Disabled Community Megathread from December 1st to December 14th
We're in for another two weeks of struggling, yet we are also never alone in these struggles. I hope that all of you find some respite despite the issues you're facing, and that you know you are appreciated, loved, and respected here.
Friendly reminder to please use
::: spoiler spoiler tags and content warnings [cw]
Hexbear CoC
:::
for sensitive content that falls under Hexbear's Code of Conduct. You can find the spoiler tag here:
After clicking it, substitute the second "spoiler" with your content warning and the three underscores ( ___ ) with your sensitive content, and you're all done.
As always, we ask that in order to participate in the weekly megathread, one self-identifies as some form of disabled, which is broadly defined in the community sidebar:
"Disability" is an umbrella term which encompasses physical disabilities, emotional/psychiatric disabilities, neurodivergence, intellectual/developmental disabilities, sensory disabilities, invisible disabilities, and more. You do not have to have an official diagnosis to consider yourself disabled.
Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.
Dort_Owl [they/them, any] - 2w
CW: Doomerism. Probably trauma dumping.
::: spoiler spoiler
I've come to the conclusion that most people creep me out. It's like whenever they smell vulnerability or trauma they go rabid at the smell of what they think is a weakness they can exploit. Like a sharks eyes turning black when it smells blood. There's no humanity or compassion when people go like that. Just the instinctive eat or be eaten mentality our sick system has taught us.
:::
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 2w
It's not doomerist, but sadly, a very accurate assessment of how things are. I'm gonna be a hopeful optimist and say "It can still be changed", because I truly believe it can.
Unfortunately, you're right, it really is this system who taught us, and oh my, it has taught us well. This exploitation you describe is all too real and I've seen it too.
I want you to know that there's more people like us out there who do not pounce on others like this; people who accommodate and care instead of hurt and exploit. Don't give up hope yet
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Keld [he/him, any] - 2w
"You have to consider whether doing what is best for the patient is sustainable as a general practice"
First off, get your kant bullshit out of my face, secondly what the fuck.
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0x2640 - 2w
maybe all doctors are bastards,,,,
they are kinda just cops for medical care in most cases
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Keld [he/him, any] - 1w
The worst part about it is that it is a totally unforced conflict of interest. Doctors should have an ethical obligation to their patients and their common humanity solely. But by forcing doctors act as medical gatekeepers we are compromising this and making them untrustworthy to patients.
My doctor making a mistake is human, my doctor withholding medical care makes us opposed.
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mononoke @lemmy.sdf.org - 1w
My doctor making a mistake is human, my doctor withholding medical care makes us opposed.
This is the fundamental issue that I think most people don't think of when I compare doctors' roles in society to that of the police. It's really not that unbelievable if we consider the overwhelming role they actually play, which is exactly that: the bureaucratic gatekeeper between receiving care or receiving no care. Don't say anything to piss off a doctor...sound familiar?
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TheSpectreOfGay [hy/hym, she/her] - 2day
man i hate going to therapy. all this person does is tell me "wow that sucks" and like. okay. i know that, why am i coming here. i feel like it's the same as talking to a chatbot
and then people say "oh you just haven't found the right therapist for you!" but i don't have the money to shop around for random therapists, i've just got the one that's free with my aid. and i have a feeling that even if i did that, it wouldn't help, bc i 1. have internalized that telling other people everything about me will make them think i am insane and i will be severely punished for this and 2. most of the traditional talk therapy methods don't work for me because i am autistic and traumatized. i actually got declined from a (government run) cbt program that probably would have sucked for having too much trauma, but the alternative seems to just be nothing??? lmao
i wanna see if i can switch to animal assisted therapy because i'll get to pet something then at least
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Salah [ey/em] - 2day
Therapy for autistic people is very lacking and it’s horribly ableist that experts aren’t doing enough research on developing better methods.
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 12hr
I hate therapy too! I had five different therapies on the NHS and they were all so bad that they made me feel worse, because I was stressed out about having to go there every week. If it wasn't for disability claims and appeals needing as much medical evidence as possible, i wouldn't have bothered with therapy after realising how awful it is. I don't understand reddit's hard-on for therapy, whenever someone has a problem on reddit they're all "GEt tHeRApy nOw!"
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mendiCAN [none/use name] - 9hr
pretending your question wasn't rhetorical, i figger cuz they've actually never had therapy and their understanding of what it is comes from the media they consume
4
TheSpectreOfGay [hy/hym, she/her] - 10hr
there's also that meme of "men will literally do x before going to therapy" that pisses me off so much like therapy is a magic cure all and would instantly make a sexist man not sexist or whatever, when in my experience therapists barely push back against shitty beliefs
i guess the alternative is admitting mental health improvement would require material and systemic change and libs reaaally don't like those words
I can't talk to the efficacy of therapy in general, but if isnt helping you it isnt helping you.
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Keld [he/him, any] - 2w
"If you think about it, using a stethoscope is sort of like using AI" - My actual lecturer.
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mononoke @lemmy.sdf.org - 2w
It's really fun and cool to witness the degradation of knowledge in real-time.
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 2w
I sometimes wonder how these sentences come about in context, like ???
Also, weird analogy 😂
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Keld [he/him, any] - 2w
"Some day we won't use nornal stethoscopes because an ai will be able to analyse the sound much better. But that won't invalidate doctors as a profession, AI is just a tool. If you think about it, using a stethoscope is sort of like using AI"
The expanded lecturers take.
5
gingerbrat [she/her] - 2w
That's... actually worse
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la_tasalana_intissari_mata [comrade/them] - 1w
I mask too well, people end up thinking I have no problems or that I can help them out, sometimes they come for help to me sometimes they think I have it good, none would sit down and try to have a conversation with me about it.
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 1w
I know that feeling all too well
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iArtemis [she/her, fae/faer] - 1w
I got a bike for the first time in 5 years
I rode a bike for the first time in 5 years (took half an hour to go somewhere 8 minutes away)
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 5day
Awyiss riding bikes is amazing, I'm so happy for you
And don't worry about the speed, the important part is that you got to ride a bike again!
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Moss [they/them] - 7day
What if I just didn't work another day in my life?
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Keld [he/him, any] - 7day
I am interested in this philosophy and wish for you to tell me more.
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Moss [they/them] - 6day
I have not thought any more about this. I guess step one is to have rich parents
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Keld [he/him, any] - 6day
Well see that there is a problem.
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 6day
Same here
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BountifulEggnog [she/her] - 6day
I think about this and the amount of time my savings would last me under various living conditions a lot
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 2w
Hello fellow members of c/disabled. As mentioned in last weeks mega, the mods created a short "Information Post" about Ableist Language on the site and the consequences of using said language. Thank you to everyone who already offered up feedback and input in the last mega, we appreciate you taking the time to help make it better! We're looking forward to more input, should you have any, and will try to incorporate the feedback to the best of our ability. You can find the current state of the document under this link here. Make sure to delete the space between the two parts of the link before hitting enter: https://cryptpad.fr/doc/#/2/doc/edit/ XBOFfyoPSb0-l4vFySADdh+g/
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 2w
Short apology on my part, I was busy over the weekend so not all updates have made their way in yet. I'll get to it soon!
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un_mask_me [any] - 2w
Trying to catch up today, appreciate you.
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 2w
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BountifulEggnog [she/her] - 1w
Guessing everyone remembers but autistic, for context
A full time management position is opening up at work and I am both qualified and my manager's top pick. I really want this promotion, both for my resume and obv better pay. Not that good but an improvement either way.
However I am very worried about the interview itself, it sounds like it might be done by some of upper management/hr and not my direct report which has me more nervous, I've made good impressions with them I believe but obviously I have to sell myself a lot more then my manager who already likes me enough to be her pick. I also haven't had such a position before so I'm nervous about what questions they might ask and how to respond. Also just being a manager, as someone who is ND. idk if anyone has any advice for me or anything like that I'd appreciate it, maybe I am just overthinking it. After figuring out that I am ND I just think about how that effects me and dynamics with NTs a lot.
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un_mask_me [any] - 1w
Hey, first off congrats on being up for the promotion that's awesome! If you trust the manager who likes you and you're comfortable with it I'd say ask them for some interview advice. You can frame it as not having had to interview on that level before, or just being out of practice, and ask them why they like you for the position so you can hit those same talking points during the higher-ups interview. If you have access to the actual job posting you can prepare talking points about yourself that refer back to exactly what they're looking for. I was always told to keep answers short and concise, and include real-world or recent examples of times you handled certain challenges, but only when asked. It never hurts to look up common interview questions for [position].
You got this! It's okay and natural to be nervous about this kind of thing. We believe in you, and good luck <3
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 4day
Everything has gone to shit, even more than usual. My achilles is effed up again, my landlady is taking all her frustrations out on me and making the house awkward and uncomfortable and the absolute icing on the cake - I got a letter from the DWP saying that due to a backlog they are more delayed with getting through claimants appeals and assessments and it looks like my finances won't be fixed soon and I'll be relying on help from mutual aid for longer. Which is pretty terrifying considering how not only I but many others who use mutual aid are finding responses dwindling and more difficult to come by. What is the point of living like this? I wish it was all over. I don't know just how bad my achilles actually is yet, it's inflamed, hot and painful but when it gets like this it tends to worsen for a while, so I don't yet know how debilitating it's going to be. I can't bear the thought of being trapped indoors for months again, it's absolutely devastating to mental health to be a prisoner unable to get out. Walking outside is one of the few things that makes life bearable. The only other thing I've got is music, I've always been a big fan of rock and metal and have taken refuge in it during problems, but when I fell into financial ruin I ended up having to sell most of my CDs (and got an absolute pittance for them, much less than they were worth). So now it's quietly listening with poor sound quality on youtube instead of putting headphones in and blasting it up. And god, the endless stress of finances. Why can't I just have a fatal heart attack or something?
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un_mask_me [any] - 2day
Goodness that's a lot, comrade. Is the backlog letter saying they're pushing your benefit evaluation further out than the start of next year? I'm so sorry it's just been one thing after another with that, you really haven't caught any breaks. Hopefully your tendon flare up settles quickly, and doesn't keep you tied down for too long.
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 2day
Yes, they're estimating an extra 6 months wait (though it could be before that). When, like now, this happens during an appeal, it makes life much more difficult. When it happens prior to a normal reassessment, it's good. If you're in receipt of your benefits and they add an extra length of time before reassessing you, it means you keep getting paid for that extra time. But if you're appealing and not being paid, it means extra time without money.
Thanks for the moral support.
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un_mask_me [any] - 2day
6 months is a ridiculously long time to add for waiting on an appeal. I really hope it doesn't get to that time period, you've waited so long already. Fuck these useless systems of oppression, it should all be razed back to the soil they stand on.
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 2day
It might not actually be that long. When they do an extension, they make it 6 months automatically but it could be sooner than that. I hope so, anyway.
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un_mask_me [any] - 2day
Me too, love
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 6day
Well my cold finally died down a bit and I just managed to get to see a dentist. After all the insane effort I went to to see one, firstly they didn't even bother checking the entitlement form that I'd gone to so much time and bother to get, and then they said there was nothing wrong with my teeth now anyway. I suppose that's good though. My migraines and bladder are flaring up though, maybe because I started taking my folate supplements again as the tingling in my legs is so bad.
I also seem to be getting taken for a ride on lemmy again. Someone on there contacted me to say he was going to send me a food gift card. Then, as has happened multiple times from other people before, I got a message every day for the next few days with some excuse about why he hadn't been able to do it. Why do people do this? I should know by now that if someone contacts me saying they're going to help, they won't come through. If someone is actually going to help they just do it. The people who send messages saying they intend to help at some future time, never do. I know this and yet I still let myself feel relieved and excited about the promised help, I still rush online every day to check if it's come through, only to be disappointed that there is nothing on my inbox but an excuse or just silence. I still don't understand why people do this, what do they gain from it? It's even worse when they leave a post in your mutual aid request thread implying that they have helped you, so other people who might have helped don't bother, and then they don't come through and you get nothing. It is such an endless phenomenon. Thanks god one person responded to my post for real this month, I reckon I can stretch it out for a couple more weeks, otherwise i don't know what I would do right now.
Oh and my landlady bullied me into helping her lift her xmas tree, despite the fact that my disabilities cause me to get severely injured when lifting things, we've argued about this before and I've just finished a course of shockwave therapy due to my last injuries. Anyway now my back and achilles tendon are hurt.
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 5day
I'm glad your cold finally got better, it always sucks being sick, but especially when there's so much else going on.
At least someone came through, but it's really frustrating that people keep promising something and then don't follow through. You deserve better.
And fuck your landlady. I know she's a big help in many ways, but srsly, that's not okay.
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 5day
Thank you.
Yeah, there are lots of problems with living here, she has no respect for any type of boundaries. But still there's no real alternative except a homeless shelter or something, which would be awful. Just one of the many issues of capitalism, no money, no real choice of living situation.
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TheSpectreOfGay [hy/hym, she/her] - 1w
i'm just going to give up and be a night owl from now on. it's so much easier to function at night because it's not as loud, and i seem to have a hyper-vigilance thing going on during the day where i can't relax at all
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un_mask_me [any] - 1w
Sometimes we adapt to what works best for us, so why not try for a later schedule if it works for you! It's wild how much more quiet it gets at night, especially in the colder months. The stillness of it can't be beat compared to the day time. There's less expectation, less stress, and a calm that makes it so appealing. Hope you can find some more relaxation time soon.
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Keld [he/him, any] - 3day
One of the people who live close by has been playing the same music thing for a long time.
Dun dun dun da duuun.
Dun dun dun da duuun.
Dun dun dun da duuun.
Dun dun dun da duuun.
Dun dun dun da duuun.
Dun dun dun da duuun.
Dun dun dun da duuun.
Dun dun dun da duuun.
Dun dun dun da duuun.
Like it's not a whole song. It's not even a verse. It's two seconds looped over and over again.
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 3day
Could be one of those deep house mixes on youtube. There's a lot of (ai) generated stuff out there that is very repetitive.
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Nasalstrip [he/him] - 2day
Anyone have advice on how to deal with shame regarding not driving?
I have horrible adhd and pretty significant damage from covid (thanks for being super unsafe and giving it to me 3 times, dad), and the combination makes me extremely inattentive, insane brain fog, can’t pay attention to all the signs, multiple mirrors, other drivers, lights, etc. that come with driving and I’ve just decided I shouldn’t drive because I don’t want other people to be harmed or have to pay money I don’t have for any damages that may happen.
However at the same time I feel like there’s so much pressure and I won’t be fully free or adult without knowing how to drive. I’m 21 and super embarrassed even though I know it’s the logical and most wise course to take. I drive to and from work but I still have to get driven everywhere else by my mom or dad (usually my mom) and it’s kind of embarrassing, especially because people react so weird when I say I don’t drive as if driving isn’t a big deal and terrifying.
I have very solid plans to move to one of the biggest cities in the US (2 hours from me) and I know I will never have to drive again but I’m still feeling a bit inferior.
Sorry to ramble, I just tried to drive in semi busy conditions again and freaked out and had 2 rude drivers behind me throw me totally off. I just can’t keep up at all. My dad had to take over lol.
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 2day
People can be really weird and judgmental to non-drivers. I remember one person on reddit calling me a loser because i don't drive. When I told them I literally can't drive because I'm partially sighted, they doubled down and insisted anyone who doesn't drive is a loser. Glad to know being disabled makes me a loser.
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un_mask_me [any] - 2day
That person can go sit in syrup.
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 2day
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un_mask_me [any] - 2day
Haha, this is from a comfort show I watch all the time. They have the best/weirdest insults and I love it!
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 2day
Which show is that?
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un_mask_me [any] - 2day
Bob's Burgers, it has so many great one liners
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Nasalstrip [he/him] - 11hr
Omg I’ve watched that show so many times and didn’t even catch that it was a bobs burgers reference🤦♂️
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un_mask_me [any] - 2day
Driving is incredibly stressful, and if it weren't absolutely necessary I'd ditch it entirely! It's not a strange or weird thing to want to avoid it, nor does it make you any lesser of a person. Car brain worms run deep, but what's more important is your comfort and safety. As for dealing with the shame, I suppose it might help to reframe how you and others around you are approaching the topic. For you, driving doesn't make sense and isn't really a viable option for travel, and that's just fine. It seems a bit ableist and maybe even a bit classist to give looks or judge people on not driving everywhere. Not everyone can afford cars or physically meet requirements to get behind the wheel. If you're getting unwanted feedback or questions about why, it might help to have a quick response ready, like "my disability makes it difficult" or even "it's just not my thing" (when referring to driving). And no apologies needed, we're here to support one another as best we can.
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 2day
I'm sorry you have to deal with all that judgement. I'm avoiding driving too because I think it's terrifying and I regret ever getting a license. You're doing the right thing, acknowledging your limits and prioritizing safety, both yours and others. Remind yourself of that and keep telling people off who try to shame you for it. I also really hope that moving to the bigger city will help
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Nasalstrip [he/him] - 2day
Thank you, having so many people reply has made me feel a lot better
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 2day
Happy to help in what little way we can
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Keld [he/him, any] - 1w
"The difference between a common solution like ours and a fully privatised healthcare system is that we don't have access to all the resources for each patient that a privatised system does. A doctor in a privatised system can get as many scans and tests as he wants, while we have to make do"
Pardon me Mr. Doctor man?!?
Also giving us an exercise where the intended outcome is that I permanently disable a (fictional) patient is a messed up way to teach me not to order too man scans.
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BountifulEggnog [she/her] - 6day
My old fan broke from being used forever, new fan (supposedly same unit) has a much different, higher pitched sound. Its going to take some time to get used to the new white noise lol
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Keld [he/him, any] - 6day
Can you even lubricate a fan?
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BountifulEggnog [she/her] - 6day
I don't think that's the issue, it sounds like the way the blades push air is just different. Fans all sound quite a bit different to me.
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Keld [he/him, any] - 6day
I'm going to the doctor and helping someone else go to the doctor (Volunteering) on the same day next week and it all fits together because my school schedule has 4 lectures and 6 hours between them.
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iArtemis [she/her, fae/faer] - 5day
sorry about all the deleted post, just had to say something and didn't know how to put it until now:
Sometimes aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa really is all that needs to be said
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Salah [ey/em] - 4day
Girl, same
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mendiCAN [none/use name] - 4day
i love y'all, just sayin
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 4day
And we love you too
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 4day
My weak achilles tendon is painful and inflamed again after being pressured into lifting that blasted xmas tree. I am so stressed about this I could cry. I can't stand the thought of going back to potentially being housebound for months. Why does everything have to be so shit all the time?
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 4day
Oh no, not again. I hope it doesn't get too bad, Keeping my fingers crossed for you
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 4day
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Nasalstrip [he/him] - 11hr
Took a Vyvanse and got 4 essays and all my other college assignments done, going to go pay this bill and turn in my rented textbooks and then it’ll finally be good riddance.
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Nasalstrip [he/him] - 11hr
Paying a $250 bill when you just lent your mom 2k and your dad 1.2k is painful.
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Keld [he/him, any] - 2day
"If you investigate a patients aymptoms you may kill them!"
"If you tell them a genetic test for a thing with an 0.000003% chance of happening is probably unnecessary without family history you could be killing their child"
You got to pick one.
This feels distinctly like youre training me to do eugenics rather than treat patients
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roux [they/them, xe/xem] - 3day
Haven't checked in lately because I'm been working a lot, and relying way too much on drugs and alcohol lately. I won't get into the drugs part so probably don't need spoiler tags. I do need to cut back on alcohol though.
I get unsupervised visitation rights for my kids. But I suspect that is so my ex can go do whatever she now does in her free time. She's been lying to me about almost everything this whole divorce process and I'm probably gonna email her lawyer and add to the list of my "demands" that she stops lying. I'd rather hear a shitty truth than deal with her extremely bad attempts at lying, especially when it involves my kids.
The band project is stuck in schedule hell right now but once we figure that out, we have a guitarist, drummer and now possible other bassist. If this bassist joins on, I'm considering switching to main vocals full time and helping with writing music while I continue to relearn bass. Turns out it's actually kind of like riding a bike. I'm working on alternate picking since it's something I never really got down when I played last. For the band's sound, I wanted to go with older hardcore punk but now I'm thinking about doing closer to early 2000's hardcore(Hopesfall, Poison the Well, On Broken Wings, The Number Twelve Looks Like You, etc. But I still want the politically charged themes. I'm working on lyrics for a few songs that focus on my own mental health, communist revolution, trans rights, and landback. I'm also working on my fry screams and I think I got them fairly nailed down at this point. I even have my own twist on them for a bit of flair lol.
I think that's about it. I'm watching The Sopranos for the first time since I told my friend I'd give it a go. Also first time watching Boondocks. I'm enjoying both so far.
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un_mask_me [any] - 2day
Glad to hear you're doing okay, comrade, hope things continue in a better direction for you
3
roux [they/them, xe/xem] - 2day
Appreciate ya!
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 2day
Despite all the trouble and hardship you were and still are facing, I am so immensely happy for you finally getting stuff going in a way that makes you feel better. Cutting back on alcohol is tough, and I really hope you can make it work. Being able to see your kids unsupervised is such a huge thing, really glad this worked out. Also, fuck your ex. Both you and your kids deserve better.
Really hope the band project works out and you can go ahead and make music. Would really love to hear some if it weren't for the doxxing. Wishing you all the success and fun with it! This'll be good for you, I'm sure of it. Just make sure to take regular breaks, alright? Watching shows seems like a good way of doing it btw, hope the shows remain to your liking. Take care of yourself, I'm proud of you!
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roux [they/them, xe/xem] - 2day
Thanks for the inspiring words as always.
I could possibly figure something out to share the band stuff once it's going without doxxing. Maybe dming? I'd like to be playing out in 6 months or so from the time we first start practicing.
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 2day
Any time
I'd appreciate it, but don't rush yourself on my behalf <3
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DragonBallZinn [he/him, they/them] - 2day
Obviously this is a “no duh” for many autistic people here, but one of the many things holding autistic people back is their first mentors are sometimes their first naysayers.
Many school faculty may have this belief even the best autistic student is still a waste to educate and their best case scenario is being tossed into a group home and maybe having a custodian volunteership for the rest of their lives. As a result, many autistic people literally have gaps in their skills they otherwise could have learned.
I was going on with this with my therapist yesterday. I am still plenty capable of a person, but still unemployed. One of the reason is this lack of skills I developed because of these early mentors passively assuming I’ll just be a minimum wage worker on benefits for the rest of my life.
And thus you see a lot of autistic people struggling when their suffering could have been avoided.
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un_mask_me [any] - 2day
Well said. It's something that isn't acknowledged by many as a whole that causes so many problems, and not just for people with ASD. The inherent ableism of our established systems causes some sort of mental or physical anguish to disabled comrades in every facet of our lives, from employment to healthcare and beyond.
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TheSpectreOfGay [hy/hym, she/her] - 5day
i got a cold
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 5day
Get well soon sweetie
If you need anything, tissues, soup, or anything else, let us know <3
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 1w
I've got a terrible cold. Maybe covid, who knows? Had it for several days. I can't stop coughing, so much my throat and mouth taste like blood. I knew all those people in the supermarket coughing on everyone, not wearing masks, would do this.
And I don't know if I'm in a suitable state to go to the dentist now, but that is still proving a difficulty anyway. I finally got my proof of entitlement to free dental, but now it's so hard getting an appointment. I spent two days trying to contact NHS 111 who deal with this and when I finally got through they said they don't deal with this in my area any more and gave me a different place to contact. When I finally managed to contact them they told me it was too late and to try again another day. Why is everything so difficult in this country?
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un_mask_me [any] - 1w
I'm so sorry you're sick, comrade, I hope it's not covid and is just a cold you can heal from quickly. It has to be so frustrating not being able to book an appointment, especially with everything being a multi-step process. Sinus stuff can mess with tooth pain, hopefully it's not too uncomfortable for you in the interim. Stay warm and hydrated, love, I'm sure you'll get through it soon.
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 1w
Thank you.
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 2day
::: spoiler CW: heavy body dysphoria and associated rage/anger/hatred
The endometriosis diagnosis has been keeping me in a constant state of near-panic for the last two weeks. It brought so many painful and taxing memories back, made me realize a lot of things that I hate about myself might just be caused by the endo. It's... it's a lot to deal with, and I don't feel like educating myself is making me feel better in any way. I don't even feel like learning about this chronic disease makes handling it easier. On the contrary, somehow, because all drug-related treatment options I already got for other problems before the diagnosis and these drugs made me feel so much worse. I remember being not even a teenager when I got my first incredibly painful period and all I could think was "I hope I can remove this shitty organ as soon as possible". And now they tell me that removing the organ doesn't make anything better. I also really hated growing into my boobs, as they made me feel like I was losing myself and becoming someone I didn't like or wanted to be (they still do to this day whenever they start hurting during the cycle). I'm afab, and for usually half of my cycle, I actually enjoy being a woman, dressing up, makeup, acting foolishly girly, all the regular stuff, you know. The other half, I'd rather be anything but a woman, and it involves a lot of self-degradation. For a long time I thought I might just be an egg, but now I realize that it might just be a disease making me hate this part of myself. Maybe being a woman doesn't have to be that bad. However, with the shitty treatment options I have available, I really don't see how I could ever get in touch with a body that again feels like it has betrayed me. Chronic condition number three kind of makes me doubt this hunk that breathes and eats for me is really supporting me.
:::
Anyway, this is a long and hateful rant, so please, if you're not feeling well yourselves, don't read it right now. I just wanted to vent. Love you all
4
DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 2day
So sorry you've got all this going on. It's awful coping with chronic debilitating disease in a world with crappy treatment options. I hope you can get some relief.
4
gingerbrat [she/her] - 2day
2
un_mask_me [any] - 2day
It's a whole heck of a lot to process, both internally and dealing with the systemic problems exacerbating everything. It's not fair that our bodies give us these additional burdens to carry. It sucks, and it's okay to say it sucks. Hugs, if wanted comrade.
featured! - gingerbrat in disabled
Disabled Community Megathread from December 1st to December 14th
We're in for another two weeks of struggling, yet we are also never alone in these struggles. I hope that all of you find some respite despite the issues you're facing, and that you know you are appreciated, loved, and respected here.
Friendly reminder to please use ::: spoiler spoiler tags and content warnings [cw] Hexbear CoC ::: for sensitive content that falls under Hexbear's Code of Conduct. You can find the spoiler tag here:
After clicking it, substitute the second "spoiler" with your content warning and the three underscores ( ___ ) with your sensitive content, and you're all done.
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Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.
CW: Doomerism. Probably trauma dumping.
::: spoiler spoiler I've come to the conclusion that most people creep me out. It's like whenever they smell vulnerability or trauma they go rabid at the smell of what they think is a weakness they can exploit. Like a sharks eyes turning black when it smells blood. There's no humanity or compassion when people go like that. Just the instinctive eat or be eaten mentality our sick system has taught us. :::
It's not doomerist, but sadly, a very accurate assessment of how things are. I'm gonna be a hopeful optimist and say "It can still be changed", because I truly believe it can.
Unfortunately, you're right, it really is this system who taught us, and oh my, it has taught us well. This exploitation you describe is all too real and I've seen it too.
I want you to know that there's more people like us out there who do not pounce on others like this; people who accommodate and care instead of hurt and exploit. Don't give up hope yet
"You have to consider whether doing what is best for the patient is sustainable as a general practice"
First off, get your kant bullshit out of my face, secondly what the fuck.
maybe all doctors are bastards,,,,
they are kinda just cops for medical care in most cases
The worst part about it is that it is a totally unforced conflict of interest. Doctors should have an ethical obligation to their patients and their common humanity solely. But by forcing doctors act as medical gatekeepers we are compromising this and making them untrustworthy to patients.
My doctor making a mistake is human, my doctor withholding medical care makes us opposed.
This is the fundamental issue that I think most people don't think of when I compare doctors' roles in society to that of the police. It's really not that unbelievable if we consider the overwhelming role they actually play, which is exactly that: the bureaucratic gatekeeper between receiving care or receiving no care. Don't say anything to piss off a doctor...sound familiar?
man i hate going to therapy. all this person does is tell me "wow that sucks" and like. okay. i know that, why am i coming here. i feel like it's the same as talking to a chatbot
and then people say "oh you just haven't found the right therapist for you!" but i don't have the money to shop around for random therapists, i've just got the one that's free with my aid. and i have a feeling that even if i did that, it wouldn't help, bc i 1. have internalized that telling other people everything about me will make them think i am insane and i will be severely punished for this and 2. most of the traditional talk therapy methods don't work for me because i am autistic and traumatized. i actually got declined from a (government run) cbt program that probably would have sucked for having too much trauma, but the alternative seems to just be nothing??? lmao
i wanna see if i can switch to animal assisted therapy because i'll get to pet something then at least
Therapy for autistic people is very lacking and it’s horribly ableist that experts aren’t doing enough research on developing better methods.
I hate therapy too! I had five different therapies on the NHS and they were all so bad that they made me feel worse, because I was stressed out about having to go there every week. If it wasn't for disability claims and appeals needing as much medical evidence as possible, i wouldn't have bothered with therapy after realising how awful it is. I don't understand reddit's hard-on for therapy, whenever someone has a problem on reddit they're all "GEt tHeRApy nOw!"
pretending your question wasn't rhetorical, i figger cuz they've actually never had therapy and their understanding of what it is comes from the media they consume
there's also that meme of "men will literally do x before going to therapy" that pisses me off so much like therapy is a magic cure all and would instantly make a sexist man not sexist or whatever, when in my experience therapists barely push back against shitty beliefs
i guess the alternative is admitting mental health improvement would require material and systemic change and libs reaaally don't like those words
There's a reason Eliza was such a revelation.
I can't talk to the efficacy of therapy in general, but if isnt helping you it isnt helping you.
"If you think about it, using a stethoscope is sort of like using AI" - My actual lecturer.
It's really fun and cool to witness the degradation of knowledge in real-time.
I sometimes wonder how these sentences come about in context, like ???
Also, weird analogy 😂
"Some day we won't use nornal stethoscopes because an ai will be able to analyse the sound much better. But that won't invalidate doctors as a profession, AI is just a tool. If you think about it, using a stethoscope is sort of like using AI"
The expanded lecturers take.
That's... actually worse
I mask too well, people end up thinking I have no problems or that I can help them out, sometimes they come for help to me sometimes they think I have it good, none would sit down and try to have a conversation with me about it.
I know that feeling all too well
I got a bike for the first time in 5 years
I rode a bike for the first time in 5 years
(took half an hour to go somewhere 8 minutes away)
Awyiss riding bikes is amazing, I'm so happy for you
And don't worry about the speed, the important part is that you got to ride a bike again!
What if I just didn't work another day in my life?
I am interested in this philosophy and wish for you to tell me more.
I have not thought any more about this. I guess step one is to have rich parents
Well see that there is a problem.
Same here
I think about this and the amount of time my savings would last me under various living conditions a lot
Hello fellow members of c/disabled. As mentioned in last weeks mega, the mods created a short "Information Post" about Ableist Language on the site and the consequences of using said language. Thank you to everyone who already offered up feedback and input in the last mega, we appreciate you taking the time to help make it better! We're looking forward to more input, should you have any, and will try to incorporate the feedback to the best of our ability. You can find the current state of the document under this link here. Make sure to delete the space between the two parts of the link before hitting enter: https://cryptpad.fr/doc/#/2/doc/edit/ XBOFfyoPSb0-l4vFySADdh+g/
Short apology on my part, I was busy over the weekend so not all updates have made their way in yet. I'll get to it soon!
Trying to catch up today, appreciate you.
Guessing everyone remembers but autistic, for context
A full time management position is opening up at work and I am both qualified and my manager's top pick. I really want this promotion, both for my resume and obv better pay. Not that good but an improvement either way.
However I am very worried about the interview itself, it sounds like it might be done by some of upper management/hr and not my direct report which has me more nervous, I've made good impressions with them I believe but obviously I have to sell myself a lot more then my manager who already likes me enough to be her pick. I also haven't had such a position before so I'm nervous about what questions they might ask and how to respond. Also just being a manager, as someone who is ND. idk if anyone has any advice for me or anything like that I'd appreciate it, maybe I am just overthinking it. After figuring out that I am ND I just think about how that effects me and dynamics with NTs a lot.
Hey, first off congrats on being up for the promotion that's awesome! If you trust the manager who likes you and you're comfortable with it I'd say ask them for some interview advice. You can frame it as not having had to interview on that level before, or just being out of practice, and ask them why they like you for the position so you can hit those same talking points during the higher-ups interview. If you have access to the actual job posting you can prepare talking points about yourself that refer back to exactly what they're looking for. I was always told to keep answers short and concise, and include real-world or recent examples of times you handled certain challenges, but only when asked. It never hurts to look up common interview questions for [position].
You got this! It's okay and natural to be nervous about this kind of thing. We believe in you, and good luck <3
Everything has gone to shit, even more than usual. My achilles is effed up again, my landlady is taking all her frustrations out on me and making the house awkward and uncomfortable and the absolute icing on the cake - I got a letter from the DWP saying that due to a backlog they are more delayed with getting through claimants appeals and assessments and it looks like my finances won't be fixed soon and I'll be relying on help from mutual aid for longer. Which is pretty terrifying considering how not only I but many others who use mutual aid are finding responses dwindling and more difficult to come by. What is the point of living like this? I wish it was all over. I don't know just how bad my achilles actually is yet, it's inflamed, hot and painful but when it gets like this it tends to worsen for a while, so I don't yet know how debilitating it's going to be. I can't bear the thought of being trapped indoors for months again, it's absolutely devastating to mental health to be a prisoner unable to get out. Walking outside is one of the few things that makes life bearable. The only other thing I've got is music, I've always been a big fan of rock and metal and have taken refuge in it during problems, but when I fell into financial ruin I ended up having to sell most of my CDs (and got an absolute pittance for them, much less than they were worth). So now it's quietly listening with poor sound quality on youtube instead of putting headphones in and blasting it up. And god, the endless stress of finances. Why can't I just have a fatal heart attack or something?
Goodness that's a lot, comrade. Is the backlog letter saying they're pushing your benefit evaluation further out than the start of next year? I'm so sorry it's just been one thing after another with that, you really haven't caught any breaks. Hopefully your tendon flare up settles quickly, and doesn't keep you tied down for too long.
Yes, they're estimating an extra 6 months wait (though it could be before that). When, like now, this happens during an appeal, it makes life much more difficult. When it happens prior to a normal reassessment, it's good. If you're in receipt of your benefits and they add an extra length of time before reassessing you, it means you keep getting paid for that extra time. But if you're appealing and not being paid, it means extra time without money.
Thanks for the moral support.
6 months is a ridiculously long time to add for waiting on an appeal. I really hope it doesn't get to that time period, you've waited so long already. Fuck these useless systems of oppression, it should all be razed back to the soil they stand on.
It might not actually be that long. When they do an extension, they make it 6 months automatically but it could be sooner than that. I hope so, anyway.
Me too, love
Well my cold finally died down a bit and I just managed to get to see a dentist. After all the insane effort I went to to see one, firstly they didn't even bother checking the entitlement form that I'd gone to so much time and bother to get, and then they said there was nothing wrong with my teeth now anyway. I suppose that's good though. My migraines and bladder are flaring up though, maybe because I started taking my folate supplements again as the tingling in my legs is so bad.
I also seem to be getting taken for a ride on lemmy again. Someone on there contacted me to say he was going to send me a food gift card. Then, as has happened multiple times from other people before, I got a message every day for the next few days with some excuse about why he hadn't been able to do it. Why do people do this? I should know by now that if someone contacts me saying they're going to help, they won't come through. If someone is actually going to help they just do it. The people who send messages saying they intend to help at some future time, never do. I know this and yet I still let myself feel relieved and excited about the promised help, I still rush online every day to check if it's come through, only to be disappointed that there is nothing on my inbox but an excuse or just silence. I still don't understand why people do this, what do they gain from it? It's even worse when they leave a post in your mutual aid request thread implying that they have helped you, so other people who might have helped don't bother, and then they don't come through and you get nothing. It is such an endless phenomenon. Thanks god one person responded to my post for real this month, I reckon I can stretch it out for a couple more weeks, otherwise i don't know what I would do right now.
Oh and my landlady bullied me into helping her lift her xmas tree, despite the fact that my disabilities cause me to get severely injured when lifting things, we've argued about this before and I've just finished a course of shockwave therapy due to my last injuries. Anyway now my back and achilles tendon are hurt.
I'm glad your cold finally got better, it always sucks being sick, but especially when there's so much else going on.
At least someone came through, but it's really frustrating that people keep promising something and then don't follow through. You deserve better.
And fuck your landlady. I know she's a big help in many ways, but srsly, that's not okay.
Thank you.
Yeah, there are lots of problems with living here, she has no respect for any type of boundaries. But still there's no real alternative except a homeless shelter or something, which would be awful. Just one of the many issues of capitalism, no money, no real choice of living situation.
i'm just going to give up and be a night owl from now on. it's so much easier to function at night because it's not as loud, and i seem to have a hyper-vigilance thing going on during the day where i can't relax at all
Sometimes we adapt to what works best for us, so why not try for a later schedule if it works for you! It's wild how much more quiet it gets at night, especially in the colder months. The stillness of it can't be beat compared to the day time. There's less expectation, less stress, and a calm that makes it so appealing. Hope you can find some more relaxation time soon.
One of the people who live close by has been playing the same music thing for a long time.
Dun dun dun da duuun.
Dun dun dun da duuun.
Dun dun dun da duuun.
Dun dun dun da duuun.
Dun dun dun da duuun.
Dun dun dun da duuun.
Dun dun dun da duuun.
Dun dun dun da duuun.
Dun dun dun da duuun.
Like it's not a whole song. It's not even a verse. It's two seconds looped over and over again.
Could be one of those deep house mixes on youtube. There's a lot of (ai) generated stuff out there that is very repetitive.
Anyone have advice on how to deal with shame regarding not driving?
I have horrible adhd and pretty significant damage from covid (thanks for being super unsafe and giving it to me 3 times, dad), and the combination makes me extremely inattentive, insane brain fog, can’t pay attention to all the signs, multiple mirrors, other drivers, lights, etc. that come with driving and I’ve just decided I shouldn’t drive because I don’t want other people to be harmed or have to pay money I don’t have for any damages that may happen.
However at the same time I feel like there’s so much pressure and I won’t be fully free or adult without knowing how to drive. I’m 21 and super embarrassed even though I know it’s the logical and most wise course to take. I drive to and from work but I still have to get driven everywhere else by my mom or dad (usually my mom) and it’s kind of embarrassing, especially because people react so weird when I say I don’t drive as if driving isn’t a big deal and terrifying.
I have very solid plans to move to one of the biggest cities in the US (2 hours from me) and I know I will never have to drive again but I’m still feeling a bit inferior.
Sorry to ramble, I just tried to drive in semi busy conditions again and freaked out and had 2 rude drivers behind me throw me totally off. I just can’t keep up at all. My dad had to take over lol.
People can be really weird and judgmental to non-drivers. I remember one person on reddit calling me a loser because i don't drive. When I told them I literally can't drive because I'm partially sighted, they doubled down and insisted anyone who doesn't drive is a loser. Glad to know being disabled makes me a loser.
That person can go sit in syrup.
Haha, this is from a comfort show I watch all the time. They have the best/weirdest insults and I love it!
Which show is that?
Bob's Burgers, it has so many great one liners
Omg I’ve watched that show so many times and didn’t even catch that it was a bobs burgers reference🤦♂️
Driving is incredibly stressful, and if it weren't absolutely necessary I'd ditch it entirely! It's not a strange or weird thing to want to avoid it, nor does it make you any lesser of a person. Car brain worms run deep, but what's more important is your comfort and safety. As for dealing with the shame, I suppose it might help to reframe how you and others around you are approaching the topic. For you, driving doesn't make sense and isn't really a viable option for travel, and that's just fine. It seems a bit ableist and maybe even a bit classist to give looks or judge people on not driving everywhere. Not everyone can afford cars or physically meet requirements to get behind the wheel. If you're getting unwanted feedback or questions about why, it might help to have a quick response ready, like "my disability makes it difficult" or even "it's just not my thing" (when referring to driving). And no apologies needed, we're here to support one another as best we can.
I'm sorry you have to deal with all that judgement. I'm avoiding driving too because I think it's terrifying and I regret ever getting a license. You're doing the right thing, acknowledging your limits and prioritizing safety, both yours and others. Remind yourself of that and keep telling people off who try to shame you for it. I also really hope that moving to the bigger city will help
Thank you, having so many people reply has made me feel a lot better
Happy to help in what little way we can
"The difference between a common solution like ours and a fully privatised healthcare system is that we don't have access to all the resources for each patient that a privatised system does. A doctor in a privatised system can get as many scans and tests as he wants, while we have to make do"
Pardon me Mr. Doctor man?!? Also giving us an exercise where the intended outcome is that I permanently disable a (fictional) patient is a messed up way to teach me not to order too man scans.
My old fan broke from being used forever, new fan (supposedly same unit) has a much different, higher pitched sound. Its going to take some time to get used to the new white noise lol
Can you even lubricate a fan?
I don't think that's the issue, it sounds like the way the blades push air is just different. Fans all sound quite a bit different to me.
I'm going to the doctor and helping someone else go to the doctor (Volunteering) on the same day next week and it all fits together because my school schedule has 4 lectures and 6 hours between them.
sorry about all the deleted post, just had to say something and didn't know how to put it until now:
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Sometimes aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa really is all that needs to be said
Girl, same
i love y'all, just sayin
And we love you too
My weak achilles tendon is painful and inflamed again after being pressured into lifting that blasted xmas tree. I am so stressed about this I could cry. I can't stand the thought of going back to potentially being housebound for months. Why does everything have to be so shit all the time?
Oh no, not again. I hope it doesn't get too bad, Keeping my fingers crossed for you
Took a Vyvanse and got 4 essays and all my other college assignments done, going to go pay this bill and turn in my rented textbooks and then it’ll finally be good riddance.
Paying a $250 bill when you just lent your mom 2k and your dad 1.2k is painful.
"If you investigate a patients aymptoms you may kill them!" "If you tell them a genetic test for a thing with an 0.000003% chance of happening is probably unnecessary without family history you could be killing their child"
You got to pick one. This feels distinctly like youre training me to do eugenics rather than treat patients
Haven't checked in lately because I'm been working a lot, and relying way too much on drugs and alcohol lately. I won't get into the drugs part so probably don't need spoiler tags. I do need to cut back on alcohol though.
I get unsupervised visitation rights for my kids. But I suspect that is so my ex can go do whatever she now does in her free time. She's been lying to me about almost everything this whole divorce process and I'm probably gonna email her lawyer and add to the list of my "demands" that she stops lying. I'd rather hear a shitty truth than deal with her extremely bad attempts at lying, especially when it involves my kids.
The band project is stuck in schedule hell right now but once we figure that out, we have a guitarist, drummer and now possible other bassist. If this bassist joins on, I'm considering switching to main vocals full time and helping with writing music while I continue to relearn bass. Turns out it's actually kind of like riding a bike. I'm working on alternate picking since it's something I never really got down when I played last. For the band's sound, I wanted to go with older hardcore punk but now I'm thinking about doing closer to early 2000's hardcore(Hopesfall, Poison the Well, On Broken Wings, The Number Twelve Looks Like You, etc. But I still want the politically charged themes. I'm working on lyrics for a few songs that focus on my own mental health, communist revolution, trans rights, and landback. I'm also working on my fry screams and I think I got them fairly nailed down at this point. I even have my own twist on them for a bit of flair lol.
I think that's about it. I'm watching The Sopranos for the first time since I told my friend I'd give it a go. Also first time watching Boondocks. I'm enjoying both so far.
Glad to hear you're doing okay, comrade, hope things continue in a better direction for you
Appreciate ya!
Despite all the trouble and hardship you were and still are facing, I am so immensely happy for you finally getting stuff going in a way that makes you feel better. Cutting back on alcohol is tough, and I really hope you can make it work. Being able to see your kids unsupervised is such a huge thing, really glad this worked out. Also, fuck your ex. Both you and your kids deserve better.
Really hope the band project works out and you can go ahead and make music. Would really love to hear some if it weren't for the doxxing. Wishing you all the success and fun with it! This'll be good for you, I'm sure of it. Just make sure to take regular breaks, alright? Watching shows seems like a good way of doing it btw, hope the shows remain to your liking. Take care of yourself, I'm proud of you!
Thanks for the inspiring words as always.
I could possibly figure something out to share the band stuff once it's going without doxxing. Maybe dming? I'd like to be playing out in 6 months or so from the time we first start practicing.
Any time
I'd appreciate it, but don't rush yourself on my behalf <3
Obviously this is a “no duh” for many autistic people here, but one of the many things holding autistic people back is their first mentors are sometimes their first naysayers.
Many school faculty may have this belief even the best autistic student is still a waste to educate and their best case scenario is being tossed into a group home and maybe having a custodian volunteership for the rest of their lives. As a result, many autistic people literally have gaps in their skills they otherwise could have learned.
I was going on with this with my therapist yesterday. I am still plenty capable of a person, but still unemployed. One of the reason is this lack of skills I developed because of these early mentors passively assuming I’ll just be a minimum wage worker on benefits for the rest of my life.
And thus you see a lot of autistic people struggling when their suffering could have been avoided.
Well said. It's something that isn't acknowledged by many as a whole that causes so many problems, and not just for people with ASD. The inherent ableism of our established systems causes some sort of mental or physical anguish to disabled comrades in every facet of our lives, from employment to healthcare and beyond.
i got a cold
Get well soon sweetie
If you need anything, tissues, soup, or anything else, let us know <3
I've got a terrible cold. Maybe covid, who knows? Had it for several days. I can't stop coughing, so much my throat and mouth taste like blood. I knew all those people in the supermarket coughing on everyone, not wearing masks, would do this.
And I don't know if I'm in a suitable state to go to the dentist now, but that is still proving a difficulty anyway. I finally got my proof of entitlement to free dental, but now it's so hard getting an appointment. I spent two days trying to contact NHS 111 who deal with this and when I finally got through they said they don't deal with this in my area any more and gave me a different place to contact. When I finally managed to contact them they told me it was too late and to try again another day. Why is everything so difficult in this country?
I'm so sorry you're sick, comrade, I hope it's not covid and is just a cold you can heal from quickly. It has to be so frustrating not being able to book an appointment, especially with everything being a multi-step process. Sinus stuff can mess with tooth pain, hopefully it's not too uncomfortable for you in the interim. Stay warm and hydrated, love, I'm sure you'll get through it soon.
Thank you.
::: spoiler CW: heavy body dysphoria and associated rage/anger/hatred The endometriosis diagnosis has been keeping me in a constant state of near-panic for the last two weeks. It brought so many painful and taxing memories back, made me realize a lot of things that I hate about myself might just be caused by the endo. It's... it's a lot to deal with, and I don't feel like educating myself is making me feel better in any way. I don't even feel like learning about this chronic disease makes handling it easier. On the contrary, somehow, because all drug-related treatment options I already got for other problems before the diagnosis and these drugs made me feel so much worse. I remember being not even a teenager when I got my first incredibly painful period and all I could think was "I hope I can remove this shitty organ as soon as possible". And now they tell me that removing the organ doesn't make anything better. I also really hated growing into my boobs, as they made me feel like I was losing myself and becoming someone I didn't like or wanted to be (they still do to this day whenever they start hurting during the cycle). I'm afab, and for usually half of my cycle, I actually enjoy being a woman, dressing up, makeup, acting foolishly girly, all the regular stuff, you know. The other half, I'd rather be anything but a woman, and it involves a lot of self-degradation. For a long time I thought I might just be an egg, but now I realize that it might just be a disease making me hate this part of myself. Maybe being a woman doesn't have to be that bad. However, with the shitty treatment options I have available, I really don't see how I could ever get in touch with a body that again feels like it has betrayed me. Chronic condition number three kind of makes me doubt this hunk that breathes and eats for me is really supporting me. :::
Anyway, this is a long and hateful rant, so please, if you're not feeling well yourselves, don't read it right now. I just wanted to vent. Love you all
So sorry you've got all this going on. It's awful coping with chronic debilitating disease in a world with crappy treatment options. I hope you can get some relief.
It's a whole heck of a lot to process, both internally and dealing with the systemic problems exacerbating everything. It's not fair that our bodies give us these additional burdens to carry. It sucks, and it's okay to say it sucks. Hugs, if wanted comrade.
Hugs are always appreciated