Disabled Community Megathread from October 20th, 2025 to November 2nd, 2025
May you find time this week to heal, to feel, to breathe, and to rest.
Friendly reminder to please use
::: spoiler spoiler tags and content warnings [cw]
Hexbear CoC
:::
for sensitive content that falls under Hexbear's Code of Conduct.
As always, we ask that in order to participate in the weekly megathread, one self-identifies as some form of disabled, which is broadly defined in the community sidebar:
"Disability" is an umbrella term which encompasses physical disabilities, emotional/psychiatric disabilities, neurodivergence, intellectual/developmental disabilities, sensory disabilities, invisible disabilities, and more. You do not have to have an official diagnosis to consider yourself disabled.
Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.
0x2640 - 2mon
there is no such thing as "not disabled enough" to use a disability aid
if a cane/wheelchair/whatever will help you then you can just get one, acab includes the cop in your head
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BountifulEggnog [she/her] - 2mon
Legitimately sucks a lot at work. There's a lot of people who would absolutely be safer if we assisted them but they don't want us to. I understand wanting your autonomy etc but at least one of these people was told by a doctor we need to help them and they still refuse. Obviously your choice but I don't mind helping and don't want to see you get hurt.
8
Bolshechick [she/her, kit/kit's] - 1mon
Back when I thought I just had depression and anxiety I thought maybe someday I'd be "better", or at least better enough that I'd be able to do more normal stuff.
Now that I know that those are just side effects and I'm dealing with BPD, cptsd, and autism there's not really any hope anymore.
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TheSpectreOfGay [hy/hym, she/her] - 1mon
literally me if you swap out the BPD for DID. yea i have those feelings really often too, really frustrated that i can't really even leave the house
for me what helped the most was radical acceptance that it's actually okay to not be able to do normal stuff and just relax all day, but it took a very very long time to get there
6
un_mask_me [any] - 1mon
Those are some heavy things to manage and work through, especially day-to-day. I hope you can still experience some of the things you want in the future, even if they come about a bit differently than you'd imagined.
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BountifulEggnog [she/her] - 1mon
Not BPD/cpstd (well maybe on that last one) but yea same.
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 1mon
CW ableism
::: spoiler spoiler
Today on reddit someone said "After a nuclear war you and the rest of the survivors are running out of food due to a low yield harvest. One person suggests exile all disabled people to the cold wastes to die, another suggests abortion of current pregnant mothers. Other choices are a lottery to decide who dies, or do nothing. What would you rather do?"
They overwhelmingly voted to exile all the disabled people to die.
:::
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 1mon
While I absolutely share your frustration and am glad you shared this post, I wanted to ask you to put a CW for ableism in your post as this is some very dark stuff and it should be marked accordingly.
Edit: Thank you!
4
Keld [he/him, any] - 1mon
I mean obviously.
It is a hypothetical set up explicitly to show an assumed relative worthlessness of the disabled and makes the assumption that we do not contribute.
Name a more iconic duo than reddit and bringing back 19th and 20th century views on the marginalised. The hypothetical is literally framed around useless eaters.
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Veggie_Deluxe [any, comrade/them] - 1mon
Reddit is fuckin trash-style garbage. additionally if you believed what they say about reality then ron paul would have been the president. Its also just riddled with bots these days, i'll read through comments and be upset by the comprehension on display until i realize there is no comprehension at all, just bots speaking past each other. Long story short reddit is full of dorks, robo-dweebs, and fascists.
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BountifulEggnog [she/her] - 1mon
Some of the replies are saying this is a reddit thing but I'm pretty sure most people would do the same. This is the dominant view in our society.
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 1mon
::: spoiler CW: discussion of ableist beliefs
Also bc of some very old belief that only "able-bodied" people can survive in harsh conditions. Like, that during an apocalyptic scenario straight out of Hollywood, people who are disabled would just die first, because they're sick. It's a very pervasive belief and it makes it sound like each disability is the same.
:::
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Self_Sealing_Stem_Bolt [he/him, they/them] - 1mon
They always do. Disabled are always the first to go. It happened under the nazis. Its happening in kanada with MAID.
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chgxvjh [he/him, comrade/them] - 1mon
Exile all the Redditors
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Keld [he/him, any] - 2mon
I avoided having to do a presentation in front of the class, but the instructor singled me out and said "He doesn't have to do the presentation because he has [mental illness]"
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I might cry.
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
Why would your professor say that out loud in class? That's so not okay, I'm so sorry sweetie
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Keld [he/him, any] - 2mon
I don't know. It was so humiliating and embarassing.
It's not evem that i mind people knowing, but i want to be the one to tell people you know?
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
I get it, and I fully agree with you. If anybody gets to share this, it's you.
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0x2640 - 2mon
its sad people collectively just decided to ignore that covid is still happening
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Keld [he/him, any] - 2mon
I have seen two masks since summer break, one on an asian foreign student and one on a manual worker doing some kind of road work, and that is literally it.
I have been on the lung department of a hospital, no masks.
10
gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
I'm not seeing masks either. One person on a train a while back, but other than that?
I've also noticed that the prices for masks have gone up again. Not only are they harder to find, they're also way more expensive than a year ago (at least where I live)
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Keld [he/him, any] - 2mon
Same here. I have said it before, but I genuinely would not know where to buy them in a store at this point.
They don't have them at the pharmacy, they don't have them at the little health shops that used to have them for ludicrous money during the period where people took covid seriously, they don't have them in groceries, they don't have them in uhhh I don't know what the english word for it is but those stores where they sell like tools, cleaning products, wires and other random stuff for the house.
Nothing.
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0x2640 - 2mon
respirators my beloved
most of them dont have exhaust filtration but like, take what ya can get
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HexaSnoot [none/use name] - 2mon
I recently had to ask a gynecologist to wash their hands, AND put gloves and a mask on. I couldn't believe they didn't do that automatically.
Should I complain to the hospital? Would there be a point even if the person talking to me cares because in the end the doctor is the one who makes the choice to ignore things? There's so many treatment resistant strains infecting hospital surfaces due to the staffing crisis in healthcare. Maybe I'm too nervous, but I feel I'm at enough risk of sickness just by walking in to be treated.
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Keld [he/him, any] - 2mon
I don't know where you live, and therefore have no knowledge of the mechanisms of complaint. But where I'm from you got as much as you are likely going to get by virtue of the doctor washing their hands after you said to.
Complaints about "minor" stuff like handwashing can trigger, if enough come in, department wide sanitation courses. But those are pretty infrequent.
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HexaSnoot [none/use name] - 2mon
I'm from the US.
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Keld [he/him, any] - 2mon
I am not, so sadly I can be of little help with the inner workings of the US healthcare system.
I think it's significantly easier to get a doctor in trouble in the US, but that is simply something I have heard and have no knowledge of.
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whogivesashit @lemmygrad.ml - 2mon
Been struggling to get my doctor to get me a prescription for a vaccine. Probably going to have to doctor shop unfortunately
4
0x2640 - 2mon
"have disabled people considered the first solution anyone would think of? and other unhelpful tips"
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Le_Wokisme [they/them, undecided] - 1mon
aw shit what if we tried not being disabled
2
Veggie_Deluxe [any, comrade/them] - 1mon
its funny how doctors will write up a report saying "patient denies homicidal thoughts" like they can see right through me and im putting up a weak defense
patient denies being a stupid lil gayboi who can't even do an ollie
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 1mon
I'm absolutely baffled at that statement. Why would the doctor think you have homicidal thoughts?
And you are not stupid, don't forget that
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katabat [she/her, they/them] - 1mon
homocidal thoughts towards iof soldiers.
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
I got good news from a doctor's appointment for a change! They can be nice, understanding, and take you seriously (apparently).
I once mentioned I had a hairloss problem. So he asked me a few questions concerning the symptoms I'm having and even asked if I felt stressed out. After giving him the full list of things that stress me out, he went over the blood work I had done and arrived at the conclusion that no, I'm not sick, but too stressed for my skin to function properly. I have a few prescriptions I can use now (without cortisol!) to treat the scalp itching as well as the hair loss, and if I have any more problems, he said I can check in any time. It's apparently a very common condition with a lot of stress, and he also said, and I quote "It's not your fault that you're stressed out by everything that's going on in your life."
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 2mon
Glad to hear you got some answers and it's not a terrible diagnosis. Hope you can get your stress levels down though.
Amazed to hear a doctor took someone seriously too. That must be a first for medical science. You'll be in the Guinness book of records.
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
That's the thing, he told me plain and simple that no matter what I do, this will come back once I'm stressed again, so it'll be a constant companion from now on. That isn't his fault, but he gave me enough stuff to take care of it so i don't lose any more hair over it lol. But reducing the stress level will probably only come about once I have a job and get rid of my chronic diseases, as they are the main facilitators of the skin condition.
Tbh I think it's just a matter of deciding to give a shit. He was completely stressed out too and he still made the time to chat with me about what stresses me out. I think he just got up and decided not to be a prick to his patients, which is rare.
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HexaSnoot [none/use name] - 2mon
I think he just got up and decided not to be a prick to his patients, which is rare.
Half of my doctor visits are ones where I'm treated completely kindly. It's not that rare for me. (Hmm, this makes me think there's people in similar conditions as me who are treated much better by their doctors.) If your primary doctor treats you poorly, maybe you could try switching to a new one. Y'know, since they're the ones who can take up a lot of your doctor visits.
Congrats on not having a worse diagnosis. Compared to some other things I love that you're much more okay! I really hope you can get rid of at least one or more chronic issues, and can make them all at least a little better.
In the meanwhile, please give yourself grace and decent rest. I have stress issues too and 10 seconds more of self-compassion each day is progress. I try to remember: Doing my best looks different each day.
5
gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
My primary doc is really nice, but I rarely need to see them as my chronic conditions always need a specialist (diabetes as well as celiac's disease). My endo is pretty decent and competent, however, she is legally forced to ask me certain things that I don't want (a pump and CGM), but that's hardly her fault. My other permanent doctors are either competent or competent and nice, and at this point I'd rather have a competent doctor than a nice one. I'm just always happy when I meet a new doc and they're nice on top of everything else.
My chronic issues will never go away, so there's that. But the unemployment could be fixed eventually. I will resign myself to unemployment for the foreseeable future tho. And I'm taking a lot of rest (and light exercise) but what can I say, it's stressful being alive these days, so no matter how chill I am, I can hardly relax properly.
Thank you for your kind words sweetie, I appreciate it
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 2mon
Sorry to hear that.
The human body is awful, giving us extra problems when we already have problems instead of making things easier.
3
gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
Thank you sweetie. I honestly think it's just another way of the body saying "I've had enough, please take a break." And you know, I actually agree for once.
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 2mon
Unfortunately the system humans have created doesn't allow anyone to take a real break.
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
Very true
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 2mon
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 2mon
I saw a quote about GP receptionists on youtube today: "Their commitment to being so aggressively unhelpful is impressive." So true, and I'd say it actually applies to the entire medical "profession", not just receptionists.
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Keld [he/him, any] - 2mon
I shuold defend my chosen profession, but really doctors deserve no grace on any issues.
If i may wax philosophical, beyond the fact that medical school does not sort for ethical concern or empathy, there is a problem with the roles of the physician.
A physician is supposed to have a set of defined roles, but in many systems doing austerity they've had the role of medical gatekeeper added to it. Which is a huge conflict of interest. A physician is supposed to be a zealous advocate for their patient the same way a lawyer is supposed to zealously advocate for their client, but we've also charged doctors with worrying about costs and preventing people from accessing "too much" care, resulting in a gigantic conflict of interest and only the representative of the medical system itself are the ones who can affect their careers.
The relationship between a physician and the accountant should be antagonistic. They have opposing interests. But we have mandated that physicians both play their role of patienr advocate and also make decisions based on matters that aren't patient wellbeing.
8
un_mask_me [any] - 2mon
Sorry if I missed anyone before I made the new thread, hope everyone is doing okay today
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Keld [he/him, any] - 2mon
I was reading on the bus and fidgetting with a piece of fabric. After a little bit it turned out to be someone's hijab i was messing with.
Shoot me. That poor woman. I was basically committing assault.
9
0x2640 - 2mon
oops
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IdealisticGrubb [she/her, comrade/them] - 1mon
Does anyone have any advice on how to convince my mother that I'm disabled?
::: spoiler Context tw ableism
I was born with ectrodactyly on both hands and feet. During youth my mom was supportive of me in the "If you try hard enough you can do anything" so of way and to her credit I was pretty athletics and was the goat (international awards and such). But i feel like my athletic prowess skewed her perception of my disability. Now in my twenties, these feet aint made to be stood on and I've been condition to assume constant chronic pain is normal. I've been using a cane that my grandfather carved for the last week and when my uncle came over yesterday I was telling him about how it has been extending my feet mileage. When my mother entered the conversation that only thing she had to note was that she thought it was a "fashion statement" and laughed :(
This isn't the first time either, I was talking to my father whos a doctor about wanting to get an ADA parking permit and she chimed in to say it would be selfishly taking away the spot from people who "really need it." At this point i don't know where to go with it.
:::
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 1mon
If you have a diagnosis or get disability benefits or anything, there's your proof.
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IdealisticGrubb [she/her, comrade/them] - 1mon
Like you'd assume so right
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TheSpectreOfGay [hy/hym, she/her] - 1mon
my mother is much the same, though in my case it's because i actively hid my disability from her more when i was younger. it seems to me that the fact im disabled hurts her sense of self image of being a good parent, or something like that. so it might be similar for u. i dont have any advice but that sucks comrade
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IdealisticGrubb [she/her, comrade/them] - 1mon
I definitely resonate with that. I feel like when i talk to her you can see the dissonance hitting her, its like she knows she cant deny it but there is something internally that is holding her back from admitting it and she isn't willing to let it go.
4
gingerbrat [she/her] - 1mon
Hey sweetheart, first of all I'm sorry you have to deal with your mother's behavior on top of the chronic pain. I think it's amazing how much you managed to accomplish in spite of it all, and I hope you can feel proud of yourself, for your accomplishments as well as you being you.
That said, I don't think there is a clear way of making your mother understand how you feel. There's a few things you can try. If your mom is inclined to listen to you, maybe try to tell her how you feel and how your disability affects you on an emotional level as well as a physical level. Make sure to not compare yourself to others, and stop her from comparing you to others. Say something like "This isn't about other people, this is about me, how I'm feeling and how I'm struggling." You need to be very patient but firm while you do it, which is always hard when you talk to a parent. I hope this way works out for you.
If your mother refuses to listen, however, I'd suggest getting that parking permit regardless of what she says. You're an adult, you have a right to ask for these things and to receive help, whether or not your mother agrees with it or not.
::: spoiler On a more lighthearted note to cheer you up
Having a cane is good if it helps you, but it's also a good opportunity to customize it and make it your own. Make it look unique to you, if you haven't done so already, and color it, give it some racing stripes or flames, whatever you like and makes you smile when you use it. It's your support, and I think it makes it easier to wear it with pride.
:::
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IdealisticGrubb [she/her, comrade/them] - 1mon
Thank you for your support and comment Luckily I do believe that she is willing to listen with time. In regards to you other note, I made sure to do some customizing and once I decided on using it more I wrapped it with faux leather to make its accents pop
3
gingerbrat [she/her] - 1mon
I hope it does help you
And it sounds lovely! Hope it brings you some joy alongside the help!
3
DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 2mon
I had my scan today. They found uterine fibroids. According to google, these can cause frequent urination and other bladder problems. It says the treatment is hormonal meds, with surgery to remove them as a last option. I don't want hormonal meds for many reasons, I just want to go straight to the surgery, but we all know what the NHS is like. I bet if they do anything about it at all, it will be just pumping me full of drugs with terrible side effects that don't even help.
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HexaSnoot [none/use name] - 2mon
I think this girl I used to talk to had uterine fibroids. I'm NOT a doctor and I can't say what you need, but if you ever start having endless periods I think they took Lupron to shrink the fribroids so there'd be less bleeding during surgery. I think she was able to keep her uterus. Idk if they all eventually cause bleeding, but if so, you're very lucky to have found them before the any bleeding.
Talk to your doctor about if this sounds right: Might as well start shrinking them now if it helps future surgery results.
Again, not a doctor, so I may be misleading you a bit. Just giving you ideas of things to ask questions about.
6
DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 2mon
My periods seem to have stopped altogether. Thanks for the tips but I won't take any more meds, especially hormonal ones.
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HexaSnoot [none/use name] - 2mon
I'm not sure if I'm relieved for you because I don't know if that's better or worse. You may have a whole other set of problems, but I'm happy you don't need regular blood transfusions like that girl did. She was dizzy and tired from losing a lot of blood and still had to work. Now the words "uterine fibroids" scare me and make me fear for whoever has them. I dearly hope you're in a more ideal situation than what she was in.
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 2mon
Thanks. I have no idea whether these fibroids are causing my problems or not, and I don't know if my periods seem to have have stopped now due to my age or something else, but I can't take more meds. I already have far too many side effects from all the meds I'm on already and hormonal meds could really harm me as I've had a stroke already (which was a side effect of my thyroid meds). I'm drugged up to the eyeballs and can't take any more. I just want it cut out if it's what's causing my problems.
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HexaSnoot [none/use name] - 2mon
Side effects suck. You know your body and I understand not wanting to be chock full of meds.
3
un_mask_me [any] - 2mon
no spoons
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Keld [he/him, any] - 2mon
::: spoiler Only click if you're okay with joking about the subject
WAIT. I can help
:::
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un_mask_me [any] - 2mon
::: spoiler heh omg thank you
:::
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Keld [he/him, any] - 2mon
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
4
un_mask_me [any] - 2mon
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Keld [he/him, any] - 2mon
Worst haul at the food bank yet.
Since i didnt take the milk, the cream and the mayonaise i got:
Frozen bread rolls, pears (5), a baguette and a bag of chopped lettuce.
I shouldn't complain since it's free food and the people who gather amd distribute this food are doing me a huge kindness, but this is not going to sustain me for a week.
Edit: correction: i got a bag of chopped lettuce and a bag of unchopped lettuce.
I also got a bell pepper
9
DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 2mon
Before mutual aid, when I had to use the food bank, a typical package was just 90% drinks and things to go with the drinks. It would be a box of teabags, a jar of coffee, a bottle of milk, a bag of sugar, some cookies and then either a small bag of pasta or a mini loaf of bread as the actual food. And then we have to listen to society tell us how easy it is, how much help there is available.
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Keld [he/him, any] - 2mon
Oof, that's shit.
I will say that while the quality varies, this is by far the worst haul I've had.
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 2mon
There's been a lot of stuff in the news lately about how food bank parcels are getting worse because they're running out of resources and more people need them.
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Keld [he/him, any] - 2mon
That would suck enormously. I'm gonna choose to hope that it's just one shitty haul.
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
For anyone who has read other posts on this site today or yesterday and is mentally out of spoons, I'm leaving a big hug
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0x2640 - 2mon
oh no what happened this time
5
gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
I don't want to drag it all here to our safe space, so I'll say there was/is a new struggle session. I don't recommend checking it out, but if you want to, look into the Code of Conduct post that's pinned.
5
0x2640 - 2mon
oh
oh
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
I'm sorry pup
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mononoke @lemmy.sdf.org - 2mon
I am morbidly curious as someone who hangs out on the periphery—Hexbear is one of the most active instances that aligns with me, usually—but I don't think I'm able to see it as a non-Hexbear user. I'm not surprised at all.
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TheSpectreOfGay [hy/hym, she/her] - 1mon
i really do just be lurking the disabled thread nowadays
3
un_mask_me [any] - 2mon
2
Keld [he/him, any] - 2mon
I'm not saying that professors can't vape, but it's so weird to do it during a lecture on lung stuff.
Edit: If you ask ypurself a question and say "That's a great question" more than twice in 10 minutes ypu're going to hell.
8
DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 2mon
My GP got the report from the hospital who did the scan. So I have more details about the issue now. Apparently my womb is enlarged (due to the fibroids, I guess?) and is pressing against my bladder. This may be what's causing the bladder issues. She's going to refer me to the gynaecologist. She said they'll probably do further checks to check it really is the womb causing the bladder issues, but if it is then I know 100% I want a hysterectomy. I don't want drugs and side effects and waiting to see if anything works, I want it gone. I know usually they try and save parts like the womb and force people to try other things first but I'm hoping that since I'm in my 40s, my periods have mostly stopped and I was never going to have kids anyway, they might agree. I just want it over. Who knows how long it will take to see the gynaecologist on the NHS though.
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
That's actually very promising - as horrifying as the ordeal leading here was, I'm glad you finally know more. Given the size description (I have a family member with a similar history), I sincerely hope you won't have much trouble getting the hysterectomy approved. Age wise alone you should qualify without much issue. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you, sweetheart, and I hope you'll get relief from your pain soon, though I know it won't be tomorrow.
3
DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 2mon
Thank you.
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un_mask_me [any] - 2mon
I'm trying to catch up, but I really hope you can it removed, comrade, and that you can get some relief soon. It's good to have some answers, I suppose, at least there's a better plan of action for it. How has the therapy on your ankle been going?
2
DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 2mon
It seemed to be working, I got some improvement but now it's flared up again.
I'm resigned to my mobility issues being basically permanent now. I still have some shockwave therapy sessions coming up though.
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un_mask_me [any] - 2mon
Ah dang, I hope the flare up is temporary and the improvements are more permanent. Is that something they'd do long-term, like after the continuous sessions having a session every few months or something?
2
DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 1mon
No, I've had three sessions this month on my achilles, then next month three on the soles of my feet, basically my entire left side is destroyed because of the stroke and I have multiple long-term/permanent injuries all down my left side so they're spreading the shockwave therapy around, three sessions on each of the worst bits. They said if it doesn't work, or doesn't have lasting effects, then there is no point doing more.
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un_mask_me [any] - 1mon
Ah, I understand. Appreciate you sharing. Hope you're hanging in there okay.
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DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 1mon
I just feel the same as usual really, hopeless but hanging on. If I can get the womb/bladder issue fixed it would at least make me a bit more comfortable and less tired if I can finally sleep through the night instead of getting up 7 times a night to wee. But now my achilles is flaring up again I'm worried about how that will be, will I end up basically imobile and housebound like before? My tingling/pins and needles is still an issue that I'm very concerned about, but I'm on the waiting list for the neurologist. My usual neurologist won't deal with that as she only does headaches/migraines and I still have all my usual problems like thyroxine side effects, staying fed, worrying about my disability benefit success, etc. I've also had a non stop migraine for several days now, I've been taking my migraine meds that make it die down a bit but then it just keeps coming back.
So that was a long whinge, I know. It just feels like life is endless challenges and worries with no respite or enjoyment.
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un_mask_me [any] - 1mon
Don't worry about sharing, comrade, it's a lot to manage and deal with on a daily basis. I appreciate your openness to chat and hope I'm not making it harder or anything. I wish there were options for lightening your pain and burdens, even if just for a short while. Sending hugs if wanted.
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Keld [he/him, any] - 2mon
If you see a person dressed like a doctor at my campus, that's a trap otherwise known as a dentist student.
They are literally the only ones who wear a labcoat outside of the labs.
They roam the halls in packs looking like doctors.
They go to lectures in labcoats, they eat in labcoats, they go to the study hall in labcoats.
It totally defeats the point of labcoats! If they go somewhere they're supposed to wear a labcoat wearing that they'll either bring something in or carry something out!
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Veggie_Deluxe [any, comrade/them] - 1mon
So I'm having a hard time dealing with my anger. The choice to not fund snap is just evil, no two ways about it. This is going to be awful and i am just furious. its not like spilling into my life or directed towards innocents, but its just roiling inside me. Pure venom.
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 1mon
::: spoiler Bit of a rant about buying glasses and the liberal conscious misunderstanding of gender
I have been confronted with the most absurd thing today: Gendered glasses. You know, I already thought the kinder surprise egg in a "girl" and "boy" edition was strange, bc some cashiers wouldn't sell boys the pink ones or girls the blue ones, but now I was told while looking for new glasses that I should look at the "female collection". I'm afab, I present as a woman, but I still felt fucking insulted when the salesperson told me so. I wish people would put effort in being accommodating and more open to people's genders, but instead, they just coat things in archaic binary gender colors and just direct you towards "what you look like". I don't know, maybe I'm just overreacting, but it felt demeaning. When I was younger, there weren't even gendered sections in the stores for glasses.
:::
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Veggie_Deluxe [any, comrade/them] - 1mon
its so silly, they are shaped bits of plastic and little screws. The fascination with gendering objects in society always confuses me
6
gingerbrat [she/her] - 1mon
Exactly! And this preoccupation with assigning colors to genders is something I've disliked ever since I was a kid, urgh. The most frustrating thing really is that glasses are a medical aid, and apart from being ridiculously expensive, now I also have to put up with this.
Thank you for your reply, I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way
4
TheSpectreOfGay [hy/hym, she/her] - 1mon
the men's glasses are usually cheaper and more sturdy (at least where i go) so its another example of pink tax as well
4
gingerbrat [she/her] - 1mon
More sturdy is definitely true here too, but unfortunately they're not all cheaper. Still need to find the right one. Hope I can find a better store in the near future, don't think I'll return to this one.
3
TheSpectreOfGay [hy/hym, she/her] - 1mon
aw man
i think it's because at the place in the mall i go to, 90% of the women's glasses are like, designer brands, and then 10% is the "budget" section, whereas for the men's section the budget section is 50% of it, so i think i have confirmation bias here
2
roux [they/them, xe/xem] - 2mon
Found out last weekend that this girl I'm into is a matriarchist. Like we've talked a bit about Marxism and she even said she is a Marxist and then drops this weird reverse classism nonsense. I sort of thought she was joking at first but then went on to say she thinks women should rule over all others. I wonder if there is some past trauma that causes her to think this. I was gonna try to get her onboarded with the PSL but I'm hesitant now. I wonder if I should talk more about it with her.
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
Talking about it with her sounds like a good idea for the start. Starting the PSL stuff might just be a bit early, and maybe she can explain more why she believes what she believes.
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Beetle [hy/hym] - 2mon
It’s common to center your worldview around the oppression you personally face. Oppression often causes trauma and if the trauma’s don’t get addressed properly then they can influence every part of your life, including your worldview. Some people are really stubborn in this belief, others are easily convinced otherwise. Especially in white feminist groups this view is very common so being confronted with a different class based perspective could just be enough for her to notice her own blind spots.
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roux [they/them, xe/xem] - 2mon
We talked a bit previously and she did say she is voluntarily selebate so I wonder if the 2 are related. I don't wanna pry though and will let her talk about it if she wants to. I may sprinkle in a bit of class consciousness here and there but I don't want to turn her off from Marxism altogether since she's already pushing left as it is.
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Keld [he/him, any] - 1mon
Tiny child on the bus chanting "More more more snacks" I am with you, your cause is just, rise up against the parentgeoisie
7
gingerbrat [she/her] - 1mon
The older I get the more I realize how right kids are - sometimes, other times they shovel dirt in their mouth and put glue in their hair
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Keld [he/him, any] - 1mon
I am reminded of the author of Where the Wild Things are, who commented on the fact that the greatest compliment he ever received on his work was the time that a small child ate a drawing of his. "He saw it, he loved it, he ate it". There was no thought to the value of an original drawing by a famous illustrator, no thought to anything but the fact that he liked it so much he wanted to consume it.
5
gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
New mega
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un_mask_me [any] - 2mon
Writing out the title dates made me realize October is almost gone
7
gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
It's getting late in October, yes, but that also means now we have a good excuse to stay indoors and cuddle up beneath piles of blankets
9
roux [they/them, xe/xem] - 2mon
This is the way.
8
razgriz [none/use name] - 2mon
::: spoiler CW distress, looking for bipolar advice
Looking for help, how do I ground myself and make it through a bipolar episode (mixed state)? I feel like I'm destroying my life and don't want to make it any worse
:::
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BountifulEggnog [she/her] - 1mon
I absolutely fucking hate the type of person who just says their thing and then rejects anything you have to say. Its a bit hard to explain the situation at work today without giving away my job but essentially this person made a comparison that is not applicable to our situation at all. She does this kind of thing all the time. But any time I try to explain my position to her, or why I want to do certain things, she cuts me off and throws her hands up and says "you do whatever you want to do, I'm just saying". I'm not arguing, I'm not being disrespectful. Despite my autism I have no problem with this with like 90% of people. She just doesn't want to listen to me at all.
Worse is she's one of the only queer people at work :/
6
gingerbrat [she/her] - 1mon
There might just be some history on her side too that makes her act like this. That still isn't an excuse to be this uncooperative. Do you have any other colleagues that could support you in these arguments?
4
TheSpectreOfGay [hy/hym, she/her] - 1mon
o god o fuck i dropped all my spoons
6
gingerbrat [she/her] - 1mon
Nooooo
3
gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
I'm having a blues-y kind of day. Can I have a hug?
5
HexaSnoot [none/use name] - 2mon
5
gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
5
Keld [he/him, any] - 2mon
4
gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
4
un_mask_me [any] - 2mon
Hope this week treats everyone a little better than the last.
5
gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
You too, sweetie
3
Keld [he/him, any] - 1mon
I've gotten used to my neighbors screams. I am remarking on this only because she just did a big one and I heard someone outside yell in surprise.
I yelled "She just does that, don't worry" which i hope they heard.
5
DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 1mon
I thought my periods had totally stopped. Haven't had one in months but today one started again. Guess I haven't gone through the menopause then. Still want a hysterectomy though.
5
gingerbrat [she/her] - 1mon
The hysterectomy will definitely help with a lot of the fibroid related issues, and on top of that with your irregular periods. I hope the doctors help you out
4
DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 1mon
Thank you.
I'm just worried if they know I still have the occasional half-hearted period they might be less likely to do a hysterectomy. I've read so many stories about women being forced to live with terrible womb-related issues because doctors are more concerned with preserving female fertility than improving female quality of life.
4
gingerbrat [she/her] - 1mon
I love you, sweetie, and you deserve so much better than all of this
What I do know (only from experience, can't point to any studies or medical reports) is that fibroids can and do cause infertility. Arguing that you have those combined with a lot of hormonal issues because of your thyroid history might actually be argument enough to get the hysterectomy approved. You may have to be very adamant to get this solution, but I believe in you.
3
DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 1mon
Thanks, love you too.
I will definitely try, no idea how long until I get an appointment though.
3
gingerbrat [she/her] - 1mon
I keep my fingers crossed that it won't take too long
3
Keld [he/him, any] - 2mon
Does dipping bread in daal count as a sandwich?
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gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
No but I'd say it's still a meal
4
Keld [he/him, any] - 2mon
Darn. I have no more toppings, it's food bank day today.
4
la_tasalana_intissari_mata [comrade/them] - 1mon
only permitted to be a victim
5
gingerbrat [she/her] - 1mon
I understand that feeling, but remember that you are so much more than that. Don't let anybody tell you what you're permitted to be
5
Veggie_Deluxe [any, comrade/them] - 2mon
Pain is immense, birthday is trash, depression is calling me towards the void. but im still rollin katamaris and listening to old cumtown episodes pretending its the past, which was still awful but i thought i might be fixable. Anyone have any tips for pushing through anhedonia and doing things when executive function is gone completely?
5
DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 2mon
I just do what you do, listen to/watch old stuff and pretend it's the past.
6
gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
I wish I could help you, love, but I want you to know you're not alone with that feeling. Usually, I revert to listening to old music or watch old movies and shows that used to make me feel comfortable, it's the only way I can get through these feelings. You're doing everything you can, sweetheart
5
Veggie_Deluxe [any, comrade/them] - 2mon
thank you, honestly. I shame myself when i feel regressive like this and it just compounds things.
5
gingerbrat [she/her] - 2mon
I understand where that's coming from, and it gets harder every time. But just trying to look for a way through it already makes you so strong. You're persevering, and you keep on doing so <3
5
Keld [he/him, any] - 1mon
One of the benefits of skipping twink status and just going straight to bear is that nobody questions when I go steal food from university events.
They side eye a lot of other students walking by, but i just walk up and steal bananas and nobody bats an eye. Yeah I'm gonna have two bottles of water too. Sure.
Thanks for the offer of the croissants you just shooed another student away from hut .
5
un_mask_me [any] - 1mon
Damn, now I want a vegan croissant
3
DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them] - 1mon
Hope you get one.
3
gingerbrat [she/her] - 1mon
Sign me up too please!
2
Veggie_Deluxe [any, comrade/them] - 1mon
The Outer Worlds 2 has some of the best looking prosthetic options ive ever seen in a game. I Love that sci-fi Art Nouveau style
4
Beetle [hy/hym] - 1mon
Took me 7 hours to deep clean the floor today because I had to take many breaks but I still did it :)
4
un_mask_me [any] - 1mon
Nice! Cleaning is such an energy-intensive task, but it can be very rewarding.
3
Veggie_Deluxe [any, comrade/them] - 2mon
I really feel like i am in hell, or trapped in some kind of dark mirror that innocent youths gaze into to see the depths of misery that await the vile sinner. New Katamari is p good tho
un_mask_me in disabled
Disabled Community Megathread from October 20th, 2025 to November 2nd, 2025
May you find time this week to heal, to feel, to breathe, and to rest.
Friendly reminder to please use ::: spoiler spoiler tags and content warnings [cw] Hexbear CoC ::: for sensitive content that falls under Hexbear's Code of Conduct.
As always, we ask that in order to participate in the weekly megathread, one self-identifies as some form of disabled, which is broadly defined in the community sidebar:
Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.
there is no such thing as "not disabled enough" to use a disability aid
if a cane/wheelchair/whatever will help you then you can just get one, acab includes the cop in your head
Legitimately sucks a lot at work. There's a lot of people who would absolutely be safer if we assisted them but they don't want us to. I understand wanting your autonomy etc but at least one of these people was told by a doctor we need to help them and they still refuse. Obviously your choice but I don't mind helping and don't want to see you get hurt.
Back when I thought I just had depression and anxiety I thought maybe someday I'd be "better", or at least better enough that I'd be able to do more normal stuff.
Now that I know that those are just side effects and I'm dealing with BPD, cptsd, and autism there's not really any hope anymore.
literally me if you swap out the BPD for DID. yea i have those feelings really often too, really frustrated that i can't really even leave the house
for me what helped the most was radical acceptance that it's actually okay to not be able to do normal stuff and just relax all day, but it took a very very long time to get there
Those are some heavy things to manage and work through, especially day-to-day. I hope you can still experience some of the things you want in the future, even if they come about a bit differently than you'd imagined.
Not BPD/cpstd (well maybe on that last one) but yea same.
CW ableism
::: spoiler spoiler Today on reddit someone said "After a nuclear war you and the rest of the survivors are running out of food due to a low yield harvest. One person suggests exile all disabled people to the cold wastes to die, another suggests abortion of current pregnant mothers. Other choices are a lottery to decide who dies, or do nothing. What would you rather do?"
They overwhelmingly voted to exile all the disabled people to die. :::
While I absolutely share your frustration and am glad you shared this post, I wanted to ask you to put a CW for ableism in your post as this is some very dark stuff and it should be marked accordingly.
Edit: Thank you!
I mean obviously. It is a hypothetical set up explicitly to show an assumed relative worthlessness of the disabled and makes the assumption that we do not contribute.
Name a more iconic duo than reddit and bringing back 19th and 20th century views on the marginalised. The hypothetical is literally framed around useless eaters.
Reddit is fuckin trash-style garbage. additionally if you believed what they say about reality then ron paul would have been the president. Its also just riddled with bots these days, i'll read through comments and be upset by the comprehension on display until i realize there is no comprehension at all, just bots speaking past each other. Long story short reddit is full of dorks, robo-dweebs, and fascists.
Some of the replies are saying this is a reddit thing but I'm pretty sure most people would do the same. This is the dominant view in our society.
::: spoiler CW: discussion of ableist beliefs Also bc of some very old belief that only "able-bodied" people can survive in harsh conditions. Like, that during an apocalyptic scenario straight out of Hollywood, people who are disabled would just die first, because they're sick. It's a very pervasive belief and it makes it sound like each disability is the same. :::
They always do. Disabled are always the first to go. It happened under the nazis. Its happening in kanada with MAID.
Exile all the Redditors
I might cry.
Why would your professor say that out loud in class? That's so not okay, I'm so sorry sweetie
I don't know. It was so humiliating and embarassing. It's not evem that i mind people knowing, but i want to be the one to tell people you know?
I get it, and I fully agree with you. If anybody gets to share this, it's you.
its sad people collectively just decided to ignore that covid is still happening
I have seen two masks since summer break, one on an asian foreign student and one on a manual worker doing some kind of road work, and that is literally it. I have been on the lung department of a hospital, no masks.
I'm not seeing masks either. One person on a train a while back, but other than that?
I've also noticed that the prices for masks have gone up again. Not only are they harder to find, they're also way more expensive than a year ago (at least where I live)
Same here. I have said it before, but I genuinely would not know where to buy them in a store at this point. They don't have them at the pharmacy, they don't have them at the little health shops that used to have them for ludicrous money during the period where people took covid seriously, they don't have them in groceries, they don't have them in uhhh I don't know what the english word for it is but those stores where they sell like tools, cleaning products, wires and other random stuff for the house. Nothing.
respirators my beloved
most of them dont have exhaust filtration but like, take what ya can get
I recently had to ask a gynecologist to wash their hands, AND put gloves and a mask on. I couldn't believe they didn't do that automatically.
Should I complain to the hospital? Would there be a point even if the person talking to me cares because in the end the doctor is the one who makes the choice to ignore things? There's so many treatment resistant strains infecting hospital surfaces due to the staffing crisis in healthcare. Maybe I'm too nervous, but I feel I'm at enough risk of sickness just by walking in to be treated.
I don't know where you live, and therefore have no knowledge of the mechanisms of complaint. But where I'm from you got as much as you are likely going to get by virtue of the doctor washing their hands after you said to. Complaints about "minor" stuff like handwashing can trigger, if enough come in, department wide sanitation courses. But those are pretty infrequent.
I'm from the US.
I am not, so sadly I can be of little help with the inner workings of the US healthcare system. I think it's significantly easier to get a doctor in trouble in the US, but that is simply something I have heard and have no knowledge of.
Been struggling to get my doctor to get me a prescription for a vaccine. Probably going to have to doctor shop unfortunately
"have disabled people considered the first solution anyone would think of? and other unhelpful tips"
aw shit what if we tried not being disabled
its funny how doctors will write up a report saying "patient denies homicidal thoughts" like they can see right through me and im putting up a weak defense
patient denies being a stupid lil gayboi who can't even do an ollie
I'm absolutely baffled at that statement. Why would the doctor think you have homicidal thoughts?
And you are not stupid, don't forget that
homocidal thoughts towards iof soldiers.
I got good news from a doctor's appointment for a change! They can be nice, understanding, and take you seriously (apparently).
I once mentioned I had a hairloss problem. So he asked me a few questions concerning the symptoms I'm having and even asked if I felt stressed out. After giving him the full list of things that stress me out, he went over the blood work I had done and arrived at the conclusion that no, I'm not sick, but too stressed for my skin to function properly. I have a few prescriptions I can use now (without cortisol!) to treat the scalp itching as well as the hair loss, and if I have any more problems, he said I can check in any time. It's apparently a very common condition with a lot of stress, and he also said, and I quote "It's not your fault that you're stressed out by everything that's going on in your life."
Glad to hear you got some answers and it's not a terrible diagnosis. Hope you can get your stress levels down though.
Amazed to hear a doctor took someone seriously too. That must be a first for medical science. You'll be in the Guinness book of records.
That's the thing, he told me plain and simple that no matter what I do, this will come back once I'm stressed again, so it'll be a constant companion from now on. That isn't his fault, but he gave me enough stuff to take care of it so i don't lose any more hair over it lol. But reducing the stress level will probably only come about once I have a job and get rid of my chronic diseases, as they are the main facilitators of the skin condition.
Tbh I think it's just a matter of deciding to give a shit. He was completely stressed out too and he still made the time to chat with me about what stresses me out. I think he just got up and decided not to be a prick to his patients, which is rare.
Half of my doctor visits are ones where I'm treated completely kindly. It's not that rare for me. (Hmm, this makes me think there's people in similar conditions as me who are treated much better by their doctors.) If your primary doctor treats you poorly, maybe you could try switching to a new one. Y'know, since they're the ones who can take up a lot of your doctor visits.
Congrats on not having a worse diagnosis. Compared to some other things I love that you're much more okay! I really hope you can get rid of at least one or more chronic issues, and can make them all at least a little better.
In the meanwhile, please give yourself grace and decent rest. I have stress issues too and 10 seconds more of self-compassion each day is progress. I try to remember: Doing my best looks different each day.
My primary doc is really nice, but I rarely need to see them as my chronic conditions always need a specialist (diabetes as well as celiac's disease). My endo is pretty decent and competent, however, she is legally forced to ask me certain things that I don't want (a pump and CGM), but that's hardly her fault. My other permanent doctors are either competent or competent and nice, and at this point I'd rather have a competent doctor than a nice one. I'm just always happy when I meet a new doc and they're nice on top of everything else.
My chronic issues will never go away, so there's that. But the unemployment could be fixed eventually. I will resign myself to unemployment for the foreseeable future tho. And I'm taking a lot of rest (and light exercise) but what can I say, it's stressful being alive these days, so no matter how chill I am, I can hardly relax properly.
Thank you for your kind words sweetie, I appreciate it
Sorry to hear that.
The human body is awful, giving us extra problems when we already have problems instead of making things easier.
Thank you sweetie. I honestly think it's just another way of the body saying "I've had enough, please take a break." And you know, I actually agree for once.
Unfortunately the system humans have created doesn't allow anyone to take a real break.
Very true
I saw a quote about GP receptionists on youtube today: "Their commitment to being so aggressively unhelpful is impressive." So true, and I'd say it actually applies to the entire medical "profession", not just receptionists.
I shuold defend my chosen profession, but really doctors deserve no grace on any issues.
If i may wax philosophical, beyond the fact that medical school does not sort for ethical concern or empathy, there is a problem with the roles of the physician. A physician is supposed to have a set of defined roles, but in many systems doing austerity they've had the role of medical gatekeeper added to it. Which is a huge conflict of interest. A physician is supposed to be a zealous advocate for their patient the same way a lawyer is supposed to zealously advocate for their client, but we've also charged doctors with worrying about costs and preventing people from accessing "too much" care, resulting in a gigantic conflict of interest and only the representative of the medical system itself are the ones who can affect their careers.
The relationship between a physician and the accountant should be antagonistic. They have opposing interests. But we have mandated that physicians both play their role of patienr advocate and also make decisions based on matters that aren't patient wellbeing.
Sorry if I missed anyone before I made the new thread, hope everyone is doing okay today
I was reading on the bus and fidgetting with a piece of fabric. After a little bit it turned out to be someone's hijab i was messing with. Shoot me. That poor woman. I was basically committing assault.
oops
Does anyone have any advice on how to convince my mother that I'm disabled? ::: spoiler Context tw ableism I was born with ectrodactyly on both hands and feet. During youth my mom was supportive of me in the "If you try hard enough you can do anything" so of way and to her credit I was pretty athletics and was the goat (international awards and such). But i feel like my athletic prowess skewed her perception of my disability. Now in my twenties, these feet aint made to be stood on and I've been condition to assume constant chronic pain is normal. I've been using a cane that my grandfather carved for the last week and when my uncle came over yesterday I was telling him about how it has been extending my feet mileage. When my mother entered the conversation that only thing she had to note was that she thought it was a "fashion statement" and laughed :(
This isn't the first time either, I was talking to my father whos a doctor about wanting to get an ADA parking permit and she chimed in to say it would be selfishly taking away the spot from people who "really need it." At this point i don't know where to go with it. :::
If you have a diagnosis or get disability benefits or anything, there's your proof.
Like you'd assume so right
my mother is much the same, though in my case it's because i actively hid my disability from her more when i was younger. it seems to me that the fact im disabled hurts her sense of self image of being a good parent, or something like that. so it might be similar for u. i dont have any advice but that sucks comrade
Hey sweetheart, first of all I'm sorry you have to deal with your mother's behavior on top of the chronic pain. I think it's amazing how much you managed to accomplish in spite of it all, and I hope you can feel proud of yourself, for your accomplishments as well as you being you.
That said, I don't think there is a clear way of making your mother understand how you feel. There's a few things you can try. If your mom is inclined to listen to you, maybe try to tell her how you feel and how your disability affects you on an emotional level as well as a physical level. Make sure to not compare yourself to others, and stop her from comparing you to others. Say something like "This isn't about other people, this is about me, how I'm feeling and how I'm struggling." You need to be very patient but firm while you do it, which is always hard when you talk to a parent. I hope this way works out for you.
If your mother refuses to listen, however, I'd suggest getting that parking permit regardless of what she says. You're an adult, you have a right to ask for these things and to receive help, whether or not your mother agrees with it or not.
::: spoiler On a more lighthearted note to cheer you up Having a cane is good if it helps you, but it's also a good opportunity to customize it and make it your own. Make it look unique to you, if you haven't done so already, and color it, give it some racing stripes or flames, whatever you like and makes you smile when you use it. It's your support, and I think it makes it easier to wear it with pride.
:::
Thank you for your support and comment
Luckily I do believe that she is willing to listen with time. In regards to you other note, I made sure to do some customizing and once I decided on using it more I wrapped it with faux leather to make its accents pop 
I hope it does help you
And it sounds lovely! Hope it brings you some joy alongside the help!
I had my scan today. They found uterine fibroids. According to google, these can cause frequent urination and other bladder problems. It says the treatment is hormonal meds, with surgery to remove them as a last option. I don't want hormonal meds for many reasons, I just want to go straight to the surgery, but we all know what the NHS is like. I bet if they do anything about it at all, it will be just pumping me full of drugs with terrible side effects that don't even help.
I think this girl I used to talk to had uterine fibroids. I'm NOT a doctor and I can't say what you need, but if you ever start having endless periods I think they took Lupron to shrink the fribroids so there'd be less bleeding during surgery. I think she was able to keep her uterus. Idk if they all eventually cause bleeding, but if so, you're very lucky to have found them before the any bleeding.
Talk to your doctor about if this sounds right: Might as well start shrinking them now if it helps future surgery results.
Again, not a doctor, so I may be misleading you a bit. Just giving you ideas of things to ask questions about.
My periods seem to have stopped altogether. Thanks for the tips but I won't take any more meds, especially hormonal ones.
I'm not sure if I'm relieved for you because I don't know if that's better or worse. You may have a whole other set of problems, but I'm happy you don't need regular blood transfusions like that girl did. She was dizzy and tired from losing a lot of blood and still had to work. Now the words "uterine fibroids" scare me and make me fear for whoever has them. I dearly hope you're in a more ideal situation than what she was in.
Thanks. I have no idea whether these fibroids are causing my problems or not, and I don't know if my periods seem to have have stopped now due to my age or something else, but I can't take more meds. I already have far too many side effects from all the meds I'm on already and hormonal meds could really harm me as I've had a stroke already (which was a side effect of my thyroid meds). I'm drugged up to the eyeballs and can't take any more. I just want it cut out if it's what's causing my problems.
Side effects suck. You know your body and I understand not wanting to be chock full of meds.
no spoons
::: spoiler Only click if you're okay with joking about the subject WAIT. I can help
:::
Worst haul at the food bank yet. Since i didnt take the milk, the cream and the mayonaise i got:
Frozen bread rolls, pears (5), a baguette and a bag of chopped lettuce. I shouldn't complain since it's free food and the people who gather amd distribute this food are doing me a huge kindness, but this is not going to sustain me for a week.
Edit: correction: i got a bag of chopped lettuce and a bag of unchopped lettuce. I also got a bell pepper
Before mutual aid, when I had to use the food bank, a typical package was just 90% drinks and things to go with the drinks. It would be a box of teabags, a jar of coffee, a bottle of milk, a bag of sugar, some cookies and then either a small bag of pasta or a mini loaf of bread as the actual food. And then we have to listen to society tell us how easy it is, how much help there is available.
Oof, that's shit. I will say that while the quality varies, this is by far the worst haul I've had.
There's been a lot of stuff in the news lately about how food bank parcels are getting worse because they're running out of resources and more people need them.
That would suck enormously. I'm gonna choose to hope that it's just one shitty haul.
For anyone who has read other posts on this site today or yesterday and is mentally out of spoons, I'm leaving a big hug
oh no what happened this time
I don't want to drag it all here to our safe space, so I'll say there was/is a new struggle session. I don't recommend checking it out, but if you want to, look into the Code of Conduct post that's pinned.
oh
oh
I'm sorry pup
I am morbidly curious as someone who hangs out on the periphery—Hexbear is one of the most active instances that aligns with me, usually—but I don't think I'm able to see it as a non-Hexbear user. I'm not surprised at all.
i really do just be lurking the disabled thread nowadays
I'm not saying that professors can't vape, but it's so weird to do it during a lecture on lung stuff.
Edit: If you ask ypurself a question and say "That's a great question" more than twice in 10 minutes ypu're going to hell.
My GP got the report from the hospital who did the scan. So I have more details about the issue now. Apparently my womb is enlarged (due to the fibroids, I guess?) and is pressing against my bladder. This may be what's causing the bladder issues. She's going to refer me to the gynaecologist. She said they'll probably do further checks to check it really is the womb causing the bladder issues, but if it is then I know 100% I want a hysterectomy. I don't want drugs and side effects and waiting to see if anything works, I want it gone. I know usually they try and save parts like the womb and force people to try other things first but I'm hoping that since I'm in my 40s, my periods have mostly stopped and I was never going to have kids anyway, they might agree. I just want it over. Who knows how long it will take to see the gynaecologist on the NHS though.
That's actually very promising - as horrifying as the ordeal leading here was, I'm glad you finally know more. Given the size description (I have a family member with a similar history), I sincerely hope you won't have much trouble getting the hysterectomy approved. Age wise alone you should qualify without much issue. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you, sweetheart, and I hope you'll get relief from your pain soon, though I know it won't be tomorrow.
Thank you.
I'm trying to catch up, but I really hope you can it removed, comrade, and that you can get some relief soon. It's good to have some answers, I suppose, at least there's a better plan of action for it. How has the therapy on your ankle been going?
It seemed to be working, I got some improvement but now it's flared up again.
I'm resigned to my mobility issues being basically permanent now. I still have some shockwave therapy sessions coming up though.
No, I've had three sessions this month on my achilles, then next month three on the soles of my feet, basically my entire left side is destroyed because of the stroke and I have multiple long-term/permanent injuries all down my left side so they're spreading the shockwave therapy around, three sessions on each of the worst bits. They said if it doesn't work, or doesn't have lasting effects, then there is no point doing more.
Ah, I understand. Appreciate you sharing. Hope you're hanging in there okay.
I just feel the same as usual really, hopeless but hanging on. If I can get the womb/bladder issue fixed it would at least make me a bit more comfortable and less tired if I can finally sleep through the night instead of getting up 7 times a night to wee. But now my achilles is flaring up again I'm worried about how that will be, will I end up basically imobile and housebound like before? My tingling/pins and needles is still an issue that I'm very concerned about, but I'm on the waiting list for the neurologist. My usual neurologist won't deal with that as she only does headaches/migraines and I still have all my usual problems like thyroxine side effects, staying fed, worrying about my disability benefit success, etc. I've also had a non stop migraine for several days now, I've been taking my migraine meds that make it die down a bit but then it just keeps coming back.
So that was a long whinge, I know. It just feels like life is endless challenges and worries with no respite or enjoyment.
Don't worry about sharing, comrade, it's a lot to manage and deal with on a daily basis. I appreciate your openness to chat and hope I'm not making it harder or anything. I wish there were options for lightening your pain and burdens, even if just for a short while. Sending hugs if wanted.
If you see a person dressed like a doctor at my campus, that's a trap otherwise known as a dentist student. They are literally the only ones who wear a labcoat outside of the labs. They roam the halls in packs looking like doctors. They go to lectures in labcoats, they eat in labcoats, they go to the study hall in labcoats. It totally defeats the point of labcoats! If they go somewhere they're supposed to wear a labcoat wearing that they'll either bring something in or carry something out!
So I'm having a hard time dealing with my anger. The choice to not fund snap is just evil, no two ways about it. This is going to be awful and i am just furious. its not like spilling into my life or directed towards innocents, but its just roiling inside me. Pure venom.
::: spoiler Bit of a rant about buying glasses and the liberal conscious misunderstanding of gender I have been confronted with the most absurd thing today: Gendered glasses. You know, I already thought the kinder surprise egg in a "girl" and "boy" edition was strange, bc some cashiers wouldn't sell boys the pink ones or girls the blue ones, but now I was told while looking for new glasses that I should look at the "female collection". I'm afab, I present as a woman, but I still felt fucking insulted when the salesperson told me so. I wish people would put effort in being accommodating and more open to people's genders, but instead, they just coat things in archaic binary gender colors and just direct you towards "what you look like". I don't know, maybe I'm just overreacting, but it felt demeaning. When I was younger, there weren't even gendered sections in the stores for glasses. :::
its so silly, they are shaped bits of plastic and little screws. The fascination with gendering objects in society always confuses me
Exactly! And this preoccupation with assigning colors to genders is something I've disliked ever since I was a kid, urgh. The most frustrating thing really is that glasses are a medical aid, and apart from being ridiculously expensive, now I also have to put up with this.
Thank you for your reply, I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way
the men's glasses are usually cheaper and more sturdy (at least where i go) so its another example of pink tax as well
More sturdy is definitely true here too, but unfortunately they're not all cheaper. Still need to find the right one. Hope I can find a better store in the near future, don't think I'll return to this one.
aw man
i think it's because at the place in the mall i go to, 90% of the women's glasses are like, designer brands, and then 10% is the "budget" section, whereas for the men's section the budget section is 50% of it, so i think i have confirmation bias here
Found out last weekend that this girl I'm into is a matriarchist. Like we've talked a bit about Marxism and she even said she is a Marxist and then drops this weird reverse classism nonsense. I sort of thought she was joking at first but then went on to say she thinks women should rule over all others. I wonder if there is some past trauma that causes her to think this. I was gonna try to get her onboarded with the PSL but I'm hesitant now. I wonder if I should talk more about it with her.
Talking about it with her sounds like a good idea for the start. Starting the PSL stuff might just be a bit early, and maybe she can explain more why she believes what she believes.
It’s common to center your worldview around the oppression you personally face. Oppression often causes trauma and if the trauma’s don’t get addressed properly then they can influence every part of your life, including your worldview. Some people are really stubborn in this belief, others are easily convinced otherwise. Especially in white feminist groups this view is very common so being confronted with a different class based perspective could just be enough for her to notice her own blind spots.
We talked a bit previously and she did say she is voluntarily selebate so I wonder if the 2 are related. I don't wanna pry though and will let her talk about it if she wants to. I may sprinkle in a bit of class consciousness here and there but I don't want to turn her off from Marxism altogether since she's already pushing left as it is.
Tiny child on the bus chanting "More more more snacks" I am with you, your cause is just, rise up against the parentgeoisie
The older I get the more I realize how right kids are - sometimes, other times they shovel dirt in their mouth and put glue in their hair
I am reminded of the author of Where the Wild Things are, who commented on the fact that the greatest compliment he ever received on his work was the time that a small child ate a drawing of his. "He saw it, he loved it, he ate it". There was no thought to the value of an original drawing by a famous illustrator, no thought to anything but the fact that he liked it so much he wanted to consume it.
New mega
Writing out the title dates made me realize October is almost gone
It's getting late in October, yes, but that also means now we have a good excuse to stay indoors and cuddle up beneath piles of blankets
This is the way.
::: spoiler CW distress, looking for bipolar advice
Looking for help, how do I ground myself and make it through a bipolar episode (mixed state)? I feel like I'm destroying my life and don't want to make it any worse
:::
I absolutely fucking hate the type of person who just says their thing and then rejects anything you have to say. Its a bit hard to explain the situation at work today without giving away my job but essentially this person made a comparison that is not applicable to our situation at all. She does this kind of thing all the time. But any time I try to explain my position to her, or why I want to do certain things, she cuts me off and throws her hands up and says "you do whatever you want to do, I'm just saying". I'm not arguing, I'm not being disrespectful. Despite my autism I have no problem with this with like 90% of people. She just doesn't want to listen to me at all.
Worse is she's one of the only queer people at work :/
There might just be some history on her side too that makes her act like this. That still isn't an excuse to be this uncooperative. Do you have any other colleagues that could support you in these arguments?
o god o fuck i dropped all my spoons
Nooooo
I'm having a blues-y kind of day. Can I have a hug?
Hope this week treats everyone a little better than the last.
You too, sweetie
I've gotten used to my neighbors screams. I am remarking on this only because she just did a big one and I heard someone outside yell in surprise. I yelled "She just does that, don't worry" which i hope they heard.
I thought my periods had totally stopped. Haven't had one in months but today one started again. Guess I haven't gone through the menopause then. Still want a hysterectomy though.
The hysterectomy will definitely help with a lot of the fibroid related issues, and on top of that with your irregular periods. I hope the doctors help you out
Thank you.
I'm just worried if they know I still have the occasional half-hearted period they might be less likely to do a hysterectomy. I've read so many stories about women being forced to live with terrible womb-related issues because doctors are more concerned with preserving female fertility than improving female quality of life.
I love you, sweetie, and you deserve so much better than all of this
What I do know (only from experience, can't point to any studies or medical reports) is that fibroids can and do cause infertility. Arguing that you have those combined with a lot of hormonal issues because of your thyroid history might actually be argument enough to get the hysterectomy approved. You may have to be very adamant to get this solution, but I believe in you.
Thanks, love you too.
I will definitely try, no idea how long until I get an appointment though.
I keep my fingers crossed that it won't take too long
Does dipping bread in daal count as a sandwich?
No but I'd say it's still a meal
Darn. I have no more toppings, it's food bank day today.
only permitted to be a victim
I understand that feeling, but remember that you are so much more than that. Don't let anybody tell you what you're permitted to be
Pain is immense, birthday is trash, depression is calling me towards the void. but im still rollin katamaris and listening to old cumtown episodes pretending its the past, which was still awful but i thought i might be fixable. Anyone have any tips for pushing through anhedonia and doing things when executive function is gone completely?
I just do what you do, listen to/watch old stuff and pretend it's the past.
I wish I could help you, love, but I want you to know you're not alone with that feeling. Usually, I revert to listening to old music or watch old movies and shows that used to make me feel comfortable, it's the only way I can get through these feelings. You're doing everything you can, sweetheart
thank you, honestly. I shame myself when i feel regressive like this and it just compounds things.
I understand where that's coming from, and it gets harder every time. But just trying to look for a way through it already makes you so strong. You're persevering, and you keep on doing so <3
One of the benefits of skipping twink status and just going straight to bear is that nobody questions when I go steal food from university events. They side eye a lot of other students walking by, but i just walk up and steal bananas and nobody bats an eye. Yeah I'm gonna have two bottles of water too. Sure. Thanks for the offer of the croissants you just shooed another student away from hut
.
Damn, now I want a vegan croissant
Hope you get one.
Sign me up too please!
The Outer Worlds 2 has some of the best looking prosthetic options ive ever seen in a game. I Love that sci-fi Art Nouveau style
Took me 7 hours to deep clean the floor today because I had to take many breaks but I still did it :)
Nice! Cleaning is such an energy-intensive task, but it can be very rewarding.
I really feel like i am in hell, or trapped in some kind of dark mirror that innocent youths gaze into to see the depths of misery that await the vile sinner. New Katamari is p good tho
[https://hexbear.net/post/6621057](New Mega)