I am in a local neighborhood discord group and someone needed a medical device as insurance was taking too long. I was trying to set them up with someone who I know is very knowledgeable at getting free loaned devices until insurance comes through and has come through in the past for me and others. I provided their email and telephone number and spoke with them letting them know what this person needed. I thought I was being helpful until I got scolded by the group and the person asking for help for not providing "material support", giving useless resources that go no where, and not understanding what disabled folks go through.

I'm disabled.

I think they were just frustrated at the shitty system we live under, but god damn it did not feel good to get eaten alive by the group.

My kiddo missed 2 hours of their school field trip because the transportation company contracted by the district sent a bus with a broken wheelchair lift

my father just told me he'd be super depressed if he had to "live my life forever"

"stop being disabled or stop being happy" i guess?

I had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting Big Pharma's New Golden Goose today. Or rather, it's the plantinum goose, insulin is still the golden goose. As it turns out, ozempic makes a lot more profit for Big Pharma. A relevant, yet minor detail is that ozempic and insulin share some chemicals. While ozempic is not necessary for survival for a large group of people on this planet, insulin very much is. Chemically produced insulin has been modified so much since its inception that it is, at this point, possible to develop allergic reaction to some of of them. Guess who has had an allergic reaction to quite a few insulins over the years? Exactly. Now, guess next which insulin I have no allergic reaction to? Yes, the one that is produced by the company that makes ozempic and is currently churning it out in gallons. And to conclude, guess now which group of people has to conserve insulin for a few months not because of the prices (alone) but also because their survival is not as lucrative as some people wanting to take almost the same chemicals to lose weight? Exactly, diabetics like me.

This shouldn't be this way. I don't mind people having access to ozempic, nor do I mind them using it to lose weight. What I do mind tho is that profit made with this drug is evidently more important than keeping people alive that really don't have to die anymore in a "modern" society. Nobody needs to die of diabetes anymore, heck, nobody has to go blind because of diabetes anymore, nor do they have to lose limbs from this shitty disease. There's enough medical expertise, medication and care to go around and save everyone from long term follow-up diseases. But no, again, profit is more relevant than anything else.

Someone came through with the rest of the money for the car repairs! My tendon is worsening, but I'm going to try wearing shoes tomorrow and see if my feet have healed up enough to tolerate them.

::: spoiler CW: medical mistreatment, rectal surgery, medical abuse So I had my surgery today for my hemorrhoids. Apparently, as I learned on my way out of the hospital, they were a lot bigger than I or my doctors thought. They were removed completely, and my ass has to be left open to heal during use. The pain is worse than anything I have ever felt in my life, and I probably have endometriosis. Pain killers have little to no effect, I'm lying on the ground at home and can't eat or drink apart from some water. I wanna die, plain and simple. And this is the good news.

I am, bc of a genetic disposition, very tolerant of pain killers and anesthetics of any sort. I mentioned that multiple times before they put me under. Couple of minutes later I wake up again, a breathing tube already down my throat, and everybody getting ready. I grunt, as I am unable to speak with a tube lodged firmly in my mouth, and the specialist looks at me to say "You shouldn't be awake." I grunt again what I hope will sound like an "I know". Doctor Obvious goes about upping the dosage and I'm passed out again.

Then suddenly, I wake up again and notice the light of the surgical floor directly above me, as I'm being pushed out of the operating room. The nurse notices and tells Doctor Obvious "She's awake again." And Doctor Obvious is like "That fast?" and I chime in "Yeah, I don't think I should be awake yet."

They bring me to the wakeup room and the slightly burning sensation in my bum rapidly evolves into searing pain. I tell the nurse there, and she gives me a second shot of painkillers. They don't work. I tell her again, and she's like "But it's all in, it should be working by now." And I say "Well it isn't."

In walks my savior, another nurse, who snaps at the one treating me, "That woman has a genetic condition that makes her metabolism work through pain killers faster, she needs at least double the dosage," which she promptly got me. She cheered me up a bit, helped me dress and was overall just a kind human being. We were even cracking jokes at some point, so much so that all other patients were giggling as well while they were waking up. I like to think they had a nicer time waking up.

Then my doctor who did the operation showed up to do one last check before discharging me. Turns out, the bleeding hadn't stopped and she needed to do something about it. She and the nurse were prepping me for a short "fix" to the issue and the doctor tells me, "It's gonna sting now" and she goes ahead and rams a 5cm needle directly into my bleeding, open-wound rectum. I screamed, I cried, you can imagine the rest.

The nurses tried to console me, I shoved them away, even kicked at them while screaming. There was no painkiller, no local anesthetic, nothing. I refused to talk to the doctor afterwards, just kept yelling that I want out. They discharged me, eventually, but not after asking me to stay over night. Doctor finally realized that I didn't trust her at all anymore, and she suggested I go home and lie down on the sofa to relax. My parting words were "I don't have a sofa", and then I walked out.

Final words with the kind nurse who showed me out, "This type of thing should only be done with an anesthetic, I do not understand why the doctor did this."

I'm considering sueing the hospital at this point, but that really depends on if I can survive this pain and not go mad from it. :::

Feeling very isolated presently. My IRL friends are always on the other end of a phone; there's hardly any time to see them in-person. And sometimes we go a long time without texting. My brain is too much of a mess to go out and meet people. I'm almost always afraid if not straight up paranoid, so it's hard to establish connections with people. I got into ham radio, but it's hard to bring myself to talk over the radio, and the things that interest me more like packet radio and radio BBSes and such are dead as no one does that anymore. Try to go online to find people who do it, and I'm met with "just use the internet." I don't like online games usually because people can be super toxic, and I'm too soft to handle that usually. Even on here I get nervous and disappear for weeks or longer, and nobody's even been mean to me on here.

Thanks for the new mega

And while I have a couple of very annoying days ahead of me, I wanted to tell you all how much I appreciate the community here and how much I like you all! Feel loved, feel hugged, feel appreciated and understood

call disability office

"leave voicemail and we'll get back to you within 1 business day"

leave voicemail

ghosted for 3 days

what the hell

::: spoiler autism, loneliness, negativity Really getting to me tonight the way other people can form friendships and bonds. In a way that I seemingly can't or is a lot harder. I blame autism for a lot of it. I try and just don't seem to get as far. Maybe I need to try more. I don't really know how. At least I'm usually more comfortable being alone then most people are because that's probably going to continue being a theme.

I just wish I didn't feel so alone. I want- something I do not have. Time to go forget. :::

Got my antipsychotic injection today. Been a rough week, but now I can sleep and think again.

It’s kind of shocking how much of the American left is anti-adhd medication and routinely parrot the “IT’S THE EXACT SAME AS METH* talking point.

I smoked the weed that lets your ADHD disappear and allows you to spend an hour and a half cleaning the house. Hell yeah

One of my classmates had both her first patients die on her leading up to her exam in patient care. She's swinging between a mental health crisis and condemning nursing as a profession (Because of the nurses she was working with). Don't know how to help her. So I'm just letting her vent, probably gonna invite her for ice cream after her exam

My landlady's car needs new brake pads and discs. Quoted at £400 and neither of us have any money. It's undrivable. With the mobility issues from my stroke, the fact that I'm still recovering from foot surgery, inflamed tendon and the fact that the nearest bus stop is over half a mile away anyway, I am now literally trapped indoors until we can raise the money for the car repairs. I thought my life sucked before, but now I am an actual prisoner, can't even get to medical appointments, landlady can't go and buy food or pick up our prescriptions. Just when I think things can't get much worse, they do. I hate being disabled!

The day before my final undergrad exam ever is a very bad time for my brain to kick into extreme executive dysfunction . And yet here we are. My energy level is so messed up, I keep going between to lethargic to move and too energetic to sit still

I made a comment in the previous mega that Dead Space was an excellent choice if already psychotic. I want to make it clear that was sarcasm. If any other psychotics out there are looking for a game rec, that is not the one. Love the game, but boy is it hard on people with psychotic symptoms.

I'm still doing my exercises and today when massaging my sore bicep I actually felt some muscle growth

Hi, I love you all.

Well, someone here helped me to join dignitas. Finally dignitas spoke to me about discounts (they won't discuss potential assisted suicide unless you're a member) and..... it's not going to work for me. The thing is, it turns out they do give big discounts to people on low incomes, you provide your proof and if you have no income/no disposable income they say they will even do it totally for free. The problem with that is you have to pay for your own travel and accommodations.

You have to travel to Switzerland for multiple interviews with doctors who will decide whether to help you or not. So the costs for this would be: taxi to train station, train to airport (potentially very expensive), airport shuttle bus, plane ticket, transport from Swiss airport, hotels, food etc. And depending how far apart your interviews are, you might need to stay in Switzerland for a while, and it's an expensive country. Depending on how long you have to wait between being accepted and doing the deed, you might need to go back home and return to Switzerland for the actual suicide, meaning paying all these costs again. If you stay in Switzerland while you wait, you then have to pay hotels, food and whatever for that whole time. Dignitas don't pay for this, you have to pay yourself. But with what income?

If you have enough money to pay for all this then you have too much for a free suicide, surely? In which case you have to pay the £15K cost of the suicide yourself. So yeah, it won't be happening for me unless some miracle happens in the future and I come into a lot of money. I'll have to struggle on for the foreseeable future.

Worked all evening to finish a deadline and now my body is completely giving up on me. It feels like my skull is trying to leave my head. I’m proud of my assignment though, probably one of my best works ever.

can and should I make a new megathread? This one ended yesterday

::: spoiler CW: drugs Not directly disability related but I guess I'm doing shrooms Friday evening for the first time. A friend gave me some and I figured I'd do a bit of research to prepare. I think I'm ready. Does anyone have any experiences with psychedelics and have advice on what to do to make sure the trip goes as good as possible? I'm gonna have water and snacks on hand and plan on not smoking or drinking so the high is as pure as possible. I wanna find a chill playlist to listen to as well. But other than that, I'm not sure what to plan for. :::

So how likely will the big beautiful bill be passed with all the Medicaid cuts included?

my partner got diagnosed with ocd a bit ago, and we developed a plan to help with exposures and stuff. i don't mind helping obviously, but man im exhausted right now lol

i still need to call the disability place again because they ghosted me too

might be good to take a social break again soon

I was just reminded that ReadFanon has a lot of really good posts and comments, I made a post with links to some of them.

(If I remember correctly I left out—not entirely intentionally—some non autistic/ADHD posts/comments. So some selfcrit on that)

Still trapped indoors. We've checked if either one of us would be eligible for any kind of grant to help the situation, but it doesn't look like it. Neither one of us can get a loan (I have a maxxed out OD and no income, my landlady has a maxxed out credit card and is on a fixed pension, no-one will lend to us). The situation is becoming ever more urgent. Don't know what else to try. If I was able bodied it wouldn't be a big deal, but I can barely walk, and neither can my landlady, she's nearly 80 and needs a knee replacement.

Now which reading hall do i want to go to.

The one with air conditioning, nice chairs, paintings on the wall and easy access to a kitchenette and toilets.
Or the handicap accessible one that smells.

Someone should genuinely sue

CW: digestive issues, surgery, female reproductive crap, ER (Emergency Room)/hospital

I kinda feel like death lately. I had abdominal surgery to help with my digestive issues and weeks later into recovery, I now have an infection in my intenstines. The pain was so bad I thought there was something wrong with my ovaries or uterus (that's where my most painful pain comes from, but turns out they are mostly fine but inflamed as well for some reason). Since I've had chronic pain for most of my life, it was so hard to wait in a chair in the ER when it is too painful to sit and then much later on standing at the pharmacy for my meds when my legs were never able to stand for too long before all of this. I hate going to the ER so goddamn much and the pharmacy really should have chairs at least. The antibiotic I'm on is causing so much digestive issues (which I was warned about at least), I feel nasueous a lot and easily bloated by small amounts of food. I'll spare you the details about my diarrhea. My stomach is constantly rumbly even as I type this. I am not going to die from this but I feel terrible.

::: spoiler CW: weight management, body issues On a side note, I'm no longer overweight. I have been told by doctors before (that I have since ditched since they sucked at listening) that my chronic pain is caused by my weight. Yeah major [X] on that. My pain started when I was at a healthy weight and fairly active as a teen, and the pain contributed to me putting weight on and becoming inactive as an adult. Now, I'm technically not overweight but still want a few more lbs off since I'm not happy with my stomach yet. My pain has not really changed, not that I can notice at least. I'm still somewhat immobile and can't use stairs. :::

i be working hard on self improvement

i do not have the spoons to be working this hard

ugh i have a real upper limit when it comes to how much i can learn in one day. only so much information can enter my brain before i get a headache, and that amount of information is not that much. and in ireland adhd meds are extremely controlled so i would have to pay a very expensive psychologist to get on them. for fucks sake

This might sound mad and weird but I think I might be having a migraine in my bum. Some weeks ago I had a weird feeling in my crotch, numbness, tingling and a menthol feeling. It eventually spread all down my right side and turned out to be a hemiplegic migraine. Well now I have a weird feeling in my buttocks, tingly and burning. There's no sign of an allergic reaction, nothing to see at all. Also it's now spreading into my face. Is this another weird migraine or is there actually something wrong with my bum?

China

I am currently waiting for "LLMs are use to make life more miserable for disabled people" to become a popular thing to say.

"Can I check out these two books and a skull" Sure that's a sentence.

"Bam iz nizzle" Sure that's a mnemonic.

Is using “o” instead of “I” a gen z thing? Don’t ask me why but I need to know

More useful diagrams

:D

::: spoiler spoiler

:::

ugh i have a real upper limit when it comes to how much i can learn in one day. only so much information can enter my brain before i get a headache, and that amount of information is not that much.

Love to have useful diagrams explaining cranial anatomy

::: spoiler spoiler :::

New mega