Dude I hate this so much as an autistic person.

I hate this idea that in order for people to see value in one another, that value must come from a social commodity rather than a person. A positive product that only brings simplistic joy and happiness like a sugary treat. Any complexity, any non-positivity, any undesired emotional valence is excised. It also tends to come from people with the easiest lives ever, whose problems are paperwork, who are very insulated from negative consequences of even their own actions. It's also inherently hypocritical because most of these people often have no problem complaining to you extensively, negatively, and with some pretty disgusting takeaways about their most mild inconvenience ever.

You're one of the good things existing in this world, comrade, and you shine a light that others can see even through all the darkness.

fuuck...

the last remaining community centre in my area was closed down recently too. Not that it was even doing anything covid-safe, but it put on lots of free activities for kids from families that can't even afford the basics. It does seem like the ruling classes of "the west" are hell bent on destroying anything that holds up (what still remains of) a social fabric or even smells of solidarity. What a new glorious era we're entering...

that's such awful advice. i literally give people the exact opposite advice (just because others have it worse doesn't mean your struggles are any less valid) constantly lol

I try to mask my disabilities as much as possible after I've seen how many treat us as less than them, be it in a condescending way or a hostile one. Maybe it is paranoia at this point but I don't want to take any chances.

I wish I was surprised. Reddit is a mass exporter of individualist mentality.

It's a hilarious position to hold in 2025. Just completely ignorant. There are millions of people who will never be able to claim disability because the US government believes that the only way a mental disability is real is if it presents in exactly the same way as some of the worst physical disabilities, and you'll still have to go to court over it.

The only real way for someone like me to get any kind of disability assistance is to get private disability insurance of a very specific kind and then have a qualifying incident. It's also very obvious that this is a result of market logic and the tying of human worth only to capitalist productive labor. In essence the "gap" between a disability that requires low social support and one that requires high social support is practically dictated by the labor market and what bosses will bear at any given time. However that "gap" is legislated through a rigid set of laws and conditions that create grey areas to exclude people. Nobody who thinks this way ever wonders why social safety nets are not inherently tracked to market conditions, which would allow for their crab bucket mentality to also benefit while also taking care of people's needs.

Yeah me and my.... checks notes

....$500 a month for depression, anxiety, incontinence issues, broken spine/pelvis/legs, and calf muscles that don't work is truly the drain on society. Imagine instead of making art, playing games, or reading books for the few hours of the day I can sit up if we put that $10 (or less) spent each month towards office supplies for ICE. That would obviously be better allocation of government funds, which can be made in unlimited amounts because we use fiat currency.

It's easy to ignore as long as it doesn't happen to them. And then admitting that they were wrong once it does doesn't happen either most of the time.

I feel your anxiety, comrade. It's terrifying

when depression tells me I should stay in bed staring at the ceiling for two hours instead of literally doing anything else

pro-gamer move: get yourself a tbi and do both

Well said

Disabled, displaced, but never defeated. No borders, no barriers just community.

this is poetry.

love and solidarity, comrade! hoping for the best for you and yours.

You too

I'm glad you've had at least some improvement. Sorry to hear about the monthlies though.

It is terrifying what's happening now, it's like the 21st century is a replay of the 20th century. First a depression and pandemic, now the rise of fascism and soon, ww3.

Ok what a disappointment. She didn't even give you painkillers or something?! Like, if you can't therapize the pain away, at least give your patient something to deal with it...? I'm stunned as to the lack of empathy here.

The therapy itself, exhausting it may be, could help with your mobility, but only if you're somewhat pain free and the rest of your health issues weren't so severe. It's just ridiculous how this therapy should be tied to your benefits when it will only drain you further at this point.

I'm pissed at this shitshow, but holy, this is next level fucked up on top of everything else. I'm so sorry about the housing situation too

it will matter if somehow it can help you in any way or make your life easier, either by giving you some validation or enabling paths that are not yet open for you (medication, disability aid). if not, the self diagnosis should probably be enough.

i have been living through something quite similar. i have a self-diagnostic of autism and after struggling hard to accept it (it took a very long time and much research to do it), i am finally able to understand why many of my responses are the way they are. i decided to not pursue a professional diagnosis since it is an incredibly complicated process and it will give me nothing even if i succesfully get one. even if my self-diagnostic is wrong and i have something else (being neurodivergent is near impossible to deny), it already helps me navigate many parts of life and allow me to set better boundaries on my needs so it will change nothing (i also don't trust in doctors or medical institutions so that adds to it)

Question is whether you want an official diagnosis for yourself. Putting the brand thing and (lack of) potential help to the side for a minute, I think you should get a diagnosis if you feel like you lack certainty in your own assessment and want a second professional opinion. But if you're okay with your self-disgnosis, then you're okay.

Either way, I'm sorry it's taxing you so much these days and I get thinking about getting help.

Apologies in advance for the long response... I've been struggling with this as well... diagnosed last November after a year of disruptive and scary barely-functioning burnout (that I didn't even realize was Autistic burnout). When I finally read the report, saw my 'official' clinical diagnosis, I just broke down. I felt (and still feel) a combination of fear, validation, relief, and frustration. It felt official, and real. Real enough to have others recognize it, if and when I need that 'evidence'. This need for evidence was a big reason for me pursuing it, admittedly. It was a way to stand against my abusers and fight for myself, even if I wasn't explicitly saying "it's my disability". It gave me courage to stop telling myself and letting others tell me that I'm lazy, stupid, full of excuses, or worthless when I can't do the things others can. It's unfortunately a constant battle. I've hidden myself behind a mask for so long I feel like I'm finally learning to accept who I really am, good and bad, and the diagnosis took away a lot of the second-guessing (which turned out to be a huge mental relief for me), so that was a plus. It has been increasingly difficult to address the trauma, though, because there's now a newly-discovered backlog of shit I need to reframe from realizing it's been an entire lifetime of struggle and not just the excessive burnout.

The diagnosis also answered a lot of questions about my internal and external behavior, and I am slowly becoming more self aware and less aggressively ableist towards myself. (I find myself thinking: yup that's the 'tism; oh yeah, there's the ADHD; fuck you OCD; oh, hey PTSD, can I sleep you away today?)

I have only told 2 people and in January spoke to a post-diagnosis support counselor after struggling with what to do to move forward. She told me to keep the diagnosis close to the chest while I still can, and helped me with language for requesting accommodations without saying why I need them, because realistically work environments and school settings in the US are torturous and toxic. We also talked at length about strategically masking, and how it can be a survival tactic in today's hostile environment. She was amazing and really helped unstick me from my disruptive mental loops after the diagnosis. I'm now on my learn-everything-about-the-disorder arc, and I've been journaling my research when I have the spoons. There has been a lot of shifting in the way I handle myself the last few months because of this; a grace and acceptance I've never practiced before. I'm not fighting myself as much, I guess.

That being said, Insurance would not cover anything, I had to find an online service that was valid in my state, and it was $1600 to get the results that are official and can be submitted for paperwork. It took everything I had, and who knows when I'll have that kind of money again, but I still don't regret it. Knowing it's there is enough for me for now. I'm incredibly paranoid about adding it to my medical records, and I don't really plan on ever using it beyond my own edification. Going on meds at this point seems futile for me personally. The reality is that we still need to protect ourselves, and it's a very personal decision that doesn't necessarily have to be shared or announced. I hope this wasn't too much ramble, and if time allows I'm open to talking more about it. Either way, your feelings and self-diagnosis are completely valid, because you know your lived experiences best.

I'd bring it up with your psychiatrist/prescriber. I had really vivid dreams with Ramron, an anti-depressant. You think lucid dreams are a trip? They don't compare to whatever the fuck Ramron was doing. Like you know you're in a dream, but you can feel everything and then you start tasting the air or hearing birds chirp and all of a sudden you're able to hover two feet off the ground for as long as you want.

Anywho, had to go off it because it caused my appetite to grow out of control. There were luckily alternatives (which I'm on still today). My doctor said the vivid dreams might happen and to let him know if they were too intense so we could look into other options. I know similar drugs with similar side effects are used to treat bi-polar disorder, including hallucinations.

also just realized that this is our first time posting to one of these megathreads

guess partially its because we're sorta just like "yea we're disabled,,, such is life" so kinda dont have things to say even tho we do have lots of things to say but we just think they arent important and we dont want to take up space etc

hello government, may i have money to live as i cannot work?

no, you should work.

well, okay, i can work at the cost of my health, i guess. may i have a job?

no, you haven't worked for too long.

I'm AuDHD / chronically depressed. I will never forget the one time my grandmother read me for filth where she's like "You would never just go do something, even just taking a class. You always need to practice something by yourself before you do it in public."

RSD is wild because you adapt to it in such a way where you start doing / not doing things to avoid the triggers. I have irrational troubles sometimes starting mundane conversations with my wife around like chores, because I feel that the negativity is going to affect our relationship in some way. I definitely tend to gravitate to people pleasing at my own detriment, esp in a professional environment. It's always about munande, interpersonal and normal stuff though, it's never when I have mechanical and more objective things at my job (e.g. this is going to fail because of X or we need to do this like Z because of A, B, C).

I had a lot more severe emotional regulation issues when I was a kid though. My RSD is typically only around direct social contact where some people I know it transforms into GAD or social anxiety, I think that's just the comorbidity with the autism.

Resting is hard when the anxiety never let's up. Like I'm technically not doing much, but in the ADD way, where it's like that whether I want it or not. So it's hard to feel rejuvenated, when I'm always just trying to keep up with the basics...

During physical therapy, I was leg pressing 200 pounds easy. Doesn't change that the nerves to my calves have been severed or that my center of gravity is wrong because of where my spine had to be reattached. All it means is I was good at that one exercise.

You're in the same boat. Just because you can do one task, doesn't mean you're able to do other tasks without any problems. There are people with missing limbs who have more mobility than I do. Maybe they can even play sports. They're still disabled because they're still missing a fucking leg.

"if I can do this, am I really disabled?"

What does this look like to the ablebodied people I talk about my chronic pain impacting what normal activities I can do?

i hate this because it's such a real concern. the instant you do something they perceive as "not something a disabled person can do!" they somehow think you've been magically healed by the power of christ; it's like watching a brainworm grow in real time. it doesn't matter how many times you've explained yourself or how often they've seen the evidence firsthand. it's beyond ridiculous. like i get why it happens, but goddamn.

I feel you

Just do it. Make a wish list. Re-litigate it as much as possible. Don't care too much about how reasonable your asks are. Please for the love of god, ask for help when you're young. Not only is help more readily available to you when you're young, but it also gives you confidence and experience in asking for help. It gives you experience in navigating these systems and relations.

As an adult who did not get help until way into their 30's, I really want to stress this and hope that you can learn from my experience.

Asking for and getting help becomes more difficult, scarier, and harder to gauge risk on if you have to start doing it when you're older. There is less help available when you're older. You have to sustain yourself by yourself more often than not when you're older. You may have people depending on you when you're older. I have never disclosed my disability or asked for accommodations at work even though I probably should have before I went fully remote.

Not picking up the skills to advocate for my own needs during schooling age and just "toughing it out" is one of my biggest regrets despite the fact that I haven't done too bad for myself. There's just been so much pain and bad outcomes that I could have avoided if I had developed these skills properly when I was younger.

These seem perfectly reasonable, and I'm glad you're seeking accommodations! You shouldn't have to needlessly suffer when a few small changes can make a world of difference. Hope it works out for you.

I have been hearing "next year will be better" every year since like, 2022, lol. We are in some bad, bad times and everyone is in denial, all the way down. the shittiest stack of turtles you ever saw. at least people are finally willing to say something that is turning out to be as bad as 2008 is as bad as 2008 now

My condolences, comrade. Losing a furry friend can be so jarring

*huggggg u so tight* :c

Sorry for your loss. xxx

Stress is definitely one of those extra things that just makes everything worse. Any update on your living situation yet? I know you have so much on your plate right now, just wanted to check in