6
3mon
19

Will you worship me as the one true god?

I have proclaimed myself to be the one true god. Will you worship me or will you be super lame? I'm taking questions in case further clarification is needed.

skye - 3mon

Will you spare me from work and provide me with the resources needed to live?

5
daggermoon @lemmy.world - 3mon

That's a bit beyond my abilities

2
skye - 3mon

bit lame, i'll consider worship

3
daggermoon @lemmy.world - 3mon

I thank you for your consideration.

2
ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠 - 3mon

"We've already got one!"

4
actionjbone @sh.itjust.works - 3mon

Depends. What do you call your religion?

4
daggermoon @lemmy.world - 3mon

The Cult of the 5-inch penis

1
NoSpotOfGround - 3mon

What are your views regarding people that are different from me?

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daggermoon @lemmy.world - 3mon

All homies are equal

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NoSpotOfGround - 3mon

That's a great rule. It'll raise conversion to our religion! We can ignore it whenever even mildly inconvenient though, of course?

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daggermoon @lemmy.world - 3mon

Ignoring our new religion is forbidden. Our hell really sucks and you don't want to go there.

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NoSpotOfGround - 3mon

Mysterious are your ways, o Lord. I didn't hear a clear "no" so I'll interpret that as a "sure, yeah, lol". Thanks! Daggermoon is king.

Now about this hell business, how many of the people i don't like can fit in there?...

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daggermoon @lemmy.world - 3mon

Hell is unique to the individual. The only other people in your hell are delusions. Except Ronald Reagan, who occasionally travels between other peoples hells to ask for jelly beans. Just tell him to fuck off.

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djsoren19 - 3mon

sorry I only worship hot goth baddies

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daggermoon @lemmy.world - 3mon

I won't even send you to hell for that, I love goth tiddies too.

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FreshParsnip @lemmy.ca - 3mon

Taylor Swift is Jesus. Only Swifties are getting raptured

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daggermoon @lemmy.world - 3mon

Swifties go to a special hell where the only song they can listen to is this.

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hazel - 3mon

Suppose I do decide to be super lame. Will you respect that decision?

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daggermoon @lemmy.world - 3mon

Yes, I will. But you still go to hell.

3