The moment you feel tipsy it's time to ease down. You have a stomach full of booze that's going to make you more drunk even if you stop immediately.
If you think people are good, you're probably right and if you think people are bad, you're probably right.
People are good IMO.
Ada - 18hr
I grew up in a racist town, and was indoctrinated on racism in my youth. It never sat right with me, but even so, I still struggled with racist thoughts that would jump in to my head when I encountered indigenous folk.
Someone said to me though that it's not the first thought that jumps in to your head that matters, because that's what you've been trained to think. What matters is what you do after that thought has appeared.
And that's stuck with me. It helped me be aware of the impact of indoctrinated hate, whilst also not getting tied up with guilt over my inability to completely purge myself of the indoctrinated bullshit.
It allowed me to retrain myself, and to make sure the shit I was raised with doesn't get passed on to my own kid.
100
trashcan - 17hr
Thank you for sharing your perspective on this. I think we could heal if more people felt they could openly discuss how they grapple with it.
21
Andy - 16hr
This is really deep.
I also gotta say: I reserve more respect for anyone who changed their attitudes to something I admire than someone who always held them. Me? I'm pretty progressive. But it's not like I can take credit. I share similar views to most people with my upbringing. Holding these beliefs is about impressive as a ball rolling down a hill.
Questioning your beliefs and going somewhere else? That's an achievement.
13
Ada - 11hr
To be clear, I've always been progressive. I was never overtly racist in the way so many of my peers were growing up. But their overt racism impacted me and filled me with assumptions and unchallenged beliefs that it took years to identify and challenge.
I was born in Moree (the destination of the [Freedom Ride] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_Ride_(Australia))), and racism still shapes the town today. I don't think it would be possible to grow up in that town without being shaped by racism in some way.
5
dustycups - 4hr
Fixed link and good one for not just going with the flow.
1
flubba86 @lemmy.world - 4hr
Wait.. I thought the significantly higher than average percentage of Aboriginal people in Moree would cause the population to be less racist in general. Your experience implies that is not the case.
1
theneverfox @pawb.social - 14min
There's diversity, where you have a lot of different types of people, and then there's places with a high concentration of a minority group
The first one makes people less bigoted, because you can't avoid dealing with people when they're everywhere. Your not going to last long in NYC if you don't want your food touched by them. Either you deal with it and get used to it, or you'll find it hard to eat
The second one doesn't force those normal human interactions. Instead, you have exposure. You see them around, but don't have to treat them like people. You might not interact at all.
So every time you see them, it reinforces the racism
You see it all over the American South, people around the black communities aren't less racist, they're giga-racist
1
Suck_on_my_Presence @lemmy.world - 15hr
Those are words of wisdom that have always stuck with me too. The fact that your first thought can just be a hair trigger gross thing. But who you are is the reaction to that thought, and the actions you take then.
I was raised by racists and generally not-good people and I learned from an early age to lie lie lie. So recently when a friend was offering me money for something, my trigger thought was to ask for a few hundred dollars more. And just. Gosh, ew, no, no, that's awful. I still feel bad about the fact that my initial thought was that, but the reaction that follows are where my morals actually lie.
Not an easy lesson to learn, but a very important one, IMO
7
FUCKING_CUNO @lemmy.dbzer0.com - 18hr
Don't commit more than one crime at a time
46
slothrop @lemmy.ca - 17hr
It's not secret if two people know it.
I was asleep alone at home.
22
NaibofTabr - 17hr
Also "two can keep a secret, if one is dead."
9
JohnnyCanuck @lemmy.ca - 16hr
Don't write down your crimes
12
Zagam - 16hr
Don't write anything down you don't want everyone to read.
I try to live by a similar "always try to interpret peoples actions in the most positive possible way". This means that if someone says something hurtful, they probably didn't mean it, either something came out wrong or you misinterpreted them. Spend a couple seconds thinking about what they could have meant, and suddenly you're choosing to interpret them in a way that makes your day better instead of worse.
Same goes for actions. If someone does something you don't like, you can very often choose to figure out what a good reason for their actions are. Trying my best to think like this has made me a lot happier and more easy-going.
1
Andy - 16hr
Get ready, because this is kind of cheesy stuff, but these two pieces of sports advice, taken together, have guided me for years.
First: a mentor of mine who was a pool shark taught me that when you're playing pool, there is always a best shot to take. Sometimes, when you've got no good options in front of you you want to just do nothing or quit. But no matter what, billiards offers a finite set of options of where to try and aim the cue, and if you rank them from best to worst, there is always a best. When you're in a bad situation, you find it and you take the best option. Often, that's either a harm reduction strategy, a long-shot that feels impossible, or a combo of both. But if you always do this you'll usually suffer far less harm in the aggregate, and if you take enough long shots you'll occasionally achieve a few incredibly improbable wins.
Second: A kayaking instructor taught me -- and this I'm told is true in many similar sports -- you go where your focus is, so to evade a problem, focus on the way past. If you see a rock, don't stare it it, you'll hit it. It doesn't matter if your brain is thinking "I gotta go anywhere except that rock!" If you're looking at, you're heading into it. If you don't want to hit the rock, instead you have to look at wherever it is you DO want to go. It takes a bit of practice, because your brain sees "rock!" more easily than "smooth water flowing between two rocks". But that's how you get down a river, and it's also how you work through almost any other problems in life that are rushing at you: don't focus ON them, focus on whatever is the preferred alternative. This is especially useful if the alternative is sort of a non-thing, like an empty gap between two problems. And it often is.
Taken together, you get the basic approach that has steered my problem solving throughout adulthood. And it really works.
31
nikosey @lemmy.world - 15hr
i took a motorcycle class where they also taught us that second one too: focus on where you want to go, not on what you want to avoid.
i hadn't considered it in a broader context until your post, but you're right it works
9
Mr Fish - 16hr
I like that your first one doesn't imply that you always need to find a good option, you only need to look for the best. Sometimes all of your options are bad, and in any other situation you'd never go for them.
6
ArrantKnave @lemmy.world - 7hr
Great tips! There's actually a term for the second one, target fixation.
3
Riskable - 16hr
Anyone who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -Voltaire
I first heard it when I was a kid but didn't truly understand it until 9/11. The more time goes on, the more our shitty timeline proves it to be true.
22
Novamdomum - 17hr
That there's an aspect of every relationship that always starts the same. It's two people bringing richness to each other, almost like Kings and Queens coming together bringing their lands and wealth with them.
Over time though that richness can fade and instead of bringing richness they start begging for it from the other person. If you find that you're in a relationship with someone and that both of you have turned into "beggars" whose life can only be complete if the other person performs a task or meets an expectation, the relationship will weaken and that weakness will invite other problems.
The solution, if you have become a "beggar" in a relationship, is to mentally detach yourself from the other person and spend some time alone trying to reconnect with what made you a rich resource in the first place. You must remind yourself what it was that made you a King or Queen and focus on regrowing those seeds of richness and independence from the other person. Then, once you have placed that crown back on your head you can return to the other person and offer your richness once again.
I've never forgotten that and it's led to a happy marriage for 14 years. Also works with friendships and working/business relationships.
19
moonlight - 15hr
I really like this.
I think most people have heard the "you need to work on yourself first" advice, which just feels unhelpful.
And I've always felt that people calling themselves "king" or "queen" is them being narcissistic.
But this advice nicely reframes both of those things into a really good mindset.
9
FinjaminPoach @lemmy.world - 15hr
I've always been great at medieval international diplomacy but awful at maintaining romantic relationship - thanks to your comment I can finally become master of my own destiny :)
6
gazter @aussie.zone - 13hr
I work in an environment that can have some tight timeline, high stress moments. People often deal with this with a kind of controlled panic- "Hi. This thing is not working." "Fuck, this is not working, quick, try that thing! Argh! Not working either! Oh no, shits fucked. Shit... Ok, try the other thing! Fuck, call Gary, they might know what to do!"
Then I worked with a person who had this totally different approach. When shit hit the fan, they just super calmly looked around, and said "That's a bit boring." Just that phrase shifted my whole perspective on the industry. Just treat the problem as a minor annoyance, and you'll see that it's rarely worth getting panicked about.
The other thing they taught me- no matter how urgent it is, never run. Running makes it look like we fucked up. And we don't fuck up, we just have the next thing that needs to be fixed.
19
theneverfox @pawb.social - 28min
When shit hit the fan, they just super calmly looked around, and said "That's a bit boring."
Yeah, that could go badly... If people think you're not taking their emergency seriously, and it turns out it's not a quick fix, they're probably not going to be very happy
I do find redirecting them calmly to be even more helpful. Just don't let their panick infect you, and start working the problem normally
That usually calms people down instantly, because it skips the part where they have to convince you there's a problem, instead you just skipped to giving them what they actually want
1
SolarBoy @slrpnk.net - 15hr
When you feel uncomfortable, just let it be there.
Dont try to push it away, feel it.
15
i_stole_ur_taco @lemmy.ca - 14hr
Marinate in it.
It sucks and it’s good for you.
4
Echinoderm @aussie.zone - 15hr
Mine is similar. A barrister once told me that you should be nervous before an important event like an interview or court appearance. If you aren't, all it means is that you aren't taking it seriously.
4
knight_alva @lemmy.world - 17hr
Idk who said them first but I’ll never forget the men who gave me these two things:
You are never out of options until you choose to stop looking for them.
And
Money comes and money goes but it is never worth fighting about. (The guy who gave me this one was going through an awful divorce and had a lot of regrets about how he handled things. I think that context matters here.)
15
spearz @lemmy.world - 17hr
“Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things.”
13
Canopyflyer - 17hr
I've heard of this one, but a little differently...
Don't sweat the petty things, pet the sweaty things.
4
Today @lemmy.world - 16hr
Two from my mom-
I cut; you chose.
If a boy will cheat with you he will cheat on you.
12
200ok @lemmy.world - 15hr
How you get 'em is how you lose 'em
5
YappyMonotheist - 18hr
"By their fruits you will recognise them." - Big J
When people say A but they have only done/been B, assume B (even more so if they don't even acknowledge the discrepancy).
And yes, I agree, people are fundamentally good 😊, which is why great immorality shocks and disgusts us (well, most of us around the world at least): we're witnessing someone deny their humanity and act against it.
the fundamental attribution error[a] is a cognitive attribution bias in which observers underemphasize situational and environmental factors for the behavior of an actor while overemphasizing dispositional or personality factors. In other words, observers tend to overattribute the behaviors of others to their personality (e.g., he is late because he's selfish) and underattribute them to the situation or context (e.g., he is late because he got stuck in traffic).
Or, as it's often described in common parlance, we judge others by their actions but ourselves by our intentions.
I don't really think it's helpful to collapse a persons character into "good" or "bad". The vast majority of people think they're good, and that those actions they've undertaken which others might describe as bad were either misunderstood, or justified.
2
YappyMonotheist - 11hr
First of all, sorry for the long, rambling reply!
I agree that most people worldwide will probably not transgress in heinous ways but there's certainly a "collapse" to happen on the Day of Judgment, and we will find out which threshold we crossed with our acts (this is the framework at least a quarter of the world is working on, more or less, and mine too ofc)... evidently, we're not God so we cannot fully account for everyone's deeds or even fully comprehend the scale on which to place them but in our day to day lives we usually understand some people are lovely to be around and boons for everyone and others are selfish and immoral to wicked and despicable and we spend our time with them/avoid them accordingly. We can avoid the hard categories "good" and "bad", but IRL we do classify people in groups of "good enough to have in your life" and "bad enough to avoid" and, whilst some people are just difficult and mentally not ok/intellectually challenged but spiritually/ethically 'on the right track', others just show complete disregard for everyone else and are aware of it, they just simply don't care...
TLDR: There is such a thing as a "good" and "bad" people, even accounting for ignorance, stupidity and mental instability, and we can tell them apart by their objectively good and bad decisions and takes on those decisions (ethically speaking, ofc)... we just can't make a final judgment on it. We know the direction these things go but we don't know the equation on the scales nor have the computing power to figure it out. 🤷
1
fizzle - 9hr
I can't argue with a position that requires faith, sorry.
3
YappyMonotheist - 9hr
That's pretty fair (and polite!). 👍
1
Salamanderwizard @lemmy.world - 14hr
Personally, this is one I given myself...
We're all idiots. It just depends on how much of an idiot you want to be.
10
T3CHT - 13hr
Funny similar to mine.
We're all assholes, just have to figure out what kind of asshole you want to be.
6
Salamanderwizard @lemmy.world - 12hr
Hey, great minds think alike!
1
char_stats - 16hr
Both destruction and development play on the lap of a teacher.
9
khannie @lemmy.world - 16hr
Oh that's a good one. I really like that as a parent.
1
18107 @aussie.zone - 12hr
I you want to do something, you'll find a way.
If you don't want to, you'll find an excuse.
Sometimes I'm finding reasons not to do something (like exercise), and have to remember to stop looking for excuses and start looking for solutions.
8
Brkdncr @lemmy.world - 9hr
“I shouldn’t have saved so much”. Said a friend a generation older than me. He retired when he realized he didnt need to work any more and that he wasn’t going to burn through all of his money. He said he would have rather spent it while he was younger and enjoy it.
7
Zagam - 16hr
About drinking- If you think you're talking normal, you're sluring. If you think you're sluring, you're not speaking human.
From a keyboardist in a band- have a good time, all the time
From Billy Idol - Too much is never enough (though I did have to unlearn this latter in life and get into treatment. Still, fun while it lasted)
6
Darkassassin07 @lemmy.ca - 16hr
As long as the building's still standing and nobody got hurt, it's been a good day.
Don't sweat the rest - especially off the clock.
6
FinjaminPoach @lemmy.world - 15hr
If you think people are good, you’re probably right and if you think people are bad, you’re probably right.
I'm not sure if it's objectively right, but I do totally support this because I think it's right "for you" - as in, if you think someone's a bad person they won't be right for you. If you think someone's a good person, they'll be right for you. (This isn't on a first impression basis though)
4
khannie @lemmy.world - 14hr
I agree with that 100%.
The context I was given it in was more about how you view the world. So if you think that people are good you'll invariably find the good and vice versa.
3
myfunnyaccountname @lemmy.zip - 1hr
Poop on company time.
4
Jack_Burton @lemmy.ca - 2hr
Two TV quotes go through my head every day.
Bill Nye: Everyone you'll ever meet knows something you don't.
Doctor Who: Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind.
4
200ok @lemmy.world - 15hr
You'll never meet a hater doing better* than you.
*Definition of "better" is left as an exercise for the reader
4
Archangel1313 @lemmy.ca - 12hr
Never fart while taking a pee...you might just shit your pants.
3
Tonava @sopuli.xyz - 4hr
Mine's "never run after a bus". It's pointless; you won't make it, just wait for the next one. Things go shitty because of that? Well, that's life, just deal with it. Running after things just makes you out of breath and desperate instead of learning planning and patience
3
JellyManJellyArms @feddit.dk - 50min
I run after the bus all the time and make it. Saves me ten minutes I can spend with the friend I’m visiting.
Edit: plus it’s extra gains
3
Meeshall65 @lemmy.world - 6hr
From the safest places come the bravest words - The Sound
2
El_guapazo @lemmy.world - 3min
Sex is like air. It's not a big deal unless you're not getting any.
khannie in asklemmy @lemmy.world
What wisdom from someone else has stuck with you?
Two for me:
The moment you feel tipsy it's time to ease down. You have a stomach full of booze that's going to make you more drunk even if you stop immediately.
If you think people are good, you're probably right and if you think people are bad, you're probably right.
People are good IMO.
I grew up in a racist town, and was indoctrinated on racism in my youth. It never sat right with me, but even so, I still struggled with racist thoughts that would jump in to my head when I encountered indigenous folk.
Someone said to me though that it's not the first thought that jumps in to your head that matters, because that's what you've been trained to think. What matters is what you do after that thought has appeared.
And that's stuck with me. It helped me be aware of the impact of indoctrinated hate, whilst also not getting tied up with guilt over my inability to completely purge myself of the indoctrinated bullshit.
It allowed me to retrain myself, and to make sure the shit I was raised with doesn't get passed on to my own kid.
Thank you for sharing your perspective on this. I think we could heal if more people felt they could openly discuss how they grapple with it.
This is really deep.
I also gotta say: I reserve more respect for anyone who changed their attitudes to something I admire than someone who always held them. Me? I'm pretty progressive. But it's not like I can take credit. I share similar views to most people with my upbringing. Holding these beliefs is about impressive as a ball rolling down a hill.
Questioning your beliefs and going somewhere else? That's an achievement.
To be clear, I've always been progressive. I was never overtly racist in the way so many of my peers were growing up. But their overt racism impacted me and filled me with assumptions and unchallenged beliefs that it took years to identify and challenge.
I was born in Moree (the destination of the [Freedom Ride] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_Ride_(Australia))), and racism still shapes the town today. I don't think it would be possible to grow up in that town without being shaped by racism in some way.
Fixed link and good one for not just going with the flow.
Wait.. I thought the significantly higher than average percentage of Aboriginal people in Moree would cause the population to be less racist in general. Your experience implies that is not the case.
There's diversity, where you have a lot of different types of people, and then there's places with a high concentration of a minority group
The first one makes people less bigoted, because you can't avoid dealing with people when they're everywhere. Your not going to last long in NYC if you don't want your food touched by them. Either you deal with it and get used to it, or you'll find it hard to eat
The second one doesn't force those normal human interactions. Instead, you have exposure. You see them around, but don't have to treat them like people. You might not interact at all.
So every time you see them, it reinforces the racism
You see it all over the American South, people around the black communities aren't less racist, they're giga-racist
Those are words of wisdom that have always stuck with me too. The fact that your first thought can just be a hair trigger gross thing. But who you are is the reaction to that thought, and the actions you take then.
I was raised by racists and generally not-good people and I learned from an early age to lie lie lie. So recently when a friend was offering me money for something, my trigger thought was to ask for a few hundred dollars more. And just. Gosh, ew, no, no, that's awful. I still feel bad about the fact that my initial thought was that, but the reaction that follows are where my morals actually lie.
Not an easy lesson to learn, but a very important one, IMO
Don't commit more than one crime at a time
It's not secret if two people know it.
I was asleep alone at home.
Also "two can keep a secret, if one is dead."
Don't write down your crimes
Don't write anything down you don't want everyone to read.
https://startrek.website/pictrs/image/296dc67b-64a6-43eb-aa8c-dee7f93c7119.jpeg
Hahaha exactly! So good.
Don't livestream your crimes while in a group of people committing crimes.
My friend calls that - Don't be stupid while you're being stupid.
More of a famous quote I guess, but:
"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."
Since I first heard it, I've been far less annoyed / paranoid about other peoples actions, at work in particular.
When someone is road raging I like to pretend they have diarrhea
Aka Hanlon's Razor
I try to live by a similar "always try to interpret peoples actions in the most positive possible way". This means that if someone says something hurtful, they probably didn't mean it, either something came out wrong or you misinterpreted them. Spend a couple seconds thinking about what they could have meant, and suddenly you're choosing to interpret them in a way that makes your day better instead of worse.
Same goes for actions. If someone does something you don't like, you can very often choose to figure out what a good reason for their actions are. Trying my best to think like this has made me a lot happier and more easy-going.
Get ready, because this is kind of cheesy stuff, but these two pieces of sports advice, taken together, have guided me for years.
First: a mentor of mine who was a pool shark taught me that when you're playing pool, there is always a best shot to take. Sometimes, when you've got no good options in front of you you want to just do nothing or quit. But no matter what, billiards offers a finite set of options of where to try and aim the cue, and if you rank them from best to worst, there is always a best. When you're in a bad situation, you find it and you take the best option. Often, that's either a harm reduction strategy, a long-shot that feels impossible, or a combo of both. But if you always do this you'll usually suffer far less harm in the aggregate, and if you take enough long shots you'll occasionally achieve a few incredibly improbable wins.
Second: A kayaking instructor taught me -- and this I'm told is true in many similar sports -- you go where your focus is, so to evade a problem, focus on the way past. If you see a rock, don't stare it it, you'll hit it. It doesn't matter if your brain is thinking "I gotta go anywhere except that rock!" If you're looking at, you're heading into it. If you don't want to hit the rock, instead you have to look at wherever it is you DO want to go. It takes a bit of practice, because your brain sees "rock!" more easily than "smooth water flowing between two rocks". But that's how you get down a river, and it's also how you work through almost any other problems in life that are rushing at you: don't focus ON them, focus on whatever is the preferred alternative. This is especially useful if the alternative is sort of a non-thing, like an empty gap between two problems. And it often is.
Taken together, you get the basic approach that has steered my problem solving throughout adulthood. And it really works.
i took a motorcycle class where they also taught us that second one too: focus on where you want to go, not on what you want to avoid.
i hadn't considered it in a broader context until your post, but you're right it works
I like that your first one doesn't imply that you always need to find a good option, you only need to look for the best. Sometimes all of your options are bad, and in any other situation you'd never go for them.
Great tips! There's actually a term for the second one, target fixation.
I first heard it when I was a kid but didn't truly understand it until 9/11. The more time goes on, the more our shitty timeline proves it to be true.
That there's an aspect of every relationship that always starts the same. It's two people bringing richness to each other, almost like Kings and Queens coming together bringing their lands and wealth with them.
Over time though that richness can fade and instead of bringing richness they start begging for it from the other person. If you find that you're in a relationship with someone and that both of you have turned into "beggars" whose life can only be complete if the other person performs a task or meets an expectation, the relationship will weaken and that weakness will invite other problems.
The solution, if you have become a "beggar" in a relationship, is to mentally detach yourself from the other person and spend some time alone trying to reconnect with what made you a rich resource in the first place. You must remind yourself what it was that made you a King or Queen and focus on regrowing those seeds of richness and independence from the other person. Then, once you have placed that crown back on your head you can return to the other person and offer your richness once again.
I've never forgotten that and it's led to a happy marriage for 14 years. Also works with friendships and working/business relationships.
I really like this.
I think most people have heard the "you need to work on yourself first" advice, which just feels unhelpful.
And I've always felt that people calling themselves "king" or "queen" is them being narcissistic.
But this advice nicely reframes both of those things into a really good mindset.
I've always been great at medieval international diplomacy but awful at maintaining romantic relationship - thanks to your comment I can finally become master of my own destiny :)
I work in an environment that can have some tight timeline, high stress moments. People often deal with this with a kind of controlled panic- "Hi. This thing is not working." "Fuck, this is not working, quick, try that thing! Argh! Not working either! Oh no, shits fucked. Shit... Ok, try the other thing! Fuck, call Gary, they might know what to do!"
Then I worked with a person who had this totally different approach. When shit hit the fan, they just super calmly looked around, and said "That's a bit boring." Just that phrase shifted my whole perspective on the industry. Just treat the problem as a minor annoyance, and you'll see that it's rarely worth getting panicked about.
The other thing they taught me- no matter how urgent it is, never run. Running makes it look like we fucked up. And we don't fuck up, we just have the next thing that needs to be fixed.
Yeah, that could go badly... If people think you're not taking their emergency seriously, and it turns out it's not a quick fix, they're probably not going to be very happy
I do find redirecting them calmly to be even more helpful. Just don't let their panick infect you, and start working the problem normally
That usually calms people down instantly, because it skips the part where they have to convince you there's a problem, instead you just skipped to giving them what they actually want
When you feel uncomfortable, just let it be there. Dont try to push it away, feel it.
Marinate in it.
It sucks and it’s good for you.
Mine is similar. A barrister once told me that you should be nervous before an important event like an interview or court appearance. If you aren't, all it means is that you aren't taking it seriously.
Idk who said them first but I’ll never forget the men who gave me these two things:
And
“Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things.”
I've heard of this one, but a little differently...
Don't sweat the petty things, pet the sweaty things.
Two from my mom-
I cut; you chose.
If a boy will cheat with you he will cheat on you.
How you get 'em is how you lose 'em
"By their fruits you will recognise them." - Big J
When people say A but they have only done/been B, assume B (even more so if they don't even acknowledge the discrepancy).
And yes, I agree, people are fundamentally good 😊, which is why great immorality shocks and disgusts us (well, most of us around the world at least): we're witnessing someone deny their humanity and act against it.
The Funamental Attribution Error is relevant here.
Wikipedia describes it like this:
Or, as it's often described in common parlance, we judge others by their actions but ourselves by our intentions.
I don't really think it's helpful to collapse a persons character into "good" or "bad". The vast majority of people think they're good, and that those actions they've undertaken which others might describe as bad were either misunderstood, or justified.
First of all, sorry for the long, rambling reply!
I agree that most people worldwide will probably not transgress in heinous ways but there's certainly a "collapse" to happen on the Day of Judgment, and we will find out which threshold we crossed with our acts (this is the framework at least a quarter of the world is working on, more or less, and mine too ofc)... evidently, we're not God so we cannot fully account for everyone's deeds or even fully comprehend the scale on which to place them but in our day to day lives we usually understand some people are lovely to be around and boons for everyone and others are selfish and immoral to wicked and despicable and we spend our time with them/avoid them accordingly. We can avoid the hard categories "good" and "bad", but IRL we do classify people in groups of "good enough to have in your life" and "bad enough to avoid" and, whilst some people are just difficult and mentally not ok/intellectually challenged but spiritually/ethically 'on the right track', others just show complete disregard for everyone else and are aware of it, they just simply don't care...
TLDR: There is such a thing as a "good" and "bad" people, even accounting for ignorance, stupidity and mental instability, and we can tell them apart by their objectively good and bad decisions and takes on those decisions (ethically speaking, ofc)... we just can't make a final judgment on it. We know the direction these things go but we don't know the equation on the scales nor have the computing power to figure it out. 🤷
I can't argue with a position that requires faith, sorry.
That's pretty fair (and polite!). 👍
Personally, this is one I given myself...
We're all idiots. It just depends on how much of an idiot you want to be.
Funny similar to mine.
We're all assholes, just have to figure out what kind of asshole you want to be.
Hey, great minds think alike!
Both destruction and development play on the lap of a teacher.
Oh that's a good one. I really like that as a parent.
I you want to do something, you'll find a way.
If you don't want to, you'll find an excuse.
Sometimes I'm finding reasons not to do something (like exercise), and have to remember to stop looking for excuses and start looking for solutions.
“I shouldn’t have saved so much”. Said a friend a generation older than me. He retired when he realized he didnt need to work any more and that he wasn’t going to burn through all of his money. He said he would have rather spent it while he was younger and enjoy it.
About drinking- If you think you're talking normal, you're sluring. If you think you're sluring, you're not speaking human.
From a keyboardist in a band- have a good time, all the time
From Billy Idol - Too much is never enough (though I did have to unlearn this latter in life and get into treatment. Still, fun while it lasted)
As long as the building's still standing and nobody got hurt, it's been a good day.
Don't sweat the rest - especially off the clock.
I'm not sure if it's objectively right, but I do totally support this because I think it's right "for you" - as in, if you think someone's a bad person they won't be right for you. If you think someone's a good person, they'll be right for you. (This isn't on a first impression basis though)
I agree with that 100%.
The context I was given it in was more about how you view the world. So if you think that people are good you'll invariably find the good and vice versa.
Poop on company time.
Two TV quotes go through my head every day.
Bill Nye: Everyone you'll ever meet knows something you don't.
Doctor Who: Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind.
You'll never meet a hater doing better* than you.
*Definition of "better" is left as an exercise for the reader
Never fart while taking a pee...you might just shit your pants.
Mine's "never run after a bus". It's pointless; you won't make it, just wait for the next one. Things go shitty because of that? Well, that's life, just deal with it. Running after things just makes you out of breath and desperate instead of learning planning and patience
I run after the bus all the time and make it. Saves me ten minutes I can spend with the friend I’m visiting.
Edit: plus it’s extra gains
From the safest places come the bravest words - The Sound
Sex is like air. It's not a big deal unless you're not getting any.