transcription: how it started: wrapping chord around controller. how its going: shibari
LH0ezVT @sh.itjust.works - 3day
Man, I wish ):
48
Pennomi - 3day
Don’t let your dreams stay dreams! It’s pretty cheap to pick up some coreless nylon rope at your local hardware store. There are great free tutorials here, even for self-tie.
It’s a little surprising but rope is a great way to meet new people and make friends.
33
Riskable - 2day
Couples that get roped into this hobby often tie the knot.
24
LH0ezVT @sh.itjust.works - 3day
Thanks for the advice! I know there are people who are into self-tying, but for me that doesn't really scratch the itch. One of these days I really should check out the local community for this kind of stuff...
19
AnarchistArtificer @slrpnk.net - 2day
There are often rope workshops geared at beginners. I find these quite accessible to people who are new to this scene. The rope specific workshops I've seen often involve no overtime sexual stuff (aside from the kinky undertone of such an event). For example, the ones I've seen advertised or have attended were events with no nudity.
I liked that I could turn up and be match with someone to either tie up, or to tie me up. At more general kink events where there's other kinds of play going on, then finding someone to do rope stuff with follows typical social script stuff. It can be daunting to want to find someone who you trust who you can explore rope stuff with in that context. At a workshop, the platonic vibe of it all means that there isn't that kind of pressure. You don't have to worry so much about building rapport with the person you're tying with (beyond developing the basic communication skills involved in tying someone up/being tied up), because the event teacher(s)/supervisor(s) are there to help ensure everything stays safe (emotionally and physically).
In my area, fetlife is where stuff like this is advertised, but you would probably have good success googling something like "[your area] [rope labs/shibari workshop]". It shouldn't be too hard to find something. People running events like this tend to have an easier time finding venues because the events are not sexual per se. Workshops usually charge money; in my area, I've seen sessions costing between £5-£20. This feels very reasonable, and feeling like I'm purchasing a service (the tuition and also the safe space to participate in) helps a lot. I found the focussed context of the workshop more accessible than attending a general BDSM munch. It reminds me of how I enjoy getting to know new people through board games and similar activities — I find social stuff easier when there's a task or activity to focus on.
I'd strongly recommend you see what's available near you. It sounds like you're quite intrigued about this, to the extent that it seems inevitable that you'll end up exploring this eventually. If you agree with that assessment of things, then I'd argue that it would be wise to try out one of these events; it would be unfortunate if you end up spending a lot of time stewing in wistfulness. That's the vibe I get from your comment — I related to the tone of it, because for a long while, I was curious about this scene, but it can feel so daunting and inaccessible to actually begin getting involved with, even if you understand that it's quite a welcoming community. Workshops can be a great entry point that also feels lower stakes than generally getting involved with the scene
17
Pennomi - 2day
Agreed, rope is more “extreme sport” than kink for a lot of people. Beginner events are generally low-pressure. It’s not nearly as scary as people generally have in mind, and I’m saying that as someone who finds it hard to go out and meet people.
5
LH0ezVT @sh.itjust.works - 2day
That's some solid advice, thank you!
Yes, the regular meetups / munches always felt a bit too much at once, going to a workshop sounds like a much better way to dip my toes for all the reasons you mentioned.
3
moonlight - 2day
I don't think it's the price of the rope that's the issue, haha
I have some proper rope, but nobody to use it on and self tying just makes me sad :(
11
Pennomi - 2day
The price of rope can get quite expensive depending on the quality and where you buy it from.
But yeah, finding people to tie with can be a challenge. I know in my area there are multiple groups that do it, and while it was really scary to reach out the first time, it turns out they are charming, friendly people. Definitely worth a shot.
(I mean, I’m in a city, might be harder in less-populated areas.)
12
jaybone @lemmy.zip - 3day
Yeah, I never get this meme. If that’s OP’s life, good for them. Very humblebrag.
4
Cevilia (she/they/…) - 2day
Unfortunately my local kink community is toxic af. So I just do stuff with my wife. Sadly she's nowhere near as kinky as me and doesn't really get much out of it other than my happiness, so it doesn't really properly scratch the itch :(
27
BambiDiego @lemmy.world - 2day
I was gonna give you a hard time for saying something like this on such a public forum but honestly, you're communicating and being genuine, both good things.
Do your thing, and I wish you luck with finding what you seek.
17
Pelicanen - 2day
Out of curiosity (please feel free to disregard if the question is too personal), when you've partaken in kinky activities with other people, has it been sexual in nature or have they been other types of experiences?
I'm not very knowledgeable about that world but I've always sort of associated it with sexual gratification, I have heard fairly recently that a pretty large portion of people engage in it without involving sex and I'm just curious about what kind of enjoyment is involved in that case.
3
Cevilia (she/they/…) - 2day
I'd say for me it's about 50/50. It can be about sex, but sometimes what I really need is a different kind of release, if that makes any sense. Just existing in a very simple state where nothing's expected of me for a little while. There's also the hedonistic aspect of experiencing things out of the norm. Yes sometimes it's about sex, I do have needs after all, but not always.
5
Fenderfreek @lemmy.world - 2day
Not OP, but a thing I am pretty heavily involved in. It depends a lot on the community you’re in and the culture around it, and my experience is that most people who practice kink in a community setting also consider it an integral part of their sexual life, but not exclusively so. There are many that approach it as a connective practice that focuses on power exchange, communication, and sensory exploration as much or more than as a form of purely sexual gratification. The kind of intimacy and connection that you cultivate with mindful, consistent kink, even if not explicitly sexual, often cultivates a safe environment for negotiating and potentially exploring sexual chemistry with a partner if the feeling is mutual.
Generally, it’s considered normal for sexual boundaries or interests to be a part of negotiations when you’re exploring a kinky connection with someone, however it is rarely a deal-breaker in my experience if either partner isn’t interested in that, nor is it often the primary thing being negotiated. I have a few partners that I regularly do kinky things with and also have sex or do sexual things with. Many of the people in my community do consistently integrate kink with sex, but most of what goes on in public or semi-private spaces are non-sexual scenes.
3
maria [she/her] - 3day
oooh- whats that blue thingy in the right pick?,.-
also..,,. imma be honest n say that i kinda,,... like - umm.. the too-only kinda roping is.... iduno - it jus doesnt feel as spicy in my onion---.,. mayb im jus yappin tho, prolli will change onion later when i got actual layers to put on it.
15
lost_faith - 3day
blue thingy
A latex/nitrile glove
If this isn't spicy try suspension, now THAT is spicy
15
Rai @lemmy.dbzer0.com - 2day
My partner and I had our best friend suspended and spanked at a lesbian bar rave for their birthday and it was a HOOT!
9
LH0ezVT @sh.itjust.works - 2day
Different people enjoy different things. Yo paraphrase Sir Terry, if you're hungry, you're imagining huge sophisticated dinners, but when it comes to eat, you're happy with fried potatoes and eggs
1
Denjin @feddit.uk - 3day
And here is me still plying N64 almost 30 years later.
14
Riskable - 2day
It won't stop until you're 64. The name was prophecy.
erotador in onehundredninetysix
how is rule
transcription: how it started: wrapping chord around controller. how its going: shibari
Man, I wish ):
Don’t let your dreams stay dreams! It’s pretty cheap to pick up some coreless nylon rope at your local hardware store. There are great free tutorials here, even for self-tie.
It’s a little surprising but rope is a great way to meet new people and make friends.
Couples that get roped into this hobby often tie the knot.
Thanks for the advice! I know there are people who are into self-tying, but for me that doesn't really scratch the itch. One of these days I really should check out the local community for this kind of stuff...
There are often rope workshops geared at beginners. I find these quite accessible to people who are new to this scene. The rope specific workshops I've seen often involve no overtime sexual stuff (aside from the kinky undertone of such an event). For example, the ones I've seen advertised or have attended were events with no nudity.
I liked that I could turn up and be match with someone to either tie up, or to tie me up. At more general kink events where there's other kinds of play going on, then finding someone to do rope stuff with follows typical social script stuff. It can be daunting to want to find someone who you trust who you can explore rope stuff with in that context. At a workshop, the platonic vibe of it all means that there isn't that kind of pressure. You don't have to worry so much about building rapport with the person you're tying with (beyond developing the basic communication skills involved in tying someone up/being tied up), because the event teacher(s)/supervisor(s) are there to help ensure everything stays safe (emotionally and physically).
In my area, fetlife is where stuff like this is advertised, but you would probably have good success googling something like "[your area] [rope labs/shibari workshop]". It shouldn't be too hard to find something. People running events like this tend to have an easier time finding venues because the events are not sexual per se. Workshops usually charge money; in my area, I've seen sessions costing between £5-£20. This feels very reasonable, and feeling like I'm purchasing a service (the tuition and also the safe space to participate in) helps a lot. I found the focussed context of the workshop more accessible than attending a general BDSM munch. It reminds me of how I enjoy getting to know new people through board games and similar activities — I find social stuff easier when there's a task or activity to focus on.
I'd strongly recommend you see what's available near you. It sounds like you're quite intrigued about this, to the extent that it seems inevitable that you'll end up exploring this eventually. If you agree with that assessment of things, then I'd argue that it would be wise to try out one of these events; it would be unfortunate if you end up spending a lot of time stewing in wistfulness. That's the vibe I get from your comment — I related to the tone of it, because for a long while, I was curious about this scene, but it can feel so daunting and inaccessible to actually begin getting involved with, even if you understand that it's quite a welcoming community. Workshops can be a great entry point that also feels lower stakes than generally getting involved with the scene
Agreed, rope is more “extreme sport” than kink for a lot of people. Beginner events are generally low-pressure. It’s not nearly as scary as people generally have in mind, and I’m saying that as someone who finds it hard to go out and meet people.
That's some solid advice, thank you!
Yes, the regular meetups / munches always felt a bit too much at once, going to a workshop sounds like a much better way to dip my toes for all the reasons you mentioned.
I don't think it's the price of the rope that's the issue, haha
I have some proper rope, but nobody to use it on and self tying just makes me sad :(
The price of rope can get quite expensive depending on the quality and where you buy it from.
But yeah, finding people to tie with can be a challenge. I know in my area there are multiple groups that do it, and while it was really scary to reach out the first time, it turns out they are charming, friendly people. Definitely worth a shot.
(I mean, I’m in a city, might be harder in less-populated areas.)
Yeah, I never get this meme. If that’s OP’s life, good for them. Very humblebrag.
Unfortunately my local kink community is toxic af. So I just do stuff with my wife. Sadly she's nowhere near as kinky as me and doesn't really get much out of it other than my happiness, so it doesn't really properly scratch the itch :(
I was gonna give you a hard time for saying something like this on such a public forum but honestly, you're communicating and being genuine, both good things.
Do your thing, and I wish you luck with finding what you seek.
Out of curiosity (please feel free to disregard if the question is too personal), when you've partaken in kinky activities with other people, has it been sexual in nature or have they been other types of experiences?
I'm not very knowledgeable about that world but I've always sort of associated it with sexual gratification, I have heard fairly recently that a pretty large portion of people engage in it without involving sex and I'm just curious about what kind of enjoyment is involved in that case.
I'd say for me it's about 50/50. It can be about sex, but sometimes what I really need is a different kind of release, if that makes any sense. Just existing in a very simple state where nothing's expected of me for a little while. There's also the hedonistic aspect of experiencing things out of the norm. Yes sometimes it's about sex, I do have needs after all, but not always.
Not OP, but a thing I am pretty heavily involved in. It depends a lot on the community you’re in and the culture around it, and my experience is that most people who practice kink in a community setting also consider it an integral part of their sexual life, but not exclusively so. There are many that approach it as a connective practice that focuses on power exchange, communication, and sensory exploration as much or more than as a form of purely sexual gratification. The kind of intimacy and connection that you cultivate with mindful, consistent kink, even if not explicitly sexual, often cultivates a safe environment for negotiating and potentially exploring sexual chemistry with a partner if the feeling is mutual.
Generally, it’s considered normal for sexual boundaries or interests to be a part of negotiations when you’re exploring a kinky connection with someone, however it is rarely a deal-breaker in my experience if either partner isn’t interested in that, nor is it often the primary thing being negotiated. I have a few partners that I regularly do kinky things with and also have sex or do sexual things with. Many of the people in my community do consistently integrate kink with sex, but most of what goes on in public or semi-private spaces are non-sexual scenes.
oooh- whats that blue thingy in the right pick?,.-
also..,,. imma be honest n say that i kinda,,... like - umm.. the too-only kinda roping is.... iduno - it jus doesnt feel as spicy in my onion---.,. mayb im jus yappin tho, prolli will change onion later when i got actual layers to put on it.
A latex/nitrile glove
If this isn't spicy try suspension, now THAT is spicy
My partner and I had our best friend suspended and spanked at a lesbian bar rave for their birthday and it was a HOOT!
Different people enjoy different things. Yo paraphrase Sir Terry, if you're hungry, you're imagining huge sophisticated dinners, but when it comes to eat, you're happy with fried potatoes and eggs
And here is me still plying N64 almost 30 years later.
It won't stop until you're 64. The name was prophecy.
Foundations of rope bondage by lazarus redmayne https://a.co/d/b0mHHbm
Great book.
He also does the duchy dot com Which the book is just basically an offline version of.
Quality stuff.
owo kigurumi + shibari?
don't forget the hole u cut in her butt for ur pp