Okay, here's a radical thought that has actually helped me overcome this attitude:
Who the fuck do you think you are to discard everyone else's opinions like that?
Maybe give the people who love and support you a little more credit?
49
trashcroissant - 3day
For me it was my therapist going "you think all those people are lying to you just to be polite?"
Why yes, I do think that, but when you put it that way it makes me feel stupid for thinking that.
21
FoxyFerengi @startrek.website - 3day
I lie to people just to be polite. But I don't lie to my friends. But what if they aren't actually my friends and they talk to me just to be polite? But...
It's a spiral that probably won't end until I'm alone
10
BenLeMan @lemmy.world - 3day
It's a spiral that probably won't end until I'm alone
Or until you learn to differentiate between those behaviors, thought patterns, and underlying beliefs that make your life better in the present moment and those that pull you down.
There's always a good reason why we've adopted these behaviors-- maybe they were crucial to our survival at one point. But that was then and this is now.
Working through all that is not an easy task. In fact, it can be hard work. But it's so, so valuable. And when you commit to it you will see real progress.
All the best to you and everyone else who feels they are in this situation.
2
yetAnotherUser @discuss.tchncs.de - 3day
For me it was realizing I'm "just" OK.
I'm not special in any way. Neither am I a particularly bad person nor am I a particularly good person. And being OK is honestly enough as there is no obligation to do good – you are only obligated to not do harm.
There's a lot of room for me to be a better person but so is there to be a worse one.
6
KernelTale @programming.dev - 3day
I've never had such a problem as I call myself evil and see no desire to change that. (Though nobody would call me evil)
3
HEXN3T - 3day
what if i ALSO have a history of abandonment/abuse by friends and have been trained to believe that every relationship of every type is fake and that this is proof that im a test subject of international importance and im also a we and we are screaming at ourselves
i love this brain
2
Catoblepas - 3day
For me personally, I consider this a side effect of being raised by a fundamentalist Christian sect. Turns out you internalize it when a ton of authority figures in your life tell you that you’re fundamentally evil and deserve to burn in hell! (This had nothing to do with me personally, all congregants heard it)
12
cassandrafatigue @lemmy.dbzer0.com - 3day
Well, hell must be pretty great if all the cool people all the scientists and half the engineers go there. With all that free geothermal energy? I bet it's a paradise by now.
7
Rose Thorne(She/Her) - 3day
For me it was the musicians. Wasn't the key thing that broke me out of the Christian Guilt Cycle, but hearing "the best musicians go to Hell" was a nice, extra wedge.
Like, really, you think I wanna miss the greatest show that could ever be to go play a fucking harp on some cloud? Fuck that.
2
cassandrafatigue @lemmy.dbzer0.com - 3day
Well they have like... Maybe Bach? He's pretty good. But about half the stuff attributed to him is actually by his wife, and she's in hell, so...
3
gnutrino @programming.dev - 3day
“Listen," said Crowley desperately, "how many musicians do you think your side have got, eh? First grade, I mean."
Aziraphale looked taken aback.
"Well, I should think-" he began.
"Two," said Crowley. "Elgar and Liszt. That's all. We've got the rest. Beethoven, Brahms, all the Bachs, Mozart, the lot. Can you imagine eternity with Elgar?"
3
Aatube - 3day
about half the stuff attributed to him is actually by his wife
sauce?
2
cassandrafatigue @lemmy.dbzer0.com - 3day
Some shit I heard like fifteen years ago, but apparently he wasn't even being a dick? People just went through and found originals of stuff attributed to him,and its got her name on it; which isn't strange, I guess she was also a pretty well known musician at the time.
The archive erased a bitch.
2
lugal @lemmy.dbzer0.com - 3day
The social variant of impostor syndrome
11
Asafum @feddit.nl - 3day
Literally me. "You just don't actually know me. I'm really just true shit underneath!"
8
Ex Nummis - 3day
Nah, most people saw right through that and turned tail.
Except when you have a personality disorder. People have no problem telling you you're the evil kind of crazy and that's why it's fine for them to treat you like garbage.
compostgoblin in onehundredninetysix
Tricking people into thinking I'm rule
https://piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone/posts/ZB/ML/ZBMLpTomTjHqVN3.jpegOkay, here's a radical thought that has actually helped me overcome this attitude:
Who the fuck do you think you are to discard everyone else's opinions like that?
Maybe give the people who love and support you a little more credit?
For me it was my therapist going "you think all those people are lying to you just to be polite?"
Why yes, I do think that, but when you put it that way it makes me feel stupid for thinking that.
I lie to people just to be polite. But I don't lie to my friends. But what if they aren't actually my friends and they talk to me just to be polite? But...
It's a spiral that probably won't end until I'm alone
Or until you learn to differentiate between those behaviors, thought patterns, and underlying beliefs that make your life better in the present moment and those that pull you down.
There's always a good reason why we've adopted these behaviors-- maybe they were crucial to our survival at one point. But that was then and this is now.
Working through all that is not an easy task. In fact, it can be hard work. But it's so, so valuable. And when you commit to it you will see real progress.
All the best to you and everyone else who feels they are in this situation.
For me it was realizing I'm "just" OK.
I'm not special in any way. Neither am I a particularly bad person nor am I a particularly good person. And being OK is honestly enough as there is no obligation to do good – you are only obligated to not do harm.
There's a lot of room for me to be a better person but so is there to be a worse one.
I've never had such a problem as I call myself evil and see no desire to change that. (Though nobody would call me evil)
what if i ALSO have a history of abandonment/abuse by friends and have been trained to believe that every relationship of every type is fake and that this is proof that im a test subject of international importance and im also a we and we are screaming at ourselves
i love this brain
For me personally, I consider this a side effect of being raised by a fundamentalist Christian sect. Turns out you internalize it when a ton of authority figures in your life tell you that you’re fundamentally evil and deserve to burn in hell! (This had nothing to do with me personally, all congregants heard it)
Well, hell must be pretty great if all the cool people all the scientists and half the engineers go there. With all that free geothermal energy? I bet it's a paradise by now.
For me it was the musicians. Wasn't the key thing that broke me out of the Christian Guilt Cycle, but hearing "the best musicians go to Hell" was a nice, extra wedge.
Like, really, you think I wanna miss the greatest show that could ever be to go play a fucking harp on some cloud? Fuck that.
Well they have like... Maybe Bach? He's pretty good. But about half the stuff attributed to him is actually by his wife, and she's in hell, so...
sauce?
Some shit I heard like fifteen years ago, but apparently he wasn't even being a dick? People just went through and found originals of stuff attributed to him,and its got her name on it; which isn't strange, I guess she was also a pretty well known musician at the time.
The archive erased a bitch.
The social variant of impostor syndrome
Literally me. "You just don't actually know me. I'm really just true shit underneath!"
Nah, most people saw right through that and turned tail.
https://startrek.website/pictrs/image/3938a2cc-9d4b-48a0-b5c6-4dc1f9d772f6.webp
I hear you group, but trust me, the bad people aren't worried about tricking people into thinking they're nice; it's a conquest for them.
Don't worry they don't really think you're nice they are just being polite.
getoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyhead
Except when you have a personality disorder. People have no problem telling you you're the evil kind of crazy and that's why it's fine for them to treat you like garbage.
Yeah, me...
You might not be nice, but then at least be kind.
:)
(help)