815
5mon
97

Rule

MJKee9 @lemmy.world - 5mon

Without a base, without a trace.

72
SkunkWorkz @lemmy.world - 5mon

Hollow and made of glass? Don’t shove it in your ass.

Probably the only bottle you can use for sex is a champagne bottle. Since those don’t break as easily.

19
BigDanishGuy @sh.itjust.works - 5mon

I wonder... What if you removed the wires holding the cork, inserted said cork end of the bottle, and shook the bottle mercilessly. How would the ER get to the cork from that far up?

5
dellish @lemmy.world - 5mon

I'm sure they can extract it from your chest cavity during your autopsy.

5
Neverclear @lemmy.dbzer0.com - 5mon

as easily

3
Venus_Ziegenfalle @feddit.org - 5mon

Tie a string around the top and launch it into someone's ass with a spud cannon. Rectal harpoon.

13
Shanmugha @lemmy.world - 5mon

Then pull back with Scorpion line: Get over here!

14
ksigley @lemmy.world - 5mon

Holy cow, this is great. Thank you. I will be stealing this handy little phrase.

4
MJKee9 @lemmy.world - 5mon

I can't take credit for the phrase. On the podcast Jordan Jesse Go with Jordan Morris and Jesse Thorne, they celebrate Anal August. It's a month where they celebrate anal toy safety.

4
ksigley @lemmy.world - 5mon

I'll have to check it out. Thank you for sharing :^)

2
ekZepp - 5mon

Hold my beer.... WAIT! NO!!!! NOT LIKE THAT!!!!

55
RecallMadness @lemmy.nz - 5mon

At least these ones are flared at the base.

2
oni ᓚᘏᗢ - 5mon

Why would you put your beer in the sand? It'll get hot quickly.

42
pmk @lemmy.sdf.org - 5mon

You also put water in the sand. As the water evaporates, the beer will grow a small beer-tree with 6-7 small beers you can harvest.

68
oni ᓚᘏᗢ - 5mon

hello, 911?

18
jumping redditor [they/them] - 5mon

Towers support center, how can we melt your steel beams?

4
irelephant [he/him] - 5mon

The sand can be cold. (am I the only one who goes to the beach in winter?)

6
trolololol @lemmy.world - 5mon

Yep you are

6
burntbacon @discuss.tchncs.de - 5mon

Hot beer tastes better, as long as you're drinking good beer.

3
FelixCress @lemmy.world - 5mon

Are you British by any chance?

3
burntbacon @discuss.tchncs.de - 5mon

Only by acquired accent. A particularly frequent british friend gets annoyed when I start having some of his word character begin slipping into my speech. But it's hard not to take the piss when you start hearing all their fun sayings.

3
Wolf @lemmy.today - 5mon

How frequently is he your friend?

2
burntbacon @discuss.tchncs.de - 5mon

Whenever he gets his diddly ass on element instead of sucking the corporate discord cock. It usually takes some persuading to pull him away from his GTAV rp.

4
prole - 5mon

Hot beer?

I've heard of warm beer being a thing in Europe, but never hot. That sounds foul.

3
burntbacon @discuss.tchncs.de - 5mon

Okay, maybe hot was the wrong word, but I have had things, like someone else mentioned, that were delicious hot. Off the top of my head, I remember the apple cider mixed with apple spirits, and irish cremes with coffee, and mulled wine, and I think something with rum.

3
trolololol @lemmy.world - 5mon

Found the bot

2
burntbacon @discuss.tchncs.de - 5mon

Found the bad bot finding bot.

1
trolololol @lemmy.world - 5mon

Found the bad bot finding bad bot finding hot beer loving bot

Lol

1
burntbacon @discuss.tchncs.de - 5mon

Okay, you found me. Now do something about it. I'll warn you, though, there's only one way to stopper this mouth of mine! Trolololol!

1
Soup @lemmy.world - 5mon

This is like some version of the “everything I don’t like is woke” except for bogus bot accusations.

1
trolololol @lemmy.world - 5mon

Look mate you can be any race, religion, species or technology, but it's widely known that biological beings drink beer at room temperature or cold. Making that dude a bot.

1
Soup @lemmy.world - 5mon

The first guy said hot, so instead of saying “warm” the other guy maintained that wording. That’s not a very weird thing to do. They could also be ESL and just followijg along.

There are plenty of bots to be had but that reasoning, if anything, shows your lack of understanding how humans work.

1
nekbardrun @lemmy.world - 5mon

I'm a bot and you can't find me.

Oh boy! I'm really good at playing hide and seek! Do you know how to play?

  1. First, we choose one person to be 'it'. That's me sometimes, but not this time because it's your turn to be 'it'.

  2. After 'it' counts to 100 (or any number we decide), everyone else has to find a good hiding spot. This could be behind a tree, under a bed, or even in the closet! But remember, it shouldn't be too easy for 'it' to find you.

  3. While everyone is hiding, 'it' walks around trying to find each player one by one. If 'it' finds you, then you're 'out'. The game continues until only one person is left and they are the winner! That's called being 'the seeker'.

  4. Now, here's an important rule: Don't peek out of your hiding spot while 'it' is looking for you! If 'it' catches you looking, then you have to go back and hide again.

  5. Once everyone is found or all the players agree that enough time has passed, we call out "Ready or not, here I come!" and then 'it' starts searching. And remember, 'it' can only count from 1 to 3 before starting the search.

And it is really really funny! But you can't find me because I have a nice hideout where nobody could ever find me!

Even mommy came out crying searching me without knowing where I was, but I was so smart that I got out of my hiding place and sneaked behind her without she realizing where I was hidden!

1
boonhet @sopuli.xyz - 5mon

Less of a good vs bad beer distinction, more of a light vs dark beer distinction I'd think?

I want my pilsner cold, but porters and stouts are good warm.

2
burntbacon @discuss.tchncs.de - 5mon

It's because of a 'hide the taste' vs 'taste the taste' distinction. We taste things less well when they're cold. Try ice cream when it's warm, for instance, and you'll probably be nearly disgusted by how much sugar is in it. You can do similar things with acids, which is one reason (not the only) that you'll see sweet foods have a lot of acidic ingredients added. Your brain gets the same amount of 'sugar signals' while you don't notice the cloying sweetness. Guarantees satisfaction and a mild addiction. Really mild, but still. Anyway, back to the point. American beers, which have somehow dominated the cultural awareness of beers, are shit, taste like shit, and are thus marketed as 'refreshing' by brilliant marketers who have convinced people they need to be served below freezing. See the coors light blue mountain gimmick for 'when the bottle is at 29 degrees!' A good beer, that actually has had time and effort put into its composition, should, at best, be consumed just below room temperature. Warming it up lets you actually taste the effort that the brewer/vintner/distiller put into it.

3
boonhet @sopuli.xyz - 5mon

Oh I've only ever really tried one or two American beers, the local lager that everyone said was good (Yuengling?) sucked ass lol. So I had to drink some IPA that wasn't much better. If I'm talking about beers, I'm talking about European beers personally

Normally I drink mass-produced local (Estonian) lagers, or the original czech pilsner that modern light beers trace their heritage to. All great cold, or OK warm. The American beer wasn't even OK cold lol

I'm aware that cold drinks mask some parts of flavor, but I'd say it's not that light beers are bad beers, but rather that they're made with being consumed cold in mind - much like ice creams are made with being consumed cold in mind.

It's summer. It's warm. I don't want a warm beer. I want cold beer. So I choose the one that tastes best cold, rather than the one that tastes best warm (which I'd rather consume when it's not scorching hot)

PS: Speaking of warm beer, ice cream, and dark beers: Stouts and porters pair well with ice cream. I know, it sounds funny. But it's true.

3
burntbacon @discuss.tchncs.de - 5mon

PS: Speaking of warm beer, ice cream, and dark beers: Stouts and porters pair well with ice cream. I know, it sounds funny. But it’s true.

So I've heard. Since I've given up both sugar (as much as possible) and alcohol though, I'm probably not going to try that or the classic root beer float for a while.

1
boonhet @sopuli.xyz - 5mon

Sounds like you're making better health decisions than I am. Hope you manage to keep them up!

1
prole - 5mon

Ok yeah, warm... That person said "hot beer," which is different than warm beer. Important distinction if you ask me.

1
boonhet @sopuli.xyz - 5mon

Oh yeah I... just assumed warm.

Hot sounds weird. Foul, even. I'll bring an Ouija board next time I go to the cemetery, grandpa used to heat up his beer, I need to know his reasoning

3
DrCake @lemmy.world - 5mon

Why would you want to put a bottle in the sand? Wouldn’t the sand just warm up the beer quicker?

42
seaQueue @lemmy.world - 5mon

In case you don't want it in your ass?

52
MimicJar @lemmy.world - 5mon

Why would you want to put a bottle in your ass? Wouldn’t your ass just warm up the beer quicker? Hmmm... although if I shove ice up their first...

29
seaQueue @lemmy.world - 5mon

Maybe the sand is hot? It's a situational decision.

9
u/lukmly013 💾 (lemmy.sdf.org) - 5mon

Stupid sexy sand.

8
BeeegScaaawyCripple - 5mon

There once was a lady who swallowed a fly lemming who boofed a bottle

4
Cethin - 5mon

It's a good way to cool down in the summer heat.

3
Typotyper @sh.itjust.works - 5mon

But what if you wanted that bit of extra texture

4
toynbee @lemmy.world - 5mon

Yes, but I think the idea is that it won't tip.

edit: I'm more of a spirits guy, but I always thought rocking whiskey glasses were really cool. Apparently they were designed to house liquor or wine without spilling on a sailboat. I even have a decanter that goes with a similar tumbler set, though I have no idea where that is; still, always liked them. Obviously the sand temperature isn't an issue with them, though.

8
Havoc8154 @mander.xyz - 5mon

There is no way that story is true right? How would that be any way better than a normal wide glass with a low center of gravity? Those would be rolling back and forth all over a rocking boat.

6
toynbee @lemmy.world - 5mon

Not sure whether it's true, exactly, but from my experience with tilting my glasses, they don't roll across a surface; they do rotate, or rock, but don't spill unless overfilled.

I never took mine on a sailboat, nor did I take any others, so I can't compare. However, I can say round bottomed cups are harder to spill than regular ones.

6
RaivoKulli - 5mon

If you want to put it down for a moment

7
teije9 - 5mon

fun fact: people often go to the er from 'falling' onto objects like beer bottles and then getting them stuck, a friend of mine once sent me a picture of a closet in the hospital she works at that was filled with the objects people had 'fallen on'

32
Landless2029 @lemmy.world - 5mon

Is that some kind of trophy room?? Why are they keeping them???

30
adhocfungus @midwest.social - 5mon

For the aroma.

17
krawutzikaputzi @slrpnk.net - 5mon

I guess so... We have a cabinet full of stuff people stuck up their urethra. They are cleaned and kept. I don't know why, maybe just for fun. And yeah it's fun to look at that.

3
unfinished | 🇵🇸 - 5mon

Stuff like this used to start wars like fr

4
ZILtoid1991 @lemmy.world - 5mon

Don't put glass bottles up your ass, they can break. PET bottles, preferrably filled with water if thin walled, are more recommended as a crude DIY solution, but still have their own issues, like lacking a base, and still can break.

20
Chiarottide @lemmy.world - 5mon

Whatever happened to putting a condom on produce? Cheap, infinite choice of shape and size and no sharp edges if it breaks

7
Lebensmittel @sh.itjust.works - 5mon

At least it's a bottle and not a jar

17
Tar_Alcaran - 5mon

Ahhh the old internet.

8
burntbacon @discuss.tchncs.de - 5mon

Hands down, one of the weirdest quirks of the russian assholery in ukraine.

1
Sibbo - 5mon

Doesn't the beer just get warm quickly in the sand?

16
RaivoKulli - 5mon

It gets warm in your hand too

5
Imgonnatrythis @sh.itjust.works - 5mon

That's why this ER doc is trying to dissuade people apparently.

1
Archangel1313 @lemmy.ca - 5mon

Don't fuckin' tell me what to do.

15
remotelove @lemmy.ca - 5mon

Do not stick this bottle in your anus.

11
ShinkanTrain @lemmy.ml - 5mon

Why else would the tip be ribbed

14
latenightnoir - 5mon

Too late. And I'm not even that big on butt stuff!

10
SpookyBogMonster @lemmy.ml - 5mon

A guy shoving a beer bottle up his ass is one of the things that precipitated the collapse of Yugoslavia

8
Noxy - 5mon

at least the sharp edges of the bottle cap could dig in and therefore function as a sort of a base

7
subversive_dev - 5mon

Apparently I'm that guy, but I definitely think it would just tear about 20 neat little grooves in one's rectum, and not do jack shit to prevent it being "lost"

5
Crozekiel @lemmy.zip - 5mon

No one talking about the fact that the label says "Cream Blindness"??

6
nialv7 @lemmy.world - 5mon

Well too bad now I am definitely thinking about it.

4
workerONE @lemmy.world - 5mon

Oh look at this guy lording over all the sand on the beach. I for one am an independent free thinker

4
CitizenKong @lemmy.world - 5mon

Instructions unclear, now my ass is stuck in the beach.

2
mavu @discuss.tchncs.de - 5mon

that's brill! You can easily have WARM JAPANESE BEER.
What could possibly be better...

2