what is it with calling social phenomena deseases like, "woke mind virus" and "lonely mess epidemic"
these are covid words but they didn't tale covid serious, it's kinda weird
oc (kinda)
PotatoesFall @discuss.tchncs.de - 9mon
It may not be a "loneliness epidemic" (at least not only for men) but imho there certainly is an issue with men having a hard time finding a positive relationship to their gender, and loneliness probably does play some part in it.
68
nimpnin @sopuli.xyz - 9mon
There was this one study that found that people have significantly fewer close friends than 30 years ago, and for men, the change was larger. I would call that a loneliness epidemic.
68
PotatoesFall @discuss.tchncs.de - 9mon
I don't mean loneliness in the sense of not having a romantic/sexual partner, I mean loneliness in the sense of feeling abandoned in a hyperindividualistic capitalist society.
They put you in a green suit and give you a flying saucer it's lowkey kinda fire
2
daniskarma @lemmy.dbzer0.com - 9mon
There's a male loneliness epidemic. And everyone who denies, mock it or victim blame on it is a terrible human being. IMHO people who suffer is not to make fun of. Empathy must be the basis for any moral system.
We can discuss the causes and solutions to it all day long. But sadly is such a politicized theme that agenda will come before any rational analysis. And that just saddens me. Because lots of people out there needs help, needs society to be better, and others just decide to bully them.
The fact that someone says ridiculous things like "women are dishwashers", doesn't mean that their thesis "there is a male loneliness epidemic", is incorrect. Additionally, if their arguments are completely wrong, it doesn't automatically mean their thesis is wrong.
Furthermore, I personally do think that there's a male loneliness epidemic. While people like Andrew Tate are definitely having a bad influence, we should think, "why are these people popular? What draws young men to listen to misogynists?". And the reason (I think), is because young men are simply neglected by society, and are generally quite lonely. As a young man myself, I think it is actually kind of hard to make friends. Other men expect me to be "masculine" (aka, be an asshole, be tough, etc.) and simultaneously I'm very reluctant to make friends with women, because I'm kind of scared of falsely being accused of sexual harassment.
I feel like if I say or do the wrong thing (which excludes physically harassing someone), there's a risk of a woman completely ruining my life by simply accusing me of harassing her. And while the accusation might not become a proper conviction (or even prosecution), the accusation itself is already incredibly harmful for my reputation.
So to avoid that altogether, I simply avoid women in general. Or at least, I don't approach them. I don't talk to them, unless they talk to me first. Because if I make the wrong move, if I look at them the wrong way, my life might already be over.
Does this mean I hate women? No. It simply means I hate how people immediately jump to conclusions when they read "man accused of harassing a woman". Personally, when I read that headline, I don't immediately think less of that man, unless he's been found guilty of it.
Does this make me an incel? I don't really know; I don't think I'm owed sex in any way, and I don't think women inherently hate me the moment they see me. I do wish I could have a more feminine friend circle, because it's currently all men. But yeah, I think things are kinda fucked up right now, but simultaneously I honestly don't really know what I (or we as a society) could do to fix this.
29
oortjunk - 9mon
That's a stunningly good picture of Jordan Peterson. Usually he looks like a piece of very well used chamois cloth.
25
yesman @lemmy.world - 9mon
The MRA types think that men are owed affection, companionship, and love. And society must change (revert) to accommodate them. So in that since, "male loneliness" is a stalking horse for loss of status and a return to traditional gender rolls. The radicals in this movement just wanna go back farther. To the 50s! The seventeen fifties.
But even if your not a chud, individualism and alienation have created a circumstance where forming and maintaining human relationships isn't valued or supported. And men suffer more because they lack the institutional support of feminism.
Women got Judith Butler to tell them that gender was something they owned and controlled. Men got Jordan Peterson to tell them that gender is a prison and if women don't get back in their cells, we're all doomed.
18
Nat (she/they) - 9mon
If only they could listen to feminists and see the actual (self-imposed) problem
16
ℍ𝕂-𝟞𝟝 - 9mon
So say I'm lonely because I have few friends I can barely afford to meet.
How can feminists help me?
17
NoneOfUrBusiness - 9mon
You can radicalize them and seize the means of production together.
31
ExtraPartsLeft @lemmy.world - 9mon
Online table top RPGs. All of my (mostly male) gaming buddies are feminists, and they help me be less lonely. You can play for free with very little effort.
10
silverhand @reddthat.com - 9mon
Except time is not "free". When someone says they can't afford hanging out they usually mean they don't have time, not that they don't have petty cash to spend on a weekend.
5
ExtraPartsLeft @lemmy.world - 9mon
The person I responded to said nothing about why they couldn't afford to meet. So I interpreted it as the common usage of it to mean financially. If someone can't afford a few hours a week when they are lonely to get online and play a game, well, that sucks, and I can't help them from this side of my screen. So I offered an idea as the only help I can give.
2
spooky2092 - 9mon
You can play for free with very little effort.
I've thought about doing this, but I have no idea where to even start to find a group playing the games I wanna play.
4
ExtraPartsLeft @lemmy.world - 9mon
Roll20 has a way to find others online. I've been extremely lucky and meet someone in college that loves to DM. Several of the people in the group I'm in found each other through that before I joined.
3
Reyali @lemm.ee - 9mon
Look for local game shops and see what they have available; start connecting with the folks there even if it’s not necessarily the games you want to play because the more you build those connections, the more likely you are to end up with a group that does.
If you live somewhere that doesn’t have local game shops, there are online groups. I’ve been out of it long enough to not know what to suggest here specifically though.
3
magic_smoke - 9mon
Same except instead of hating everything its literally because I'm not a dude and straight ladies saw it before I did lmao.
You'd think the fact that every girl I've fucked around with has been queer in some way would've been a hint.
14
metaStatic - 9mon
lonely mess epidemic
I'm stealing this so hard
8
Aggravationstation @feddit.uk - 9mon
The fact that there are brain dead misogynists ranting on the internet and a societal issue of loneliness aren't connected and its bullshit to try and make that connection.
8
Match!! - 9mon
I'd open a sentō if the government were giving me money but good luck convincing American men that it's not gay
not_IO in 196
rule
what is it with calling social phenomena deseases like, "woke mind virus" and "lonely mess epidemic"
these are covid words but they didn't tale covid serious, it's kinda weird
oc (kinda)
It may not be a "loneliness epidemic" (at least not only for men) but imho there certainly is an issue with men having a hard time finding a positive relationship to their gender, and loneliness probably does play some part in it.
There was this one study that found that people have significantly fewer close friends than 30 years ago, and for men, the change was larger. I would call that a loneliness epidemic.
I don't mean loneliness in the sense of not having a romantic/sexual partner, I mean loneliness in the sense of feeling abandoned in a hyperindividualistic capitalist society.
Alienation?
Maybe social atomization?
i found the german term "vereinzelung" for this
vereinzelung führt zu vereinsamung
es gibt einen verlust an sozialem zusammenhalt.
They put you in a green suit and give you a flying saucer it's lowkey kinda fire
There's a male loneliness epidemic. And everyone who denies, mock it or victim blame on it is a terrible human being. IMHO people who suffer is not to make fun of. Empathy must be the basis for any moral system.
We can discuss the causes and solutions to it all day long. But sadly is such a politicized theme that agenda will come before any rational analysis. And that just saddens me. Because lots of people out there needs help, needs society to be better, and others just decide to bully them.
This is a prime example of the fallacy fallacy, and maybe also ad hominem.
The fact that someone says ridiculous things like "women are dishwashers", doesn't mean that their thesis "there is a male loneliness epidemic", is incorrect. Additionally, if their arguments are completely wrong, it doesn't automatically mean their thesis is wrong.
Furthermore, I personally do think that there's a male loneliness epidemic. While people like Andrew Tate are definitely having a bad influence, we should think, "why are these people popular? What draws young men to listen to misogynists?". And the reason (I think), is because young men are simply neglected by society, and are generally quite lonely. As a young man myself, I think it is actually kind of hard to make friends. Other men expect me to be "masculine" (aka, be an asshole, be tough, etc.) and simultaneously I'm very reluctant to make friends with women, because I'm kind of scared of falsely being accused of sexual harassment.
I feel like if I say or do the wrong thing (which excludes physically harassing someone), there's a risk of a woman completely ruining my life by simply accusing me of harassing her. And while the accusation might not become a proper conviction (or even prosecution), the accusation itself is already incredibly harmful for my reputation.
So to avoid that altogether, I simply avoid women in general. Or at least, I don't approach them. I don't talk to them, unless they talk to me first. Because if I make the wrong move, if I look at them the wrong way, my life might already be over.
Does this mean I hate women? No. It simply means I hate how people immediately jump to conclusions when they read "man accused of harassing a woman". Personally, when I read that headline, I don't immediately think less of that man, unless he's been found guilty of it.
Does this make me an incel? I don't really know; I don't think I'm owed sex in any way, and I don't think women inherently hate me the moment they see me. I do wish I could have a more feminine friend circle, because it's currently all men. But yeah, I think things are kinda fucked up right now, but simultaneously I honestly don't really know what I (or we as a society) could do to fix this.
That's a stunningly good picture of Jordan Peterson. Usually he looks like a piece of very well used chamois cloth.
The MRA types think that men are owed affection, companionship, and love. And society must change (revert) to accommodate them. So in that since, "male loneliness" is a stalking horse for loss of status and a return to traditional gender rolls. The radicals in this movement just wanna go back farther. To the 50s! The seventeen fifties.
But even if your not a chud, individualism and alienation have created a circumstance where forming and maintaining human relationships isn't valued or supported. And men suffer more because they lack the institutional support of feminism.
Women got Judith Butler to tell them that gender was something they owned and controlled. Men got Jordan Peterson to tell them that gender is a prison and if women don't get back in their cells, we're all doomed.
If only they could listen to feminists and see the actual (self-imposed) problem
So say I'm lonely because I have few friends I can barely afford to meet.
How can feminists help me?
You can radicalize them and seize the means of production together.
Online table top RPGs. All of my (mostly male) gaming buddies are feminists, and they help me be less lonely. You can play for free with very little effort.
Except time is not "free". When someone says they can't afford hanging out they usually mean they don't have time, not that they don't have petty cash to spend on a weekend.
The person I responded to said nothing about why they couldn't afford to meet. So I interpreted it as the common usage of it to mean financially. If someone can't afford a few hours a week when they are lonely to get online and play a game, well, that sucks, and I can't help them from this side of my screen. So I offered an idea as the only help I can give.
I've thought about doing this, but I have no idea where to even start to find a group playing the games I wanna play.
Roll20 has a way to find others online. I've been extremely lucky and meet someone in college that loves to DM. Several of the people in the group I'm in found each other through that before I joined.
Look for local game shops and see what they have available; start connecting with the folks there even if it’s not necessarily the games you want to play because the more you build those connections, the more likely you are to end up with a group that does.
If you live somewhere that doesn’t have local game shops, there are online groups. I’ve been out of it long enough to not know what to suggest here specifically though.
Same except instead of hating everything its literally because I'm not a dude and straight ladies saw it before I did lmao.
You'd think the fact that every girl I've fucked around with has been queer in some way would've been a hint.
I'm stealing this so hard
The fact that there are brain dead misogynists ranting on the internet and a societal issue of loneliness aren't connected and its bullshit to try and make that connection.
I'd open a sentō if the government were giving me money but good luck convincing American men that it's not gay