I don’t think the person on the left’s a transphobe, but I also don’t think they understand the scale of the harassment trans people face on a daily basis. Like it’s so bad the users would rather just have potential trolls ignored and downvoted than to see well meaning cis people come in and do vigilante justice using the same tactics of abuse trans people go through every day.
That empathetic disconnect looks like transphobia to some users. I don’t know that the users are right, but I understand how you reached that conclusion, especially with the person on the left’s days-long soapbox crashout about how despotic Ada is.
Tar_Alcaran - 12mon
I honestly don't understand the whole problem from anyone. I hit the block button after 1 post, and I'm just shaking my head every time. I did the same for the person who insists on having their pronouns capitalized or something (and I'm reasonably sure it's the same person, but eh, block and move on).
It costs you nothing, it takes basically no time at all, and it makes your life and everyone else's experience better. Like blocking .ml
57
Idreamofcheesy @lemmy.world - 12mon
I annoyed myself for ten minutes reading their posts, realized they were a teenager looking for attention, and blocked.
Boom, no problems.
30
TotallynotJessica - 12mon
I didn't block anyone, yet the discussion has been the most annoying thing for me. Can we just move on?
8
Deme - 12mon
I may be out of the loop:
What's up with .ml?
6
Tar_Alcaran - 12mon
Lemmy.ml is the marxist-lenninist instance. It's VERY marxist-lenninist
13
festnt @sh.itjust.works - 12mon
oh so thats what the .ml means
3
megopie - 12mon
There are a lot of people on it with very strong opinions that fall well outside the norm. From my experience, most of what goes on there is pretty innocuous, occasionally I’ll see something on the all page from there that makes me raise an eyebrow in disbelief, but like, not often enough to be a serious bother for me TBH.
6
cccc0 @sh.itjust.works - 12mon
The more people passionately post about drama on a meme page, the less I care about it.
46
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 12mon
this is a symptom of you caring more about the memes than the community, and that’s fine. :) its good to be aware of your opinions on things /gen
14
Deestan @lemmy.world - 12mon
It is nice to see a meme poking fun of and criticizing the "leavers" without twisting and misrepresenting their views.
24
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 12mon
glad to hear you felt this was fair. i had a long conversation with one and so did my best to be as charitable as possible with what i learned.
13
Sasha [They/Them] - 12mon
Leaving the instance or blocking someone isn't transphobic, but not respecting their pronouns is. It's that simple.
17
kate - 12mon
hi spujb
17
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 12mon
hi 😳
18
kate - 12mon
helo im kate
12
TriflingToad @sh.itjust.works - 12mon
nice to meet you, kate
2
kate - 12mon
henlo what are ur pronouns happy new year
2
unalivejoy - 12mon
"I'm leaving."
doesn't leave
13
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 12mon
homies this is blahaj, not an airport terminal. no need to announce your departure 😆
12
unalivejoy - 12mon
However much time you spent on that was time well spent.
3
RedSeries @lemmy.world - 12mon
DISCLAIMER: Any "you" used in this comment is the royal "you", not directed at OP but more at those with attitudes like the person being referenced in the meme.
The drama post I saw around this was full of people being upset that their words both caused harm and had consequences. And I personally feel they were being transphobic. Misgendering and disrespecting another person's identity is where my line of transphobia is. If you think (for example) calling Elon something like "Elonia" is a valid take, I know how seriously you'll take my identity when we butt heads
Like OF COURSE you can leave, why should any of us care? OF COURSE you can disrespect someone's identity, just deal with not being allowed in inclusive spaces. OF COURSE you can post that drama like you're the victim, just don't expect to change the minds of those who deal with your shit every day. OF COURSE you're not "transphobic", you're just a cunt. You'd only ever call yourself a transphobe if it were trendy. You have trans people in your life, so you could NEVER be transphobic. 🙄
12
mke @programming.dev - 12mon
Sorry for responding to your serious comment with such a dumb thing, but shouldn't it be queerphobic or something else? I thought transphobia pertained to cases involving trans folk.
Could ask a search engine, but sometimes communities like this have a more nuanced answer.
7
AlexanderTheDead @lemmy.world - 12mon
I'd say anybody who is gender-nonconforming, non-binary, etc, is trans.
They may not always suffer from the same level of transphobia as MtFs or FtMs, but they are no longer identifying as the gender they were assigned at birth. That makes them trans, imo.
7
mke @programming.dev - 12mon
That's surprising. But this feels like a nice way to frame it, if so:
... they are no longer identifying as the gender they were assigned at birth. That makes them trans ...
The other commenter mentioned this might be casting too wide a net, and I lean towards the "abolish gender" team, myself, so I'd be curious to hear what others think about it, especially MtF, FtM and similar(?) people.
4
Kit - 12mon
I'm FtM and have the same mindset of the above poster regarding the definition of "trans" but if a non binary person asks me to not refer to them as trans, then I'll certainly respect that.
2
RedSeries @lemmy.world - 12mon
I don't think that's a dumb thing to ask at all! It might be that queerphobic is a better term. I don't know the best term for the fear or aversion to identities outside of the binary/non-binary that most are accustomed to. I personally tend to put that under the transphobic umbrella.
4
ImplyingImplications @lemmy.ca - 12mon
So you can post this meme, but if I post the exact same meme with the speech bubbles reversed it will be removed for "gatekeeping". Do I understand that correctly?
10
hex @programming.dev - 12mon
It makes no sense reversed
18
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 12mon
“what if the roles were reversed?” -mfs in a situation where the roles are never reversed XD
35
HEXN3T - 12mon
What if YOU were the billionaire!?
21
ImplyingImplications @lemmy.ca - 12mon
You literally made a meme calling out a specific user. The meme explains that if you see a user behaving in a way you don't like to just report, ignore, and let the mods handle it instead of issuing vigilante justice.
Would you consider this post ignoring the user you don't like and letting the mods handle things or would it be vigilante justice?
6
hex @programming.dev - 12mon
This post is humour + commentary. No one was called out.
10
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 12mon
entire drama communities: freak out about a situation for days on end
me: does commentary
self-absorbed mfs: this must be about me, in particular
12
ImplyingImplications @lemmy.ca - 12mon
especially with the person on the left’s days-long soapbox crashout about how despotic Ada is.
This is just generic commentary not directed at any user in particular?
5
hex @programming.dev - 12mon
I'm not aware of the full story, nor am I being told anyone is a terrible person. I guess it's an if-you-know-you-know scenario. I don't think it's villainising anyone.
8
ImplyingImplications @lemmy.ca - 12mon
The OP has recently spent some time arguing with another user. The commentary by the OP is this comment by them except they changed the username to "the person on the left".
Nobody is a terrible person. I just think it's hypocritical to say making posts like this isn't the exact type of behaviour the server admins have requested users not engage in.
7
RedSeries @lemmy.world - 12mon
Which user was called out? I don't see a name in the post.
8
ImplyingImplications @lemmy.ca - 12mon
The user you replied to with this comment that I can't actually quote because it breaks this community's rules.
4
yuri @pawb.social - 12mon
my ass had to take a day off the internet, shit was tiring.
you’re one of the real ones, spujb
9
🏳️⚧️MiaCD🏳️⚧️ - 12mon
comment for someone's comment that I remember but don't remember where I saw it and I dont care enough to find it and I assume it was removed anyway:
"trans women are women. dragons arent real."
okie Im a neutron star then, those r real :3
8
kittenzrulz123 - 12mon
I can block a few people but I cant get my community back after it was killed :c
(Also my worry is that trolls will eventually kill this instance)
spujb in 196
more rules analysis
https://files.catbox.moe/9ldpra.jpegI don’t think the person on the left’s a transphobe, but I also don’t think they understand the scale of the harassment trans people face on a daily basis. Like it’s so bad the users would rather just have potential trolls ignored and downvoted than to see well meaning cis people come in and do vigilante justice using the same tactics of abuse trans people go through every day.
That empathetic disconnect looks like transphobia to some users. I don’t know that the users are right, but I understand how you reached that conclusion, especially with the person on the left’s days-long soapbox crashout about how despotic Ada is.
I honestly don't understand the whole problem from anyone. I hit the block button after 1 post, and I'm just shaking my head every time. I did the same for the person who insists on having their pronouns capitalized or something (and I'm reasonably sure it's the same person, but eh, block and move on).
It costs you nothing, it takes basically no time at all, and it makes your life and everyone else's experience better. Like blocking .ml
I annoyed myself for ten minutes reading their posts, realized they were a teenager looking for attention, and blocked.
Boom, no problems.
I didn't block anyone, yet the discussion has been the most annoying thing for me. Can we just move on?
I may be out of the loop:
What's up with .ml?
Lemmy.ml is the marxist-lenninist instance. It's VERY marxist-lenninist
oh so thats what the .ml means
There are a lot of people on it with very strong opinions that fall well outside the norm. From my experience, most of what goes on there is pretty innocuous, occasionally I’ll see something on the all page from there that makes me raise an eyebrow in disbelief, but like, not often enough to be a serious bother for me TBH.
The more people passionately post about drama on a meme page, the less I care about it.
this is a symptom of you caring more about the memes than the community, and that’s fine. :) its good to be aware of your opinions on things /gen
It is nice to see a meme poking fun of and criticizing the "leavers" without twisting and misrepresenting their views.
glad to hear you felt this was fair. i had a long conversation with one and so did my best to be as charitable as possible with what i learned.
Leaving the instance or blocking someone isn't transphobic, but not respecting their pronouns is. It's that simple.
hi spujb
hi 😳
helo im kate
nice to meet you, kate
henlo what are ur pronouns happy new year
"I'm leaving."
doesn't leave
homies this is blahaj, not an airport terminal. no need to announce your departure 😆
However much time you spent on that was time well spent.
DISCLAIMER: Any "you" used in this comment is the royal "you", not directed at OP but more at those with attitudes like the person being referenced in the meme.
The drama post I saw around this was full of people being upset that their words both caused harm and had consequences. And I personally feel they were being transphobic. Misgendering and disrespecting another person's identity is where my line of transphobia is. If you think (for example) calling Elon something like "Elonia" is a valid take, I know how seriously you'll take my identity when we butt heads
Like OF COURSE you can leave, why should any of us care? OF COURSE you can disrespect someone's identity, just deal with not being allowed in inclusive spaces. OF COURSE you can post that drama like you're the victim, just don't expect to change the minds of those who deal with your shit every day. OF COURSE you're not "transphobic", you're just a cunt. You'd only ever call yourself a transphobe if it were trendy. You have trans people in your life, so you could NEVER be transphobic. 🙄
Sorry for responding to your serious comment with such a dumb thing, but shouldn't it be queerphobic or something else? I thought transphobia pertained to cases involving trans folk.
Could ask a search engine, but sometimes communities like this have a more nuanced answer.
I'd say anybody who is gender-nonconforming, non-binary, etc, is trans.
They may not always suffer from the same level of transphobia as MtFs or FtMs, but they are no longer identifying as the gender they were assigned at birth. That makes them trans, imo.
That's surprising. But this feels like a nice way to frame it, if so:
The other commenter mentioned this might be casting too wide a net, and I lean towards the "abolish gender" team, myself, so I'd be curious to hear what others think about it, especially MtF, FtM and similar(?) people.
I'm FtM and have the same mindset of the above poster regarding the definition of "trans" but if a non binary person asks me to not refer to them as trans, then I'll certainly respect that.
I don't think that's a dumb thing to ask at all! It might be that queerphobic is a better term. I don't know the best term for the fear or aversion to identities outside of the binary/non-binary that most are accustomed to. I personally tend to put that under the transphobic umbrella.
So you can post this meme, but if I post the exact same meme with the speech bubbles reversed it will be removed for "gatekeeping". Do I understand that correctly?
It makes no sense reversed
“what if the roles were reversed?” -mfs in a situation where the roles are never reversed XD
What if YOU were the billionaire!?
You literally made a meme calling out a specific user. The meme explains that if you see a user behaving in a way you don't like to just report, ignore, and let the mods handle it instead of issuing vigilante justice.
Would you consider this post ignoring the user you don't like and letting the mods handle things or would it be vigilante justice?
This post is humour + commentary. No one was called out.
entire drama communities: freak out about a situation for days on end
me: does commentary
self-absorbed mfs: this must be about me, in particular
This is just generic commentary not directed at any user in particular?
I'm not aware of the full story, nor am I being told anyone is a terrible person. I guess it's an if-you-know-you-know scenario. I don't think it's villainising anyone.
The OP has recently spent some time arguing with another user. The commentary by the OP is this comment by them except they changed the username to "the person on the left".
Nobody is a terrible person. I just think it's hypocritical to say making posts like this isn't the exact type of behaviour the server admins have requested users not engage in.
Which user was called out? I don't see a name in the post.
The user you replied to with this comment that I can't actually quote because it breaks this community's rules.
my ass had to take a day off the internet, shit was tiring.
you’re one of the real ones, spujb
comment for someone's comment that I remember but don't remember where I saw it and I dont care enough to find it and I assume it was removed anyway:
okie Im a neutron star then, those r real :3
I can block a few people but I cant get my community back after it was killed :c
(Also my worry is that trolls will eventually kill this instance)
misunderstood u sorry <3
Its oke :3