592
1.0yr
154

as a rule, if you feel the need to assume what someone else is saying? don’t!

https://files.catbox.moe/ja2yb0.jpeg

oldie meme but needed to bring this back due to recent incidents 😭

tacosanonymous @lemm.ee - 1.0yr

And yet, you assumed an image on catbox would work on my device. Interesting.

68
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

skill issue, sorry

51
tacosanonymous @lemm.ee - 1.0yr

lol. It’s just iOS, voyager, vpn, and ad blocking are not conducive to seeing hosted images.

11
PaupersSerenade @sh.itjust.works - 1.0yr

I’m on iOS, using voyager, proton vpn, and a 3rd party ad blocker and the image loaded just fine for me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

23
steal_your_face @lemmy.ml - 1.0yr

Same. But sometimes they don’t.

5
tyler @programming.dev - 1.0yr

I like Mlem a lot more than voyager. The only thing it isn’t as good at is videos. I’ve never had an issue with catbox on Mlem

3
socsa - 1.0yr

Me: "I like pancakes"

Lemmy: "Only a shitlib western imperialist would think that. Read more Lenin."

53
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

Me: “I like waffles”

Lemmy: “HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO GO MY LIFE WITHOUT PANCAKES YOU OPPRESSIVE INSENSITIVE FUCK”

23
PyroNeurosis - 1.0yr

True, properly educated and vetted comrades would prefer blini.

4
Slovene @feddit.nl - 1.0yr

Nah, that's just .ml

3
disguy_ovahea @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

A large portion of the world is experiencing political polarization. I see the same things happening on Lemmy happen on other social media websites.

The “if you don’t agree with me you must have the exact opposite opinion” approach to debate seems to be more a problem of the participants than the platform.

52
hungryphrog - 1.0yr

Pretty much every time I dare to say anything negative about Russia or China I'm swarmed with illiterate tankie lemmings who jump into the conclusion that criticising one empire automatically means supporting the other empire.

33
disguy_ovahea @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

Great. Another corpo-fascist centrist who doesn’t understand the Overton Window.

9
slst - 1.0yr

Zzzzzz

2
Rooskie91 @discuss.online - 1.0yr

I find that people that do this are often well informed on leftist theory, but know almost no history. I guess it's hard to accept that governing is exceptionally difficult and governments built with the best intentions are still subject to authoritarianism. Also, those governments weren't built with the best intentions, lol.

5
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

wow can’t believe this guy wants me to kiss nazis on the lips /s

17
disguy_ovahea @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

I said don’t kiss Nazi ass. That’s not the same thing.

8
MightyCuriosity - 1.0yr

Did he do the thing he posted a meme about? Ironic

1
Diplomjodler - 1.0yr

How can you not like waffles! That's outrageous! I'm so triggered right now!

8
Shampiss @sh.itjust.works - 1.0yr

That's a waffleturd take if I've ever seen one

6
Diplomjodler - 1.0yr

You're just a shill for Big Pancake!

4
disguy_ovahea @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

I read that Big Pancake wants to leave the French Toast Accords

2
Nat (she/they) - 1.0yr

tbf, that heuristic works ~80% of the time, which is way higher than I'd like, but that's the effect of polarization

1
Jumuta @sh.itjust.works - 1.0yr

i feel this problem might be worse on the fediverse because of the political communities that form around instances, e.g. .ml, .blahaj.zone, .world

1
Deestan @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

-"Russia should not invade a sovereign country, murder its citizens and deport their children."

-"Umm, actually, the US were doing crimes in Syria and you should not support them."

47
queermunist she/her - 1.0yr

But by contrast

"We need to negotiate an end to the war on Ukraine."

"Oh so you want to let Russia kill all Ukrainians?"

8
Mac @mander.xyz - 1.0yr

And then some people comment:

"Yes, we should allow Russia to cleanse the Ukraine. I'm being nuanced, I swear!"

8
queermunist she/her - 1.0yr

We're allowing endless war right now, which means fighting to the last Ukrainian. All the aid we give them is meant to keep the war going as long as possible, not to help Ukraine actually win.

1
hungryphrog - 1.0yr

On Lemmy it's more like:

"I don't like pancakes."

"Oh, so I suppose that waffles are perfect huh??"

32
SuperSaiyanSwag @lemmy.zip - 1.0yr

Nah, it’s more like “you should delete windows now and get Linux”

39
pmk @lemmy.sdf.org - 1.0yr

I agree that conversations sometimes end up being about Linux, which is unfortunate. People seldom recommend installing BSD or other free systems, which is a shame. The lesson here is that we should all install OpenBSD.

26
ShinkanTrain @lemmy.ml - 1.0yr

Oh so you hate Linux, huh

20
odium @programming.dev - 1.0yr

Oh, so you hate BSD huh?

7
gnutrino @programming.dev - 1.0yr

Oh, so you hate Plan9 huh?

6
pixeltree - 1.0yr

Fish!

2
ShinkanTrain @lemmy.ml - 1.0yr

Bravery is leaving both the ifunny and imgflip watermarks.

28
hmonkey @lemy.lol - 1.0yr

I like to insult and block these people. My fear of course, with Lemmy being so small, is I will block everyone. Then again, that's still better than dealing with illiterate, contrarian assholes

20
TriflingToad @sh.itjust.works - 1.0yr

I feel the same way, then I look at my blocklist and it's just lemmy.ml, anime subs, 3 people, some political terms, and a bot. I also have a .world account I use when I want to view the whole Lemmy experience anyways. Tbh I still feel kinda bad about blocking .ml, there was some cool peeps on there but I just can't deal with all the tankie drama

14
hmonkey @lemy.lol - 1.0yr

I also blocked ml, it just ain't worth it. I figure the cool people will eventually leave for another instance anyways

8
pelespirit @sh.itjust.works - 1.0yr

You can block terms?

2
TriflingToad @sh.itjust.works - 1.0yr

I use Voyager (mobile app), I have no idea if you can on desktop but I would assume so.

3
pelespirit @sh.itjust.works - 1.0yr

Thanks for the tip. I have Voyager, I didn't realize you could use it like that.

2
renrenPDX @sh.itjust.works - 1.0yr

What…. This is on par with any kind of internet discourse. It’s pretty much why I hardly ever post prior to Lemmy. It doesn’t matter how well articulated the post, SOMEONE will find the need to correct or clarify unnecessarily.

17
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

it’s really sad because i take great pride and pleasure from reading other people’s thoughts and posts. but when i try to give back, it’s immediately jumped on by dogpilers and “oh you actually meant something else…” people. and when i do the bare minimum to defend myself, they slap back with the “okay buddy, sure” and downvote my defense so it’s invisible to other readers.

needless to say my blocklist is nearing 100 users.

7
trashcan - 1.0yr

and downvote my defense so it’s invisible to other readers.

Lemmy isn't an endless torrent of comments. Even downvoted ones get reached.

2
Dragon Rider (drag) - 1.0yr

Wanna get mad? Yesterday drag made a similar post criticising Lemmy, but it focused on the transphobia on the platform. -46 downvotes. Thread full of transphobia anyway. On Blahaj. https://lemmy.nz/post/17415487

1
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

hmm i honestly just don’t understand what the post is trying to say. it’s a bit unclear to me but im sorry there was confusion and hard feelings going on

3
Dragon Rider (drag) - 1.0yr

Anyone who thinks pretending to be trans is an effective troll hates trans people.

1
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

see i agree with that statement when written out like that. the post doesn’t really do anything to get me to that notion on its own though.

1
Dragon Rider (drag) - 1.0yr

Hm. Maybe it was too subtle? Cunk is explaining why "trolls pretending to be trans" is supposed to be a problem on Lemmy, using her usual brand of accidentally telling it like it is. Lemmy only has a "troll problem" because Lemmy users hate trans people. No trans hate, no troll problem. If everyone respected trans people, nobody would be getting called a troll. If anyone actually tried to troll that way, they'd be met with acceptance and have no power.

1
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

hmmm try workshopping different ways to express this thought, i’m quite lost sorry :(

1
samus12345 @lemm.ee - 1.0yr

This is anywhere on the internet.

17
:3 3: :3 3: :3 3: :3 - 1.0yr

This is anywhere, period. You can do that with letters, you can do that with speeches, or in casual conversations.

And you're not always wrong about it either.

If you've played Disco Elysium, "Welcome to Revachol". If you haven't, play it. It's an amazing game

5
ShortFuse @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

"Black lives matter? So you hate cops?"

1
TotallynotJessica @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

This is just text written anywhere. There's an art to making yourself understood in different contexts.

4
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

yeah :p bit of a hyperbolic statement my fault

3
samus12345 @lemm.ee - 1.0yr

Well, the original post was as well, so fair enough!

2
Jomega @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

One time I said AI porn was unethical (because it is) and people here thought I was calling for a ban on all porn. At no point did I say that porn was unethical as a rule, and if I did believe that I wouldn't have mentioned AI at all.

16
frezik @midwest.social - 1.0yr

It'd be nice if we could regulate porn in good faith. Every attempt to regulate it in the US has been an obvious attempt to shut it down, but it should be regulated like anything else. Sex toys, too. Lots of questionable substances are used in sex toys that probably shouldn't be inserted into the human body.

12
weker01 @sh.itjust.works - 1.0yr

Sex toys are not regulated in the us?! There are a ton of regulations in the EU unfortunately not the same in all countries but some even classify them as medical devices. There is also the standard ISO 3533 "Sex toys — Design and safety requirements for products in direct contact with genitalia, the anus, or both" which is not required at the moment? is still used as a guideline.

1
frezik @midwest.social - 1.0yr

None beyond that ISO standard, which yes, is advisory. If it can be shown to be dangerously unsafe, it's subject to a recall, but that's only going to happen if the batteries tend to explode or something like that. There's lots of unsafe types of plastic that get through.

https://www.compliancegate.com/sex-toys-regulations-united-states/

The United States Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) is an independent agency of the US government, overseeing the safety of consumer products. It develops and enforces safety standards in the United States. It also conducts research related to hazards and risks to the public caused by consumer products.

The CPSC has not yet developed a specific safety standard for sex toys. However, importers and manufacturers are required to report to the CPSC if their product could create a substantial risk of injury to the public, for example, because of a manufacturing defect or a design issue.

In practice, an unsafe sex toy is subject to a recall, regardless of whether it is covered by mandatory safety standards. Hence, importers or manufacturers of sex toys should ensure that their products are safe, for instance by complying with relevant voluntary safety standards.

3
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

this shit pisses me off, my instinct is to say irrationally, but i feel it’s probably totally rational to have your own carefully chosen words used in such a hamfisted perversion

yesterday i made a post saying “hey look there’s a pattern to how ableist terms begin as descriptive or medical terms and its only later they are coopted as insults, the most recent of which is ‘neurodivergent’”

top comment? “dude stop telling us to stop using the word ‘neurodivergent.’” 30+ upvotes. and when i respond saying that actually making people abandon the word wasn’t my goal? downvotes.

like what even is the point of writing words if crusty ass debate lords insist on interpretation to mean the exact opposite 80% of the time?

9
ToastedPlanet - 1.0yr

The short answer is that the trend you are describing does not apply to the word neurodivergent because neurodivergent is not a medical term.

Neurodivergent is a nonmedical term that describes people whose brains develop or work differently for some reason. This means the person has different strengths and struggles from people whose brains develop or work more typically. While some people who are neurodivergent have medical conditions, it also happens to people where a medical condition or diagnosis hasn’t been identified.

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/23154-neurodivergent

Your argument was a false equivalency that the r-slur and neurodivergent share the same origin and thus will share the same fate. The implication of such a line reasoning is that since all of these ableist words became known as insults we shouldn't be concerned about the usage of any of them. In other words, legitimizing the r-slur and other ableist language because eventually neurodivergent will be as bad.

People in that thread explained how neurodivergent is fundamentally different. Neurodivergent is a nonmedical word people are choosing to describe themselves as that validates them as a opposed to a medical word that was chosen for them that pathologizes them. Your argument then attempted to dismiss this by saying all of these words have different origins. When in fact they have two, medical and nonmedical.

The euphemism treadmill argument presented by your meme attempts to ignore that distinction to make all the words seem equivalent. When in fact the words used before neurodivergent were always ableist because they were always hurtful even if that wasn't initially recognized as such by neurotypical people using them.

Like trans and cis, neurodivergent and neurotypical acknowledge a difference without being opinionated about which side of that difference is normal or abnormal. These terms are opinionated about which side has privilege and which side does not. These kind of terms receive backlash from the people who find themselves in the privileged cis and neurotypical categories because they realize these labels exposes the power that comes from the privilege of being the default.

Rather than engaging in a good faith discussion about this privilege, those fearful that they will lose this privilege engage in bad faith discussions intended to undermine the mechanism that exposed that privilege. These discussions tend to involve fallacies and usage of words like nuance and objective to obscure what is really happening.

The problem for the people acting in bad faith now is, we've all done this song and dance multiple times now. We know what to look for. We will call it out. We get to keep telling the truth and using words that expose the truth.

1
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

two separate discussions.

i fully agree with everyone who is saying what you are saying here (including yourself). thank you! group A, call them. if you read those comments deeply, you will see i have responded with cheerful enthusiasm and accepted their contribution. i thank you for it here too.

other people, we’ll say group B (perhaps a smaller number but i never claimed it was 50/50) falsely just said “you are telling us not to use the word neurodivergent. stop it.”

please, im begging. i don’t want to be an ass and block you but if you come into a separate thread of mine to give your reading on dozens and dozens of comments, read all of them? :(

1
ToastedPlanet - 1.0yr

Your argument disregarded the arguments that refuted your central point, group A, in a very cheerful manner and instead hyperfocused on arguments that were easier to disparage, group B.

My arguments focused on group A because that it is what should have been the end to a good faith discussion. Your insistence on going after group B, a more defensible position, is an attempt to continue this discussion under a veneer of good faith.

Multiple arguments have established your argument's position to be false. If you want to continue to have these discussions in good faith I highly recommend you engage with the implications of your argument and its position being incorrect.

please, im begging. i don’t want to be an ass and block you but if you come into a separate thread of mine to give your reading on dozens and dozens of comments, read all of them? :(

I read the other post and did not engage because I saw it had reached the limits of a good faith discussion. I decided to give you the benefit of the doubt. Now I see a new post that attempts to continue that discussion without addressing the lessons learned or misconceptions exposed.

You're not begging you're threatening. I will not comply in advance. I will tell the truth and expose the truth. And, thankfully I am not the only person who will do so.

1
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

Multiple arguments have established your argument’s position to be false.

Ah! There’s your misconception. I was not making an argument. I was comparing a series of similar events and noting how forces exist that may try to continue that pattern. Now, I think it’s fair to misconceive that once, upon first reading the post. But you read all the comments right? So you will see all the times where I say “this is descriptive, not perscriptive” or: “I am showing the forces at play so people are aware of them.” Call it “expressing a concern,” perhaps. Not telling people what to do or “making an argument.”

Hope this makes sense ❤️

Again, it’s super fair to misconceive it once, but fortunately I exist and have the capacity to clarify! So after this, you won’t have to worry about misunderstanding. Right? Because if not you are literally the “so you hate waffles” guy in the post and that’s super embarrassing for you. XD

My arguments focused on group A because that it is what should have been the end to a good faith discussion.

It’s not even the end, fortunately! :D I am actively having these conversations still, and they are all in good faith. I’m actually having a lot of fun with the Group A whom you falsely claim I am disregarding. You conveniently ignore this in order to get some seratonin from writing me paragraphs about “exposing truth”??!!, and that’s super sad. 😔 You could be having fun interesting discussions along the same lines if you hadn’t made it weird. Sorry, man.

2
ToastedPlanet - 1.0yr

Your argument in the previous post was establishing a false equivalence. An attempt to show a pattern between two dissimilar things. That was the bailey.

With this post you have retreated to the motte, hyperfocusing on another group of arguments to distract from the arguments that refuted your central point.

Because if not you are literally the “so you hate waffles” guy in the post

By obfuscating your position, by pretending you were misunderstood, you were hoping to be unchallenged in a hypothetically more defensible position so you could claim victory.

You conveniently ignore this in order to get some seratonin from writing me paragraphs about “exposing truth”??!!, and that’s super sad. 😔 You could be having fun interesting discussions along the same lines if you hadn’t made it weird. Sorry, man.

As my argument has exposed this deception your argument is now relying on ad hominen attacks. Your playbook lacks the means to interact meaningfully with an argument that engages and refutes both your argument's desired bailey, attacking the word neurotypical because it exposes privilege, and what turned out to be a not so defensible motte, misleading accusations of assumptions and new usages of the word nuance.

Group B identified your argument's desire to undermine the validation people feel from using the word neurodivergent. Your argument's goal was to get people to stop using the word neurodivergent. Your argument's motivation for this is to undermine a mechanism that exposes the privilege that neurotypical people enjoy,

and that’s super embarrassing for you. XD

Your declaration of victory has defeated you.

1
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

LMAO

have a good one mate

1
JayDee @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

TBF, I understand this annoying kind of 'reading into it'. at the same time, if someone starts dropping dogwhistles or starts dancing around something in a convo, i am definitely gonna read into that shit.

16
Entropywins @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

If you don't like waffles just say it...

7
dustycups - 1.0yr

I hate the way Nazis etc have appropriated to many phrases/actions as dog whistles.
I don't want to offend anyone & I certainly don't support intolerence but sometimes it's just too much to keep up with.
If someone politely points out my mistake they are helping, if they attack me for an honest mistake they are not.

Am I right or:

https://aussie.zone/pictrs/image/901f02ac-5a55-43c3-857b-159dd0d1659e.gif

1
RaoulDook @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

Yep that's one of my pet peeves about the Internet. People love to try to put words in your mouth. It gets a bit tiring having to tell every one of those jabronis that I never said any of those words, and they should re-read what I did actually write instead.

15
PhobosAnomaly - 1.0yr

If I see someone's reply start with "So, you..." - I'm already rolling my eyes so fast that I'm time traveling back to nineteen-blackandwhite. In general, it's an overly reductive view on the statement that misrepresents the initial comment in order to try and spark a pointless argument.

It's exhausting.

(in b4 "so you hate reading comments then?" 😂)

e: it's not just Lemmy to be fair - the other popular aggregator, most tabloid news sites with comments, and a lot of gaming news sites with social interaction are largely the same.

5
Ashen44 - 1.0yr

so you want to have nuanced and reasonable discussions on the internet?

2
PhobosAnomaly - 1.0yr

In all honesty, I've found a more willing group of people to discuss things with - even if a lot of the time, our platforms and views are very different. There's a larger acceptance on Lemmy of other people's views and their right to hold them which is super cool, every now and then though I get brought down to earth with a bump.

That's the internet, though!

2
LifeLemons @lemmy.ml - 1.0yr

So you want to be sane on internet?

1
Uriel238 [all pronouns] - 1.0yr

In my experience, this happens way less on Lemmy than on Reddit before the IPO.

14
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

i can’t speak to the frequency but the tone is definitely different when it happens here compared to on reddit, probably influenced by the demographic and field of interest differences. the ml roots of the place really have echoed throughout the tone of the space, so most of the arguments have a really cynical, high alert, almost superstitious affect to them that i never really encountered on reddit. (some random account i thought i was cool with is trying to like psychoanalyze my recent posts to find my true intentions? i gave up on that convo)

your mileage may vary, of course!

8
Tar_Alcaran - 1.0yr

your mileage may vary, of course!

Blocking all of .ml makes your experiences vastly more pleasant

6
DoeJohn @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

I wish I could do that, but sadly the Linux community is barely alive on any instance other than .ml.

3
KomfortablesKissen @discuss.tchncs.de - 1.0yr

I like that the name of the platform has been written over.

"This is only happening locally here at <place in the internet> and not at <every other place in the internet>". And that's happening for every place in the internet.

Marvellous

14
thesohoriots @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

That’s French toast erasure.

11
ToastedPlanet - 1.0yr

I see more Motte-and-bailey fallacy.

I see less "I like pancakes" and more "I think pancakes are superior to waffles" from the first commenter.

Then the second commenter responds, "So you hate waffles?"

Then the first commenter retreats to "No, I just like pancakes. Why are you assuming what I'm saying? Don't you understand I'm being nuanced?"

Also, nuance is one of the more recent words to have a new usage like literally, which can now mean figuratively. When people say their argument is nuanced they mean it is good or correct. It reminds me of the use objective to describe a person to pretend they don't have biases to incorrectly validate their arguments.

10
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

me: lot of pancakes out there

you: actually i see more waffles

(with peace and love haha you make excellent points i just couldn’t resist)

2
ToastedPlanet - 1.0yr

In the context of this self-referencing observation, I would say, I see lots of waffles pretending to be pancakes.

3
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

i approve and adopt your extension of the metaphor

2
Bamboodpanda - 1.0yr

I'm convinced that most people don't read anything before sharing their opinion. An opinion with zero relevance or weight is absolutely useless.

8
conartistpanda @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

Yeah but I preffer the pineapple before the pizza, that way the mass feels saltier.

8
JargonWagon @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

So you hate pepperoni?!

9
conartistpanda @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

No, I dont hate peppino spaghetti.

1
Lord Wiggle - 1.0yr

Most people their opinion is based on feelings, which often exist because of a screaming idiot on TV.

For example, my mom wants Islamic people out of this country, because they are criminals and do not belong here. She's lived her entire life in white neighborhoods, never had any experience with crime happening to her by anyone, but she feels this way because of a right wing politician screaming on TV. I have no issues with Islamic people while I live in a neighborhood full is mixed cultures, including many Islamic people. Any factual counter argument I present to my mom feels for her as a personal attack, because I'm attacking her feelings with logic, so the counter attacks with bullshit like "you have no respect to your parents/elders", "I'm not allowed to say anything anymore these days", "what do you know, knowledge comes with the years, I'm older so I know better". She assumes I'm just attacking her extremist comments because of puberty (I'm 37) and to make her feel bad.

I feel like she represents most people, as most people; assuming what people say on TV / internet is true, creating a feeling and opinion based on that which is carved in stone, seeing any counter argument as a personal attack, throwing counter attacks based on words put in other's mouths because attacking that is much easier then properly constructed factual counter arguments (because they don't have any).

FYI I ended all contact with my mom. She's angry about that too, she lacks the ability to see her actions have consequences. Again, like most people.

You say "An opinion with zero relevance or weight is absolutely useless." That is completely true. But those opinions do make people vote in a certain way. They do fuel hate. They do spread fake news. They ruin our society. So even though they have zero relevance and weight, they are super relevant and carry a lot of weight at the same time.

1
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

DEADASS!!!

1
MBM @lemmings.world - 1.0yr

how dare you say we piss on the poor

8
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

i never said that! i only piss on the MOON

5
konalt - 1.0yr

YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING EARTH

4
Viking_Hippie @lemmy.dbzer0.com - 1.0yr

Who's more poor than the moon, though? It not just doesn't have any money, it's not even ALLOWED to own money!

4
FabledAepitaph @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

Bruh, it's so real. I made a comment that whenever I get messed up food at a restaurant, id rather just ask for a refund than ask for a replacement. Obviously there's a lot of nuance in this comment, but I had people taking all kinds of meanings from it. One guy told me I was a complete asshole and some other stuff, just because I'd rather have a refund at the McDonald's instead of asking the overworked, underpaid employees to remake my order as I sat in the drive-through, and so I wouldn't have to pull over and wait even longer.

People just want to be pissed off and angry.

8
CileTheSane @lemmy.ca - 1.0yr

just because I'd rather have a refund at the McDonald's instead of asking the overworked, underpaid employees to remake my order

Except what you actually said was if you ask for a replacement they're going to spit in it, so you just threaten them with a charge back if they don't refund you.

https://lemmy.ca/comment/13396935

The fact that you are lying about what you said seems to indicate you understand why you may have come off as an asshole.

15
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

aw :( sure enough they lied

i wish people would just be nice, it’s already so hard to have a conversation on here without the lying. thanks for doing the investigative work.

3
FabledAepitaph @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

Well of course I'd do a chargeback to McDonald's, lmao. Are you supporting McDonald's getting free money for messed up food? You're ridiculous. I absolutely will charge back a McDonald's or any other business that messes something up and won't make it right.

Your comment is the opposite of a "gotcha" you creepy freak

2nd edit: i think other people should do chargebacks too instead of letting shitty corporate policies rob them of their hard-earned money.

2
CileTheSane @lemmy.ca - 1.0yr

Well of course I'd do a chargeback to McDonald's, lmao. Are you supporting McDonald's getting free money for messed up food? You're ridiculous. I absolutely will charge back a McDonald's or any other business that messes something up and won't make it right.

Are you being the meme on purpose or...?

10
pelespirit @sh.itjust.works - 1.0yr

And some are just trolling, that sounds like you were trolled.

4
sexy_peach @feddit.org - 1.0yr

You hate Lemmy????!

7
frayedpickles @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

Why do you think you're better than us?

6
Bender_on_Fire @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

While I don't want to deny that people try to put words into others mouths, I think context is still important. It is possible and even quite typical to send messages beyond the meaning of the actual words used in a statement and simply playing dumb when someone calls you out for doing that is also not a great look.

Think of going to a waffles-convention and just walking around claiming that you, in fact, like pancakes. Of course people are going to assume you're a troll.

It's important to think of different perspectives and at least consider if something you meant in a very innocent way might still not sit right with someone else. Certainly not easy to do, mistakes will always happen, but honestly trying makes a huge difference imo.

6
Nat (she/they) - 1.0yr

Equally common, unfortunately, is people who don't state their point, they just lay out the pieces and expect you to put it together, but then if you say something bad about it suddenly that's "not what I said". Schrodinger's point.

I've developed a response to comments that do this saying-it-but-not-saying-it thing, and while I try to judge sincerity, there are false positives. An okay approach I've found is just to ask people to clarify: if they say something reasonable they're genuine, and if they dodge the question they're a troll or someone who doesn't want to admit they believe something bad.

6
trolololol @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

Tell me you're not married without saying you're not married

5
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

well that’s just a depressing self admission :( you doing okay? /gen

12
SkaveRat - 1.0yr

So you're saying everyone should marry???

/s

2
trolololol @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

😂

1
Lord Wiggle - 1.0yr

So you're saying Twitter is better?

/jk

Sure, it happens here, but I feel the toxicity on Lemmy is far less then on Reddit or other platforms, and with toxicity I mean including people assuming you're saying something else because they are triggered somehow. But it's very hard not to stumble upon people like that. Trolls rule the universe, they are everywhere.

5
GrammarPolice @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

It may be less toxic, but that's only if you share the sentiments many lemmy users share. The echo chamber is louder here

3
Lord Wiggle - 1.0yr

True. true.. true... true....

But I'm glad I don't have to scroll through loads of right wing extremist posts all the time and constantly have to fight nazis. nazis.. nazis... nazis....

So I'm happy with it. it.. it... it....

1
inclementimmigrant @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

Just personally, I find that the toxicity around here just around group think is a little worse than reddit. It's different but it can be a lot worse, especially with the way people on Lemmy use downvotes.

1
Swedneck @discuss.tchncs.de - 1.0yr

I also feel like posts like these are specifically part of the toxicity, encouraging it because "haha funy"

1
oshu - 1.0yr

I just ignore and block if it continues. I got no time for people who are responding to the voices in their head instead of what I'm actually writing.

5
LifeLemons @lemmy.ml - 1.0yr

I like cameras to capture picture

4
Midnitte @beehaw.org - 1.0yr

So you don't like artists?

3
LifeLemons @lemmy.ml - 1.0yr

Oh so you dont support piracy?

1
YarHarSuperstar @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

Wow, so you hate screenshots??!

2
LifeLemons @lemmy.ml - 1.0yr

Oh so you love screenshots very much?

2
Victor - 1.0yr

Me when I talk to my wife...

4
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

you too? im sorry dude

3
parity @lemmy.dbzer0.com - 1.0yr

Idk, she's super cool to me.

6
Victor - 1.0yr

😆 top notch willful misinterpretation 👌✨

2
Victor - 1.0yr

It's okay 😁 we're both very open about, and aware of, this issue. So I just let her know it's happening and we giggle about it (sometimes). 😄

3
finitebanjo @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

I think it can be important to see the intent behind words and ask for clarifications. Oftentimes people are not direct about their opinions.

3
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

yuh, totally! i even experienced an example of your counterexample recently https://lemmy.cafe/post/10752342/8934173

egg on my face, i guess i worded a meme so badly it gave 180 degrees the opposite impression (to some). was super thankful to this user for being transparent and helping me identify what part to edit.

2
PugJesus @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

On the other hand, a failure to make assumptions about what someone is saying leads to people being able either to willfully misrepresent their positions ("Oh, I don't hate waffles, I just bring up how the world would be better without waffles in every conversation, no matter how tangential!") or unintentionally fail to see the necessary implications of their statements ("I'm not saying waffles are better, I'm just saying pancakes are worse!")

All language has some ambiguity, which necessitates assumption in communication.

3
Queen HawlSera - 1.0yr

So you admit that you're checking me out? And you wanna mate?

3
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

whut da hell

3
Queen HawlSera - 1.0yr

Oh sorry I was making a reference to Xavier: Renegade Angel, where Xavier somehow misinterprets the phrase "Checkmate" to be a proposition for sex, from a clone of himself. (One of those.. "Did I watch this at 3am one night or was that a fever dream?" shows)

4
spujb @lemmy.cafe - 1.0yr

bwahahaha good to clarify i would never have guessed that

3
kingthrillgore - 1.0yr

I like pancakes.

2
weeeeum @lemmy.world - 1.0yr

Oh so you hate minorities too?

5
LifeLemons @lemmy.ml - 1.0yr

I hate pancakes and who likes it is a moron!!

0
kingthrillgore - 1.0yr

I see we're missing the point of the post

1
LifeLemons @lemmy.ml - 1.0yr

Yeah, because most of the time conflicting views leads to an argument in the internet

0
Taleya @aussie.zone - 1.0yr

laughs in tumblr

1