I have let to encounter any local anarchist, ML, DSA, etc group which wasn't led by like 3 of the most vile clout and Twitter-obsessed assholes with zero social skills.

The trots here in Ireland are really annoying (and have sex pest problems) but at least you can join a local group and its not being used by someone who wants to use it just to hold power over people.

Local trans groups are also like this but they're also usually led by trans anarchists who want to have power over people and yell at people.

its always "erm you SLIGHTLY disagreed with Sarah. YOU NOW NEED TO FUCKING DO A PUBLIC HUMILIATION RITUAL TO THE GROUP AND APOLOGIZE ABOUT HOW EVIL AND BAD YOU ARE OR YOU'RE KICKED OUT!"

Its like they want to run a cult not anything useful

I've seen that happen as well, both in anarchist and in less ideologically focussed / more liberal-leaning queer communities. There can be some pretty hardcore ostracism mechanics going on in self-organized groups with hidden, clout-based hierarchies. It's also always coming from a specific kind of person in my experience, i've learned to recognize their vibe and watch out for them. I find it hard to put into words, but some folks, they're like a live wire when it comes to this stuff.

It isn't the first time what has happened? You've been told you need to be accountable for your behavior, or the first time you've butted heads with mutual aid groups?

it's probably not what you want to hear but I get the feeling you're leaving something out. It doesn't really seem like you're asking a question either but i know very little.

I think the good will is often exploited by libs who are using them to climb social hierarchy, or to elevate their career in some way. I've had a some trouble as a neurodivergent person in these kind of groups too, some ableism, bullying, and scaepgoating from neurotypical people, or experiencing classism as a working class person from middle / upper class people. Unfortunately had a bit of this with trade union organising also.

Because there's nobody to deal with conflict resolution or teaching people interpersonal skills. There's always going to be disagreements in groups and some members will hate each other, especially in large organization. Everyone won't be friends and won't always like each other, but a lot of people don't know how to handle it and don't know how to handle sharing spaces with others who they disagree with.

At the end of the day mutual aid should be for mutual aid first, not making friends. I don't care if people hate me or if I don't like them, as long as we get some work done they can lib out all they want in their free time.

I notice it a lot even here, people are so rigid and stuck to their ways sometimes it feels like I am punching a brick wall when I am just trying to understand what's up. But then again people critique me for being too malleable often so I have my own issues to deal with.

I like how this thread has progressed. I did a good thing by making this post.

i dunno where you're talking about specifically or what the rules are in those spaces but i hope that chump got banned. dunno any space that works as hard as hexbear to trim libs stumblin n' ruckus'n, and even our mutual has jackasses brayin

This sounds kinda like a clash of communication styles that my friends and I had to deal with all the time when we ran an anarchist space. One type of people that walks in feels comfortable in a "curated" environment, another kind is used to a "raw" environment. These aren't perfect descriptors, and there were many other polarizations, but it always became impossible to harmoniously fit these two groups under the same roof.

What had the other person been saying about you?