35
3day
14

I'm just saying shit would have gone down differently if I was a smurf bro.

I'm not a weak man creating hard times like Papa Smurf. I'm a real smurf. I would beat Gargamel's ass. MMA bro. BJJ,

SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them] - 3day

Smurfette would totally go out with me bro, she'd be like wow you're badass.

7
happybadger [he/him] - 3day

That's the thing bro. I've been watching a lot of smurfs not sleeping much just watching smurfs. It makes me so mad that she keeps choosing Hefty Smurf over me. I know I could kill Gargamel with one neck chop. They don't listen to me.

9
SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them] - 3day

Yeah bro sleep is for the weak.

5
comrade_pibb [comrade/them] - 3day

I'd be called Badass Smurf fr

7
happybadger [he/him] - 3day

I'd tell the other smurfs "Just call me Danger Close." It'd take some explaining because they haven't watched the same war movies but they'd get it.

7
axont [she/her, comrade/them] - 3day

I politely refuse to live in a mushroom

5
happybadger [he/him] - 3day

I'd have a whole-ass mansion if I was a smurf. With a hot tub and a pool and a samurai fighting room and a big garage for all my cars.

7
segfault11 [she/her, any] - 2day

you better stop talking shit about papa smurf, if he was on the plane 9/11 wouldn’t have happened

3
happybadger [he/him] - 2day

But he wasn't. WEAK smurf. HARD times.

1
segfault11 [she/her, any] - 2day

times were hard because the younger smurfs went woke and allowed a DEI smurf in (smurfette)

2
KnilAdlez [none/use name] - 2day

I call bullsmurf

3
happybadger [he/him] - 2day

I can't even watch Scooby Doo anymore because I get too hyped up and want to kill all the criminals. That's how much I hate bullies. Gargamel has been running his mouth for too long. I would feel nothing killing him.

3
Keld [he/him, any] - 2day

See this is how I know youre just a posersmurf, the smurfs in the comics were absolutely bullying gargamel all the time.

4
chgxvjh [he/him, comrade/them] - 1day

Someone call CPS

edit: Sorry meant to post under the Same Altman parenting post.

2