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Slop to end all slop: Glenn Beck unironically interviewed the ghost of George Washington (via AI)

A weapon to surpass Metal Gear

Assian_Candor [comrade/them] - 4day

What if it was tho and he just styled it that way

15
uSSRI [he/him] - 4day

He not only was the first president, he also invented hairspray

15
SchillMenaker [he/him] - 4day

I think you mean they gave Robert De Niro real hair in the shape of George Washington's wig.

10
kristina [she/her] - 4day

soon enough we'll have ai generations of long dead spouses and meemaws trained on their facebook posts, and people will act like the spirit of these people is piloting the AI-ouija board. theyll end up breaking the ai in some way and meemaw will encourage her extended family to do a crusade in the ozarks or something

35
Commie_Chameleon [she/her] - 4day

Ghost hunting shows are about to get even worse somehow too

24
JoeByeThen [he/him, they/them] - 3day

Ooh, I feel like there's something there that'd be a great basis for a comedy show tho. thonk

Crossing over with JohnEdwardsLLM. And it's just a crowd watching a PC on a desk while live people move around in the crowd with microphones so folks can talk to it.

5
Commie_Chameleon [she/her] - 3day

If I had money I would fund you for this. Honestly just reach out to Netflix they’ll probably greenlight you

4
Assian_Candor [comrade/them] - 4day

I DONT WANT TO BE IN THE COMPUTER 😭

23
blunder [he/him] - 4day

Why does Glenn Beck look like Colonel Sanders now

28
Le_Wokisme [they/them, undecided] - 4day

leave him alone he's going through it

18
SuperZutsuki [they/them] - 4day

Through what? 20pc buckets?

34
mrfugu [he/him, any] - 4day

He’s looking like the villain from Toy Story 2

8
UmbraVivi [he/him, she/her] - 4day

How much of a dullard do you have to be to take this seriously

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Trying2KnowMyself [they/them, comrade/them] - 4day

none of those whose misfortune it is to have slaves as attendants will visit the City if they can possibly avoid it; because by so doing they hazard their property

when slaves who are happy & content to remain with their present masters, are tampered with & seduced to leave them; when masters are taken at unawar[e]s by these practices; when a conduct of this sort begets discontent on one side and resentment on the other, & when it happens to fall on a man whose purse will not measure with that of the Society, & he looses his property for want of means to defend it—it is oppression in the latter case, & not humanity in any; because it introduces more evils than it can cure.

it being among my first wishes to see some plan adopted by which slavery in this Country may be abolished by slow, sure, & imperceptable degrees

Whoever apprehends the said Negroes, so that the Subscriber may readily get them, shall have, if taken up in this County, Forty Shillings Reward, beside what the Law allows; and if at any greater Distance, or out of the Colony, a proportionable Recompence paid them, by George Washington

A paragon of virtue. No doubt an AI trained on George Washington’s writings will produce exactly the results that Glenn Beck is looking for.

24
buckykat [none/use name] - 4day

There's a guy who spent several decades, from 1994 to 2023, larping as Thomas Jefferson on public radio.

21
JoeByeThen [he/him, they/them] - 4day

I'm gonna do this with Stalin and force him to acknowledge he shouldn't have stopped in Berlin.

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LadyCajAsca [she/her, comrade/them] - 4day

A weapon to surpass Metal Gear

Is like literally the Patriots' AI system kinda

18
UmmmCheckPlease [he/him, comrade/them] - 4day

agony-4horsemen amazed that beck somehow found a way to make his existence worse for the planet

17
Krem [he/him, they/them] - 4day

George looks absolutely baked

maybe he thought he was going on the Bro Brogan show to schmoke epic bowls with Joe and Elon

16
Le_Wokisme [they/them, undecided] - 4day

wasn't hemp one of the crops on his slave farm?

9
Kefla [she/her, they/them] - 4day

You just know those freaks were using it for boring shit like rope

11
Orbital [none/use name] - 4day

Robert Anton Wilson said GW and Jefferson correspondence on hemp cultivation mentions best practices for upping THC content

Even if false this makes a good story

Even if this is a substandard poopost it was a chance to give a shout out to RAW

9
Krem [he/him, they/them] - 4day

Don't George and some other founding father maybe Jefferson or Ben Fraklin smoke hemp and talk stoned nonsense in a Thomas Pynchon book? I haven't read it tho

4
juniper [none/use name] - 3day

I used to enjoy reading RAW back in the day but he's not exactly somebody I'd give a shoutout to lol

Edit: Sorry I confused RAW with Hakim Bey lol. I'm still sus'd out by those 1960s people.

2
gay_king_prince_charles [she/her, he/him] - 4day

The farm at Mt. Vernon still grows hemp today (as it did in Washington's time), but it's just cannabis sativa so there isn't much you can do with it other than rope.

7
juniper [none/use name] - 3day

Cannabis sativa is the species for hemp and recreational smoking. There is no species-level difference. sativa/indica/hemp are all the same plant

4
gay_king_prince_charles [she/her, he/him] - 3day

Or rather the stain of sativa he likely grew was 0.3% THC, so it's not going to have much impact

1
regul [any] - 4day

Huh, weird, turns out the answer is "moral behavior" and all the failings of our nation are of a personal nature! Whew I was worried maybe there was a class of people oppressing us!

25
Damarcusart [he/him, comrade/them] - 4day

To be fair, that would probably be in line with what the OG Washington would say, plus probably some angry rants about slaves being freed.

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Carl [he/him] - 4day

They put him in a black t shirt like he's fucking mark zuckerberg oh my god agony-shivering

it looks so wrong and so ass

edit: the more I think about it the more I think it works cuz gwash was one of the richest guys in his day so if he was around now he'd be getting the exact same advice from the exact same marketing and pr people. still looks like ass though.

12
Evilphd666 [he/him, comrade/them] - 4day

ancrap I'm going to need you to dumb it down some....

joker-amerikkklap Now dumb it down even further in language Americans can under stand.

freedom-and-democracy Poo poo. Pee pee. America has fallen! magneto-perfection

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miz [any, any] - 3day

ask him why the natives called him The Town Destroyer

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Crucible [he/him, comrade/them] - 4day

Mark Strong as George Washington is real glow up casting

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SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them] - 3day

Doughy Colonel Sanders talks to a computer ghost is enough of a headline.

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