83
5day
50

Also you're tied down so you can't storm the cockpit.

miz [any, any] - 5day

if I get to keep that bag of money, 0

EDIT: plus, you know Clarence won't try to start a conversation

56
SuperZutsuki [they/them] - 5day

(it's full of Iraqi Dinars)

39
miz [any, any] - 5day

I'll spend the whole flight passing notes to Donald about revaluing it

42
Horse {they/them} - 5day

::: spoiler and i will make sure to dress appropriately :::

35
MemesAreTheory [he/him, any] - 5day

With an outfit like that I don't think it matters which seat you choose. I'm going to have to say 8 or 9 will probably guarantee the non-survival of the most impactful targets, though, because we can safely assume several aisles forward and back get got too.

12
Matty Roses - 5day
  1. Loomer will get thrown off again, and you get 2 seats.
32
Acute_Engles [he/him, any] - 5day

2

I gotta talk to the smoke ape it's probably got cool powers

32
Lemmygradwontallowme [he/him, comrade/them] - 5day

0 definitely.

30
acab_means_cop_Dva [they/them] - 5day

How tied down are we talking? Can I still set off my vest?

29
Posadas [he/him, they/them] - 5day

Sorry, TSA took it since it used bottles larger than 3.4 ounces (100 ml)

17
corvidenjoyer [she/her] - 5day

What if I swallow a stick of dynamite before I get on the plane like a loony toones character?

23
daniyeg [he/him] - 5day

9 definitely. can scam elon out of some money. AI powered meme coin with governance functions for improving government efficiency launching at the price of $4.20 per token with a dark pool where we secretly own 70% of the float. we can have a second token as well and swap between them with an AI algorithm to keep them stable in case the price drops before we can dump our share. we can call it ElonCoin and every white woman that wants to get an IVF kid with musk gets 10k tokens to solve the fertility problem in united states, and this token can be used to secure the future of the kid by transferring it to a secure account and investing it in tesla. I'll just need 200 million dollars to get this whole thing up and running. 190 mil will be spent on ads on X itself (in reality i pocket the entire 200 mil).

it's foolproof.

25
DogThatWentGorp [he/him, they/them] - 5day

As if I can't purposefully annoy the living hell out of any of them until they shut up. They're stuck on the plane with me

25
robotElder2 [he/him] - 5day
  1. Just have to imply that some pizzagate stuff happened at a papajohns and I've got in-flight entertainment
22
hotspur [he/him] - 5day

I mean 4 is so obviously better than alternatives, the quiz feels like a non choice. I get papa John AND Alex jones???

16
supdawg813 [comrade/them] - 5day

yeah but you have to sit in front of some of the most fascist loudmouths in the country

5
hotspur [he/him] - 5day

Shit yeah I neglected to consider the rows in front and back, you’re definitely gonna have to listen to them as well, sigh.

But people are picking the Trump and RFK row and I think they’re forgetting how bad Trump is supposed to smell. RFK would probably keep offering you tinctures and months old jerky he made from dead birds he found around Washington so I don’t buy that that’s a good option.

5
Alaskaball [comrade/them, any] - 5day
  1. I don't care how but that plane is gonna crash with me on it and I at least want front seats to victory
20
CPMSP @midwest.social - 4day

Witnessed!

1
tactical_trans_karen [she/her, comrade/them] - 5day

Any. At cruising altitude I crack my false tooth filled with VX nerve agent as I belch with my mouth wide open from the can of sprite I slammed during initial ascent. It's been an honor. rosa-salute

20
decaptcha [none/use name] - 5day

Superb editorial decision to make #3 the Third Wheel™ seat

19
Utter_Karate [he/him, comrade/them] - 5day

I'm picking 8. 10 hours of telling Trump what I overheard the other passengers saying about him. Just lean forward and loudly tell Elon "No, you're not smarter than the President!" and then watch him dig himself deeper.

18
mrfugu [he/him, any] - 5day
  1. Because maybe the gorilla will share his weed with me and the other seat is just AI so it’ll be empty enough for me to put extra bags on.
17
UmbraVivi [he/him, she/her] - 5day

If I have to talk to them, it's gotta be 8. Trump is probably entertaining to talk to and RFK might drop one of his absolutely insane stories. Most importantly, I think we could talk for a long time without bringing up politics. As a conservative-passing white guy, I could probably pretend not to despise them for long enough and have an okay time. Definitely wouldn't wanna be a woman in that seat though. There are other people on there that I could ignore but also quite a few where the thought of sitting next to them legit makes my blood boil.

15
ClimateStalin [they/them, he/him] - 5day

I couldn’t listen to RFK speak for the duration of a flight without killing him or myself

6
Owl [he/him] - 5day

9 easy. I bet I could convince Jeff Bezos that it'd be funny to help me scam Elon Musk out of a bunch of money.

15
Infamousblt [any] - 5day

9 because I want to watch Musk seethe while Trump keeps kicking the back of his chair

15
SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them] - 5day

I'm pulling the emergency door handle on the tarmac.

14
XxFemboy_Stalin_420_69xX [none/use name] - 5day

if it's a ten hour flight i'm realistically showing up higher than a kite and sleeping literally the whole time without exchanging a word to anyone so i'll take the money

13
gay_king_prince_charles [she/her, he/him] - 5day

0 but if Clarence orders a coke I'm "accidentally" knocking it over

13
Zuzak [fae/faer, she/her] - 5day

8, and I'll lock it in and try my best to convince/manipulate Trump.

12
SerialExperimentsGay [she/her, fae/faer] - 5day

I recognize 13 out of 20 and that's 13 too many.

12
Antiwork [none/use name, he/him] - 5day

Yeah idk the ape lighting up a bowl, 4 right and 6 left. 5 or 6 of them are gimmes for most people unengaged with politics

11
peeonyou [he/him] - 5day

how long before i have to take the flight? i want to do some extreme martial arts training beforehand

11
Antiwork [none/use name, he/him] - 5day

3 ez. I can switch the middle seat with Erikkka and they'll both leave me alone

9
Damarcusart [he/him, comrade/them] - 5day

I don't know who the guy next to 0 is, but sitting next to a bag of money sounds best, I could probably stretch my legs a bit that way and use it as a pillow.

9
barrbaric [he/him] - 5day

Clarence Thomas, current supreme court judge and piece of shit. Try to strangle him with the bag!

6
BurgerPunk [he/him, comrade/them] - 5day

Alex Jones and Papa John easy. That is the only remotely survivable spot on the plane

9
miz [any, any] - 5day

3 would be awful, they would be trying to make out across you

7
InevitableSwing [none/use name] - 5day

Ethan_Hawke_as_a_█████_looking_into_a_mirror.gif

6
miz [any, any] - 5day

3
culpritus [any] - 5day

9 because you know they won't help each other, so you can get some important work done in Minecraft

6
redsteel @lemmygrad.ml - 5day

The Jason Bateman knock-off and whoever that other one is on #4, mostly because I don't recognize either of them and I'll roll the dice on it whereas I know all the other neo-nazi cockroaches.

2
Ram_The_Manparts [he/him] - 5day

No idea who the guy on the left is, right is Alex Jones

2
sewer_rat_420 [he/him, any] - 5day

The other guy is the original Papa John, known for going on an n-word filled tirade during a shareholder meeting before being replaced by Shaq. Probably not a too horrible person to be next to, he's racist but so is everyone else on an average USAian flight. And Alex jones would probably dominate the conversation anyways

6
schlongjohnson [he/him] - 5day

pretty sure thats papa john, the pizza man

2
Saapas - 4day

Next to the blonde woman

2
StinkySocialist @lemmy.ml - 4day

If seat 2 comes with weed or seat 4 comes with coke either one might actually be a fun flight. 🤣

2