116
1w
43

Explaining Communism to an amerikkkan

Tweto

purpleworm [none/use name] - 1w

These names are so condescending. "Yeah, I'd like some Thirst-Quenching Coke please, not the Coke that doesn't have water in it. Tempting Cheeseburger? No, I want the Ugly, Rancid Cheeseburger.

45
Guamer [she/her] - 1w

Coming right up!

36
LeninWeave [none/use name, any] - 1w

Actually, give me the Half-Flavor Orange Drink.

25
FlakesBongler [they/them] - 1w

Prepare for unexpected flavors, Mr. LeninWeave

26
unwarlikeExtortion @lemmy.ml - 4day

And I'd like one frozen-over coffee straight from the deep freezer, please.

1
NinaPasadena [she/her, any] - 1w

Pure beef? No I'd prefer 50/50 beef/plastic

13
infuziSporg [e/em/eir] - 1w

A beverage needs to consist of a minumum of 90% water to really be thirst-quenching.

3
FatVegan @leminal.space - 1w

If it's not called garbage in a bag, it's false advertising

2
LaGG_3 [he/him, comrade/them] - 1w

$0.10 coffee

Something something social democrats are just imperialist wolves in sheep's clothes

41
LaGG_3 [he/him, comrade/them] - 1w

Also 1960s McDonald's probably had the most horrendous coffee imaginable lmao

20
DogThatWentGorp [he/him, they/them] - 1w

Yeah we're sludge merchants. We're grime-pilled slop heads. If that coffee doesn't taste like, share the same color as, or flow as slow as 20 year old motor oil I don't want it.

I want ground beans at the bottom of the cup black as night. I want to cough like I'm drowning after the first sip. If I look like a complete person aftwards: it's not bad enough. There better be asphalt and rubber cutting the grounds they use.

That's real America right there. None of this hands-in-the-ass drinking a pumpkin bullshit. Wake up thirsty, start your day ruined. If you can't work through the IBS you don't want it enough.

14
Biggay [he/him, comrade/them] - 1w

i bet it tasted great with cigarettes tho

4
BeanisBrain [he/him, they/them] - 1w

No you see they'll import it at fair prices and then sell it at a loss via massive state subsidies

11
GoodGuyWithACat [he/him] - 1w

I demand the first order of business after establishing communism is to develop a cheap, mass producible, synthetic coffee.

6
LaGG_3 [he/him, comrade/them] - 1w

So dandelion root tea or chicory tea?

3
SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them] - 1w

In China according to google you can grab a street food dinner for about $2

35
SchillMenaker [he/him] - 1w

Actually, according to grok, communism is when no food.

31
CutieBootieTootie [she/her] - 1w

It depends where you are, Tier One cities can have some pretty expensive food but yeah, I would eat like a queen for 20-25 kuai in a relatively smaller city (1mil pop) from hole in the wall shops

6
FlakesBongler [they/them] - 1w

triple-thick shakes

hyperflush

32
miz [any, any] - 1w

thicc-trumpthicc-trumpthicc-trump

22
GalaxyBrain [they/them] - 1w

Watch out Snake! That's Tempting Cheeseburger! FOXHOUND's top frycook!

25
Weedian [he/him] - 1w

frycook??

13
GalaxyBrain [they/them] - 1w

Thar'a right Snake. Its said he can feed an entire platoon an enriching hamburger dinner within less than an hour. Im sure Master Miller knows more, the Chemical Burger earned him millions.

Liquid Snake as Miller:...

15
DylanMc6 [any, any] - 1w

i really like the names they gave - "refreshing cold milk" should like a great band name. seriously!

17
booty [he/him] - 1w

gimme that TRIPLE thicc shake, I need the maximum possible number of boys in my yard right now

9
DylanMc6 [any, any] - 1w

i'd go with a tempting cheeseburger

3
LaGG_3 [he/him, comrade/them] - 1w

Steaming Third-Degree Hot Coffee

8
segfault11 [she/her, any] - 1w

you used to be able to get a delightful root beer but now you can only get regular root beer because the SJWs were too offended 😒

7
fanbois [he/him] - 1w

Refreshing Cold Milk Hotel

Bubbly upbeat pop songs, but still horny about Anne Frank.

4
DylanMc6 [any, any] - 1w

i just remember that there's this theory in which jeff mangum (and probably his family) went back to save anne frank and adopt her in the family as 'caroline mangum', and then in the 1990s, jeff started dating anne/caroline, now renamed again to astra taylor.

i think that that idea would work as a turtledove-ish story. seriously!

1
BurgerPunk [he/him, comrade/them] - 1w

This isn't clear enough to me, a burgerlander. How many football fields are those prices? If i know that then maybe it will make sense

12
GrouchyGrouse [he/him] - 1w

Explaining everything as burger to Americans. First explain burger is a sandwich.

Using the taco-is-sandwich loophole to explain how a taquito is a sandwich.

With the cylindrical shape established we can now build a series of tubes made out of burger.

And with it we will finally understand the internet

12
LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins [none/use name] - 1w

how a taquito is a sandwich.

a taquito isn't a sandwich it's just a flauta with a corn tortilla

8
thelastaxolotl [he/him] - 1w

Flautas can use both corn and flour tortillas

6
LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins [none/use name] - 1w

??? if it's a corn tortilla it's a taquito

3
thelastaxolotl [he/him] - 1w

Nope it still a flauta

1
LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins [none/use name] - 1w

you are wrong and idk what else to tell you. This is something I have known as a fact for like forever and if you ask google AI you can guess who it backs up (me) shrug-outta-hecks

1
Alaskaball [comrade/them, any] - 1w

that goon can put himself feet first into a meatgrinder for his fetid greaseburgers

9
infuziSporg [e/em/eir] - 1w

The hamburger being just 1.5x as expensive as the coke or root beer feels outlandish. It feels like the ratio should be at least 4:1.

6
Meltyheartlove [love/loves, comrade/them] - 1w

Where beanisbatty kitty-cri-screm

5
DylanMc6 [any, any] - 1w

at this point, since voting is NOT enough, we should all reluctantly use force to stop trump. seriously!

4