What's the official Hexbear party line on the existence of Santa Claus?
SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them] - 2w
He's real and he's also a class traitor bourgeoise pig and I'm working within the elves to unionize and overthrow the Claus regime.
29
segfault11 [she/her, any] - 2w
he got me a 2DS that year i wanted a 3DS so his fascist ass can face the wall for all i care
16
DragonBallZinn [he/him, they/them] - 2w
Santa Denial is the 12th form of liberalism and gets you gulag’d.
18
FunkyStuff [he/him] - 2w
We are going to arrest him.
17
FunkyStuff [he/him] - 2w
His existence notwithstanding.
14
CrispyFern [fae/faer, any] - 2w
Idk I fucked him first tho
16
William_Nilliam [comrade/them] - 2w
norad follows him wherever he goes so he must be doing something right
15
DelgadoSlims [he/him] - 2w
This is correct. If Santa Claus is real, capitalist governments would be incentivized to stop him to protect the retail market. Like how they sprayed kerosene on the oranges in Grapes of Wrath
12
Cat_Daddy [any, any] - 2w
Best argument I've ever heard against the existence of both santa claus and god
7
William_Nilliam [comrade/them] - 2w
Nightmare before Christmas is the most accurate depiction of how the west would treat Santa Claus
4
Keld [he/him, any] - 2w
The yugoslav communist government introduced a new father christmas to replace the one tainted by capitalism. Which means that Slovenia now has 3 father Christmases
12
Rom [he/him] - 2w
Santa Claus gets the wall.
12
Dort_Owl [they/them, any] - 2w
We are going to let the elves decide his fate
11
HarryLime [any] - 2w
Whenever I asked my parents whether Santa existed they would just say "Santa is the spirit of Christmas" which was infuriating because it's not at all an answer to the question.
11
DylanMc6 [any, any] - 2w
santa may or may NOT be real, it depends
9
EstraDoll [she/her, he/him] - 2w
shouldn't we have a more resolute, principled, and clear stance on such a divisive issue?
9
DylanMc6 [any, any] - 2w
santa is a jolly old person who's very angry at the fact that christmas has become a very commercial and consumerist holiday?
7
Acute_Engles [he/him, any] - 2w
Afaik it's still tim allen
9
moss_icon [comrade/them] - 2w
He’s real and he’s getting sent to the gulags once we get the elves to bring the revolution to the North Pole
8
Guamer [she/her] - 2w
Not only does he exist, but he's also gay. And I ain't talkin' about "happy".
6
Euergetes [none/use name] - 2w
Santa Claus is real, he's bourgeois, and he owes me fucking money
6
CliffordBigRedDog [he/him] - 2w
Hes not real but if he is we should kill him
4
SweatySteven [none/use name] - 2w
Santa is one of the angels God sent down to Sodom and Gomorrah to see if anyone was worth saving. Santa was just hanging out on Earth for the most part but, after a while, boredom and loneliness set in. So after long time of doing nothing, Jesus came and did the whole eternal salvation gimmick. Santa, who was envious of Jesus for getting a religion named after him, decided to capitalize off of Jesus' hard work and wanted a piece of the action. Unlike Jesus, however, he wasn't willing to be a martyr. So he used his present-making magic and, instead of giving salvation to all who deserved it, he gave presents to all who deserved them.
Biblical scholars believe the other angel sent down to Sodom and Gomorrah was probably Joan of Arc. Her jealousy was also about on par with Santa. A fun fact about Joan of Arc is that before she was martyred, she tried to start a religion by adding another testament to the Abrahamic faith, similar to the mormons. However, hats weren't invented at that time, so there was nothing to read religious texts out of. Instead, frustrated with a lack of a following, she invented a backstory and got martyred and canonized.
4
Maturin [any] - 2w
However, hats weren't invented at that time, so there was nothing to read religious texts out of
2
Carl [he/him] - 2w
There are two Saint Nicholas'. One is a jolly elf who gives toys to children, the other is a corporate mascot invented by Coca Cola in the 1950s.
EstraDoll in badposting
What's the official Hexbear party line on the existence of Santa Claus?
He's real and he's also a class traitor bourgeoise pig and I'm working within the elves to unionize and overthrow the Claus regime.
he got me a 2DS that year i wanted a 3DS so his fascist ass can face the wall for all i care
Santa Denial is the 12th form of liberalism and gets you gulag’d.
We are going to arrest him.
His existence notwithstanding.
Idk I fucked him first tho
norad follows him wherever he goes so he must be doing something right
This is correct. If Santa Claus is real, capitalist governments would be incentivized to stop him to protect the retail market. Like how they sprayed kerosene on the oranges in Grapes of Wrath
Best argument I've ever heard against the existence of both santa claus and god
Nightmare before Christmas is the most accurate depiction of how the west would treat Santa Claus
The yugoslav communist government introduced a new father christmas to replace the one tainted by capitalism. Which means that Slovenia now has 3 father Christmases
Santa Claus gets the wall.
We are going to let the elves decide his fate
Whenever I asked my parents whether Santa existed they would just say "Santa is the spirit of Christmas" which was infuriating because it's not at all an answer to the question.
santa may or may NOT be real, it depends
shouldn't we have a more resolute, principled, and clear stance on such a divisive issue?
santa is a jolly old person who's very angry at the fact that christmas has become a very commercial and consumerist holiday?
Afaik it's still tim allen
He’s real and he’s getting sent to the gulags once we get the elves to bring the revolution to the North Pole
Not only does he exist, but he's also gay. And I ain't talkin' about "happy".
Santa Claus is real, he's bourgeois, and he owes me fucking money
Hes not real but if he is we should kill him
Santa is one of the angels God sent down to Sodom and Gomorrah to see if anyone was worth saving. Santa was just hanging out on Earth for the most part but, after a while, boredom and loneliness set in. So after long time of doing nothing, Jesus came and did the whole eternal salvation gimmick. Santa, who was envious of Jesus for getting a religion named after him, decided to capitalize off of Jesus' hard work and wanted a piece of the action. Unlike Jesus, however, he wasn't willing to be a martyr. So he used his present-making magic and, instead of giving salvation to all who deserved it, he gave presents to all who deserved them.
Biblical scholars believe the other angel sent down to Sodom and Gomorrah was probably Joan of Arc. Her jealousy was also about on par with Santa. A fun fact about Joan of Arc is that before she was martyred, she tried to start a religion by adding another testament to the Abrahamic faith, similar to the mormons. However, hats weren't invented at that time, so there was nothing to read religious texts out of. Instead, frustrated with a lack of a following, she invented a backstory and got martyred and canonized.
There are two Saint Nicholas'. One is a jolly elf who gives toys to children, the other is a corporate mascot invented by Coca Cola in the 1950s.
He's real and he's a fucking Trot
Patron saint of prostitutes