HELLO THIS IS THE MEGA SIGN UP POST/LIST POST

if you have a preferred week please tell me

Alisu (11/10 - 11/16)
Disaster_of_Passion* (11/17 - 11/23)
GayTuckerCarlson* (11/24 - 11/30)
Eco* (12/1 - 12/7)
oscardejarjayes* (12/8 - 12/14)
Shaleesh* (12/15 - 12/21)
SwitchyandWitchy* (12/22 - 12/28)
peanutbuttercupola* (12/29 - 1/4)
Wmill* (1/5 - 1/11)

​ * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters

Started replaying disco elysium and I forgot how uncomfortable being Harry makes me feel. I spent enough years being a way-too-drunk, majorly depressed embarrassment in real life. They really did nail the feeling though. Yuck.

DICK = GONE

Trans girl who is completely unaware of how pretty she is and is even hostile to the suggestion she's pretty is such a stereotype, I dunno why we're like this

mood

I love being trans and making out with beautiful transexuals

How it feels to get home from a full day and hide in my quiet and comfy room and grind clash of clans hero levels

Also my nips hurt who did this to me

Just got a "Anything else for you, señorita?" at the Mexican restaurant in my work uniform fully boymoding lmao

::: spoiler spoiler

Someone called me cute and it made my day, its been a weird day and it was really nice

Things continue to trans along transally. 21 months of hrt and I would say that the character creation gender slider is pretty much right in the center. I'm not out at work and I don't know how no one has said anything to me. The CIS are truly oblivious.

Is there like a super simple haircare/styling for dummies I can do to make my hair look better that doesn’t require a lot of products tools or steps?

Someone told me my name was cute (which it objectively is) and I got to respond "thanks I picked it myself"

Being trans is cool

Had a big burst of chest growth recently. My tits feel huuuge! Basically the only thing keeping me from crashing out rn tbh

I'm agender, and that feels right to me, but what doesn't feel right is the way people talk to me. I can tolerate it from strangers and from people I don't respect, but I really can't shake that even most of my friends (and also my ex) talk to me like a man. Really there's only a handful of people who talk to me like a person, and I appreciate it every time.

One of my friends asked me how my transition was going out of nowhere and I was so confused why I was being asked this and answered

"Uh It's fine I guess I inject my estrogen every week idk what kinda answer you're looking for here"

But turns out they were asking about my housing transition lmaooooo

::: spoiler i'm cute :::

Good moooooorning everyone~

I finally went to a transfemme hangout irl and omg, it was truly amazing! I rarely feel a sense of belonging, especially irl, but there I did <- happy tears

up with trans

As a hobbyist trance/house DJ, Oceanlab (and above and beyond) is incredible. Mind-blowing artist. Getting some great topics lately...heat pumps, Oceanlab... Trying to bait me into this mega I guess

I came out to the oldest friend I still keep in contact with and it went very well. Of course I pretty much knew it would because he's engaged to a trans person but always good when it actually happens.

Then he mentioned me having made egg jokes and talked about /r/egg_irl in high school, and I was like "I'm sorry I don't remember that at all???" But the more I thought about it I started to remember... It was that and furry_irl but that didn't lead to anything as it happens.

It's kind of affirming of course but also unnerving because I had no memory of it before he brought it up. I thought I only started consuming that stuff in college. Has anyone else had this sort of thing happen?

I was talking with a girl from Hinge, we were getting along really well, probably around 300 messages sent in the first two nights. Then a couple of days ago she seemed to complete lose interest and dropped me like a rock, not asking questions anymore, only answering with single generic sentences, just saying "that's good" or "that's bad".

Feels bad. I thought I was really getting somewhere with her and really enjoyed chatting to her, then it's like a switch flipped and she doesn't want to know me anymore.

The moral of the story is absolutely nothing

::: spoiler cw medical stuff, bottom surgery Bolster and catheter removed and oh my GOD do I feel so much better. Definitely still painful but more in the realm of severe bruising instead of feeling like I had an 8 inch needle jammed squarely into my vag. There are occasional moments of being acutely (painfully) aware of the "inversion" aspect of the procedure and some weird brain-body disconnect when touching the area but hoo boy am I excited to start a more active phase of recovery. :::

Thanks to everyone who offered words of celebration btw, I appreciated them all even if things were really too hectic to get back to everyone.

How can I have trust issues when I don't trust anyone ?

::: spoiler misgendering

I love being he/himd out and about. Ive given up on it. I could be in a dress and full makeup, pushup bra putting my titties on display, and id still get called sir and he and man and bro (bro really gets to me...)

People are not ok, they fucking suck. Istg these mfers purposefully do this shit just to get under my skin. Fuck them.

The feminine urge to eat a big burrito and take a fucking nap

Except I have to work for 5 more hours

there should be 30 hours in a day so i could sleep more

::: spoiler some kind of intersection between kink/identity stuff I am now declaring that people can call me a puppy if they want. No unsolicited scritches or "good girl"s or asking me to do tricks though, i'm not ready for that and also i reserve that for close friends only. :::

what did they put in my estrogen this week i feel like a girl holy shit

injection day. It's gonna be a good day.

Thought I male-failed today when someone gave me directions to the bathroom and I only saw the women's one. Turns out I was just stupid and there was a men's right after it I just didn't see at first 🙃

OTOH I think there's like a 50% chance I got ma'am'ed when picking up a prescription last week, so there's that

::: spoiler ramblings of a trans girl becoming more content with her existence I think? and also being incredibly dramatic as I have an emotional reaction mid posting I went on a bit of a long walk today just thinking about some things. I'd been feeling lately like I'd accidentally slipped into an alternate timeline where my life is quickly diverging from what it was "meant to" be like. I've had this one goal for pretty much as long as I can remember. Things would get in the way of this goal, and I'd either get lucky, push through, or make a dubious decision, depending on the circumstance. But at the end of the day, the goal remained. All of that kind of changed pretty much the second I realized I was trans and my support system evaporated. I ended up having to pick up the scraps of some semblance of a life from what didn't go away once I started transitioning, and I'm still in the process of making my way out of that downward spiral (though I think I'm getting close, and maybe that's why I feel I can type this post now). Now I'm so far away from where I thought I'd be in my life, and it was so hard to shake this feeling of like... things not being the way they were supposed to be.

I realized though. This life that I'm building back up from the parts that didn't go away when I became a girl. It's built from the parts that I actually cared about and the parts that weren't hurting me. I realized what would have very likely happened if I didn't start transitioning. I would be on the same path with the same people with the same "support system" of people who hurt me. I realized that I don't even really care about that goal I had anymore, and I'm glad I don't. I realized I'm so glad to have this opportunity to just start over. To hell with what could have been if I wasn't trans. I'm so fucking happy to get to be a girl. I'm so fucking happy to be free from my parents and my former "friends" who I knew didn't really care about me even before I was trans.

Things are way way way different that I expected, but I realized that's not a bad thing. And if I got a chance to go back in time and change things, I simply could not find within myself the ability to. Things have been rough for me since May, but it's so much better than what I'd convinced myself was the reality I deviated from. This is my reality. I love myself and I love my life. Oh fuck I'm going to start crying

::: spoiler my past with depression and suicidal ideation

I love myself and I love my life

Damn. I've been majorly depressed for most my life. I go through days and weeks sometimes where I consider the possibility of killing myself just to not have to keep on living. It's incredible to me that I can type those words and know I truly mean it. Accepting my transness might be healing me in ways I didn't consider to be possible.

I've been feeling INCREDIBLY good these past few days and I'm hoping I can keep it up. :::

I have two friends who I think their eggs are cracking! Advice is welcome.

So I have 2 friends, one I spent the better part of this year helping with organizing and the other is my bestie's brother who I'm getting closer with.

First one, "M", started exploring enbyism around the same time as me. They changed their name and now go by they/them. Me, them, and a few others in our crew dropped the binary around the same time so earlier this year there was a lot of pronoun correcting among comrades going around. I think they are behind a few guerrilla boycott and other local agitating campaigns simply due to them inviting me to several popup groups on Facebook. I haven't directly asked them about it but the posting mannerisms are similar and they directly invited me and others from their friendlist to these groups. But recently they've been posting a lot more trans-progressive content than usual. M is an anarchist with a former self-education in Marxist theory with a focus on Black Liberation. One thing me and M kept telling our crew is that they all need to read and understand theory if the group is gonna be successful in our organizing. M is the only person in this group that I think is more read on theory than I am. We've had a bit of a strained relationship recently because M has manic episodes a lot and blew up at me over a Signal chat a while back while I was on suicide watch. I don't think they fully understood my situation so I have since forgave them and am even trying to get them a job at my employer. They recently posted a thing on FB:

trans kids — "you're too young to know!"

trans teens — "you need to go through puberty first to be sure!"

trans adults — "why is this just coming up now?"

every step of the way there's an excuse to try and keep trans people from living on authentic life and its all fkn bs

and made the comment "The whys now happen a lot!"

My other friend, "C", is still going by he/him and is top contender for more depressed than me whenever we hang out and talk. We don't hang out that much. A few years ago, we both got way too drunk at the brewery and talked about super depressing stuff(avoiding cw here but you get it). Last weekend, we were at the bar with his brother(my bestie) and fiance. Bro and fiance left and my and C hung out for most of the rest of the night. After a few more beers, he started to open up a lot about how he was sad his best friend moved to another city. We talked more and he told me how he's just been spiraling. I figured it was from the usual friend moving, job sucking sort of thing. He then said he might tell me about it later. Well, later happened. He followed me home to make sure I got back safely and we talked in the parking lot a bit. We talked more about his spiraling and that was when he told me he doesn't feel like he is in the right body. He hasn't told anyone else this. I'm also starting to wonder if he had a long-lasting crush on his friend who moved. But that might be a question for another day. I'm just wondering what do do, if anything at all or just be supportive with what he chooses. My fear is that he chooses the path of "watching the TV glow" and remains unhappy with himself for the rest of his life. I did a mental health check with him on Monday and he seems to be doing better, but knowing him, this swing in his mood will happen again. Not sure what to say if he brings it up again. I did tell him I do support him in whatever he chooses.

pleasantly surprised to get a much needed burst of euphoria this morning by once again walking past a mirror and looking like the biggest dyke

Figuring out/deciding what I am comfortable talking about/where boundaries should be regarding all of this with people irl is quite the thing

::: spoiler yapping So with a lot of other topics (even sensitive or more private ones) I guess there's fairly clear lines about who and what level you talk about them with. Society gives you something. People also bring stuff up, it comes up, I've seen it before. People have talked to me about politics, or sex, or whatever. I have an idea of that and know what level of sharing I'm comfortable in what situations. And a lot of that is influenced by society etc etc. Tons of time of me learning. Also I don't care about talking about most of it that much irl.

But in contrast, I really do want to talk about this stuff, and I have absolutely not seen it play out before. I want to talk about, you know, all the things. All the parts of this experience, at least with someone I trust. But I do not know if some parts are oversharing, I don't know how to bring it up, no one has really asked me too many questions. And like, what to talk about, what not to talk about, I don't know. ::: Okay I am getting quite tired, work called me in on my day off and had me there all day so I am going to bed early. idk how much sense my yapping made but hopefully someone can understand it and I will see you all tomorrow

You miss 💯% of the ducks you don't take home with you

I'm conflicted about the coming of Winter. On one hand, all my cutest clothes are winter clothes. On the other. Um. I don't like cold

::: spoiler anti volcel aktion I love kissin girls its so fun and just being in a snugglefuck session with a bunch of other trans women is so lovely. Its very healing tbhtbh

Found a loose estrogen tablet on the floor under my bed, no idea how old. Well waste not want not. Under the tongue

Still feels kinda surreal to think that I'm a girl.

::: spoiler extremely explicit volcel violations, talking about sex today i learned why they call it a blowjob because got damn sucking dick is a lot more work than i thought it would be . it also had a lot less flavor than i thought it would but i guess that's just girl dick. or at least that one particular girldick. i still want to try cis boy dick to see the taste difference one day :::

I don't hate the word woman anymore. I used to hate it because I couldn't separate it from the way I grew up with my dad using it. Every time I heard the word in any context it just made me feel my dad's misogyny. But I'm finding it a lot easier to apply the word to myself lately, and it's nice. I mostly called myself a girl or lady but I'm finding myself able to call myself a woman a lot easier.

::: spoiler misgendering The guy I'm living with while I find a place of my own to live in has misgendered me twice now

It's just weird getting misgendered by someone who actually tries not to. It's so much worse than getting misgendered by people who don't give a shit. I know he's trying his best but every time it happens it makes me feel like I'm still a guy to him. Even though he never knew me when I was one. :::

::: spoiler a list of things you are

• a nerd lol :::

i wish i could be more openly masc-leaning but there is a Lot of transphobia in my home environment also have been thinking of a name + pronoun change (he/they) and while many of my friends are extremely supportive if not trans themselves its still scary ! im also super indecisive about the name LOL

how did you guys land on a name? ive tried baby name websites but nothing has really clicked so far

Apparently Ruby Rose went from identifying as non binary to identifying as woman because people told them they couldn’t be lesbian and non binary. That makes me sad. They were my first trans awakening.

Looks like I will be hanging out with my cousin some time next week :) haven't talked about plans other then making a day of it.

I hate not knowing what to do with a day off

::: spoiler dysphoria most days I have a neutral-to-positive relationship with being tall^tm^, but then sometimes I get days like today where just everything else feels so small and it's like I'm a giant ogre. I can't even walk around my own apartment without feeling like some kind of ancient monster or something.

I just need a button I can press every now and again that makes me like 5'6" for a few hours :::

I just painted my nails for the first time in years and the first time since coming out. Feeling good and pretty, been moisturizing so my face is smooth :) theoretically getting estrogen this week too :))))

for a second i was gonna make this its own post but i got scared so i'm gonna just post it here

someone published a paper on puppy girls and tbh its really good and puts to words a lot of feelings i've had throughout my life and i think really gets to the core of what its like for a some of trans people

::: spoiler CW: puppy girls https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/08164649.2025.2556256#d1e630 (also there are memes in this paper which is very funny to me as it will like "if you refer to the meme in Figure 3, you'll see that this girl is in fact a 'good girl'") :::

My posting density is directly proportional to my mood lol

::: spoiler work place shit, pedophilia Not really a typical cw for this mega, thankfully. I try not to talk about work stuff because idk if anyone cares (understandably).

So for context, we work pretty closely with kids. Trainings on child abuse prevention, things you want to think about when touching kids, etc. Because of the nature of our work we do need to make physical contact with them.

So this foolish teenager goes up to two of the other employees and says "isn't it wild we basically get paid to be pedophiles". While they are working. With kids. They report him, obviously, and then he tries to say that he was asking what he should say if someone said that to him. Uh like wtf? They call in one of my managers who was sick to deal with it, they suspended him from working with kids for "at least" two months.

They tell him the situation needs to stay between them. He then goes and asks advice from one of the people who's on the shit list already (one of the managers fired her from the last place they both worked, there was a whole thing with that and her trying to get promoted and lying about that situation). They do this right outside the office, on camera, and she talks so loudly the manager heard everything.

What fucking fools honestly. I'm really hoping he was just being edgy or something. :::

KING GIZZ LIVE ON YT?!?!?

Every single one of my students and each of their parents so far as respected my gender identity like I'm some kind of normal person or something. Why can't the people who say they care about me be like this?

I can't get over how good it feels that I didn't even have to come out at this job. They asked me my pronouns when I got the job like they ask anyone else and they show up on my profile when students find me or are assigned to me. I don't have to do fucking anything at all special to be gendered the way I want. I just show up and it happens. I was helping a student with SAT stuff today and I heard her mom ask in the background "did you show her your PSAT scores?" And it felt so goooooooood because I didn't have to ask her to use her there she just did 😭😭😭😭😭😭

A student yesterday said goodbye to me by saying "I'll see you next time miss [first name]!" too

::: spoiler transphobia It makes me feel like people see me as a normal person instead of some kind of damned sinner who needs to be fixed by God like I've gotten used to people seeing me as :::

Transitioning has tested my personality and relationships more than anything else. Especially my personality. I did not think I was this incapable of trusting other people. I did not recognize the overwhelming "mental distance" between me and everyone else. And worst of all, I really did not expect the level of casual transphobia in my circle of friends or acquaintances.

Down with cis

They don't warn you as a trans lesbian that your thumb ring might get caught on your nipple bar while taking off your sports bra.

When you get accused of always barking in vc even though it happened a couple of times at most

hell yess i love this album, its one of my classic favs besides pendulum's "hold your color". My introduction to EDM was a mix of songs people used for World of warcraft machinima videos. and one used A&B's satellite. that then lead me to this album... and man. the timing's funny, i JUST read someone say its not really underrated and i guess thats true but i think it deserves a bit more respect. :P especially because the lyrics arent complex. they're verbose in the a way 12 yr old me found awesome-sauce. its got obvious love put into it. the kinda of loving effort ppl put into 200k work fanfics (??). its inspirational

I have recently found out that you can just kinda buy crystal balls. We’re talking wizard orbs. For pondering. I know it’s silly, but I super want one. I’m unsure how I feel about this development.

Trancegender

Every single negative thought pattern I have, every bit of pity I give to myself, I want to take it out and burn it. I'm tired of it.

I ain't tolerating these useless bumass thoughts that don't do the chores but leave behind a big mess every night! Apologies for the capitalist language, but I'm going to evict these frauds and losers.

Took my hvac tests and I did my best, I knew if I didn't go I wouldn't pass and now there's a chance. Part of me is hoping for a miracle because of how tough it was, miracles only happen if you try so I did all I could. I'll know the results in 2 weeks, I'll keep studying regardless. The dream's not ending here that I will swear on, I will drive me a fancy work truck one day doing calls and working on heat pumps.

I got some vegan nail polish for my birthday last month and tomorrow is a good time to finally put it on, it does bring up the question now which of my older polishes are vegan too and what they putting in them to not be vegan

::: spoiler spoiler I hate feeling lonely and isolated and not having things to talk about and conversation topics to bring up to help with it. :::

I feel like I might be gender fluid to some degree, but not having a femme mode fucking kills me on the inside.

Like, I really don't feel as much dysphoria as other people, and the idea of having shape-shifting powers so I can go back and forth is appealing.

If I ever got such powers, I'd spend like 95% of the time being femme ... at first. Then once I "get it out of my system" I might opt to stay masc for like 20 or 30% of the time.

And I would probably also be more comfortable with the idea of dating a girl if I had already dated a guy first (<<-- look at this buffoon, I've never dated anyone). I need to put my "get pregnant" instincts to rest first.

::: spoiler bottom question Okay so I swear I saw someone talk about how they shrank after like a month of hrt, is it going to be like noticeable and is it going to be kinda soon? I hate them and would be a big fan of them shriving up :::

I'm changing a professional registration to reflect that I'm actually female. And it's amazing how many documents it wants, the forms have to be done by hand, then the documents have to be certified and then uploaded. And it's like my state government wasn't this strict. They were like "oh word? you're a chick? let me change that for you"

Leaving work early today because I just can't. My boss decided to let his boss know so now I look real dependable too. And I have another busy two days ahead of me. Fuck me.

I love being trans!!!! 🏳️‍⚧️❤️🏳️‍⚧️

::: spoiler spoiler I just can't make peace with this. It's horrible. More crying and urges. I just want to die. I don't want to be trans. This is hell. I don't want to keep going and keep dealing with it all. :::

I couldn't resist. We're starting a TNG rewatch

My back hurts for no reason *unfathomable rage*

I didn't ever do anything to earn this, it happened for as near as I can tell NO REASON. Not sleeping funny, not doing an unsafe pull or carry, just suddenly decided it was gonna hurt.

This coming week is the first full week of students with this new job. I'm kind of excited to get to help so many students in a one on one setting but I'm also kind of nervous. I have 31 different Zoom calls to look forward to lol

::: spoiler horny tgirl frotting 🥵 :::

::: spoiler CW I guess kinda lewd? so i ordered some lube online in powder form and mixed it up, but the only thing i could find that i wouldn't want to re-use that was big enough to hold 500mL of the stuff was a peanut butter jar. so now i have this rather large quantity of clear stuff with some small bubbles suspended in it labelled "peanut butter..."

what the heck am i supposed to do with all this stuff, when the bottle said it would make 40 L i was like "oh that's very economical" and now i'm wondering how the heck i'll ever go through it in my life :::

You can't see that much in the pic I guess but the third set of bags is done, its just the parts under the car left and about 2 sheets of stickers left. Also tiktok shop showed me another 1/8 scale with 3500 pieces for 40, I know its bad to buy stuff before the holidays but that's a really good price.. paid like 70 for the other 3500 piece cars. Also found a millennium falcon I want...

Work used me as a demo with one intentional mistake for people to spot and I made a second (its not really something we usually do in practice but probably should) and I complained a bunch to one of my co workers abt it pissing me off that I did that and then he like, came up to me later and asked why I was so mad about it. I'm just hard on myself man idk (it was actually really nice of him though)

Also another update from today, there's a trans guy in support group so I'm pretty happy about that, didn't get to talk too much this session but still glad there's someone who might be in a more similar position to me.

Bringing this picture of a rooster as hair color inspo to my hairstylist (its me, I am the hairstylist)

HEV suit voice: "Dysphoria detected. Estrogen administered"

Unfortunately nothing really happened today worth talking about. Did another injection I guess. Really like talking with people here but yea, nothing to report :/

I wish my friends understood that a dating app profile can be ideologically bad

ACAB includes these guys

I'm gonna give up on getting a job, honestly. I got like 4 people trying to make me not give up lol. Being half in the closet too, trying to get a job is torture, I not only gotta pretend to be someone I'm not, I gotta pretend to not be trans

::: spoiler cw:mention of suicide

Do you know why my diagnosis/therapy for depression and suicidal thoughts has been cancelled?

Because the available providers don't work with my insurance company.

Behold! Capitalism! Truly the greatest system ever created.

:::

Worst part of going on a trip with family is definitely stressing they're going to see my shit, obviously the injection stuff itself is what I'm most scared of but I'd definitely be made fun of for my pink razors and stuff too. I am probably going to be stressed the whole time because of it tbh.

::: spoiler cw: talking about kink stuff if you had told me 10 years ago that etsy of all places would become the best place to buy kink stuff i would not have believed you

also i guess amazon? this is so weird to me

also: most of the stuff on there if you're just browsing i have decided is very scary :::

I need pets and cuddles. fuuuuuuuuck

ⓘ 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘵. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳.

I've been dressing more fem around my friends. I'm happy I dared to take that step, although I'm sad I didn't do it earlier

I really liked Sirens Of The Sea, i sent it to my mermaid sister cuz we both grew up listening to trance.

Today I woke up and chose red waterlines on my lower lids and eyegloss on the upper lids, I love how this combo looks!!

I texted a guy about a date yesterday and he gave a mixed response and hasn't said anything since. I wonder if I made some kind of misstep

What day should I be doing my injection if I have a blood test on a Tuesday?

My wife says I look like "a combination of both jay and silent bob, and daria (without glasses.)"

:::spoiler cannabis paraphernalia mention

Mostly bc I am wearing an army green trench coat, the black platform boots i mentioned before, have my long hair down, a beanie, and a bong in my hand.

critical support to my ass for not shitting on my damn whatnots

Still getting ready for my big HVAC test and I do see the means of knowing a bit about all the systems instead of just focusing on my specialty, all of it being connected to each other to do thermaldynamics is fun. It's all interconnected like I thought I do away with gas furnaces but nah still gonna need to know it all

your boyn't can't be trusted with spiced whiskey this shit is too yummy

I really don't think I'll ever out grow sleeping with my plushies, I had a phase where I didn't after high school but got back to them. I feel as a coping mechanism they really work well for me that I'm considering carrying one of the smaller ones with me in my bag now. Labubus are still the devil but if they normalize having plushies in public maybe they aren't fully evil. Even if they don't I'm still gonna do it since I really don't think I can not be me.

::: spoiler horny Horny pretty much every day but masturbating is really unsatisfying and not the vibe at all. Kinda annoying. If one of these things would change that'd be great.

Also wish I had someone to cuddle up with... not sure what else but I'm sure something...

Maybe horny will go away fr this time idk... :::

🎵Oceanlab, take me by the hand...🎵

woof

Im so used to running on high cortisol, high adrenaline, over caffeinated, barely time to think at work. I picked up a nice casual shift at a place I used to work and none of the patients are yelling at me? Theyre actually quite sweet? No one is tied down?? Im not providing futile care??? I get to do real nursing and talk to people, not just barely have time to assess and hand out meds and make sure no doses were fucked up or contraindicated? We're not barely holding a guy together because hes "too stable for ICU" (yeah right)??

I legit feel like Im skydiving without a parachute, like something bad is about to happen, but its just nice. No one told my nervous system that work can be chill

My hair has grown to the "constantly gets in my face" stage and I love it.

i wamna do a thread, sign me up for a thread yes

Halfway through this mega and imma finally listen to OceanLab lol. Also shout-out to @cursesten@hexbear.net for reminding me about hold your colour, one of my all time fav edm albums

watching my dipshit brother play gex with his loser friends: "wow this is what video games were like before DEI"

I've successfully turned what started out as a girl rotting following a chaotic dreams and unrest, into a very comfy cozy peaceful chore day. I've got a stick of incense burning, relaxing music with nature sounds, and a fresh basket if clean laundry to fold.

Listening to Sirens of the Sea for the first time as a closeted bby in high school was REVELATORY. Recently rediscovered it and sobbed ugly happy tears

Being a book reader means family usually thank me for history lessons I go off on 😌, it's me being really but it's very much something I like about myself and admire in others. Once my testing done tomorrow gonna dive back into it, still need to finish the corporation but I also checked out another book called survival of the richest. Unironically I feel bless for my ability to read and the public library I go to 🙏

I think the problem with being a sincere dweeb (talking from personal experience) I believe noble goals with my full heart. Hearing about the goals of weatherization of which protecting the most vulnerable people (kids, elderly, infirmed, poor) from extreme heat or cold is vital and this can only really be done if a house is properly weatherized. HVAC is built on this since what's the point of 'cooling' a space if it won't stay 'cool' or hemorrhages money while doing so. Because of climate change extreme weather is gonna get less extreme and more the norm.

I think of my own family how the very act of turning on the AC was something of a devil's bargain because costs. What proper weatherization could have saved, maintenance of our AC system, and even if the duct work was optimal or we even had a right sized unit. Not to mention proper diagnosis "does this really just need more charge vs a problem with air flow." We were too poor to afford it ourselves and had to rely on government programs to help but even then it's a sweet spot of you gotta be poor enough because of means testing.

Idk how many of these goals are believed in or not or if I'm being a sucker buying it but damn it means something to me. I can see myself one day if I start my own business to do some pro bono work especially if it's an easy enough fix.

Thinking about the 1993 film Mrs Doubtfire...the film makes far more sense if Daniel is a trans woman, not understanding this or having the language to, and instead developing a female persona for a ruse to see their family (what cis person would think of this?), who by the end of the film they still use as an actress on live TV?

::: spoiler dropping my worst take yet, US politics I really only care about gay marriage getting overturned in the way that it means we are getting our shit pushed back further. Being able to sign a piece of paper and be "married" is so much less important then care for my medical condition, correct identification documents, all the other shit we as trans people have to deal with, marriage is so far down my list of things I gaf about. And I'm gay and trans so really cis gays shouldn't be able to say anything. Care for my life ruining medical condition just straight up is more important then my ability to sign some stupid paper and get a tax break and shit. My life not being a living hell is a bigger deal.

But no one really gives a fuck about transsex people so fuck me I guess. :::

I think I might've overcooked my beans for my chili :( I'm not too worried about the texture, if it ends up coming out more like split pea soup I wouldn't mind. I read that overcooking them can lead to nutrient loss but hopefully since the cooking in happening in the chili, the nutrients at least stay in. As long as they don't break down a lot.

::: spoiler cw: meat I should've just made the chili vegan anyway. The only reason I'm cooking it this long is to break down the connective tissue in the meat I added so that it's nice and tender. Not that I couldn't also just pre-cook the meat in the pressure cooker, but I've been meaning to cut back and stop eating animal products anyway. :::

The culture shock when reading Chinese Web novels can be. Oof. On one hand, they can get quite sexist and homophonic. On the other hand, THEY KEEP TURNING MEN INTO WOMEN.

This is the second time in this book where the main male antagonist turns into a girl! And I've only read 3 of the volumes! A 66% girlification chance for the antagonists is terrifying.

Oceanlab/Above & Beyond are my heart <333333 with some of their lyrics I swear it's like they read my mind. Not to mention the beautiful voices they keep collecting. Like actual angels I swear to god. Have you heard their latest album, Bigger Than All of Us? Very spiritual meaning.

I remember that album. It's nice

i have a trip in a couple of days and my phone case is falling apart due to the adhesive not working anymore... and now i am just asking what the hell is hot glue even for? every time i try to use it it

1. smells bad
2. does not affix things to other things at all even if i add pressure etc.

any ideas? i dont have any other glue, electrical tape on the inside no good ... i dont want to be without a case for the trip as i drop things a lot

Huh. I completely missed that VtM Bloodlines 2 came out last and was kind of eh by all reports.

Yay new mega!

My webnovel addiction is horrifically bad ngl. I've read 2000 chapters in the past 4 months. That is not good. I think I'm going to have to take a break so that I can read web comics instead.

Is “hun” gender neutral? Because sometimes I have this strong urge to pretend to be a friendly middle-aged waitress who works at the local diner.

I need a villain to plot my downfall

Somehow ive listened to a bunch of trance adjacent to Oceanlab but have apparently never listened. Anyways I put on Sirens Of The Sea

::: spoiler cw: self harm i picked up a piece of broken glass walking back from the train. When I got home I washed it and then cut myself with it. As it turns out it wasn't super good at it? Only one part was really sharp and it was too fragile to really do much with for fear of breaking off glass in my arm (which I guess is my threshold for "bad" self harm). After a while I switched over to a razor blade which gave much better results. I kept telling myself "you're so weak" over and over again as I did it.

I actually did a better job than I used to in college, the outer skin is staying kinda parted. I know I have to tell my therapist tomorrow, and now I have to be careful about showing my right arm at work... :::

There has been an unfortunate reduction in posting by me. This is due to the horrible pain in my arm which started happening for no apparent reason. I didn't sleep last night cause the pain didn't stop.

Let's see who is stronger, my tiredness 😩 or my arm pain 💪

Kiwawa says trans rights

Hexbear trans review how I do my injections

::: spoiler spoiler

I inject estrodial valerate subcutaneously

I inject every 3 days

I draw with a an 18 gauge needle, and inject an equal amount of air as my injection calls for

When I actually draw, I hold the vial upside down, and draw a tad more than I need then push the excess E back into the vial to clear all air bubbles

I inject into my lower stomach at least 2 inches away from my belly button and squeeze my injection site, alternating every side of my body between injections, at a 45 degree angle, with the bevel/hole facing away from my body

my needle is an inch long, and I put it in about half way

When I have finished pluning the injection, I let go of my body squeeze and pull the needle out

:::

I found YouTube links in your post. Here are links to the same videos on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

Link 1:

• yewtu.be
• inv.nadeko.net
• yt.artemislena.eu
• piped.video

Link 2:

• yewtu.be
• inv.nadeko.net
• yt.artemislena.eu
• piped.video

Link 3:

• yewtu.be
• inv.nadeko.net
• yt.artemislena.eu
• piped.video

Link 4:

• yewtu.be
• inv.nadeko.net
• yt.artemislena.eu
• piped.video

Link 5:

• yewtu.be
• inv.nadeko.net
• yt.artemislena.eu
• piped.video

Link 6:

• yewtu.be
• inv.nadeko.net
• yt.artemislena.eu
• piped.video