"America is more divided than ever — but how is it affecting our love lives? I spent a year dating conservative men to find out" - Vera Papisova | Cosmopolitan
Pretty bad article, but a couple interesting points that we all probably know already. Since it's a liberal woman, it's new to her I guess.
I told him that I was born in Russia and was a writer. He showed me a list he’d written of his favourite desserts in the city. It was a sober hobby he’d started during the pandemic, going to restaurants by himself, sampling sweets. He made a lot of lists, he said, most of them food-related. I asked what other kinds he made.
“Lists of lies liberal white women tell about Donald Trump,” he replied.
Suddenly, his leg was shaking. He grabbed the edges of the table and raised his voice: “White, liberal women are a plague on our society.”
He proceeded to drink 11 iced coffees.
. . .
“They say horrible things about me and make everyone hate me and think I’m a bad person,” he said. He was staring at a point in the distance, speaking like he was in some kind of trance.
“What did they say about you?” I asked.
He snapped out of it. “Oh, not me,” he answered. “I meant Donald Trump.”
Over the course of a few dates, he’d make this mistake often, where he’d talk about Trump in the first person. And I came to realise that while I was trying to separate Jared from who he voted for, he may have been personally struggling to do the exact same thing, just in a very different way. It became clear to me that he truly loved Trump not just because he identified with Trump the politician but because he identified with Trump the person being considered ‘bad’ by progressive standards.
. . .
On a different week, I met up with Jake*, 36. He was on his second mezcal negroni, and I was sipping a seltzer with lime, when I asked him why his last relationship ended. “My previous girlfriend killed our child,” he said. “Like, she’s in jail now for murder?” I asked. “No, but she should be,” he explained, shooting back his drink. “She got an abortion and killed our child without asking me.” I took a deep breath and tried to listen carefully.
. . .
At a chic omakase place, Matthew*, 25, from New Jersey was going off about how “we should have never let a woman be head of the Secret Service”. With each course, I fired off questions about his upbringing. He mentioned online groups where there were “others like him”, the kind where people whose radical-to-me beliefs find validation — and even more than validation, identity itself. Matthew later revealed he has a swastika tattoo.
. . .
I didn’t feel that any of the men I dated were that interested in me as a person or where I came from either. I rarely got questions like, Why are you Republican-curious? What drew you to our dating app? What are your family values? What are you looking for in a partner? What are your goals in life?
. . .
On our last date, we were walking through a park when I told him we couldn’t keep seeing each other, that I disagreed with most of his beliefs and didn’t align with the future he wanted. Confused, he replied that from his point of view, we actually agreed on most things.
No, I said, we didn’t, which he would know if he’d asked me any questions about myself. He still leaned in and tried to kiss me. We never saw each other again.
Pretty sure it took me multiple dates to reveal to my wife that I play TCGs and videogames competitively when we met...
This guy's got his nazi shit out on the first date
57
fox [comrade/them] - 1mon
Hey you gotta get those deal breakers out early, otherwise you're wasting time
15
Acute_Engles [he/him, any] - 1mon
"Hi, before we begin our date please look up a fighting game called 'skullgirls' no don't click on fanart... please stop looking at the fanart... anyway i was top 8 in the world at that game for a bit. "
18
ClassIsOver [he/him] - 1mon
Yeah, I was married before I told my wife that I'd been playing Pokémon Go when we met.
11
LeninWeave [none/use name, any] - 1mon
This guy's got his nazi shit out on the first date
10
axont [she/her, comrade/them] - 1mon
Every one of these men should be regarded as a dangerous feral animal. What the fuck. Not to mention several of them have these fantasies about living in a cottage with a farm and a wife who feeds the donkeys and yet they're living in Manhattan going to fancy cake restaurants while wearing nerd ass tweed jackets. It's all just posturing and aesthetics to thinly hide how much of a horny creep they are. Several of these guys should be investigated to see if there are human remains in their homes, because I am sincerely freaked out. The guy who talks about Trump in the first person should be a psychiatric case in an Oliver Sacks book, seriously what the fuck
I hate everything about this and no one should be subject to the presence of these men more than 5 seconds.
55
AOCapitulator [they/them, she/her] - 1mon
The guy who talks about Trump in the first person should be a psychiatric case in an Oliver Sacks book, seriously what the fuck
“Lists of lies liberal white women tell about Donald Trump,” he replied.
Suddenly, his leg was shaking. He grabbed the edges of the table and raised his voice: “White, liberal women are a plague on our society.”
He proceeded to drink 11 iced coffees.
I'm still not convinced this isn't a quote from a satirical hitchhikers guide type story
22
DragonBallZinn [he/him, they/them] - 1mon
I am begging libs to stop trying to understand CHUDs. Stop forming these one-sided friendships and stroking their egos. All you’re doing is making these entitled dickweeds feel like they actually are the big PP’d big muscled gigachads they think they are.
They just kicked your ass in both election and culture wars and you’re just taking it all with a smile? Grow a spine and stop rewarding them.
50
Civility [none/use name] - 1mon
😠
29
comrade_pibb [comrade/them] - 1mon
this is my favorite bit on this bear shit site
23
segfault11 [she/her, any] - 1mon
bit
😔
14
vegeta1 [he/him] - 1mon
Nah I wanna eat this bit alive while it screams "now is not the time for division"
10
WokePalpatine [he/him] - 1mon
Exactly. It's the same story every time with these "trying tounderstand the right" articles.
16
purpleworm [none/use name] - 1mon
Trying to understand chuds is a good thing, but dating them and a lot of other lib approaches to that understanding are not good.
11
huf [he/him] - 1mon
but it's good practice for when they'll inetivably openly ally with the chuds, when it's time to choose between communists and fascists.
6
RION [she/her] - 1mon
You did HWAT
47
LeninWeave [none/use name, any] - 1mon
Not to stray close to victim blaming rhetoric, but yeah this seems INCREDIBLY self-destructive and inadvisable.
35
Robert_Kennedy_Jr [xe/xem, xey/xem] - 1mon
I mean who hasn't gone on dates with men who have sent them death threats in the past?
27
Civility [none/use name] - 1mon
🥰
8
Carl [he/him] - 1mon
“They say horrible things about me and make everyone hate me and think I’m a bad person,” he said. He was staring at a point in the distance, speaking like he was in some kind of trance.
“What did they say about you?” I asked.
He snapped out of it. “Oh, not me,” he answered. “I meant Donald Trump.”
the article is worth it for this holy shit
45
Omegamint [comrade/them, doe/deer] - 1mon
This guy sounds exactly like my brother, who I figured only talks like this because he is both a white nationalist and also schizophrenic. These dudes ain’t alright.
23
ShimmeringKoi [comrade/them] - 1mon
Dude got Sutter Cane'd by President McRib
11
SkingradGuard [he/him, comrade/them] - 1mon
This is what a steady diet of political slop on social media does to your smooth chud brain lmao
7
InevitableSwing [none/use name] - 1mon
The dems are really awful. What should I do? I know! I'll lurch towards fascism!
On the app I’d ultimately go with, I presented myself truthfully, as a Republican-curious woman tired of the Democrats’ hopelessness and constant pivoting during a highly charged election year. I come from a liberal background, I explained in my initial chats with matches, but was open to new perspectives.
This actually made me laugh...
I was early to meet another match, Tom*, 27, outside St. Patrick’s Cathedral in Manhattan for a second date. He was already sitting on the steps, wearing a tweed suit and reading a paperback book. A scene right out of a rom-com, if this were Hollywood.
“I’m not that religious,” he’d told me on our first date. “But I want my future wife to teach our kids biblical values.”
What follows is predictable as can be.
As we admired a panel of stained glass, I asked him about the term ‘biblical patriarchy’, popular online among a set of women who call themselves anti-feminist because they are returning to biblical womanhood. “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord,” Tom recited. “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.”
This is Ephesians 5:22-24, which I’d seen cited on TikTok, blogs, and podcasts by Christian nationalists, tradwives, and the men’s rights movement, usually used to justify conforming to gender roles as prescribed by the Bible.
I asked Tom what he thought a biblical woman even is. “Women should be submissive to their husbands, and some people believe they should be trained,” he said. “It’s about knowing your role in nature. It’s undesirable for women to be too independent. As a man, I want to take care of you, and I believe in that biology. The liberal women I’ve dated emasculate men with their aggressive energy.”
43
kristina [she/her] - 1mon
Women should be submissive to their husbands, and some people believe they should be trained
undisguised fetish shit
38
Awoo [she/her] - 1mon
Instead of exploring kink in a healthy way, christian shame has made them normalise it so they don't have to feel ashamed about it being kink, because kink is d*gener*cy and shameful and blah blah blah. It's not shameful if it's supposed to be the norm!
30
kristina [she/her] - 1mon
The biggest issue is they expect everyone and all of society to bow to their dehumanizing kinks even outside of a sexual context
24
Awoo [she/her] - 1mon
Yes.
12
DragonBallZinn [he/him, they/them] - 1mon
I am fucking sick of being told we need to shut up and listen to these dipshits.
Call me when leftists finally stop being the designated bad guys with no nuance and someone actually wants to understand us. I’ll wait.
25
Awoo [she/her] - 1mon
The liberal women I’ve dated emasculate men with their aggressive energy.”
Lmao dude just admitted that dating liberals made him feel inferior and emasculated by them
33
axont [she/her, comrade/them] - 1mon
This guy should be immediately arrested and forcibly given psychiatric treatment and/or shot because he is a danger to polite society. This man should not be permitted to be within 50 meters of a school.
23
30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs [she/her] - 1mon
For their date, she should have taken him out at the Barbaracue Pit
17
TreadOnMe [none/use name] - 1mon
I love how, despite supposedly reading, he is completely philosophically confused. He believes that God has determined what the correct course of action is, which is determined not through proper faith practice, but through biology and that women who do not conform to this exude an 'aggressive energy'. Bro literally just repeats what he hears around him, has never had an original thought in his life.
14
BeanisBrain [he/him, they/them] - 1mon
It’s about knowing your role in nature.
If women's subordination is so natural than why does it have to be upheld with violence and terror
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord,” Tom recited. “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.”
This is Ephesians 5:22-24
Bunker Boy was right
14
StillNoLeftLeft [none/use name, she/her] - 1mon
Yikes, skin crawl, yikes.
This person basically willingly did self harm for journalism, not sure how to feel about that either.
40
Keld [he/him, any] - 1mon
This person basically willingly did self harm for journalism, not sure how to feel about that either.
You're assuming they didn't just rationalise having sex with a bunch of assholes, or that they didn't just lie. This is cosmo.
34
Wheaties [she/her] - 1mon
Saw an interview with her on this a while back. I don't think she did. Pretty big on the journalism ethics, very careful not to say any specific guy or group was a natzi unless they specifically self-identified as one, that kinda thing. Sleeping with the subjects of her reporting without disclosing it seems unlikely.
Also, it would just put her in even more danger, with some of these guys.
10
LeninWeave [none/use name, any] - 1mon
He made a lot of lists
uh oh
38
ClassIsOver [he/him] - 1mon
IBM helps him keep track.
11
LeZero [he/him] - 1mon
If that article is true, those guys are assholes and monsters but
He proceeded to drink 11 iced coffees.
Is a very funny line
38
comrade_pibb [comrade/them] - 1mon
"White, liberal women are a plague on our society." i scraem. I proceed to drink 11 ice coffes and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of piss
31
LeZero [he/him] - 1mon
Vibrating to a higher plane of existence
16
segfault11 [she/her, any] - 1mon
he’s like a dril character
27
LeninWeave [none/use name, any] - 1mon
I told him that I was born in Russia
This single line explains most of the remainder of this article.
If the USSR was still around, maybe she wouldn't be "Republican-curious".
35
10TH_OF_SEPTEMBER_CALL [any, any] - 1mon
Ew. Imagine fucking a fascist.
When we fight my wife tells me to go read marx
35
duderium [he/him] - 1mon
My wife is a democratic socialist 😭
11
nothx [he/him] - 1mon
Don’t worry, we’re all libs here.
14
10TH_OF_SEPTEMBER_CALL [any, any] - 1mon
at least she's not a fascist.
I mean I knew a very beautiful woman from france. Something could have happened between us, there was a spark, but then she started whining about gipsies and arabs.
3
Lussy [he/him, des/pair] - 1mon
White liberal woman only dates conservative men…more at every hour
33
vegeta1 [he/him] - 1mon
Neither of them are the catch they think they are. Just screw each other and leave us alone
17
Lussy [he/him, des/pair] - 1mon
As a brown dude I’ve always had way better relations with self identified conservative women because they virtually hold the same fundamental values as the lib women but actually force themselves to be open minded.
6
SkingradGuard [he/him, comrade/them] - 1mon
but actually force themselves to be open minded.
that's hard to believe
8
Nopeace [he/him, comrade/them] - 1mon
"He proceeded to drink 11 iced coffees." jesus christ. i dont know if the caffeine or sugar content is more concerning here. that HAS to make you feel as awful as your politics dude
31
ShimmeringKoi [comrade/them] - 1mon
That line was so
14
LeninWeave [none/use name, any] - 1mon
Vibrating at a frequency nearly beyond human perception.
"Has anyone ever told you about races?"
12
JohnBrownsBawdy [none/use name] - 1mon
Keeps poking you with the calipers.
5
robotElder2 [he/him] - 1mon
Why is my coffee shaking?! I don't want my coffee shaken!
14
BeanisBrain [he/him, they/them] - 1mon
White, liberal women are a plague on our society.
It's not like white liberal men are any better
She got an abortion and killed our child without asking me.
If I was carrying this asshole's child I'd abort too
27
came_apart_at_Kmart [he/him, comrade/them] - 1mon
ah, true princes of the city.
like another commenter said, the Trad b.s. feels like open sex fantasy/fetish pushing for a highly specific and ritualized total power exchange.
if i say, "no thanks, that's not my scene" i get called slurs or otherwise accused of being the deviant sex pervert.
i can't imagine knowingly subjecting myself to one of those people on a date. my accidental encounters have been terrible enough.
27
BeanisBrain [he/him, they/them] - 1mon
if i say, "no thanks, that's not my scene" i get called slurs or otherwise accused of being the deviant sex pervert.
No one is pushier about their sexuality than vanilla cishets
15
RION [she/her] - 1mon
I'll be honest I'm struggling to read this without suspecting some fabulism. The Jared story and all its wrinkles are just too convenient for the kind of story she's writing. Plus the way the men speak like they're NPCs loredumping, although that might just be her taking more liberty in cleaning up their words than I might.
24
Belly_Beanis [he/him] - 1mon
I don't think there was much embellishment, TBH. Incel/MGTOW/PUA shit has become mainstream within American conservatism, along with the Alt-Right (something also infested with incel shit).
It's horrifying to think there's this many men walking around with these thoughts, willing to say this stuff on a first date. It's worse when you know these were just the guys who exposed themselves. There's a bunch of men's groups who thinkremoved should be legal, enjoy watching snuff content of real women getting murdered, and that the age of consent is a decade too high.
These groups aren't even hard to find. Just a few minutes on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, or r*ddit will have them in your algorithm soon after you click an Andrew Tate or Jordan Peterson video.
23
RION [she/her] - 1mon
But really, the odds of finding the guy who sent you death threats years ago on a dating app, both of them swiping each other, going on two dates (during one of which he causes a public scene), and he's got a sympathetic backstory that nevertheless can't wrest him from MAGAdom? Very Stephen Glass coded
12
ShimmeringKoi [comrade/them] - 1mon
I'm actually inclined to believe it because from what relatives of qanon people say, they actually do tend to talk like stereotypical npcs loredumping
12
miz [any, any] - 1mon
I don't believe her about the 11 iced coffees, that's so much fucking caffeine
11
nefertum - 1mon
I'd rather stab out my eyes with a fork before dating a conservative man 🤢🤢🤢🤢
23
ColonelKataffy [he/him] - 1mon
hey now don't be selfish, conservative men have perfectly good eyes for fork stabbing
20
ClassIsOver [he/him] - 1mon
No, no, it's ok if you're doing it for an article.
13
Horse {they/them} - 1mon
why in the name of christ would you do such a thing
23
Civility [none/use name] - 1mon
🥰
10
CleverOleg [he/him] - 1mon
I’m not sure you’re getting a representative sample of conservative American men if your dating pool is limited to NYC.
18
SkingradGuard [he/him, comrade/them] - 1mon
they're all the same though, they all consume the same slop and love it
WokePalpatine in politics
"America is more divided than ever — but how is it affecting our love lives? I spent a year dating conservative men to find out" - Vera Papisova | Cosmopolitan
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a63915627/political-beliefs-dating-app-experiment/Pretty bad article, but a couple interesting points that we all probably know already. Since it's a liberal woman, it's new to her I guess.
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a63915627/political-beliefs-dating-app-experiment/
Pretty sure it took me multiple dates to reveal to my wife that I play TCGs and videogames competitively when we met...
This guy's got his nazi shit out on the first date
Hey you gotta get those deal breakers out early, otherwise you're wasting time
"Hi, before we begin our date please look up a fighting game called 'skullgirls' no don't click on fanart... please stop looking at the fanart... anyway i was top 8 in the world at that game for a bit. "
Yeah, I was married before I told my wife that I'd been playing Pokémon Go when we met.
Every one of these men should be regarded as a dangerous feral animal. What the fuck. Not to mention several of them have these fantasies about living in a cottage with a farm and a wife who feeds the donkeys and yet they're living in Manhattan going to fancy cake restaurants while wearing nerd ass tweed jackets. It's all just posturing and aesthetics to thinly hide how much of a horny creep they are. Several of these guys should be investigated to see if there are human remains in their homes, because I am sincerely freaked out. The guy who talks about Trump in the first person should be a psychiatric case in an Oliver Sacks book, seriously what the fuck
I hate everything about this and no one should be subject to the presence of these men more than 5 seconds.
I'm still not convinced this isn't a quote from a satirical hitchhikers guide type story
I am begging libs to stop trying to understand CHUDs. Stop forming these one-sided friendships and stroking their egos. All you’re doing is making these entitled dickweeds feel like they actually are the big PP’d big muscled gigachads they think they are.
They just kicked your ass in both election and culture wars and you’re just taking it all with a smile? Grow a spine and stop rewarding them.
😠
this is my favorite bit on this bear shit site
😔
Nah I wanna eat this bit alive while it screams "now is not the time for division"
Exactly. It's the same story every time with these "trying tounderstand the right" articles.
Trying to understand chuds is a good thing, but dating them and a lot of other lib approaches to that understanding are not good.
but it's good practice for when they'll inetivably openly ally with the chuds, when it's time to choose between communists and fascists.
You did HWAT
Not to stray close to victim blaming rhetoric, but yeah this seems INCREDIBLY self-destructive and inadvisable.
I mean who hasn't gone on dates with men who have sent them death threats in the past?
🥰
the article is worth it for this holy shit
This guy sounds exactly like my brother, who I figured only talks like this because he is both a white nationalist and also schizophrenic. These dudes ain’t alright.
Dude got Sutter Cane'd by President McRib
This is what a steady diet of political slop on social media does to your smooth chud brain lmao
The dems are really awful. What should I do? I know! I'll lurch towards fascism!
This actually made me laugh...
What follows is predictable as can be.
undisguised fetish shit
Instead of exploring kink in a healthy way, christian shame has made them normalise it so they don't have to feel ashamed about it being kink, because kink is d*gener*cy and shameful and blah blah blah. It's not shameful if it's supposed to be the norm!
The biggest issue is they expect everyone and all of society to bow to their dehumanizing kinks even outside of a sexual context
Yes.
I am fucking sick of being told we need to shut up and listen to these dipshits.
Call me when leftists finally stop being the designated bad guys with no nuance and someone actually wants to understand us. I’ll wait.
Lmao dude just admitted that dating liberals made him feel inferior and emasculated by them
This guy should be immediately arrested and forcibly given psychiatric treatment and/or shot because he is a danger to polite society. This man should not be permitted to be within 50 meters of a school.
For their date, she should have taken him out at the Barbaracue Pit
I love how, despite supposedly reading, he is completely philosophically confused. He believes that God has determined what the correct course of action is, which is determined not through proper faith practice, but through biology and that women who do not conform to this exude an 'aggressive energy'. Bro literally just repeats what he hears around him, has never had an original thought in his life.
If women's subordination is so natural than why does it have to be upheld with violence and terror
Bunker Boy was right
Yikes, skin crawl, yikes.
This person basically willingly did self harm for journalism, not sure how to feel about that either.
You're assuming they didn't just rationalise having sex with a bunch of assholes, or that they didn't just lie. This is cosmo.
Saw an interview with her on this a while back. I don't think she did. Pretty big on the journalism ethics, very careful not to say any specific guy or group was a natzi unless they specifically self-identified as one, that kinda thing. Sleeping with the subjects of her reporting without disclosing it seems unlikely.
Also, it would just put her in even more danger, with some of these guys.
uh oh
IBM helps him keep track.
If that article is true, those guys are assholes and monsters but
Is a very funny line
"White, liberal women are a plague on our society." i scraem. I proceed to drink 11 ice coffes and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of piss
Vibrating to a higher plane of existence
he’s like a dril character
This single line explains most of the remainder of this article.
If the USSR was still around, maybe she wouldn't be "Republican-curious".
Ew. Imagine fucking a fascist.
When we fight my wife tells me to go read marx
My wife is a democratic socialist 😭
Don’t worry, we’re all libs here.
at least she's not a fascist.
I mean I knew a very beautiful woman from france. Something could have happened between us, there was a spark, but then she started whining about gipsies and arabs.
White liberal woman only dates conservative men…more at every hour
Neither of them are the catch they think they are. Just screw each other and leave us alone
As a brown dude I’ve always had way better relations with self identified conservative women because they virtually hold the same fundamental values as the lib women but actually force themselves to be open minded.
that's hard to believe
"He proceeded to drink 11 iced coffees." jesus christ. i dont know if the caffeine or sugar content is more concerning here. that HAS to make you feel as awful as your politics dude
That line was so
Vibrating at a frequency nearly beyond human perception.
"Has anyone ever told you about races?"
Keeps poking you with the calipers.
It's not like white liberal men are any better
If I was carrying this asshole's child I'd abort too
ah, true princes of the city.
like another commenter said, the Trad b.s. feels like open sex fantasy/fetish pushing for a highly specific and ritualized total power exchange.
if i say, "no thanks, that's not my scene" i get called slurs or otherwise accused of being the deviant sex pervert.
i can't imagine knowingly subjecting myself to one of those people on a date. my accidental encounters have been terrible enough.
No one is pushier about their sexuality than vanilla cishets
I'll be honest I'm struggling to read this without suspecting some fabulism. The Jared story and all its wrinkles are just too convenient for the kind of story she's writing. Plus the way the men speak like they're NPCs loredumping, although that might just be her taking more liberty in cleaning up their words than I might.
I don't think there was much embellishment, TBH. Incel/MGTOW/PUA shit has become mainstream within American conservatism, along with the Alt-Right (something also infested with incel shit).
It's horrifying to think there's this many men walking around with these thoughts, willing to say this stuff on a first date. It's worse when you know these were just the guys who exposed themselves. There's a bunch of men's groups who thinkremoved should be legal, enjoy watching snuff content of real women getting murdered, and that the age of consent is a decade too high.
These groups aren't even hard to find. Just a few minutes on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, or r*ddit will have them in your algorithm soon after you click an Andrew Tate or Jordan Peterson video.
But really, the odds of finding the guy who sent you death threats years ago on a dating app, both of them swiping each other, going on two dates (during one of which he causes a public scene), and he's got a sympathetic backstory that nevertheless can't wrest him from MAGAdom? Very Stephen Glass coded
I'm actually inclined to believe it because from what relatives of qanon people say, they actually do tend to talk like stereotypical npcs loredumping
I don't believe her about the 11 iced coffees, that's so much fucking caffeine
I'd rather stab out my eyes with a fork before dating a conservative man 🤢🤢🤢🤢
hey now don't be selfish, conservative men have perfectly good eyes for fork stabbing
No, no, it's ok if you're doing it for an article.
why in the name of christ would you do such a thing
🥰
I’m not sure you’re getting a representative sample of conservative American men if your dating pool is limited to NYC.
they're all the same though, they all consume the same slop and love it
🥰