A lot of westerners take middle east's casual racism, sexism and homophobia as a sign of Israel's progressiveness, when in reality the zionist entity is a competitive player, putting gay people in prison is a rookie move when you can black mail them into doing terrorism and being informants [insert clever way to include how female IOF soldiers that are available for marriage are presented during birth right tour].

Glad Hulk Hogan dead but annoyed with all the white people on saying "I don't agree with his views but you're a piece of shit for celebrating his death" dear lord the amount of giving a shit about him is astounding. Like you're clearly defending him if you keep asking for us to respect him after he died for his family like nah no dice.

I fucking hate, hate, hate, hate landlords.

That's all.

I hate how living in the “ghetto” is both something people will discriminate against while also wanting to act like they grew up in it. What sparked this thought was hearing two pasty foreign teens say, “why you lowkey ate with that?” I remember when talking like that would make whites think you were mentally deficient and now they do it all the time while acting like they grew up in the projects even though most of them live in the nicest suburbs.

just when i thought i'd seen everything, i see this tweet. how do you americans all feel about this.

Trying to decipher how much of my personality is appeasement mannerism come about from being big and brown and folx idk sometimes I feel bad for experiencing emotions that could be seen as threatening and it's just exhausting. Definitely feels like I'm playing a stereotype for acceptance and a pessimistic part of me tells myself people just keep me around to feel better about themselves.

I hate the white cracker treat brain. "I come here to escape real-world problems." Motherfucker, if you can turn that part of your brain off, it's not really a problem for you, is it?

I do not get the privilege of telling the cops "Yeah I don't feel like doing a racist ableism right now. Can we reschedule this for Thursday?" with them responding all "Okay that works for us, too! We'll be back to do our racial profiling then! Please meet us again right here."

If I can't rely on the people in this space to not whine about how something happening is affecting their ability to consoom without thinking about the thing, it means I have to keep my guard up. You get to zone out, while I have to go through the effort of watching what I say in case some fuckwad thinks it'd be funny to send false reports to ICE/the FBI/local police/Social Security Admin/the IRS as the least harmful scenario that could play out.

a person with white guilt will never reach the level of a self hating poc/third worlder, not even comparable.

why do so many people get away with being so vocally "pro-Palestinian" and "anti-genocide" but you work at IBM/Microsoft/PwC/insert other company that directly contributes to the genocide ??? how are you so SHAMELESS?

To the Americans here, if you're given a choice of immigrating to another country, anywhere you desire, and never coming back, would you take it? I was wondering why everyone around me kept reassuring me that things will get better after a few years, but then I realized they were either whites, church-goers, or 🍊 supporters.

The manager for the job referral finally got back to me and wants to schedule an interview!

there needs to be an option to filter out american opinions from the internet. i need to get behind that great wall.

Seeing white Americans hating HOA is nice but attributing it to sexism (Karens) instead of their own racist ass practices does make me angry ngl. Not gonna defend either but gonna enjoy watching them fight

::: spoiler rant about non-vegan bullshit in medicine I fucking hate how medications are not vegan. Basically, every single medication is tested on animals, and a lot of them contained animal-derived ingredients. I'm going to see if I can get some sort of animal-free version of my meds, but I probably can't sweat it too much if I can't. I'm also getting my HRT and antidepressants covered by a trans charity who works with a local pharmacy of mine, so I really don't financially have access to external sources that might have a solution for this. Ugh. :::

I'm getting back on the plant based wagon after falling off for a long while. Feels really great. It's been a work in progress for a while, but most of my meals are starting to be plant based and it makes me happy 😊

I'm stressed about mass deportation, but still doing my best to get out there and resist ICE despite being part of their target demographic. I figure being out in front is safer since I can at least partially set the terms of engagement. I really don't want to be blindsided, I've already accepted that bad shit will happen. I just don't want it to be a surprised when it finally does.

This is gonna be a weird thing to say, but I can't trust most feminists to be "misandrists" or "man haters" responsibly.

To clarify what I mean by this: Obviously, I, of all people, get saying things like "I hate men," "I hate white people," and/or "I hate straight people" out of seeking catharsis about the grievances you have with people in privileged positions acting like shit. I'm basically the leader when it comes to complaints about cracKKKers

However, my issue is that, like I said, I can't trust mainstream feminists to do this responsibly. What I mean by that is that I can't expect them to do in a way where they're actually making a systemic critique rather than just leaning into some extremely individualistic framing of the matter that inevitably pans out as essentialist bullshit that endangers trans people and POC.

For this reason, I get skeptical a lot when I see "man-hating" content online—not because I disagree with the message itself, but because of the way this message has been exploited. I don't expect your average person who yaps on social media (or IRL for that matter) to actually be revolutionary and educated about oppression from a systemic perspective.

YT people especially libs being obtuse on that Sydney Sweeney jeans "genes" ad at a time white folks openly making white only towns, funding a genocide or two, banning black history books, putting latino migrants in concentration camps with gestapo, doing remix of the Madagascar plan.. "Oh all of this shit poc in your country go through is imagined is just in your head nothing wr..

::: spoiler discussions of anti-semitism/islamophobia
I hate how this is a touchy subject even 2 years into a genocide, but in the lightest example, how many Torah books were burnt during these last few years in protest of Israel? How many caricatures of Moses bombing children? I've seen even so called leftists defend actions like this when it was done against the Quran and Mohammed every time Islam was on the news. Hundreds of kids in Gaza got burnt in this holocaust and how many pages of the Torah were burnt. Conflating Israel with Judaism and the spread of anti-semitism in the Palestinian circles... yet no one picked up a book and lit it up.

Now a clarification, there is anti-semitism committed against Jews, they are called slurs, synagogues are sprayed and attacked by Nazis who I don't think even know Israel exists or is committing crimes right now... Or maybe they do, I'm not talking with Nazis to know that. :::

The multi ethnic group of children(non-white) were playing around the parking lot. As I walked by one of the Asian kids said "I got you N****" to his soccer partner, I'm assuming one of the Black kids. They were all elementary aged, when I got inside I couldn't help but bust out laughing because it was the same growing up. The kid will probably grow up and understand the weight of the word, or say he never said it, or keep using it with his Black friends. Who knows, but funny it's still the same.

had a really sad dream where i remembered the last time someone told me i was important to them and that was more than 6 years ago :\ heavy heart. and even that ended up being untrue

there's no way life is supposed to be like this; why is everyone seemingly okay with surface level connections and not questioning anything about the way we live and treat each other

I've consumed so many beans this week and I'm already soaking more for tomorrow. 20 bucks for a large bag it just makes sense to base my diet around this I get some veggies on the side but other wise it bean town babee

sometimes it's hard for me to empathize with people that have "lost" something like loved ones or a proper home or career, because I never had any of those things to begin with, my whole life has felt transitory, temporary, disposable, and unbelonged. it feels wrong and toxic a lot of the time for me to feel that way, and i would never go around throwing it in peoples face who are dealing with loss, but that's just what i struggle with internally. i just find myself daydreaming about what it would be like to even have something to miss.

::: spoiler CW// talk of SA Every time I see a topic of SA under colonialism I notice Europeans/colonizers don't even do apologism, they twist it into "in their cultures they isolate and shame the victims this is so sad"
Second CW actual awful shit in reddit comments post and story example: top comment here :::

Interview went well... the two people who interviewed me are Black. That's good. A lot of Black people work there actually. It's a hospital job, so of course, positions there are very much in demand. Apparently, I get an answer in about a week. They seem to value my referral's words quite well, too. I'm still applying for other jobs in the mean time. Though I do think my chances are greatly increased because of networking, I still got doubts!

In the Nuremberg trials Nazis blamed deaths in death camps on pre existing conditions rather than conditions in the camp. Now westerners doing it again using nazi barbies like Ingram. Honestly these people disgust me on a deep level. With climate refugees mark my words the strategy will be the same

I always feel bad watching my wife interact with foreigners who can’t conceive the thought that there are people of East Asian descent living in Guatemala.

“How can you be Latina when you’re Asian?”

“But you have an Asian last name! You can’t be Hispanic!”

The idea that “Latino=mestizo” is an obnoxious one and leads to dumbass questions like that.

there are so so many stupid people who think they know so much

Getting the urge to watch dbz again in the latino dub prob my favorite version. Just was thinking that the series is more than just people firing energy beams at each other.

::: spoiler I wrote this frustrated update in my most recent mutual aid post Okay, I'm really fucking tired of this shit. Remember this? Despite another lengthy absence, he still lives here. What the fuck? I don't even understand. It's been over 80 days, and I just happen to see him today. I was going to go on a walk, but I felt too emotionally shattered to even do that. Honestly, I'm just going to stick to how I've been going about things since before he went on this absence. I'm not going to use the kitchen barring the microwave and maybe the toaster and air fryer. This job is a monumental moment because the fact that I have networking on my side makes me tons more confident I'll get it, but not only that, landing some stable work will finally be my ticket to getting the fuck out of here, and that cannot be more valuable. I will make that of the utmost financial priority once I start working. When I get into this position (I hope it's not too bold for me to say "when" instead of "if"), I also intend to open myself up to finding a partner and eventually getting stuff to record my album, but good God, I'm pissed right now, so I'm reposting this to make sure I'm definitively covered for transportation. When I do see him, I'm taking a whole gray rock approach and not acknowledging his existence in any way. Thankfully, it's gotten pretty natural for me. :::

Despite this, I still just thugged it out and went on the walk anyway, and it was nice. I'm not gonna let him get to me. Really, it seems like a burnt toast theory moment because now I feel even more inclined to do stellar on this job interview, which I was already feeling pretty confident about. I'm about to go 1000% in! As soon as I get this job, I'm workin' and stackin', and I'll try to find somewhere else. There are some specifically BIPOC and queer-friendly spaces maybe. I'll reach out to queer comrades where I live and see if they know a place.

Been hanging out with my mom these days and it's been a real chill time. Cooking mostly as she helps me perfect my tortilla making skills, protip is when mixing the wet stuff into the dry only add a bit at a time take out what you mixed add more wet mix that take it out and so on. Once you got it down you mix it up. Doing it like this prevents overmixing though as with family recipes I'm really hard pressed to give any actually measurements of anything other than the flour we use.

Back at it at the plasma donations, was hoping after my training things would be different with job and shit things aren't dire yet but still waiting on to see if my truck is gonna be alright and if the warranty is gonna cover the repair or not. Been applying to HVAC places where I can but no real call backs or anything yet, feeling down but not out yet at least hoping for some good news today truckwise

You think there was some dumb German dude back then who didn't know about politics or cared about Hitler but just liked grilling brats and drinking hefs with the boys?

Just kinda gave myself a laugh imagining some dark comedy about that.

Gonna touch grass while it's sunny today...

Told this woman I have a crush on her, and she said, "I appreciate it, but sorry, I'm straight."

I still continue to be baffled by how feminine people perceive me to be. That's all I can say about that.

Had a weird dream that I was a circus freak and my main gimmick was getting shot and it only hurting like hell instead of killing me. I'm very much aware of how historically circuses displayed marginalized people to white audiences and if I did deeper of the perception of pain white people assign to poc. I do be wondering how much I dissociate the pain I feel because of this reason vs say toxic masculinity. It's probably a mix of both either way I want both of these cops in my head dead so I can feel what I feel in peace. I know I'm never gonna be free of suffering but I don't wanna have to gaslit myself that it's not so bad

bean sammies

I just finished composing the last instrumental I need to compose for the album. I'll mix and share it later.

I calculated the length, and this album will be around 48 minutes long.

I have to write some lyrics and vocal arrangements now. I decided to save that for last.

I'm excited to have finally completed the instrumentals, though!

Here it goes!

I kinda was a bit rushy with mixing the outro, but overall, I'm satisfied with how I made it sound.

This track is supposed to be a brief instrumental "palette cleanser" that takes on a jazzy feel in a sea of metal tracks.

It's titled "Role Reversal," and the premise is that it consists of bass doing "guitar-like" things and guitars doing "bass-like" things.

All low-end "basslines" you hear are actually an 8-string clean guitar tone. The first solo section from 00:13 to 1:19 is a bass solo.

The second solo section starting at 1:20 is guitar, yes, but the chill ambience in the background is bass and the bassline is still the 8 -string guitar.

The bass and one of the guitars are harmonizing during the outro (2:14), and the other guitar is playing a slap bassline underneath.

Edit: Updated the mix slightly

Through a text, I called my landlord out on this bullshit and emphasized that she has no legal evidence to charge me for this. I'm not expecting her to push back because I believe that me having willingness to refute this shit just immediately foils her plan because her ability to go through with this manipulation is contingent on me being totally compliant. I'm not—hell no! I also know that her assumptions are rooted in anti-Blackness and her not expecting a Black person to have awareness of their own damn rights.

Wtf was up with the recent post that was removed? Someone equating Judaism and Zionism

Been happy for my old training mates finding work but I'm feeling stuck right now, still waiting on news for my truck and if the warranty is gonna cover the transmission or not. I can't really commit to anything until I know I got reliable transportation and all the real jobs are 3 or 4 towns away from me. There is something that I might be down for, my old place of work is looking for someone with a particular set of skills. Seems to be data entry and while I don't know much of that I could probably fake enough and look stuff online for it.

Used last of my plasma monies for gas, still no update on what's gonna happen on my mom's truck. Gonna go for another donation tomorrow, just need to make sure to bring more water with me. Damn plasma place's water fountain has been down for a month it seems, like you're draining us dry already at least have the decency to make sure there's water around. I will say being stuck so many time with that big ass needle has very much gotten me over any fear of sharp objects now or blood

Been thinking of a fanfic I wanted to do for RWBY for the longest time, I like the show with a big asterisk it's racial issues are complete garbage to the point I dropped it for a while when it was coming out. I like the setting, some of the characters, the action but I kept hoping it get better. I stopped watching in volume 7 and mostly been consuming fanworks since then. I do enjoy some of them very much and I found one that at least handles race stuff better but I rather try making something instead of just consuming. I've been told I got some decent writing skills so I think I'll get back into writing something.

Something I forgot about is that I'm also arranging a (dj0nt) cover of "Easy Lover" by Philip Bailey/Phil Collins for the album. That'll be easy though since the song is already written. I just need to construct it my own way

Trying to explain shit about the first world to someone from here :broken_heart: it's like when you mention something bad they expect to say but and explain how we're doing it much worse or how it's actually okay there, like one time I was explaining to someone stuff about Nazi Germany and they were saying "but we're worse" after every few sentences.

Finished Easy Lover rearranged in my djenty style... I was thinking to possibly grab the isolated studio vocal track and slapping that over this. Maybe, but here's the instrumental.

It's been a goofy ass week and I'm glad it's over