hi, does anyone wanna make the mega in the upcoming weeks? if so, reply to this post and i'll add you to the list!

the list as it stands:

Disaster_of_Passion (7/7 - 7/13)
sodium_nitride (7/14 - 7/20)
peanutbuttercupola* (7/21 - 7/27)
BountifulEggnog* (7/28 - 8/3)    
oscardejarjayes* (8/4 - 8/10)
Seryph (8/11 - 8/17)
Shaleesh (8/18 - 8/24)
GayTuckerCarlson* (8/25 - 8/31)
Eco* (9/1 - 9/7)
nemmybun (9/8 - 9/14)

​ * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters

Shout-out to the people who encouraged me when I posted in the trans megathread when my egg was cracking like 7-8 months ago. 6 months on hrt now and Im so much happier :D

I went on a date with a reaaaaalllyyyy cute guy last night. We talked for like 3 hours and he kissed me goodbye. So forearms were like double the size of mine I was in a puddle at the end, this is my first time that I’ve had a guy make me feel this way and I’m like what the hell, how have I missed this my whole life 😭

I feel like I’ve always been attracted to men in kinda a different way, like they were my friend and we were the same, while women were like this other species, but i really like it flipped around lol. 😝

Henlo mega thread. I am nonbinary

Hey loves 💜

I wanted to give a little update, we made it through the hospital thanks to you all, but now my sisters and I are really struggling to find a safe place to stay. Right now we’re stuck somewhere temporary that’s not safe at all, and it’s scary not knowing what could happen next.

UNHCR told us to stay in Juba while they keep working on resettlement, but there’s no safe place here, and we can’t go back to Gorom camp because the host community doesn’t want us anymore. We’re trying to raise around $700–850 so we can get a small apartment for the four of us, with money for transport, rent, bedding, food, and the meds my sisters still need.

We’ve only raised $66 so far, so we still have a long way to go. If you can help us by donating, sharing, or even giving advice on safe places, it would mean everything to us right now. My mutual aid link is in my profile. Thank you so much for being here for us. Love you all so much. 💙🙏🏿

dogs are aware of how cursed the fourth of july is as a holiday

Current mood

air travel is tyranny

hambpturger

Down with summer!

down with cis

Got a few web friends to use my real pronouns and my new name. It just makes me feel euphoric, but somehow still feels wrong. Maybe some internalized transphobia or just the disphoria (probably because I haven't started any part of the transition yet). But I'm happy anyways for getting some validation.

Gender is fake but also im a woman but also im not a woman i just do woman but also theres no such thing as woman but also but also but also

up with trans

I've never seen cacti sprouts before. They're so cute!

Coworker gave me a hair tie and another put my hair up for me

Low key have shed a few tears about it... just really nice of them to help me and feels kind of like something women would usually do for other women. Not out to them or anything but still you know.. needed something nice to happen to me today too.

::: spoiler transphobia Imagine deadnaming someone in your birthday message to her

I wish I could thanos snap these people into a pocket dimension so I don't have do deal with them. Fucking hell

Up with trans. Down with cis :::

In other news I got invited to a thing on Friday that I'm suuuuuper excited about. I'm going to get to flex my gay muscles

about to eat some really spicy noodles, if I never post again yall know what happened 😔

Is it possible to do HRT badly enough that it permanently messes up your transition or is it a kind of thing where it would just mean it takes more time?

Coffee coffee

Black coffee, Brown coffee

Make rumbly in my tummy

Make my head feel funny

Coffee coffee

A cup of no good coffee

Not sweet like toffee

Not creamy Not dreamy

Coffee coffee

taken at 23*

I feel like puking

*hour of the day, 11 PM

Working with dudes in construction really just breaks whatever crushes I have on them, I said it before but guys getting angry and shouty when the heat gets turned up is ugh. I get being frustrated but like chill or at minimum don't lash out, hoping this puts a stop to my gay dreams towards them I really don't wanna be a therapist or something.

We had two guys from warring gangs sat next to each other lol, I had to convince them the hospital is a truce zone and to leave the fights and taunts for when theyre patched up

🆘 Trans Sisters Attacked – Need Urgent Help

Hey friends 💜 We were attacked in our camp just for being trans. Our shelters burned, and some of my sisters were hurt. We covered hospital bills, but now we really need help finding a safe place to stay in Juba.

We’ve raised $102 so far, but still need about $700. Any share or donation means the world to us. Thank you for being here. The mutual aid Link is in my profile.thank you for taking time to read this 💙🙏🏿....

::: spoiler CW for Government Transphbia Apparently the state department is intentionally defying the court order to let trans people have correct gender markers. Past few weeks have been pretty tough and I keep catching L's. I can't wait until I get that shit in the mail and have yet another emotional episode about it. Im mostly angry at myself because none of the bad stuff would be happening if I just stopped fucking up all the time. :::

The new blue sugar free monster tastes fucking amazing and I can't get enough of it.

TONY STARK was able to build his gender in a cave! With a BOX OF SCRAPS

Pro tip if your car ever starts smoking do your best to not let it, it's a bad habit to start and even harder to quit.

wtf... someone keeps peeing in my bed while i'm sleeping. what the fuck

I would love to limit my dating pool to only trans people at this point, but there's just not many enough around for that to feel like a viable strategy

Is Better Call Saul and Breaking Bad trans culture?

check out my baby cacti

Learning all the counties of England

Male tomboy with a little bit of E busts it down agender style, are they goated with the sauce?

I had to find a new roommate this spring because my old one moved in with his gf. I thought it would be cool to live with another trans women. It was going to be a good friend, but then she backed out last minute and I went with a stranger. It went well for a while tho, we were friends and would do stuff together, and she was clean and stuff.

But recently, she began trying to touch me. Like sayiyshe was anxious and wanted a hug, leaving me no space when we were on the couch, weirdly putting her head on me. Then she straight up asked me out on a date.

Now besides the obvious issues with dating a roommate, I am not even slightly attracted to her. I don't think we have that sort of connection at all, whatsoever. I guess normally that would be fine, like if someone asks me out but im not interested, I just politely decline. But for some reason, this whole thing has really bothered me.

Part of it is because she's my roommate, so it's awkward. But idk I've also spent a bunch of time helping her with stuff, like getting her on a better HRT regimen, or recommending a place to get her hair cut, or shopping together. I felt happy to do those things because I love helping out other trans women. But idk, now I just feel used I guess. I find myself feeling really annoyed when I see her, and I barely want to talk. I have no idea how to make things right, cause the last four days it has been very awkward.

I wish it was easier to make trans friends in general without there having to be gay drama involved. A good platonic friend seems to me to be worth so much more than another confusing situationship. It's often so hypersexual when I meet other trans girls. Like I wanna hang out and do normal woman stuff, and instead I get invited to the Discord with the NSFW channel, and I'm forced to learn everyone's kinks, and if they hang out it's to try and get in my pants.

It makes me want to only befriend straight girls, but the worst part is that im not even straight. Maybe I just hate myself? Idk I would still never ask out my roommate.

fireworks are the worst

You get a discord notification ping, it's a message from your friend EstraDoll at 2:38 A.M. He types it out frantically in a cold sweat. It's far too coherent for her to be drunk at this hour, plus you know she quit drinking a while back and is unlikely to relapse

"hey i need you to be 100% real and brutally honest with me, does this outfit make me look clocky?"

sent with a spoilered selfie. you brace yourself and hesitate even hitting the "show" button as you're slightly worried that he's sending you nudes at 3 in the fucking morning (again). against your better judgement, you unblur the photo and see him showing off her new """outfit""" standing in her filthy bedroom. clothes litter every corner of the floor as per usual but you notice her eye catching """""outfit""""", which is just a big sandwich board that says "I AM TRANSGENDER" in 500 point font. you reread the attached message. you've known him long enough to know that tone is 100% sincere from her. from this angle, you can't even tell if she's wearing anything underneath

friday? rice? friday. rice.

One of my nipples grew bigger than the other since starting MTF HRT half a year ago. How long until they become the same size again? The areolas are the same size.

I used extra chili sauce in today’s Friday Rice

Catastrophic news. The Mao Mao cosplay I ordered only came with the wig. I checked the order I made. I accidentally selected the wig only option (actually, that was the default option for some reason). Now I'll have to wait till the end of summer till I can dress like Mao Mao (the shipping won't come before I'm off to my parents).

Unless ... I order the Mao Mao cosplay at my parents house, then cosplay in secret?! I make a secret identity?! Fight crime diseases?!

Scrutinizing this pic my sister sent of me as a very young kid to see what kind of doll I was playing with

It looks like a girls doll! This is very important for my gender narrative!

everything sucks and we are tired

that is all

Been spending most our lives
Living in a gooner paradise
Been stroked now once or twice
Living in a gooner paradise

::: spoiler dysphoria My dysphoria is so bad. It might be the worst dysphoria I've ever had. I want FFS so bad. Maybe I should do FFS first instead of an orchiectomy. But the waiting lists are so long and I'm not hopeful it will happen soon. :::

I've been passing at work and wirh all my patients, weird feeling. Besides a little voice work all I did was move to a city.

::: spoiler Yesterday Yesterday was upsetting. I'm done spending 2+ hours typing comments. It's literally not good for my psyche to spend this much time focusing on this site, this problem. It's amounting to its own internal issue for me.

Right now this site is acting like a Demon Pit for my Gender Thoughts that spits them back out as terrible monsters meant to horrify me.

I thought talking would make it better. It has not. I thought I could make friends by being genuine. I have not. I'm surprised that you all are so comfortable with someone getting worked up this often, if I'm being honest.

There's probably some other thread where you all exchange Cool Trans Secrets anyway. It is what it is. I'm not worthy.

As someone early in their transition, I am filled to the brim with questions and concerns and thoughts about gender and sexuality. I don't know if this is normal. I've been single for years, no sex life to speak of. I'm a blank slate, I am so eager to learn.

But you all make me feel like I should keep these things to myself. There's no discussion to be had, I guess. I should just read old Reddit threads where someone else describes what I'm talking about.

I'm putting a few ventilations in one comment. I literally have to limit my screen time or else I'll post all day until I get a response. This isn't how I wanted to be. People can stop this by helping. :::

::: spoiler gender envy It's frustrating dealing with gender envy with one of my friends' girlfriend. Her fashion, the stuff she posts is very much my vibe.

So it's weird because she graduated, I don't see her anymore, but the connections are mutual enough that I'm just aware of this person and have no idea how to have friendship, or even a conversation with her.

I think I'd faint if she talked to me. I know that's pathetic. I feel this way about a percentage of the women I go to school with. It's envy, attraction, then shame, then I am invisible. Like a woman would laugh me out of the room for thinking I could ever look like her, be like her.

It's hard. I shut down because I'm like, "well she sees me as a guy, and she has a boyfriend, so she probably isn't going to want to talk to me because she sees me as a guy so she assumes I'm a horndog because straight men only reallybefriend women for sex and I'm not a man so I don't know how to befriend women"

I think we could've been friends. Unless she's still in town it's probably too late. :::

::: spoiler couples I just want for a woman or someone to teach me how to be more feminine. I'd be so willing to learn. I'm like a blank slate. I can barely function as a guy. I don't know if anyone has ever been as ready as I am.

I'm also jealous of literally every couple I see. Any time I see two women especially I'm like "WHAT DO THEY KNOW THAT I DO NOT" and I think this comes from the fact that I think people who are able to have friends and keep people around do know something that I don't.

Like you, reading this, if you have someone you just casually text and don't ever really wonder about the consistency of the back and forth, congrats, I'm jealous of your ability to keep people around. You are a social Adonis as far as I'm concerned.

If I'm out and I see two people, my mind is immediatelywondering how they know each other, how long they've been together, how much fun it must be to be together. :::

boyshorts r great.... how come i never heard about how great boyshorts r before....

::: spoiler dysphoria/euphoria posting?

really dysphoric about my tits, feel like they're still tiny compared to cis girl tits

all the other trans girlies in the discord are swapping tit pics

figure i might as well throw mine into the pile

they look bigger in the pics than i'd thought they'd look

one of them straight up says they thought I had a BA already (14 months HRT, + 8 months prog, zero surgeries)

actually measure them

C cups

okay holy shit never mind uh... i guess i got some real fuckin boobs now, don't i? :::

Is there a way to buy estrogen online (in the US) that doesn't involve having to use crypto?

I hope I'm doing this right, sorry if I'm not

::: spoiler spoiler So my egg cracked about a week ago, my partner has been really supportive and I am so much more emotionally available, which is obviously great. Though 20 years of pent-up stuff has me crying every time I think of how greatful I am. I'm posting because I want to get used to talking about being trans since I definitely have a bunch of internalised transphobia (yay...) and I think talking about it will help normalize it for me.

I do have a few supportive friends that I want to tell, but it still feels kind of cringe..... So if anyone could, I would be so happy to have someone ask a few questions. :::

I had two drinks over the course of several hours, how am i somehow drunkish? Like, im not drunk drunk, but im more than tipsy??? Granted, i havent had alcohol in weeks, but still two drinks (not even super heavy pours either, like an extra 20% cause the bartender likes meeee) shouldnt hit me like this???? New calibration point for alcohol ig?

The other day had my hard hat on, my safety glasses kinda low, hair little messed up and the top buttons of my shirt were undone because of heat. Went to the bathroom to wash my hands then pee and wash hands again and I looked real damn slutty in that look I don't understand it but it's fine maybe it was the ppe

ChatGPT, give me a girl name!

When the gay hits

::: spoiler CW: cigs Shout-out Doctor Girlfriend for making me comfortable with having a pack a day smoking voice

Also talking to this goth girl right now that thinks it's super hot that I smoke and requests videos of me smoking all day. God bless goth girls :::

I definitely been feeling it's like my brain has the friends and potential love interest in a circle and while I do think it's fun the amount of times it's picks people incompatible is annoying. I think my main course now is to digest the feelings and work through them as I dive into my new special interest HVAC

Just get over your rejection sensitivity you dumb stupid bitch

Edit: Just.. press! the happy override button that all humans have! Get the fuck over it!

Edit 2: Why you having problems tho? Don't tell us! Don't worry, just calm down, right?

Edit 3: undeleted for full transparency to those concerned.

I read a book written by a yogi, he said you should fill your space with flowers & look upon them.

::: spoiler stuff that might trigger dysphoria for trans women is it fucked up that I like looking like a guy with long hair and tiny boobs

like I don't pass as a woman at all but I look like a guy who's far from masculine, and I'm okay with it, not just in a coping way. my face is still rough and exposes facial hair shadow. my shoulders are wider than most women my size

I wish I had less fat around my midsection but aside from that I like myself

^boobs^

:::

Deepseek, tell me I'm pretty.

again

again

again

again

Memory is so shit lately, can barely remember what I actually did or what's happened. Lost my headphones. Literally no clue where they could be or when I even lost them.

Also a ton of negativity bubbling

Ireland might be immune to climate change because we still get shitty overcast days every fucking day all June. I think I managed to get to the beach once this month. Praying for sunnier days in july

My elderly aunt reached out to me out of the blue and offered to pay for my srs if I want it but can't afford.

Like I hadn't even been thinking about it, partially cause it's scary but mostly cause I just assumed I would never be able to.

But now that it's a possibility, I guess I should do some research. Not much has changed in the last 20 years right?

I tried the new blue monster after reading @Shaleesh@hexbear.net's comment and it is really good. Adding that to my rotation haha

+1 on that rec

::: spoiler Spoiler Finally looking at the local queer events and I once again have a bunch of conflicts

I once again ask, how the fuck and when the fuck am I supposed to be making friends

I really need there to be explicit "well, I guess that makes us friends" kinds of moments or, I shit you not, I will not make any inferences from the interaction. I'll assume you meant well but would ultimately rather never see me again.

If you indicate that you will see me around, or express interest in future plans, that's pretty clear too, although if we don't set it up then, I don't really know if you meant it. I myself don't feel this agency in most situations, because I assume that the other person is more in the position to say "I like this person, the interaction shall continue". Like I have less of an opinion, somehow, or less of a say?

I can't do the lonely thing my whole life like some people can. This is gonna whittle me down. :::

My trans friend is making awesome progress! I helped her get a GP appointment (intake forms were tricky and I recommended the local Very Woke clinic) so that she can get a proper referral to gender affirming care (she has that appointment already, but I want to make sure her insurance covers it). And her boss is being incredibly chill about her coming out. He is gay so he knows what kind of support she needs. Plus, she came out to other people before him just to make sure she would have support.

Before this, I was the only person in her life using her proper pronouns and name. But she is realizing how little most people think about or care if someone is trans in our city. It seems that her parents will not take her transition seriously until she starts to look different. They misgender her all the time.

Despite my personal problems with my parents, I am grateful that they are very pro LGBT libs and are using her pronouns when she comes over.

OMG you're so hot. I love it when you are that confidant, I love the way you love yourself, I love how optimistic you are even when things seem bleak

Today I gave the birds some fresh corn. The pigeons were skeptical and afraid. The sparrows loved the corn, taking single kernels and flying off with them.

::: spoiler misgendering Getting misgendered by my friends every time we hang out hurts every time but I don't wnat to ask them to change, I know it'll be super awkward and I don't want to push them away. ::: spoiler negativity This whole thing sucks and I hate it but I'm trying not to make another I hate being trans post. Its a constant source of pain and alienation and I don't really have hope that will change.

I think about how happy so many people were as I was figuring myself out, this must be such a disappointment. :::

learned something new today

Decided to draw Kris Deltarune instead of doomscrolling tonight. I do not really understand shading still

trying to come up with funnier ways to describe my own gender, and i think the best I've managed thus far is:

Bigender, but I'm only male ironically

damn, maybe my complexion is more summer than autumnal. I'm rocking these warm, bright colors today

butching the fuck out tn. my solovair leather boots arrived, drank some beers and put together an ikea shelving unit for my gfs with my drill. affirming as shit

is a vial still safe to use if it has a noticeably big hole like this

I saw I Saw The TV Glow Sunday finally.

::: spoiler Tap for spoiler Didn't expect the movie to be so targeted. Can't imagine many cis people particularly liking it. Although not being spoiled that it's a trans movie would probably make the plot twist better. Imo, knowing it's a movie aimed at trans people alone is too much of a spoiler. Wasn't really my cup of tea. Being live-action is pretty much enough reason for me to feel that way though.

After we finished it, we turned on one of the songs that was in the movie (psychic wound by King Woman) and weirdly it seemed a lot different from what we remembered it sounding like it in the movie. Not sure if it was actually different or not. But weirdly reminded me of that part where main character is streaming the Pink Opaque and it is very different from the version that originally played. :::

I'm going to try to touch grass, exercise and read some books.

I had influenza b for two weeks and got so sick. All I did was lurk the internet and it's been really bad for mental health.

You can play secret rings and black knight on dolphin with a controller and while I have beaten both with my wii mote before the controller method is good too. Secret rings is the one recommended most for this method, black knight is alright and if anything I prefer it that way since swinging the wii mote like a sword will always be sick.

Part of me really wants to enjoy black knight more but with it being the end of the series I just keep putting off the 100% of it more and more since I don't wanna be done with it

Can one be too skinny for injections?

::: spoiler end of June thoughts Somehow I'm never in town for the queer meetups. If I didn't know any better I'd assume they're scheduling things when I can't go, but it's just a really annoying coincidence every time.

Gonna try again to find an in-person therapist. One place just has an intake form on their website, and it feels sketchy to fill it out and input all my info without like, talking to someone I guess?

I can also go through my university I'm pretty sure. It's annoying because obviously there are resources, but they're just elusive somehow? And there are queer people around but like, I just don't see all that many events that appeal to me?

Other people appear to be meet up with people they already know. I don't know a single other queer person on campus. I don't see an obvious opportunity to meet people.

I also know that I'm fucking weird in that I'd be way more likely to go to more things if I had one person. I need to be made to socialize, frankly.

I'm using Tinder again because I don't know where or how people meet around here. I want a relationship, but I also have zero friends, and I don't know what I want or who I want to be when I'm in a relationship.

You'd think the more you post the more others would engage, but there's probably something there that I'm missing too. :::

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! That is all.

Addendum:

Ever since I started my training been noticing hvac things more often, playing yakuza and I see a mini split unit in the Earth Angel bar the air handler does look to be higher than 8 feet up but still pretty cool.

hot? yeah i guess it was a little toasty overnight now i've had to crack out my second blanket, its the middle of winter! This is southern hemisphere erasure!

im doing okay, someone in the vague 'activist scene' in my city is kinda making my life hell atm, theyre not well, but neither am i. So i'm fading out of existence. For how much people all talk about 'community', i'm yet to have many people check in with me.

Theyre going to be living in a worldwithoutlawyers.jpg now i'm gone. no one else is going to tell them to reexamine their preconceptions, theres going to be unexamined racist shit going down, i tell you what.

i kept being told 'well remember what you were like when you were young!', and i kept thinking, yeah damn, they should all be doing drugs instead of crowing themselves godking of the 'movement'.

this has all really destroyed my confidence i'm actually too anxious to even check replies here atm, for a while i couldnt even comment because i felt like everyone was so mad at me lol.

The 'scene' is good for them, but has been a disaster for my mental health. so i'm dropping everything so i can rekindle my energy and re engage myself with my union organising.

i dunno this feels like too much, maybe im too much. I'm getting echoes of an ex telling me 'i'm not availible to do emotional labour for you'. haha hehe hoho yes

if people are treating you like shit, you should leave, its not easy, but its for the best

How do I motivate myself to start cardio so I can loose weight?

Does my brain have a switch that i need to press?

ride or die? guess I'll die then 🤷‍♀️

did you ever paint your nails? i like painted nails but I'm also extremely lazy and low rizz so am low key vicariousin thru ya

@mendiCAN@hexbear.net I've negative rizz but also yes I did @bolshevikLovelace@hexbear.net also forgot to show off last week was busy with my epa thing (got my universal). I originally picked this because it said gel like shine and it was black with sparkles but the sparkle ain't there it's just black which looks cool but I was promised sparkles

Warm weather is best weather and makes it easy to wear cute clothes Freezing is the worst

Didn't feel like washing my hair today so just spent idk how long brushing it, it poofs up real bad and comes out like a lion's mane. It is significantly long but normally when it curls it seems way shorter, if I were to iron it it looked gorgeous I bet but don't wanna damage it

Dreamt I was watching the new donkey kong movie, it was so I watched it twice. After that some beautiful woman wanted to sleep with me but I told her to kick rocks because my bed was for me and my plushies

Back to dreaming of going fast and listening to specifically secret rings ost. That game has so many artists like it's nothing new but I think the popularity of 40 kind of takes away from all the artists who've done sonic songs if I'm being real.

I hate how horrible thinking about hrt makes me feel. I told someone I'd try to get it ordered by the end of the week, here we are. I don't know who's name I should put on it. Have more research to do. Every time I start thinking about it I start spiraling so I keep trying not to and then I obviously never actually get it done. Fml.

Started watching dracula and there's keanu fucking reeves in it, day ruined

Being the funny one of the group is a curse, people expect so much more out of you going forward it's like carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.

Almost 1.25 years into HRT and past my 20's and got told that I'm getting taller by my mom yesterday. TBF, I kinda suspected this would happen because I used to always slouch and now I don't nearly as much.

I had been wondering if someone I knew in middle school/high school is trans and finally found out he is from another friend when I accidentally deadnamed him and I got corrected. I might have come out to that friend after that?

I should stop coming out to people in ambiguous ways. My sister sorta complained after I had that conversation with my friend that she found out from our half-sister that I was trans even though I came out to both of them at the same time (by saying I don't run on T and nothing else) and my sister apparently just didn't realize it but my half-sister was able to figure out I was an NB and then make a joke based on that the following day. She also complained I hadn't told her my pronouns yet - we hadn't talked about me being trans even though she found out back in December.

I've used the word "catastrophic" too much these days, but like, I took my hormones to my parents, only to find out that the safe deposit I had booked cancelled on me. Now I have a ticking time bomb in my backpack.

Amazon delayed my delivered so it came after I left for my parents. By the time I will be back, the return period will have been expired.

Ali express decided to send my swimsuit to my address and not my parents. I don't have a body of water where I live :)

::: spoiler severance I still think about the Gemma reveal at the end of S1E7 of Severance and think it might very well be my favorite scene of TV of all time. Granted, I haven't watched a lot of shows, so the statement might not be as strong as if someone who watches more shows than me said it, but I'm pretty sure it's true :::

Is trans boob size accurate to genetics? Like if your relatives all have big booba do you also get big booba, like statistically?

guy who thinks juice wrld is lucky for dying right before the world went insane in 2020

(it's me)

What dating sites don't want you to know is you can just make a tulpa, ever since I meet my gf I've never been happier

Everyone knows there's sexy stereotype of ladies wearing glasses, but its definitely cross gender cause some of these dudes look fine with glasses

Big brain yakuza theory: I propose the heat mechanics in yakuza is basically what hamon is to the jojo vers. It's something fighters have access to and regular people have very little clue on but like hamon regular people do notice it so it's not exactly like stands in jojo.

hair worry ::: spoiler spoiler am worried if I finally buzz my hair , it'll show how big my forehead is. :::

::: spoiler bullshit I have to call the therapist, which means I have to sit on the phone for hours. I really don't want to. I can't sit still that long.

I have to fill out job applications, which means they can call me back at any point, which means I need to be ready to answer. Which means I can't do anything because I need to be prepared.

I hate this. My coping skills have only gotten worse. The more I think about all this stuff the more I just want to go smoke some weed and forget about it.

I keep thinking about disappearing. If just one person had stuck around when I first started talking about killing myself, then it wouldn't be like this. I could've had a friend, support, gotten my life together.

Probably just getting high today Getting high helps me feel pretty :::

Feeling kinda down ngl, always happens be hanging out with friends and then they gone and I'm here just alone. It's a feeling that passes after a bit at least the more intense part and just sticks around like a dull ache before it clears up. Loneliness sucks but like it's just the highs and lows of social interaction for me

we have no Losurdo emotes

O Jamesy let me up out of this pooh

::: spoiler dysphoria

Its been bad lately. I just want to be able to look at myself naked in the mirror and be kinda ok with myself. It feels like progress is going backwards, my body feels less feminine than a year ago, after a couple laser sessions my face somehow has more hair and i cant afford more laser (they charge a lot, i did the math and its $400-600 an hour). But specifically, my shoulders are just wrecking me right now...

How do yall deal with shoulder dysphoria? I realllly dislike my shoulders, and everything makes them look larger. For reference im 195cm and somewhat thin (my belly begs to differ tho), with somewhat wide shoulders (my armpits line up with my hips). I used to try and find things to wear that would work for my body, but i have no money and tbh i dont think this is something clothing can fix... I just want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and be ok with myself...

Was watching a yakuza iceburg vid and the topic of Kamorocho Hills came up. Guy mentioned how you can never access it in any of the games but actually you can in dead souls this is where the dead souls chads keep winning. Honestly first time I played dead souls I was kinda shocked by how big the place is like I could see the rest of the game still being yakzua 4 but the new places for it other than the sewer and the minimum tower insides you go through were cool.

::: spoiler spoiler Brain literally will not shut up and just keeps running through all the negativity, all the things I hate, how fucked I am and how much I hate being trans and all the things that come with that and its not stopping literally just hours and hours of this, its constant, what even is the end game here. Like okay I'm never going to be happy and I should kms can we please just have a moments break from that?? There's not a solution so just please stop :::

The dolls love watching Rebel Without a Cause for the third time over