Shabby Lemmy

112

1.1yr

284

GayTuckerCarlson in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

Frida Kahlo - Trans Megathread from June 23rd, 2025 to June 29th, 2025

Thank you for enjoying the Frida Kahlo mega

“I am not sick. I am broken. But I am happy to be alive as long as I can paint.”

::: spoiler Biography of Frida Kahlo

Considered one of Mexico's greatest artists, Frida Kahlo was born on July 6, 1907 in Coyocoan, Mexico City, Mexico. She grew up in the family's home where was later referred to as the Blue House or Casa Azul. Her father is a German descendant and photographer. He immigrated to Mexico where he met and married her mother Matilde. Her mother is half Amerindian and half Spanish. Frida Kahlo has two older sisters and one younger sister.

Frida Kahlo has poor health in her childhood. She contracted polio at the age of 6 and had to be bedridden for nine months. This disease caused her right leg and foot to grow much thinner than her left one. She limped after she recovered from polio. She has been wearing long skirts to cover that for the rest of her life. Her father encouraged her to do lots of sports to help her recover. She played soccer, went swimming, and even did wrestle, which is very unusual at that time for a girl. She has kept a very close relationship with her father for her whole life.

Frida Kahlo attended the renowned National Preparatory School in Mexico City in the year of 1922. There are only thirty-five female students enrolled in that school and she soon became famous for her outspokenness and bravery. At this school she first met the famous Mexican muralist Diego Rivera for the first time. Rivera at that time was working on a mural called The Creation on the school campus. Frida often watched it and she told a friend she will marry him someday.

In the same year, Kahlo joined a gang of students who shared similar political and intellectual views. She fell in love with the leader Alejandro Gomez Arias. On a September afternoon when she traveled with Gomez Arias on a bus the tragic accident happened. The bus collided with a streetcar and Frida Kahlo was seriously injured. A steel handrail impaled her through the hip. Her spine and pelvis are fractured and this accident left her in a great deal of pain, both physically and physiologically.

She was injured so badly and had to stay in the Red Cross Hospital in Mexico City for several weeks. After that, she returned home for further recovery. She had to wear full-body cast for three months. To kill the time and alleviate the pain, she started painting and finished her first self-portrait the following year. Frida Kahlo once said,

I paint myself because I am often alone and I am the subject I know best".

Her parents encouraged her to paint and made a special easel made for her so she could paint in bed. They also gave her brushes and boxes of paints.

Frida Kahlo reconnected with Rivera in 1928. She asked him to evaluate her work and he encouraged her. The two soon started the romantic relationship. Despite her mother's objection, Frida and Diego Rivera got married in the next year. During their earlier years as a married couple, Frida had to move a lot based on Diego's work. In 1930, they lived in San Francisco, California. Then they moved to New York City for Rivera's artwork show at Museum of Modern Art. They later moved to Detroit while Diego Rivera worked for Detroit Institute of Arts.

In 1932, Kahlo added more realistic and surrealistic components in her painting style. In the painting titled Henry Ford Hospital(1932), Frida Kahlo lied on a hospital bed naked and was surrounded with a few things floating around, which includes a fetus, a flower, a pelvis, a snail, all connected by veins. This painting was an expression of her feelings about her second miscarriage. It is as personal as her other self-portraits.

In 1933, Kahlo was living in New York City with her husband Diego Rivera. Rivera was commissioned by Nelson Rockefeller to create a mural named as Man at the Crossroads at Rockefeller Center. Rivera tried to include Vladimir Lenin in the painting, who is a communist leader. Rockefeller stopped his work and that part was painted over. The couple had to move back to Mexico after this incident. They returned and live in San Angel, Mexico.

Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera's marriage is not a usual one. They had been keeping separate homes and studios for all those years. Diego had so many affairs and one of that was with Kahlo's sister Cristina. Frida Kahlo was so sad and she cut off her long hair to show her desperation to the betrayal. She has longed for children but she cannot bear one due to the bus accident. She was heartbroken when she experienced a second miscarriage in 1934. Kahlo and Rivera have been separated a few times but they always went back together. In 1937 they helped Leon Trotsky and his wife Natalia. Leon Trotsky is an exiled communist and rival of Soviet leader Joseph Stalin. Kahlo and Rivera welcomed the couple together and let them stay at her Blue House. Kahlo also had a brief affair with Leon Trotsky when the couple stayed at her house.

In 1938, Frida Kahlo became a friend of André Breton, who is one of the primary figures of the Surrealism movement. Frida said she never considered herself as a Surrealist "until André Breton came to Mexico and told me I was one." She also wrote, "Really I do not know whether my paintings are surrealist or not, but I do know that they are the frankest expression of myself". "Since my subjects have always been my sensations, my states of mind and the profound reactions that life has been producing in me, I have frequently objectified all this in figures of myself, which were the most sincere and real thing that I could do in order to express what I felt inside and outside of myself."

In the same year, she had an exhibition at New York City gallery. She sold some of her paintings and got two commissions. One of that is from Clare Boothe Luce to paint her friend Dorothy Hale who committed suicide. She painted The Suicide of Dorothy Hale (1939), which tells the story of Dorothy's tragic leap. The patron Luce was horrified and almost destroyed this painting.

The next year, 1939, Kahlo was invited by André Breton and went to Paris. Her works are exhibited there and she is befriended with artists such as Marc Chagall, Piet Mondrian, and Pablo Picasso. She and Rivera got divorced that year and she painted one of her most famous paintings, The Two Fridas(1939).

But soon Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera remarried in 1940. The second marriage is about the same as the first one. They still keep separate lives and houses. Both of them had infidelities with other people during the marriage. Kahlo received a commission from the Mexican government for five portraits of important Mexican women in 1941, but she was unable to finish the project. She lost her beloved father that year and continued to suffer from chronic health problems. Despite her personal challenges, her work continued to grow in popularity and was included in numerous group shows around this time.

In the year of 1944, Frida Kahlo painted one of her most famous portraits, The Broken Column. In this painting, she depicted herself naked and split down the middle. Her spine is shattered like a column. She wears a surgical brace and there are nails all through her body, which is the indication of the consistent pain she went through. In this painting, Frida expressed her physical challenges through her art. During that time, she had a few surgeries and had to wear special corsets to protect her back spine. She seeks lots of medical treatment for her chronic pain but nothing really worked.

Her health condition has been worsening in 1950. That year she was diagnosed with gangrene in her right foot. She became bedridden for the next nine month and had to stay in hospital and had several surgeries. But with great persistence, Frida Kahlo continued to work and paint. In the year of 1953, she had a solo exhibition in Mexican. Although she had limited mobility at that time, she showed up on the exhibition's opening ceremony. She arrived by ambulance, and welcomed the attendees, celebrated the ceremony in a bed the gallery set up for her. A few months later, she had to accept another surgery. Part of her right leg got amputated.

With the poor physical condition, she is also deeply depressed. She even had an inclination for suicide. Frida Kahlo has been out and in hospital during that year. But despite her health issues, she has been active with the political movement. She showed up at the demonstration against US-backed overthrow of President Jacobo Arbenz of Guatemala on July 2. This is her last public appearance. About one week after her 47th birthday, Frida Kahlo passed away at her beloved Bule House.

https://www.fridakahlo.org/frida-kahlo-biography.jsp

:::

The Wounded Deer, 1946

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Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.

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XiaCobolt [she/her] - 1.1yr

::: spoiler Another wild dream. For context I have a viral illness and I was rigouring in the middle of the night and then woke sweating... (CW transphobia and medical trauma) I was billionaire superhero like Batman. I was explicitly a trans woman again. I lived above a dense hospital I ran as a charity, in a penthouse apartment like a Howard Hughes style recluse. On top of the hospital was also a lighthouse tower with observation deck as the hospital was perched in a bay. There was also "warehouses" on top that were my Bat-Cave that stored modified vehicles and could launch onto the covered roof of elevated highway over the water that lead to the hospital.

I was up on the roof looking at putting in a landing pad with my sibling who was my man-in-the-chair, when I had a panic attack about the heights, apparently this was part of my tragic backstory and not something that regularly happened. I slid down angle glass windows and swung off polled struts until I reached ground in a courtyard of the hospital. Once I calmed down I realized I was wearing my hero gear so ditched it and snuck into the hospital grabbing some scrub pants and a hospital gown.

I had my sibling on an ear piece guiding me and a watch that could unlock any door or lift. The hospital was really busy, I bumped into some paramedics but one recognized me and I lied that I had taken a sleeping tablet, gotten confused and wandered into the wrong lift half naked. They seemed to believe me and helped me find the first lift I needed. I needed to get through a medical library and an outreach type wing. I encountered a young woman doctor in a hijab who was kind to me as I explained I was the billionaire owner of the hospital, I'd had a panic attack and gotten lost.

I thought I convinced her and made my way to a small 1-2 person lift that would take me to my Bat-cave. But it turns out staff had used it as storage (even thought they couldn't buzz it up/down they could open it). As I was working out what to do the doctor returned with some nurses, and this physically imposing older lady nurse tried to make me come with her, it was clear she thought I was mentally ill. I explained calmly I knew what it looked like and asked her to google [MY NAME] and "billionaire" and she replied "and who would he be?". I remember the doctor looking upset by the misgendering.

I told her "do not misgender me or I'll have you fired". She tried to stick me with a syringe of sedative but I caught her hand and followed up "and your family killed" (Kind of mean but I also knew in the dream I wouldn't do follow through I was acting like a shithead billionaire as a cover). At that moment the hospital security arrived with guns drawn, I knew they were operators disguised as rent a cops in the employ of my man-in-the-chair sibling. They said "unhand Ms [My name]" and the nurse sort of went slack in shock and I told them to detain her while I considered her fate. That's when I woke up. :::

gaystyleJoker [she/her] - 1.1yr

hi, does anyone wanna make the mega in the upcoming weeks? if so, reply to this post and i'll add you to the list!

the list as it stands:

Eco* (6/30 - 7/6)
Disaster_of_Passion (7/7 - 7/13)
sodium_nitride (7/14 - 7/20)
peanutbuttercupola* (7/21 - 7/27)
BountifulEggnog* (7/28 - 8/3)    
oscardejarjayes* (8/4 - 8/10)
Seryph (8/11 - 8/17)

* after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters

MF_COOM [he/him] - 1.1yr

I kind of want to do one on Vinylon

Edit Fuck haha I thought this was the general all day nm

iridaniotter [she/her] - 1.1yr

Vinylon

omg juche fiber mentioned

It would make a good mega right?

Yeah for sure

Hestia [she/her, fae/faer] - 1.1yr

Can’t go too far into detail because of opsec but a lot of my coworkers including my supervisor stood up for me last night and threatened to quit. Enough people in my department to cripple the functionality of the entire place. I have severely underestimated how many people have my back and the the lengths they are willing to go for me.

inTheShadowOf [she/her] - 1.1yr

cat-trans Hell yeah, I hope things are okay going forward.

onandrah1 [she/her] - 1.1yr

Hey loves 💙,

Just wanted to check in since my last post kinda got lost in the megathread. Things are still really rough here in Gorom Camp we’re trying so hard to clear hospital bills and find somewhere safe after our shelters got burned down.

I’m gonna keep replying to folks here with love so people know we’re not just here asking, we care too.

We still need about $825 to cover what’s left for safety, food, and medicine. I’ve updated my profile with a bit about what’s happening + my mutual aid link if anyone wants to help or share.

Honestly, every kind word or share right now keeps us going. Thank you so much for seeing us.

My mutual aid link is in my profile if you’re able to support or boost.

Sending so much love and strength to everyone trying to survive another week. Solidarity always.

yewler [she/her] - 1.1yr

::: spoiler transphobia My dad told me being trans was a sin and when I asked what was wrong about it he said it's cause of the harm it can cause to myself and when I asked what kind of harm that is he told me that people are gonna treat me bad because of it.

So let me get this straight. It's a sin for me to be trans because other people can be transphobic? That's so fucking rich coming from someone who drove 3 hours out of his way to meet me in person and tell me he's rarely ever 100% confident about anything but he's 100% confident I'm not a woman and that calling me by my FUCKING NAME would be feeding a delusion. :::

Being trans is hands down the best thing that's ever happened to me. But holy fuck I'm so sick of other people

BountifulEggnog [it/its, she/her] - 1.1yr

::: spoiler spoiler I love when religious people work backwards from their conclusion. Clearly nothing even based in his book, just vibes. I'm sorry you have to deal with him cat-trans :::

Yeah I'm AFAB. Assigned female at bureaucracy because my paperwork came back cat-trans

TerminalEncounter [she/her] - 1.1yr

I've done notice of births, I've been there when the baby's come out, listened to the heart and lungs, counted fingers and toes, looked for congenital anomalies, kinda weird to look at a baby - realize I had to assign a gender even though I knew it only meant I was putting the baby in a category based on the literal exterior anatomy I saw, not anything in baby's head, not their genes, not even anything internal. Made me think back on when the nurse had initially assigned ME female when I was born but "corrected" herself on the paperwork later lol. I forgive her, it took me a while to figure it out too

Yeah it certainly is silly.

I remember a story she's ago about a cis woman who was accidentally assigned male at birth and her parents were functionally illiterate and didn't notice so as an adult her birth certificate said male and her red state wouldn't let her change it because they kept assuming she was trans.

Arahnya [fae/faer, he/him] - 1.1yr

Down with cisheteropatriarchy

Boynomoder [she/her, pup/pup's] - 1.1yr

I will not crashout today doggirl-thumbsup

Wmill [they/them, fae/faer] - 1.1yr

Doing a forklift test today and it was odd, all the guys were shit talking each other hard but when I was up it was "you got this wmill" which I don't mind but the contrast is very stark ngl

lol that’s kinda wholesome

My blessing is people are kind to me

buh [she/her, any] - 1.1yr

I'm not "too old to transition", I'm doing twink necromancy

AntifaSuperWombat [she/her] - 1.1yr

up with trans

GenderIsOpSec [she/her, kit/kit's] - 1.1yr

i'd get mad if someone sent me a self-portrait

GayTuckerCarlson [she/her] - 1.1yr

@Grok make a watercolor of gay bugs bunny

::: spoiler Venting about transphobia I've become radicalised to the point of thinking anyone that uses the terms theyfab or theymab to invalidate nonbinary people should have rocks thrown at them until they stop. :::

Cis people thinking they know better then me, and being transphobic, and all of that shit is making me crash out so hard this morning. I can't cope with this in a healthy way. Fuck them. Even the best most caring, whatever etc normally good people do this. I hate them. I hate forever being surrounded by them my whole fucking life.

Cis people will literally tell you diy is bad and you need to go to the doctor while telling you they do coke and molly. "oh no I don't know anything about trans stuff" then stfu and help me you stupid fucking ********.

Feel like I'm losing my mind I literally can't deal with ts. Why are people so fucking stupid and horrible?

aren't you overreacting

No not really, this isn't just about another person not helping me either. Sick to death of cis people.

idk how you convince them, it's frustrating.

The Bus, 1929 by Frida Kahlo

Trans mega, they could never make me post in general mega. I appreciate the vibes here.

CDommunist [she/her, love/loves] - 1.1yr

Who else crashing out but still vibing?

RION [she/her] - 1.1yr

During therapy earlier this week I talked about how envious I was about a work acquaintance and her smooth legs. And as I kept talking I started tearing up which took me completely by surprise. I didn't realize how important that was to me until that moment

Another nail in the coffin for my brain worms (said after 5+ months on HRT :clueless:)

WoodScientist [she/her] - 1.1yr

Laser, girl, laser! I haven't shaved my legs in a decade.

I don't think I'm a good laser candidate as my hair isn't all that dark :/ But I do think its becoming a little weaker with HRT, I'll be pulling on it while wearing shorts and it comes off surprisingly easy

I'm realizing in about a month I'll be coming up on the anniversary of my egg crack. It's crazy to me I'm almost a year in

same, I don't remember the exact day but it was some time in late July...

I don't really know the exact day either but I know it was pretty dang close to August 8, because that's the day I texted my sister about it and I talked to her extremely close to the day the crack happened. So I think I'm gonna just call it August 8.

EstraDoll [she/her, he/him] - 1.1yr

thanks to the magic of Discord, I can scroll up in my friend's DMs and pinpoint the egg crack to a point with a margin of error of about 15 minutes

And thus I sacrifice my free time to sleep early like a nerd nerd I can wake up tomorrow feeling refreshed and ready to take on any forklift challenge placed before me.

0x2640 - 1.1yr

we would like a temporary break from existing so shit stops happening to us pretty pretty please bottom-speak

Disaster_of_Passion [kit/kit's, she/her] - 1.1yr

cuddle

Real

Although idk if I'd come back

getting some kind of weird gender envy from how well the WKUK guys pass for just being some cis dudes crossdressing for a sketch comedy show

Amnesigenic - 1.1yr

Fair, same

Art should be challenging. I like Frida. She's so expressive, so unafraid to explore herself, and not afraid to depict herself earnestly. She's very free

Also monkeys are cool

Self Portrait with Monkeys, 1943

🎀 Seryph (She/Her) - 1.1yr

Went out to a crafts market tonight, was really lovely. Also got genuinely like 20 compliments on my outfit at least. Like 2/3rds of the artists and then a solid couple random people. Even got a free pair of earrings from one specifically because my outfit was so nice. The fashion privilege is real.

Actually now that I think about it this is also like the first public thing I've done in months. Huh. Maybe I should go out more, maybe I could make friends by just being cute..

sodium_nitride [she/her, any] - 1.1yr

Living the life of a shojo protagonist.

Went hiking today and came across a former monastery with a cool crypt that had a 1000 year-old sarcophagus inside it. But what really made my day was the statue in front of it.

It had a pride flag around it's shoulders and there was a sign right next to it condemning bigotry (including that of the Catholic Church) and calling for solidarity. Good to know that some Catholic institutions do actually take Christian love to heart. flag-gay-pride

I wish I lived in a place where you can find cool shit while hiking. Where I'm at all you can see is... rocks and dirt lol

Eco [she/her, he/him] - 1.1yr

MusicOwl [comrade/them, sie/hir] - 1.1yr

no more half measures

CrookedSerpent [she/her] - 1.1yr

I just got "sir-ed" at work and that has literally never happened before in the 4 years of working customer service while being out. Now I'm paranoid that I actually don't pass and everyone is just being nice to me lol. I know cis women occasionally get misgendered and he was probably just stupid, but damn happy pride ig XD

::: spoiler sex dream I dreamt I had sex with Carrie-Anne Moss. It was fucking awesome. And her at her current age, not like a nostalgic version. No idea what could've triggered it, I haven't thought of her since Matrix 4 lol. She was more the top which is unusual for me but whatever :::

shallot [she/her] - 1.1yr

::: spoiler volcel police plz Wow I want to dream about Carrie Anne moss topping me where do I sign up :::

Oh that's a better dream than any of mine

It's bad. The doctor diagnosed me with cringe.

hit me up if you ever need advice living with this condition, I've got experience with it

Literally just saw a sign in my uni that says "it helps others if you are open about who you are".

This can't be a coincidence. My data is being tracked.

Moss [they/them] - 1.1yr

I had sleep paralysis for the first time ever this morning and it was not fun. I didn't know what was happening, I kept hallucinating that I struggled out of bed looking for help, but I was really weak and couldn't keep my eyes open. Then I would realize I was hallucinating, find myself back in bed and the hallucinations would start again. It went on for ages,.like at least fifteen minutes, and it was really scary. Also at one point I hallucinated that I was in work and about to collapse.

I finally woke up, checked my alarm and then went straight back to sleep

VibeCoder [they/them] - 1.1yr

I have an extremely questionable solution to sleep paralysis if it continues to happen

I was getting tortured with sleep paralysis by a demonic figure for months. I was terrified to go to sleep and was constantly exhausted. Finally the demon came to me and offered to leave me alone in exchange for my soul. I agreed in a sleepy stupor and haven’t had sleep paralysis since.

Just sell your soul, Moss. It’s the only method PROVEN to beat sleep paralysis.

Rojo27 [he/him] - 1.1yr

Had this happen to me for the first time a couple weeks ago. Very similar. I was dreaming and somehow I ended up in my bed. I couldn't tell if it was real or just a dream because everything looked exactly how my room looks. When I tried moving I couldn't. I looked at my arms to make sure they were there and they were, but they just weren't moving. Finally I woke up, but I was actually still dreaming and I was slowly able to start moving my arms before I woke up again, in the same dream lol. When I finally woke up I was so confused.

tamagotchicowboy [he/him] - 1.1yr

Going to second the hardest part is remaining calm, if you can realize you're hallucinating that's a huge help since then you can remember no matter what scary reactions your mind is giving you its just the prequel to a dream and hallucinations can't hurt you, just scare you. Then you can use it for a lucid dream hack (idk how that works exactly, its a sort of hypnagogic state I figure) and do literally anything you want, only limited by imagination.

Worst episode I had was as a teen since my mom IRL was calling me and I couldn't shrug off sleep and all my usually wake up tricks failed, then she shook me IRL and I still couldn't wake up, for years she used episode that to accuse me of being on drugs.

A more amusing hallucination was a angel-biblical showed up, reminding me of my cousin that studies Aramaic joke about priests seeing devils, atheists seeing angels and laypeople who knows what they see. I have no idea what they wanted, seemed nice though. I figure religious people were just tripping or trying to sleep, and that's why you see sacred geometry everywhere. Its trippy, they don't have eyebrows or eyelids, yet their eyes have emotions.

cis people are so annoying

SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them] - 1.1yr

Hey I'm so sorry I'm late with my post. Turns out I had the OP in my blocked list, no clue why and I hadn't seen the mega til I checked. And I was wondering why no one had decided to make one.

Be sure to check back daily or so, we are being blessed with periodic art and commentary updates!

I may have gone overboard buying cute girl hats, but the logic I have is that's my head is the one part of my body estrogen won't really change. So I can invest now.

gone overboard buying cute girl hats

No such thing.

Depends, did you get a beret? If no, you don't have enough cute girl hats yet

Ooh berets

LocalOaf [they/them, she/her] - 1.1yr

::: spoiler confused emotionally lol shit, I think I'm in love with my best friend? Has anyone ever realized that they're in love platonically? The idea of our relationship becoming romantic is weird and daunting to me and we're more like really close siblings that aren't related but I think I realized the other day that I really deeply love this person and could easily see myself living together and being affectionate but not necessarily romantically? idk

ohnoes :::

::: spoiler spoiler definitely something I've experienced before and I don't think is necessarily too uncommon, although I agree it can feel very confusing haha. I've had it happen a few of times and when it does it usually takes me a little bit to untangle in my head what the nature of the love is. and even though I'm not aro or ace, I do think that a queerplatonic relationship would be something that's desirable and fulfilling. :::

::: spoiler spoiler Thought about it some more and yeah, pretty sure I'm in love catgirl-huh

I can't imagine my life without this person but it's overwhelming and complicated and

screm-a aaaa

They're poly and already have two partners who are both really cool and I'm also friends with but idk how that'd potentially work since I really don't think I'm poly and I get really attached to ppl I fall for :::

Tommasi [she/her, pup/pup's] - 1.1yr

Stood in the checkout line behind a guy who was like 6'3 just towering over me crush

~~I should get back on the apps~~

As a trans gal married to just such a 6'3" guy...I have to say, I highly recommend.

Standing next to each other, he can rest his chin on the top of my head... :3 <3

The good thing about having a partner taller than you is you are always at forehead kisses height

I am taller than pretty much anyone I meet, except the properly tall almost Ripleys style tall people.

::: spoiler spoiler god I hate towering over people :kitty-cri-potato: :::

My favorite thing about women’s clothing is that instead of being shamed for being short, I get to be 𝓅𝑒𝓉𝒾𝓉𝑒

Uh I haven't really considered bottom surgery. But I realize I dropped my middle name which is a euphemism for penis. And the bits about losing my "Dick" (not the one) would be pretty hilarious.

Hey comrades 💜 We were attacked in the camp for being trans ...two of my sisters were hurt, and our shelters were burned. We’re now in a hospital that gave us just a few days to pay or they’ll call the police.

We’ve raised $533 out of $1500 so far thank you to everyone who’s helped. Truly, you’re keeping us going.

If you feel okay reading or sharing, the link’s in my profile. No pressure even just seeing us means a lot. 🙏🏿🏳️‍⚧️

It’s shameful for hospitals to treat patients in such a way

Thank you, truly 💔. My sisters Pretty and Malaika were attacked with machetes their injuries are serious and they’re still in the hospital. The only place that treated them is now threatening to call the police if we can’t pay.

We’ve raised $533 out of $1500. If you can help keep our story seen or shared, it means everything.

Kuori [she/her, pup/pup's] - 1.1yr

luffy-exhausted it's so hot. why the fuck is it so hot.

::: spoiler Boymoders in shambles rn Its me, I'm boymoders :::

truly hope you are not rocking the hoodie in this shit sweat

No I took it off a few days ago and I feel naked without it...

our fatigue and pain is getting worse for seemingly no reason, we havent been pushing ourselves at all and that doesnt seem to matter in the slightest

very concerning how much weve declined in the last 6 months

dunno, thats it. just needed to put our thoughts down somewhere

Be sure to check out the post body, which also gets updated with a new painting

Carl [he/him] - 1.1yr

cash rules everything around me

tfw cis people

kiryu-slam disgost angery rage-cry peppino-shotgun

woke up to the horrible realization that someone else peed my bed

doggirl-shock

Nya ha haaaa

The bed peeer strikes again

Dort_Owl [they/them, any] - 1.0yr

Sorry

it's tuesday taco tuesday

if you're not eating tuesday tacos on tuesday taco tuesday what are you even doing with your life

Eating chili, which is kind of like like taco stew.

recently my mom has been showing me random nail salon videos she finds on tiktok and IG reels and idk if she's catching on or what, I'm certain she's not accepting of trans people based on things she's said in the past so idk how to interpret this

PorkrollPosadist [he/him, they/them] - 1.1yr

(to the tune of "Fly Like an Eagle")

Dicks keep on slipping, slipping, slipping,

Into my butthole

I'm nearing a year into transition and I'm just now thinking about middle names haha

I have a gender neutral first name, so my legal name change was just dropping boy middle names, I didn't add anything because a bunch of my documents didn't have those middle names anyway.

Oh that's soooo cool. I love that

I actually didn't like my name growing up, because people would go "isn't that a girl name?"

So I kind of grew into it.

Omg your name got redemption that's so sweet 😭

I've been trying to come up with a middle name since I figured out my first (didn't take long) and have made literally no progress on it kitty-cri-potato

Yeah it didn't take me long at all to figure out the first name. It quite literally came to me in a dream and I went with it lmao. But yeah middle names are hard

Go without one like Bernie bern-disgust

Why couldn't I have gotten better parents

John Brown was right JB-shining-aggro

I’m a femarxist

my sleep schedule is so fucking cooked. supposed to be snoring for the next three or four hours but I woke up because I thought I had a zoom meeting (it's next week not today) and now I can't get back to sleep.

human bodies were not meant to work the graveyard shift. or at the very least mine wasn't.

thoughtful_poster @lemmygrad.ml - 1.0yr

is amerikkka in the get tf out stage yet

my ex moving in w me in a couple months to escape it gulp

::: spoiler more of the same, mention of bottom dysphoria Can't do anything. Anxious. Hopeless. Hate going into work and somehow need to get more hours. Need to do more, it's always more. Whatever I'm doing is never enough. Scared. Don't even want to transition atp. Too scary, probably won't be happy anyway. Just want to give up. I feel like I'm dying, have been dying. I've been crying off and on a lot more these past couple of days. Keep getting dysphoric being around women and it feels shitty. Everything is shitty and painful. Fucking ruined.

Woke up nearly crying from bottom dysphoria. Not much else to say abt it I guess. :::

staring at myself in the mirror after plucking my eyebrows trying to figure out if i did a good job or a bad job only to realize that i have absolutely no idea how well i did and i have no idea what i'm doing screm-pretty

imogen_underscore [it/its, she/her] - 1.1yr

if they don't look bad you probably did good but maybe plucked a bit conservatively. you could try taking a little more off next time and see how it goes. it just became fairly intuitive for me after a few months of practice, but you can get very mathematical with it if you want:

Imo it's a lt easier if you get them waxed by someone who know what they're doing first, so you can just maintain by following the shape they made for you

It's the traditional eyebrow plucking experience.

The squirrels are on the other side of my fence, teasing my dog.

Sometimes they climb down the tree to juuuuuust outside of her reach. They know what they're doing.

Self Portrait as a Tehuana, 1943 by Frida Kahlo

Oh wow I like this one a lot

Thank you for doing this :)

I wonder how much Friday Rice I will eat over the course of my life. doggirl-shock

I think you'll eat a whole lifetime's worth of Fridays amount of Friday Rice

Im orienting in two different units after moving

They dont share schedule stuff

I am working 12s every day of the week for 2 weeks, fuck. Stacking money I guess

After like two days of feeling good catgirl-flop I can feel the negativity oozing...

::: spoiler spoiler back to crying and hating my life kitty-cri :::

Super Special Ultra Rare Tuesday Taco Tuesday doggirl-shock

the way my hair, earrings, and facemask go today is honestly super cool and removedy and it's honestly kind of a shame that the only reason I'm presentable today is incase apartment maintenance decides to actually show up and fix my sink.

Honestly?? I bet you look drop-dead gorgeous ...even if it’s “just” for the sink guy Maintenance doesn’t deserve that level of slay, but I’m glad the mirror got to see it!

Hope they actually show up .. but either way, your vibe sounds undeniably cool today .

oh to be a gorgeous, pretty little piece of eye candy in a trashy miniskirt smoking a cigarette, clinging underneath the strong, warm arms of a 7'2" bodybuilding phrenologist on a cold spring day

SterlingPooper [none/use name] - 1.1yr

Reeling from the discovery that I forgot to pack my Adderall. I've been turning into a slug this week and just figured out why. Gonna have to head home early because ooh boy this ain't it for the old brain

Edit: I can't wait for this week to be over. I just want to go home and be a blob. I'm ready for this wedding to be over, I'm ready to go home.

::: spoiler Has not improved, just very overwhelmed. Wanted to have more energy this week but I suppose I'm just gonna try to push through to Saturday.

I feel like I'm coming unraveled. Somehow feeling even more isolated? Wasn't really able to change that during pride month. Like, I'm botching this so hard.

I can barely focus and I have to be at this wedding in a suit and everyone just sees me as a guy so like, fuck.

Also I've been zoning out so I didn't even get to do any skincare or shave or anything. But nobody knows, so nobody cares. Was anybody ever gonna call me pretty at this thing tomorrow?

I don't know what's normal to want. I think I get overlooked, I don't necessarily think I'm seeing something that isn't there. I fucking try and it's been the same for years.

I just want girl friends to be pretty and cute with and go shopping and hang out with idk. :::

My local Pride was fun!! I walked around collecting goodies. I'm a sucker for things with rainbows on them, and all the pan/enby colored collectibles. It was like 100° but I was vibing

Im so glad you has fun! The enby pride flag is so dope, love the colours. That and the gender fluid pride one are pretty bold

Took my nail polish off for the job fair I'm going to tomorrow, I honestly don't expect to find anything but the training I'm doing is requiring us to do it. At most I'll get some interview experience so I'll do my best, plus I already got some polish ready for afterwards I wanna try.

::: spoiler sex I genuinely have no idea where the line between "yea that's a bit crude" and me just being a sex negative prude is :cheems: idk wish I was more comfortable with it as a topic but I literally have no idea where the lines are supposed to be.

For context I was talking with a cis (?) woman who said she wishes she could hit a magic button and get a dick so she could fuck a girl with it. And like idk, it made me feel a bit uncomfortable, and I feel like that's how I feel every time someone talks about it, and and I wish that wasn't the case but also I'm not sure what I'm "supposed" to be comfortable with. :::

Prudes unite doggirl-hi

::: spoiler spoiler You might be feeling dysphoric in that case more than prudish, but also you might just not wanna tall about sex as much or as in detail. Which is 100% fine lol. Might be a topic you only wanna share with a handful or even just one person (a partner or spouse probably) - or no one, although you've talked about wanting a partner of some kind so presumably you gotta address it with someone at least once :::

Back to dooming about my hair

It has come to my attention that there is a major league baseball pitcher named "Dicky Lovelady"

That is all

REPORT: area enby with lifting logbook at gym not fucking around

But how will you find out?

It's me, I'm area enby

waow-based

Anyone else feel most comfortable cross legged on the floor? Of course lying down on a bed is the truly most comfortable, but when doing computer stuff I like being on the floor with my laptop also on the floor. It’s better than sitting on a chair.

Sitting in my desk chair cross legged lol

we sit like L from death note most of the time x3 dunno it has just become a comfortable position for us (tho less so recently as our disabilities have gotten worse)

example image :p

Bisexual sitting icon

yeh :3

kills my hips and my ankles more recently, i am old

Beetle [hy/hym] - 1.1yr

Fuck liberals

Fuck lobsters? volcel-police

VOLCEL_POLICE [it/its] - 1.1yr

The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.

نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.

volcel-police

propter_hog [any, any] - 1.1yr

I have two Frida pillows on my couch.

I hope things are going well

Viva la Vida, Watermelons

SuperZutsuki [they/them] - 1.1yr

Can't believe Frida named a painting after a Coldplay album smdh

a blessed yuri day to all who celebrate hexbear-lesbian

hexbear-lesbian

GayTuckerCarlson [she/her] - 1.0yr

Thank you to everyone who took the time to appreciate the artwork posted throughout the week

I hope everyone enjoyed

Me and My Parrot, 1941

infuziSporg [e/em/eir] - 1.1yr

a 🌐?? in the 🔻 factory?? how queer!! ive never seen such a thing- i must inquire about this further with my supervisor post-haste!!

I also had a dream last night that they made a voiced, graphics and AI updated, VR version of Morrowind and it was really unpleasant because it was basically just Dunmer racially harassing you non stop.

Good mega topic! I am sleepy today.

Also, I want to play Fire Emblem: Three Houses again. It might be one of my favourite games ever.

ClathrateG [none/use name] - 1.1yr

'what that trot cock do?' - FK

Thinking of painting my nails again during lulls in class, seeing dudes go wide eye at me like I have superpowers is I'll admit a lot of fun. The painting is for me but this is just an added bonus ngl idk I just really like being a weirdo

dewit :3

Multi-art mega! Multi-art mega!!

Self Portrait with Loose Hair, 1947

She's so fucking cool

I've no clue where my brush is rn, but I need it bad. New fantasy I got would be to have a partner so they can comb it for me when I'm feeling frazzled.

Unfortunate that my face is like that

Gonna be the second weird mexican dude to say it to you but "I like your face" mario-thumbs-up

::: spoiler mistake making, feeling bad / anxiety, but overcoming it

A few weeks ago I made a mistake, have felt bad about it for a while. Ive been trying to push the anxiety aside. Well today, I basically fixed it! I really hate the thing in question lol but at least now I can fix them 😩 :::

I am actually just really afraid of being vulnerable (I know how cliche it sounds).

I don't know how many years of introspection it took, but yeah, I'll admit it. If I strip away all the excuses and blaming other people, and focus solely on my own behaviour, then that's the conclusion I come to.

Are other people at fault for the problems in my life? A little bit. But that just doesn't matter. Do I not have the kind of relationship with my parents where I feel I can be open to them? I don't. And yet, I still just have to admit that I have a loser mentality. My current strategy is to just delay, delay and delay, cause I don't want to come out to my parents. This just won't cut it.

At some point I need to bite the bullet and accept that some people will be in the position of hurting me, and some will definitely hurt me. There is a limit to the distance I can maintain with my parents, unless I am willing to cut ties and basically be stranded in a foreign country.

JohnBrownsBussy2 [she/her, they/them] - 1.1yr

Well, attempting to use Paypal to order E via crypto failed. It looks like there is some sort of automatic hold on the account, and from what I could gathered it can't be lifted in any rational fashion. So, ended up losing $10 selling over transaction fees and market fluctuations, and I'll need to figure out a different wallet solution.

Is it just a delay thing? Often with services like paypal and coinbase, they put a 7-10 day hold on external crypto transfers. So if you send funds in from your bank account, there's a 7-10 day delay before you can send any crypto you buy with those funds to an external wallet. This prevents people from buying crypto with stolen credit cards and immediately transferring the funds out in an irreversible crypto transaction.

I've already waited a week. From the community discussion, apparently there's a 48 automatic hold on sending crypto that resets when you make sending attempts, and can be triggered by VPNs as well. Could not get it to work, and I am just going to cut my losses and work with a different wallet/exchange.

In other news I heard a woman for the first time while voice training yesterday. It kinda flabbergasted me. I'm still absolutely shocked that I was capable of producing anything close to what I heard with my own voice

::: spoiler depression I remember a time when I mostly liked being alive, but somehow I keep waking up in a different time, and I think that’s rude. :::

musicenjoyer [it/its, xe/xem] - 1.1yr

t and DashPCT > ::: spoiler spoiler I purchased T but idk how the paying process works. Think I have a hang of it? Either way am happy. :::

Dreamt the girl I was crushing on fell for Wario lenin-pensive also I was developing spiderman powers which was cool but I I was shaping upt to take on Frieza from dbz. I don't think I wanna go into powerscaling but felt inadequate in both senses.

I'm either taking the Wariopill or the spiderman pill and if it isn't obvious which one I'm taking then I just need to take more of it.

how it feels to change your DNS server so you can go to leafly.com on the library wifi

If only I had a private security team just to deal with people that piss me off.

That was very Dorley Hall I feel.

::: spoiler depression, I'm sorry Curled up in bed again. Was trying to hype myself up for a shower but I don't want to so I think I'm just going to skip it, again. I fell behind. Everything was going okay when I was a kid. Then the depression and dysphoria and shit happened and now I'm a shell.

I never really existed, not the real me. Just this horrible, disgusting monster. Very sad idk. I feel very detached from my real self, and like I won't get there.

I've been thinking about things that have happened this past year and they don't feel real. I put together some legos a few months ago, but it feels strange. My friend made me a birthday cake, but really? Conversations, etc. Even just things that happened today. It all feels so hazy, dreamlike... :::

::: spoiler negativity Being trans is probably like 95% of my depression and dissociation tbh. Fucking garbage :::

meow-hug

meow-hug Thank you ::: spoiler more whining you don't have to respond, si/hopelessness It just feels so hopeless. All my effort isn't enough. I don't have enough effort in the world to do what I need to do to be happy. Obviously that leaves me with one option. I obviously don't like being here and won't. What am I expecting to happen to change that. There is literally only one answer then.

I've felt that would be my answer for a long time. Now I see, I understand, I have an actual concrete reason. Nothing about this situation is going to change. I'm not going to wake up cis, or not damaged by T, or with any more strength then I had the last day. I'm not going to be less bothered by this awful, awful society.

I never really even got to live. What a cruel, sick joke. I hate that I was ever born.

sorry for venting on you :::

::: spoiler spoiler Honey, you haven't even done HRT nevermind let it go for a couple years. Get on it, stay on it, first - then revisit how you feel about dysphoria :::

Thank you for the reminder, it's just been really bad recently. I am trying.

yewler [she/her] - 1.0yr

I like not being aromantic. It's nice. I think I can officially call myself panromantic

::: spoiler Dysphonia Dysphoria I tested positive to Influenza B, my voice has gotten so deep and scratchy, it's odd talking makes me really dysphoric, but also it's kind of affirming, because I kind of thought this was how I sounded anyway? So now I'm like "No my normal voice isn't this bad" :::

::: spoiler spoiler There was a time from smoke and a different time from getting sick that I lost all my chest and lower register, that was pretty nice. Enforced voice training. Of course, I strained and ended up just losing my voice entirely lol :::

nemmybun [she/her, sae/saer] - 1.1yr

I might be partway on the path to being on the verge of possibly getting my shit together maybe

A few Frida paintings

Moses, 1945

Frida in Flames, 1954

Roots, 1943

How long can I keep doing spring cleaning before I run out of things to clean? The answer is aparantly 2 days.

Gotta start working on my labor theory of value simulations again.

wombat [none/use name] - 1.1yr

it is june 25 and stalin saved the world from fascism

Writing out a whole ass creed being super negative about myself then deleting it catgirl-sorry .

Ain't nobody need to see that except Zuckerberg (who I assume is monitoring this site)

Also, I swear to God, my boobs itch so much. What the hell am I supposed to do about this? I'm in constant suffering 😫.

MusicOwl [comrade/them, sie/hir] - 1.0yr

Happy pride, ya’ll leslie-shining rosa-salute

TerminalEncounter [she/her] - 1.0yr

Had a guy with a White Pride tattoo in big letters along with a few other nazi tattoos on em. That was a fun test of if I can care for someone I really dont want to

DornerStan @lemmygrad.ml - 1.1yr

I am a concept trapped in a world of symbols

::: spoiler depressing rant about personhood

Doppelgänger fiction is depressing because the angst characters have that others only like the mask and not the self is just true, and the trope where another character realizes there's an impersonator is just cope. No one expects a doppelgänger, so a convincing impersonation is not even necessary. While humans are biosocial beings, under any organization of society where embodiment is critical to its functions, "person" becomes nearly synonymous with "body". So it is not even necessarily the "role" a doppelgänger must take on convincingly. The most important "role" a person plays is just their physical presence. Actual behavior can be quite inconsistent!

Written a couple days after watching Episode 14 of Ergo Proxy via proxy, ha.

So anyway this is why we must all aspire to be more like Fai Rodis from the hit untranslated novel Bull's Hour.

Not sure why you consider the doppelganger stuff to be depressing. As a doppelganger myself, I find your take to be reassuring and inspirational.

I think people find it angsty to discover someone else could take over their life. They dont even have to do it particularly well - think like Nimic (2019) lol

Some music I've been listening to lately

Made it through everything, and boy oh boy do I ~~not feel better~~ feel moderately better but really just burnt out tbh

::: spoiler dysphoric Weddings are the most gendered thing ever so it's just really a bad time, on top of being Adderall deprived. I don't feel like a bride or a groom. But I also feel like the only person in the room who feels that way.

And then everyone talking about the wedding they were all at that I missed because I was dogsitting.

Damn, what if I just ate this wine glass? :::

Stressful day prob gonna get some dollar store cookies when I get home. I know I shouldn't but I also gave my lunch away to one of my classmates so like it balances out

Maybe some more nail polish too, idk maybe I shouldn't but myself stuff to feel good but damn today 😔

I got oatmeal cookies, drank a shot of apple cider vinegar to balance it out and saved some for tomorrow.

Read the entirety of Gender Outlaw dancing-roach . cw discussion of dysphoria and medical gatekeeping ::: spoiler spoiler _this week going good then I remember my period is Friday. will feel like shit, wanting to rip my uterus out .am glad I ordered T online , i won't have to be on a waitlist :::

onandrah1 [she/her] - 1.0yr

Hey loves,

I just had to come here and share this amazing update with you all, we did it! We got the full amount to cover my sisters’ hospital bills. Thanks to your support, donations, shares, and kind words, they’re safe in the hospital now and getting the care they need.

I can’t even explain how much this means. It was such a scary time, and you all showed up for us in ways I’ll never forget. Your love and solidarity honestly saved lives, and I’m so, so grateful for this community. 🙏🏿

Right now we’re focusing on helping them heal and trying to find somewhere safer to move so we can start to feel okay again without living in fear.

If you still want to support, my mutual aid link is in my profile but today I just wanted to celebrate this big step forward with you and say thank you from the bottom of my heart. 💜

Seriously, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Steam summer sale started, very tempted to buy the funny twitter lesbian chaser visual novel now that it's only a few dollars

What game would that be?

Heaven Will Be Mine

yess do it

Halimede made a visual novel?

Halimede is from a Visual Novel

Ohmygod I forgot surprised-pika-messed-up

BountifulEggnog [it/its, she/her] - 1.0yr

::: spoiler spoiler Angry. Bitter. Dysphoric. Mostly angry in a way I can't quite describe though. Very strong and in a way that makes me want to hurt myself (although the actual anger is directed at others which makes it harder to explain). Staying safe though. :::

Big the Cat cameos are great, one of the main reasons the dreamcast version of SA 2 is better than battle imo. His secret appearances in secret rings were also great but fuck me you definitely need a guide for some of them, having to stop and wait in a proto runner game for 5 seconds is not something I'd think of especially in some of the places he appears in. He's very much a vibe that I wanna emulate of just showing up in places doing his thing, for as big as the sonic world is supposed to be running into the same cast is eh. Like any game involves knuckles where he isn't on angel island guarding the master emblem I'm like wtf you doing here but Big he can be anywhere and I won't question it.

Definitely just going to repost this in the new mega, so congrats everyone here for getting to read this twice

Fucking ridiculous how much I cut myself shaving. New razor, used on my face twice. Cut my legs 3 times. My legs have a bunch of scars from shaving now. I've been doing this for like a year and still can't get it. Genuinely just stupid or something.

::: spoiler dysphoria Low key knew with how bad I was feeling I shouldn't shave but letting it grow out is so disgusting and vile I genuinely can't. ::: Genuinely can't even get the easiest shit down that even children can do. Dunno how anyone expects me to be able to do anything actually hard like voice training. Not built for ts. Yes I'm crashing out over cutting myself shaving fight me. It happens all the damn time and I'm tired of it.

I wrote a mediocre poem , idk if anyone would read it though, it's not pure garbage but it's not great (at least I think?) . poem below ::: spoiler spoiler To change is to transgress

Whether by clothes , pronouns , hormones, surgery or a mix of all 4

Being trans is to challenge the means of what is socially/politically accepted

You refuse to engage in cishet normativity Saying no to the 'idea' of 'biological sex' and 'biological gender'

Experiences of rejection and hate by entire political parties such as Labor or Democrat , even ones who like you are trans radicalize you

How could you support a system that wants you dead?

You no longer see the purpose of electoral politics

read theory, unionizing the workplace, practicing boycott, divestments and sanctions as well organizing with your fellow proles

Alas you came a long way, a new comrade made :::

These Trueanon eps are getting way too long. Edging into that bleak steamer 3 hour neverending slop trough territory.

Streetlights cast shadows to obscure

Flashed smiles, averted eyes, practiced laughter

All shadows in the night

Armor for our hearts

In a glade we found solitude

Rain giving way to the gentle light of dusk

Rending our armor of shadow

Our hearts, now exposed to pain and love

In equal measure

SterlingPooper [none/use name] - 1.0yr

::: spoiler finally back on self care I'm back in my apartment and getting adjusted to Adderall again! This week was rough, but I know next week will feel better.

I took it easy today and finally got around to shaving and using Nair as well. When I'm smooth I feel much more comfortable wearing tank tops, and I'm trying incorporate more of those and L/XL t-shirts.

All in all had a good week, was volunteering at my old school. Fun stuff! :::

the roaring knight is a punk (they can't hear me right?)

Im gonna watch MCR soon~

Zuzak [fae/faer, she/her] - 1.0yr

I just went thrifting for the first time in like 2 years. I was unemployed and on a spending freeze for non-essentials, and meanwhile the HRT was doing its thing, so I haven't been able to get new clothes to complement the changes (let alone changes in style). It's honestly incredible to be able to do that again now that I have a new job and an income, I really got some ~~nice stretchy tops that make my titties pop~~ affirmation and confidence out of it.

inTheShadowOf [she/her] - 1.0yr

Last day of pride month :/

::: spoiler end of June thoughts Somehow I'm never in town for the queer meetups. If I didn't know any better I'd assume they're scheduling things when I can't go, but it's just a really annoying coincidence every time.

Gonna try again to find an in-person therapist. One place just has an intake form on their website, and it feels sketchy to fill it out and input all my info without like, talking to someone I guess?

I can also go through my university I'm pretty sure. It's annoying because obviously there are resources, but they're just elusive somehow? And there are queer people around but like, I just don't see all that many events that appeal to me?

Other people appear to be meet up with people they already know. I don't know a single other queer person on campus. I don't see an obvious opportunity to meet people.

I also know that I'm fucking weird in that I'd be way more likely to go to more things if I had one person. I need to be made to socialize, frankly.

I'm using Tinder again because I don't know where or how people meet around here. I want a relationship, but I also have zero friends, and I don't know what I want or who I want to be when I'm in a relationship. ::: might post this in the new mega too idk.

0x2640 - 1.0yr

doggirl-smug