hi, does anyone wanna make the mega in the upcoming weeks? if so, reply to this post and i'll add you to the list!

the list as it stands:

BountifulEggnog (4/28 - 5/4)
Hestia (5/5 - 5/11)
EstraDoll* (5/12 - 5/18)
SadArtemis* (5/19 - 5/25)
yewler* (5/26 - 6/1)
AshenWolf* (6/2 - 6/8)
PeeNutButtHer (6/9 - 6/15)
oscardejarjayes* (6/16 - 6/22)
GayTuckerCarlson* (6/23 - 6/29)
Eco* (6/30 - 7/6)
Disaster_of_Passion (7/7 - 7/13)
peanutbuttercupola* (7/14 - 7/20)

​ * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters

Remember when the pope said "gender ideology is the ugliest danger of our time"?

Sure is cool to see so much of this site gushing over this guy

I have so much respect for people who are out because that is so scary to me. I love and admire people who's presentation is audacious and challenges your views. I love trans people who do not "pass" and are happy about it, because they have so much confidence in their identity. I feel so afraid to be visibly queer, visibly different. I've never come out about my gender irl, and very few people know about my sexuality.

My pronouns are not an accidental duplication, I'd like a double serve of she-s and her-s to make up for lost time please.

Contacted a therapist today. Please be proud of me

I read a lot of hexbears yearning posts and I feel for you all, for sure, I get it's lonely. I've been single for 2 years and I just don't feel like it's a bad fate to be single. I had my great love story and it ended how it did, I feel like I'm set and good for life. I remember the feeling though: wishing I had someone close, who I could trust, who loved me, who was there when I was sad or down, feeling so so alone and desperate. I just personally haven't felt it in a loooong time

The UK needs to be broken up and TERFs should be hauled off to a gulag. Unironically. Give occupied Ireland back, and give the Scots and Welsh their independence. Then put England under strict military rule until the brain worms can be properly excised.

Seriously, what justification does the UK have for their backward bullshit? The US is full of (and run by) religious nuts, so that kind of thing is expected. What’s the UK’s excuse for their backwardness?

I just wanted to borrow a bit of e because i was running low, so i headed over to her place and did my shot, we made a little smalltalk and then she kinda just fell into me and we started cuddling. And kept cuddling and giving headpats and scritches and holding hands and hugging each other for an hour and a half. God, i'm still gushing when i think about how good it was to hold her like that. How good she smells, how soft her skin is. At one point, she fell asleep in my arms and she started twitching like a dreaming puppy. It was so cute. She's so precious. I'm so glad i have her in my life.

It's been way too long since i've randomly yelled

DICTATORSHIP OF THE QUEER

why is the bbc so fucking transphobic who are these people why do the care so much

I saw the Pope at a grocery store in Los Angeles the other day. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

Did my first injection, please clap

The injection itself wasn't that bad, I've always been okay with needles. But drawing was a pain in the ass, I had the needle in there for probably 5-10 minutes, constantly pulling and pushing the plunger back and forth to coax the stuff into the syringe. I even did the thing where you inject air into it, but maybe I didn't do it right. I just hope I didn't damage the vial or contaminate it or something

thank you for the 1,000 comment birthday megathread :)

I'm so tired of the doubt... Most of the time it comes by way of other people who are trying in earnest to make sure I'm okay, like my supervisor/mentor today. And it wasn't like denying my identity or anything, just concern that I may be putting femininity on a pedestal and straying a little too far towards self-annihilation instead of self-discovery.

When I talk with people like that who are less affirming the doubt increases and I feel worse. I want it to be true, I want to truly want to be a girl, but what that's just because I'd like an easy way to escape what I currently am?

trans rights are moomin rights

TW: medical recovery and pain ::: spoiler spoiler I just got ffs two days ago and Jesus this recovery is painful and psychologically pretty scary. My face looks very fucked up right now, and I’m pretty anxious about how it’s going to turn out. Thank god for Percocet though :::

My right tit seems to be growing slightly larger than my left. Not really much of a problem, it's just I seem to be listing right slightly while I sleep.

::: spoiler extremely depressed Imagine a girlie so fucked up and lonely and starved of care that she has to be cognizant not to accidentally start hitting on the fucking crisis counselor on the crisis hot-line.

It's me, hi, I'm the girlie. Shit like this makes me wonder if I'm just fucked up beyond repair. :::

::: spoiler misogyny Tried to pass a random guy on the streets, he stops and stares at me, says hi and straight out asks if we should get married. And he's walking with some poor woman who has to try awkwardly laughing it off and tell him that's a bit much.

I was just going to get groceries, but had put a ton of extra effort into my make-up because I felt insecure earlier today. It was not an invitation for guys to hit on me in creepy ways, I just wanted to cheer myself up. :::

Xia updates:

I'm a trans woman. Not non binary. Not a fruity guy. I told my partner who has been checking in weekly re: pronouns and she were basically like "really took your time there". Told some old friends and it went well. I assume everything is going fine for trans women? I've been out of the loop.

I had a haircut, the shortest in years, but now to my shoulders, looks great, and it's easier to wear down, I still can put it into a neat bun/undercut combo.

Last night I had a dream I was several years into a zombie apocalypse and I met an old work colleague who was at a fortified hospital looking for a cure, she was like "hey by the way, I heard you are woman, congrats" and we hugged as zombies battered on the boarded windows.

It really feels like the average terfs conception of trans woman is just like…The Rock in a wig.

Meanwhile I’m like…shorter than my wife’s mother and can’t even lift 50 pounds.

::: spoiler bottom surgery posting Fuck, I love having a vagina so much, ya’ll. I ain’t even the type to wear leggings much, but just being able to without anything getting in the way sounds like bliss.

Can’t wait to be able to go on my first run, but that will certainly be a ways off. :::

You’re telling me an average height girl Friday’d this rice!?

::: spoiler horny posting AND dysphoria posting oh the absolute utter agony of needing to be fucked in a hole you literally don't have is a pain i would hesitate to wish on my worst enemies :::

i might look for some neopronouns to replace he/him... it's not quite right, i think. like the vibes of a man rnt rly what im going for. idk

I FUCKING LOVE BITING

There was a bloke in a jacket at the trans rights protest today. Nothing else to report.

The way liberal cis women discuss a hypothetical "matriarchal world" reeks of binarist essentialism and cisheteronormative naivety. It really often is just "more female war criminals" shit. When you have people who don't actually understand how systems of oppression work discuss their frustrations with said systems of oppression, they end up inadvertently promoting oppression in the process of these discussions.

I have a paper due in 1 weeks time. I keep telling myself, FINISH THE FUGGING PAPER THEN YOUR DEGREE IS PRACTICALLY DONE. YOU CAN SPEND THE REMAINING TIME CHILLING AND GIRLIFYING.

But still, the bed is so much warmer than my study desk.

If i had a nickel for every time i fall for a woman who can give absolutely incredible amounts of affection and care, but struggles to receive and accept being loved due to past trauma, i'd have two nickels. Which isn't much, but it's funny that it happened twice and by funny i mean i wanna strangle the one that did this to her so badly rn.

Playing make believe every night with my plushies, I'm the captain and their my crew but instead of a ship at sea it's a train since I rather not convince myself again I got sea sickness.

Going out to dinner with wife’s parents.
Didn’t have time to put on makeup; hopefully I’m not too ugly

Getting the urge to be more visibly queer actually, if I'm gonna be disappeared in my forsaken country for being too brown might as well go out on my own terms

::: spoiler life update I'm still gay :::

Excellent haul at the thrift store today. I am still too self-conscious to try out clothes, so I got lucky: everything fits well! Got a couple plain color t-shirts with varying necklines, a yellow shrug, some flannels, and this really cute Torrid purple plaid blousey midi dress that fits perfectly.

wearing leggings

having to tuck

it's friday rice

feeling weird about sexuality tbh

down with cis

Who keeps the cisgender down?

While we are beeping around?

WE DOOOOOOOOOO, WE DOOOOOOOOO

holy FUCK girls are SO FUCKING pretty

My wife is judging how much moisturizer I use

I've had 3 trans friends in my city tell me about being publicly harassed this week alone, and like don't get me wrong it happens all the time but damn it really feels like it's getting more and more frequent 😮‍💨

I am obligated, as a lesbian, to click on this video every time it shows up on my feed

I love my wife, Tails.

::: spoiler cw: transphobia transmasc friend had two different dates with bi girls who both had issues with him being pre-op, one even had the audacity to label him as afab. is the bisexuality in the room with us right now? also fuck cis people using agab language, it's just inclusive misgendering :::

up with trans

Good News, soldiers. We are winning.

Might buy the accursed Amazon skirt since no online retailer has decent ones.

The News Mega is winning

my tits have been looking a lot bigger recently even if i haven't really feel them grow. is quitting drinking helping with that? idk, maybe

Incredibly cute plant, what is it?

If I was trans I just wouldn’t let people discriminate against me duh

::: spoiler cw si

God my brain really doesnt like me lateley. I just feel like theres no point to anything, there is only pain and downward mobility ahead. I wasnt made for this world and i want to leave now. Its days like today that are the reason i dont own a gun, but days like today make me want one so bad.

On top of that i just feel broken. I cant be truly vulnerable with anyone. Its all fake. I can never let anyone see their actions caused me pain because that will cause them pain (thanks for that non-traumatic long term trauma mom). But pretending that they dont hurt me will just end in me eating a 12ga.

:::

Edit: im feeling a bit better now

At the dentist with my dad since he's having a root canal today, he just went in now I have to exist in public for a while

Taking the Wariopill, gonna be waa-ing, gonna be eating more raw garlic, gonna be throwing around people like ragdolls, gonna be making my friends help me make games. Once I get this going gonna be taking over the manosphere

My wife keeps doing my injections in a way that makes my leg hurt

My boobs are still barely boobs but they’re bigger than they’ve ever appeared and I can’t look away 🥹

One of my old nursing profs invited me to a research project and told her advisor I'm a "dear colleague" awwww 🥹

Kissing would probably be so cool if I could figure out how to do it

awwwwwrrruf :3

americans are henceforth banned from the netherlands if they have a channel centred around urbanism. find another country

Bit idea: masochist who takes estrogen for the booba pain

My ability to do anything gender or otherwise is tanking hard these days all I want to do is not exist for a while

Preparing for my first real date today (as well as potentially a lot of other firsts) please send me your energy/support, as I am super excited but also really nervous.

Email subject line: BWW is hiring.

Big Womanly Woman wants me in the kitchen

i was complaining last week that my tits haven't been hurting much and i was scared they stopped growing

OUCH OOF OWIE i guess they listened

gonna try to do self care shit I've been putting off through sheer willpower today

Why is my how I see my own face so volatile compared to how I see everyone else's?

Like, to my perception other people look mostly the same all the time, but angle and lighting completely changes how happy I am with my own face. Makes me worried I'm actually abnormally ugly and when I'm not seeing that it's just cope

::: spoiler transphobia, misgendering

UGH

got misgendered three times at work today

which is a number i haven't hit in a long ass time

i hate everything and want to kill people with my bare hands :::

I guess this answers my question from the other day

We are beating the News Mega

Wife left me on read

Just got perma banned from some sub fpr telling a mod that "incoherent removed"(the fascist eugenicist term starting with "d") is not a good term to use for banning any kind of sexual content. Oh well, was my first comment in like 4 years anyway. Reminder why I stopped last time. Got spoiled by hexbear.

I have recently become aware of a most cursed study from 2018 concerning willingness to date trans people.

::: spoiler transmisogyny

Sample of just over a hundred lesbians found the demographic was more willing to incongruently date trans men than have a congruent attitude towards trans and cis women regarding their sexuality.

DOI is 10.1177/0265407518779139

:::

::: spoiler Happy I can go days without shaving and not see facial hair :::

::: spoiler Sad I can still feel it tho :::

sigh :c

::: spoiler mental health, addiction mention was so stressed and burned out earlier I was seriously considering relapsing and going on a bender but didn't

want to stay sober but feel so dejected by everything lately I kinda just wanna get fucked up and am having a harder and harder time trying to convince myself against that

painfully lonely and unhappy with where I am in my life rn and I have a hard time imagining things getting better for me anytime soon

I think I'm always gonna be alone and unhappy with my body and I don't know what to do about that :::

social skills died.

::: spoiler kind of embarrassing Okay so you know the "10 second" rule, if someone can't fix something quickly don't point it out? Big fan. Good to not bring up things a lot of the time. However there's something that has been driving me nuts for a while now and I finally fixed, but I feel like someone could have said something a while ago I understand why no one did but its kinda embarrassing, all this time and it just genuinely didn't click with me... anyway I look and feel a lot better now. :::

::: spoiler CW drug mention why does every drug taste bad :::

If gender was a food ::: spoiler spoiler Idk but people need to respond to me, I got rid of my upbear count so the only engagement I see is people responding to my comments 😭 anyway respond with your favorite food and I'll associate that with your gender going forward :::

What flavor?

The News Mega has surpassed us

Found out I have an iron deficiency, very girl coded

Smithers: "They do have an excellent LGBT policy."

Mr. Burns: "What's that stand for, Lazy Goof-off Buffoons? And Transgender."

Being a bad influence to kids by sitting with bad posture in public

i wore a swimsuit for the first time last night

it was at this day spa thing with my partner and her mum, i wore a one piece with a swim skirt over the top which hid pretty much anything i was concerned about. i was hella anxious about getting clocked/weird looks but none of that happened (or if it did, it was too subtle for me to notice)

Going around with leaves and flowers in my hair is a type of gender probably. I'm the only one in my family who's tall enough that my head hits an archway we made of plants so I just go around town with some of them in my hair unless someone points it out

hello all

My bedtime is utterly fucked, 4 hours of sleep tonight maybe less because I'm a dummy

I gotta buy a car. I fuckin hate going in there to that den of thieves and vipers and grifters, do the whole fucking show and dance, waste 4 hours or more on bullshit only to be given a quote that's just gonna rip me off, pretend the salesman has to beg for a better deal with a manager, only to have them come back with another bull shit offer and then just walk the fuck away from this stupid fucking bull shit without a car but at least not ripped off

by outperforming the news mega we're proving that Nothing Ever Happens

I got my book of spells staring at me but I'm too lazy to get any of the ingredients to do any of them. So much power at my hands yet it's tempered by my weak follow through.

Saw a job posting I actually want which I have the qualifications for, time for a couple of weeks of excited joy before inevitable disappointment

I've been getting gendered a lot more at work recently. Not gendered correctly, but just gendered more. I've been getting more "ma'am"s and "sir"s and honestly i really prefer not getting gendered to the mix of the two

So the job I'm working this summer is the first one that I'm actually out as myself for, and omg I was not expecting to get euphoria from a god damn work email having my name of all things

im so starved for content on this crackship that im going for fics that i would usually only read the first paragraph of before passing i just need an update, pls bro just one more update then ill be ok just 2k words more pls sis

::: spoiler dysphoria

want to get a full body waxing

too terrified of that interaction to do it

:::

Half my coworkers are perimenopausal, some have radical hysterectomies. We're all on estrogen (even me~). We talked about premarin and I mentioned the scythian cult-thing that drank pregnant mare's urine like 4000 years ago, they thought it was cool. Rural women

I tell my friends and family I love them! Yall probably should too (if you do love them lol)

what the fuck is a jelly bean

::: spoiler weed, medical anxiety

Have a followup appointment for my hand and am nervous about it

Wake and bake and got Too High and now I'm nervous about that too

I have bamboozled myself :::

got given my granddad's 40 year old jade and it's in really bad condition

Orange soda should be soda not juice!

Trans mega stay winning 😤😤😤

I'm 17 months on E, and while I've had /some/ growth (and I'm pretty happy with it) I'm kinda getting the feeling now that my boobs are taking a run up? I guess I'll see if this comes to anything 🤷‍♀️

Scheduling is hell. Abolish time.

pirated oblivion remastered and having a good time playing it with gf. the game passed me by back in the day and i don't think i could ever get past the look/art style of the original so this is ideal for me tbh. obviously wouldn't pay money for it but kinda glad it exists?

I bought another gay little St Sebastian medallion last week on a whim. I'm not even past or present catholic. Or Christian or religious. I just like many queer people through history think he's neat.

I bought it online from the Vatican shop, I know in hindsight giving money to the catholic church ugh.

They have an option where it's blessed by the Pope (no extra cost lol). Now obviously he doesn't do them individually, they just slap boxes of stuff down in the square when he blesses everyone and everything twice weekly.

And I was like sure why not, Pope might die soon. They slapped that crate out in the square Sunday, he blessed the square and then he died Monday.

So now I'll have my gay little medallion blessed by the Pope the last time he did it. And I think it's neat from an experiencing history point of view.

you're telling me an apple bottomed those jeans?

Today, I took a little sneak peek at the knitting group I’m about to join. Was only there for about an hour, just saying hello to everyone and getting familiar with the rules there.

And fucking wow! Everyone there was so damn nice.

I was fully expecting things to be quite awkward, because "intruding" into a community where everyone else already knows each other usually is, but they were really forthcoming towards me.

So, yay! I finally get to be more social again after distancing myself from others for so long.

It just takes 15 seconds to post in trans mega

::: spoiler dysphoria Incredibly self conscious over how deep my voice is right now :::

Can you mail each hexbear user a jellybean to propogate so that next year's harvest will be even more bountiful?

want to paint my nails

don't know what color to choose

a time traveler from the future just popped out of their time machine at me but instead of taking me to the future to drink their instant girl potion medicine that they have they just laughed at me and threw rocks at me and said "go buy some more funko pops stupid 21st century peasant. do one of your tiktok dances!" and then left

they are plotting to murder me because i simply said "i fart my ass" on the airwaves

someone tried to kill me while i slept because i bought a 30 second radio spot in which i repeated the phrase "i pee my ass"

does anyone have any ideas for stuff i could do in my singleplayer minecraft? i'm trying to take it slow because normally i would play very min-maxy and beeline the end and stuff, but now that i have enchanting setup and plenty of diamonds i need ideas for stuff to work on that isn't just "beat the game". can be anything from a basic build to an automated farm or nonsensical contraption, or a more abstract goal. love all my trans comrades and glad to see the megas starting to pop off again!

also look how cute my UI is, i love vanilla tweaks!

I would love to see a “Down The Rabbit Hole” style video on the downfall of JK Rowling. Once a beloved children’s author, and then a meme known for constant retcons, and then annoying political commentator, and finally a vicious transphobe.

my partner got me a silver Star of Ishtar it is very nice.

Breakfast friday rice

Dinner friday rice

Midnight snack friday rice

All Rice All Friday

tipper gore is a way cooler name than she deserved

Sonic 2 just don’t hit the same as Sonic 1

check if my nails are dry
they aren't (and now one is fucked)

Many such cases, unfortunate.

Do not understand people into selfcest.
How would that even work?…who would make the first move?

beep

me talking to my wife about plants

I want to write my thesis (actual masters thesis btw, serious bussiness) about trans people in media (maybe specifically videogames), but i don't have a solid idea yet and i thought i'd ask you all something. What do you think about representation of trans people in media lately? Any good examples that you'd like to share? Any bad ones? What do you think about videogames as a trans person? Have there been any developments that made you feel more included or represented in videogames (or other media)?

You can just say whatever, I just wanna get a feel from asking this, no need to write too much.

edit: Should I make a dedicated post for this?

::: spoiler cw meeting people from apps and communication issues because texting sucks

I hate texting. Its a terrible medium for getting to know someone. Always worrying if im being to blunt/direct or not blunt/direct enough... Never able to gauge the others reaction accurately... Anyway check back in tomorrow to see if ive completely fumbled things with this femme impact top. Shes hot chat, shes cool and bikes around to bookshops! Heres hoping my dry ass texting didnt turn her off the idea of some pickup play together.

::: spoiler dysphoria

want to wear a sundress

legs look bad and I'd stick out badly in public

:::

oblivion is fun despite being the worst game ever made

I tried to do my eyeliner today and failed miserably I just want to be pretty and hot tonight (im going to a show) but instead my eyes are angry at me

Starting to reach the point of "Just enough mods" with my Cyberpunk 2077 set.

Now to look into this 2500+ clothing mods category to get the good shit.

Watching the flintstones movie made me realize how hard gender must have been back in the day, oh you wanna put on some foundation gotta pull out your 40 lbs stone compact from your 100 lbs bag you carry around. Some of y'all would not make it but I'm built different.

::: spoiler CW: General Queerphobia, Doomposting. Simultaneously I am and am not looking forward to pride month this year.

On one hand I'm me (yay!) and I feel great about myself (woohoo!) and I should have time to actually attend events this year (wheee!).

On the other hand it would be the perfect time for DonnyDon and his crew to bring the hammer down on us during what is supposed to be a time to celebrate queer resilience. I half expect to find out they had been holding on to the spiciest E.O.s for june, just to rub it in a bit more.

Bleh. :::

Boomers complained about millineals being pure instant gratification and then zoomers come along over correcting by coming up with the term gooning. We really love in a spectacled society

Yo. The Boobfairy visited last night!

I gots ma nails done for the first time today!!

Head empty - tikki takki tikki takki 💅💅💅 🤤

Trying my best not to think how much my water bottle is like a sippy cup, I'm an adult it's just I don't like spilling my water everywhere

these aren't jelly beans you goon

i will now be enforcing reddiquette within this thread

I DID SO MUCH TODAY AND IM STILL UNDERSTIMULATED WTF

Wow I have changed so much over the past year. And not in the way I wanted to. I've gone through some real awful shit, I came pretty close to dying, I've tried to decide who I am and what I want to do with my life. Shits been crazy. The main thing I've realised is that I'm so young. I'm 22, I don't need to know everything yet.

Update: still understimulated and fucking wired like so goddamn.up but incapable of doing anything. I hate my brain i hate my brain make my brain be normal please

I have been sitting on my sofa writing an essay incredibly slowly without moving or having a real night of sleep (I've been napping at least don't worry) for the past 4 days and yet I am feeling nothing but joy about it right now. Why does Hegel do this to my brain. Why am I such a junkie for deliberately seeking out the hardest shit I can find to think about. Why is writing this essay genuinely so much fun.

Spent past my bed time chatting with a new friend and now I'm paying the consequences, still need to get my morning cardio in before I can sleep

i swear i've written and deleted a dozen posts in the last few weeks but we need to beat the news mega so i thought i'd try to push through today

::: spoiler drug talk i've been feeling pretty out of whack since i stopped weed and started ritalin. i definitely feel like i'm functioning better day-to-day but my anxiety has been through the roof. i was able to go 6 weeks without any weed or alcohol and i think that might be the longest i've been sober in 5 years ~yayy~. i had the normal withdrawal symptoms like insomnia and loss of appetite but all that calmed down around week 4

i also mentioned having more frequent dizziness to my psych and he told me to check my HR with my GP and brought up the possibility of POTS (which after looking into, looks like i have most the symptoms of). at the appointment my GP kinda just brushed off the POTS thing and took my heart rate which was 150bpm. she said we'd check again in 4 weeks and if it's still high probably reduce my medication. that freaked me tf out and made me buy a heart rate tracker to try to self-monitor. fingers crossed i can keep my meds cause they've been so goddamn helpful :::

::: spoiler fun stuff (also drugs) so i've been taking some time off work and last week made my first open source contribution (using a language i haven't used before) . definitely felt a lot better than the normal start side-project -> ditch it a few days later routine that i'm used to, especially since it's an app i use regularly

also just started using a hair diffuser since realising that i got wavy hair. along with that, my hair is finally long enough to tie up into a ponytail! and holy jesus fuck it looks so hot now, i don't know what to do

and to celebrate Weed Easter, we had a friend stay over on the weekend. we got really high, talked a bunch, i lost my voice, we went to the cinema to watch Flow, cried a bit, went home, got high again, watched ISTTVG, i cried a lot, we played mario party and ate lots of chocolate, then friend went home the next day. it was a really good time but damn i remembered how much i like to . oh well restarted the sobriety streak on Monday, maybe i can go longer than 6 weeks this run :::

I hate what's been happening in the UK recently but in a weird way it's pushed me to move forward in my transition, out of spite as much as anything else

If system 32 is so great how about I delete it and upgrade to system 33

Bi pride nail polish acquired and applied.

::: spoiler cw sex

Talking to a femme impact top... Shes hot chat, i hope it works out ^^

I'm the joker but woke, the worker baby -

Post-poned some chores during easter, and today I have enough energy to feel like I should catch up, but not quite enough energy to get myself to do them

for every book I finish, I must acquire 3 or 4 more. This is a natural law of the universe

drinking a room temp hard seltzer.... it's not good, but also not as bad as I expected 🤔

I like how one of the first mods they dropped for Oblivion Redux was removal of the raytracing and the game runs insanely better and looks less like trash. This recent trend with doing stupid effects shit instead of just focusing on like 4k textures or whatever is such a waste.

I'm interviewing for a new job, its probably going to be a casual position in a different city. I'm doing it because, I gotta get the fuck outta here by August (this town drives me crszy) and also because I have an in there and they liked me when I was a student. I'm gonna end up being a crazy person who picks up shifts a 5 hour drive away only to then turn around and go back home to my full time job yeach

cod waw single player campaign is underrated tbh

If I'm good (i'm actually terrible) at impressions and accents does this mean voice training is easier?

I have to stop waking up at like noon, but I feel kind of sick

Does dreaming that me and my wife are BL manga protagonists say something about my gender identity? Or am I totally hecking valid and fujoshi-ing out?

Went to a show last night that fucking killllleeeedddddd they were so good!

TikTok has picked up on my loneliness and keeps giving me ads for dating apps and holy shit there are a ton of these things. I've had it push like half a dozen different ones in the last day or so. I hadn't heard of any of these, why are there so many f#cking apps

My neighbour’s alarm clock has been ringing for over half an hour straight now, and it’s SO DAMN loud.

Who needs sleep anyway?

I love the complexity of my own self determined identity, & how my experiences have defined that determination.

1000 comments is within our reach comrades

my PS4 is a time capsule to 2019 😵‍💫

I don't like how most of my life lessons have come from video games and media, like I do have a life debatable but it's just so easy to say this reminds me of one of my video games

Playing dark souls 2 again the only way I know how, killing everything until it stops respawning. No skill just patience, if the developers didn't want me to do this then it wouldn't be an option

::: spoiler weed zaza got me buying a sickle from an antique store because I think it's neat then going home and getting so stoned I forgot how to untie my shoes for a minute then put my sweatpants on backwards

:::

Luckily my work's internet doesn't block ao3 yet

I did a photoshoot today and im simultaneously really happy with the images and absolutely hate them.

89-0 in Enlisted as USA vs Nazi Germany

onto weightlifting

Trying to figure out what's the next scary unknown will be so I can anticipate what the next spiderman origin will be, first radiation then genetic, then quantum stuff. Maybe we'll get communism or gender as the capital hedgemony unravels for how the spider bite works next time

::: spoiler exercise

I can see and feel the muscle growth all over my body now in a noticeable way

Incredible feeling to be able to flex my arms and feel a firm bicep, got me sicko yesing irl :::

I like to think it's my high empathy stat but when my sibling feels achy and bloaty from period stuff so do I. I keep myself in good enough shape otherwise so I don't think it just me. Either way some caffeine on hand helps

Buying communist literature secondhand so my shelf passes every spine check even if i don’t read it

let it be the 1000th one happy birthweek @Eco@hexbear.net

::: spoiler more dysphoria posting i got super jealous of my cis female coworker because of her body and thought "ah, it's been too long since i've gotten super gender envious, hasn't it? i've been missing this emotion for a bit" and then got super fucking dysphoric again :::

So I recently switched from once weekly estrogen patches to twice weekly ones. There was some overlap with the scripts, leaving me with some of both and so I had an utterly brilliant idea friday. What if I put BOTH on, then that would like... feel good right? Because if estrogen equals good, then more estrogen equals most gooder! I am such a smarticle!

Yeah so I slept until 1pm yesterday, spent the whole day in a state of totally incoherent frustration. I was very bitchy and cried myself to sleep. The crying part being highly abnormal.

I yoinked off the smaller of the patches this morning, having learned why we don't fuck with our horomones all willy nilly.

Comrades, how have your weekends been?

a lot of old comic dialogue is just kinda like

[Exclaimation]! [Recalling of events leading up to current situation/information that would suggest current situation is unlikely to happen], [Explanation of current situation]! [Explanation of what current situation implies]!!!

::: spoiler sex toy questions I recently got out of a relationship and the other night I ordered a basic starter dildo. Is there anything in particular I should know about maintenance and cleaning? Like what kind of environment is best to keep it in, are certain kinds of lube damaging to the dildo, are there best cleaning practices, do I need special cleaner or will soap do just fine? Thanks in advance! :::

I'm like so close to modding daggerfall now but then comes the hard part of continuing to play it after I get the mods I want. Can't say how many times I went out of my way to mod something only to abandon it, only time I stuck through was adventure 1 and 2.

::: spoiler sad-posting It's really hard to project "badass butch bitch" when I clearly am terminally in the "girlie who perpetually needs a hug" club :::

Is there a way to get rid of the adhesive residue from patches that doesn't irritate the skin? Patches have been a happy medium between pills and injections for me (cause stabbing myself with a metal spike was too scary ), but this is kinda annoying.

Pistol grip forend Thompson with a stick magazine instead of drum is gender AF.

It's Friday strong chance this mega will get to 1000+ comments. No time to rest in any laurels gotta keep posting

Fell asleep listening to some death metal, feeling refreshed rn

Found this emoji just now beauty

Stood outside in the rain just underwear for a bit with my hair down since it's one of those days, felt very witchy if I keep it up I might get a could but might also get my queer magic finally come in.

::: spoiler dysphoria feelin' real gross :::

@gaystyleJoker@hexbear.net i would like to sign up to maybe make a megathread some time? :)

Saluting while listening to Learn From Lei Feng's Good Example

::: spoiler exercise

The 1000th comment in this mega better be something silly

I hope I don’t accidentally make the 1000th comment, that would be embarrassing

Love my trans comrades ♡

My phone's text thing always has the pleading emoji ready for me 🥺, if no one else has my back the predictive text thing does

No thoughts go through my head as I eat my oatmeal just bit of background radiation of sweater song by Weezer

Need to mention here I got ma'am through text alone. I normally get that on the phone but that was a new one, it is misgendering but beats being called man or sir since I'm

Played silent Hill 2 for the first time (PS2 version emulated) it's real good and scary. Still shaken a bit and it might affect my dreams but worth it

When you’re on 2 different types of estrogen call that stereotherapy

Considering going back to use the men's bathroom at work because the auto flush sensors in the women seem to be over calibrated.

::: spoiler negativity I hate this shit. I feel like I'm dying. Like the life is/has been sucked out of me. :::

got a question about HRT injections

are you supposed to pierce the stopper at the same spot every time, or go for a different spot each time?

Cozy in the lotus eater machine

Why don't they make cars without the big fuckin tablet console. I don't want the console. I don't even really like power windows or lane keeping but whatever I'll take those. But grab that fuckin tablet out of a car. I told the sales gal that I wanted as few features as possible and that my last car was from 2012 and that started getting some annoying computer stuff.

Sertraline my beloved

The jelly beans look delicious

The PS3 version of adventure 1 isn't terrible but I think the main drawback is lack of wide screen support. adventure 2 is much better I find in this aspect not to mention over battle it retains Big the Cat cameos. These ports often get malinged but outside of these two issues I still think they're good

Martinellis Sparkling Apple Juice is one of life's greatest pleasures

The gay vs British bit from Yu-Gi-Oh abridged will forever remain in my psyche. Also pog Yu-Gi-Oh is being autocorrected in my phone

bit about the banks molesting the money is so real, made a deposit and the atm at the bank just ate it. Gonna go in on monday angry and see what they are gonna do about it

Orange juice is mid, the weakest of all the fruit juices

I keep getting creepy spam calls that when I answer just has an woman ai voice that says "Good bye" twice I answered and got this

Trying to find code snippets I know I have somewhere but no idea where (I haven't learned git)

music monday - watcha listening to???

here's my collage - glad to not have to listen to any more weezer, but i'm instead now listening to lots of king gizzard with friends :)

my ratings so far for those curious:

• 12 bar bruise - 5.9/10
• eyes like the sky - 3/10
• float along - fill your lungs - 8/10

I've had so much trouble shopping for this specific nail polish since a lot of shades are either exclusive to a specific retailer or sold out from my local stores. However, finally found the shades I need to complete both trans pride and bi pride colors.

Super racing is an amazing song for HIIT, it has it lulls to rest but you hear "everybody super racing, try to keep your feet right the ground" you give it all you got. Keep this on loop and you too can become a super racer

All the mention of elder scrolls been looking into daggerfall unity, is free and my laptop can handle it so gonna figure out that later when I'm done with some stuff today

I keep my phone at arms length when I message someone and see them typing, I'm such a dumb child sometimes as if the phone will hurt me lmao

Two nights in a row I dreamt now of getting it due with me helping with this, sadly no more X dreams

Was staring at my folders for a while as elder scrolls music was playing looking for where my daggerfall files were only to realize I forgot to install daggerfall. Cart before the horse and all too busy wanting to mod daggerfall I forgot I need to install daggerfall

:screm-a:

Got back into JoJo part 6, I forgot how confusing this show is. ::: spoiler spoiler I thought FF was gonna die they better not :::

just survived another assassination attempt, this time for claiming james gandolfini was dead of IBS...

i was recently killed and resuscitated after an assassination attempt... all i did was take out an ad in the wall street journal announcing that "i fart my ass"... why are people so cruel

::: spoiler spoiler Thinking about hrt and stuff last night. About a week out from being able to get it. And I will, to at least have it in case. But I am too scared to start. Too scared to come out too. And too much of a miserable loser to live on my own. Should just give up. Its not worth living as a shell of a "man" and I am just too scared to do anything else.

tbh for a long time I thought depression was what was going to do me in. Nope, its fear. I think the depression still feels worse though. :::

Go speed racer, go speed racer, ho speed racer gooooo!

I made it out of the first dungeon in daggerfall, I feel exhausted but satisfied. Now I'm in Daggerfall the city this is the furthest I ever got. My love for this game starts now

Keep posting in the hope I'm the 1000th comment, I need something going for me today

Need to find some canned vegan food or something, I do miss the convenience of like sardines or tuna (minus all the Mercury) tins around I can dump into some rice with veggies. Closest quick thing I found once was like these packets of miso soup you just added into hot water

::: spoiler more spider nightmares So right after having a nightmare involving really fucked up goat spiders, what do I have to find right on top of my bed? The same spider that managed to elude me yesterday, which probably gave me those nightmares to begin with.

Of course being the little arachnophobic coward that I am, I immediately jumped back and had to regain my composure before daring to take another look. But it was gone.

After removing all of my plushies and the heavy mattress that I can barely lift (fully anticipating getting attacked while I was in a vulnerable state), I took care of the spider I found underneath. Now the problem is: I’m not sure if its the same one.

I’ve now been playing detective, using the cobwebs it left behind to trace back its path, but the results are not satisfying at all.

I’m really not looking forward to the next couple of nights. :::

Getting shadowbanned and being sent to the shadow realm is basically the same thing

Date tonight has to be rescheduled due to my date being under the weather. Was really looking forward to it, but also feeling a bit of relief since I have also been really tired this week and I have a lot to do at work today. I still have a busy weekend with two other dates, so not going to be lacking. I'd like to say that I'm never going to overstack my schedule like this again, but that would be a lie.

Left auto play on for Hasan content and it affected my dreams

::: spoiler spoiler NSFW kinda Dreamt I saw the X vid, I won't get too vivid but jerma was :::

Also dreamt I nuked the US since I was a DBZ character

Found a packet of blooming green tea I got forever ago, gonna have to look through my kitchen for my fancy glass pitcher with the base for the candle later if I want to do it justice

Daggerfall unity is good, Haven't figured out more mods but this base unity fixes are good. Been spending an hour in the first dungeon though running away from enemies as they either kill themselves or I ambush them

Making people angry on is good not gonna say owning the libs but it damn feels like that

Got the team chaotix team on repeat in my head this morning. I get those search and destroy missions get a bad rep but I liked them. I do miss them having a role in stories honestly thought them saving the day in shadow 05 was great. Shame they didn't appear in anything afterward where they weren't just Sonic's friends Tm

Someone familiar with elder scrolls tell me which elder scrolls is the dark souls of elder scrolls pls. For reference I've only played daggerfall