Can someone write up a short guide for getting monero for diy hrt? The previous one went poof

hi, does anyone wanna make the mega in the upcoming weeks? if so, reply to this post and i'll add you to the list!

the list as it stands:

Carcharodonna (3/10 - 3/16)
yewler (3/17 - 3/23)
GayTuckerCarlson* (3/24 - 3/30)
oscardejarjayes* (3/31 - 4/6)
JohnBrownsBussy2  (4/7 - 4/13)
peanutbuttercupola (4/14 - 4/20 (weed))
Eco* (4/21 - 4/27)
EstraDoll* (4/28 - 5/4)

AshenWolf* (5/19 - 5/25)
AshenWolf* (6/2 - 6/8)

​ * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters

Gonna try to touch grass because the bearsite isn't really helping me mentally. Hope y'all have a good one, if I come back I'll be on a new account, thanks for being nice to me yall

Being a woman is the best. 10/10 would gender again. Looking in the mirror and seeing a cute person is such a splendid experience. My little flip flop from being borderline embarrassed at people seeing me in public to genuinely happy to look at myself in the mirror was shockingly fast. It felt like it happened in the blink of an eye, but I know it's been a process.

I don't actually think I've changed a whole lot visually. I think it's mostly a mind game. I think it's just a significantly increases confidence

I'm so much happier with my own existence than I ever thought I'd be. Starting on this journey is absolutely one of the best things I've ever done for myself, and I'm so happy I didn't let the fear of other people stop me.

I also feel like I'm slowly starting to allow myself to have a personality, and I'm excited to see where that goes. I've met her before, but I'd really love to see her out more

::: spoiler wherein yewler recounts possible transphobic discrimination and how it led to her receiving probably the biggest compliment she's ever received. She spoilers this partially out of embarrassment and partially due to a personal inability to say a positive thing about herself without feeling the need to apologize. She closes with a call to action to stand up to the beepers that threaten the tranquillity of this space

There's an ongoing situation in my life that I'm tentative about sharing many details about here. I'd pretty much resigned myself to it at this point, but one of my professors asked to speak to me after class yesterday and told me he thinks there was foul play with regards to my being transgender and that with my permission he'd talk to some people to try and get it fixed. He said I was the best student he's had in his 40 year career.

He emailed someone and copied me on it, and I cried reading it. It occurred to me reading it that the person he's emailing is someone I've never met, and who didn't know I existed until this email. And the email reads like I'm just a woman in an unfortunate situation. I read the word "she" and just broke down. This is a person who knows my name and who I know for a fact doesn't see me as anything less than a woman. And that's so beautiful to me.

I feel so cared about by my professor. He messes up my pronouns fairly regularly but apologizes when he catches himself. Says it's cause he's old and forgetful (he's about to retire). I think he proofread the email specifically for gender errors which makes me feel super good.

Anyway, enough of that. The boop army should join me in rising up against the beepers

:::

Boobs are starting to appear

::: spoiler surgery I got a vasectomy this morning and have been watching Severance all day and I just realized how funny that is :::

Bought another blouse and cardigan
Hopefully they fit well and don’t make me look like shit

Bought clothes and realizing I accidentally made an I Love Amy cosplay

Wishing for a fatter ass before blowing out the candles and eating the entire birthday cake by yourself

Goodbye, trans mega hosting

Oh how the year went by

My bike got stolen :(

In other news, I came out to my dad, who was the last person. So now I'm out out. It went about as garbage as I expected but I do actually feel better now. I don't really care what that man thinks and it feels realllllly good to not feel like I'm hiding such a giant part of myself from anyone

Less than a month till bottom surgery!

got my last laser session for the foreseeable future today

down with cis

I ain't gonna lie... I'm thinking about her 24/7, I'm waiting for her to text me when we're not texting, I'm super jumpy and excited when we are texting, and I'm feeling incredibly warm and gushy when I look back at our old texts.

I've been saying, really, that it's just a little silly crush that'll be over soon enough, and I hope that it's the case, but I really wouldn't be shocked if my heart keeps growing and growing and growing to a point where I can confidently say that I [l-word] her.

Another thing that scares me is that it would be a long-distance relationship, which one could make work... but I'm just handling things as I go for now.

The best way for me to interpret this situation is to be positive about it and be happy knowing that I have a person to go crazy over. That in and of itself is fun.

Found so many worms today

::: spoiler dysphoria/health problems/mental health /family shit REALLY bleak and sad sorry

Already terrified for hand surgery

Got billing estimate

Immediately terrified of how fucked I am financially and how much of a stupid piece of shit I am for putting myself in this situation just because of not being able to keep my shit together and my piece of shit dad for getting me to the point where I snap

Overwhelmed by all the pre appointments forms and financial assistance form shit

Have to fill them out

On every one of them, have to see "name:(DEADNAME), sex:M" over and over and over

Break down and cry

I've ruined my fucking life and it wasn't ever even really me and I feel like I've wasted my whole life and even if I got it together right now, it's too late and I'll just be in debt and working shitty jobs the rest of my miserable life

I don't know how I'm making it through this

Two mistakes having meltdowns from situations I never should've had to deal with in the first place and now I'm completely fucked for the foreseeable future

Too bad you can't pay medical bills in tears :::

Lol I've cried 3 times in the past 2 weeks. That's more than I'd cried in the 2 years before that. I think I've found my threshold for what gets me to cry to be a lot lower than it's been in the past. In the past I would only cry when I was devastated and I hated feeling like I could never get anything out when it wasn't something severe. It's nice finding myself crying about things and then actually feeling better afterwards? Like I've actually gotten the feelings out?

Holy shit I got cute lil microboobs!

Australia sucks, but I think I have had the most frictionless experience accessing HRT I've ever heard of online (outside of out of pocket cost which was okay like around a hundred dollars gap fees and private meds cost).

I made an appointment with a GP who does informed consent HRT prescription, chatted for a while, then I did a blood test and got a consent form to take home to peruse. I came back 3 weeks later and got the prescription. And it's for 100mg spironolactone and 4mg oestrogen which I understand is a real amount, not homeopathy.

Oh yeaha

I'm just gonna start dressing like a lesbian and see if that makes me like girls again

The Hexbear trans mega commune is coming. All we need is $700,000 to get everything up and running. We've already done the hard part, thinking, now we just need the money

hey who the FUCK is miss gender and why do trans people hate her so much?

got too catty with a customer who misgendered me today and my manager had to give me the very disappointed "girl don't do that" talk to me

i avoided any real trouble but still

Almost got cold feet, but went to the party, and had a lot of fun. I bought a round for the birthday girl, met a ton of trans people, and looked cute doing it!

::: spoiler CW: transphobia There was also an incident during the night where a transphobe was harassing us. I couldn't hear what he was saying and accidentally complemented his hoodie, which I guess disarmed him and got him to leave us alone. :::

Got egg vibes from this person at the pokemon go meetup but couldnt think of why, went home and saw they added me as a friend on there and their avatar is female

Don't know their actual pronouns yet and I won't out them by asking in front of people but im amazed at my ability to find the 2 other queer people in a group I've never been in before

I wore one of the dresses I thrifted today and it was pure magic

i came out as trans to my family this weekend and it went as positively as it could have gone :)

y'all have been such an amazing community though every step of my egg cracking over the last four years. i genuinely treasure this place

Nearly 2 years on estrogen, still no fangs. What gives? Give me fangs!

Happy womens day to those who celebrate

My hair is long enough to keep getting in mouth and its fucking annoying Feels good having it be so long though.

me usually: aw man, these spaghetti straps make my shoulders look massive and not femme at all

me today: aw hell yeah, these spaghetti straps make my shoulders look massive and butch as fuck

wtf I'm a cute girl with a cute gf I never thought that life could be this good

I've been staying at her house for the last week and almost forgot I passed 2 years on HRT, too

I miss Ashinadash and Magi they were such fun and powerful posters. I hope that they are doing okay.

I keep forgetting what day of the week it is for normal people. All I know is I have some days on some off and my phone tells me when to inject E.

So my work is still transphobic and shitty, and I am looking for a new job. However, in the meantime, my best friend started on Monday working with me. If I have to keep working here for the foreseeable future, at least I have an ally now. I mean, I really like the job. It pays well and I like the work. It's just industrial blue collar in the rural midwest. Which means around half my coworkers are your run of the mill chud.

I got a big girl official union meeting this week! I get paid from work to attend it, which is sweet. They're serving lunch yum 😎

They call you Mommy once and you just get stuck in Mommy mode apparently

It's very liberal of my boobs to slow down on doing their thing

My friendship with benefits ended a couple weeks ago and last week I started to set up a profile on bumble again. It’s nice writing and possibly even meeting new people, but at the same time online dating sucks so much. I know that a lot of trans people have it way worse and it feels nice to know that there are other people interested in me. But going through that same conversation with each one just to see if they really like me as a human being or just see me as a fetish object is so exhausting. And it really doesn’t help that my self-doubts push me heavily into seeking a cis-hetero man. I know that I will find someone who’s as nice as my ex-FWB. But this will take so much time and effort to get there again.

::: spoiler me gushin bout my life (cw dating, kink)

My date went so wellllll yesterday! It was so cute, she is so cool, and im so excited! We both want similar things (friends+playpartners) and shes so sweet and grounding! im gonna get my hair cut by her wife sometime soon, and next week were going on a picnic and then to a local multi-org meetup to talk about trans shit :vivian-joyous-love: and shes in a band! And we line up so well on kink stuff, we both want petplay and impact and service and fucking, and ive reached a point of trust with her that i can be excited for that, which is really nice

Gosh shes so cool

Happy to announce I actually got decent sleep for the first time in weeks and feel a lot better today

Like I'm still in pain and recovering and it's frustrating still but I feel amazing compared to yesterday, yesterday was fucking agonizing

Compared to that I'm on cloud nine now

Have some gender thought stuff about the hospital stay that galvanized some stuff internally for me that I might try to sort through later that might help other people here too? Idk if I'm ready to get into it though kinda still overwhelmed tbh

Right now I'm the living embodiment of

::: spoiler horny, sex, my genitals Estrogen is so fucking good (been on it like a year and a half), holy shit. Like before I'd bust and then that'd be it. Now I can orgasm again and again and again. It feels so good to vibe my dick. Topping feels great, bottoming feels great. Getting my prostate fingered, my nipples sucked, it's so fucking good.

Everything else in life is kinda shit right now, but at least sex is good. Can't believe he much I was missing out on pre-E

---

:::

I was reading code and saw HRT:LOAD-FOREIGN-LIBRARY, and really thats all hrt does. It takes the foreign library and loads it into your system ^^ i know the hrt here stands for "heart", but a girl can pretend

::: spoiler [Anti-Volcel] Okay, umm, so, we actually got into a casual conversation about s*x, and she was the one who led into it. We were just talking about preferences for relationships and whatnot, and she started by asking me if I'm monogamous and that kind of stuff. Eventually, when I said that I'm quite submissive, she called me cute for that and typed a few 👀 emojis afterwards.

omg omg omg IDK what is happening 😳😳😳😳 :::

::: spoiler cw sex

God this girl gets me so wet. She knows just how to touch me, not even sexually i mean, just like in general the way she does physical contact. She touches my back, or my arm, or my leg, and im instantly aroused and like, fucking moist

up with trans

I think as much as I like I don't think I can truly love him since he lives in LA, some things you just can't reconcile

my girlfriend is asleep, so

::: spoiler spoiler i love her, shhhhh dont tell her (she already knows (i told her a bunch today already)) :::

Hell yeah new trans mega smell freshly baked gender

Hi removeds on hexbear I'm drunk as fuck. Fuck in hell I haven't been drunk in a long time, I've been busy being high. Woweee my alcohol tolerance has plummeted

Sonc

Finally 100% completed THPS2X with my custom character and unlocked Spider-Man

🎵I give my life
Not for honor
But for youuuuuuuu🎶

New day, new attempt to get some fucking shitcoin to secure my estrogen supply for the future. At least I still have a few months before it becomes really urgent.

Oh my god dress go spinny

So I saw that My Chemical Romance was doing a show with 100 Gecs and the thought popped into my head: Could Gerard Way be trans? I was curious and did a little digging. It wasn’t long before I came across this thread (cw: link): https://www.reddit.com/r/MyChemicalRomance/comments/ycugh4/what_we_actually_know_about_gerards_gender_and/

Even if they aren’t trans, I think those comments are at the very least blatantly trans-positive and supportive of questioning gender which is always great.

Also, just gonna leave this here:

Started hrt three weeks ago today. Overall feeling very good and soft! The second week was kind of depressing but that's mostly gone away. In other news, everyone at work has been using my new name and it feels really nice

In any game with a customizable player character I will inevitably spend way too much time just sitting there positively overwhelmed by how wonderful and perfect and amazing my lady is

the enthusiastic ally to egg pipeline claims another

"merry LIBERAL CHRISTMAS" i say as I hand you a present wrapped in gluten free genders. Inside is several pictures of various women with dyed hair an undercuts with their neopronouns written underneath. "did DEI Claus get you any NON TRIGGERING presents this THEY/THEM year?" i ask genderly

::: spoiler dysphoria getting targeted ads for menstrual products is such a weird experience. On the one hand, yay the algorythm recognizes I'm a girl! that feels kinda good. on the other hand it reminds me of a near universal female experience i'll never be part of, so it makes me feel like an outsider at the same time :::

Beep! Hope you feel better soon..

I'm not "disturbingly self deprecating", I'm just negging myself

One of my besties just realised they are NB

Two eggs hatched in my immediate circles and several more folks I only see on socials, but was close to in different phases and places in life. So fun and exciting to see

Went from being called ma'am to miss on the phone today still gave my full legal name so don't know if that helped but I know I'm kinda soft spoken but might just be my nerves or high pitch just not sure what this means

going to visit the clinic for hormones and trans-isness tomorrow, going to be a fucking 8h trip with probably both actual visits taking like 30mins combined, god i hate this

of course I've been blessed by Venus. I've seen a mirror before

After having to delay my ffs date by a couple weeks, it's almost here again. Just a few more days to go and this long journey is finally done

It’s cringe but also unsurprising when I look back and realize how much I tried to be a manic pixie dream girl as a “guy” in relationships with girls

Every ash wednesday is like a jumpscare

But the jumpscare is just remembering that catholicism exists

A while ago, back when I was in nursing school, we were doing some group work. It was me and my friend and two other girls, we were discussing a nurse who had to call in sick because theyre kid was sick and tried to find coverage but couldn't (they were short shift that day too), so called in. The manager escalated and said if they couldn't find coverage there would be professional consequences (think like written up etc)

We went through the scenario and all looked at each other and agreed it was pretty obvious who was at fault and what should change. It was like a comedy routine - me and my friend thought the nurse was correct and management needed to cool off and the other two sided with management.

We had an argument, we said it's not staffs job to find coverage. They had tried and wete unsuccessful, sure the nurse wasn't sick it was the kid - but that's just a part of life as a parent, your kids get sick and you have to take care of them (it's not like they can drive themselves to a hospital and wait around to be triaged). The other two insisted that the nurse was wrong and should be fired even, they were short staffed and needed to try harder to find coverage - we pressed, again, that that's literally what management is paid for. Scheduling, appropriate staffing, if they're that short they need to bulk up on hires and casuals.

Anyway, I just remember how all of us couldn't have conceived of a different way of viewing it. I still can't believe those two thought management as in the right, hopefully they don't learn the hard way that management doesn't actually have your best interests at heart.

hello

Completly failling at getting the shitcoin I need for my estrogen. The method I used 4 months ago doesn't work anymore. And like something from my sytem triggers the payment processors and I get blacklisted again and again

Top shelf zaza got me on that bi-cycle so hard you can call me Lance Armstrong.

I decided that, at one point or another (not now, maybe not even too soon), I'm going to ask her if she wants to try to make things work.

I just really love the connection and we have a lot in common.

But... I'll have to feel prepared.

And right now, my body is not ready.

I am once again in too much ambient pain to sleep

This fucking sucks

I need a hug and a cocoa

::: spoiler drugs some more of that fent they gave me in surgery would be great too, these oxys just feel like Tylenol at this point :::

::: spoiler bleak PSA Be careful with knives and never punch a metal door no matter how much of a blind rage you're in, and then never attempt to wash a knife with a broken hand in a cast that you're trying to keep dry more than you're paying attention to being safe with the knife

Also sleep deprivation is very bad and makes you stupid and angry and impulsive and make bad decisions

Everything's bad! It sucks! I'm having a very bad time and can barely imagine feeling better ever! Anything good that'll happen to me feels impossibly far away now! :::

Oh my god which one of you did this to me. Howwwwww am I this cute what the hell?

It's been so long since I've posted. Touching grass and doomscrolling have been occupying far too much of my time.

Seeing freak out because of a spider in the new boyboy video is kinda adorable

i dont care what anyone says sans sonic is cute

Stalin would go hard as a butch lesbian

My partner called my 3 months on E boobs cute

does anyone have shopping advice for someone who doesn't know shit about clothes

A child gifted me their art 🥹

I love kids arts and gifts

Sometimes a they/them just gotta listen to the entire Undertale soundtrack

I met a new type of American liberal: hates trump with a burning passion but really likes Jordan Peterson.

They need to invent hyperbolic time chambers for transitioning

I want to go on an adventure. Why isn't adventuring a part of our existence? I've ventured through gender, so I think I should get to go on at least one multi-arc adventure in my life.

Watching cute DIY bedroom make-over videos and thinking I could do that while I haven't even tidied up in three weeks

Marxist Leninist Beepist

I feel funny

She makes me feel understood

I really think she's so pretty

She's so nice

She's so non-judgmental

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I'm not male or female, I'm FALE

::: spoiler sad, substance stuff Sent another message to crush after 8 days and that might have been a bad idea but in the unlikely event she just didn't see the last one and thought I went quiet on her I guess I need the finality of knowing she just doesn't want to be in touch or reply anymore and idk why because things seemed good before

I guess on the positive I've been dry for a couple days again for the first time in awhile

On the negative side I've been substituting weed for booze but hey, net positive I guess :::

Did something trans related. I am peak

I'm proud to say I have never once beeped

Okay, chat has me curious, I'm in a little bit of an experimental phase, so I'm gonna try something out...

::: spoiler spoiler

^beep^ :::

hai sorry i missed a couple of weeks worth of mega, anxiety been fucking with me a bit more than usual. cool to see some new profile pics/names! i've been missing this place a bit lately

::: spoiler what's been going on for me

• i'm now an officially diagnosed AuDHD haver (along with some meds)
• i outed myself as the above to my manager to get back some more wfh days
• i've been playing a bit of Pokémon Unbound, over-levelled my first team so i had to make a new one with the exp cap turned on
• bewbs are bewbing :::

I suddenly have an intense need to be percieved

I dream of a future where my faucets have an extra knob where I can fill up on a nice refreshing glass of estrogen

there should be 30 hours in day or something like that, this 24 hour shit is just not working for me

Zaza got me silently weeping listening to the Serial Experiments Lain opening song on repeat

::: spoiler hand dysphoria Getting very intense finger dysphoria today, which is new for me. Was just kinda filing my nails a little and suddenly became hyperfixated on how weird and unattractive my fingers are. My fingers aren't even particularly mannish? They just feel like cartoonish Tim Burton goblin fingers or something.

Maybe I can convince myself they're just like cool witch or hag fingers or something, but in the meantime it's looking like a gloves day :::

Lmao one of the people who's helping me with my class had one of my students ask them what gender I am

Everybody's beepin

beep is not a thing

So, thinking about how to handle a social situation. A member of a local/regional trans discord is celebrating their birthday at a LGBTQ+ bar and put out a general invitation to join them in the discord. I haven't really interacted with this person, but I would like to meet more trans people in the community. However, I am worried about feeling out of place since I haven't met this person before, and haven't met too many people in the discord in person. I also don't drink so I am anxious about that as well.

Overall, I don't know if I am over interpreting the invite, or if I am overthinking it.

::: spoiler weird dysphoria and euphoria thing Zaza got me hearing my internal dialogue in my ideal femme voice and feeling happy then making myself sad realizing I can't actually speak like that

:::

A Sonic Unleashed recompile just got released for PC and seeing everyone play it on Twitter is making me kind of nostalgic and wistful.

When it came out it really felt like, despite the werehog, Sonic was heading in a really cool new direction.
You finish the game and listen to “Endless Possibilities” and it really felt like there were.

And then the series proceeded to have arguably the worst decade of its existence where no game matched the polish, depth, budget, or vision of Unleashed let alone exceeded it.

I am so god damn tired. I have been sleeping like 4 hours each day for the past month or two. So busy

How do I get the government to pay for a motorized tail? As a trans person this is 100% a necessary expense

New femtanyl. 🙂

Might be getting my cast off! (two usable) fingers crossed 🤞

today's mood:

kicking ass like Kazuma Kiryu all while being the prettiest and strongest girl alive ❤

my 15 step skincare routine:

• rub vaseline on face
• repeat x15

Thinking about dressing as a Transgender Mouse for Halloween.

Partner is having a bad day and wants to spend the day alone

I'm going to make stew and bake them something for when I see them tomorrow.

I've gotta get on my ffs grind but it's kind of terrifying and overwhelming. more so than other surgeries imo

Tw: misgendering at work

::: spoiler spoiler So I started a new job a couple of weeks ago, in a house supporting people with autism and other complex needs. It's been good so far but on my first day my boss told me they were excited for me to start because they don't have any men working at this location and I couldn't bring myself to say I'm not a man. I have my pronouns on my resume but I guess she didn't get it. Now all my coworkers are treating me as a guy and I have no idea how to approach this. :::

I feel bad for the residents of San FranCISco

i hemmed a dress for the first time yesterday

someone give me a fashion degree already

I’m starting to regret putting 4 Bird’s Eye chilies into my curry. It’s been a while since I’ve had something really spicy and I just wanted to feel the burn again (and it was indeed pretty nice), but 2 days later and my belly has still not forgiven me.

Being transphobic but just bcs I'm autistic — wdym you're changing your gender, I don't like change

im drunk and listening to alice glass

good saturday activity.

Work was short staffed today, no one picked up, one of the parents had to go to OB triage (pregnancy stuff) so this poor kid didn't have anybody but us for a bit and we were already stretched thin ughhhhhh

Excited for this day to be over

I wish I had some chocolate right now

Yum chocolate

Zaza got me playing real life on 420ping

Zaza got me thinking about all the cool old video games you rented from Blockbuster as a kid and vaguely remember and now you wanna emulate them

Downloaded one of RGG other known games called binary domain but don't think I can play it any more since I'm

Bleh been very sick and mostly bedbound the last few days. Hope this passes soon.

::: spoiler cw si

Im listening music, to a trans woman scream about killing herself, and i have never felt more seen in my own SI processes.

What if we kissed in the sealed up security room in Dead Risings Willamette mall but then Otis interrupted with a walkie talkie call right before our lips touched?

Well my fever has broken twice now, and I was not aware that the body can produce this much sweat.

just found out I have the oldest, cheapest car in the company #dirtbagshit

except for 1 pair of jeans, all my guy clothes are too damn baggy, but I still feel like I need to lose some weight before I can look good in girl clothes 🙃

I don't like the warehog stages :(

Sonic Unleashed Recompiled is pretty neat.

::: spoiler depression, venting, drug/alcohol mentions, medical, lots of pain tfw realizing the closest you've been to happy (or just not abject misery and excruciating pain) lately are all just moments of escapism and everything real and immediate in your life is terrible, bleak, agonizing, disgusting, tedious, frustrating or some permutation or combination of all of the above

I just wanna be more heavily sedated at this point

Waking up from anesthesia with a bunch of fentanyl in my system was the closest I've felt to physically content in ages and omg I just never realized outside of the big injuries how much pain I'm just normally in all the time until it briefly went away

Really fucking cheesy, but you know the scene in The Matrix Revolutions where Neo and Trinity fly the Logos up above the blacked out sky and see the sun and the upper atmosphere for the first (and only) time? Only thing I could think to compare that to

Not being in pain was like seeing a brand new color for the first time idk

Maybe it's shitty of me to admit but part of me is furious that I've suffered so much and there are people out there with perfect health and no lingering conditions or maladies that aren't ever normally in pain that have no clue how good they have it or how much worse things could be

This is fucking agony

The metaphorical Gom Jabbar is at my neck nonstop now and round the clock on the minute of dose oxy+acetaminophen+naproxen+aspirin barely feels like it even dulls it from 8 or 9/10 down to 6 or 7/10

I don't know how I'm ever going to get decent sleep again with a baseline of pain this high

I'd do heroin in a blink of an eye if it were guaranteed to actually be real h and clean and not fent, I just need some break from this, it's too fucking much

I'm sorry but I feel like this is making me unravel mentally and idk what to do other than attempting to distract myself

I can't drink anymore on these many meds and wanted to quit anyway

Kratom doesn't feel like it did anything

I don't want to break the time schedule and double up on it since I know I'll end up a junkie like that just like how getting some relief from booze initially turned me into an alcoholic

I just don't know

You think at a certain duration your brain would just start blocking a certain constant pain signal to preserve the rest of your functioning better as like some deeply engrained survival instinct, but outside the initial adrenaline spike from the wound happening and keeping that going long enough to get emergency care and get stable, not really

I don't know what to do if it keeps hurting this much indefinitely

Sorry fuck I love this place and you all and don't wanna be a downer or worry anyone but

:::

getting drunk off ginger ale and watching on Theo Von

yeah it's a nice day to be trans

I'm listening to the glover ost rn

Watching Furiosa, I wonder if Mad Max the Videogame has a photo mode, oh it does and it's really good, huh. And it's not very expensive to buy. Maybe new project.

A few months back we would have like 600 comments at this point in the week on this mega. Did a purge happen while I was away?

changing my name to I.P. Dabed

::: spoiler sad Need to quit looking at her picture and making myself sad

Can't bring myself to do it

It just hurts so much

I just wish I had some closure

Please just let me know why

Things seemed so good and then she abruptly went quiet and idk what I did wrong

I know I fell too hard too fast but I wish she could know my intentions are good and I'm not a creep and would treat her the best I could

:::

::: spoiler CW: genitalia, ED, anxiety I am curious about transfemme folks' experiences with using ED medications to prevent bottom atrophy. I've definitely started to notice "non-erections" in the morning, which I am happy about since morning wood was a terrible experience for me, but I am also anxious about losing tissue that could be useful for SRS. I still get erections when masturbating, but I have read about peoples' experiences where that was insufficient to prevent tissue atrophy. :::

Did anybody catch Gavin Newsom telling Charlie Kirk that he knew about him because his adolescent son is a fan of Charlie Kirk?

posting when a trans girl needs to pee is kinda mean, i'm sorry i did that

Sorry, wasn't sure which mega to post this in...

::: spoiler ADHD med questions hey fellow ADHD havers, I have a question. I am back on meds - trying Concerta 18mg. However, I got prescribed a generic and I found myself crashing really hard 6 hours in the past few days, much sooner than the 12 hours the medication is supposed to last.

I take generics for all my meds - allergy meds, hormones, Tylenol. Its cheaper and what matters is the active ingredient, right?

But i thought that I would try anyway because the choice is for me to either switch medications away from "methylphenidate ER" entirely or to try brand Concerta, at like an extra $60 per two weeks (since my insurance only covers up to the cost of the generic).

I am, of course, able to find tons of resources online to confirm my bias, as well as some interesting delivery mechanism drama, but i want to hear from people here.

Am I being crazy? I mean, I already have the meds exchanged, so im going to try the brand anyway, but like, has anyone had this experience? Is the brand name really worth it? Are the generics just putting the ingredients in and calling it a day, extended release be damned? :::

Trying to destroy vital Infastructure with the power of my mind

I’m listening to the new Haus of Decline episode and I don’t know why it’s surprising (but also comforting) that she’s same person as she’s always been but with a different voice

Do you think estrogen would have saved D-503?

Danny Gonzalez glossing past “Fabulous” in his High School Musical video is criminal

Health update

amber bot test

Bleh sick again. :(

@LocalOaf@hexbear.net o wow u right vildhjarta is so good

Finished watching a heroes cut content video

::: spoiler here it is ~2 hours https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGTWzCKEYwc :::

Really loved it, I 100%ed it while back for the gamecube and like while it has some rough parts I did really like it. Seeing everything that could have been not to mention the revisions and differences between builds and each consoles were so cozy

In less important but still exciting news, I finally got the last red mark I needed on the a-side cast in BoI and unlocked the mega mush. I'm so relieved that I never have to play J&E again. Now for the b-sides...

posting in the unauthorized mega (this one)

Got some new exercise paraphernalia, hopefully will be able to start some sort of routine and stick with it this time. Ya girl needs to get herself some nice arms and legs, some limbs really worth showing off

Through breath’s embrace, I danced inside,
To fuel the warmth of love’s delight.
A whispered word, arms opened wide,
My spark now turned her hold to tight.

In crimson streams, I rode the tide,
Then left, transformed, in fading flight.
A sigh released me, love supplied,
Back to the stars, into the night.

Why don't people dance at clubs anymore?? I haven't gone out properly in ages but apparently people just aren't anymore? What's the point of it then?