Shabby Lemmy

1.4yr

I'm nonbinary, ace, queer and I'm not ashamed!

Does anyone else occasionally get sparks of sudden clarity about their gender and orientation? Only in the past few weeks do I feel like I'm getting a grip on who I am.

It's gonna be a lifelong process, but I'm becoming more comfortable with myself! I'm nonbinary and asexual, I'm getting my name changed soon. And I can comfortably call myself those things now.

And I'm pissed off too. Just as I'm beginning to understand myself we're facing a wave of federally endorsed transphobia. To the point I'm actually kinda worried about getting my name changed since it might stick me in a database of known queers and make it harder to renew my passport or get on a plane or whatever.

But I'm not afraid because I know I've got a ton of like-minded people out there. I have a ton of faith in everyone reading this because I know how committed, smart, and dedicated people can be when important things are on the line. Times seem dire but they've been dire before and you don't get anywhere by giving up. And think about it like this, I have hope in a better future for myself and other people like me. So take some of my hope. If you ever feel like there's nothing to hope for, just remember that I exist and I still believe things will work out if we want it enough. I've got your backs and I love my trans, gay, queer comrades!!!

I can't express how much nicer I'm starting to feel about myself since now I know I've got a ton of people, whole communities, who have gone through the same thing that I have and understand this stuff way better than me. Thank you for existing everyone and let's all work together, because all we have is one another. That's our greatest strength!

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Angel [any] - 1.4yr

I've been settled on my identity for ages by now, but I've had my long periods of questioning myself way in the past. Figuring out what labels work best for me and truly feel right was such a satisfying feeling.

Usually, in most cases, I just say, "I'm non-binary and pansexual; I go by any and all pronouns," and leave it at that.

However, depending on the circumstances, I may bring up other labels:

I use the term "transfeminine" more as a practical term rather than a term for my actual identity, in that it helps me convey that I'm undergoing a "feminine" transition, with me being on estrogen and seeking an orchiectomy and whatnot.
I may call myself androgynous, especially for people who are like open-minded boomers and might not quite get what "non-binary" means. I sometimes might refer to myself as genderless too, but generally, "non-binary" without any added microlabels works really well for me.
Though pansexual is the label I give for my sexual orientation upfront, I "silently" identify as bisexual. What this means is that I probably wouldn't call myself bisexual through my own words, but if I was in a room and someone said, "Bisexuals in the room, raise your hand," I would raise my hand without hesitation.
I could see a case for calling myself demisexual, but it's a real "take it or leave it" label for me. I'm not terribly involved in a-spec communities.
If I'm interacting with people who I sense may not get it (which can include well-meaning libs especially), I won't say that I go by any and all pronouns; I'll just "default" to they/them pronouns in these cases. I am androgynous-presenting, and some people default to referring to me with she/her pronouns, some people default to referring to me with they/them pronouns, and some people default to referring to me with he/him pronouns. It's quite validating, honestly.

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