1.4yr

cummynism2cumharder in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

Trans Megathread from February 10th, 2024 to February 16th, 2024

Hi Everyone! This is my first mega and I thought I would start simple around something that I think is interesting and that is the history of the first handheld calculator as well as introduce Lynn Conway, a trans woman and electrical engineer that helped pioneer the modern CPU we have today. Lynn recently passed away but her personal website is still up:

Lynn's personal website

I think I hit the limit or picture limit or something and it's not letting me add more pictures so I'll post what I have and will update with more stuff as more things come to mind. Thank you and have a great week.

Shortly after the invention of the transistor in the 1950's companies like Sharp were looking to build the first transistorized calculator. This would be significant because at the time, Vacuum tubes were comparatively large and fragile. That changed in 1964 with the introduction of the first truly transistorized calculator such as the Sharp CS10.

Now at the time this predated the "Integrated Circuit", aka the little black chip filled with transistors. Below is a picture showing the construction of this desktop size calculator, filled with boards with many components each. Not to mention the display for this was the Nixie tube, basically a little specialized neon tube.

Now something like the CS-10, or any portable calculator would require many hundreds of transistors, plus the passive components required meaning that with the technology in the 1960's a handheld calculator was a futuristic concept. For context, the Apollo space program was one of the earliest projects to attempt to fully utilize this new IC technology, and even then each IC would only hold a few transistors per chip. Below is an image of one of these IC's, a 3 input NOR gate.

This concept of increasing density of electronics is something called integration, with varying acronyms indicating some further refinement (LSI - Large scale integration, VLSI - Very large scale integration). Essentially what they were doing at the time was figuring out how to make transistors smaller and to squeeze more on per silicon die. You can imagine at the time this was cutting edge technology thus very expensive and companies were looking for ways on how to be able to justify this cost. By continuing to shrink the size of transistors, integrate more into a single chip and have that same chip also increase in functionality led the way.

By the late 1960's and early 1970's electronics were transitioning (not a pun I am just bad at writing) from discrete, individual transistors, to IC's that had a few transistors each and composed of logic gates, to devices that had tens or hundreds of transistors on a single die. This integration soon led to "chipsets", where the functionality could be accomplished by a handful of IC's instead of hundreds of individual transistors.

A calculator company in Japan named Busicom wanted to build a new innovative calculator taking advantage of the new breakthroughs in this LSI (Large scale integration) technology and partnered with a company called Intel to create this new calculator. What they came up with was the implementation of one of the first true CPU's, the Intel 4004. Although the 4004 would soon be surpassed by other devices, this "chipset" concept and reduction to a single circuit board was groundbreaking.

By this time in 1971-1972 the holy grail for the first truly portable handheld calculator was within reach. A chip (or small set of chips) that could contain all of the functions needed for a calculator that could run on a battery. During this era there were many, many handheld calculators but it can generally be agreed that the earliest breakthroughs came from Texas Instruments, HP, Sinclair and Casio and some others and the market was flooded with these calculators.

Within a few years the price of a handheld calculator would plummet from a few hundred, to around 100, to less than 100. Without the calculator it's arguable that the development of the modern CPU would have been set back years or decades thanks to the major contributions that calculators had in pushing LSI technology forward.

Source: http://www.vintagecalculators.com/index.html

Join our public Matrix server!

https://matrix.to//#/#tracha-space:transfem.dev

https://rentry.co/tracha#tracha-rooms

As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.

Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.

Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.

gaystyleJoker [she/her] - 1.4yr

hi, does anyone wanna make the mega in the upcoming weeks? if so, reply to this post and i'll add you to the list!

the list as it stands:

Moss (2/17 - 2/23)
EstraDoll (2/24 - 3/2)
Yukiko (3/3 - 3/9)
GayTuckerCarlson* (3/10 - 3/16)
oscardejarjayes* (3/17 - 3/23)
Eco* (3/24 - 3/30)

* after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters

EstraDoll [she/her, he/him] - 1.4yr

::: spoiler horrendous joke creepy sexpats solidarity trans women

taking a flight all the way to south east asia to get pussy :::

Edie [it/its, she/her] - 1.4yr

dead-dove-1 dead-dove-2 dead-dove-3

yewler [she/her] - 1.4yr

I audibly chuckled at this. This is amazing

bolshevikLovelace [she/her, love/loves] - 1.4yr

Up with trans

AntifaSuperWombat [she/her] - 1.4yr

Eco [she/her, he/him] - 1.4yr

up with trans

Hestia [she/her, fae/faer] - 1.4yr

What's up trans?

omenmis [she/her] - 1.4yr

chat is this real

SuperZutsuki [they/them] - 1.4yr

Good morning, trans comrades! I'm getting my ears pierced in 2 hours and I'm super excited!

TerminalEncounter [she/her] - 1.4yr

It's such a simple thing but I really liked my ear piercings too! I didn't get them pierced until I was 30 lol, should've done it ages before

🎀 Seryph (She/Her) - 1.4yr

I've been meaning to get mine pierced for months now but keep putting it off 😔 Friends keep telling me I'd look great with piercings too.

hexbee [she/her] - 1.4yr

saaame, I've been dreaming about it for years already, but thinking about actually piercing them makes me so anxious. We gotta get it finaly done!

It was almost entirely painless for me, less noticeable than a flu shot, even. My lobes are slightly hot and swollen right now but no pain.

Azarova [they/them] - 1.4yr

i used to not vibe at all with the enby colors flag-non-binary-pride until i saw them as the colors of sunrise and twilight. not sure if that was intentional but it rocks

President_Obama [they/them, she/her] - 1.4yr

The aroace flag flag-aroace-pride is also known as the sunset flag. Sunset over the sea

After years of identifying as aroace, me thinks I might like girls in the gay way

im-fuckin-gay

There is not a single image across the entire universe more fit to describe exactly what happened to me last night than this one

JohnBrownsBussy2 [she/her, they/them] - 1.4yr

First session of laser today. There was a bit of pain, but less so than epilating my legs.

propter_hog [any, any] - 1.4yr

I've had exactly one session of electrolysis and it fucking SUCKED. I haven't had the courage to go back yet.

Yeah, I am very glad that my hair is dark enough that laser works

buh [she/her, any] - 1.4yr

I HRT myself today

transgender

amy_jmayday [she/her] - 1.4yr

waow-based

SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them] - 1.4yr

Morning

kristina [she/her] - 1.4yr

Kit/kits pronouns have been added for anyone that wanted them

KatGirl [pup/pup's] - 1.4yr

Hell yeah they added the pronouns I asked for

There you are! Glad you saw

Now we just need kit/kat pronouns

KrupskayaPraxis - 1.4yr

::: spoiler feeling behind I'm finally opening up and becoming more social, but it feels like people who are five years younger than me have more social experience and it makes me feel behind in life :::

::: spoiler same cw + doomer Relatable. The old growing up in a religious cult + autism combo sure will do that to you, or rather it did for me. I wish I was opening up more, I feel decades behind... :::

MusicOwl [comrade/them, sie/hir] - 1.4yr

down with cis

Cistem of a down

Is that anything

something something Tox-cis-ity or something idk I am still sleepy

GenderIsOpSec [she/her, kit/kit's] - 1.4yr

cis-o-cide

AlephNull [she/her] - 1.4yr

cistern

Down with cis

Every one of these trans healthcare things is always eaten up by fischer price baby's first gender lesson and even worse is that it's necessary every single time. It takes like an hour to get through "sex is bimodal - not binary, sex is a legal category and assigned by a practioner, gender identity is something the person alone feels so they are the authority on it, etc etc." Even "trans men sometimes want abortions and they'd like to access care in a way that affirms their gender, HRT is not birth control, not every trans man wants a hysterectomy" are all apparently deep insights for cis people.

We finally get into something juicy and it's almost time for the presentation and discussion to end 😭 Give me the code to get into the seminars that can skip over the gender 101 shit PELASE

Where were you when bear site kill

FunkyStuff [he/him] - 1.4yr

Lurking every mega because I'm nervous and don't want to lose you all :(

Don’t worry. We’ll meet each other again in the afterlife.

What happened?

Think I'm gonna wear my new dress to class sometime this week, I've got a whole simple gothy coord planned out for it too. I half want to get some eye makeup to try that for the first time with it too but I don't have any or any time to go buy some before the day I'm gonna wear it.

LocalOaf [they/them, she/her] - 1.4yr

::: spoiler sad Interacted with someone you think there are mutual sparks with for like 15 minutes and it just fucking crushes you for some reason that you didn't immediately run away together and never look back and I don't know what I expected dead-dove-3 :::

Wmill [they/them, fae/faer] - 1.4yr

I honestly don't know if I ever felt instant crushes like that, usually takes me a while to develop anything and by then it's too late since they usually have a partner by then

Hey it wasn't instant, it took a couple minutes lol

My bad had daft punk on the mind kirby-jammin

Yukiko - 1.4yr

I had to go to the grocery store today to pick up some groceries. Thought I was just gonna walk away with almond milk, eggs, and bread. Walked away with just milk and bread cause eggs are $9/dozen right now. There is no chance in hell I'm paying that much for eggs. I don't care how much I need them for baking, It's not happening. I'd rather just go without.

Flax egg stays winning

Flax egg? What’s that? Cause if it’s a substitute, I’m all ears. Time to stop consuming eggs as I don’t need them anyways.

mix 1tbsp flax flour (or flaxseed meal or whatever it's called) into 2 to 3 tbsp of hot water. leave for a bit and it's coagulated into eggy form.

There's also aquafaba which is the boiling water of chickpeas. You need to whisk it for a bit, but it works wonderfully as an egg substitute.

this was made with aquafaba and standard sugar

I love it. Thank you for this information. Now to obtain some flax flour and give it a whirl in some recipes. trans-heart

godspeed on your eggless baking journey catgirl-salute

Baked muffins the other day with (pea) protein powder powder and they turned out... edible? The texture is off (too chewy and dense) but the flavor was pretty good

roux [they/them, xe/xem] - 1.4yr

I've had decent success baking with both JUST egg replacement and applesauce.

it was not ok to auction the domain as a joke kitty-cri

i had to read smut at work instead of hexbear smdh

Never again will I have to be a man spending Valentine's day alone!

Now I'm a woman spending Valentine's day alone agony-wholesome

BountifulEggnog [it/its, she/her] - 1.4yr

::: spoiler with the site having issues, I can say this and no one will know I'm gay :::

Tomboymoder [she/her, pup/pup's] - 1.4yr

Can’t stop thinking about the cashier who misgendered me recently.
What was it that made him do it?
Was it my face? My hair? My voice? My body?

Just makes me paranoid one or all of these things is too wrong to girlmode. aubrey-pain

iridaniotter [she/her] - 1.4yr

:::spoiler USA trans politics, critique of leftist org

PSL advancing the "trans genocide is a distraction" theory, lol, lmao.

The rest of their line is better than McBride's, but when you're a basically powerless socialist party, you could at least have a correct analysis of the situation.

:::

whenever I think about how my parents would respond to me coming out as trans to them, I imagine them being fucking assholes about it (very likely) and become resentful

but today the thought occurred to me again and I imagined them being accepting (very unlikely) and I'm almost crying over how beautiful just the thought of it is to me

I'd 100000% be a crystal/rock guy if I could get them through doing sidequests than paying money for them. Years of video games have trained me to hold on to trinkets for either the possible stat boosts or possibly being key items I might need for later.

Passing privilege but it’s being smart enough that your code passes all the unit tests on the first try

https://www.reddit.com/r/Transgender_Surgeries/comments/1ik1o02/the_future_of_this_sub/

Looks like they're discussing a move. Dbzero and blahaj in the thread cause hexbear is shadowbanned on reddit

HexReplyBot [none/use name] - 1.4yr

A Reddit link was detected in your comment. Here are links to the same location on alternative frontends that protect your privacy.

Mousy [she/her, they/them] - 1.4yr

Don't know how someone i cared about can hurt me over and over again catgirl-cry

broke: fixing my posture with braces and stretches and shit like that

woke: fixing my posture by looking at my reflection in the window right next to my desk and correcting every few minutes

Bespoke: fixing my posture by breaking my back in a motorcycling accident and ending up in a full-body cast.

skeleton-motorcycle

here we don’t just have enbys, we also have exbes

I keep looking at boobs and not being entirely sure if it is awooga or trans-hatch

Wait haven't I already posted this once.

Yes I have

Maybe I should get a girlfriend or boobs and I would know which of them it is...

whynotboth.jpg

Had a dream I was being misgendered like deliberately after I said I was hexbear-non-binary while it was meow-cactus it is cool subconciously I now fully feel flag-non-binary-pride

No Friday Rice because it’s Valentine’s, I’m sorry to inconvenience you all like this.

well i guess i'm officially a neopagan now

frankly even i don't believe it but i just deliberately took a minute to give a prayer to Venus and am probably going to build her a small shrine tomorrow so I guess I'm a neopagan now

idk why even i don't believe it but it feels so surreal to admit that it's true

alright, they smell like garbage and are kind of wet but i dug my old he/him pronouns out of the trash. let's try being a he/him transbian for the week

everyone looks better with longer hair

doesn't have to be long long, but longer

I remember first loving how my hair looked when my mom and sibling helped me straighten it when I was younger, from then on decided I needed long hair. I'd straighten it out now but I'm wary what ironing my hair too much would do to it.

walking down the street

browsing twitter on my phone

look at elon musk tweet

ignore it

nearby tesla autopilot takes a hard right and runs me over

My sister is playing Disco Elysium for the first time and she's like basically live commentating it for me and sending screenshots of everything she loves about the game so far and it's bringing me a lot of joy.

Starting to feel breast pain/tenderness. Booba incoming.

CrookedSerpent [she/her] - 1.4yr

I'm debating whether or not to out myself to my Trumpite coworker. My reasoning for this is because she genuinely seems like a good person infected by brain worms, and I dont think she's ever actually met a trans woman before (that shes been aware of obviously). Outing myself to her could give her a positive example of a trans person just being a normal ass person (one who she likes as well) in her life that is actively being hurt by the current administration she likes so much. But of course, I'm also hesitant to do this because, 1. she's my supervisor and 2. She could just go full feral hog when she hears I'm trans and make my work day more hellish than it already is. Suck that I have to put my own job on the line in order to maybe change somebody's bigoted views on trans people... Probably won't end up doing it :/

We should rename the site to Hexpup doggirl-thumbsup

chat is this true???

::: spoiler CW for dysphoria or internalized transphobia but probably neither tbh idk before hrt: sometimes I feel like a girly man and that needs to change NOW 😣 😫

after hrt: sometimes I feel like a girly man and that's just fine! 🤪 🤷‍♀️

chat, what does this mean...

like before hrt I had always had a strong urge to present more feminine and felt a sense of shame and guilt that I don't, but now that's mostly melted away and I don't really care that I'm boymoding all the time and not out to anyone

basically nothing about my apperance has changed since I started hrt but I'm now more comfortable using a higher voice (which is actually more natural for me, not to say it's anywhere near passing) and feminine mannerisms :::

What if instead of chapo.chat it chao chat and we talked about sonic adventure

"wow this girl looked so plain but without her glasses she's such a beauty"

any author that engages in this trope is a fake fan, and should engage in self-criticism

Had a dream that woke me up last night where I was unfortunately subjected to my pig uncle who decided to call me literally every name in the book aside from my actual name. I hope you get hit by a truck you fucking pig.

inTheShadowOf [she/her] - 1.4yr

The flag-lesbian-pride urge to date women.

I think what is important to note with all this is that hexbear wasnt being sold at auction before Kit/Kit's pronouns were added, therefore now that the domain is being sold it means that Kit/Kit's pronouns are worth $2500

XiaCobolt [she/her] - 1.4yr

Cognitive behavioral therapy enjoyer I just cut off in gender traffic: Think positively. He is probably in a rush for a reason. Maybe she’s late for a job interview. Maybe their wife is giving birth

Me: I’m da king of da gender highway

When is the site going to be fixed? doggirl-sleep

"cis" is just one letter away from "cia". s and a are right next to eachother on the keyboard too

thinking-about-it think about it

Who wants brownies lol

dracula-flow

I'm them

I've been them

I will continue to be them

hexbear-non-binary

you cowards couldn't even handle femme orc x butch elf

whose taller?

HomosexualUnderground [she/her] - 1.4yr

::: spoiler I can't help but feeling guilty for being so happy when there's so much pain and fear in the community, but i have to get this out

::: spoiler It is also very gay Three-way slow burn transbian romance buildup may be my new favorite thing. My head's still overflowing with all these memories of handholding and cuddles and scritches and hugs from the weekend, how can these girls be so unbelievably cute and precious and so kind to me? How can anybody be so happy to see me? And that was after i met up with my gal pal the day before, and we went marching for the cause and sang worker's songs together while she held my arm all along the way. I feel so healed and so full of love. There is hope. There is still hope in this world. I refuse to give up. I will keep fighting for us, for our right to live our best lifes. I will do it for them. :::

Day 30 of HRT 👀

CDommunist [she/her, love/loves] - 1.4yr

This is why we need to start a trans RV commune

I went to a trans comedy show and had the performers sign my estradiol patches because it was funny. I'm now wondering if it would be silly or deeply weird to keep them. Autographs don't really hold any significance to me but getting people to sign weird things is fun so shrug-outta-hecks

dragongloss [she/her, comrade/them] - 1.4yr

Am i doing trans wrong if i am not a programmer

i hope not, im too deep into the dumb bitch juice to learn to code i-love-not-thinking

Alright, first dose of prog administered. Now I just gotta channel all my excess energy into growing boobs, yeah?

Tommasi [she/her, pup/pup's] - 1.4yr

having a maybe i should just never talk to another person ever again kind of day

That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even hexbear may die.

Brain got me good with this dream, was looking at some old dude without a beard carl i-do , then beard filter was placed on him and it turned out it was Karl Marx marx-joker . shaking and pissin myself from the reveal, thoughts and prayers appriecated angery

GayTuckerCarlson [she/her] - 1.4yr

Too many job applications doggirl-gloom

Zorothamya [she/her] - 1.4yr

(not sure if this counts as discussing current struggle sessions, so freely delete this if it does, I just assumed since it happened months (or years?) ago, that it isn't current anymore)

I'm sorry for digging the issue up again, but I really forgot what happened. Since when are we federated with blahaj.zone again? Or did we never block them and it was only them that defederated us? I find it sad that we are separated from each other, but I also really don't remember what happened anymore. My brain tells me it had something to do with one of !196@lemmy.blahaj.zone's mods?

blahaj.zone is protecting and coddling chasers.

WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them] - 1.4yr

https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/instances

Looks like hexbear is blocked by blahaj, but hexbear no longer blocks blahaj. So if you comment there, it probably doesn't show up for blahaj users.

i mean if she's gonna let people circlejerk about tankies or whatever, do we really want to refederate with them

still not beating the "floats when she smells a pie" allegations

naom3 [she/her] - 1.4yr

Obligatory “loosing the domain name as a joke was not ok” but if I loose this site and all the people here I’ll be really sad 😭

Real ones make it back to the trans mega without the pin, took me a while but I'm back

Great episode of KJB on the Wicker Man (the original). Though right at the end Abi veers almost into reddit atheism with her disagreements about their being a potentially pro-Christian martyrdom interstation of the film (unintentional or not). Like I'm not religious, but I grew up in a very religious Christian setting, and Christians (in particular the austere protestant tea-teetotalling Methodist types) fucking love the concept of dying for their religion. IT'S THEIR WHOLE THING!

I had a cry about something and I thought the estrogen was doing its thing but then I woke up 😭

I'm gonna Dr Moreau style domme your ass. Your head is gonna be full of puppy or kitty thoughts. You're gonna see a sun beam and lay in it. You're gonna see a dinner plate and beg for it in a bowl. You're gonna need permission to even say your own name nevermind that you can speak at all. You're gonna come back from work and collapse into a puddle because human mode is too hard, but that's okay you're already perfect as my little pet~ ♡

::: spoiler abortion care I have a gender affirming abortion care seminar soon, that'll be interesting! It's not something we see a lot of, but we do get trans boys (they're under 18, pediatrics) and every once in a while we get teens who are pregnant. And we've had to handle D&C prep, which isn't necessarily for abortion but it can be. I think if you're under 18 and get a D&C we handle it in our day surgery but you have to go to maternity if you want to deliver. Weird edge case. :::

My voice maybe wouldn't be so bad if I learned how to stop speaking with my throat so much. doggirl-sweat

sictransitgloria [she/her] - 1.4yr

stress dream trying to make me ashamed over being queer again shatter

Thrift stores that "sort" clothes by clothes by color instead of size are accursed.

It feels different watching movies I've noticed. Like I feel more connected to them? I don't know how to really describe it. Is this an estrogen thing?

I was gonna make a teary eyed emotional post about how much I appreciate ya'll and this space but that was like immediately before the site exploded, so I'd better not risk it, huh?

Went to the thrift store to get some post Valentine's Day drip and plushies. Got 2 new friends and a real nice cotton pink shirt and bow tie, if I could post how I look I would just believe me when I say I look great che-smile

I keep forgetting to come here and comment because of the current mega structure on the front page. This is bothering me.

On another note, I'm sick as hell right now and it's hard to get out of bed for more than a few minutes at a time. I stand up and it feels like someone sets a boulder on top of my head. It ain't fun.

My prog delivery is running late this world is a prison.

doggirl-hi bye bye, pav bahji doggirl-cry

I've had to work every single fucking spring ahead and fall back for the last 3 years on the overnight shift. Stop scheduling me on it. People ask ME how it works for pay and for hours, my coworkers whove been there 10+ years ask ME. Whyyyyyy

Signed up for a class to get qualified to go back to my old job. Have a bunch of homework to do before, but its okay it's all portioned out and I've done this before ( blob-no-thoughts ) . It took me literally 3x as long as it estimated to get the first thing done, at which point I was too drained to do more. I took a break, and am trying to get back to work and I just can't.

::: spoiler self hate Why am I such a stupid, incompetent piece of shit. Its basic fucking shit and I can't focus. I've been on the verge of tears this whole time. I hate myself. No wonder I'm a failchild who will never make it in life. Genuinely how much more of this shit before I call it quits. I can't do anything, I'm just stupid.

and it hurts that no one understands. Everyone acts like I just need to push harder, like I'm not trying, I am trying I'm just not very good kitty-cri :::

So anyway I'm going to try and push through for a few hours before giving up and trying to cancel the class (starts on Monday but I'm behind). They say no refunds, but I also haven't given them any money, so fuck 'em I guess. I'll try next month, and I'll sign up earlier.

Just learned about the hawk tuah dating app "Pookie" through a chadchad vid. Alright chat this might be my in to not spending valentine's day alone anymore inshallah please send your thoughts and prayers for support

My lesbian vampire in Skyrim is pretty OP. She has 156% spell absorb due to necromage, bloodworm helm and bone wolf, which is 56% unnecessary.

I threw out my he/him pronouns almost a year ago now and I'm not gonna lie they've been sitting in the trash and I've been side eyeing them for the last few months wondering if I want them back actually

he/him lesbian? no, he/him transbian, now that's some advanced gender right there thinking-about-it

Omg we're back! What on earth happened?

In math there's so many really annoying conjectures that are true and you can just tell but we just can't prove it

Like the goldbach conjecture. Every even number is the sum of 2 primes (after 2, which itself is prime). You try a few and yeah that's pretty convincing, which isn't enough of course cause it can always prove false higher than you checked. Except we've checked very high with computers and it it's true for everything we've checked, which isn't a proof of course but come on.

Cause while you can tell it's probably true, you get conjectures that seem true but aren't after some finite number. It can be a high finite number, it can be so high we can't actually enumerate it, but it is finite regardless. If I ever get frozen for centuries, the proof of the truth or falseness goldbach conjecture is one of the first things I wanna check

We need to normalize vibes-based proofs

The way I look at it is that the interesting part of problems like the goldbach conjecture isn’t whether they’re true or not, but the proof itself. Like the real problem isn’t whether or not it applies to every even number, cause it probably does, it’s how you can prove that

::: spoiler addiction Got drunk and thought I lost my vape

Found my vape again

dracula-flow this shit ain't nothing to me man :::

another day continuing to live my life like i'm deliberately trying to make my therapist's job as difficult as possible

Inside me are two wolves

One wants to get my jacket from my car because it’s cold in the office

The other doesn’t want to because it’s raining outside

bawling my eyes out at work due to listening to a sad song about being bullied at school kitty-cri

::: spoiler horny post about woodworking You ever see the way wood glue like leaks out when you clamp pieces of wood together... my old carpenter/framing boss used to give me shit for using too much but I dunno, that seems right. Just wood glue cum from getting clamped :::

Woke up in the middle of the night just feeling real sad and lonely catgirl-flop

Looked up crush's social media stuff she gave me and she had some video conference things about her work and oh my God she has the cutest voice and I'm fuckin' gayyyyyyyy im-fuckin-gay

::: spoiler probably disphoria and borderline incoherent rambling I'm having very gender feelings at the moment that I'm finding it difficult to place. It's like on one hand I feel this deep longing to be more like a girl than I feel like I am and imagining what it must be like to not feel like other people see me as "the trans person in the group" and just as a woman. Wishing this estrogen would work freaking faster. Wishing I could just snap my fingers and know how to be a girl like I was raised one, and feeling sad that I wasn't raised one because holy mother of God I want to be a daughter but my mom hasn't called me my preferred name a single time yet. I didn't get a chance to shave this morning because I slept in and ugh it wasn't fun

On the other hand though, there's something positive somewhere in there that I can't exactly place. Like a peace and pride in myself. Like I look in the mirror right now and I see a girl doing her best despite the haters. Like I really like my hair and I'm glad I learned enough about it to take care of it. I really like my nails and I'm so glad I built up the courage to do them. I reallllllllllly like the clothes I wear and it's the first time I've ever actually enjoyed picking clothes out for myself. Idk I think it might be that I feel really proud of myself.

It's like its gender dysphoria and euphoria simultaneously.

I don't really know why these two feelings kind of come together, like I don't really ever feel one without the other, but they've been with me pretty consistently in the evening for the past few days. :::

I have no morals or belief system. I have no spirituality or anything that gives my life meaning or structure. They ask me to shoot, I do it. I have no character.

The weed will have you in purgatory crying for eternity. You will relive every key mistake you've ever made in your life, over and over and over.

The BUGS are back.

This shit ain't nothing to me man

Woke up in Geneva. Aw man, I did it again!

58% pre roll joints coated in keef got me reading the Book of Revelations

We are indeed close

I wept for there were no more worlds left to conquer

Threw the op into the particle collider

Watched him get torn into a million pieces

Turned his sorry ass into some data

big-cool

screm-cool

thelastaxolotl [he/him] - 1.4yr

Hello trans comrades stalin-heart

Here is a Backup megathread on lemmygrad https://lemmygrad.ml/post/7001663

In case there is a new domain name its will be linked there and in the comm its in

Self esteem feels at an all time high stonks-up had such a good dream just now, dreamt I was working in my backyard and neighbors kept coming in to see my stuff. I was getting annoyed but eventually let them look around when the general consensus among everyone there was that I was hot che-smile I'm really starting to come into my looks I feel all the self improvement stuff is paying off if I can acknowledge it myself deep down.

Should we start our own trans RV commune?

I'd be down, fuck how I'm currently living lmao

::: spoiler confession is there a guide on how to tuck because i still don't know how cri :::

I can’t tell who anybody is without the pfps :blob-no-thoughts:

Slowly but surely everyone's changing into "exbe" in black letters on a white background for me

The version of Sunder they added to skyrim, despite being a blunt hammer, was given axe-animations instead of mace (probably looks more natural). But it has the hilarious effect that you can do decapitations with a hammer. Something something tonal architecture, head pops off etc.

Finished Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood…still no idea what a homunculus is.

noun

A diminutive human.

isn’t that you?

My copy of ¡No Pasaran! came in today!
What a nice valentines day gift

literally all i want in life is to be cute and make cool shit and i can't do either oooaaaaaaauhhh

Trans mega should I shoot my shot with the cute charming lady from the anime expo that was nice to me? ~keep~ ~thinking~ ~about~ ~her~ im-fuckin-gay

rtstragedy - 1.4yr

i can't find the general mega because the site is all weird now, so i'm just going to post here

outer wilds. specifically, the ost. specifically, the Nomai Ruins track. The piano part at ~30s in - I was able to recreate something extremely similar just with a piano patch, a lowpass filter, and then some simulated tube amp. It's a beautiful part and I expected it to be more tonally complex than it ended up being - I thought there was going to be chords and everything, but no, its just a single note line.

In general, I love the minimalism of the OST. It is inspiring me to write less busy tracks and to develop and iterate on melodic ideas and chord progressions more.

All the messages in the trachat are encrypted for me, how do I stop that?

If you ship Sonadow and Shadow is the top I don’t respect you.

It will be funny if I get through this weekend at my folks place and nobody notices that I got my ears pierced. No one has so far.

3rd IM E dose complete. Had to delay it by a day since I was visiting folks (although in retrospect it would have been easier to hide than I thought.)

just finished setting up NextDNS on my phone, let the cute pfps and emojis flow! hahaha

Never really watched and wallace or grommit movies tbh but I'm downloading the ps2 curse of the were rabbit bunny-vibe honestly no idea what to expect but this'll be my initiation into the series

KatGirl @lemmy.ml - 1.4yr

Got tired of seeing

Whenever I opened chapo.chat so I made a Lemmy.ml account and now I can see everyone's pfps again

shallot [she/her] - 1.4yr

Kinda hope they add that as an emote

Issue is images still don't load do that sucks

This blunt has a family somewhere worried as hell

dracula-flow classic

trans yeat mixtape called "fire from yeat"

My library has these mystery books you can check out for valentines day so I got one, Left fur dead has a bunny in it and a mystery bunny-vibe Gonna try reading it and finishing it tomorrow for a raffle they got going.

Grinding in Sonic adventure 2 was pretty good for the balance part and I loved how fast you could get in shadow 05 (prob not intended since you could fall out of bounds in the lava shelter). It feels unfair to critique 06 so I won't but come unleashed I feel it really starts to fall off at that point forward.

Don't know about frontiers but idk after a point the grinds just felt like a check list, there ain't no soul or passion just hit the shoulder buttons use some boost if you have it.

Starting my four day weekend off right - sitting here playing mahjong while incoherently thinking to myself "y'know a lot of other lesbians were also Tekken King mains growing up..."

::: spoiler emo lyrics posting

BTBAM "Lunar Wilderness"

in many days and fewer nights... so I'm told.

I've lost my time years ago... so I'm told.

The explaining. The whispered words.

This will be the hardest part... so I'm told.

I wish my mind would work... unfold.

The explaining. The whispered words. :::

When Ian Mackaye sang “I don’t fuck!” I felt that

Bugs Bunny Vs Columbo

Who wins

I know what short haired Wmill looks like and I don't wanna be that ever again, I ideally would love it ssj3 length but it seems to have stopped growing out after all these years

I remember getting through all of yakuza 5 with one hastune miku figuring in my inventory, next time I play that game I'll do a nothing but hastune miku inventory run. I don't need healing items when I have the creator of minecraft on myside

wait you can get a hatsune miku figurine in yakuza 5? how did i not know this?

In the arcade but you gotta put a cylinder into a hole hyperflush it's kind of suggestive

marx-doomer The Great Emerald's power allows me to feel

no-copyright

can i say something

If you want to... I guess.....

beep

You're back!

You're an oasis in the desert

Yes, say it. Say it!!

i'm saying something different in 2025... is that ok...

The time has come

beep.

Hayao the legendary 41 year old gamer twink won again, love that man's gaming skills, splits skills, and also how fucking yummy he is

I have buttons on my hat for both demiboy and agender as I try to navigate this new space in my life. Well today the demiboy one fell off of my hat and landed in the litter box when I wet to hang my hat up on our coat rack. So I guess that settles it!

Director of sonic adventure 2 on to black knight mentioned how they had a department on just to go "actually that character wouldn't act like that" nerd honestly would love that kind of job if I'm being honest

SEGA hire me.

You'd make a power edition to the sega staff, one of the few people I know who understands the secret sauce of no-copyright

when will the booba soreness end yes-honey-left

is it like this for cis girls

also I'm probably just being paranoid, but does bumping it while it's growing cause any problems, naturally I'm trying to avoid it but it happens almost every day, and way more on one of them than the other

Turned all my friends gay by saying "Rainbows" and they each shifted to a different skin tone matching one spectrum of a rainbow

exbe

🎶🎵 Gory gory, what a helluva way to die, ya ain't gonna jump no more🎵🎶

trauma

isabell fall is the only victim of "cancel culture"

right wing losers just can't take criticism without feeling attacked

anonochronomus [comrade/them, she/her] - 1.4yr

Hello my lovelies! I hope everyone is doing well! I've had the craziest couple of weeks, some good some bad so I guess I'll start with the good news;

I performed with the Sun Ra Arkestra in Princeton, NJ earlier this month. So I'm officially the 1st trans woman to perform with the Arkestra, I'm a part of jazz history!

And the shitty news: I got hit by a car riding my bike and lost a tooth, and got attacked by my neighbors twice in two weeks. The 1st time was on my porch, 2nd time was on the sidewalk. They ran me over with a car on purpose. THEN I GOT ARRESTED FOR IT. Some absolute bullshit. Whatever. It'll be fine in the end, shits just crazy.

A 4th character has struck my playing Skyrim. A redguard man who looks like Inigio Montoya (watched Princess Bride last night again) who wears no armour (Captain clothes) and fights with a one handed sword (Cyrus sabre) no shield. He uses alteration flesh spells to make him less squishy.

Well, I am at my folks place again since my grandma had an accident and I needed to drive over to visit her in the hospital. I think she's going to make it at least. The timing does mean I have to delay my injection by a day, but I have some extra pills to keep my levels up (as well as the spiro).

New hunter the parenting was goated with the sauce, months of waiting and theory crafting on what was gonna happen kel-bliss pay off was so good. Honestly this has been like the best valentines day for me party-blob

🛩️

Neutralizing targets north of your location Metal-01, danger close, repeat, danger close. Recommend you keep your heads down until we've swept up, copy?

::: spoiler kinda horny i didnt used to understand the panties sniffing thing that a lot of people seemed to be into, but recently my own have started to smell really lovely so i guess i kinda get it now. :::

still wouldnt buy a pair from someone, sheesh catgirl-huh