1.8yr

Are you cisgender? Gender Survey Result: Majority of active Hexbear users say No and Maybe.

https://imgur.artemislena.eu/pue7vWL.jpeg

Various thoughts:

Around 20 people weren't properly covered by the gender categories, obviously we're trying to be as inclusive as possible and a different approach will be tried next time
There were about 600 respondents, which gives us a accurate sampling of the active userbase. If you multiply any number by 3, you'll get a fairly accurate representation of the full userbase each week. This means there are around 800-900 people who don't identify fully as cis each week on this site.
Nearly 300 trans/gender diverse/questioning people unanimously agree that hexbear is an inclusive space
There was so much data on gender that I was really struggling to find a way to convey the data that wasnt a pie chart, graph, or an incomprehensible kalaeidoscope. If you have an idea on how to beautify the data, you can download the raw data here: https://pad.artemislena.eu/file/#/2/file/xzy4pck8on+oZp9yGRUIezR+/ - I further anonymized this data by removing time of response and any specific comments, I don't think it would be easy for anyone to figure out who is who.
There were a couple of text responses that really needed further elaboration, I noted hexbear's rules next to these comments
I'll probably be doing a demographics survey sometime in the future, including basic fairly anonymous stuff like "what region were you born in" "where do the languages you speak originate" "would you describe yourself as a POC" "what age range are you in".
The percentage of people answering they were cisgender increased by 8% than the previous survey. This could be for a myriad of reasons, such as cis people being afraid trans people will hunt them down in the public thread and assassinate them. Anonymity may have made them feel safer to respond. Regardless, way more people responded this time, which signifies that people felt safer responding to the cryptpad or it was easier to do. The leading question was a bit more inclusive than last time, but I think I'll include both questions (are you transgender / gender diverse and are you cisgender) to see how people respond.
We have a lot of people that aren't binary trans on this site.
Some of the questions were pretty funky and we got a lot of fuzzy responses on them as a result. In particular "After you realized you were trans/gender diverse, how long did it take for you to begin to act on it?" and "At what age did you begin transition?" caused a lot of friction, I think I will ask more vague questions in the future that lead to a path of more specific questions to capture better data, and to save people time. Questions like "Do you feel your gender transition had a defined starting point?" and some further ones.
Around 20 people each week on this site are cis she/hers, which is very low and roughly the same as last time. I feel like if hexbear ever starts hosting other federated stuff (like a federated tiktok or something) and can hook into it natively with lemmy, we'd see a better ratio.
I tried to be very sure any data with >2 people on it was clearly legible, I think some people might find it fun that there are others with their same fairly specific classifications per this survey lurking around on the site.
Overall I feel like the survey was a success despite some bumps.
You can find the other surveys/links here: https://hexbear.net/post/3016455
I made these graphs on company time

nerd

SadArtemis [she/her] - 1.8yr

Couldn't agree more. China has its genuine issues (and I believe- from all I have seen, with this belief only growing the more I learn of the complexities of the Chinese system, that it is on the path to and diligently working to address them- and I say this as someone who used to be a doubter).

But the difference is night and day. China isn't driving its citizenry or even the broader world into greater and more exploitative disenfranchisement by the day (unlike the western imperialist system), rather the opposite, it is lifting its people out of poverty and taking extensive measures to do so even for the most disenfranchised (ethnic minorities, generational poverty, etc), and peacefully collaborating with nations to assist them in doing the same.

China isn't flagrantly destroying the biosphere, leaving others to clean up its messes, and promoting Enlightened Individualism™ of nations where poor developing countries (like China till very recently- and it is still developing) are blamed for using what they need to survive while the history of western excesses (which were at the expense of the global south no less) is conveniently dismissed; rather, it is working with nations to solve the issues of environmentalism and their own material conditions rather than expecting the developing (colonized) world to bask in enlightened, environmentally-friendly austerity, asceticism, and anarcho-primitivism so that their colonial "superiors" can maintain their modern lives without ecological collapse.

China isn't supporting (religious, racial/ethnic, political) extremism and criminality (organized crime and in particular human and drug trafficking) across the entire globe, and it isn't operating with some grand (not-so-hidden, considering the Wolfowitz doctrine) scheme of destabilizing all corners of the earth to maintain perpetual dominance and expansion. China isn't holding a gun to its neighbors' heads, even in the most questionable disputes they are not barbaric imperialists (unlike the west which is literally holding a metaphorical gun to China's head, and to the rest of the world's heads as well). China isn't pushing for WW3, or even pushing for conflict in any geopolitical region, but rather seeking de-escalation and the development of peaceful multipolarity and mutual dialogue.

The west is basically marching the world full speed ahead to environmental and nuclear armageddon, and actively promoting the immiseration and further destruction of all of humanity in the meantime (through further championing the contradictions of capital and trying to maintain hegemony). China isn't doing any of that, it is working towards the opposite- and even if someone really believed in the "evil SEESEEPEE" all of the above is still true- and it could also be said that similarly, none of the BRICS or the global south at large are even remotely comparable to the west in these regards.

kristina [she/her] - 1.8yr

Someone should post this on /r/mtf and /r/ftm and some of the enby subreddits, just saying. Share it around, maybe we'll get new friends! berdly-smug

And maybe edit the prolewiki https://en.prolewiki.org/wiki/Hexbear

Cowbee [he/him, they/them] - 1.8yr

Would be funny to crosspost it onto Lemmy.ml and watch libs mald that leftists are better at making an inclusive and safe space for our trans comrades than they are again, though I'm pretty sure that would also coincide with harassment again, which should obviously be avoided.

Edit: shoutout to marcie, she even crossposted it to blahaj.zone. wonder if a few visit Hexbear in response?

Uncritical support to marcies crusade against Lemmy

100%, you and her are some of the best anti-transphobia warriors on the fediverse, great job! rat-salute

Anvil_Lavigne [she/her, they/them] - 1.8yr

it's how i ended up here cat-trans

@ledlecreeper27@lemmygrad.ml new survey for you

gaystyleJoker [she/her] - 1.8yr

shoutout to the 7 cis women on here

the_itsb [she/her, comrade/them] - 1.8yr

😘

not just cis, but old, too 🧓💅 I don't leave snail trails; I leave dust bunnies

thank you for your service rat-salute

Kuori [she/her, pup/pup's] - 1.8yr

hahaha

PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS [he/him, they/them] - 1.8yr

Old gang old gang

Cheers to you! xi-clap

Not old (late 20s, tbh don't consider 42 old though there's definitely a mildly intimidating age/experience gap sometimes, but if you own the label go for it) but mad respect for you rocking out here (is that how you say it in your generation?)

TBH I just had a really cool chat with a (she said she was in her 60s?) indigenous Chilean auntie who had a pretty decent power level (leftist level) at least from what I could tell. And I guess I chat with an Iranian (probably also same age range) auntie once in a while (well twice so far) as well who is pretty decent... Restored that bit of faith in IRL (imperial core) humanity that needs resuscitating every now and then tbh. Maybe in time I should try to see if they'd be interested...

I'm mostly joking about being "old," I'm in pretty good shape and health for 42 considering my socioeconomic status, geographic location, and personal and family medical history, I haven't entirely lost my cheer, and I don't think I will ever lose my curiosity, so I don't feel particularly old, except for the whole perimenopause thing

I've known incredibly wise and experienced people and astounding fools of all ages, so I try to just treat that fact about a person with as much importance as I do their style choices – it might be indicative of important information, it might not, it's just another clue about who a person really is

if you managed to bring in the aunties you've met, it would be such a huge boon to the community! how much they like it here might depend a lot on their sense of humor, though – will they think ppb is funny, if they know the background of it? (I was on the old sub, listening to the show, and watching the streams from the fair when ppb happened, so it never had any shock value for me)

chicken-bop know I can't be the only person who would love to see some older ladies posting, but most older ladies I know irl are busy Doing Stuff and barely even do traditional social media. and also they're LIB would be so cool if we could get some lefty aunties in though! keeping my fingers crossed for your efforts 🤞

I haven't entirely lost my cheer, and I don't think I will ever lose my curiosity

Hard to entirely lose your cheer so long as you're surrounded by decent people, and by the sounds of it (curiousity) you're decent people :D I can wholly relate with this bit at least, I'm bitter but not all gone. I need to get in better shape, kinda crashed hard due to (non-covid) reasons during the pandemic and have been recovering and stumbling since.

And I totally get what you mean about fools of all ages/etc. I also have the same attitude (things might be indicative, but they might not) and would like to think I generally get along well with people in general (even older fools do tend to have their lives more materially and socially in place though, and that's the distance I meant was intimidating).

My levels of avoidance based off of indicators has greatly increased though- it was already there from being Asian, increased when I realized I was trans- and then the increased racism and Sinophobia since and before the pandemic (ethnic Chinese, also as someone whose family comes from ASEAN I'm well aware what the west is trying to do in destroying/blockading the trade and cooperation there and even the history of anti-Chinese persecution which my grandparents and great-grandparents suffered), the enthusiastic fascism and warmongering across the collective west with Ukraine, and finally the live-streamed, industrial genocide in Gaza (as the worst of all, at this point TBH I'm not merely alienated but disgusted and repulsed) have cratered it. I can still fend for myself or for basic decency and do, and still treat people like people- but I just mind my own business and stick to those I know more than not.

if you managed to bring in the aunties you've met, it would be such a huge boon to the community! how much they like it here might depend a lot on their sense of humor, though – will they think ppb is funny, if they know the background of it?

True. Maybe in time, I'd probably have to at least warn them about the ppb. lea-think

Hestia [she/her, fae/faer] - 1.8yr

IRL I assume most people are cis.

On hexbear I assume most people are trans.

AcidSmiley [she/her] - 1.8yr

Around 20 people each week on this site are cis women

I'm sorry to have to bring this up again, but your survery had no instruments to accurately measure that. It once more had no option to say if you're a woman (i noticed, because that meant that i couldn't accurately state my gender until i picked "other" and used the free text field). Only "are you cis or trans" and "which pronouns do you use", which does not enable you to accurately assess people's genders. PRONOUNS =/= GENDER. Cis women could go with none / use name, comrade or they / them for opsec reasons or because they do not want to be targeted by the many misogynist weirdos on this site or because they want to normalize gender neutral language. I know several cis women IRL who at least sometimes do this in online communities. In this survery, you wouldn't know if they're women. Or she / her may simply not be the pronouns that fit them. There was at least one cis woman with hy / hym pronouns in the replies to the survey.

In future surverys, i'd abandon the approach to infer gender from pronouns, stick with the option to tick multiple boxes, but just add man and woman to the list.

good point tbh, true, edited that. i try to avoid specifics generally because people seem to hate specifics on these forms, gender is a fickle creature

Ah, i see. I think the option to tick multiple boxes does a lot to mitigate that, though. When i look at problematic examples i can think of, it's usually forms that have either "woman" or "transgender - MtF" or some shit like that as different options, where unconditional womanhood is implied to only be available to cis women. But if you have cis and trans, nonbinary and binary, inter, agender etc. all as seperate, not mutually exclusive, combinable categories, you avoid that. Like, if i want to answer truthfully, i absolutely have to pick woman because womanhood is such a core part of how my gender works, but i also can't possibly seperate it from being trans, or from existing outside of a binarist system. And with a "pick any that apply" kind of wording, you include all that. Having options that exactly describe just one specific gender identity do not really work when you're surveying a gender-diverse crowd because there's so many identities and so much potential overlap between them. So i think it's best to break this down into possible components.

Lerios [hy/hym] - 1.8yr

There was at least one cis woman with hy / hym pronouns in the replies to the survey

horror hi, glad to be causing trouble and confusing the narrative lmao 😎

but yeah i'm very keen of the idea that pronouns =/= gender, but that seems kind of hard for most people offline (even in many lgbt spaces) to get their head around. or the idea of neopronouns. god forbid you do both lmao

ngl i got wayyyyyyy more upbears and responses to that comment than i expected from a stream of consiousness/vent about misogyny and gender stereotypes and my Situation™ and i got kind of scared lol. shoutout to the encouraging replies and reading recommendations tho phoenix-bashful

::: spoiler EDIT: the thread is locked now but i typed a response to the person who asked why i still ID as a woman despite being masc (although, again, being masc or using different pronouns doesn't have anything to do with being a woman) before i realised that. may as well put it here i guess .

gender only exists to be restrictive, so I don't want anything to do with it. But I'm amab - there's no reason for camaraderie there

Gender exists to be restrictive in such a way that is designed to facilitate the exploitation of women

You're right, it is about solidarity and tbh about organising around shared concerns and dangers. When i complain about getting shit for not wearing makeup at work and such, the women in my life are fucking outraged while men i've mention it to tell me it can't be that serious. If i ever need reproductive healthcare, it can be denied to me based on the fact that i am afab, and the vast majority of people who particularly care about that are other afab people. When i go out at night i keep a very close eye on my friends and we make sure we all know where everyone is and to get home together, because, due to the fact that we're women, we are much more likely to be put in danger in that situation -- and when I have been in that kind of danger, the people (even strangers) that have helped me have always been women, the people far more likely to know how it feels and how it happens. When my manager harassed a girl at work, it was women who organised a response while the men on the team said shit about overreactions and "the benefit of the doubt" and so on.

There are a lot of situations where women and/or afab people look out for each other, either at large or individually. I have no reason to move away from the people with whom i have shared class interest due to shared oppression. :::

Lenins_Cat_Reincarnated - 1.8yr

::: spoiler reply to your spoiler As a transmasc I very much relate to that and it’s one of the reasons why it took me so long to realise I was trans and why I’m still struggling with my current selfidentification. I use he/him because right now it’s gender affirming to me but I think in the future when I’m more comfortable with how I look that might change. No transmasc around me uses he/him because they do not want to have that in common with the people that used to oppress and harass them before they transitioned. I also feel much more connection to women and people afab than cis men because cis men just do not understand and often belittle the oppression that plays a huge role in most women’s lives. :::

WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them] - 1.8yr

Is the opsec reason that valid in an anonymous survey? Unless they think the admins would use that info to target them if they left any specific comments or they thought IP might be used to identify them. Seems like it would be pretty uncommon and might catch as many eggs as it does cis people lying for opsec reasons.

Still, certainly better not to make such assumption than to make those assumptions. Especially with options like comrade that can be appealing regardless of gender identity.

Is the opsec reason that valid in an anonymous survey?

The survery asked for the pronouns used on hexbear.

You can always lie very-smart

To clarify, by opsec i meant "avoiding personal information in publicly visible posts", not "being afraid to get tracked through the survey". And when i look at the breakdown of cis pronouns in the results, there's a lot of he /hims, but also a bunch of different ones. Sure, cis women are extremely rare here, and they'd still be if all of the cis people with gender neutral pronouns where women, but i can't help being nitpicky because i'm an awful nerd about surveying.

nerd yeah its pretty fun wanna help with bouncing question ideas for next time?

sounds good tbh, feel free to hit me up when you do something like this again

There's no way to view IP on the Cryptpad AFAIK, and the website its on doesn't log IP, its only in ram long enough to finish downloading a request, and even then its anonymized. Owner of the site is trans I'm in one of her group chats. I also edited out timestamps and comments in the raw data.

If you did the survey through VPN or tor browser there is essentially no risk

That doesn't mean a paranoid user would trust such claims. Also, if you use the same VPN IP to access hexbear and the survey, a paranoid person could worry about the linking of the two. Of course if you are worried enough about that, it seems like an easy thing to avoid.

Either way, I personally wouldn't have been worried about anonymization. I just didn't take it because my accounts aren't on hexbear, even though it's the community I post on the most, so I wasn't sure if I was welcomed or not. Guess a question about whether you have a hexbear account or not could be included alongside the demographic?

Yeah if you're that paranoid you probably shouldn't be on the internet or should just use tor for everything. Everyone knows I'm a filthy queer pinko in my town and nothings really come of it shrug-outta-hecks Even my boss knows I'm a commie, which is funny

whogivesashit @lemmygrad.ml - 1.8yr

This is true. I know of at least one cis woman on the site that doesn't use she/her, though I don't think they answered the survey.

the jokes about Xi save us and defense/denial of worker/minority abuse in China make us look bad, (etc etc) No different than libs defending Klanmala "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" (etc etc) Han supremacism no more acceptable than white supremacism (no shit), Dengism killed wholesome chungus communism, China surveillance state

Wew. Also no one is defending worker/minority abuse (the surveillance state in China I will defend, let's not kid ourselves socialist societies are under siege, were born under siege, etc etc) or claiming China is a utopia. And comparing support of AES to Klanmala support is straight up lib shit (and crying about Dengism is both ignoring dialectal materialism, and your western lowkey chauvinist, dogmatist opinion of AES). cringe cringe

As for the comment about transmisogynism (while I'm not the one who mentioned it), somewhat yeah. And there's def an issue of orientalist attitudes towards anime (as someone who is Asian), there is shit but wypipo/westerners' and other cultures' shit has its own issues. "Asian (specifically Asian) cartoon bad because (insert stereotypes here)" is tired y'all

And yeah I called out people who posted their opinions, anonymously, who I don't know who they are... deal with it

I am once again begging anti-Dengists to explain Historical Materialism denguin

FunkyStuff [he/him] - 1.8yr

Never Stop Dunking

rat-salute-2

AssortedBiscuits [they/them] - 1.8yr

White supremacy is worse for the simple reason that it has been institutionalized in multiple countries and is the bedrock of capitalism. Han supremacy is limited to individuals. The PRC hasn't institutionalized Han supremacy and in fact has taken steps to combat it. Why else would the One Child policy exclude ethnic minorities from it? Like, you could find the mass graves of dead Indigenous children in residential schools. Not sure how anything the PRC has ever done is comparable to that.

100% agreed, from the start the CPC has been explicitly anti-Han supremacy. And all the cracKKKers and cracKKKer-worshippers are hideous for comparing their crimes- of genocide across the majority of entire continents, of supremacist rule across the entire planet (even in regions not directly colonized like Iran, Japan, Ethiopia, the interior of China, etc- the "extraterritoriality" clauses imposed for instance), to whatever chauvinism may exist in China (which they at least have genuinely worked against).

Everything they accuse China of is projection. I've lived in the prairies and was mostly raised rural there, and I've seen the conditions of the indigenous peoples there. The majority of first nations people I've known- including childhood friends, classmates, etc- were all adopted by white, Christian families, some of them rather questionable at that. I've seen (not extensively, granted) the sheer poverty of the reserves. I've seen and heard the anti-indigenous racism here, the squatter-mentality of settlers whose biases then naturally go on to translate to large numbers of missing (and "missing") indigenous women- and men- which translate to police brutality, to the cases of coerced sterilization and other medical malpractices as gain attention now and then, etc...

CracKKKerdom truly has no shame, no remorse, and absolutely no moral restraint whatsoever (nor concept of morals, simply excuses to justify the maximal amount of violence and exploitation against other humans). The entire west needs de-Nazification/to have imperialism purged from their societies, and by their regimes' derangement they might very well force the rest of humanity to go in and thoroughly purge the illness- I'd hope not, but it's not out of the question and increasingly it seems likely.

After looking at the responses, I could see that tl;dr whining is right above the "Hexbear dot com is full of Burgerlander crackers" lol

pretty much lol

carpoftruth [any, any] - 1.8yr

the jokes about Xi save us

I am not joking

xi-reactionary-spotted

nuke rat-salute-2

anyone bitching and moaning about china needs to look at who's building green energy and who's not. we can only afford to argue about capitalism vs communism vs sTaTe CaPITAliSM if there's a biosphere worth living in. western chauvinists can shut the fuck up with their treatbrained critiques about 'omg china also has a carceral system so therefore both sides'

Great work! Re: low cis women, I know one of them IRL, and she's trying to basically wean off all Social Media, so she very rarely posts or comments here (but she did respond to the survey). Not sure how to get more ciswomen or transmen to join, honestly, but it's great to see that everyone feels safe here!

Edit: it's clear that misogyny is one of the most commonly pointed out issues with this site, based on reading replies and input from other comrades. I am fully in favor of a purge, even if it would be unpopular, it's better to confront issues and remove the problem elements. It's important for every user to feel as safe and comfortable in every bit of this site (except the EM/POC community threads for whites and trans community threads for cis, obviously safe spaces would be maintained as such). Maybe another weekly megathread as a safe space? A Feminism community sounds cool too and would be a good place to hold that, I think. Maybe include comm sidebars with feminist literature and theory? Just spitballing here.

On that note, if anyone has felt that I have been guilty of misogyny, I'd greatly appreciate being re-educated so I can be a better comrade and make this a safer space for women, enbies, and other non-masculine comrades.

NoLeftLeftWhereILive - 1.8yr

Also techically I at least am one of those "has lived a life of a cis woman" who answered "maybe" types that might be able to voice that maybe only in a space like this. I am thinking of a kind of autigender thing and the way women mask and have to mask their identities.

Yep, the person I am referring to doesn't list her pronouns, she tries to mask more online more often than not. Same concept.

Yeah it makes sense.

I also wonder if in a space like this the high number of maybes reflects the gender in flux that sort of isn't either ready for a signifier or just fully refuses one, which I think my own identification is becoming. So there could be a lot of people in motion in there who might have at one time answered differently or might answer differently somewhere else.

Plus I think leftism itself helps people to reconsider things like gender so in leftist spaces I would assume people will be selecting more open categories.

Yep, leftism reframes existing cultural norms, hence why more people tend to reject them in leftist communities compared to others

EstraDoll [she/her, he/him] - 1.8yr

YOU CAN JUST CALL ME OUT BY NAME, COWARD

Tomboymoder [she/her, pup/pup's] - 1.8yr

oppression

Seasonal_Peace [he/him] - 1.8yr

I have recommended hexbear to two cis women and they did not like it. Both are socialst, but they said that hexbear is "pro russia" and "pro Iran"... typical western "socialists"

trans-sad

I get it

your friends are pro-genocide i guess

hey look I can be needlessly reductive also

I guess you are right. Anti-genocide but anti-restistance does not work.

buh [she/her, any] - 1.8yr

you can tell it's from a leftist forum because one of the genders is a whole paragraph

TankieTanuki [he/him] - 1.8yr

Practically no cis-women wtf

yeah maybe around 20 per week, though a fun fact is we have around 24-30+ trans he/hims on here which was much more than i thought!

nothx [he/him] - 1.8yr

So, 49% of us are being sent to re-education camps? When do the busses leave?

BashfulBob [none/use name] - 1.8yr

Bimbofication for some, little Trans Flags for others.

astronaut-1 this is the re-education camp

Ram_The_Manparts [he/him] - 1.8yr

I heard we're walking

bortsampson [he/him, any] - 1.8yr

But I was promised trains!

Abandon all hope

Mindfury [he/him] - 1.8yr

bus

excuse me train-shining

I’m sorry sir, that’s why I need re-education, lol.

khizuo [ze/zir] - 1.8yr

I put “maybe” as my answer for if I would recommend hexbear to my trans friends. It’s still true, but I think that because of the answer I put I didn’t get to talk about the caveats I would have to tell them first, so I’ll put them here. It’s really more of a “maybe leaning towards no” answer for the following reasons.

::: spoiler misogyny, anti-fatness/weight, anti-plural shit

The obvious one that other people have already mentioned — misogyny. There is a culture of misogyny that permeates through this site. It has honestly turned me off from engaging with the majority of it and now I mostly stick to the trans mega. We seriously need a purge, and said purge would affect a lot of long-time posters and be very very unpopular (though not among us trans mega folks!)
There is a lot of discussion of weight on this site, and while it is usually under a spoiler it is still overwhelmingly about losing weight and that can be a triggering topic for a lot of people. It has, in fact, started affecting me and my own relationship to my body in a bad way. I know that weight can be a source of dysphoria and it’s not on me to dictate what people do about their bodies, but also constantly talking about dieting and wanting to lose weight creates a culture of anti-fatness whether we want it to or not. I think the solution to that is to have conversations about anti-fatness and not to ignore that it exists and is the primary driver behind dieting culture, which hexbear currently does. As a caveat: I have thin privilege, but I would definitely be very wary of recommending hexbear to the fat trans people in my life.
I have seen anti-system shit on hexbear before and I do not feel that this is a safe space to openly discuss plurality or present as plural. I think the trans mega is much better than the rest of the site, but unfortunately it doesn’t exist in a vacuum from the rest of the site. I would be very wary of recommending hexbear to my trans plural and system friends. :::

piggybacking for a moment. i peruse the modlog quite a bit & have seen a depressing amount of body shaming & even ableism from prominent users. i, too, am the comfiest within the confides of the mega.

i'm a system, even if i don't present as such here. so cat-trans

I have thin privilege, but I would definitely be very wary of recommending hexbear to the fat trans people in my life.

As an admittedly currently fat trans person, someone's weight wouldn't play a role in whether I'd recommend them or not. People aren't shitting on others for weight here, but having conversations about wanting to lose weight (or gain weight, for those seriously underweight) is something pretty much universal (and not just in chud/etc ways, health is also a universal reason). That's not to disregard that it's affected you personally, and maybe (since I can imagine it would affect many people) we should be requiring spoilers for such discussions, etc... (no opinion/not necessary for myself IMO)

The misogyny and anti-system shit is totally and utterly unjustified, though, and something absolutely has to be done about both.

Thank you for bringing up the weight thing. I have been meaning to effort post about this for some time, but haven't dared do it yet.

I think there is also an issue with a kind of trust in a linear progress of modernity when it comes to medical professionals and medical science that maybe comes from privilege. There are also all kinds of neoliberal self-control/self-betterment things that I have seen here that ignore the systems we live in and how they are different for non-normative bodies. These have made me very uncomfortable as a person with an uterus especially. The treatment fat bodies get in this world and from medical experts especially is systemically violent and the "issue" of fatness itself can be contested. For example NovoNordisk funds the researchers in o*esity and it's just a huge thing of racism, pathriarchy and medical violence that leftists should do better with.

This for sure is one of the more unwelcoming things here for me personally.

Bisexual_Cookie [comrade/them, any] - 1.8yr

pardon my ignorance, but what do you mean with the "anti-system shit"? I'm confused

what gender type/category best describes you

Dyke and a half

:wheeze:

Person [he/him] - 1.8yr

Hexbear is a little weird/embarrassing

gramxi [they/them] - 1.8yr

I wish the recommendation question had the option to pick "yes and it's a little bit weird/embarrassing"

Gay_Tomato [they/them, it/its] - 1.8yr

Acute_Engles [he/him, any] - 1.8yr

So many posts about piss and pissing

Yukiko - 1.8yr

Misogyny may be a bannable offense, but it most certainly bleeds through often enough that there are days where I feel very uncomfortable on this website. Some of the threads that pop up from time to time are absolutely disgusting.

Very important to report when a post makes you uncomfortable! We'll send out a death squad quickly!

I have.

Sorry you feel that way. Could you let me know what kind of comments you're referring to? I want to make sure I avoid any behavior that makes you and others uncomfortable. fidel-salute-big

I've spent some time away from this website and recently made a new account for it. There have been no offenders recently. In the past, it was always those fucking dating threads or anything involving dating advice for men and my reports were only heeded half the fucking time.

Thanks for sharing that. I will make an effort to report "advice" that's not genuinely well-meaning and sincere.

I looked up "dating" in the search and found this. I think everyone that says OPs actions are ok should at least be banned for some time. Honestly I'm disgusted by the he/him in the thread.

glans [it/its] - 1.8yr

wow that thread is fucking terrible. for a bunch of communists these people sure like the idea of owning a woman.

imogen_underscore [it/its, she/her] - 1.8yr

yep this was the most recent nightmare thread for misogyny. it's a problem that bans don't get thrown out for it readily enough.

EllenKelly [comrade/them] - 1.8yr

I havent been looking outside of the news mega much lately, your responses in that thread are really good. That must have been a horrible couple of hours, thank you.

thank you for saying so. yeah i really got my hackles up that day, so many people arguing in bad faith. i actually had to step back from the site for a little bit because it put me in such a foul mood. misogyny is gonna be a problem in basically any online space, obviously especially those where men exist. it's quite a bad problem here and imo not addressed with a heavy enough hand a lot of the time. not sure what to do about that though.

RomCom1989 [he/him, any] - 1.8yr

No idea if it's the right place to do this,but I will own up to my rather poorly worded tangent there and admit I had horse blinders on

My thinking was simply that it's shitty to not disclose that to someone first before starting that sort of a relationship and that in a purely hypothetical sense, disregarding all the potential of the man to be an abuser that it would be more ethical to tell that to them,also I half heatedly tried to acknowledge the power imbalance in any cishet relationship and the multitude of other factors that might lead to someone seeking an extramarital affair and I did not treat the matter as a real world scenario,but as a hypothetical occurring in a vacuum,which is not at all the way something like this should be discussed

I did not and do not believe the OP handled it correctly at all,but I am particularly bothered by my usage of the word "Excuse" which did not convey my feelings about the matter properly at all and I would like to express my most sincere apologies to any women and femme presenting folks that potentially have been made to feel unsafe as a consequence of my poorly worded tangent

I did not consider that my words would make people feel unsafe and I do not wish to cause any potential emotional harm to people,so I would be willing to eat up a ban for what I said

When you see a misogynist, call them a misogynist, I'll back you up. No we we not be entertaining debate perverts.

I still get pretty nervous about being dogpiled when I call bullshit out, but it's always been taken pretty well. I know its exhausting, but if people arent held up to a mirror theyre never going to learn, and for the most part people here will listen.

It took years to work through this shit myself and I'm still not perfect obviously. Its embarrassing when it happens, but its good when someone tells you off.

This goes for anything.

At least report them, shout out to the mods.

I do report them and those reports are rarely heeded. And I'm not going to engage these fuckheads when I'm a woman and they're being misogynist.

Luna - 1.8yr

hexbear-trans

pooh [she/her, love/loves] - 1.8yr

This is amazing work. Thank you for putting this all together. Care-Comrade

Do I understand correctly that there are appoximately 7 x 3 = 21 cis women on this whole site?

ETA: I didn't originally count the ones who had she/her as the secondary pronoun. So that would be 10 x 3 = 30 cis women.

TerminalEncounter [she/her] - 1.8yr

Side effect of descent from reddit unfortunately imo.

idk I think reddit has more cis women than that.

lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them] - 1.8yr

weird corollary, we also only have 6 x 3 = 18 trans men on the site, so a total of maybe 40ish AFAB binary-gender people on the site. there are likely more if we count nonbinary people and those who choose not to disclose their pronouns, but oof, even with an extremely optimistic guess that doubles the number above, we're still looking at under 5% of active users being AFAB.

damn, I sorta want to start a struggle session thread for the prevalence of AMAB people on this site. it's really bizarre to me, as a transfeminine enby, how being in, or not in, online spaces like lemmy, reddit, discord, and such tends to stick through transition.

Counting everyone in "are you cis gender? Yes, by pronoun" who doesn't include he/him or as one of their choices, it is 52 x 3 = 156. It's 9% of responses at the absolute most optimistic. But there isn't really any reason to believe that would be the case.

In terms of people in the "No, by pronoun" and "maybe, by pronoun" sections, I don't think we can really infer anything about AMAB vs AFAB without specifically asking. You could find any combination in reality. An AFAB person can use she/her pronouns but not identify as cisgender. No reason why not. IME AFAB people are more likely to identify as not cisgender than AMAB people. In some situations she/they is basically the default.

mathemachristian [he/him] - 1.8yr

This could be for a myriad of reasons, such as cis people being afraid trans people will hunt them down in the public thread and assassinate them.

Was looking to get my ear pierced anyway.

WhatDoYouMeanPodcast [comrade/them] - 1.8yr

There's a small percentage chance that you'll crack an egg with a badpost, but it's never 0.

anarchoilluminati [comrade/them] - 1.8yr

Also anonymous my ass, y'all will know exactly who this is :3

You're anonymous to me, Comrade. stalin-heart

Have fun and take care out there.

infuziSporg [e/em/eir] - 1.8yr

more questions for cises

Quizzies for cissies

CantaloupeAss [comrade/them] - 1.8yr

This should be submitted as a masters thesis

Average traa post very-smart

Edie [it/its, she/her] - 1.8yr

Allow more than two sets of pronouns

My people! (None of those are me, I didn't answer)

Speaker [e/em/eir] - 1.8yr

Never thought I'd say this, but we really gotta start breaking up all that pink. Really funny counterpoint to the NB side of the chart. Let a million splits bloom!

And to all the "custom pronouns please" respondents: an attempt was made, and it was almost exclusively used to be shitty about neopronouns. A nice request process would be pleasant, though.