As a reminder, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.

New Announcement, public matrix chat: https://hexbear.net/post/3088303

here to abuse my mod powers and say

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY HEXBEAR! Here's to another four years of loving our transgender comrades

Also if anyone wants to be a mod hit me up, always looking for more to join our evil transgender cabal. only criteria is to be a socialist and trans/gender diverse/not a cissie etc. would be really excited to see some trans mascs join!

I really underestimated how transfemmes are treated on the broader internet. I came to understand myself here, and kinda assumed that this place is representative.

With it's acceptance and large presence of trans feminine people, and lack of inane bullshit, but actually this seems to be the exception (apart from like small discord servers).

This is a really good place and much more exceptional in it's protection of trans people than I thought.

I think it's very funny that as a small child I was like the textbook example of autism and yet nobody suspected I was autistic, probably because I was not a boy lol. Just goes to show how gender interacts with the medical field I guess.

Late at night, thinking about how they put lil trans people in my phone and computer for me to chat with

how am i supposed to girlbuy new girlclothes if i keep having to girlpay girlbills

Sometimes I go on trans spaces on tumblr, and there is so much bullshit and wreckers and stuff there. I didn't know how good we have it here.

The "discourse" currently is about how egg jokes are harmful to gnc men, and don't respect their identities.

50% of the time when i upbear someone its just so they know i read it so they dont feel like they were ignored

boymoding for safety reasons :sicko-wistful:

boymoding to be the prettiest twink at the house party

My baby sister just called me sister on Facebook.

I started crying it felt so good.

Ok so update to my last post: im probably gay.

I always thought I was bisexual, maybe leaning towards men even. But then I decided to seriously date men (and hook up with one also lol), and like idk. I feel like the parts that I liked were just things that made me feel feminine, like the contrast between our bodies or when they take me out and I feel like a woman on a date with a man. I'm sure straight women also enjoy those things, but I'm not sure that Im actually very attracted to male bodies. And maybe I don't actually like it when they touch me.

But what really convinced me lol is that I also matched with another trans person and I'm way, way more interested in them than any guy I've talked to. Like I didn't totally get their gender at first cause they didn't say much about it, but just my instinctual reaction was "this person is really pretty and I want to get to know them". It turns out they're like transfem non-binary. We got coffee the other day and Im going to see them again on Friday, which im like really we excited about.

But even if that doesn't work out it seems like pretty good evidence. Like my reaction to men has just been increasingly meh and as soon as I randomly found someone who wasn't a man I like instantly had a crush on them lol. So yeah, being gay is ok I guess.

So apparently my entire issue with stardew valley being boring was because I was playing as a guy. Silly me, by playing as a girl I'm around 100x more invested in her cute little life.

I wonder if this has any real life implications Will certainly be interesting to see.

::: spoiler blahaj instance I made a post on the trans blahaj comm about how the mega here got 3k comments and it was very highly upvoted, of course it attracted a ton of transphobic trolls (who likely aren't trans, shocker) that don't get removed and Ada is talking about how its cool and good to include fascist and exclusionary trans people in the comments because Hexbear is mean to them, oh and also being a socialist trans person is fringe, apparently. New to me! :::

Honestly 50/50 on just using the account I made here way back but haven't really used. I like checking in on everyone but it seems that all the other LGBT spots on fedi are ghost towns or filled with clowns. Occasionally theres like, one small thread on blahaj thats good.

Intellectually I know that the majority of people in the world are cisgender, but I still can't quite wrap my head around that fact.

/c/traa, the most policed place in the world? (3 new mods)

I broke up with my gf 💔

Nooo, the old megathread got locked before I could send my reply

My job's token cis guy got promoted out to another department. All my coworkers are trans now, cept the boss.

We become more powerful by the day.

When someone in a trans shitposting community posts a femboy meme in which two girls joke that they're actually boys, and a few trans women point out that it's a problematic post because it implies that trans women are men, and then defenders are like "but femboys can be trans!"

SHUT. THE FUCK. UP.

But then when you make egg jokes about femboys you're evil for implying they could be trans.

i will gay you and everyone you know

made the mistake of going to another instance HOLY SHIT I HATE LIBERALS

If they did the hexbear dating app, I'm pretty sure it'd end up like a middle school dance except everyone is just gonna do the dating app equivalent of hanging out next to the punch bowl never having asked anyone else out

You all treating me like a girl makes me feel so comfy inside I was actually was crying as I fell asleep last night I was so happy. There's no point to this post other then I LOVE MY TRANS COMRADES

New account, same old me (good_girl)

entering a new era of trans posting.

---

thinking about it the other day and i realized that while i never connected with my culture/heritage when I thought I was cis, i'm more openly embracing it as a woman.

Well comrades, I couldn't wait a week for the nurse to show me how. Watched a YouTube video on subcutaneous injections.

And injected my first dose of estradiol about ten minutes ago.

Feeling a lot of good things atm.

(CW deliberate misgendering, censored deadnaming, anti-autism comment)

Vivian Jenna Wilson, Elon's trans daughter speaks out and calls out his lies about her.

Can we somehow get in touch with and have her come visit ?

(Love the little friendly rivalry between the trans / news megas lol)

My boobs are becoming visible through a hoodie. Honestly making me kinda nervous cause I'm still boymoding at work

::: spoiler Talking about depression, mild mentions of bottom surgery Depression has wound up hard the last couple of days. Still hasn't fully gone away since starting up 3 weeks ago. Dysphoria decided to pop up again for the first time since bottom surgery as well. It's excessively bad right now, too. Shan't get into it because I really don't want to trigger others' dysphoria, which is partially why I've been sent into this spiral. I always find myself wanting to help people out with their issues here, but it takes its mental toll on me over time. And well, I probably shouldn't be trying nowadays all things considered. I genuinely should take a break, but I don't want to leave you folks here. This is a great community and I love all of you. :::

Local communist bar has a pretty cool regular transfem event but also everyone there is so flirty and it's awkward constantly being like "oh i have a bf".

Living with trans people is so cool

Since y'all are making it to a trauma mega thread I'd have a go

::: spoiler spoiler From late primary school to the end of middle school kids used to bully me for having autism by triggering me, like they'd scratch plastic next to my ear, spit on me, call me stuff that I didn't like, treat me like a child and other things that make spaz out. :::

Filling out a disability application and it asks for your fucking agab. Quick, why? I had half a mind to do it up wrong but egh.

I look at this shit and I think of tbh. You were so right, about everything, please come back!!!! We still need you, sad as it is!!!

So my best friend, who has know I was trans for a few months, is over at my house tonight. Which is normal, he comes over all the time. What's new is that I'm still in girlmode. And chat, I'm having the time of my life. This is the first time I've girlmoded while someone was over.

Big update! I finally got a place to rent! I even got room dibs!

The place isn't perfect but it's nicer than any other I've seen so far. And I'm just so, so relieved to actually have a place finally.

Beyond that today's been a very good day too! I got to get off work early to go to a bar with my coworkers, I finished the long project I've been working on, and, most importantly of all, my hair was extra pretty!

I'm even giving myself little treats (shitty spicy ramen) to feel even better~

Computer girls and guys and enbies, I call ye!

I'm building my first computer. All the components are in. I have no idea how to make sure it's cool (as in temp lol). I've never built one

::: spoiler intersex stuff and hormone issues i’m intersex and have various health conditions and it all combines to create a situation where i must be on T, and i can only be on very limited amounts of E. i’m still trying to find the right E levels that won’t cause me problems.

this is kinda annoying and i wish i could change it but there is nothing i can really do without having a surgery i can’t afford and don’t really want. :::

No training! Only voice!

::: spoiler parents /derogatory My mom walked into my room this morning and told me she was going to star throwing things out of the house and that included my room. I told her that it’s my room and my stuff and I have a right to decide what to keep. She basically responded with “lol no you’re too mentally ill for that.”

Chat, what the fuck was that? :::

People are a lot nicer to me now than before I transitioned, which is nice, but it feels like a lot of them also assume I'm dumb af, which never happened when I was a "guy".

I kinda expected it from men, but what's caught me off guard is that a lot of women do it too.

I’m gonna be honest, pretty much half of my motivation lately is just from the idea of showing up to my sister’s wedding in half a year as a pretty girl and shocking all my family.

Wanna travel across the world handing out estrogen vials like some sorta trans mansa musa.

is there anything better than typing a journal entry into the text box and then deleting it before you publish it to the world

::: spoiler waffling about orchitectomy stuff I haven't made the call yet but Oh man, I'm probably gonna have to inform my dad that I'll be down for a couple days or weeks or whatever due to orchi, holy shit. What am I even gonna do about that?

Further: my endo is cool, but is the surgeon or whoever gonna be super fucking weird about it? Is every staff member I interact with gonna be super fucking weird about it?

For a split second I had hoped that being more chill about my anatomy now would help, but talking to basically-randoms, or like, your dad, about your body still seems really unfun. :::

Feeling more confident every time I go out looking for women's clothes

okay, my face doesn't look any more femme but it's clearly a lot softer looking. My roommate wasn't lying about me looking different

::: spoiler some sad feelings around motherhood, rambling ive been doing trauma release exercises and meditation recently and theyve brought up so much shit that ive been repressing. like i think i finally unlocked lesbian yearning and holy fuck i can barely handle it!! ive never felt this full body loneliness before, its almost incapacitating. and ive also started to grieve the fact that i’ll never be a mother unless a lot of shit (physical health, finances, mental health) gets magically better over the next few years and it just sucks. it sucks a lot lol

---

:::

Weird how searching up top surgery info can make your tits weigh ten more pounds.

I left

Discovery: tank tops are rad (especially with room for sideboob or if you wear a sports bra that's fun too) because I sweat in them way less.

In a t-shirt, even a men's 4XL one, my underarms become a fuckin swamp, I drip sweat even in moderate summer temperatures. I bought a bunch of tanktops a while back though, both men's and women's, from medium to XL (silly sizes) and it's far less likely I'll sweat to death. I am now in Tanktop and Sweatpants Gang; I am a small shirt big pants queer now!

love to wake up in the middle of the night and see that ive been lying on my tablet again

it's not MY fault that the fanfics are just too good to put down

The Thing sustaining me rn is that soon i'll be living on an Anarchist commune in another country. 120% tired, 200% done w/ this shithole.

It’s good to have peace of mind when doing injections now knowing it is actually working

Long hair feels so good, even if I am constantly keeping my bangs out of my eyes.

Goodnight hexbear, a good end to a good day of girl vibing I love being a girl, I'm not going back. I think I'm going to wear my hoodie and pajamas tonight, it's been a few days and I deserve to double up on the :comfy:

Just wanted to post out into the void that being trans fucking rocks actually.

Wearing one of my biggest t-shirts and it's long enough that it's almost dress-like now that I'm smaller. Feels good.

Damn I'm really just walking out the house like not trying and people talking about how cute my outfits are. Sorry I can't help it I'm just really cute 😔👯

My therapist said to reach out to other queer people. She said Hexbear didn't count as homework, but was still very worthwhile. I even asked here how to do my homework, because she told me I should check. How are y'all doing?

elon's estranged daughter is cool as fuck.

she sounds like she posts here

Why can’t I look like an anime dog girl!!??

Hey trans thread, I just helped a gal amend her birth certificate. Being trans is alright, but helping other trans people? That's the real good shit.

Working a culturally-specific job is like the best move I've ever made for my own emotional wellbeing.

Chat, my wife tells me that my voice sounds good. She is obviously a liar, how can I get her to stop?

I also have not been misgendered in like two years now despite my voice NOT sounding good. This is clearly a lie, how can I get reality & random people outside to stop?

::: spoiler actual non-goofy post I goofed a little with voice training and I can sing along okay to some cool albums (Eye to the Telescope, Dreamboat Annie) even though it shreds my throat if I go too long. I found what I think is an autism problem, which is that I have really poor control over my larynx and stuff. I think it's inconsistent Idk.

Doxxing I know but I should post a vocaroo where I read the first chapter of Nevada lmao :::

Yesterday was my first full day since starting HRT Friday. And it was mostly amazing! Chronic pain symptoms are way down. It was 90% the tension of not being myself. Being in high alert trauma mode for literally decades.

::: spoiler trauma triggers But my trauma did get triggered yesterday. Went to a beach to hang out with some friends in a more conservative neighborhood. A lot of macho energy and drinking. I may have felt safer boy moding, but then again, I boymoded for decades in these kinds of situations and still had trauma triggered.

Felt the neck tension return when I walked to the bathroom with my girlfriend. It's still pretty tight but I'm feeling safe now and going to do my morning Qi Gong at the lake... back in my liberal little bubble. :::

Slept really well (not the norm but hopefully the new norm). I think I was letting go of a lot of things in my sleep.

And I was able to cuddle with my gf all night without the male sex drive driving me nuts in the morning!

Feeling like I'm micro dosing Molly.

Oh... And made some new trans friends yesterday too!

Life is good today. Thanks again comrades for holding space here :)

Posting here so you guys and gals can win, I hate the news mega sm.

I can’t bring myself to ask anyone for help

getting bottom surgery so i can fulfill my lifelong dream of wearing a packer

trans people will be 23 and walk up to you and say "I'm 31, actually" and pull out their ID that makes them older than they really are. No girl, you're not a day over 25, stop lying, you do NOT look remotely that old

::: spoiler navel gazing, cw discussion of sex related stuff ::: spoiler I'm having a whole day today, a lot going on internally.

I guess maybe it's being NB (again) or else I've had some kind of internal seeing-the-light moment, but I have pleasant, weird and new perceptions of myself and my expressions and a lot of things I do.

If you asked me six months ago what I thought of being touched below the belt, I would probably have said "don't even fucking think about it". Now though, I can honestly say that I have had sex without any real dysphoria, which in itself feels weird. I've been a dysphoric little bitch my entire life, and now it's just... fine? I did not feel the need to instantly pull up the covers or whatever afterword. I'm not convinced that my junk bothers me in sexual terms. Cool?? Could I have spent the last decade not suffering if I'd just forsaken binary genders?????? Did it really have that much of an impact on my self-perception and everything??? I guess so...

To be fair, part of this is all that excruciating trauma processing I did a couple megathreads ago =) My mind and its stream of consciousness will still float away and think irrelevant things if I let it, but having put in all the work to actively rein that shit in means I can think clearly about whatever is currently going on, ask myself what I want, what I'm gonna do. I feel ridiculously clear headed now; whereas before I would barely speak, I have a lot less trouble expressing what I want. Maybe I will be ready to do something funny and kinky at some point?

TL;DR yeag :::

More sappy posting about being gendered correctly on this funny bear website.

Someone referred to me as her the other day and literally can't stop thinking about it and how happy it makes me feel.

::: spoiler struggle session talk Sorry for lashing out at everyone, yesterday.
Sometimes it just feels like I am only viewed as this like...charity case that has to be guided or condescended to and everything I say is wrong.
I was still kind of sensitive about the whole thing from a few days ago, so when I was trying to have a genuine conversation with Ash, but Smiley just comes along with what felt to me a very pithy and hostile and unproductive comment just targeting me and basically (in my eyes) calling me a transphobe it really hurt my feelings.

I'm grateful one of the mods eventually did remove the comment, but at the time it just felt like anything I said was under such intense scrutiny, but anything anyone said to me was fair game.
Like I would be chastised for calling someone delusion (which I shouldn't have done), but people had free reign to call me or liken me to fascists or phrenologists and transphobes.
Which to me is really hurtful.

And seeing all the upbears those comments get just kind of makes or made me feel like I was just surrounded by people who hate me, when this server should feel welcoming.
The anonymous nature of those upbears just kind of increasing my paranoia and making me lash out at everyone.
The only person I knew I was upset with (and who seemed to hate me) was Smiley so I made a post saying she should block me because I didn't want her interacting with me.
The way I did this wasn't very calm or mature, even when I tried to be more level-headed about it after my first comment was removed.
It probably could have/should have been a DM.
I kind of wish it had been because I really did not appreciate her claiming I purposefully misgendered her because I have a habit of using singular they.
She knew I was already sensitive about her previous comments that, in my mind, called me a transphobe. So her making such an accusation felt very purposeful and like she was further trying to upset me, and worse, manipulative like she was trying to get everyone to hate me.

That could or could not be the case, but that's how it felt to me at the time, for what it's worth I am sorry if it genuinely upset you that I used they.
I'm not really trying to dig up the drama, I just want to explain my side of things.

:::

drinking rum, watching two people on youtube sparring with katanas using longsword techniques and kinda wishing i had a gf

drinking always does this to me, need to stop goddamnit

So estrogen makes your skin softer right? What the fuck is gonna happen to my hands then dude. I have had soft sensitive baby hands since childhood that turn red and hot when there's like any significant strain put on them. Skins gonna slough off on making contact with solid matter or something

::: spoiler blahaj zone, racism, transphobia? https://lemmy.ml/pictrs/image/45ed1401-dbf1-4ee8-a65b-9dec68ba66ff.png

blahaj zone continuing to be special. this is a mod on blahaj btw. this was in a thread about musk and his daughter but apparently was referencing something else as well?

:::

Shower last evening had me genuinely 'ing and I can't talk about it with anyone without sounding crazy

Unfortunately for me I am not good at pretending nothing happened when something happened

Send hugs I guess lmaooo fuck

Dysphoria hoodie that gives you dysphoria

I turned a redpill youtube thumbnail trans

Incorporating leggings into my wardrobe has prompted me to buy a little bag for all my pockets stuff! I'm having this moment of realization that I move more freely when I don't have pockets full of STUFF

wife: I'm happy to be alive! what did you do to me?? ahhhhhhh

I can fix her, but it actually worked

the amount of dating drama the heterosexual can get into pales in comparison to the humble polyamorous trans girl

Was it a huge tactical error to be honest with the gubmint about my gender on a disability application? I just realised I have no idea if this will disadvantage me or whatever, or if it even matters. Like, are they gonna be fuckers?

Need to find a local trans discord that isn't so horny all the time. Like compliments are pretty nice but I have a bf!

So trans people having a higher incidence of Autism and mental disorders is legit right? My therapist gave me one of those eval questionnaires for OCD and apparently I do be obssessing (not so much compulsing, although she said it is still possible to have one and not the other)

One of these days my gf is going to slip up and I’m going to have to have sex with Shadow the Hedgehog

My cat stepped on my boob

https://lemmygrad.ml/pictrs/image/ccade10e-1f0b-44d9-bfef-ad0fbe365ed9.jpeg

Context: https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/1e94uqy/taking_recreational_hrt_as_a_cis_man_dumb_idea/

Not the first time someone has posted something like this, but this one's funny

Damn it feels good to be a trans woman 😎

chat, what color should I dye my hair? ridiculous colors only, I’m not going to dye my hair a natural color. I’m aspiring to [brightly colored hair] and pronouns.

My breasts have felt sorer and sorer the last few days and today they legit hurt like they used to the first couple months on E, what gives? I'm over 6 months in now, I thought I was done with the super sore era.

this instance is way better than libshithole i came from

The transfem urge to take over the world.

feeling good. glad to have people around me who actually see and understand who i am and what i'm doing

My subscription to traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns is still pending, can someone get on it and accept it? /s

BLEGH I woke up all SWEATY and I posted comments in the WRONG MEGA, shameful and unpleasant

Y'all are dming eachother??? I've been using this site for like 4 years between different accounts and I think I've given or received a dm... three times.

on the other side of another night on shrooms, this time with one friend and fallout london. i found myself using wasd to scroll on this page and realized my brain was still fucked up

massive tits NOW

If I slowly transition silently like a frog in a pot of boiling water, do you think the cishets would notice?

What if I played it off as something that just kinda happened on its own, like I was the last one to notice?

If nothing else it'd be a good gag.

t4t transbianism is the most pure acts possible

besides the constant sex but thats pure too

DRUMROLL FOR MY BLOODWORK RESULTS:

Estrogen: Way too high, dosage cut

Testosterone: they forgot to check???

????

Pharmacy is filling my first estradiol prescription. Going subcutaneous and monotherapy since I don't have fear of needles.

Referral for voice training.

And have a consultation Monday with the laser clinic to start working on the facial hair.

Feeling..

down with cis

First appointment with the clinic is this morning! I'm excited and nervous but I think it will be good. The clinic staff was very good when I scheduled the appointment and I think most of my nerves are thinking I need to come out to a heterocis dr. Justify how I'm queer enough to need hormones.

Which isn't what is happening. The place is staffed with a lot of queer folks. And uses an informed consent model when it comes to hormones.

700 comments in one day

I always hesitate on injection day even though it's going to be fine and it's not gonna hurt that bad and I'm just being a baby.

::: spoiler really awful horrifying sexual trauma processing ft Paul Takes the Form of a Mortal Girl Weirdly, despite the fact I stopped having rejection-sensitivity-fueled breakdowns about A Novels, I find Paul is still giving me psychic damage, maybe more now than before. Not in an obvious way, but to where it fucks with my mental state and makes me wobbly and weird and anxious and worried.

Literally I think what's happening is that, to an extent, some certain depictions of sex acts between men will fucking freak me out. My ex and I were both ostensibly sad little gay boys when we met, so uh there was a lot of that, and a lot of that did not stop when transition started, which is where the trauma mixes in. The only memories I have of "male sexuality" (as in ostensibly being a guy during sex) and the associated terms and acts are horrible and traumatising. I guess it's to the point where when similar things show up in a weirdbook, psychic damage.

This makes sense since I have not really read gay-dude sex before, this is kind of the first time, Paul is a lovely complicated little weird thing. But it's kind of fucking lame and I don't really love the idea that certain kinds of sex just EXISTING will trigger my fucking trauma, that really distresses me. I guess that's reality though? So here's to not reading about dudes having sex I guess...

I hate this, this is terrible, I've been feeling really good about all the sex stuff recently, but I guess it makes sense I would stumble into "damage" at some point. Blegh... :::

Good morning, cha--

Anyway there are two wolves inside me, one says "sexcomm NOW!!! sexmega NOW!!!!" and the other says "THE VOLCEL PEOPLE'S VANGUARD ARE ON THE SCENE!!" I did not get any awooga replies shockingly, just some boring fuckin cishets. A comm like that should be defederated though, to stop lemmitors sliding in and making Sexy Sexxers of Sexxit style dumb jokes.

Looked in the mirror and noticed that my hair is now at the perfect length

I have a confession, I don't know any of you lol

I don't read your usernames, I don't even look at your pfps. If I start to recognize you by your pfp and you change it, you're like a new person to me.

I feel like I've repeated myself a few times but that's cause I don't know who I'm talking to. As far as I know, you're a brand new person every time unless we're in replies and even then, if there's a new comment by you and I replied to the new one - I dunno who you are lol. Sorry if I repeated myself to you but I've been doing this for like 4 years and I don't anticipate anything changing

fuck... the fabled girl horny really does hit hard wtf

Parents misgendering me again.

I don’t have the heart to correct them, I’m moving out in a few months.
Hopefully the next time they see me they will feel stupid ever having done it.

fuck I think I'm more mentally ill than I thought

::: spoiler death We had a kid die this morning :::

Making me work on weekends is transphobia actually

Okay chat, maybe I stayed up a little late last night and maybe I played an entire season of stardew valley and maybe I'm really eepy today. Some of the notable events for spring of year 1:

• Got a cat, named her mittens.
• On day 13 I made it to floor 9 of the mines and got the slime boss floor, made it out with 1hp and 3 thousand dollars (basically everything at that point)
• planted an absolute ton of cauliflower
• Gave a bunch of gifts, mostly to Leah and Abigail (no decisions have been made yet)
• I picked mushrooms and the tiller profession
• Just on day 27 I made 14k
• Started the summer with 13k in cash, the first backpack upgrade, a coop, level 20 in the mines and lots of stored food for my future kitchen.

I have since spent most of the money, mostly getting a ton of crops. My silly girl brain didn't upgrade my watering can during the final days of spring or use fertilizer on my 100 blueberries so

This game is so much better as a girl and every time an npc calls me my name or genders me I get a rush of euphoria.

Woke up at 8am today even though I had alarms set for 11am, guess work habits die hard. I also woke up again at 10am because MY SHITTY DOG WAS GOING ALL MODE OUT IN THE HALLWAY BLEGH

I feel groggy and moody and gay. I demand compensation from the state for these crimes.

in that gender zone where im like 'but what is a woman then? Gender is just a construct, so what even is this?' then i realize that i didn't fall out of a coconut tree and I exist in the context of all in which I live and what came before me

::: spoiler complaining about my envy Envy is actual brain poison that my brain cannot stop drinking, holy fuck what is wrong with me. :::

Reading some article, googling a women, oh she's trans, oh she,s my age, oh we came out at the same time, oh she's loved and supported by her community, oh she's been given countless opportunities because of coming out, oh gee, oh no

anyway i might shower for the first time this week, protip dont read the news, do not turn on the television

>wake up

>hair is still curly

BLESSED BY SCRUNCHIES AND POWERED BY JOJOBA OIL, CURLY HAIR SUPREMACY

::: spoiler it's just gross what if we held hands 😳 under the stall door 🥺 while one of us was shitting 🥰 :::

i have to go to bed. tomorrow i am going to PP and we're going to be discussing my hormone levels before and after starting HRT!

::: spoiler whining about needles

how the FUCK do i get over my fear of needles for injections.

I've been doing this shit for 4 months at this point and I still cannot do it myself (my girlfriend has injected me every time) and today I cried like a fucking child because i was so frustrated i couldn't do my injection because my anxiety was so high.

I hate this but I don't want to do any other form goddamn it.

Maybe i should switch to subcutaneous from intramuscular but i already have like 5 dozen syringes and filter needles.

God this sucks i feel so stupid :::

::: spoiler slightly nsfw boob talk My boobs are sensitive enough to the point that it slightly hurts laying on my stomach so that's cool.

Main "problem" is now I need to get actual bras because the bralettes I have are too little to stop the friction on my nipples :::

posting from the PP lobby. drumroll to see what the bloodtest results are like

volunteering to explode my inbox

I felt creative today and made a collage celebrating Hexbear. I'm excited to share it but unfortunately I can't post it until tomorrow for reasons that'll become clear soon. All I can do now is wait and do my best to leave it alone and try not to waste my whole night obsessively tweaking small details that don't need it.

I got squishy arms now, that's pretty neat. But there's been no fat restribution in the rest of my body yet. Maybe I need to lose weight

I have spent the entire day arguing with liberals on reddit, I regret nothing because I dunked hard on them

::: spoiler Dressposting #2

Today's dress is Henrietta's Victorian Doll OP!

https://lemmygrad.ml/pictrs/image/12918c58-8cb5-479f-83f2-29c113797b6d.jpeg

As you can see, this one comes in two lengths, as is pretty normal for lolita brands to do. Of the two I prefer the short, but that's pretty normal for my preference since I like to get a little more leg visible so the socks can get some attention.

https://lemmygrad.ml/pictrs/image/cf49d28d-52f7-41dd-adc5-34c17d8a7ee5.jpeg

The dress itself is lovely of course, the theming is obviously historic so this falls under classic lolita, which means it's exactly my sorta shit since I'm particularly interested in that style. This one is actually quite similar to another, much cheaper dress I already own so I won't get it (+ I'm poor like usual anyways), it's currently on its reservation period if anyone is interested though!

I adore the ruffled skirt of this one, it's so pretty and looks so fun to twirl around in~

https://lemmygrad.ml/pictrs/image/14cf1382-03c8-451e-9096-acd2baf70f9c.jpeg https://lemmygrad.ml/pictrs/image/d47eaff4-e8b8-401d-8ac2-3faf67f4184a.jpeg

God and the bonnet! The lace motif they have here is gorgeous, and it pops so nicely on the dark red version. The lace motifs look phenomenal around the waist too. And it's all tied together with that lovely brooch and bow to draw the eye when you're closer up.

https://lemmygrad.ml/pictrs/image/e124f324-510a-46e5-b2de-48f36de6c26f.jpeg https://lemmygrad.ml/pictrs/image/de5efd3a-f0cc-4157-8f5b-8d43d901acd8.jpeg :::

Wtf there's a picture limit? How dare they try to stop me.

Dysphoria and shitty flatmates ::: spoiler spoiler This evening is a queer meet-up, but I am feeling dysphoric, don't know if I'll go. I know self isolation is bad, maybe I'll feel different after the shower and a second shave.

Also I am so happy I'll leave my flatmate behind in a week, she yesterday implied that my lack of attachment to this shitty flat is, cause of my "male socialisation", or what she actually said: cause I am "mannish". She had an almost nervous breakdown over an electric kettle once, in comparison to that, I am the buddah. :::

Lounging at home in an old t-shirt, my tits are big enough now that I absolutely look like a girl who stole her bf's shirt. Wild how my new figure makes me like this shirt more even though it hasn"t changed at all.

My partner makes me feel all fuzzy

these christian coming of age parties are fucking dead

barely know anyone here and dont feel like starting convos with strangers, atleast my goth getup is hella cool

CW: suicide

Up until a couple of days ago I would've told you I was a cis dude. I kinda new something was up but didn't know much about enby identities and never gave it much thought.

Read through the gender dysphoria bible. Holy shit, worlds most dangerous document. Less than 48 hours later I think I might be grill.

On one hand I can't help but keep noticing things I don't like about myself but I feel better for it. Like I've been miserable with everything in my life and I couldn't put my finger on it until now.

One of my closest family members killed themselves a couple of years ago. The world hasn't felt this vibrant since I lost them.

I think I figured out a way to help me feel whole. But I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.

Small step but I had to get a new USB-C DAC to replace my busted ass BTR5. Got one in this girly teal/green color that isn't super obvious, and shouldn't raise cis eyebrows.

First feminine presenting thing I've ever bought on purpose and it feels so fucking good.

check the stupid 4chan femcel transfem dating app again out of boredom

like 8 people messaged me

half of them are brainwormed

the ones that aren't are super sexual and I know that won't mesh well with me

I should probably just try a real app at this point

I just realised that I have not heard someone say my name irl in over a month. And even online its only been in two conversations. Weird how this hurts more now than it used to, although I guess that's to be expected since I've gotten used to actually being out.

i think being hunted for sport seems like fun

people constantly go on about the eroticism of food, but when i ask to be referred to as "chef" and have my commands acknowledged with "oui, chef" suddenly i'm the weird one

yes im procrastinating but im spending my time complimenting trans communists so uh its fine

Being in a long distance relationship can be pretty hard

My exes mom used to say "chin up, tits out" when my ex was feeling down. Now I say it to myself lol

I'm getting a lot of my clothes back from my cousin's place and I can't wait

Why do I have to deal with such inconveniences as "sleep" and "food". Why can't I just do DIY projects 24/7.

The veins in her legs >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Idk this is just one of those things I feel about, it's sorta like how I feel about stretch marks tbh.

>wife finishes Nevada

>says she liked it and wanted more

MY POWERS ARE INCREASING

liking men, but in a gay way

liking women, but in a gay way

I got a really cheap rowing machine today. Got it assembled and did a 1km row at the medium setting. Holy shit am I out of shape.

transgemder.

I managed to get up before the afternoon today for the first time in weeks. it was because i had to for a psych appointment, but still pleased with myself. it wasn't even that hard to get up!

I got prescribed a new antidepressant, escitalopram, at the appointment. i have mixed feelings about antidepressants and have been very wary of them after a couple of negative experiences, but my depression has been so all-encompassing since the start of this year that I feel like I need something. also I wanna go back on prog, I had to stop it because it made my depression and mood swings worse but I'm hoping with the mood stabiliser/antidepressant in the mix it will have a better effect on me. so I'm gonna start taking those two things this week, wish my brain and boobs luck comrades:)

I've been doing some research on top surgery recently, and I'm a little bit worried because my insurance says that it might deny (laundry list of cpt codes that align with gender affirming surgeries) as "cosmetic procedures". Do I have to get a medical diagnosis of some sort? This shit is so confusing, my ADHD is not having a good time.

3000 comments?

(hexbear canvas posting)

Reminder that censorship doesn't work hey comrades, YOU CAN'T KILL AN IDEA lol

who's moustache got drawn suspiciously close to the second coming of HEXBEAR?

I dont want to share this outside of the thread yet because I want as many anti communists to buy a print of the canvas as possible first, tee - hee, but I've been sitting on it for days and I'm tired of waiting.

I really hoped someone would make a height map of which pixels were covered the most because you'd totally still see our art that way, but alas (I'm not wasting my time doing it, but I considered asking for it "to see how bad hexbear got trolled" heh)

also wow I managed to get the .webp to upload to a comment but I struggled to get them to upload to posts, protip I guess?

Taking the bus to the makeup store

What's the policy on cissies being in the thread?

Goofnight trans mega, gonna be a better tomorrow(or today timezone dependent)

I have found more of my old (rubber band) bracelet stuff! The only colors I have a significant amount of is purple, blue and clear though (literally so close why not pink ) but I think I'm going to make a purple one and save the blue for a one, once I get my hands on some pink bands.

I think the cashier at the grocery store clocked me today, but like in a nice way? She was smiling at me a lot and was just super friendly.

For anyone following from my little meltdown over the weekend. My girlfriend and I have worked things out and communicated about everything. We really do love each other and I think once the t-blockers kick in we will both be a lot happier in the relationship.

::: spoiler hrt questions Once I start on t-blockers how soon will it be until I start having some effects from it? Like spontaneous erections are very annoying to me. I'd love to see less aggression towards myself and my loved ones, etc.

Will it be pretty immediate? I know the secondary sex characteristics from the estrogen will take a long time. But I would really just like to not be under the influence of testosterone all the time. And the faster that happens I think the happier I will be and my partner will be.

Appointment is for Friday!

:::

Reading Whipping Girl to become really annoying because Imogen Binnie told me its fans online are really annoying. Reading Whipping Girl to find out what the screechers on Tumblr were talking about. Reading Whipping Girl to see basically the genesis point of trans womens' gender theory. Reading Whipping Girl for the bit.

Seeing pretty anime women with nice clothes that make me kinda go horny, but not actually?

Then remembering of "The Coercive Male Gaze" Have many of these actually not been horny, but more envy???

::: spoiler facial hair I finally shaved, I didn't realize how big my facial hair made my face, my head literally looks like it shrank in size :::

rate your music dot com is ip blocking me for using a vpn again!

Since I've started hrt I have become the eepy trans girl meme. Takes me an extra to get out of bed in the morning now

Told my friend last night I was questioning and changing my pronouns on discord to they/them, and he didn't have to use them (I added this last part because I am literally ). He was like oh okay, well I don't get feeling weird about being a guy but I'll try to remember that, I might accidentally forget though. Want to play some Warframe with me?

Chat the cis are okay.

Oh also since I've complained about my sleep recently, I slept great last night, 7 hours.

Someone convince me to actually go to the makeup store tomorrow.

Went to the country's biggest pride on sunday. Commercialized as fuck, literally the definition of corporate pride, but walking through a major city and seeing queer people completely take over the scenery felt good, ngl. Also met up with a really sweet friend there and met a ton of nice people she's friends with. ofc i was a lil dum dum and forgot to pack sunscreen and now i have (fortunately very light) sunburn ... in the shape of my top's boob window. Dang.

lazy bitch still not getting around to getting a therapist, more at 11

it's so joever i'll never look like a girl. i still don't look like favorite anime girl with yoga ball sized tits even after a whole 10 WEEKS on hrt it's JOEVER

::: spoiler spoiler /s for the six people who really need it :::

so i guess i've got androgene insensitivity. v complicated feels about this, but i've got my partner to help me figure things out.

also what de HECC i swear i had no idea Toriyama ::: spoiler spoiler died :::

do you think you just fell out of a coconut tree (gender transition)? we (trans people) exist in the context of all in which we live (queer internet forums) and what came before us (throwing bricks at the police)

Maybe I’m just a Buddhist, but I realized I don’t really identify with my physical body. It’s not that I want to express some inherent gender, I just like to see a pretty face when I look in the mirror. Funnily, I’m still in the societal brainworm of gendering people and appearance and action, but when I look at myself in the mirror I see no gender.

I’m just standing around outside the store like a weirdo

i think i got the chat

second time, this sucks

got an incredibly transgender weekend planned

today is injection day but the doctor lady told me to take a whole 25% less estrogen from now on. i know my E levels are already super high but I want MORE estrogen >:(

Love seeing all the new comrades joining the mega. Welcome!

i think the plague is done with me for now, imagine if we had just guaranteed for those few weeks we wouldnt have this, but noooooooooooo

anyway, going to learn how to use black lipstick without it looking bad today

::: spoiler coming out/being in the closet, shame Being in the closet is eating me alive. Was on a vc with friends and just felt terrible the whole time. Like there was a dirty secret I couldn't share. Anytime I'm doing stuff with my family I can't stop thinking about it. What am I going to do chat. And for some reason, all this comes with a (un)healthy helping of doubt. Am I trans, or have I talked myself into it somehow. I don't think I have but the feelings/fears are still there.

I think I'm going to finally change my pronouns to they/them on discord though. Still not what I want but a lot less drastic then she/her, yaknow?

Anyway I'm actually doing okay tonight, I know this was kind of a bummer post but I feel fine. Well maybe fine is a stretch. Numb would be more accurate, but numb is okay Hope you're all having a good night. :::

Hello everyone!!! 👋👋👋. I hope all of you are having a great day and will have a great week 🥰🥰🥰. Trans rights!!! ✊✊✊🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️✊✊✊

my face looks slightly different now but somehow it feels like the facial fat redistribution has made my jawline more pronounced? Idk where the estrogen has us planned going but I'm excited to see. Still weird seeing my jawline this pronounced, and it doesn't feel femme at all :(

https://hexbear.net/post/3044749?scrollToComments=false

new friends! take a look

got high last night and started fantasizing about what it would have been like to have been a neurotypical cis lesbian girl back in high school and how that seemed like a lost world i can never have had but should of, yet i remember following it later with a strong feeling of trans pride in an inexplicable way to where I get to instead have the lived experience of a trans woman, which is rewarding and prideworthy in its own right

now i don't know what to think other than "ugh i got to leave for work soon"

We gotta boost these numbers a bit if we wanna be a thousand ahead of news.

if you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever.

girls only have two moods:

"god my tits are so small and weirdly shaped i need a BA months ago wtf why are they so tiny????"

and

"jesus christ those things in the mirror are massive, look at those tiddies"

and i switch between the two about six times a day

Are you a small-pants-big-shirt queer, or a big-pants-small-shirt queer?

(It's fine if you don't consider urself queer, anybody under the cisn't umbrella can answer )

Ok I'm quitting Spiro. I have to sleep I can't take this anymore. I am so exhausted it's hard to describe. I feel like a zombie. I hope this actually fixes my insomnia because if it doesn't I am a bit at a loss

went to turn my shower on and the shower head just basically exploded. ugh

When I looked in the mirror I noticed my hairline masculinizing, I used to look so much more 'rounded'. That was a neat thing. Things otherwise have been going better than they usually do, makes me fear when they'll go wrong.

I am however dreading a therapist appt next week, managed to finally get to see one (I forgot I was on a waiting list for the local community clinic, just got the call the other day), I am worried she'll be nearly traumatically transphobic as my PT was since that's the default out here, everyone is a bigot and that's how it is, though if she's that bad I'll just drive 2hrs away, I didn't want to, but I've replaced a bunch of parts on my ancient car, so it can probably take the stress. At least both places are on a sliding scale, so that's helpful.

Had a dream where my hair looked bad and I looked like a boy

Hello new thread, how big will you grow this time?~

Why the fuck am I being horny about guy leg hair what the fuck is HAPENNING TO ME

I'm so good at being queer that my supervisor starting using they for me despite me boymoding at work It's probably actually the usual degendering transphobia since I said he/she... But hey it ain't he this time at least

Chat I would dox myself in an instant to show you how incredible the results of the "Wide Tooth Comb ft. Oils and Conditioner and Blackjack" routine from wet. I dunno if my hair has ever looked better than this. That was probably the best shower I've ever taken in my life.

Weirdly my hair seems to be drying from the bottom to the top? I just put it in a towel for like 20mins, like usual, Idk why it is doing this.

Transgender chat, I cannot eep. Fucking weed whacker noise woke me up today. When can I wake up normally without being disturbed? Acab includes checks notes landscapers...

ngl i love the difference of having a job that lets me use headphones. just being able to be in my own world and get on with what i'm doing is nice

i'm just so goddamn tired of spending my life fighting for a shred of dignity and respect. there's nothing wrong with being an autistic trans woman, to be one in a society that actively hates you at every turn is just... awful in a way i can't even truly fathom

okay the Minions has kinda saved this opening ceremony for me

::: spoiler small dysphoria talk after i hit the bullshit male puberty my face was always covered in a layer of grease, like it was never ending. i could wipe it with a paper towel and see the grease on it. now that i'm on the good shit and my T levels are down my facial skin is SO GOOD it's so much better it's ridiculous. i'm fucking pissed how i could've had a good skin without the slight acne scarring (which has been fading thanks to E) that i still have this sucks :::

Oh shit! I have boobs now. I can touch bobs whenever I want!

I wonder was the the blahaj drama orchestrated to drive more trans lefties to hexbear and to further boost the traa mega?

My neighbours are nice to me. Was walking the dogs with my wife and one of the friendly people on the corner yelled out "morning girls!". I'm very obviously trans and it's just nice to have this community of people that are all like 20-40 years older than me (aging little burb/village) be so uncaring about it.

Also I'm starting to age and feeling insecure about it instead of silver-foxy. Have I finally accepted myself? :P

::: spoiler dysphoria Try not to sad post too much but the happy/sad ratio has been improving a lot.

The disconnect between body and mind is just always there, always reminding me. I feel like I'm looking out at the world as a girl, but it doesn't see me that way. And I understand why.

Just wrapping myself up in a blanket and trying not to look at my body too much. ::: spoiler genitals Also random erections wtf penis. :::

Feeling cute today :3

compliments reaching dangerous levels of flirtatiousness

I slept poorly last night and got up early today. Now I'm so exhausted that even my adderall isn't working like it usually does

I've been in a terrible, angry sour mood for like 2 days I'm OVER IT. I have nothing else to destroy. Go away feelings

My mother is finally gendering me correctly, she has been really supportive(even if she is really gnc, so she doesn't really get feminity I think), but that was something she had her problems with

Being trans is really nice, I don't get all that anxiety over egg-jokes. So weird.

OBTAINED: 2x wide toothed comb, (more) jojoba oily curly-specific shampoo, and scrunchies, to go with the hydrating shampoo and towel dry methods. I am so ready to have curly hair all day every day. Let's fucking go

::: spoiler Image. Nothing bad about it.

Omg, so gender. :::

it's not spironolactone, MOM, it's a Piss Speedrun:tm:

Feeling very eepy after all the excitement from today. G'nite silly little transes in my phone, I love you all~

I know lingerie isn't really sleepwear but I love sleeping in my mediocre lingerie nightgown, it makes me feel like me and that's nice even if it's uncomfy.

And on that note I turn to sleep, g'nite megathread~

My biggest fear: becoming a middle aged man

Music I’ve been listening to: Deftones, Chevelle (I only know of middle aged men who listen to them)

I think the Chappell Roan Minecraft parodies and Not Like Us mashups put me back in the right demographic, though.

No one on this bus is masking

::: spoiler vaguely sad Being a babytrans is so hard why did no one warn me. I mean I already tried to keep my shell intact but I'd have tried harder.

Being an elder trans better be as good as you all make it out to be :::

found my car today

::: spoiler Transmascs should get these

:::

::: spoiler CW Imagine Dragons

I'm waking up

To ash and dust

I grow some tits

And I cut off my nuts

I'm breathing in the femcel balls

RDR2 Arthur yell

pop of a medication bottle lid

:::

I had a really productive day of DIY-ing yesterday — added patches to an oversized button-down that I just know I'm going to live in, plus finished adding patches to a pair of shorts that I'm trying to keep relatively simple. Then I started trying to sew up some homemade grommet tape and everything went into chaos. Hopefully I can finish that up today but honestly, with the shitty grommet attacher that I have that doesn't work half the time, I'm not as optimistic as I want to be.

Post orchi does being kicked “in the balls” feel good bc of the parineum?/j

Trans mega has risen

done some cleaning, a bunch of reading, and went out and bought food today. all in all a successful day

we're back in it. news mega can kiss my ass

What is the current state of the diy electro kit? The post isn't pinned anymore. It is a really cool project.

might've just found the greatest minecraft mod https://modrinth.com/mod/estrogen

502 bad gateway, hexbear get some better gateways smgdh (shake my girl dick head)

my ability to be simultaneously incredibly laid back and incredibly high-strung is genuinely incredible

Just woke up and I feel like shit but also better than last night. Literally as soon as I got in bed and started listening to music I just fell asleep, barely any time to listen to it, but I was hoping to just nap a little so I forgot to do all the actual pre-sleep stuff I usually do so my mouth tastes like shit and I feel a touch dehydrated.

would anyone like to synchronize screaming into a pillow? i don't really have a good reason to be doing so but that doesn't matter. all motivations welcome

::: spoiler autism discussion Was inspired by all the 'tism talk in the mega to retake the tests on Embrace Autism again. I took them a few years ago, scored in the autistic range, got further confirmation by a psychiatrist who agreed that I probably am autistic, and basically forgot about it. Honestly, out of all my various neurodivergencies, I feel like my autism is the one that causes me the least pain and distress. I despise my OCD and my ADHD, but my autism? My autism is cool.

Anyways, I scored 34 on AQ, 154 on RAADS-R, and to my surprise, 102 on CAT-Q??? I guess I mask a lot less than I thought I did. Maybe that's why I struggle a lot socially, lol. I definitely don't relate to the common autistic experience of following a social "script", though I do try my best to be nice. My experience with trying to socialize with people in-person (especially in school settings) is that I will have a nice, friendly first meeting, and then those people will just... not be friends with me, and become friends with other people instead. I wonder if I just subconsciously radiate those autistic vibes, lol. :::

If I do anything in my life, it's gonna be getting really good at playing the organ. Current life goal is turning into a cute girl and getting damn good at the B3. Im gonna take y'all to church.

I'm so over working rn, it's just 12 hour shifts and only 3 in a row but at the end I'm just tired

::: spoiler rant about voice training, self directed ableist language (sorry, just can't think of how else to say things sometimes) First, thank you AmandaBynesThought for writing a whole effortpost to help me. I hope no one feels like they have to write another to try and help me (right now) because honestly I haven't tried very hard (story of my fucking life)

GOD I don't even know if I'm fucking HUMMING properly. I'm so fucking stupid. How can I not know how to hum. And how do I know when it "cracks" like wtf, or what's a couple "notes" down. What's fucking RESONANCE MEAN. Its all just so frustrating and I feel so stupid. I'm such a fucking quiter too. literally try for like 10 minutes two days and want to give up. how the fuck am I supposed to transition when I give up on fucking everything so god damn fast. Whatever, I'll try harder later.

Hope no one feels the need to spend a bunch of energy explaining shit to me, I'm sure I could google it and find the answers. If you have a favorite guide or something I'd appreciate it though. ::: I know this sounds like a really negative post but I've actually been completely girl vibing all night and plan on going to bed very happy. Just frustrated at myself, but not in a sad way.

Playing tony hawk's underground and it kind of sucks that the character creator locks you to male gender :/

22:30: "I'm going to sleep early today".
My brain at 0:58 AM: "that was a nice nap ma'am but you've got to wake up you have many chores and work to do at 3 in the morning!"

Doing the water drop test to identify my benzyl alcohol and MCT oil. In one of them the water drop stayed cohesive on top, the other one it kinda broke into smaller droplets and diffused a bit. The first one is oil and the second is alcohol right?

I hate how everything is a fucking app these days why the god damn fuck can I not sign up for lex on my computer. It wouldn't be as big of an issue if they didn't have some shitty browser auth that fails (probably because my phone likes to open a private browser tab for apps instead of the full browser app). Like wow guys wouldn't it be easier to verify my browser IF I WAS USING A FUCKING WEB BROWSER TO DO THIS. JUST LET ME SIGN UP LIKE I DO FOR EVERYTHING ELSE ON THE ENTIRE INTERNET.

Anyway I'm just annoyed I can't see how many cool gay things are happening near me that I won't even go to, maybe I'll debug it later. Right now I have girl farming to do.

20mg of Medikinet, actually able to work on stuff I want to work on like sphynx-site.

Hopefully it can help me actually do something about my body.

Okay, so now that I have achieved fuckin Curly Girl Zen and have beautiful hair, I draw attention to my original question - what is the strat for curly bangs? My bangs resolve into this bizarre arrangement of ringlets that look like I left curlers in at weird angles. Kind of unpresentable. How style curly bangs?

Tfw I just want to read orange book instead of work but today's another 12 hour day 😔

New mega new me

Feel like a bug that just molted 😌, all nice and clean

::: spoiler mental health talk, specifically anxiety It's funny, I used to think I didn't really have an anxiety disorder, but now I think it's staring me in my face and I have to face it. I'm not going to get better just trying to deny that it exists. It's affecting my relationships with people, especially since I have horrible anxiety around texting, and that's the main communication channel everyone uses. Getting a panic attack whenever I see a notification that someone texted me and then leaving it unread for weeks because just thinking about it will cause another panic attack is... really just not conducive for modern existence.

My anxiety is also definitely connected to my ADHD and what I suspect is C-PTSD. I get really bad RSD and I experience a ton of shame, which feeds back into the anxiety and makes it worse. I'm honestly a huge mess mental health-wise, it's kind of embarrassing lol. :::

Agh, just had a scare almost losing my wallet. Feel like my memory has been so shot lately.

It’s a new high score for me! Personal best? Am I pregante?

Okay the crying is slowing down, think I'm gonna go to sleep now before it has a chance to start up again. G'nite silly little transes, I'll speak to you all again tomorrow 💜

Anybody else have a bit of a rough time with epilators (other than the pain, of course)? I find that often, especially on my arms, the hair seems to grow back pretty quickly. I'm thinking that while some of the hairs are being pulled out, others are snapping, therefore making it similar to shaving them. Is there any way to get them to come out instead of snapping, or should I just do upkeep with the epilator in hopes that these hairs will eventually come out?

Morning

1990

Wow 1900 comments :0

I don't know how many people are still online but my sadness has ended, I am back to girlvibing

Also shaved my arms.

::: spoiler volcel violations ah FUCK the girl horny is only getting stronger ans stronger and it's turning me into such a brat and i have no idea how to cope with these new emotions :::

Tried out eyeliner for the first time, I liked it, but I really need some practice. Probably gonna apply some each evening before I wash my face. If I had the space for it, I would like to start practicing makeup in general. A good skill to have for a trans girl.