the news mega people couldn't handle how successful our trans mega has become so they shot trump about it to make the news mega number go up higher than us

::: spoiler CW: transphobia

So my dad's cis but really outspoken about trans rights (and queer rights in general) which has led to him arguing with all sorts of reactionaries in, like, Facebook groups and shit.

His go to arguement has been to demand the transphobes prove he's a man and then poke holes in whatever proof they suggest as they grow increasingly flustered and run out of arguments. After which he'll hit 'em with a line about how all they've got is his word on it and that's all that should matter.

And, well, I've had a hard time of it recently with transphobia so it's been cathartic seeing him just verbally steamroll these dickheads, laughing the entire time.

Shame the extended family are kinda a nightmare about their transphobia (so bad that I'm not going to out myself to them 'till I have, like, at least an entire country between myself and them), 'cos it's nice having supportive parents. :::

Boymoding for the first time in a while to meet my grandparents, but I lost like 7kg of probably mostly muscle since I used these clothes so I just look like someone who raided her boyfriend's wardrobe.

::: spoiler It's so funny how my main concern sometimes when having somebody stick something inside of me is that my moans stay fem and passable so I don't scare the lesbian off with my deep ass voice 💀

---

:::

Just took my first dose of progesterone. If I don't wake up with DDs, I'm gonna cry

upbearing the trans mega but not the news mega despite reading both to maintain trans hegemony over the site

trump getting shot is a false flag to make the news megathread bigger than the trans megathread

transphobes win again

You should all be glad that Hexbear rules forbid photos because I would be unstoppable if I could post all my cute outfits here.

have i me tiond evr iam nonbinry

Guess who just got her asshole lasered? it was me

Assassination attempt on Trump, smh these news mega posters are getting desperate.

Before I my egg broke I thought I was unique for being a woman on internet fora with almost only men, now I finally found a place with many women (this mega) but it made me realise I’m not a woman

I may not be a mother, but baby trans treating me like an elder who can give them advice and guidance does make me feel like one.

So far T has been keeping my potentially monthly issue away, hope it stays that way forever. I found cheap cups on AE that pass the silicone burn test, in case it decides to try me again I'll be prepared. For more positives my voice has been passing more and more, my laugh is another issue though, its been so long since I've laughed around people I forgot that was a thing.

I'm expecting work to be a transphobic complete and wretched shit show today, yesterday was basically the retail version of the first Clerks (all we were missing was the dead guy in the bathroom). I hate closing.

Got my haircut for the first time since transitioning with a local queer barber. They said my hair was beautiful and gave me tips to take care of my curls. This is so sweet, as I am a bit uncomfortable with the thin hair around my scalp.

I don't know how much more waiting I can stand.

Waiting for laser hair removal to be finished.
Waiting for the hormones to work.
Waiting for blood tests to see if the hormones are working.
Waiting to lose weight.
Waiting to be with my girlfriend.

It seems like I've been waiting all my life just to be happy.

finally got to my upper lip during electrolysis this week. pain is just dysphoria leaving the body, right?

I look away from the trans mega to play video games with wifey, 100 new comments

I finally, finally am (mostly) happy with a DIY dress custom I started over a year ago. idk if this is anyone else’s style, but I love it and I can’t wait to wear it to college lol (especially since once I get to college I can finally go on T!)

please ignore my messy floor, this is my sewing cave

sales rep at the appliance store called a coworker over to meet our parrot by saying "come meet Mr. <bird's name>". lady looks at me and my wife, puzzled. thought we were abouta get misgendered for a hot second until the sales rep went "yeah, that's the bird's name" and her coworker's confusion dissipated. imma take it as "neither of us pass as men any longer". victory!

shutting down the site because the trans megathread was winning the posting wars was not okay

so I went to my sister's 30th birthday party which was nice. got to talking with two of her college friends, both women, one of whom i got along with particularly well and found attractive. then later my sister mentions the two of them are dating.

my god, the envy that rose up in me. not even about the girl in specific, just that they get to be two pretty girls dating. suddenly i felt so trapped in how I am. Have you ever been stuck in a tight space and know struggling won't do any good, and in fact will only make it worse, but there's still the overwhelming urge to scream and thrash like an animal until you're a hot, raging heap? That's what welled up in me. And later, a certainty that things cannot go on as they are for much longer, one way or another

My future milf shirt gettin a lot of looks

I started the process for legal name and gender marker change yesterday. I am sooo fucking hype to never have to go by my deadname again.

Babs getting ready to walk to the corner store: "I prolly don't have to wear a bra for this. It's just around the corner and I'm basically flat, right?"

Babs, halfway to said corner store: she breasted boobily down the street, through the city crowds.

I wish my sister was a mad scientist who turned me into a girl so I could relive my high school experience tbh

Went out last night and my voice feels destroyed. I think shouting over music all night while still trying to sound fem really takes a toll.

Also, some random dude called me a very beautiful woman, and I know you shouldn't take what guys say in night clubs seriously, but waow, I think that's the first time someone's called me that.

Were talking sexuality tonight looks like

For me, since I was young, I've always gone for the gender different people - tomboy, yes, femboy, yes, enby? Oh fuck yes. That was my only criteria, couldn't date gender normal people. My girlfriend now describes herself as futch and a breaker of binaries, my ex was enby since like 2010. Apparently, gender fuckery is my thing and as far as I remember, it always has been.

Real Trans Patriots will get the comments to 1918

Oh so this is the megathread?

::: spoiler doomer

Okay I'm ordering DIY powder to stock up, I dont think things are looking good.

Also gotta back up sites relevant to it.

i read that Kurt Cobain egg theory post again, and... they didnt tattoo their skeleton with "I AM TRANS" so they're definitely cis. Sad shit, all around.

>go sweat it out to get groceries in near 30°C heat

>get home, looking forward to comfy trans mega posts

>>>some fucking dumbass shot a dang cheeto and didn't even hit

My vibes are absolutely crushed. Fuckin jackass couldn't have waited two days?

In better news, my transphobic brother will be in another country for the next few months It's gonna be so nice to just have my parents around for a while

Tried on a skirt and it actually changed the gender of my shirt. Wtf. Why did I not do this 8 years ago. This is going to make telegraphing my gender 10x easier.

first day of hormones today

i've been put on patches, are there some patch locations which work better than others?

Mom has finally reached the level of acceptance that she wants to braid my hair into every neat thing she saw on tiktok recently.

My hair is just too smooth and fine to be easy to manage and this frustrates her to no end. It's kinda sweet though

I have an announcement to make: I have stolen my wife's sweatpants and claimed them for myself. They are oversized n comfy n gay. If you are not stealing clothes from/trading clothes with your significant other I recommend it

Real trans patriots will get the comments to 1776

"never trust how you feel about your life after 9 pm" but that's the only time i ever bother thinking about my life

Went out in a breezy dress because is hot outside and some kid stared at me from way up the sidewalk and as i pass asks "what kind of freaky shit are you into" and it has seriously withered me. I don't wanna go out femme anymore

ugh why am i doing my stupid straight job when i could be doing (things with) my stupid gay wife

got she/her-ed by not one but two people at the shop the other day and i still cannot believe it happened

In my current just, I was a boymoding summer intern last year and am now out and working full time. Besides HR being totally incompetent it's gone really well and everyone has been very nice.

There's this one outspoken old guy with an office down the hall. He was described to me as "our one Trump supporter", and apparently has gotten in trouble for talking politics at work before, which most people avoid. He's also very friendly and talkative to everyone.

Since I've been back there, he keeps coming up to me, introducing himself, and asking if we've met bey. He seems really confused about it lol. I told him I was an intern, but I think he forgot and he asked later if we'd met in the new employee orientation meeting (he was a presenter). I assume he knows I'm trans??? But he can't figure out who I used to be lol.

I noticed we are using mm/dd/yyyy like a bunch of amerikkkans. Please fix this mistake

transgender people can just do this

I've made up my mind and I'm coming out to my mom today. I invited her to town and I'm taking her out for the day. The only problem is that now it's the day of and I'm panicking hahaha. I'm still going to do it though.

Edit: IT WENT GREAT!

Wore a skirt today. Skirts are great! It also allowed me to wear a unisex shirt I have that looked too masculine with pants and shorts. I've also gone through and taken out a lot of my older clothes, and I think I'm at a point where I have enough feminine clothing (or at least non-masculine) to wear without falling back on the old clothes.

when the trans mega gets so big cleaning it up breaks the site like a

so glad my one year old a/c unit died in the middle of this nightmare heatwave

it is so fun, i am having such a good time

I went to a makeup artist and asked if she could help with my cross dressing makeup.

She responded by saying, “I don’t help people with cross dressing because it’s against my religious beliefs.”

I then laughed in her face. She didn’t like that.

Looked at pics of me right before starting progesterone ~4mths ago and compared to today. Goodness gracious these things grew.

I was an A cup forever and they grew to a B in no time. Hope the increase continues linearly and I'm a D cup by next year

::: spoiler depression Being crushed by depression as of late. Haven't been here lately. Can't handle a lot of the dysphoria posting right now as it throws me into a spiral. Being dysphoric myself at the moment kinda just piles on with the depression and it all kinda just turns into a perfect storm of hell.

Might have to step away from this site for a long time due to it. :::

my wife keeps texting me "deer anime?" and I don't know what it means. what do I say? is the anime going to deer my gender?

::: spoiler Bottom Surgery Discussion I scheduled a bottom surgery consult and it is for next week! I was so fucking nervous before making the call, and the assistant was so kind. I know the surgery will be far off from now, as I have a lot of hair removal to do, but I am so happy, ya'll. :::

I am better than the trans pixel art platformer about anxiety. The trans pixel art platformer about anxiety cannot beat me, for I have defeated its nefarious crystal heart challenges.

To be real, people talk about how Artorias of the Abyss was too out-of-the-way and hard to find in Dark Souls, and yeah fucking off to the Duke's Archives to get the pendant or whatever was a bit roundabout. But out of the seven crystal hearts you need, maybe two you could find without a guide??? This is like, 1980s CRPG levels of cryptic. I would buy the strategy guide.

Why is nobody mad about this? I am mad about this. I am incensed that the trans pixel art platformer about anxiety forced me to paddle its ass for another six hours before I could continue.

Oh. I look like my mother now. I can see it when I take my glasses off. I don't know how to feel about this.

::: spoiler stupid bs I think I finally decided that I really truly do not wanna touch grass anymore. Sure people are cool, I like them, and it's fun being A Gender™ outside, but I actually cannot handle the stress anymore. Let me stay inside and talk to the queer people inside my computer. Everytime I go outside it's a fucking expedition with required gear and terrible sensory problems and just, eeeehehehhrhgghhghgghh

It's fucking stupid because nothing bad even happened today and I'm still exhausted. I give, I don't have the energy to be outside, I'm exhausted and I give up. Do not make me leave my dumb little nest please :::

My gf sudoku time: 2:59

My time doing the same sudoku: 1:18:54

i should make myself a banh mi

not really trans-related but i'm hungry

I have been coming to the realization that the only two things I used to like about my body were only because I thought other people would like those things about me. It was never because I liked those things.

It wasn't an assassination, he just thought it would be really funny

making moves for myself and it feels good. i'm in the process of becoming "that bitch"

I know I've been making a lot of these types of post (others are in the works!) but I am literally laying here thinking about how I would listen to edm/festival type music for hours and wish I could be a festival girl.

Literally death to society for not educating me better :agony:

Oh, trump got shot, let me check the news mega for details.

HOLY

Got laser the other day and now my shitty pencil stash is like pretty dark no matter how much I shave -.-

You like being trans because it has shaped who you are as a person

I like being trans because I would hate having a period

::: spoiler We are not the same Yes I know some trans women have periods but I will simply not :::

I was eating out earlier and they had a cute little bow for the women's room and like a top hat for the men's. I look at both of these and it clicks where I'm supposed to go.

Chat I almost went in the women's room (I have not done a single thing to fix my presentation)

it would be rad as hell if the dark souls 2 gender swap coffin was real

I can’t tell how much of my attraction to men is real and how much of it is rooted in making me feel more feminine by being bigger, taller and more manly than me.

Love when the anime has actually good transfem representation, BUT THE CHARACTER IS TOTALLY JUST A BOY, GUYS!
and then an anime with canon "transfem" rep is just a literal fucking man.

uwu

tailism is when you have a tail and you wag it

Getting a full-body CT bone scan, looking at the images and going Ooh ooh, aw yea boyee, look at that fuckin' hip tilt, oh baby that pelvis is SO DAMN TILTED, ooh damn you're so hiptiltpilled, just looook at how foward that pelvis is tilted!!

a trans woman invited me to help try on clothes but im too fucking nervous to take her up on it

This place is better for my /tttt/ brainrot than twitter.

::: spoiler semi doomer posting You had to know it was coming, the doomer posts about trump. I am so scared about how this country is heading. I want to be trans really badly, I just wrote in my journal how excited I am. And then I read about all the horrible things the government could/might do to me. Why are we in such uncertain times. :::

I'm slowly preparing myself for the Great Wardrobe Changeover. I've finally hit the point that my "man" pants I wear for work are just uncomfortable compared to my scrub bottoms or leggings, and it's not worth it.

I've already warned a couple people at work if someone gets found in the cardboard compactor, it wasn't me, but they shoulda watched their fucking mouth after the warnings they've had.

Not doing so good... ::: spoiler CW: Self harm I'll be moving back in with my parents at the end of the month, thankfully. I'm so isolated where I currently live, and it's making my mental health worse with each day. I'm just alone with my thoughts for the majority of the day.

I cut myself about an hour ago. I've never considered myself to be someone at risk of self harm before, but for the past few days I had been thinking a lot about cutting myself, and I'd been feeling awful the entire day today. It gave me a break from the negative thoughts, but now I'm worried that this will happen again. I'm gonna try turning to junk food instead, not a good way to cope but it's literally the only other alternative I have rn.

Also, I'm not sure if I should tell anyone irl about this. Maybe I will if it happens again. I hope it won't. :::

I want to have my makeup done for my passport photo, but I don't want to have to look at myself.

idk what to do.

it keeps happening? like every two weeks or so at work i malefail for one customer and they'll either call me ma'am or just get really unsure about my gender. 98% of people still refer to me as male but uhm... okay? i think that most cis men don't get "misgendered" at that rate so i'm not even conciously trying and i'm still ahead of the curve???

Watching cis people try and talk about trans people can be amusing

there's a queer person who I see walking their dog, they seem happy and I've never seen anyone give them a hard time

there's a trans woman who works at the local liquor store, she seems nice and I've never seen anyone be rude to her

::: spoiler Thank you those were both great stories, you have successfully related to me and alleviated my concerns. I know they tried/meant well it just was funny :::

The way some Egg Prime Directivists talk about the "dangers" of pushing your friend so hard they go full gender repression makes it sound like all of their trans friends were Tara from I Saw the TV Glow. Girl, just mention the possibility and have them talk about their feelings wtf.

oh my god what was i ever doing with my life not being on estrogen this is the best i've ever felt

I might not be one of the smarterest people, but I’m probably one of the smarterest puppies in the world.

Blankets are so extremely comfy, and this one is bigger then I remembered it being. I thought it was just a tiny little thing but its huge.

This is related to being trans because I'm a girl and girls like being comfy

::: spoiler sadness, dysphoria Currently laying in bed, listening to the rain. I don't have the energy in me to do much else. I spent what little I had earlier crying over all the parts of myself that I hate. :::

awww i have to misgender and deadname myself at work because i'm not out yet :(((((

I am a professional character actress, and this is my nom du travail. my true identity is completely hidden because of what a talented actress i am

Filling out some chronic pain questionaire for a clinic or whatever and it asks you to list all of your medications. I don't wanna deprive these people of any potential details that could help so I was very detailed about it, they're gonna have to look up what "cyproterone acetate" is. When it came to the HRT stuff, there's a required effects/side effects entry, and I literally wrote

"Androgen suppression is pretty rad"

and

"Estrogen rocks"

respectively. The nurse is gonna be like 'oh, you trans your gender!' it's gonna slap.

My workplace has become diverse almost overnight by hiring a trans man and two enbies. I work as an auto mechanic and the guys here aren’t exactly queer-friendly, but the new mechanics seemed to have gained their respect by doing the job well.

I even heard one of the older guys begin to refer to one of the enbies as “she” before correcting himself and muttering their name instead. They don’t like using “latine” and instead just like to be referred to by their name whenever possible.

Feeling kinda over sex, I think I'm good now. I had as much as I ever needed, reached the lifetime limit, some lows mostly highs but I'm ready to hang up my hat and retire from sex

It looks like the news mega has teamed up with to beat us at the posting game.

Anyone else trans but also redneck coded? A friend offered to get me an AR-15 and a carton of cigs next time I go visit

I don’t know what I am gonna do if my blood test results come back and my E levels are still mediocre

Had the joys of being stuck in a room of transphobes the other day. Impressive how desirable they seem to assume they are to trans people....

::: spoiler talking about internalized transphobia, no examples. How can I simultaneously know so much more about being trans then any cis person ever but also have so much internalized transphobia. With this amount of head knowledge I should not have all these awful, bigoted feelings about myself. :::

I never know what to post in the trans mega

why isn't it the trains megathread.

where can i post about how much i hate thatcher specifically because of what she did to the apt?

1917

I wonder what my life would have been like if I actually worked up the courage to come out to that one girl I was friends with in high school?
She already knew I was kind of a gay little f@g, why didn’t I just bite the bullet?

trying to figure out masculinity when transfem is quite hard tbh

i just want to look masc but also get she/her-ed consistently

New Trans DIY Science thread: LOOK AT IT NERDS, UPBEAR IT

https://hexbear.net/post/2987978?scrollToComments=false

Almost had a panic attack when I woke up because my gf didn’t respond to my goodnight dm or text she got back from work

down with cis

i love women's fashion but i also really like the idea of passing well enough to look like a woman while wearing a three piece suit so I can look like Kazuma Kiryu but a girl and kick twice as much ass

::: spoiler sadposting fuuuuuuuck i’m listening to a trans youtuber describe how hrt helped her become mentally stable and saved my life and i almost want to cry. i need hrt badly holy shit it’s been four years since realizing i was trans and those four years have been nothing but a downward spiral for me mental-health wise. i don’t have a lot of angst around being trans, but my brain chemistry is so off. it’s always been off but these days it’s off to the point of complete dysfunctionality. if hrt can turn that around even a little bit i don’t even know what i’ll do. :::

just learned my housemate became a mini e-celebrity by using my edibles as bait for mouse traps. apparently the mice nibbled at them and stopped fucking with her food.

::: spoiler dysphoria stuff I'm sad that I lost touch with people I knew, but part of me feels like it was necessary to even reach a point to consider that I'm trans.

In school, I had a support system. I had great friends, and people that I probably kinda took for granted.

But I thought I was straight, I thought I was cis. I was in a costume, and I played the part so well that nobody can look past the mask anymore. They're not thinking about me, they're remembering him. It's tough. :::

Went to a party for the first time as myself. Met a couple of other trans women and felt shy talking to them and really curious as both are on estrogen and I haven't started yet.

I did get a chance to break the ice with the tall, beautiful blonde, who was a great dancer! Told her this was my first party as myself. She gave me a big hug and said it only gets better from here!

Spent most of the morning trying to Facebook stalk her but didn't have any luck. Maybe she'll find this here and send me a DM :)

The news nerds are colluding with the admins to suppress all the incredibly trans posting

I wanna buy like 100 grams of raws and hand out estrogen vials like a fairy godmother.

It feels like (anecdote time) just over the last five or so years, "they" as a neutral singular pronoun has gone from a fringe concept for assholes to bitch about grammarwise (and they sometimes still do) to a very commonplace word. I hear it in sloptube videos and stuff, even goofy gamer ones. Truly a banger

I am so fucking happy I am trans! I won't get my high school, or even college years back but by the time I'm 30? I'm going to effing slay. All those late nights I stayed up wishing I could be a girl? A happy, cute, queen? That's going to be me fuckers. I'm going to go to a big fucking party, or rave, or whatever and dance my god damn heart out. I'm going to hang out with my girlies, and get girldrunk, and have cute girlrelationships, and I'm going to BE FUCKING ECSTATIC! I'm going to love my body, I'm going to love myself, and I'm going to love being who I am. Who I have wanted to be for years. I will break out of this mold and be free!

oh yeah i have hummus. yummy hummy in my tummy

Think I'd look really cute with bangs :3 Might be a bit too high maintenance for me though

::: spoiler IDK if I need to cw this but anyway mental health anxiety stuffs

I had a panic attack out of nowhere yesterday. I got home after work, took a shower, changed into a cute skirt and tee. When I got done getting dressed, I realized I had gotten a package delivered and it was on the porch. And chat, I just could not open the door and go get it. I stood there pissed at myself for at least 5 mins before I gave up and decided to pretend I didn't see it so my husband would get it when he got home.

I'm already out to most of my neighbors, or at the very least most have seen me girling up the place in the last few weeks. I haven't had anxiety like that in a few months. I honestly have no idea where it came from but it sucked.

:::

My bralettes finally came in today and this time they ACTUALLY FIT! . Also got a swim-shirt but I haven't been waiting almost a month to get that.

I know I just made a shaving euphoria post but this is actually amazing. My skin is so smooth, so clean.

Hey comrades,

Fully acknowledging the canvas event is silly, I've made a template for a hexbear logo on a trans flag, I've made this three times and finally gave up on the second canvas because of dorks destroying it for no reason. I'm trying to write HEXBEAR last because that seems to be the sticking point for people (lol)

direct link to template https://hexbear.net/pictrs/image/96b43440-beb7-4f40-b160-4a58e1ef1196.png

I'll workout a good way to draw the hexbear logo when the canvas expands

https://i.imgur.com/jOseqQY.png

^ a slightly more ambitious one with a heart going into the kiwi (not sure how they'll take that, I'll try contact them, maybe) (this is the most up to date)

https://canvas.fediverse.events/

ps

i need to do college work but im just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo eepy

ITS DUE TONIGHT?????????????

but im eepy

ITS DUE

TONIGHT

DO IT YOU FUCKING LESBIAN

no uwu time to play terrible hoi4 mods for the next 8 hours

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Rockin' that MTF Shinji Ikari fit

::: spoiler dysphoria, hygiene, depression, complaining about transphobia and christianity (its not actually that long of a post I swear) This... disconnect and dysphoria is really hitting me hard. I really wanted to take a shower tonight but I just can't. I can't look at myself. This feels a lot like when I had depression... but now there's a concrete cause. BUT THAT CONCRETE CAUSE IS APPARENTLY "POLITICAL" AND "COMPLICATED" SO FUCK ME AM I RIGHT? BETTER MAKE MORE HATE PROPAGANDA (WHICH ALL THESE FUCKS EAT UP LIKE CANDY). JUST DEMONIZE ME FOR HAVING A BIG FUCKING PROBLEM. FUCK "christian values" BULLSHIT TOO. CHRISTIANITY CAN EAT MY ENTIRE ASS.

edit: just to clarify the big fucking problem is dysphoria :::

i started playing stardew valley again recently and i've been WAY more into it than i ever have before. idk if it's just the updates or maybe the hormones are making me more into it, lol

you may be trapped in the belly of the horrible machine while the machine is bleeding to death, but i'm better

The headpet thing is actually not a meme. I am desperate for head attention. Touch my hair, give me pets, rub my scalp, I will become putty It feels so good. I can be kept immobilised and making dumb gay noises for hours at a time. Getting headpets as the little spoon from my wife

What can I do if I find I'm sweating 24/7, like even in the dead of winter? Idk if this is hormone related but holy shit I am almost as big and wet as the guy who just had an attempted assassination on him.

We have overtaken the news mega

Just thinking about how much sooner my egg would have cracked if I had ever vocalized my gender envy ("damn I wish I was her") to the right people. I never did because I thought that was part of finding someone attractive and was/would be seen as the same as me (a straight guy at this point) saying "damn she's hot" which would be objectifying and rude.

I haven’t noticed really what pronouns my parents have been using at all since I came out, they honestly might not have used any very much at all in that time tbh.

But they definitely both just used “him” right now

::: spoiler family shame, microaggressions, and skillful means I posted on Facebook, asking family and friends to use my name, along with an explanation about me preferring feminine things. Including feminine names.

One of my favorite Aunts vomited the family shame up on that post. She may have been half in the bag considering how difficult it was to parse what she was saying. Once I looked at the tone though, I was like oh, this is the family shame we all grew up with. I know this garbage.

So, I deleted my initial defensive response. And explained to her that my name and my dead name actually have the same meaning. That it's just my name. And that it will legally be my name soon. I also explained that pretending I don't prefer feminine things was literally killing me. That I choose life. And that I hope she prefers a joyful niece to a suicidal nephew.

I feel proud of myself for handling it so well. I don't know that I'll get through to her. But I hopefully educated some people on the sidelines. And proved to myself once again that I'm much more able to deal with life's hurdles when I'm able to be myself.

Texted my baby brother, who has been super supportive. And vented and then we both vented about transphobic people (he's a serious ally, in addition to being a beautiful sibling) And both him and his wife offered support on the Facebook post too.

What my Aunt said hurts and makes me sad. But, I'm choosing to focus on all the support I've been getting. And putting my attention there instead of on the hurt brings me gratitude for the beautiful people in my life who will love and support me through this. :::

my roommate: "hey estradoll have you seen the mail key?"

me, setting down my copy of "2020's Women Fashion Absolute Basics For Dumbshit Trans Girls Who Gave Up Being Cis Five Minutes Ago" with the title emblazoned in a comically large font in front: "oh yeah, I left it in my pocket, sorry"

I've been growing out my hair from a denial buzz cut for about 7 months (obviously for trans reasons).

My mom (who I think would be accepting but I'm not ready to come out to yet) has suggested I get a haircut. To be fair, it's not a bad idea since my hairstyle is currently just fluff, and I can't keep up the rejecting after having kept it short my whole life while also having no clue about the hairstyle I actually want (how am I supposed to pick something that isn't genderfuckery?)

What kind of style can I get at a barber (not outing myself obviously) with wavy/curly hair that I can still use to boymode as a college student that also allows me to keep growing some length?

Sorry for dumping this, don't know anywhere else to ask 🥺

I've said this before, but it really is incredible how much I want that darn shark plushie.

The cis can't have petplay, right? I mean that isn't allowed, yes? I don't think I've ever seen cis petplayers, like maybe they exist but surely not?

I talked about it briefly in a server once and while all of the cissies were bewildered, many different varieties of trans users came out of the woodwork to discuss 'n' bark with me abt it.

I don't want to work another night bleh

I wanna call in sick. I'm done with night shifts. I've been doing this for 4 weeks

I started writing a song this week and Im really happy with how its turning out, wish music wasnt so identifiable because Id love to show it off to youse (i also have a lot of sappy trans songs lol)

Just kind of complaining here, but the one local trans support / meetup group here has been cancelled every time for the last month+. Apparently the org that runs it doesn't have enough facilitators. Which, like, I get that people are busy but it's two hours twice a month. And they've only been announcing the cancellation last minute on Facebook.

Last week, I showed up without seeing the announcement. I wasn't the only one either, there was a whole series of vaguely nervous looking queers who came up to try the locked door and the immediately slunk away. At this point Im not sure I need a support group that much. Like I have some irl trans friends and I'm fully out and all that. But some of them might have been really struggling and it's super shitty to just cancel the group like that.

I wish I was more confident, I would start my own group lol.

Bit idea: red scare but the McCarthyist is an egg and is paranoid that everyone is a sleeper agent trying to trans their gender.

https://i.imgur.com/jOseqQY.png

https://canvas.fediverse.events/#x=196&y=362&zoom=8&tu=https%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FjOseqQY.png&tw=500&tx=0&ty=0&ts=DOTTED_BIG

https://canvas.fediverse.event

uWu :3

cant believe the amount of times ive had to move because people were erasing my work :(

I need my daily hourly dose of trans vibes!

Nerded:

I do not fucking like the autoscrolling bit in this chapter (8) where you have to bounce across ice platforms to ascend. You know the bit, with rigid fucking timing. I died 973 times.

I know I don't need to think about getting a new name right now but I am anyway. So I was looking at people talking about picking their new names and it's all like "Well I picked [extremely cute and unique name, but not too unique or unusual] because it aligns with my star sign, my grandmother's middle name (who I loved dearly but passed away when I was a child), means all of these things in these cultures that tie to who I am, and lines up with my winning lottery ticket numbers."

And I'm like "[common name for people my age] sounds cute"

edit: oh wow I was 666 and didn't even write about Satan. Well here it is, dudes rock. I can't stand up to anyone about anything and here's this dude fighting god for thousands of years. What a guy.

i just want to go swimming

I want to get into the routine of discovering new music again. Maybe I’ll incentivize myself by trying to post a song a day on the trans mega that feels gender to me.

i would like it to be later now

Started working on voice training day before yesterday. It's nice to have something to work on while I wait to see the clinic at the end of the month for HRT. Meeting a trans friend I recently made for coffee tomorrow. And going to a trans support group the night after. Hopefully that will help with things mentioned below.

::: spoiler dysphoria and coming out

I'm starting to experience pronoun/name euphoria and dysphoria. And I'm having trouble asking people to stop dead naming me. Changed my profile name on facebook to gauge the reaction. But honestly feeling sketch about FB generally and will probably delete the thing.

I also haven't come out to my kid yet. He's 14, and I only see him once a week supervised because of my poor mental health. His mom has him in a conservative school district, and he's already been teased for not having a dad because of me being in his life so little. I'm going to talk to my therapist today about it. And probably our supervisor (who's also a therapist) soon. Then likely have to email my ex-wife and explain the situation to her and see if she wants to try co parenting on this or if she wants to just leave me to it. I'll probably apologize to my ex too, for my end of all the things her and I put each other through. Tell her something like, I really wasn't myself when we were together. :::

::: spoiler spoiler

::: spoiler i like women :)))

::: spoiler i am gay :))))))))

:)))))))))))))))) :::

I hate that stupid mouse

::: spoiler this is a weird one, it's probably some kind of dysphoria? I guess? cw uh weird body stuff, weight discussion, mild brainworms Does anybody else ever feel really under-developed to the point of almost being like, neotenous??? I know this is weird as fuck.

It's a given I guess that most adult men are like three times as wide as me, and a considerable portion of people are much taller than me too. (I know I know, "god I wish that were me", I'm sorry) But the average woman (cis or trans doesn't matter) also seems a lot more like, physically substantial than I am. It's probably the tiny noodle arms, (funny) really small cup size (lol) and perpetual ability to see my ribs because weight does not gather on my torso, but sometimes I do kind of feel like an overly tall child standing in a room of adults. My brother is way bigger a dude than I, even, and we aren't more than two years apart.

I think some of this might partially be mtfg brainworms, 'cause I know once or twice I've seen particularly shitty trips imply that anons were "pedobait" but that's not the kind of thought that enters my head about this stuff. I guess it feels like for all the changes I've affected, I still have a very similar build to when I was 17, you know? Idk if this makes any sense. I feel fuckin "underdeveloped" somehow...

One of the big ones I guess, and maybe this is one of the last "gender envy" things I still feel: my wife's hips are like 3× as wide as mine, it's incredible. I have pretty decent proportions myself, got a lot of mileage out of redistribution and hip tilt, but my wifey's figure is bottom-heavy u feel... my miniscule pelvis proving no match for her power as she hip-checks me :::

Ranking labels by how comfortable I feel applying them to myself

Future woman, very comfortable.
Woman, depends on the moment. Right now it feels weird but sometimes is very comforting.
Lesbian, actually feels really comfortable. I suppose that makes sense, if I'm a woman I'm definitely attracted only to other women.
Trans, What might make less sense is it feels more weird to call myself trans. I know that if I'm a woman, I must be a trans one, but it still feels very weird.
lgbt/queer, And finally, possibly making the least sense, calling myself lgbt or queer is the most weird feeling label on this list.

I'm too terminally online to write an actual good, well formatted post but I feel more comfortable calling myself a women then I do trans, and calling myself lgbt feels even weirder. And that seems very odd to me.

What the fuck. In a month I will have known I'm trans for 4 years. What the fuck.

Getting gender affirmation by running cables around the house, bedecked with tools and shit like I'm a dyke handyman

Just finished my first exercise routine since prior to my surgery. Get back and now I see why my notifications were full of "DOUBLE THREAD"

Idk why it's taken me this long to come chill in the mega

I want to complain about HRT dosage and endocrinologists. Back when I took E via pills, I had some okay hormone levels going, but on the order of my new endo I switched to gel. I don't understand why, but it just doesn't work properly and I haven't been feeling right for a long while now. The doctor never really cared of course. I swear they're trained to think of "cross-gender" hormones as some rare poison that's the ultima ratio for the strange patients. Anyway, I'll be getting a new one soon and if they also suck, I'll have to look into getting a better one at the next town over. Why does it have to be that difficult?

I thrifted a flowy silk skirt, and of all my pretty clothes, it’s the best.

This mega was poppin, it slapped, awesome week

I found this critique of L's voice training guide, and I think it does a good job explaining why the guide is considered to be outdated. A lot of the concepts and exercises mentioned are still frequently used within the trans community, so it's definitely worth reading through, even if you're not using L's guide

Trying to get my partner to watch chainsaw man with me is proving to be a uphill battle

I'm so gay

Getting gender euphoria by sitting at the kitchen table cracking sunflower seeds and drinking tea like an old Chinese grandparent.

I need it

Maybe the bullet was combined with the gender change potion from Terraria is actually had the goal of transing Trump's gender instead of killing. Guess we'll just have to wait and see.

i dunno was thinking of putting on makeup and cute clothes for no reason today

The nurse who drew my blood this time was much less intimidating, but she still mentioned water.

Would it surprise you if I told you the HEXBEAR logo has been erased completely again. I just watched the 24-72 hour time lapse, it's funny to watch us make art, completely move, make more art, move again, rinse repeat

All the "we wont fill the remaining white space, dont expand the canvas!!" - yeah sure, maybe because instead of working collaboratively you're just stalking trans people and destroying their art - NATO freaks are fascist dogs

https://canvas.fediverse.events/#x=687&y=362&zoom=50&tu=https%3A%2F%2Fhexbear.net%2Fpictrs%2Fimage%2Fbbdc775e-c22e-432b-bfaa-4836c0246313.png&tw=1000&tx=0&ty=0&ts=DOTTED_SMALL

I love my local bar! I just went into a stall in the men's and there was some graffiti that said, and I quote, "Trans men are the sexiest, hands down".

Neat! Sure, I'm agender and not actually a man, but still, if people try to hassle me here, it's pretty guaranteed that won't fly, so that's cool! You love to see it!

I did the Sudoku in 16:24

::: spoiler tucking question So like what happens if the balls don't stay in the inguinal canals, like at all? I mean not even for a second? I guess I could be really good at muffing since the entrances are so fuckin slippery.

Tucking :::

THIS NEW BLACK DRESSES FUCKS, HFHFIFJGHF

A question for the mega: did my mother have a responsibility not to let her husband (different man to my dad) kick me out of the house before they moved the summer after highschool, purely because he is a comedy transphobe? I would have hated moving way out into a rural area, but probably less so than couchsurfing.

I ask because Idk if there's disagreement on prioritising one's children. If you are a parent: if you are a parent, what is your stance on this, maybe minus the queerphobia. Do you have a responsibility to your child over your partner? Inquiring mind (my dumb ass) wants to know!

Good Day. Today is International Non Binary Peoples Day. A day about visibility for all who identify as Non Binary.

I wish my penis was more cylindrical

My down-with-cis vibes, they grant me strength, give me power beyond measure. Motivate my reanimated corpse to move with grace and force. My down-with-cis aura, it reinvigorates my tired, battered bones, I feel anew with the fire of hatred for cisnormativity that burns blinding within me. Look out.

I'm bringing forward my travel nurse plan schedule. I love working with the kids, but I'm over my coworkers.

I was gonna stay another year, get another $6K off my student loans, but I fucking HATE it here. I'd rather do the 13 week contract thing for twice the money I make now and just pay off loans faster - or even better buy FFS or a BBL.

I started spiro and it's been so good for my mental health but it has caused insomnia for me. It is starting to get to me, I'm only getting 5-6 hours of sleep a night (sometimes less...) I go to sleep and wake up at around the 5 hour mark and can't fall asleep.

I only started like 2 weeks ago. Has anyone else dealt with this? Does it go away? Any tips to get around this? If I could sleep well this is like a miracle drug for me. I really want it to work out

Since we are getting to the end of the mega: ::: spoiler complaining about circumcision I hate circumcision so much, keep your hands off baby's genitals for fuck's sake. Why would you ever just cut a perfectly healthy part off. :::

I want to play death metal but in a queer and gender fucky way

When I sing it's like the karaoke fail in DE but 10x worse. Are there any first-time-since-elementary-school-singer + already-voice-trained-transfem combo guides out there???

Could the state undo legal sex changes? Like is it trivial to figure out who changed their sex & birth certificate or is it a whole ass investigation once it's been done?

Realizing we have trans ghouls and trans ghosts yet still no trans goblins

I need more skirts. Just got my swimsuit bottoms (a "skort"), and I think they're going to work out. However, other than that I still only have TWO other skirts, one of which needs jeans/leggings underneath. I love skirts, I always thought I would never be able to wear them, or I wouldn't look good in them, but they have given me some sort of gender euphoria "power creep" and now they are better than any of my shorts (I really thought those would be my thing). Not gonna lie, this has me wanting to try a dress as well

::: spoiler I have a confession hexbear I do not share your enthusiasm for skirts. I would just like slightly shorter shorts. ::: spoiler I have another confession hexbear I have never tried a skirt, this is purely vibes :::

Been watching this banger video about compulsory heterosexuality n feminism, but

::: spoiler lil bit of transphobia discussion somehow Princess Weekes brought up... the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival? No way, it's actually real?? It doesn't just exist as a bit in Nevada??? Ended in 2015?????

Anyway the video has a couple statements from the Michigan Womyn's people in it, and it contains one of the more bizarre things I have ever seen: the term "trans womyn", spelt with a fucking "y". What does this even mean, relative to "womyn"? What's the difference? Who the literal fuck are these deeply unserious dorks??? :::

I just looked past the thing in the fridge I was trying to find, multiple times.

Is this male brained behavior because of not being able to find something in the fridge, or am I just a silly girl?

There is a wrong answer.

Are the crystal hearts in Celeste meant to be obtainable without a guide?

John Brown wants the trans mega to get to 1865

I feel so trans and so happy right now

I can't think of anything to post but please give me your girl vibes

edit: okay listening to songs with a woman lead is such a bop I love it

Today is a kinda day

::: spoiler CW: suicidal thoughts, emotional flashbacks This week marks five years since my roommate got married. This started a huge existential crisis for me, including suicidal thoughts and withdrawing from pretty much all my friends.

I've been getting panic attacks every time I go into work this week, it feels like it's from remembering that wedding. Literally feeling detached, like I'm piloting my body. But now that I'm really questioning my gender, I feel like it's staring me in the face that I'm just in a big holding pattern. I want to figure out how to speak up for myself. :::

So uh excusing my shameful little autism outburst sorry...

I don't think Chapter 9 is that hard yet. A healthy challenge yeah, but my biggest stumbling blocks were needing to look up obscure solutions. Chapter 8 was all backbreakingly tight timing challenges; Chapter 9 seems to be playing with momentum a lot, and while I dislike the bounce mechanic I can get through it okay.

Celeste is pretty damn hard, like I'd be curious to know the stats on how many people used Assist, (I still have not) but it's not impossible. I can do it actually.

laser session 7 (i think?) done

honestly the pain isn't the problem, but when they're doing the upper lip the cool air blows up your nose and it's hard to breathe. kinda makes you involuntarily panic

bought myself a couple of books afterwards while i was there

https://lemmygrad.ml/pictrs/image/2a3f11df-1e90-43d5-87c8-52d6ab60939a.png

Reading The Sisters of Dorley based on a recommendation in the last megathread. Wonderful writing. That bit is such a mood though

what if it was the hexbear trans magathread and we were all blair white and this bit sucks sorry

I haven’t felt inspired to work on clothing diys for over a month until today. Maybe I’ll do some stuff tomorrow, I want to get my wardrobe a bit more in order before I go back to college.

500 comments, bay-bee

So I'm really starting to wonder if I have autism, and I think you might see why.

Is there anything (book, youtube video, anything) on like... social norms for women/trans women? I have spent my entire life analyzing how I need to act as a guy and now I'm really struggling to understand where the boundaries are and what's expected of me. Some examples:

::: spoiler talking about genitals I didn't know some no op trans women would want their genitals referred to as a clit, and that didn't even enter my mind as an option. What if I had said/done something that upset someone? (I call it a penis, she tries to correct me, and I don't understand and think too literally about it.) And like, if you're going to say "oh well how would you feel about someone doing X thing" this would never have come to my thought process. I never would have considered someone calling my penis anything else? Why would I be upset by that? And apparently a penis is different then a dick/cock? Its confusing and I don't want there to be more out there like this where I end up upsetting someone :::

Can I say I have a stupid girl brain in a jokey kind of way? I feel like I've heard some people say that about themselves, but I also feel like maybe people would see that negatively.

Literally what is up with calling people girls vs women. I am so confused

And like... expectations and how people will perceive me. I just don't understand and keep thinking but getting no where

Should I wear something like this to my sister’s wedding?

Last time I went to get my blood drawn the nurse chastised me for not drinking enough water, so now I am paranoid about it.

::: spoiler dysphoria I love taking my shirt off and crying for no reason

I should say this was last night and I have since recovered (I might wear this shirt until I die though) :::

Rain World lags out my laptop do I borrow my brother’s gaming PC to play or continue trekking on with every other room at like 1 fps

Fucking love industrial music. I need to listen to more industrial music.

My gender is a blend of industrial and post-punk weirdness.

planets ranked by fuckability:

1. saturn
2. mars
3. jupiter
4. venus
5. neptune
6. earth
7. uranus
8. mercury

like and share if you agree

I saw Alexander Avila's video recently and also found a group of trans comrades that are helping me.

I want to try estrogen, I believe, since I was told that I could take it for up to 6 months and not get any permanent effects.

Just try it out and see how I like it.

Here's the video, btw:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=xPxCDOjvi5NIRIrH

managed to go outside today and actually got a bunch of shit done! i bought some new lightbulbs and wooden spoons, picked up a book, bought a plant on a whim, got some files and paint palettes for warhammer, did a lil food shop, and bought a palestine pin for my jacket. exhausted now but pleased with my day so im gonna take a weed gommy and play minecraft:) love all my trans comrades!

Posting in the News Mega is now punishable by death!

Idk if I should even attempt tonight’s sudoku

Aside from breast growth and pelvic tilt I think the biggest thing HRT has done for me so far is getting rid of all my acne. My face looks so much better just from no longer having pimples scattered all over

::: spoiler light sadposting, depersonalization? Just sitting here wishing I was a girl This body does not feel real. Please let me be a girl one day. That's what I really want right now.

To be clear I'm not in that bad a shape right now, maybe I'm just dissociated. Either way I'm not crying so that's a W. :::

Shout out to my partner!

Just randomly feeling like you aren't trans is so weird. Like I was feeling so euphoric earlier, I've been chatting with a couple of you all day about trans stuff, and now I just... don't feel it. This happens semi often too.

The metronome is swinging hard left babyyyy, we're at progress! I'm very trans rn. (Don't think about the fact that it means the metronome can only swing right into reaction).

Also surprised nobody has found the unfinished letter in my typewriter. Its dated 26-06, where I wrote about one line and I haven't worked on it after that.

What are The Trans™ Games? Aside from Heaven Will Be Mine ofc

Playing Celeste is one of the few things that assuages my desperate need to read weird shit. Getting my dose of Trans™ Media® through vidya is fuckin sick honestly. Usually I get stuck spinning the Weird Trans Novel plate and the Cool Viddy Gaems plate. I like this better.

Bit idea

Trans guy who voice trains to sound like Elvis

::: spoiler cw weirdo sex shit I decided I feel at least a lil weird about the fact that, via the use or nonuse and varied doses of antiandrogens, I can basically decide how much sex drive I have. 25mg cypro totally obliterates any sexual thoughts, 0 is the awooga zone, 12.5mg is like 10% gay sex thoughts.

This is super fucking weird. I guess if you're allosexual you'd just match your drive to however much sex you want to have, or whatever? But for me I kinda wonder what's right, what I want. I don't mind 10% gay sex thoughts I guess? But having the choice or requirement to decide this feels so strange. Like, I guess I could just be horny all the time or whatever (ech) if I took spiro or did monotherapy? Is it normal for allos to just get led around by the nose on account of their sex drive? What actually is sexual desire??? I guess it feels so weird because cis ppl talk about sex drive as an innate attribute you might raise or lower, not a lever to throw for fun. :::

Does anyone else have reoccurring dreams where you end up topless in school or some other place and are like "oh no, people will see my boobs/that I have boobs"?

news mega collaborated with joe biden to beat us

::: spoiler anxiety and bad mental health stuff I seriously wish I had a different brain because mine is completely dysfunctional. I don't even aspire to not be mentally ill anymore, I honestly just aspire to be mentally ill in a way that lets me still be a functioning person. I get horrible anxiety from completely innocuous things like checking/answering messages, filling out forms, looking at social media (other than the hexbear trans mega), and doing literally anything that requires a modicum of executive functioning. It's not anxiety I can exactly push through either, it's so bad it makes me feel really shaky and ill when I have to do any of it and can send me into multi-day panic spirals. And all of it is stuff I need to do in order to yknow, exist in modern society.

The cocktail in my brain of autism + adhd + ocd + trauma + depression + garden variety anxiety is brutal. :::

::: spoiler Dysphoria, Body Image I can’t tell how wide my shoulders actually are and how much of it is body dysmorphia. :::

My mom keeps suggesting I open a storefront for girls my height and shoe size. I seriously wanna but only cause I wanna call it Dysphoria. Sounds like a hyped fashion brand if you didn't know the name. Right now it'd just sell hoodies but I wouldn't mind having a place for people with >size 12 US shoe size a place to buy heels...

1945

We're back!

::: spoiler cw: sex organ stuff Okay the increased spiro dose seems to have worked, I feel so much better now that I'm back to not having to deal with erections. :::

I FUCKING BEAT SWORD SAINT ISSHIN

i am the greatest video game player of all time. no one has achieved this feat before

Bit idea:

Voice training

Wearing pajama pants and a sweatshirt is gender affirming care, this is so comfy :comfy:

::: spoiler spoiler I am actually going to start struggling to wear boy clothes even more. But I'm happy right now and that's my focus. :::

I spent the weekend literally touching grass. My husband's best friend has a cabin up in Michigan, and this is our 10th year going up there with him and his wife for the holiday. They are two of our closest friends, honestly family at this point. I went foraging for wild raspberries and I got a whole bunch. I'm going to turn them into jam.

I also took the opportunity Saturday night to come out to them since it was just the four of us. I was sooooo anxious but they took the news great! They made me feel so loved and accepted that I cried later that night once the adrenaline wore off.

Sunday we went to a local art fair and that was a lot of fun too. Every time we take our dog to some kind of event like that she ends up with her own fan club. Everybody loves a fluffy butt Corgi.

All in all 10/10 weekend.

I NEED TO ANNEX THE FUCKING PROVINCE WHY THE FUCK IS FUCKING FUCK FUCKER IN THE ALLIES FUCK YOU

Feeling bored today, might try some makeup looks

Today’s song with fun gender vibes: The World is a Scary Place by TRANSISTRRR

Hardcore punk music. The lyrics slap.

god I feel so much better after shaving. I need to get my hands on an ipl, this feeling needs to be permanent. I'm sure I've asked about it before, so I'll try to be brief.

I'm pre hrt, it would still be effective for me, right? I know face is off limits (and I think back too?), but is there any where else that I need to avoid? How much will it hurt? And where/who is a good place to look for reviews?

we're so back

https://canvas.fediverse.events/#x=696&y=366&zoom=22

The pink army has been fought off for now.

::: spoiler sad posting, dysphoria I just feel sad. There's a disconnect between my body and who I am. It might actually be multiple years before I can get on E (though I'm trying not to think about it/be too doomer but I just can't get my hopes up for sooner). How can I keep up pretending. How can I get my shit together when I'm like this. I couldn't get my shit together before this and now its just going to be fucking worse. I suck. :::

Dear Celeste, we are tentatively breaking up. It's not your difficulty or your pixel art, it's that you have the utter gall to be a pixel art platformer that takes 30+ hours for a reasonable person to complete, and that you lock story behind extremely high roadblocks.

Chapter 8 is this brief, deeply obnoxious run of timing challenges; Chapter 9 picks up narratively after The Summit (7) and it's about twice as long as any standard chapter, and straining my ability to play. I hate bounce mechanics because certain hitboxes are scuffed, I hate the inconsistent Hold-Jump-for-bonus-lift mechanic, this chapter hasn't had a cutscene since the start anyway. Would Mega Man X be good if it was three times as long? Deeply unserious.

Im currently engaged in an internal debate about throwing out some mouldy fruit in my kitchen. Having written this out though ill just compost it.

thanks comrades

go to bed at 4pm for 1 hour "nap"

wakeup 7 hours later

Many such cases

I got really high today and I no-filtered explained my current life situation to an old friend I haven't talked to for awhile. Between writing it all out for her and reprocessing trauma while going through it and her only response being basically different versions of "are you okay??" it has finally dawned on me that I maaaaaybe am not doing okay

I just did the math y'all. If we keep up our current momentum, we could have 4,200 COMMENTS by the end of the week. This is not clickbait, nor is it likely a very accurate representation of posting habits, but it definitely is simple mathematics, and we can totally work with that.

::: spoiler source Mega has been up for (4) hours, there are (168) hours in a week (247), and there have been approx. (100) comments in these 4 hours. 168/4 is 42, 42100 is 4200. Simple math(s). I'm actually horrible at math(s), this could be wrong :::

(if it motivates you all it would definitely be enough to beat the news comm again)

SOLVED FOR X:

This video @6:40, the high spring block falls. You hit it as it's falling and it launches you through the key, refilling your dash, like so:

allowing you to jump to the other side of the platform.

autism is really fucking embarrassing

i deserve to be bullied for shitting up your megathread.

I just finished fucking trans women and really liked it/want to read more. Especially trans women telling their experiences, history, explaining trans to new chicks. Not really looking for fiction.

I plan to post my thoughts on ftw later, I am still fully processing it. Sorry if I've asked before but I feel so different now then I have... like ever.

I read about half (If I remember right) of my lesbian experience and really liked it, but that was like a month ago and again I've just progressed a lot. I plan to revisit now though.

Had a friend over and cooked dinner while ranting about my teenage years and the inhumanity of cisciety.

Not explicitly trans but I want trans mega to win again this week soooo

I've gotten back into randomizers last weekend by playing La-Mulana 2 randomizer. I'm not sure if it's because I haven't memorized it like I had the first but it took me like 12 hours to get to the end where I can usually clear the first in under 3 hours. It was also a rude seed that made me kill 3 bosses with only a knife though I guess that showed me how easy the bosses are in LM2 as I didn't struggle that much. Maybe I'll do another randomizer today for LM1. Or maybe Career Day

Anyone like/play randomizers?

Our posting power knows no limits

Trans excellence

Todays Edie song recommendation: Ocean Princess.

There is nothing trans about it, I just really like Two Steps From Hell. Although Ocean Princess isn't that bad of a name for trans stuff.

what a good Questions to ask in here to create enough Comments to easly leave behind the Newsmega ?

I'm tryna cook a post about [weird book you have never once heard of but it has a lot of important-sounding accolades on its cover] but it's not working. I am not being allowed to cook rare...

A lot of people here have been talking about music this week, so I want to add my two cents in a way that's almost completely unrelated!

I like a certain type of music, as it becomes a sort of "special interest" for me before the ADHD in me decides it's done playing with my Autism and it needs something new. Right now, I love Djent, a sub-genre of Progressive Metal, although to a greater extent Metal as a whole could be labeled as my "special interest". However, metal is extremely dominated by men, and Djent even more so. I think one of the reasons I fell in love with Djent specifically was the high-pitched vocals, as well as the tendency for the vocalists (like Periphery's) to cite inspiration from female vocalists. It wasn't quite the same though, so I began a search for bands that could fit my criteria (I also wanted to be able to sing along, in a more feminine rather than the masculine tone that dominates the space). Well, I found a couple of bands. Both of them no longer release the same type of music (one moved on to pop-rock, and the vocalist just left the other one ).

TL;DR, for those of you who like Djent, Progressive Metal, Metalcore, or even Metal at all, I have a couple of suggestions! You may have even seen them buried in the music comm, if you look!

https://hexbear.net/post/2982922 - The Ralph's Delimiter EP is great! It's short, and the mixing could use a little work, but it was an EP, and I loved it, so I'm not complaining!

https://hexbear.net/post/2876061 - Destiny Potato's LUN album is also amazing. It's a bit more proggy, while also being more Djenty. It takes it to the extreme, and the vocals really make the album work! This song in particular fits that description, but the album really takes you on a ride in terms of how it feels!

Anyway, that's my music recommendation post, as well as what I am listening to. There are others (listen to TesseracT's Altered State, an atmospheric ambient masterpiece) but if I went into everything than what relevance this post had would quickly disappear (there's too many bands with cis men). So, enjoy, or don't if this isn't your type of music, either way I just wanted to share some smaller bands that I had to do quite a bit of digging to actually find.

Also, I was hoping for some sort of trans representation in the Djent (or even metal scene), but if women are rare, than trans people are myths and legends. I do not know of a single one .

Every time hexbear’s UI glitches and takes away the notification I keep unread from my gf I panic.

I just read My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness (2016) by Nagata Kabi and it fucking destroyed me moments all around.

::: spoiler spoilers for the manga/CW: sex work, depression, eating disorder, lots of venting

• I do have daydreams about hiring a very hot fem twink to have sex with me but I talk myself out of it every time. Either it's a waste of money (even though money isn't a concern, my parents became landlords after COVID), I'm too ugly to even pay for someone to have sex with me, they'll turn out to be a kidnapper etc.
• I do struggle with not having any real life friends and I do depend on my parents for a lot of things. My life right now is just doing errands for my parents while trying not to die of the summer heat.
• My only experience with sex is getting caught by my English teacher while grinding on this guy in the library and some random person I found on grindr while I was underage. So i basically have the sex = bad mindset that I repeat to myself.
• I too have an eating disorder that's tied to my mood swings. Sometimes I just get uncontrollably mad and raise my voice at people and afterwards im like "wow that was so cisgender male rage im not really trans."

It's incredible how every plot beat of her manga can have a 1 to 1 pairing with my own life. I'm still in university right now so I can still turn it around. Apparently in 2016 she paid around $360 adjusted for todays inflation on a single night with a lesbian sex worker, thats a lotta monies! :::

It is a good short read but very much introspective angst and heavy af but it is very real to the struggle of chronically lonely queer people who never had any sort of queer childhood growing up but are still gay.

::: spoiler Chat I think I might not really be trans... I first played New Vegas on PS3

If it took me years to even play it on PC let alone mod it am I really trans?

"Save file too big, sorry game will crash" - statements from games developed for utterly deranged hardware :::

is chappell roan queer coded

So I’m modifying a pair of men’s shorts to fit me, and I am realizing that I’m just into waist-high shorts. Ideally for the more “masculine” look (under current patriarchy etc etc) I would have my shorts sit around my hips and not my waist but come on. Waist high shorts just look so much better. Even when it comes to long shorts (these are like, typical men’s shorts that go down to the knee and I like that about them. I just also want them to be waist-height).

https://hexbear.net/pictrs/image/bbdc775e-c22e-432b-bfaa-4836c0246313.png

new template for canvas moving the bear

https://canvas.fediverse.events/#x=687&y=362&zoom=50&tu=https%3A%2F%2Fhexbear.net%2Fpictrs%2Fimage%2Fbbdc775e-c22e-432b-bfaa-4836c0246313.png&tw=1000&tx=0&ty=0&ts=DOTTED_SMALL

Dont share it this time lol, I saw it in a matrix chat and I think thats about when people jumped on it

beatboxing puppy

::: spoiler Quick! While everyone is distracted, Imma post weird!!! Every time I see someone mention [any one of a specific subset of really weird and kinda scary books], it feels both like reality has broken and extremely comfy and relaxing. Wifey has assured me that these [specifically weird novels] are not that uncommon or obscure... but like I dunno, there are news articles here or there and Goodreads reviews, not really random people I run into though. So whenever some Queer Video Essay Tuber or whatever mentions one offhand it makes my day, I act so regularly.

Weirdly, even though most of the [slippery spooky literary fiction]s have slightly to painfully lib sensibilities, I guess just being about trans people is too much for liberals, 'cause the more I've dug into less lib queer spaces, the more hits I've had with people reading weird shit. Very cool. I will find the book club that's made for me someday. :::

1700 btw