Weekly Trans Megathread for the Week of 3/18 - 3/24
I hope everyone had a great week! Hang out. Chat. Talk about what's going on. Have fun :3
frankfurt_schoolgirl [she/her] - 2.3yr
I took in a trans girl who's a refuge from Florida and now she's sleeping on my couch. We've known each other for a while, so I told her she could stay because her other option was apparently living in her car in random northeastern cities. So far, we've gotten along really well, which is good cause I have a little 1 bedroom apartment. She's been through a lot, and I'm not completely sure she's ok, but she has made some progress with job interviews around here, so it seems like she's trying to get established. I'm not really sure how she's going to find another place to live tho, rent is so expensive and such.
On Sunday, I invited my other local trans friends (all two of them) over and we all made dinner together. It was honestly really wholesome and nice. I just want to have a bunch of trans friends and to feed them all tasty meals and take care of them.
33
kristina [she/her] - 2.3yr
More and more people are doing this and it's rad
17
Aliveelectricwire [it/its, she/her] - 2.3yr
Just got asked if "that transgender stuff" is my mom's fault by her. For context I came out as an IV drug addict and trans at the same time. She was more upset at being trans than me slamming heroin. Thankfully it was ten years ago. Still hurts.
33
Aliveelectricwire [it/its, she/her] - 2.3yr
For context it's been 8 years clean of heroin and ten years on hrt
32
LesbianLiberty [she/her] - 2.3yr
8 years clean
14
kristina [she/her] - 2.3yr
Damn that's one way to soften the blow of being into heroin I guess
7
RION [she/her] - 2.3yr
Good news: got my hair cut in a way I generally like
Bad news: sometimes makes me look like Lord Farquaad
Worse news: the job I interviewed for (which precipitated the haircut in the first place) rejected me, although it remains unclear how much of that was due to my Farquaadity
27
Babs [she/her] - 2.3yr
I went to a small robotics tournament this weekend and was worried that making my robots pink, white, and blue with trans flags painted on them might have been a bad idea at such a STEMmy event, but I actually met a couple other really cool trans gals there and my bots got a lot of compliments! The whole community was actually super wholesome in general and there were a lot more women and families than I expected.
It's also starting to get warmer here which is a real double edged sword. Winter means I get to bundle up and hide my dysphoria in oversized hoodies and overalls, but if I feel like dressing up cute I don't have many options. Otoh when it's warm I get to be adorable every day, but if my BDD decides to ruin my day I have nowhere to hide my grotesque body.
Being trans is weird.
26
BountifulEggnog [it/its, she/her] - 2.3yr
I love hoodie weather soooo much why can't it be hoodie weather all the time 😤
14
Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her] - 2.3yr
made a whole 4 sandwiches and 5 little snack packs for me for work this week. this is gender affirming care :)
i know this reads like a shitpost but honestly it took me being nice to myself for the egg to crack after not doing it for over 2 decades. being nice to myself really is gender affirming care, dammit
23
SnowySkyes - 2.3yr
That's a big mood. I know how you feel.
11
Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her] - 2.3yr
:)
10
SnowySkyes - 2.3yr
Just be sure to never stop. Self-care is probably the most important tool you can have.
12
SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them] - 2.3yr
The time has come.
22
EpicKebabEater [he/him, it/its] - 2.3yr
I apologize for being cringe on this forum before. I strive to be a better poster in the future.
Messed up my T injection so I had to use my back-up ampule. R.I.P.
Also first time going to a psych today. It went a lot better than I expected, probably going towards a legal ID change but I got prescribed Lexapro on first sitting and I am not sure whether I should take it.
22
JohannaChittarra - 2.3yr
down with cis
22
🎀 Seryph (She/Her) - 2.3yr
::: spoiler CW Voice dysphoria, Verbal abuse
For context, I've done some voice training over the past few years and was really happy about my progress. One night while practicing though my mother was awake when I thought she'd been sleeping and she started insulting my voice. Then in the months after she would consistently yell at me if my voice changed register/pitch even a little bit while talking. I've been unable to do my femme voice without using way too much mental focus since then.
Last night I just out of the blue started crying about my voice and that inability to use it. It's so fucking frustrating to know that I have the ability to do a pretty good femme voice but I just can't use it because of this dumbass mental block. It's not even that I hate having my masc voice; I like having it as a voice, I just hate it being my voice.
I've complained about this to an irl friend before and he just told me how much she loves my (masc) voice. I understand that they meant it as a compliment but I just feel nothing when I hear it. To his credit she seemed to have realised after I explained that it doesn't comfort me, since the last time it happened they just went with an "I'm sorry" which felt better. But people just keep complimenting my masc voice, it genuinely might be the most common compliment I get.
And then I'm stuck here, knowing that I can do a femme voice, having heard and fallen in love with that voice, but I'm unable to replicate it anymore because of some stupid shit my mother said that gave me a mental block. And I just randomly start crying about it sometimes now, I guess.
:::
I have my first meeting with an endo today. Very nervous. Hope it goes well
18
frankfurt_schoolgirl [she/her] - 2.3yr
Good luck!
13
DerEwigeAtheist [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.3yr
The doctor refused to treat me because of my "negative attitude".
I was negative cause he suddenly wanted psychological attests, that are neither recommended to demand, nor legally required.
Now I am sad, and unsure where to go next.
20
iridaniotter [she/her] - 2.3yr
Wtf
10
DerEwigeAtheist [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.3yr
Yeah, am wondering what the point of medical laws is, if the doctor can just reject you based on vibes, if you insist on the legally recognised standard of care.
Like why have pro-trans legislation, if it doesn't matter, if there is no reason to not just ignore it.
17
Des [she/her, they/them] - 2.3yr
holy shit as if i already didn't have white coat and medical anxiety
thats so fucked not looking forward to my first forays
8
good_girl [she/her, they/them] - 2.3yr
::: spoiler dysphoria
I'm a week past my first E injection after switching from pills to IM. I started feeling kinda crappy yesterday but now I'm at work and I feel myself starting to disassociate. My mind feels like it's stumbling or treading molasses. My next injection is on monday and I know i have to be patient but man this sucks
:::
18
SnowySkyes - 2.3yr
You got this. Stay strong. The first couple weeks on injections are the roughest. Once you get past that, it’s smooth sailing.
14
good_girl [she/her, they/them] - 2.3yr
Thank you, this genuinely means a lot.
12
frankfurt_schoolgirl [she/her] - 2.3yr
I totally had a similar problem where I feel really frustrated, angry, and anxious the day before my injection. I ended up moving the injection day around so that it was a day when I didn't have much going on and it wasn't such a problem if I felt bad. I do think it's getting better now that my levels are more stable tho, so it might just take a couple months.
4
Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her] - 2.3yr
wish my hair was longer
probably going to take like 2 years minimum to get it where i want
damn
18
Aliveelectricwire [it/its, she/her] - 2.3yr
Horse shampoo. I am not even shitting you. It'll take 6 months, will smell like oats tho. Get it on amazon
10
Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her] - 2.3yr
It'll take 6 months, will smell like oats tho.
so what's the downside?
on a serious note, is there anywhere I can read about using horse shampoo for hair growth?
8
Aliveelectricwire [it/its, she/her] - 2.3yr
I can't find anything other than personal testimonials but my hair is at ass length after using it for a year. If I wasn't going through a mental health crisis I would find some for you
11
Aliveelectricwire [it/its, she/her] - 2.3yr
Also the only downside I had was I smelled like oats
9
Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her] - 2.3yr
that's literally not a downside?????
11
frankfurt_schoolgirl [she/her] - 2.3yr
She could probably just start with biotin lol
5
Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her] - 2.3yr
[Logic: Heroic] SUCCESS: You live in a world of increasing mass surveillance, rapidly advancing face tracking technologies, in a visibly declining society in which the security state grows by the minute. Are you seriously about to voluntarily map out your own face in Faceapp just to see what a crude AI thinks is you but more femme?
Yes. Do it.
18
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
i absolutely never did the same and any data faceapp has to indicate the contrary was forged to defame me
16
Ocommie63 [she/her] - 2.3yr
Hiii, I hope everyone is/will have a good week. Much love 🥰🥰🥰🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🥰🥰🥰
18
Des [she/her, they/them] - 2.3yr
what a happy surprise
ordered a bunch of clothes and accessories and other stuff for my partner and I through ali express. order sat never sent then auto canceled after 14 days. got my $ back a few days ago
then there's this huge bag of stuff sitting on my porch yesterday. somebody fucked something up lol but hey it makes up for the time a different ali package got stuck at the post office and sent back automatically with no refund so i don't feel bad
17
Tommasi [she/her, pup/pup's] - 2.3yr
I've decided to tell my mom I'm trans, probably this week or the next. I know she'll be supportive, but I've been worried (probably irrationally) that she might feel sad or hurt. Which is kind of a dumb reason, because I know if it was up to her she'd want to know anyway. but I'm still nervous about it.
I think she might have figured it out anyway. I live pretty far away from my family, but I've seen them a couple times the last two months, and even though I was boymoding I know I still appear pretty different than I did before, and some of the things she said to me on the phone lately made me think she suspects something's up.
17
lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them] - 2.3yr
on my 3rd injected dose of estradiol after switching from pills! I'm not sure if there's a noticeable difference yet, but I do feel that I'm more-or-less past the weird phase where the estradiol levels from the injections hadn't stacked enough to match the estradiol levels I had been getting from pills. and my 4th injection will be this Thursday!
on a related note, has anyone tried an autoinjector for E or T injections? I'm specifically considering this one from Union-Medico, as I've seen it recommended by trans people on reddit. I've noticed the hardest part of doing my own injections is getting past the fear of the initial jab, and this lil' device handily overcomes that by making it a simple button press – but for a whole $125, after conversion from EUR to USD, which is a bit steep.
and related to that, for my fellow transfems doing subcutaneous injections, do y'all jab at a 45º or 90º angle? and, if so, with what length of needle? I have 5/8" needles, and I'm wondering if those may be too long to go straight in at 90º...
16
Kuori [she/her, pup/pup's] - 2.3yr
i do IM but i jab straight in to the hip at 90° with inch and a half long needles, so i think you should be fine if your concern is going too deep
11
Tommasi [she/her, pup/pup's] - 2.3yr
I use the same needle and I jab at an angle that's closer to 90º now, but not quite straight. When I started out I did closer to 45º, but I got a lot less itching and irritation when I switched to an angle that wouldn't put the medication that close to the skin.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually giving myself an IM when I do thighs, because I have skinny legs ( ), but it won't really matter if you do, and recommended IM for skinny peole is still a 1 inch needle at a 90 degree angle iirc.
9
lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them] - 2.3yr
oh, you inject subQ into your thighs? is that fairly straightforward?
the nurse that trained me on self-injections said that lower abdomen was a better place to inject, but honestly I'm not liking injecting there (it's itchy for a bit after injecting, and oddly sore for a couple days), so I've been debating switching to thigh or ass (literally just for the meme of being able to say I'm injecting HRT straight into my ass).
10
Tommasi [she/her, pup/pup's] - 2.3yr
Yeah, I rotate between both sides of abdomen and thighs so I don't use the same area too often, but for me thighs are more comfortable. It's pretty straightforward, the area of the thigh that you can use for subQ is really large and hard to miss, but be sure to search it up beforehand if you're considering it of course.
11
lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them] - 2.3yr
the area of the thigh that you can use for subQ is really large and hard to miss, but be sure to search it up beforehand if you're considering it of course.
oh wow, I was under the impression it was a fairly small area, but just looked it up and there's about as much thigh to aim at as there is belly. thank you, this is really helpful!
9
iridaniotter [she/her] - 2.3yr
Going to play "Heaven Will Be Mine" and finally figure out what's the deal with Halimede.
16
milistanaccount09 [she/her] - 2.3yr
Yesss enjoy and good luck, I hope you enjoy it :) I can offer some tips if you'd like because there is some weird structure in the game but obviously no pressure
6
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
have fun! have you read we know the devil?
::: spoiler spoiler
it won't help, she barely shows up and is only vaguely like the real halimede (because we're seeing her at work as plot is happening)
:::
5
iridaniotter [she/her] - 2.3yr
I have not. Should I play that as well?
3
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
it's a great game, i'd say so. it's by the same people and it take place in the same universe. it's about 3 queer kids at a christian summer camp and any more would be getting into spoilers. kind of vaguely horror adjacent but not really, it's mostly just a character study. but the way it fleshes out the kids in such a short amount of time (you can do all 4 routes in maybe 2 hours) is incredible, i love the worst girls since eve so much. i actually like it more than hwbm, though hwbm is also amazing and worth playing
it isn't necessary for hwbm though, there's not much actual crossover between the 2, just some mentions of characters and setting details from wktd in hwbm, plus the fact that all the principle characters in both share a naming scheme. you can easily play hwbm first and then do wktd, but you should do wktd
5
DerEwigeAtheist [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.3yr
I feel better than yesterday, I talked to some local tran women, and they gave me the adresses of some docs who are not assholes, but I am still kind of done from yesterday. I don't have much time, to arrange something, but I need some time to recover from the last attempt
15
good_girl [she/her, they/them] - 2.3yr
I was laying in bed last night and came to the sudden and somewhat panicked realization that the disparity in my mental and emotional moods between when i'm at work where I'll never be able to come out and when i'm at home or with friends who i'm out to is so large that I'm eventually going to burn out, and it may be sooner than I think.
I need to leave this place asap but I have so many things I need to get in order before I can even think about applying to new jobs. I really wish I didn't let myself become dependent on this fucking place but unless I can find a new job that will pay me enough to afford rent I'm stuck here.
A friend did mention working at the casino he works at. From other friends that have worked there before it seems to not be the best, but it has potential to pay 1.5k+ a week working in the cages.
Maybe if I time things out correctly I can apply to the new place while being visibly trans and make my own life easier.
OH OH OH I told myself I'd buy paperback versions of Nevada and Whipping Girl after I started coming out and I finally picked them up on saturday. Unfortunately I only found out about this cool little anarchist-coded bookstore in my city AFTER I bought these books at B&N.
I still want to check them out tho in hopes that they have some feminist books available.
I've been interested in finding and reading Who's Afraid of Gender as well as Gender Trouble among a few others.
Is there any that some of y'all transfemmes can recommend?
14
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
Gender Outlaw by Kate Bornstein! Also if you like Nevada, Detransition Baby by Torrey Peters would be worth trying among some other things
Also read the Gender Accelerationist Manifesto if you haven't!
8
good_girl [she/her, they/them] - 2.3yr
Thank you for the recs, will do!
6
SnowySkyes - 2.3yr
My cycle and a pretty bad chest cold have hit me at the exact same time. I feel like I got run over by a truck while doubled over with cramps. This is so miserable.
14
Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.3yr
When did your cycle start being a thing? I'm like about 4 months in and no sight of a cycle yet
6
SnowySkyes - 2.3yr
Two months into HRT. It has persisted since then and has only intensified since then. I'm currently 19 months into HRT.
5
Tommasi [she/her, pup/pup's] - 2.3yr
I was so nervous I almost threw up, but I went to the local trans meet-up!
It was my first time presenting explicitly as a woman in public and I feel so incredibly happy, everyone was so kind and welcoming.
14
Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her] - 2.3yr
look idk how else to put it but for years i thought i just had the cis kind of dysmorphia that's totally a real ass thing
13
SnowySkyes - 2.3yr
Mood. Again. Are you me per chance? Long lost twin?
12
Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her] - 2.3yr
idk, i might have a second account here i post on that i completely forgotten about
6
GenderIsOpSec [she/her, kit/kit's] - 2.3yr
finally getting my hormones from the state and goddamn it's such a great feeling to not have to worry about my life-saving medicine travelling all across europe before reaching me
also spiro making me go to the bathroom constantly and i have massive cravings for salt
13
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
Pee 'n' pickles, name a more iconic duo.
4
Tommasi [she/her, pup/pup's] - 2.3yr
Getting an uncommon amount of Ws this week. I male failed for the first time today! I'm not open about my gender at work, so I boymode, and was there wearing a gender neutral hoodie and jeans outfit. At some point I had to help this elderly, probably senile guy and his assistant get some stuff into their car, and he starts rambling to me about something I have no idea what is, so the assistant intervenes and tells him "she can't help you with that", without even like a moment of hesitation or anything, as if calling me she was the most natural thing in the world!
13
Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.3yr
Wow that's amazing!!
6
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
This is everyone's daily reminder starting now to read Unjust Depths. Thus far it's literally so good that I regret fucking around with other books and whatever before it. I was wasting time I could have spent reading Unjust Depths
11
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
i'm literally always saying this
9
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
More and more people are saying this!! :)
6
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
trying to spread the good word. i've been about as aggressive about this as i am about utena, though my success rate is lower for some reason (the reason is that one is a reasonable length tv show and the other is a 1.5 million word web novel)
8
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
I think you might be underselling it slightly by not mentioning that the setting has catgirls I laughed out loud when the narration was like " CAT-LIKE EARS TWITCHED", more people need to read 1.5 million word web novel.
I was spooked by the length at first but now it's like, okay so exclusively sapphic ensemble cast featuring catgirls and trans mech pilots, and it doesn't end??? I'm gonna pay for this because I want it forever ❤
9
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
i didn't know it had catgirls when i first read it, and it reads as totally normal to me now. like, of course it has catgirls! and yeah, i get a massive new like, 10-20k word chapter every other week where i either get cute gay shit that always has at least one trans woman involved and often has more, kickass mech fights, or lengthy political diatribes that i eat up like candy. or if i'm lucky, all three
if i mentioned catgirls i'd mention a couple other things that you haven't seen yet, which i'll drop under a spoiler box just in case you'd prefer to be excited
::: spoiler not a real spoiler
doggirls! and elves! and various type of fishgirl! and they all have distinct cultures that are a delight to read more about
:::
4
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
OF COURSE it has catgirls why the fuck wouldn't it?! This is such an easy sales pitch, everyone should be reading this. I convinced the goodreads commie lady to read it lol.
I'll sequester myself from the couple other things and come back even more hyped in all likelihood :) I really thought this was gonna be the all-Murati-all-the-time show, but I'm shocked at how much I love Yana. Everyone thinks she's a pro cause she cleans up well, but actually she is trash
Also is this mega the best place to yammer about it? I have tons of little thoughts I could be spilling 24/7 so I wanna make sure I'm clogging the right thread or comm with em.
7
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
hell yeah, i keep trying to get more people to read it but somehow this pitch isn't working literally everyone i talk to? but i've now gotten at least 3 or 4 people to read it through this site, maybe more who didn't mention it or who i've forgotten
i post most of my thoughts in the general site mega, but when i'm talking about new updates i also post in the trans mega. everyone on this site should be reading it, but like. especially the trans posters
6
EndOfHerstory [she/her] - 2.3yr
Just started Utena today after seeing you recommend it a few times, so I guess I gotta start Unjust Depths soon...
3
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
3
EndOfHerstory [she/her] - 2.3yr
I'm on episode 29 of Utena now, and I'm downloading the Unjust Depths epub for when I have more energy to read next week.
3
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
yesss, hahaha, YESSSS
the last 10 episodes of utena are incredible, and i hope you enjoy unjust depths!
3
Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.3yr
Cw sex
::: spoiler spoiler
Uhm I had sex with my ex again. She's the only person who will have sex with me lol but its definitely not healthy. Today I didn't feel as bad but I'm always left with this feeling of "Am I even trans?" afterwards. Like, frankly I enjoy fucking and I was pretty good at it as a guy at least. And so when I have sex I just kinda... do that. Idk what else to do tbh. It's fun for sure but Like yeah... not very gender affirming. I find it's much more gender affirming to have sex with guys foe that reason but.... ugh men. Idk. I'll take any advice
:::
10
SnowySkyes - 2.3yr
::: spoiler CW: More sex talk
I have been and currently am in the exact same boat as you (minus the ex part). As a warning, my advice isn't fun, but it is what worked for me, kinda.
Up until a few months into HRT, I used my penis to have sex with my partner. It wasn't the worst thing in the world, but I certainly didn't like it much. It solved the problem of I'm horny, she's horny, do this and we're not horny anymore. However, we had to take a break for a few months because surgery, but we did it eventually have sex again. This time, it sent me into a wild spiral of dysphoria that took me a while to recover from because of the exact question you posed yourself. "Am I even trans?" After recovering from that extreme spiral of dysphoria, I came to a solution. It was to simply take a secondary role in sex and not bother with my penis or my own pleasure. I simply pleasured her and when she finished, I was finished. That means I've simply not had any active role in sex for a long time now, but it also means that I'm not falling into deep depression because I used my dick.
This is not an easy mindset to get into and just straight up might not work for you. After all, I'm mostly a top with other women so it wasn't any sort of issue. I also garner pleasure from the pleasure of others. So who knows. It might work for you. I genuinely hope you do find a solution though. Your situation is a very unfun one to be in.
:::
9
Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.3yr
I think it is made even more complicated since it's with my ex, but yeah. I may consider this.
::: spoiler spoiler
The thing is... I kinda like using it? It just leaves me questioning and feeling weird. And there are so many women who top in a gay way. I just don't know how to top in a gay way haha. The secondary Weird feelings are that I'm scared I'm falling back into a relationship with my ex. There are a few reasons why I really shouldn't do that and the first being that I can't be in a relationship rn at all. I need to be self focused. But the second is that I'm trying to figure out what I want in a relationship, and I kinda wanna try dating guys too because I've just never given that a shot. Idk I'm venting now 😅
:::
9
RedQuestionAsker2 [he/him, she/her] - 2.3yr
Sex
::: spoiler spoiler
I understand what you mean when you say fucking isn't really gender affirming and that you are kind of accusing yourself of falling into old habits as opposed to working with a newer "feminine" thing.
However, you might try to reflect on this and try to decouple the idea of "giving" and masculinity vs "taking" and femininity. You mention that you enjoy it and you're good at it so... Keep enjoying it! You'll just be a woman who's likes to fuck and is good at it.
Now, if you feel your partners are pushing you into that role or you only do it because it's familiar, then that's a different story.
Try not to overthink it and just enjoy the things you enjoy. And keep experimenting to see if you like other things more.
:::
8
vertexarray [any] - 2.3yr
The henny got me wetter than whale piss
I die for this shit like Elvis
10
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
Update on goodreads commie lady for literally anyone who cares, because I would like to have more trans friends haha:
Still kind of awkward here and there, haven't talked about weird books that much because I kind of refuse now. However, she was already in the know about Madiha S., so selling her on Unjust Depths has been a huge boon. Solid ground for conversation, that encompasses many subjects to stray into. Doesn't even feel that much like a hostage negotiation now, very cool. Feel like I've made progress.
It is really weird however when allosexuality. She is REALLY quite fixated on the sexy aspects of Unjust Depths, which is like, I mean yeah I guess? It has had one scene so far which was neato, because a lot of authors get cold feet when it comes to their transbian leads fucking, but it was pretty brief. Ya girl treats it like the greatest smut ever lmao. Glad she's hyped ig...
8
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
[Unjust Depths posting] I'm sorry to the author but this shit with Elena and Gertrude is so fucking boring. Yeah Gertrude is okay as far as being a soldier lady goes, but THERE ARE TRANSBIANS AND CATGIRLS on that fucking boat!!!! I want to go back to them!!! Shit, I'd probably even prefer Prince Erich and his evil twink to this. I did not sign up for a regency romance, I signed up for semi-automated luxury transbian underwater communism.
::: spoiler light spoilers for.chapter 4.x idk
Update: Okay so MAAAYBE it's cute that Elena's late mum was in lesbians with Bethany, her maid, and Bethany feels sort of motherly toward Elena about it because they're all gay, and I know probably the Brigand will swing by and use these gays to cause revolution, but buuuhhhhh I miss Murati I miss Yana save me gay commies... gay commies save me...
:::
8
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
yeah chapter/book 4 is a big slowdown. one of those things where in retrospect it has a lot of really important stuff that goes into some really interesting places, but even as someone who was a little more into the regency romance stuff it was still kinda frustrating
it introduces some incredible stuff, but i was very happy to return to the gay commies
4
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
I can tolerate it, I can forsee some of the cool stuff fwiw. It's a shame though because everything from the 3rd Battle of Thassal Plain through the Yana Drama to boarding the Brigand to the leviathan battle was 10/10 nonstop awesome. I don't mind Elena & Gertrude, or Bethany even, but as the cast of characters ballooned I was worried it'd cause pacing issues :/
5
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
yeah the pacing is at its worst at this point. it suffers a bit with the big cast at some future points, but generally i think madiha has a much stronger handle on it going forward
4
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
Good :3 I still love it fwiw, like there's honestly probably nothing the author could do to make me not read the entire thing at this point. I recommended it to a woman I know in a lib queer discord, it's SUCH a great story to sell people, it has everything ✨
Also the prince is definitely secretly gay with his twink guy right? Like I'm not misreading the sexual undertones there, am I?
5
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
oh 100%, if you assume any given character is queer you'll basically always be right
4
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
I love to hear this, it's how it should be!
6
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
unjust depths is borderline heterophobic. like, if you wanted to invert the way standard homophobic storytelling is done it would look very similar to unjust depths. very few straight characters, it's treated very clearly as a personality flaw in all of them
5
Wake [she/her, they/them] - 2.3yr
I wanted to go to the monthly meeting for the local trans group last night but I chickened out at the last minute. Why am I liked this?
7
Wake [she/her, they/them] - 2.3yr
In other news, I got a really cute shirt that has a cartoon corgi that looks like mine and it says "world's okayest corgi mom".
7
Kuori [she/her, pup/pup's] - 2.3yr
anxiety is normal. there's always next time
6
Ceres [she/her] - 2.3yr
been having an interesting experience where my bisexuality helps clarify gender stuff, and understanding my gender helps being bi finally click for me, in a reciprocal way. For example ill watch something and seeing a cool confident fem character alongside a cool confident masc character will cause clear gender envy for the former and a now-comfortable attraction to the later, such that everything finally makes sense.
What does the father-son bond even mean now? I'm so confused
6
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
::: spoiler Guess I'll shit up this mega one last time, soz and thanks for having me ✨
Now that I'm in Arc 2 of Unjust Depths, I literally had to go remind myself who Sonya Shalikova is (pale skinny mech pilot with something against Murati) because it's been near two whole books, like 17 sub-chapters, since we last saw her. I legit forgot she was onboard the Brigand.
To be fair & for comparison, The Last Girl Scout is also a pacing disaster and can bog down at times, it comes with the territory of a big sweeping dramatic narrative. I still don't love it though, I'm having to homework-check myself on the crew of the brigand. There's that lady who does the announcements who was late the first day, Yana and Aaliyah, the bridge crew has the navigator guy(a guy, woah!) and that trans gamer girl and the "full figure" lady, uh and there's the fishgirl security guard? I think that's most of em?
Also, I like Shalikova. She seems to hate absolutely everything and everyone and I just can't help loving her bitter cynicism layered over some sort of trauma. Also there is no fucking way in hell she's not autistic, my headcanon has decided. "Hell really was other people!" Beloved.
Conversely, I don't think I love Genivov much, because she doesn't seem like she respects people's privacy, or desire to be alone I guess. Also she's a total fuckin g*mer. Plus, who the fuck describes another woman as "buxom"????? Yes, give me the angry misanthrope lady instead please ✨
Anyway I adore the Brigand as a setting, it is as comfy and mundane and slice-of-lifey as I'd hoped. Underwater mech ballets to the death and intense ship-to-ship combat is rad, but it's all the more rad for the contrast against the little moments of calm. Sorry I could go on about Unjust Depths literally forever, I'd never run out of things to say about it
:::
6
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
::: spoiler unjust depths!
yeah i remember having forgotten a lot of the characters from the brigand at this point as well. thankfully it does a pretty good job of reminding you of the important bits, and pretty firmly establishes the whole cast in a way that sticks because we get to spend more time with them. shalikova's great, i love her. she's just like me fr fr
geninov is obnoxious and kind of a creep but like everyone in the cast she has her moments. i would absolutely take shalikova over her any day though
and yeah the brigand is just really good, lots of time spent on the day to day workings of the ship and the people who make that possible, lots of really great slice of life moments. it's got a great sense of place. i wouldn't mind you going on about it forever, but that would get in the way of you actually reading anymore lmao
4
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
::: spoiler Oh my god this shit is soooo gooood
It does true, we also have a lot of new buddies including "I'm a living machine" Zachikova (which, I'm assuming that's more of an "I identify with my metallic/electronic bits and it fucks" rather than a self hate thing) and Unjust Depths' very first enby, Valya!!! Awwwh man I'm excited to have None Biney in this tbh :) The scene where Murati was monologuing about how cool &rad & diverse her diver squad is, followed by introductions, was awkward in a really endearing way. Shouts to Sameera for not being a dog of the empire It's so dorky how loup wag their tails all the time, makes me giggle.
She is LITERALLY ME, I'm excited to see what Shalikova's deal is whenever we do.
Oh wait, so I'm not just being an asexual buzzkill, and Genivov is actually an obnoxious creep? Uh oh that's a baaad sign, worse than I thought
The author is actually really good at giving locations substance generally I'd say, like we spent maybe seven chapters in Vogelheim but it basically felt like a pocket of royalty-fantasy undersea, quality stuff. Also I don't think it would, I sort of got the sense that I'm crowding out other people in the mega with more relevant things to say, (because this thread is like 50% Unjust Depths goodposting by volume) but short of that I could easily post an update every day, every two days. I didn't even talk about the Khaybar Shimii jihad because I didn't wanna ramble too long, or the anarchists, like I'm boiling over with thoughts about it and getting through 4-8 subchapters per day!
:::
5
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
::: spoiler ikr????
yeah i really like the whole crew of the brigand. zachikova rules, the whole diver squad rules, i love how proud murati is to be part of such a cool squad. shalikova is probably my favorite member but i do really like them all
ehh, a little? like, i think calling her a creep was probably a bit too far on my part but she's definitely horny in a kinda gross way. she's not enough of a creep that it's actually a problem, just a little obnoxious in her internal monologue
and that's true, i don't know that it's a problem as long as it's all spoilered for length, but i get it. i guess you could move your unjust depths posting to the main mega and then space wouldn't be as much of a problem. i'd need to start checking it more though, because i definitely want to hear your thoughts!
plus at the end of the week the trans mega is always kinda dead, it gets a lot of posting for the first 2-3 days but then it really slows down. imo it's not a big deal
:::
4
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
::: spoiler I cannot shut up about this lol
100% agreed, tfw you dont live on an undersea diver carrier with a diverse gaggle of rad n bad queers Need this type of thing in my life...
I'm glad I'm not totally out to lunch on that one at least, shit was kinda uncomfortable right after that shower bit :| Her thing with Fernanda is kinda fun at least......
Alright uh, yeah I spoiler posts as much for length as I do actual spoilers, not wanting to dominate the thread... But I guess megas do tend to go quiet after a few days so it's not terrible? Was kinda hoping some high-powered posting would bring life to sleepy megas I guess I'll just keep posting here with your blessing ✨
Also, uncritical support to the Khaybar Shimii and their jihad against the goofy racist-ass anarchist Bosporans. Uncritical support to Majida leading said jihad. When u need allies against the imperials but ur guys cant stop being racist imperial freaks for two seconds and get their insides superheated by Shimii psionics
:::
5
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
::: spoiler spoiler
yeah, god. i think the brigand sounds like an unbelievably nice place to live, even with the whole secret spy mission thing going on and adding stress
and the khaybar shmii rule, it's so good to have a story that's willing to look at this sort of thing and go "no the people doing this are cool and good and firmly in the right." majida is so cool, i love her
:::
4
Wake [she/her, they/them] - 2.3yr
You two are gonna convince me to read this. I just wish there was an audiobook version so I could listen to it while driving around for work.
2
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
[Even more Unjust Depths posting]
I guess it follows that if there are catgirls, there must also be puppygirls! Me rollin' when Ingrid literally says "awoo". I'm a silly puppy in the fascist regime barkarwuff!!!
6
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
yessss the puppygirls!!!!! introducing catgirls with aaliyah being fumbled by yana and being the cool commissar of the ship, while doggirls are introduced as literal imperialist dogs is a brave choice, but as a puppygirl myself i don't mind
5
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
Lmao I never even thought about that, this is high art. Premium stuff!
4
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
::: spoiler Same as usual, spoilers for all of Unjust Depths 4.x
At the end of book/chapter 4, I like it well enough even if I still think it was a big pacing misstep for Unjust Depths. I see why it was necessary, at least, appreciate what it introduces. Bethany is a-ok in my book, I respect her, and I like the dynamic it's built between Marina and Elena. Elena in particular is now set to stop being vapid & immature, which will be cool. The look inside of the empire was also neat, although I will say it's a bit tough to see the fash as menacing when they're also all hopelessly gay, but it does make them funny & enjoyable villains c:
Still, when Murati walks into that cargo depot I'm like TRANSBIAN COMMIE MY BELOVED, HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU I'm also excited that Elena and Gertrude are probably gonna be star-crossed lovers on opposite sides now :)
Anyway this omnibus epub has intermission stuff on the end of 4, and I'm like no reeeeeee keep going I wanna see Aaliyah again!!!
E: Oh man, I think Sawyer was just jealous that Victoria got to live the dream and be taken in like a sad lil animal by mommy domny ten years her senior, lmaooooo
Also that was, definitely the most kitty scritches headpets scene I have ever seen in any fiction. Huh... It was uh descriptive.
:::
5
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
::: spoiler unjust depths!
i like elena and marina's whole deal a lot, and yeah the empire gets some really interesting stuff in this bit
the intermission chapters are all really good, but yeah i would always like more of the brigand. thankfully there is so much brigand stuff in the future for you
yeah sawyer was 100% jealous lmao. i don't blame her, that kitty scritch scene is really something
:::
4
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
::: spoiler Yeah!!
They were worth the setup even if it took like ten lil chapters. I want to see them on the brigand interacting with the crew, I'm so looking forward to that! Also regarding the interludes, the idea that some church type would have psionic powers and spin it as godly insight to become the head of a christofashy state is awesome, I really dig that. Also if she bleeds out her eyes more that'd be funny :>
I actually really deeply hate Sawyer now, which is not unexpected but kind of unforunate. The way she just stands by and lets Rue get called an "inferior" and shit, but also gets arsey when Rue bugs her about it teasingly? Victoria should have killed her tbh
Something... I never thought about scritches that way, yeah... "[...]from the base to the tip"? Uhhhh?
:::
5
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
::: spoiler 100%
yeah, lemme tell you when they get to interact with the brigand it's fantastic. all the intermission chapters are really good memorable stuff that gives you a great sense of the broader world
sawyer sucks, just a really unpleasant person
:::
4
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
::: spoiler c:
I like Sophia and Irene that was rad, tbh I haven't read an intermission I dislike yet :)
Truly, which makes her the best villain in the plot currently
:::
5
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
::: spoiler spoiler
sophia and irene are really good, yeah. i like all the intermissions a lot
we haven't gotten many villains at this point, who's her competition?
4
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
::: spoiler spoiler
I assume uh, Erich von Fueller plus evil twink? And probably the sun cult people, and the funny stigmata lady? And the fash guy Sawyer is working for! They've all had less development than Sawyer, so I assume they're being set up for later evildoing?
:::
5
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
new unjust depths chapter!
::: spoiler 13.8
elena and conny reconciling is nice
ulyana remains the baddest bitch in the seas, her gula conversation is really fantastic.
oh my GOD i need to see aatto and elena rooming together that sounds like the worlds biggest trainwreck
murati eating chips and getting distracted thinking about how important corn is as a crop... she's just like me fr
valya finally getting focus, i'm glad to see it. mysia seems interesting, i'm excited to see where this goes
yoooo aaliyah's log talking about the meeting is so good. gloria IS deeply unserious. tamar talking about the shmii pirates is uh. really something. but more importantly AALIYAH AND ULYANA DATE NIGHT! AALIYAH'S IN LOVE
homa looking forward to dancing with kalika is also very cute
:::
5
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
I'm not lookin at this yet bc spoilers but I'll catch up soonish
6
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
::: spoiler [Yet more Unjust Depths posting]
At the point where there's a mech battle involving a National Socialist aristocrat pilot screaming her head off at a psychic autistic gay catgirl, I realised that Unjust Depths may be ever so slightly silly
:::
I really enjoy both reading this & also posting about it, I'm having a lotta fun.
5
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
::: spoiler unjust depths posting up to where you are
the psychic powers were the thing i mentioned earlier. they're a staple of gundam, with almost every series involving them to a greater or lesser extent, and that's true of the genre more broadly as well. like i said, not something major but something that could potentially feel out of place without that context (though it seems like it didn't)
it is slightly silly, isn't it
:::
and i'm glad you're enjoying it! i am enjoying seeing you post about it, so this works out nicely
4
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
::: spoiler Posting in return!
Oh, that didn't actually seem that weird to me c: Once the agarthite power stuff was introduced and established as basically magic that could tear holes in time? I was kinda prepped for lightly fantasy elements, plus psionics are pretty normal for scifi tbh. What's a lil psychic powers between residents of the Imbrian Empire right
The battle at Vogelheim with those two verbally battering eachother though, that was the point when I was like "Gun-damn is when young people lead the military and take out their highschool drama on eachother in mechs" We love our slightly silly gundam-inspired underwater communism drama, don't we folks?!
:::
Awwww well shucks y'know
5
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
::: spoiler posting posting posting
yeah, i figured it wouldn't read as weird, but then second guessed myself and thought i might be overestimating how common psionics are in broader scifi stuff because i've basically only been looking at mecha stuff where it's basically universal
yeah that's basically gundam! though sometimes it isn't high school drama and is instead other kinds. like, in first gundam the school drama is reserved for members of the same faction, like char and garma (who are college exes) are both from zeon, while char and amuro are meeting each other and coming to understand each other on the battlefield. of course unjust depths is better than gundam at this on account of being about lesbians and communism
:::
4
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
::: spoiler Pooooooooosting!
Haha what a nerd! Look at this mecha dork :)
"Coming to understand eachother on the battlefield" cute lol. Gundam has been casually on my watchlist for a long time, but I am gonna have to shed my Unjust Depths related expectations whenever I do because yeah, lesbians and communism...
:::
5
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.3yr
::: spoiler mailing
the only gundams i'd say are even remotely on the same level as unjust depths are turn a gundam (basically a perfect show, not openly communist but like, has a material understanding of the world that never goes away and hates the industrialists, protagonist is probably trans? reads as such to me) and iron blooded orphans (about struggling against imperialism, but mostly about dudes and some of the women aren't treated amazingly) and though turn a especially is hitting hard i still prefer unjust depths
:::
4
buckykat [none/use name] - 2.3yr
Psionics in sf is less common now, but it was very common throughout 20th century sf.
3
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
I am now crossposting between megas. Be afraid
::: spoiler Unjust Depths posting except there's no spoilers, I'm just rambling about how good it is!
I'm not too worried about Unjust Depths' cast getting bigger and bigger anymore. I used to be, and it probably has over 40 named characters by now; while I was worried that it would lose the plot at various points, it doesn't really. There are long stretches here or there where you aren't with the "main cast" on the Brigand, but the fluid perspective that can follow anybody gives you a really wide variety of viewpoints on current events. Plus, UD is pretty much all killer no filler, like any pagetime that a Brigand crewmember gets is dense with stuff about them. We only spent maybe two or three chapters following Shalikova and I already wanna go back and know more! I'd also be excited to get into Zachikova's semi digitised brain. Or hang out with Valya, or go watch Sameer bug her crewmates with enthusiasm...
I guess my point is, there are pacing issues here or there, but the quality of story presented never drops below "goated" and I rescind my comments about the Vogelheim arc being boring. I just want more of everyone who's been introduced, other than Sawyer obviously :)
Anyway the current happenings circa 5.6 is that Murati is taking Zachilova and Shalikova into Serrano to extract THEIR VIP, and I'm so ready for the Brigand and the Vogelheim plotlines to finally cross paths...
:::
SnowySkyes in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
Weekly Trans Megathread for the Week of 3/18 - 3/24
I hope everyone had a great week! Hang out. Chat. Talk about what's going on. Have fun :3
I took in a trans girl who's a refuge from Florida and now she's sleeping on my couch. We've known each other for a while, so I told her she could stay because her other option was apparently living in her car in random northeastern cities. So far, we've gotten along really well, which is good cause I have a little 1 bedroom apartment. She's been through a lot, and I'm not completely sure she's ok, but she has made some progress with job interviews around here, so it seems like she's trying to get established. I'm not really sure how she's going to find another place to live tho, rent is so expensive and such.
On Sunday, I invited my other local trans friends (all two of them) over and we all made dinner together. It was honestly really wholesome and nice. I just want to have a bunch of trans friends and to feed them all tasty meals and take care of them.
More and more people are doing this and it's rad
Just got asked if "that transgender stuff" is my mom's fault by her. For context I came out as an IV drug addict and trans at the same time. She was more upset at being trans than me slamming heroin. Thankfully it was ten years ago. Still hurts.
For context it's been 8 years clean of heroin and ten years on hrt
Damn that's one way to soften the blow of being into heroin I guess
Good news: got my hair cut in a way I generally like
Bad news: sometimes makes me look like Lord Farquaad
Worse news: the job I interviewed for (which precipitated the haircut in the first place) rejected me, although it remains unclear how much of that was due to my Farquaadity
I went to a small robotics tournament this weekend and was worried that making my robots pink, white, and blue with trans flags painted on them might have been a bad idea at such a STEMmy event, but I actually met a couple other really cool trans gals there and my bots got a lot of compliments! The whole community was actually super wholesome in general and there were a lot more women and families than I expected.
It's also starting to get warmer here which is a real double edged sword. Winter means I get to bundle up and hide my dysphoria in oversized hoodies and overalls, but if I feel like dressing up cute I don't have many options. Otoh when it's warm I get to be adorable every day, but if my BDD decides to ruin my day I have nowhere to hide my grotesque body.
Being trans is weird.
I love hoodie weather soooo much why can't it be hoodie weather all the time 😤
made a whole 4 sandwiches and 5 little snack packs for me for work this week. this is gender affirming care :)
i know this reads like a shitpost but honestly it took me being nice to myself for the egg to crack after not doing it for over 2 decades. being nice to myself really is gender affirming care, dammit
That's a big mood. I know how you feel.
:)
Just be sure to never stop. Self-care is probably the most important tool you can have.
The time has come.
I apologize for being cringe on this forum before. I strive to be a better poster in the future.
Messed up my T injection so I had to use my back-up ampule. R.I.P.
Also first time going to a psych today. It went a lot better than I expected, probably going towards a legal ID change but I got prescribed Lexapro on first sitting and I am not sure whether I should take it.
down with cis
::: spoiler CW Voice dysphoria, Verbal abuse For context, I've done some voice training over the past few years and was really happy about my progress. One night while practicing though my mother was awake when I thought she'd been sleeping and she started insulting my voice. Then in the months after she would consistently yell at me if my voice changed register/pitch even a little bit while talking. I've been unable to do my femme voice without using way too much mental focus since then.
Last night I just out of the blue started crying about my voice and that inability to use it. It's so fucking frustrating to know that I have the ability to do a pretty good femme voice but I just can't use it because of this dumbass mental block. It's not even that I hate having my masc voice; I like having it as a voice, I just hate it being my voice.
I've complained about this to an irl friend before and he just told me how much she loves my (masc) voice. I understand that they meant it as a compliment but I just feel nothing when I hear it. To his credit she seemed to have realised after I explained that it doesn't comfort me, since the last time it happened they just went with an "I'm sorry" which felt better. But people just keep complimenting my masc voice, it genuinely might be the most common compliment I get.
And then I'm stuck here, knowing that I can do a femme voice, having heard and fallen in love with that voice, but I'm unable to replicate it anymore because of some stupid shit my mother said that gave me a mental block. And I just randomly start crying about it sometimes now, I guess. :::
https://lemmygrad.ml/pictrs/image/f3920d64-24cd-4db2-ada3-48c465ee9d84.png
My hair is so amazing I love it AHHHHH
I have my first meeting with an endo today. Very nervous. Hope it goes well
Good luck!
The doctor refused to treat me because of my "negative attitude".
I was negative cause he suddenly wanted psychological attests, that are neither recommended to demand, nor legally required.
Now I am sad, and unsure where to go next.
Wtf
Yeah, am wondering what the point of medical laws is, if the doctor can just reject you based on vibes, if you insist on the legally recognised standard of care.
Like why have pro-trans legislation, if it doesn't matter, if there is no reason to not just ignore it.
holy shit as if i already didn't have white coat and medical anxiety
thats so fucked not looking forward to my first forays
::: spoiler dysphoria I'm a week past my first E injection after switching from pills to IM. I started feeling kinda crappy yesterday but now I'm at work and I feel myself starting to disassociate. My mind feels like it's stumbling or treading molasses. My next injection is on monday and I know i have to be patient but man this sucks :::
You got this. Stay strong. The first couple weeks on injections are the roughest. Once you get past that, it’s smooth sailing.
Thank you, this genuinely means a lot.
I totally had a similar problem where I feel really frustrated, angry, and anxious the day before my injection. I ended up moving the injection day around so that it was a day when I didn't have much going on and it wasn't such a problem if I felt bad. I do think it's getting better now that my levels are more stable tho, so it might just take a couple months.
wish my hair was longer
probably going to take like 2 years minimum to get it where i want
damn
Horse shampoo. I am not even shitting you. It'll take 6 months, will smell like oats tho. Get it on amazon
so what's the downside?
on a serious note, is there anywhere I can read about using horse shampoo for hair growth?
I can't find anything other than personal testimonials but my hair is at ass length after using it for a year. If I wasn't going through a mental health crisis I would find some for you
Also the only downside I had was I smelled like oats
that's literally not a downside?????
She could probably just start with biotin lol
Hiii, I hope everyone is/will have a good week. Much love 🥰🥰🥰🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🥰🥰🥰
what a happy surprise
ordered a bunch of clothes and accessories and other stuff for my partner and I through ali express. order sat never sent then auto canceled after 14 days. got my $ back a few days ago
then there's this huge bag of stuff sitting on my porch yesterday. somebody fucked something up lol but hey it makes up for the time a different ali package got stuck at the post office and sent back automatically with no refund so i don't feel bad
I've decided to tell my mom I'm trans, probably this week or the next. I know she'll be supportive, but I've been worried (probably irrationally) that she might feel sad or hurt. Which is kind of a dumb reason, because I know if it was up to her she'd want to know anyway. but I'm still nervous about it.
I think she might have figured it out anyway. I live pretty far away from my family, but I've seen them a couple times the last two months, and even though I was boymoding I know I still appear pretty different than I did before, and some of the things she said to me on the phone lately made me think she suspects something's up.
on my 3rd injected dose of estradiol after switching from pills! I'm not sure if there's a noticeable difference yet, but I do feel that I'm more-or-less past the weird phase where the estradiol levels from the injections hadn't stacked enough to match the estradiol levels I had been getting from pills. and my 4th injection will be this Thursday!
on a related note, has anyone tried an autoinjector for E or T injections? I'm specifically considering this one from Union-Medico, as I've seen it recommended by trans people on reddit. I've noticed the hardest part of doing my own injections is getting past the fear of the initial jab, and this lil' device handily overcomes that by making it a simple button press – but for a whole $125, after conversion from EUR to USD, which is a bit steep.
and related to that, for my fellow transfems doing subcutaneous injections, do y'all jab at a 45º or 90º angle? and, if so, with what length of needle? I have 5/8" needles, and I'm wondering if those may be too long to go straight in at 90º...
i do IM but i jab straight in to the hip at 90° with inch and a half long needles, so i think you should be fine if your concern is going too deep
I use the same needle and I jab at an angle that's closer to 90º now, but not quite straight. When I started out I did closer to 45º, but I got a lot less itching and irritation when I switched to an angle that wouldn't put the medication that close to the skin.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually giving myself an IM when I do thighs, because I have skinny legs (
), but it won't really matter if you do, and recommended IM for skinny peole is still a 1 inch needle at a 90 degree angle iirc.
oh, you inject subQ into your thighs? is that fairly straightforward?
the nurse that trained me on self-injections said that lower abdomen was a better place to inject, but honestly I'm not liking injecting there (it's itchy for a bit after injecting, and oddly sore for a couple days), so I've been debating switching to thigh or ass (literally just for the meme of being able to say I'm injecting HRT straight into my ass).
Yeah, I rotate between both sides of abdomen and thighs so I don't use the same area too often, but for me thighs are more comfortable. It's pretty straightforward, the area of the thigh that you can use for subQ is really large and hard to miss, but be sure to search it up beforehand if you're considering it of course.
oh wow, I was under the impression it was a fairly small area, but just looked it up and there's about as much thigh to aim at as there is belly. thank you, this is really helpful!
Going to play "Heaven Will Be Mine" and finally figure out what's the deal with Halimede.
Yesss enjoy and good luck, I hope you enjoy it :) I can offer some tips if you'd like because there is some weird structure in the game but obviously no pressure
have fun! have you read we know the devil? ::: spoiler spoiler it won't help, she barely shows up and is only vaguely like the real halimede (because we're seeing her at work as plot is happening) :::
I have not. Should I play that as well?
it's a great game, i'd say so. it's by the same people and it take place in the same universe. it's about 3 queer kids at a christian summer camp and any more would be getting into spoilers. kind of vaguely horror adjacent but not really, it's mostly just a character study. but the way it fleshes out the kids in such a short amount of time (you can do all 4 routes in maybe 2 hours) is incredible, i love the worst girls since eve so much. i actually like it more than hwbm, though hwbm is also amazing and worth playing
it isn't necessary for hwbm though, there's not much actual crossover between the 2, just some mentions of characters and setting details from wktd in hwbm, plus the fact that all the principle characters in both share a naming scheme. you can easily play hwbm first and then do wktd, but you should do wktd
I feel better than yesterday, I talked to some local tran women, and they gave me the adresses of some docs who are not assholes, but I am still kind of done from yesterday. I don't have much time, to arrange something, but I need some time to recover from the last attempt
I was laying in bed last night and came to the sudden and somewhat panicked realization that the disparity in my mental and emotional moods between when i'm at work where I'll never be able to come out and when i'm at home or with friends who i'm out to is so large that I'm eventually going to burn out, and it may be sooner than I think.
I need to leave this place asap but I have so many things I need to get in order before I can even think about applying to new jobs. I really wish I didn't let myself become dependent on this fucking place but unless I can find a new job that will pay me enough to afford rent I'm stuck here.
A friend did mention working at the casino he works at. From other friends that have worked there before it seems to not be the best, but it has potential to pay 1.5k+ a week working in the cages.
Maybe if I time things out correctly I can apply to the new place while being visibly trans and make my own life easier.
OH OH OH I told myself I'd buy paperback versions of Nevada and Whipping Girl after I started coming out and I finally picked them up on saturday. Unfortunately I only found out about this cool little anarchist-coded bookstore in my city AFTER I bought these books at B&N.
I still want to check them out tho in hopes that they have some feminist books available.
I've been interested in finding and reading Who's Afraid of Gender as well as Gender Trouble among a few others.
Is there any that some of y'all transfemmes can recommend?
Gender Outlaw by Kate Bornstein! Also if you like Nevada, Detransition Baby by Torrey Peters would be worth trying
among some other thingsAlso read the Gender Accelerationist Manifesto if you haven't!
Thank you for the recs, will do!
My cycle and a pretty bad chest cold have hit me at the exact same time. I feel like I got run over by a truck while doubled over with cramps. This is so miserable.
When did your cycle start being a thing? I'm like about 4 months in and no sight of a cycle yet
Two months into HRT. It has persisted since then and has only intensified since then. I'm currently 19 months into HRT.
I was so nervous I almost threw up, but I went to the local trans meet-up!
It was my first time presenting explicitly as a woman in public and I feel so incredibly happy, everyone was so kind and welcoming.
look idk how else to put it but for years i thought i just had the cis kind of dysmorphia that's totally a real ass thing
Mood. Again. Are you me per chance? Long lost twin?
idk, i might have a second account here i post on that i completely forgotten about
finally getting my hormones from the state and goddamn it's such a great feeling to not have to worry about my life-saving medicine travelling all across europe before reaching me
also spiro making me go to the bathroom constantly and i have massive cravings for salt
Pee 'n' pickles, name a more iconic duo.
Getting an uncommon amount of Ws this week. I male failed for the first time today! I'm not open about my gender at work, so I boymode, and was there wearing a gender neutral hoodie and jeans outfit. At some point I had to help this elderly, probably senile guy and his assistant get some stuff into their car, and he starts rambling to me about something I have no idea what is, so the assistant intervenes and tells him "she can't help you with that", without even like a moment of hesitation or anything, as if calling me she was the most natural thing in the world!
Wow that's amazing!!
This is everyone's daily reminder starting now to read Unjust Depths. Thus far it's literally so good that I regret fucking around with other books and whatever before it. I was wasting time I could have spent reading Unjust Depths
i'm literally always saying this
More and more people are saying this!! :)
trying to spread the good word. i've been about as aggressive about this as i am about utena, though my success rate is lower for some reason (the reason is that one is a reasonable length tv show and the other is a 1.5 million word web novel)
I think you might be underselling it slightly by not mentioning that the setting has catgirls
I laughed out loud when the narration was like " CAT-LIKE EARS TWITCHED", more people need to read 1.5 million word web novel.
I was spooked by the length at first but now it's like, okay so exclusively sapphic ensemble cast featuring catgirls and trans mech pilots, and it doesn't end??? I'm gonna pay for this because I want it forever ❤
i didn't know it had catgirls when i first read it, and it reads as totally normal to me now. like, of course it has catgirls! and yeah, i get a massive new like, 10-20k word chapter every other week where i either get cute gay shit that always has at least one trans woman involved and often has more, kickass mech fights, or lengthy political diatribes that i eat up like candy. or if i'm lucky, all three
if i mentioned catgirls i'd mention a couple other things that you haven't seen yet, which i'll drop under a spoiler box just in case you'd prefer to be excited ::: spoiler not a real spoiler doggirls! and elves! and various type of fishgirl! and they all have distinct cultures that are a delight to read more about :::
OF COURSE it has catgirls
why the fuck wouldn't it?! This is such an easy sales pitch, everyone should be reading this. I convinced the goodreads commie lady to read it lol.
I'll sequester myself from the couple other things and come back even more hyped in all likelihood :) I really thought this was gonna be the all-Murati-all-the-time show, but I'm shocked at how much I love Yana. Everyone thinks she's a pro cause she cleans up well, but actually she is trash
Also is this mega the best place to yammer about it? I have tons of little thoughts I could be spilling 24/7 so I wanna make sure I'm clogging the right thread or comm with em.
hell yeah, i keep trying to get more people to read it but somehow this pitch isn't working literally everyone i talk to? but i've now gotten at least 3 or 4 people to read it through this site, maybe more who didn't mention it or who i've forgotten
i post most of my thoughts in the general site mega, but when i'm talking about new updates i also post in the trans mega. everyone on this site should be reading it, but like. especially the trans posters
Just started Utena today after seeing you recommend it a few times, so I guess I gotta start Unjust Depths soon...
I'm on episode 29 of Utena now, and I'm downloading the Unjust Depths epub for when I have more energy to read next week.
yesss, hahaha, YESSSS
the last 10 episodes of utena are incredible, and i hope you enjoy unjust depths!
Cw sex ::: spoiler spoiler Uhm I had sex with my ex again. She's the only person who will have sex with me lol but its definitely not healthy. Today I didn't feel as bad but I'm always left with this feeling of "Am I even trans?" afterwards. Like, frankly I enjoy fucking and I was pretty good at it as a guy at least. And so when I have sex I just kinda... do that. Idk what else to do tbh. It's fun for sure but Like yeah... not very gender affirming. I find it's much more gender affirming to have sex with guys foe that reason but.... ugh men. Idk. I'll take any advice :::
::: spoiler CW: More sex talk I have been and currently am in the exact same boat as you (minus the ex part). As a warning, my advice isn't fun, but it is what worked for me, kinda.
Up until a few months into HRT, I used my penis to have sex with my partner. It wasn't the worst thing in the world, but I certainly didn't like it much. It solved the problem of I'm horny, she's horny, do this and we're not horny anymore. However, we had to take a break for a few months because surgery, but we did it eventually have sex again. This time, it sent me into a wild spiral of dysphoria that took me a while to recover from because of the exact question you posed yourself. "Am I even trans?" After recovering from that extreme spiral of dysphoria, I came to a solution. It was to simply take a secondary role in sex and not bother with my penis or my own pleasure. I simply pleasured her and when she finished, I was finished. That means I've simply not had any active role in sex for a long time now, but it also means that I'm not falling into deep depression because I used my dick.
This is not an easy mindset to get into and just straight up might not work for you. After all, I'm mostly a top with other women so it wasn't any sort of issue. I also garner pleasure from the pleasure of others. So who knows. It might work for you. I genuinely hope you do find a solution though. Your situation is a very unfun one to be in. :::
I think it is made even more complicated since it's with my ex, but yeah. I may consider this. ::: spoiler spoiler The thing is... I kinda like using it? It just leaves me questioning and feeling weird. And there are so many women who top in a gay way. I just don't know how to top in a gay way haha. The secondary Weird feelings are that I'm scared I'm falling back into a relationship with my ex. There are a few reasons why I really shouldn't do that and the first being that I can't be in a relationship rn at all. I need to be self focused. But the second is that I'm trying to figure out what I want in a relationship, and I kinda wanna try dating guys too because I've just never given that a shot. Idk I'm venting now 😅 :::
Sex
::: spoiler spoiler I understand what you mean when you say fucking isn't really gender affirming and that you are kind of accusing yourself of falling into old habits as opposed to working with a newer "feminine" thing. However, you might try to reflect on this and try to decouple the idea of "giving" and masculinity vs "taking" and femininity. You mention that you enjoy it and you're good at it so... Keep enjoying it! You'll just be a woman who's likes to fuck and is good at it.
Now, if you feel your partners are pushing you into that role or you only do it because it's familiar, then that's a different story.
Try not to overthink it and just enjoy the things you enjoy. And keep experimenting to see if you like other things more. :::
Update on goodreads commie lady for literally anyone who cares, because I would like to have more trans friends haha:
Still kind of awkward here and there, haven't talked about weird books that much because I kind of refuse now. However, she was already in the know about Madiha S., so selling her on Unjust Depths has been a huge boon. Solid ground for conversation, that encompasses many subjects to stray into. Doesn't even feel that much like a hostage negotiation now, very cool. Feel like I've made progress.
It is really weird however when allosexuality. She is REALLY quite fixated on the sexy aspects of Unjust Depths, which is like, I mean yeah I guess? It has had one scene so far which was neato, because a lot of authors get cold feet when it comes to their transbian leads fucking, but it was pretty brief. Ya girl treats it like the greatest smut ever lmao. Glad she's hyped ig...
[Unjust Depths posting] I'm sorry to the author but this shit with Elena and Gertrude is so fucking boring. Yeah Gertrude is okay as far as being a soldier lady goes, but THERE ARE TRANSBIANS AND CATGIRLS on that fucking boat!!!! I want to go back to them!!! Shit, I'd probably even prefer Prince Erich and his evil twink to this. I did not sign up for a regency romance, I signed up for semi-automated luxury transbian underwater communism.
::: spoiler light spoilers for.chapter 4.x idk Update: Okay so MAAAYBE it's cute that Elena's late mum was in lesbians with Bethany, her maid, and Bethany feels sort of motherly toward Elena about it because they're all gay, and I know probably the Brigand will swing by and use these gays to cause revolution, but buuuhhhhh I miss Murati I miss Yana
save me gay commies... gay commies save me...
:::
yeah chapter/book 4 is a big slowdown. one of those things where in retrospect it has a lot of really important stuff that goes into some really interesting places, but even as someone who was a little more into the regency romance stuff it was still kinda frustrating
it introduces some incredible stuff, but i was very happy to return to the gay commies
I can tolerate it, I can forsee some of the cool stuff fwiw. It's a shame though because everything from the 3rd Battle of Thassal Plain through the Yana Drama to boarding the Brigand to the leviathan battle was 10/10 nonstop awesome. I don't mind Elena & Gertrude, or Bethany even, but as the cast of characters ballooned I was worried it'd cause pacing issues :/
yeah the pacing is at its worst at this point. it suffers a bit with the big cast at some future points, but generally i think madiha has a much stronger handle on it going forward
Good :3 I still love it fwiw, like there's honestly probably nothing the author could do to make me not read the entire thing at this point. I recommended it to a woman I know in a lib queer discord, it's SUCH a great story to sell people, it has everything ✨
Also the prince is definitely secretly gay with his twink guy right? Like I'm not misreading the sexual undertones there, am I?
oh 100%, if you assume any given character is queer you'll basically always be right
unjust depths is borderline heterophobic. like, if you wanted to invert the way standard homophobic storytelling is done it would look very similar to unjust depths. very few straight characters, it's treated very clearly as a personality flaw in all of them
I wanted to go to the monthly meeting for the local trans group last night but I chickened out at the last minute. Why am I liked this?
In other news, I got a really cute shirt that has a cartoon corgi that looks like mine and it says "world's okayest corgi mom".
anxiety is normal. there's always next time
been having an interesting experience where my bisexuality helps clarify gender stuff, and understanding my gender helps being bi finally click for me, in a reciprocal way. For example ill watch something and seeing a cool confident fem character alongside a cool confident masc character will cause clear gender envy for the former and a now-comfortable attraction to the later, such that everything finally makes sense.
most recently happened while watching this video lol https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qve_9Ut05qk
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
What does the father-son bond even mean now? I'm so confused
::: spoiler Guess I'll shit up this mega one last time, soz and thanks for having me ✨ Now that I'm in Arc 2 of Unjust Depths, I literally had to go remind myself who Sonya Shalikova is (pale skinny mech pilot with something against Murati) because it's been near two whole books, like 17 sub-chapters, since we last saw her. I legit forgot she was onboard the Brigand.
To be fair & for comparison, The Last Girl Scout is also a pacing disaster and can bog down at times, it comes with the territory of a big sweeping dramatic narrative. I still don't love it though, I'm having to homework-check myself on the crew of the brigand. There's that lady who does the announcements who was late the first day, Yana and Aaliyah, the bridge crew has the navigator guy(a guy, woah!) and that trans gamer girl and the "full figure" lady, uh and there's the fishgirl security guard? I think that's most of em?
Also, I like Shalikova. She seems to hate absolutely everything and everyone and I just can't help loving her bitter cynicism layered over some sort of trauma. Also there is no fucking way in hell she's not autistic, my headcanon has decided. "Hell really was other people!" Beloved.
Conversely, I don't think I love Genivov much, because she doesn't seem like she respects people's privacy, or desire to be alone I guess. Also she's a total fuckin g*mer. Plus, who the fuck describes another woman as "buxom"????? Yes, give me the angry misanthrope lady instead please ✨
Anyway I adore the Brigand as a setting, it is as comfy and mundane and slice-of-lifey as I'd hoped. Underwater mech ballets to the death and intense ship-to-ship combat is rad, but it's all the more rad for the contrast against the little moments of calm. Sorry I could go on about Unjust Depths literally forever, I'd never run out of things to say about it
:::
::: spoiler unjust depths! yeah i remember having forgotten a lot of the characters from the brigand at this point as well. thankfully it does a pretty good job of reminding you of the important bits, and pretty firmly establishes the whole cast in a way that sticks because we get to spend more time with them. shalikova's great, i love her. she's just like me fr fr
geninov is obnoxious and kind of a creep but like everyone in the cast she has her moments. i would absolutely take shalikova over her any day though
and yeah the brigand is just really good, lots of time spent on the day to day workings of the ship and the people who make that possible, lots of really great slice of life moments. it's got a great sense of place. i wouldn't mind you going on about it forever, but that would get in the way of you actually reading anymore lmao
::: spoiler Oh my god this shit is soooo gooood It does true, we also have a lot of new buddies including "I'm a living machine" Zachikova (which, I'm assuming that's more of an "I identify with my metallic/electronic bits and it fucks" rather than a self hate thing) and Unjust Depths' very first enby, Valya!!! Awwwh man I'm excited to have None Biney in this tbh :) The scene where Murati was monologuing about how cool &rad & diverse her diver squad is, followed by introductions, was awkward in a really endearing way. Shouts to Sameera for not being a dog of the empire
It's so dorky how loup wag their tails all the time, makes me giggle.
She is LITERALLY ME,
I'm excited to see what Shalikova's deal is whenever we do.
Oh wait, so I'm not just being an asexual buzzkill, and Genivov is actually an obnoxious creep? Uh oh that's a baaad sign, worse than I thought
The author is actually really good at giving locations substance generally I'd say, like we spent maybe seven chapters in Vogelheim but it basically felt like a pocket of royalty-fantasy undersea, quality stuff. Also I don't think it would, I sort of got the sense that I'm crowding out other people in the mega with more relevant things to say, (because this thread is like 50% Unjust Depths goodposting by volume) but short of that I could easily post an update every day, every two days. I didn't even talk about the Khaybar Shimii jihad because I didn't wanna ramble too long, or the anarchists, like I'm boiling over with thoughts about it and getting through 4-8 subchapters per day! :::
::: spoiler ikr???? yeah i really like the whole crew of the brigand. zachikova rules, the whole diver squad rules, i love how proud murati is to be part of such a cool squad. shalikova is probably my favorite member but i do really like them all
ehh, a little? like, i think calling her a creep was probably a bit too far on my part but she's definitely horny in a kinda gross way. she's not enough of a creep that it's actually a problem, just a little obnoxious in her internal monologue
and that's true, i don't know that it's a problem as long as it's all spoilered for length, but i get it. i guess you could move your unjust depths posting to the main mega and then space wouldn't be as much of a problem. i'd need to start checking it more though, because i definitely want to hear your thoughts!
plus at the end of the week the trans mega is always kinda dead, it gets a lot of posting for the first 2-3 days but then it really slows down. imo it's not a big deal :::
::: spoiler I cannot shut up about this lol 100% agreed, tfw you dont live on an undersea diver carrier with a diverse gaggle of rad n bad queers
Need this type of thing in my life...
I'm glad I'm not totally out to lunch on that one at least, shit was kinda uncomfortable right after that shower bit :| Her thing with Fernanda is kinda fun at least......
Alright uh, yeah I spoiler posts as much for length as I do actual spoilers, not wanting to dominate the thread... But I guess megas do tend to go quiet after a few days so it's not terrible? Was kinda hoping some high-powered posting would bring life to sleepy megas
I guess I'll just keep posting here with your blessing ✨
Also, uncritical support to the Khaybar Shimii and their jihad against the goofy racist-ass anarchist Bosporans. Uncritical support to Majida leading said jihad. When u need allies against the imperials but ur guys cant stop being racist imperial freaks for two seconds and get their insides superheated by Shimii psionics
:::
::: spoiler spoiler yeah, god. i think the brigand sounds like an unbelievably nice place to live, even with the whole secret spy mission thing going on and adding stress
and the khaybar shmii rule, it's so good to have a story that's willing to look at this sort of thing and go "no the people doing this are cool and good and firmly in the right." majida is so cool, i love her :::
You two are gonna convince me to read this. I just wish there was an audiobook version so I could listen to it while driving around for work.
[Even more Unjust Depths posting]
I guess it follows that if there are catgirls, there must also be puppygirls! Me rollin' when Ingrid literally says "awoo". I'm a silly puppy in the fascist regime barkarwuff!!!
yessss the puppygirls!!!!! introducing catgirls with aaliyah being fumbled by yana and being the cool commissar of the ship, while doggirls are introduced as literal imperialist dogs is a brave choice, but as a puppygirl myself i don't mind
Lmao I never even thought about that, this is high art. Premium stuff!
::: spoiler Same as usual, spoilers for all of Unjust Depths 4.x At the end of book/chapter 4, I like it well enough even if I still think it was a big pacing misstep for Unjust Depths. I see why it was necessary, at least, appreciate what it introduces. Bethany is a-ok in my book, I respect her, and I like the dynamic it's built between Marina and Elena. Elena in particular is now set to stop being vapid & immature, which will be cool. The look inside of the empire was also neat, although I will say it's a bit tough to see the fash as menacing when they're also all hopelessly gay, but it does make them funny & enjoyable villains c:
Still, when Murati walks into that cargo depot I'm like TRANSBIAN COMMIE MY BELOVED, HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU
I'm also excited that Elena and Gertrude are probably gonna be star-crossed lovers on opposite sides now :)
Anyway this omnibus epub has intermission stuff on the end of 4, and I'm like no reeeeeee keep going I wanna see Aaliyah again!!!
E: Oh man, I think Sawyer was just jealous that Victoria got to live the dream and be taken in like a sad lil animal by mommy domny ten years her senior, lmaooooo
Also that was, definitely the most kitty scritches headpets scene I have ever seen in any fiction. Huh... It was uh descriptive. :::
::: spoiler unjust depths! i like elena and marina's whole deal a lot, and yeah the empire gets some really interesting stuff in this bit
the intermission chapters are all really good, but yeah i would always like more of the brigand. thankfully there is so much brigand stuff in the future for you
yeah sawyer was 100% jealous lmao. i don't blame her, that kitty scritch scene is really something :::
::: spoiler Yeah!! They were worth the setup even if it took like ten lil chapters. I want to see them on the brigand interacting with the crew, I'm so looking forward to that! Also regarding the interludes, the idea that some church type would have psionic powers and spin it as godly insight to become the head of a christofashy state is awesome, I really dig that. Also if she bleeds out her eyes more that'd be funny :>
I actually really deeply hate Sawyer now, which is not unexpected but kind of unforunate. The way she just stands by and lets Rue get called an "inferior" and shit, but also gets arsey when Rue bugs her about it teasingly? Victoria should have killed her tbh
Something... I never thought about scritches that way, yeah... "[...]from the base to the tip"?
Uhhhh?
:::
::: spoiler 100% yeah, lemme tell you when they get to interact with the brigand it's fantastic. all the intermission chapters are really good memorable stuff that gives you a great sense of the broader world
sawyer sucks, just a really unpleasant person :::
::: spoiler c: I like Sophia and Irene that was rad, tbh I haven't read an intermission I dislike yet :)
Truly, which makes her the best villain in the plot currently
:::
::: spoiler spoiler sophia and irene are really good, yeah. i like all the intermissions a lot
we haven't gotten many villains at this point, who's her competition?
::: spoiler spoiler I assume uh, Erich von Fueller plus evil twink? And probably the sun cult people, and the funny stigmata lady? And the fash guy Sawyer is working for! They've all had less development than Sawyer, so I assume they're being set up for later evildoing? :::
new unjust depths chapter! ::: spoiler 13.8 elena and conny reconciling is nice
ulyana remains the baddest bitch in the seas, her gula conversation is really fantastic.
oh my GOD i need to see aatto and elena rooming together that sounds like the worlds biggest trainwreck
murati eating chips and getting distracted thinking about how important corn is as a crop... she's just like me fr
valya finally getting focus, i'm glad to see it. mysia seems interesting, i'm excited to see where this goes
yoooo aaliyah's log talking about the meeting is so good. gloria IS deeply unserious. tamar talking about the shmii pirates is uh. really something. but more importantly AALIYAH AND ULYANA DATE NIGHT! AALIYAH'S IN LOVE
homa looking forward to dancing with kalika is also very cute :::
I'm not lookin at this yet bc spoilers but I'll catch up soonish
::: spoiler [Yet more Unjust Depths posting]
At the point where there's a mech battle involving a National Socialist aristocrat pilot screaming her head off at a psychic autistic gay catgirl, I realised that Unjust Depths may be ever so slightly silly
:::
I really enjoy both reading this & also posting about it, I'm having a lotta fun.
::: spoiler unjust depths posting up to where you are the psychic powers were the thing i mentioned earlier. they're a staple of gundam, with almost every series involving them to a greater or lesser extent, and that's true of the genre more broadly as well. like i said, not something major but something that could potentially feel out of place without that context (though it seems like it didn't)
it is slightly silly, isn't it
:::
and i'm glad you're enjoying it! i am enjoying seeing you post about it, so this works out nicely
::: spoiler Posting in return! Oh, that didn't actually seem that weird to me c: Once the agarthite power stuff was introduced and established as basically magic that could tear holes in time? I was kinda prepped for lightly fantasy elements, plus psionics are pretty normal for scifi tbh. What's a lil psychic powers between residents of the Imbrian Empire right
The battle at Vogelheim with those two verbally battering eachother though, that was the point when I was like "Gun-damn is when young people lead the military and take out their highschool drama on eachother in mechs"
We love our slightly silly gundam-inspired underwater communism drama, don't we folks?!
:::
Awwww well shucks y'know
::: spoiler posting posting posting yeah, i figured it wouldn't read as weird, but then second guessed myself and thought i might be overestimating how common psionics are in broader scifi stuff because i've basically only been looking at mecha stuff where it's basically universal
yeah that's basically gundam! though sometimes it isn't high school drama and is instead other kinds. like, in first gundam the school drama is reserved for members of the same faction, like char and garma (who are college exes) are both from zeon, while char and amuro are meeting each other and coming to understand each other on the battlefield. of course unjust depths is better than gundam at this on account of being about lesbians and communism :::
::: spoiler Pooooooooosting! Haha what a nerd! Look at this mecha dork :)
"Coming to understand eachother on the battlefield" cute lol. Gundam has been casually on my watchlist for a long time, but I am gonna have to shed my Unjust Depths related expectations whenever I do because yeah, lesbians and communism... :::
::: spoiler mailing the only gundams i'd say are even remotely on the same level as unjust depths are turn a gundam (basically a perfect show, not openly communist but like, has a material understanding of the world that never goes away and hates the industrialists, protagonist is probably trans? reads as such to me) and iron blooded orphans (about struggling against imperialism, but mostly about dudes and some of the women aren't treated amazingly) and though turn a especially is hitting hard i still prefer unjust depths :::
Psionics in sf is less common now, but it was very common throughout 20th century sf.
I am now crossposting between megas. Be afraid
::: spoiler Unjust Depths posting except there's no spoilers, I'm just rambling about how good it is!
I'm not too worried about Unjust Depths' cast getting bigger and bigger anymore. I used to be, and it probably has over 40 named characters by now; while I was worried that it would lose the plot at various points, it doesn't really. There are long stretches here or there where you aren't with the "main cast" on the Brigand, but the fluid perspective that can follow anybody gives you a really wide variety of viewpoints on current events. Plus, UD is pretty much all killer no filler, like any pagetime that a Brigand crewmember gets is dense with stuff about them. We only spent maybe two or three chapters following Shalikova and I already wanna go back and know more! I'd also be excited to get into Zachikova's semi digitised brain. Or hang out with Valya, or go watch Sameer bug her crewmates with enthusiasm...
I guess my point is, there are pacing issues here or there, but the quality of story presented never drops below "goated" and I rescind my comments about the Vogelheim arc being boring. I just want more of everyone who's been introduced, other than Sawyer obviously :)
Anyway the current happenings circa 5.6 is that Murati is taking Zachilova and Shalikova into Serrano to extract THEIR VIP, and I'm so ready for the Brigand and the Vogelheim plotlines to finally cross paths... :::