Every fucking time there's an article on trans athletes, cis people just have to display their complete fucking ignorance and will either spread misinformation or act "concerned" (even on this very website) when plenty of research has been done on the topic to conclude that it's a complete fucking non-issue. This discussion should've been moot years ago, but apparently it isn't. It's the one transphobic culture war battle that even so called "allies" keep falling for. Fucking tiresome.
I kinda massively slowed down on taking selfies? Idk I've been super stressed over the last 2 weeks honestly. Also my dysphoria is significantly lower and I'm kinda starting to question if I'm even trans? That being said I basically dress fem as much as possible and am on estrogen and my T is pretty suppressed... all things that would reduce my dysphoria so maybe it's working?
21
milistanaccount09 [she/her] - 2.4yr
yeah I mean dysphoria dropping is a symptom of just being more comfortable in your own body. I had a huge selfie spree too that's leveled off at this point
12
CommieGabredabok [any, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
It's fucking with my head. Before I started questioning my gender, I found all the progressive spaces that were for queer liberation.
Now that I've started to question gender, I've been stumbling across all sorts of queerphobic "communist" spaces: from irl parties, to telegram, discord, and "friends." It really pisses me off, and I get interrogated about "being a liberal."
on a side note: does anybody have any info on how to figure out if your trans or an egg or cis or anything?
20
milistanaccount09 [she/her] - 2.4yr
yeah it sucks how many ostensibly good spaces are unsafe for queer people. for figuring out your gender I would reccomend just taking it easy. if you like being called a woman, great! if you like being called a man, great! if neither works for you, that's also cool! it's an ongoing process, so don't feel like you have to commit to anything either.
12
CommieGabredabok [any, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
Also here is some more context on one telegram experience in particular. Why are telegram channels like this??
: (CW: bigotry)
::: spoiler spoiler
:::
8
kristina [she/her] - 2.4yr
Russia :yea:
8
GhostSpider [she/her] - 2.4yr
on a side note: does anybody have any info on how to figure out if your trans or an egg or cis or anything?
The first says, "become the antagonistic dyke that you are. Cut your hair shortish and weirdlike, and dye it blue and pink or something'. The other wolf is my ten years' progress of growing my hair out. It's long enough to go just past my ass now and it's incredible, but the urge to do something funny with it arises when it causes sensory issues, or gets caught under my wife or something.
Really I wanna be able to swap on the fly...
20
AutomatedPossum [she/her] - 2.4yr
ngl after 3 years of growing my hair out and barely getting it down most of my shoulder blades, i'm jealous of this, but i also relate hard to the wish for more antagonistic dykeness
10
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.4yr
You might get here after growing your hair for six more years :) there's gotta be a solution that's both long hair-ish and antagonistic dyke-ish...
9
AutomatedPossum [she/her] - 2.4yr
Wolf cut that reaches down to the ass in the back?
10
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
Perhaps.........
9
lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
I listened to the first voice and I'm mostly happy with it. I definitely lost the instant femininity buff of mid-back-length hair, but also anyone reading my brightly colored hair and shullet as manly isn't worth my cares anyways.
plus it's pretty cool to have the haircut I picked as being fem-yet-dykish vindicated by Kristen Stewart having the same haircut in that new A24 lesbian movie, Love Lies Bleeding (which I'm definitely going to watch soon™).
but definitely do your own thing! sacrificing several years' growth for the sake of a crazy haircut is certainly a big choice; I just wanted to let you know it's possible to come out the other side and still feel pretty damn feminine.
8
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.4yr
Noooooo my instant femininity buff why does hair length even affect this, gender is a fucking psyop
Part of the issue too is, whenever I suggest this people go "NNNNNOOOOOO BUT YOUR NATURAL HAIR IS SO PWETTY" which yes, it is, but Idk sometimes...
8
lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
why does hair length even affect this, gender is a fucking psyop
I mean, for me in particular, it's partially loss of hair length and partially the fact I went for an aggressive side fade, which is either masc- or dyke-coded, depending how you look at it. but yeah it's bullshit that, like, long hair is feminine and short hair is masculine.
it's also worth noting that as an enby I don't particularly want to be read as a woman, but it's complicated bc, as a transfem enby, I'd absolutely rather be read as a woman than as a man. like if people are gonna misgender me I'd rather it be away from my AGAB, if that makes sense?
NNNNNOOOOOO BUT YOUR NATURAL HAIR IS SO PWETTY
yo literally same, comments since cut + dye have basically been a split between "yo that's fucking awesome" and "noooo your hair was so beautiful and full" – but like, the first option is mostly from fellow queers and the second is mostly from straights, which makes me feel vindicated as hell.
7
Maoo [none/use name] - 2.4yr
It's not a perfect solution but you could get a wig if you get a short cut! Swapping is possible! You can even get a wig made from your own hair.
7
lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
I hate shaving. this is not a request for help/advice, I've tried many different types of razor and many different techniques, it's just a complaint about how bad shaving is.
it's like, facial hair giving you dysphoria? well, you're gonna have to shave it off or pay out the ass for laser or electrolysis! also shaving's gonna leave a bit of stubble, as a treat, so you'll always feel a little man-coded.
I'm currently in month 2 of using a braun IPL 1-2x/week on my torso and face, with minimal thinning to my facial hair but my chest hair significantly thinned and softened. I'm hoping the facial hair is just gonna take a bit longer. I also need to start on my lower half and maybe my arms but shaving down there is such a pain when you're 6'6"/2m tall and not terribly flexible...
my body is too manly for me to ignore the hair but I'm too much of a dyke to want to deal with the hair, why must beauty be pain and take hours out of my life every goddamn week.
20
RedQuestionAsker2 [he/him, she/her] - 2.4yr
My facial hair is super thick, and I can grow a great beard. I have 5 o clock shadow the moment after I shave.
The problem is that I like having facial hair a lot of the time, so I don't want a permanent fix. I just wish I could make it go away completely SOMETIMES
6
lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
oof, that’s somehow even worse; I’m sorry, comrade!
3
RedQuestionAsker2 [he/him, she/her] - 2.4yr
It's all good
I've just gotta learn to hit that perfect androgyny balance
3
lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
I feel that! a friend recently sent me some reels from somebody on instagram who’s so perfectly androgynous that I can’t tell if they’re AFAB or AMAB and it’s incredible, like that’s such goals.
3
good_girl [she/her, they/them] - 2.4yr
Been coming out to my friend group slowly.
Came out to the one friend that I can depend on being sensitive to queer issues first, turns out he's also NB/trans. Tho it seems like I might have been the only one who didn't already know?
Then I came out to my oldest friend and he was way more sensitive to it than I ever imagined, which makes me think that I'm underestimating my friends on this.
After the second friend I've started to feel way more comfortable talking about trans things openly; both to these two friends and to my girlfriend.
On another note, I ended up asking my endo to swap me to estradiol injections. BIG MISTAKE- my estradiol pills cost $30 for 200... 5ml of estradiol cost me 164 usd because IT WASN'T COVERED BY INSURANCE AHHHHH.
The pills would last me about 2 months at 3 pills/day, the injections are gonna last me 6 months at 1 injection every two weeks so it's not terrible but now I have to pray I don't have any bills over $70 in the next 4 days until I get paid.
Fuck.
Also found out one of my cishet friends that had been dating around, has specifically been looking on grindr for trans girls. I really don't know how to feel about this. From another friend, he apparently self-id'd as a chaser. Although this friend is autistic so I'm not entirely sure if he is aware of the full weight of what that means or not.
19
SnowySkyes - 2.4yr
In regards to your estradiol. Check to see if your pharmacy is trying to give you name brand name over generic for injections. My pharmacy was trying to do this because they didn't carry the specific potency (10mg/mL) in the generic. They attempted to give me the name brand and my insurance didn't cover it. I then asked my endo to prescribe half the dose at the 20mg/mL potency and was then able to get the generic very cheap. Dunno if this would be an option, but it's worth exploring.
12
good_girl [she/her, they/them] - 2.4yr
OH that's a great idea. I'll definitely try that for next time, unfortunately I already paid for this script ;-;
13
Wake [she/her, they/them] - 2.4yr
Therapy went really well today. We talked about a bunch of good stuff. But they suggested to me that I come to our next meeting presenting fem.
17
Wake [she/her, they/them] - 2.4yr
My ex-wife is going to be giving me a bunch of her old clothes. So that's kinda exciting. I'm a bit taller than her, but otherwise we are of a similar size. Fingers crossed that most of it fits. If not, I'll donate it to the local LGBTQ closet or simply get off my ass and lose some weight.
17
Ocommie63 [she/her] - 2.4yr
Hiiii, hows everyone doing??? Hopefully you are having/will have a good week!!! 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵
16
Tommasi [she/her, pup/pup's] - 2.4yr
I'm so happy I could scream! Yesterday was my 2 month anniversary for HRT and the first time I took progress pictures to compare with the ones I took the day I started. I know I shouldn't put too much stock into one series of pictures, but it's insane how different I look.
Obviously the changes are due to a lot of different stuff, like getting a more femme hairstyle, better skincare, healthier lifestyle, more skill at make-up and generally taking better care of myself, but it's unbelievably encouraging.
I hated taking those pictures I took 2 months ago because I couldn't shake the feeling I just looked like a guy, but I still did it because I knew I'd want them for later, and I'm so glad I did. These new ones I wanted to immediately send to everyone I knew and post everywhere because I'm so happy with how I look in them. I've been so careful to keep my expectations in check and not expect to see major changes in a really long time, so I'm just over the moon right now!
16
SnowySkyes - 2.4yr
Progress pics are always a fantastic idea imo. You’ll slowly see the progress you make through time. Like, I can look at month to month progress for myself and just slowly see the process of the feminization. It’s a great reminder in the future for when you’re feeling extra dysphoric on some days.
8
Tommasi [she/her, pup/pup's] - 2.4yr
For sure! I'll definitely try to remind myself of this feeling those days dysphoria gets me down.
7
Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her] - 2.4yr
takes gigantic bong rip damn. my favorite masculine characters and ideals were always something that i subconciously understood as unreasonable, cartoonish, and over the top. things that i would never earnestly compare myself to nor should i. this absurd comparison allowed me to unhappily present AMAB because the ability to mock a caricature of masculinity helped deflect from the one of my own i had forced myself to take up
15
BountifulEggnog [it/its, she/her] - 2.4yr
I just got my hair cut, and what I've concluded is short hair feel good, long (er) hair look good. Why does it have to be this way 😔
15
KrupskayaPraxis - 2.4yr
Feel very dysphoric lately, and together with other issues it makes me feel very terrible. But it's getting a bit better
14
Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her] - 2.4yr
gonna take enough testosterone and estrogen for 20 people to become the ultimate gender and ascend to godhood
14
Ecohex [she/her, she/her] - 2.4yr
back home from visiting my partner for the first time and i miss her so much already
14
GunslingerSky [she/her] - 2.4yr
Worked up the confidence to call the doctor's office to try and make an appointment for hrt, but the soonest appointments for either of the two doctors are 4 and 6 months out
14
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.4yr
did you schedule the 4 months out appointment? sometimes earlier ones will open up but if they don't you'll want that one
not to diminish how unbelievably frustrating this is, i am VERY familiar with how painful waiting to be able to talk to a doctor is. but it's important to still be practical, even when dealing with a medical system that seems to hate you
11
GunslingerSky [she/her] - 2.4yr
Yeah ended up scheduling the 4 month one
9
Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
That is ridiculous. Usually though you can find clinics that are not v expensive. A friend of mine is doing HRT out of pocket and it's like 50 bucks for a vial that lasts 2-3 months. Then you can switch over to insurance when the time comes
10
Maoo [none/use name] - 2.4yr
Sorry it's so slow, that's so frustrating. And "worked up the confidence" is way too familiar. It can take so much effort just to try and then they put up roadblocks. I'm sure you can push through even though it's difficult! And with support here!
9
DinosaurThussy [they/them] - 2.3yr
Feeling wistful in a gendery way while watching wlw tiktoks
14
JohannaChittarra - 2.4yr
down with cis
14
ilyenkov [she/her, they/them] - 2.4yr
I'd been putting off any removal of my body hair because I can't really afford any of the good options (basically I have a razor and an electric razor) and like without doing it I could imagine it being better than I knew it would be.
I've finally shaved everything neck down and it is somewhat better than I hoped. I am so much happier with how I look this way, and it feels better. But also, my skin is so pale and my hair so dark I can like still see all my hair follicles sitting there, which is incredibly depressing. I can't make the hair actually disappear. And now, just one day later, I can feel stubble everywhere. The thought of having to do all that shaving multiple times a week is so depressing.
Hopefully HRT will do something here once I've been on it longer
14
queermunist she/her - 2.4yr
Consider an epilator. Not great for face or pubes (too irritating I find), but for legs/arms/pits/chest/stomach it works wonders. Takes way longer for pricklies to show up, on a level similar to waxing. It'll hurt till you get used to it, though.
8
ilyenkov [she/her, they/them] - 2.4yr
I should do that. I haven't cuz I've heard from others it's really only good for legs and you shouldn't use it on the chest and back and stuff. But it works well for you for that?
4
queermunist she/her - 2.3yr
Well there's different types of epilators. The type that's a set of spinning discs can only be used for legs and forearms, but there's another that uses a spinning drum of tweezers (basically) and that works for pits and torso. I use the Conair total body epilator.
3
Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
If you can get a Braun IPL those work absolute WONDERS on body hair. Literally my hair is so thin and soft now and I don't even see follicles. My leg hair used to be prickly at like, idk. 12 hours. Now it basically is completely clear for a week t hen starts growing back just from shaving
6
ilyenkov [she/her, they/them] - 2.4yr
Huh, those do soon sick, but damn that's expensive. I'll have to save towards that
4
Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.3yr
Epilator is painful but good also
4
grym - 2.3yr
Hey i'm looking into this, your comment made me start searching for at-home IPL stuff and i've seen few different ones recommended like the Philips Lumea Prestige or Smoothskin Pure Fit, as well as a Braun Silk Expert Pro 5, etc. There's also tons of different "models" for the Braun which only seem to change what heads are included but the price varies from like 300 to 500$ so that's a bit wild.
What specific model do you have and any particular reason you chose this one? Heard good things about other models. I'm ready to save and buy a very expensive one if it's worth it in the long-term !
2
Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.3yr
I have the Braun ipl 5. I got it on sale for around 350 after tax and it has worked absolute wonders on me. Very much money well spent. My nipple hair is gone, my happy trail is mostly gone (still working on it). I thinkthe biggest thing is that I don't get ingrown hairs on my legs anymore. Ingrowns used to be nightmarish and extremely painful and after weeks and weeks of treatment they are very few and far between (might get 2 or 3 when shaving now).
I will admit I'm now waxing my legs though because the hair got so soft and thin that it takes lkme 2 weeks to really noticeably grow out, and the IPL is giving diminishing returns.
4
Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.3yr
Oh sorry didn't answer your questions.
I picked the Braun 5 (with insurance for 3 years) because of a few reasons:
Based on my research I saw the most evidence that this one would actually do the job. There are a lot of IPL's out there that are cheaper and have a lower power rating that don't do the job. I didn't want to waste my time.
It has the feature where you can just hold down the button and it flashes automatically.
It was on sale for 300 and then 350 with insurance and tax. I do recommend the insurance because I saw people say that this thing can break? Idk I've had no problems at 6 months.
I've heard good things about the lumiq but it was more expensive at the time
3
Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.3yr
Sorry for ANOTHER response here. But if you can return within a month... here's what I would do. Get something like the nood, a bit cheaper but with decent reviews. Try it. You should see some results within a month, if you don't then return it
3
grym - 2.3yr
Thank you for all your answers !!
2
Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her] - 2.3yr
There, you see it. Sticking out of the crowd. Monster Energy, pink can, Ultra Strawberry Dream flavor.
It's the most trans girl energy drink you can imagine. You need one, now. Two, actually
It's been a long day. The caffeine should be a fitting boost to finish it
[ENCYCLOPEDIA: EASY] SUCCESS- Standing before you on this shelf are scores of energy drinks, none of which will have any effect on your hormone levels whatsoever. Even if the can is especially pink
Don't listen to Poindexter, this is the trans femme drink on the shelf, and it's that way for a good reason
Guess I should get one
What about the other flavors? Is guava not trans girl enough for me?
Discard thought
14
rubpoll [she/her] - 2.4yr
Any recommendations for at-home laser hair removal devices?
I get zapped once every couple of months, would like to do some maintenance in between professional zappings.
13
vertexarray [any] - 2.4yr
spent all weekend in recouperation and now that it's monday I'm like damn why doesn't anyone want to hang out
What the fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk I have a test today I definitely did not study for at all
its a miracle if I pass this class
12
SnowySkyes - 2.3yr
I hate colds. They're the worst. Woke up feeling like crap. About 2 days of symptoms behind my wife, so I know this won't be a quick one.
Also, I'm 4 weeks away from my bottom surgery. You can tell I'm excited because my dreams are just constantly filled with dreams of that day. These next 4 weeks are going to draaaaag.
12
WIIHAPPYFEW [any, any] - 2.4yr
Shoutouts to yall for all being extremely good at posting
11
goaway420 [none/use name] - 2.4yr
saw them in the mirror just now, i t's a nice feeling, I hope everyone else is feeling great <3
11
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.4yr
Conversation with the goodreads lady has been stilted and painful which I guess is pretty normal. Why is talking to people so like pulling teeth? Interests too weird I guess.
Anyway I'm about to finish up this Lily Seabrooke novel and then start Unjust Depths, finally.
11
SnowySkyes - 2.4yr
*sigh* Guy I became friends with is well on his way on the fascist pipeline. Had a discussion with him tonight and he's very insistent on "glassing" the US's enemies among other things. When presented with evidence to the contrary on his talking points, he wished to change topics. Considering he knows he's talking to a transgirl, I can only imagine that he's on the pipeline rather than at the final stop. Not sure if I want to bother continuing to agitate or just drop it altogether. :\
10
Wake [she/her, they/them] - 2.3yr
I actually have a fair amount of experience with this. I've talked a few people off the pipeline in the past. I've made a lot of mistakes and lost some friends along the way, but I like to think I'm pretty good at it now. A few of biggest tips I can give are:
Don't push too hard. This isn't a debate, and debate is for dweebs. This is a dialogue between friends. Keep it light, but persistent. You are teaching him to think critically, not what to think.
Be prepared for burnout and pushback. If you push too hard they will shut down. It will turn into a debate, at which point they are no longer receptive to your attempts. If it happens, drop the subject and move on to something light. Give them time to think. This is more about planting seeds than it is about harvesting results.
Learn the Socratic method. It's a powerful tool for this kind of stuff.
Be prepared to land on and argue from softer opinions than what you actually believe. Be prepared to fight dirty. You don't have to be 100% in good faith all the time. The metaphor I use for this is that critical thought is like a building you're constructing with them. you've already climbed the stairs and know what the roof looks like. Even if you really want them to climb them with you, you're going to have to stop on lower floors. And you need to be ok with that. Small steps win the race here.
And above all else, your safety is top priority. If things go south, bail. You don't need to put yourself into danger.
10
jsomae @lemmy.ml - 2.4yr
Keep up the fight! One deradicalized fascist could mean dozens of lives improved.
9
SnowySkyes - 2.4yr
I'm certainly going to try. Just makes me nervous since this guy lives fairly close to me. Never really attempted to pull someone away from the fascist pipeline before, so this'll be a journey for me. Hopefully not a bad one.
10
Sopje - 2.3yr
Safety comes first, protect yourself
7
Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her] - 2.3yr
go to trans subreddit
unironic nato worship
10
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.3yr
Typical reddit, not shocked just disappointed.
6
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.4yr
new unjust depths chapter!
::: spoiler spoiler
the date is so good, shalikova gay af and the way it ended was heartbreaking. the meeting was great, i love erika and moravskyi getting drunk and bonding. the chapter ending is very distressing, given her faction's already established opinions on shmii decolonization efforts. i feel she may not be being entirely honest about the shmii hordes displacing and destroying the eloim homeland!
:::
8
tamagotchicowboy [he/him] - 2.3yr
That voice group meeting was useful, also got a book suggestion from a coworker who moonlights as a voice actor, though it took him some convincing since he thinks sounding feminine in retail makes customers less mad or some silly shit. Naw, they were mad long before they got to the line.
Otherwise not doing so well, this sinus infection is kicking my ass and draining me, I know its related to that never ending dental abscess, it just took until this month to finally get scheduled to be seen by a somewhat affordable dentist, though still ouch. I hope when I finally get seen that's the resolution of it, it doesn't come back to pester.
8
SnowySkyes - 2.4yr
I recently made a friend that I’m getting to know. He’s a very nice guy, but is very clear that his life is being steered solely by toxic masculinity. I genuinely feel bad for him because it seems it’s making his life feel empty regardless of the sheer success he’s enjoyed in life so far. Fortunately it doesn’t seem like he has been scooped up by the likes of Shapiro and the like, so maybe I can help steer him somewhat.
It also made me realize that a lot of my time spent before my egg cracked was influenced by the toxic masculinity that I grew up with. I didn’t realize how much of it adversely affected me all this time and how much I still unconsciously espouse into daily thought. Fortunately most of it is shed now aside from a few things. Hopefully the rest will leave soon.
7
lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
It also made me realize that a lot of my time spent before my egg cracked was influenced by the toxic masculinity that I grew up with.
this is so interesting, and something I've experienced as well, as an enby who very likely is on the autism spectrum. since the only way I knew to perform manhood was to emulate the men around me, and so many of them were toxically masculine and misogynistic, I would act toxically masculine and misogynistic in an effort to fit in as one of them. I'd actually say that unlearning the fake masculinity is part of what helped me come to terms with being cisn't, come to think of it.
6
SnowySkyes - 2.4yr
Starting to shed that masculinity is what helped me along with actually exploring my gender. It became heavily internalized and made it very difficult to shed. Once the pieces started falling is when I slowly started to realize I was trans.
But gods did my upbringing really fuck me up. I still have really bad thoughts that were kinda ingrained into my brain from my upbringing that I struggle to remove to this day. I shan’t repeat them here obviously, but I am very ashamed that they still exist.
5
lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
Once the pieces started falling is when I slowly started to realize I was trans.
this is such a mood. what's funny is I thought I was bisexual and just weird about being a man for awhile, then I read the Gender Dysphoria Bible to try to understand my trans nephew better, and ended up muttering "oh, fuck me" about once or twice a paragraph as the realization that this shit applied to me was slowly dawning on me, and now I'm a non-binary transbian who's realized fae's not really interested in men at all.
But gods did my upbringing really fuck me up. I still have really bad thoughts that were kinda ingrained into my brain from my upbringing that I struggle to remove to this day. I shan’t repeat them here obviously, but I am very ashamed that they still exist.
if it makes you feel any better, you're absolutely not alone in this – it's not uncommon for me to have a profoundly incorrect dogma-addled negative internal reaction to something that's actually totally fine, or even good, and then have to put in effort to redirect my brain to not be a total asshole. it's a process, and I fucking hate it, but it's a process I'm glad to have undertaken rather than staying in the quagmire into which I was born and in which I could easily still be without kind people loving me and giving me space to figure out who I actually am.
3
SnowySkyes - 2.4yr
Hey, I'm just glad we all realized who we are at some point in our lives. It's a moment that none of us will ever forget I'm sure. I remember it mine happened in the middle of a convention in a crowd of like...a lot of people. I'm shocked I didn't get stared at.
It does make me feel better as I just feel like a complete and utter fuck that I have these thoughts cross my consciousness at all. I talk them over with my girlfriend from time to time to help just kinda get it out there so I can confront it directly and properly. It's not easy and it is not a comfortable thing. But you know what? We are fighting them and that's what's important. Even if it's pretty hard to dislodge them from our brains.
SnowySkyes in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
Weekly Trans Megathread for the Week of 3/11 - 3/17
Hang out. Chat. Talk about what's going on. Have fun :3
"This is gender affirming care!" I tell myself right before hitting the "purchase" button to buy a battle axe off the internet
I’m coming out to y’all today as trans femboy. Might still change as I’m still working on my identity development but that’s what feels right atm
NEW GENDER FRIEND!!!!!!! WELCOME!
Thank u
Every fucking time there's an article on trans athletes, cis people just have to display their complete fucking ignorance and will either spread misinformation or act "concerned" (even on this very website) when plenty of research has been done on the topic to conclude that it's a complete fucking non-issue. This discussion should've been moot years ago, but apparently it isn't. It's the one transphobic culture war battle that even so called "allies" keep falling for. Fucking tiresome.
white moderate my beloved
We must continue to hunt the cishets for sport. But they will complain about our unfair advantage in that too
Oh look it's that time.
you can lead a girl to estrogen but you can't make her transition
not with THAT attitude
:forcefem:
got 1 out of 5 so far lets go
So how's the tommy gun treating you
2/5
had more but im back down to 1
ATF take your Sten gun?
sadly no. she took it in the divorce
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKdQ3CIgfDk
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
My last (maybe) laser appointment is this Wednesday! Excitement! 😁
I think I'll also get a veggie sub with avocado that day instead of making lunch.
"Millennials Should Skip the Avocado, Get More Laser Treatments" - latest headline
Just tried to take a photo of myself but got really upset because I hate the way I look
had weed for the first time
WHO IN GODS NAME WOULD BAN SUCH A THING
I said the same thing about tiktok
weed is good. some people i know get REALLY anxious 90% of the time but i have literally never had a bad high
The high is soooo good
I kinda massively slowed down on taking selfies? Idk I've been super stressed over the last 2 weeks honestly. Also my dysphoria is significantly lower and I'm kinda starting to question if I'm even trans? That being said I basically dress fem as much as possible and am on estrogen and my T is pretty suppressed... all things that would reduce my dysphoria so maybe it's working?
yeah I mean dysphoria dropping is a symptom of just being more comfortable in your own body. I had a huge selfie spree too that's leveled off at this point
It's fucking with my head. Before I started questioning my gender, I found all the progressive spaces that were for queer liberation.
Now that I've started to question gender, I've been stumbling across all sorts of queerphobic "communist" spaces: from irl parties, to telegram, discord, and "friends." It really pisses me off, and I get interrogated about "being a liberal."
on a side note: does anybody have any info on how to figure out if your trans or an egg or cis or anything?
yeah it sucks how many ostensibly good spaces are unsafe for queer people. for figuring out your gender I would reccomend just taking it easy. if you like being called a woman, great! if you like being called a man, great! if neither works for you, that's also cool! it's an ongoing process, so don't feel like you have to commit to anything either.
Also here is some more context on one telegram experience in particular. Why are telegram channels like this??
: (CW: bigotry) ::: spoiler spoiler
:::
Russia :yea:
https://turnmeintoagirl.com/index.htm
Inside me, there are two wolves..
The first says, "become the antagonistic dyke that you are. Cut your hair shortish and weirdlike, and dye it blue and pink or something'. The other wolf is my ten years' progress of growing my hair out. It's long enough to go just past my ass now and it's incredible, but the urge to do something funny with it arises when it causes sensory issues, or gets caught under my wife or something.
Really I wanna be able to swap on the fly...
ngl after 3 years of growing my hair out and barely getting it down most of my shoulder blades, i'm jealous of this, but i also relate hard to the wish for more antagonistic dykeness
You might get here after growing your hair for six more years :) there's gotta be a solution that's both long hair-ish and antagonistic dyke-ish...
Wolf cut that reaches down to the ass in the back?
Perhaps.........
I listened to the first voice and I'm mostly happy with it. I definitely lost the instant femininity buff of mid-back-length hair, but also anyone reading my brightly colored hair and shullet as manly isn't worth my cares anyways.
plus it's pretty cool to have the haircut I picked as being fem-yet-dykish vindicated by Kristen Stewart having the same haircut in that new A24 lesbian movie, Love Lies Bleeding (which I'm definitely going to watch soon™).
but definitely do your own thing! sacrificing several years' growth for the sake of a crazy haircut is certainly a big choice; I just wanted to let you know it's possible to come out the other side and still feel pretty damn feminine.
Noooooo my instant femininity buff
why does hair length even affect this, gender is a fucking psyop 
Part of the issue too is, whenever I suggest this people go "NNNNNOOOOOO BUT YOUR NATURAL HAIR IS SO PWETTY" which yes, it is, but Idk sometimes...
I mean, for me in particular, it's partially loss of hair length and partially the fact I went for an aggressive side fade, which is either masc- or dyke-coded, depending how you look at it. but yeah it's bullshit that, like, long hair is feminine and short hair is masculine.
it's also worth noting that as an enby I don't particularly want to be read as a woman, but it's complicated bc, as a transfem enby, I'd absolutely rather be read as a woman than as a man. like if people are gonna misgender me I'd rather it be away from my AGAB, if that makes sense?
yo literally same, comments since cut + dye have basically been a split between "yo that's fucking awesome" and "noooo your hair was so beautiful and full" – but like, the first option is mostly from fellow queers and the second is mostly from straights, which makes me feel vindicated as hell.
It's not a perfect solution but you could get a wig if you get a short cut! Swapping is possible! You can even get a wig made from your own hair.
I hate shaving. this is not a request for help/advice, I've tried many different types of razor and many different techniques, it's just a complaint about how bad shaving is.
it's like, facial hair giving you dysphoria? well, you're gonna have to shave it off or pay out the ass for laser or electrolysis! also shaving's gonna leave a bit of stubble, as a treat, so you'll always feel a little man-coded.
I'm currently in month 2 of using a braun IPL 1-2x/week on my torso and face, with minimal thinning to my facial hair but my chest hair significantly thinned and softened. I'm hoping the facial hair is just gonna take a bit longer. I also need to start on my lower half and maybe my arms but shaving down there is such a pain when you're 6'6"/2m tall and not terribly flexible...
my body is too manly for me to ignore the hair but I'm too much of a dyke to want to deal with the hair, why must beauty be pain and take hours out of my life every goddamn week.
My facial hair is super thick, and I can grow a great beard. I have 5 o clock shadow the moment after I shave.
The problem is that I like having facial hair a lot of the time, so I don't want a permanent fix. I just wish I could make it go away completely SOMETIMES
oof, that’s somehow even worse; I’m sorry, comrade!
It's all good
I've just gotta learn to hit that perfect androgyny balance
I feel that! a friend recently sent me some reels from somebody on instagram who’s so perfectly androgynous that I can’t tell if they’re AFAB or AMAB and it’s incredible, like that’s such goals.
Been coming out to my friend group slowly.
Came out to the one friend that I can depend on being sensitive to queer issues first, turns out he's also NB/trans. Tho it seems like I might have been the only one who didn't already know?
Then I came out to my oldest friend and he was way more sensitive to it than I ever imagined, which makes me think that I'm underestimating my friends on this.
After the second friend I've started to feel way more comfortable talking about trans things openly; both to these two friends and to my girlfriend.
On another note, I ended up asking my endo to swap me to estradiol injections. BIG MISTAKE- my estradiol pills cost $30 for 200... 5ml of estradiol cost me 164 usd because IT WASN'T COVERED BY INSURANCE AHHHHH.
The pills would last me about 2 months at 3 pills/day, the injections are gonna last me 6 months at 1 injection every two weeks so it's not terrible but now I have to pray I don't have any bills over $70 in the next 4 days until I get paid.
Fuck.
Also found out one of my cishet friends that had been dating around, has specifically been looking on grindr for trans girls. I really don't know how to feel about this. From another friend, he apparently self-id'd as a chaser. Although this friend is autistic so I'm not entirely sure if he is aware of the full weight of what that means or not.
In regards to your estradiol. Check to see if your pharmacy is trying to give you name brand name over generic for injections. My pharmacy was trying to do this because they didn't carry the specific potency (10mg/mL) in the generic. They attempted to give me the name brand and my insurance didn't cover it. I then asked my endo to prescribe half the dose at the 20mg/mL potency and was then able to get the generic very cheap. Dunno if this would be an option, but it's worth exploring.
OH that's a great idea. I'll definitely try that for next time, unfortunately I already paid for this script ;-;
Therapy went really well today. We talked about a bunch of good stuff. But they suggested to me that I come to our next meeting presenting fem.
My ex-wife is going to be giving me a bunch of her old clothes. So that's kinda exciting. I'm a bit taller than her, but otherwise we are of a similar size. Fingers crossed that most of it fits. If not, I'll donate it to the local LGBTQ closet or simply get off my ass and lose some weight.
Hiiii, hows everyone doing??? Hopefully you are having/will have a good week!!! 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵
I'm so happy I could scream! Yesterday was my 2 month anniversary for HRT and the first time I took progress pictures to compare with the ones I took the day I started. I know I shouldn't put too much stock into one series of pictures, but it's insane how different I look.
Obviously the changes are due to a lot of different stuff, like getting a more femme hairstyle, better skincare, healthier lifestyle, more skill at make-up and generally taking better care of myself, but it's unbelievably encouraging.
I hated taking those pictures I took 2 months ago because I couldn't shake the feeling I just looked like a guy, but I still did it because I knew I'd want them for later, and I'm so glad I did. These new ones I wanted to immediately send to everyone I knew and post everywhere because I'm so happy with how I look in them. I've been so careful to keep my expectations in check and not expect to see major changes in a really long time, so I'm just over the moon right now!
Progress pics are always a fantastic idea imo. You’ll slowly see the progress you make through time. Like, I can look at month to month progress for myself and just slowly see the process of the feminization. It’s a great reminder in the future for when you’re feeling extra dysphoric on some days.
For sure! I'll definitely try to remind myself of this feeling those days dysphoria gets me down.
takes gigantic bong rip damn. my favorite masculine characters and ideals were always something that i subconciously understood as unreasonable, cartoonish, and over the top. things that i would never earnestly compare myself to nor should i. this absurd comparison allowed me to unhappily present AMAB because the ability to mock a caricature of masculinity helped deflect from the one of my own i had forced myself to take up
I just got my hair cut, and what I've concluded is short hair feel good, long (er) hair look good. Why does it have to be this way 😔
Feel very dysphoric lately, and together with other issues it makes me feel very terrible. But it's getting a bit better
gonna take enough testosterone and estrogen for 20 people to become the ultimate gender and ascend to godhood
back home from visiting my partner for the first time and i miss her so much already
Worked up the confidence to call the doctor's office to try and make an appointment for hrt, but the soonest appointments for either of the two doctors are 4 and 6 months out
did you schedule the 4 months out appointment? sometimes earlier ones will open up but if they don't you'll want that one
not to diminish how unbelievably frustrating this is, i am VERY familiar with how painful waiting to be able to talk to a doctor is. but it's important to still be practical, even when dealing with a medical system that seems to hate you
Yeah ended up scheduling the 4 month one
That is ridiculous. Usually though you can find clinics that are not v expensive. A friend of mine is doing HRT out of pocket and it's like 50 bucks for a vial that lasts 2-3 months. Then you can switch over to insurance when the time comes
Sorry it's so slow, that's so frustrating. And "worked up the confidence" is way too familiar. It can take so much effort just to try and then they put up roadblocks. I'm sure you can push through even though it's difficult! And with support here!
Feeling wistful in a gendery way while watching wlw tiktoks
down with cis
I'd been putting off any removal of my body hair because I can't really afford any of the good options (basically I have a razor and an electric razor) and like without doing it I could imagine it being better than I knew it would be.
I've finally shaved everything neck down and it is somewhat better than I hoped. I am so much happier with how I look this way, and it feels better. But also, my skin is so pale and my hair so dark I can like still see all my hair follicles sitting there, which is incredibly depressing. I can't make the hair actually disappear. And now, just one day later, I can feel stubble everywhere. The thought of having to do all that shaving multiple times a week is so depressing.
Hopefully HRT will do something here once I've been on it longer
Consider an epilator. Not great for face or pubes (too irritating I find), but for legs/arms/pits/chest/stomach it works wonders. Takes way longer for pricklies to show up, on a level similar to waxing. It'll hurt till you get used to it, though.
I should do that. I haven't cuz I've heard from others it's really only good for legs and you shouldn't use it on the chest and back and stuff. But it works well for you for that?
Well there's different types of epilators. The type that's a set of spinning discs can only be used for legs and forearms, but there's another that uses a spinning drum of tweezers (basically) and that works for pits and torso. I use the Conair total body epilator.
If you can get a Braun IPL those work absolute WONDERS on body hair. Literally my hair is so thin and soft now and I don't even see follicles. My leg hair used to be prickly at like, idk. 12 hours. Now it basically is completely clear for a week t hen starts growing back just from shaving
Huh, those do soon sick, but damn that's expensive. I'll have to save towards that
Epilator is painful but good also
Hey i'm looking into this, your comment made me start searching for at-home IPL stuff and i've seen few different ones recommended like the Philips Lumea Prestige or Smoothskin Pure Fit, as well as a Braun Silk Expert Pro 5, etc. There's also tons of different "models" for the Braun which only seem to change what heads are included but the price varies from like 300 to 500$ so that's a bit wild.
What specific model do you have and any particular reason you chose this one? Heard good things about other models. I'm ready to save and buy a very expensive one if it's worth it in the long-term !
I have the Braun ipl 5. I got it on sale for around 350 after tax and it has worked absolute wonders on me. Very much money well spent. My nipple hair is gone, my happy trail is mostly gone (still working on it). I thinkthe biggest thing is that I don't get ingrown hairs on my legs anymore. Ingrowns used to be nightmarish and extremely painful and after weeks and weeks of treatment they are very few and far between (might get 2 or 3 when shaving now).
I will admit I'm now waxing my legs though because the hair got so soft and thin that it takes lkme 2 weeks to really noticeably grow out, and the IPL is giving diminishing returns.
Oh sorry didn't answer your questions.
I picked the Braun 5 (with insurance for 3 years) because of a few reasons:
Based on my research I saw the most evidence that this one would actually do the job. There are a lot of IPL's out there that are cheaper and have a lower power rating that don't do the job. I didn't want to waste my time.
It has the feature where you can just hold down the button and it flashes automatically.
It was on sale for 300 and then 350 with insurance and tax. I do recommend the insurance because I saw people say that this thing can break? Idk I've had no problems at 6 months.
I've heard good things about the lumiq but it was more expensive at the time
Sorry for ANOTHER response here. But if you can return within a month... here's what I would do. Get something like the nood, a bit cheaper but with decent reviews. Try it. You should see some results within a month, if you don't then return it
Thank you for all your answers !!
Any recommendations for at-home laser hair removal devices?
I get zapped once every couple of months, would like to do some maintenance in between professional zappings.
spent all weekend in recouperation and now that it's monday I'm like damn why doesn't anyone want to hang out
What the fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk I have a test today I definitely did not study for at all
its a miracle if I pass this class
I hate colds. They're the worst. Woke up feeling like crap. About 2 days of symptoms behind my wife, so I know this won't be a quick one.
Also, I'm 4 weeks away from my bottom surgery. You can tell I'm excited because my dreams are just constantly filled with dreams of that day. These next 4 weeks are going to draaaaag.
saw them in the mirror just now, i t's a nice feeling, I hope everyone else is feeling great <3
Conversation with the goodreads lady has been stilted and painful which I guess is pretty normal. Why is talking to people so like pulling teeth? Interests too weird I guess.
Anyway I'm about to finish up this Lily Seabrooke novel and then start Unjust Depths, finally.
*sigh* Guy I became friends with is well on his way on the fascist pipeline. Had a discussion with him tonight and he's very insistent on "glassing" the US's enemies among other things. When presented with evidence to the contrary on his talking points, he wished to change topics. Considering he knows he's talking to a transgirl, I can only imagine that he's on the pipeline rather than at the final stop. Not sure if I want to bother continuing to agitate or just drop it altogether. :\
I actually have a fair amount of experience with this. I've talked a few people off the pipeline in the past. I've made a lot of mistakes and lost some friends along the way, but I like to think I'm pretty good at it now. A few of biggest tips I can give are:
Don't push too hard. This isn't a debate, and debate is for dweebs. This is a dialogue between friends. Keep it light, but persistent. You are teaching him to think critically, not what to think.
Be prepared for burnout and pushback. If you push too hard they will shut down. It will turn into a debate, at which point they are no longer receptive to your attempts. If it happens, drop the subject and move on to something light. Give them time to think. This is more about planting seeds than it is about harvesting results.
Learn the Socratic method. It's a powerful tool for this kind of stuff.
Be prepared to land on and argue from softer opinions than what you actually believe. Be prepared to fight dirty. You don't have to be 100% in good faith all the time. The metaphor I use for this is that critical thought is like a building you're constructing with them. you've already climbed the stairs and know what the roof looks like. Even if you really want them to climb them with you, you're going to have to stop on lower floors. And you need to be ok with that. Small steps win the race here.
And above all else, your safety is top priority. If things go south, bail. You don't need to put yourself into danger.
Keep up the fight! One deradicalized fascist could mean dozens of lives improved.
I'm certainly going to try. Just makes me nervous since this guy lives fairly close to me. Never really attempted to pull someone away from the fascist pipeline before, so this'll be a journey for me. Hopefully not a bad one.
Safety comes first, protect yourself
Typical reddit, not shocked just disappointed.
new unjust depths chapter! ::: spoiler spoiler the date is so good, shalikova gay af and the way it ended was heartbreaking. the meeting was great, i love erika and moravskyi getting drunk and bonding. the chapter ending is very distressing, given her faction's already established opinions on shmii decolonization efforts. i feel she may not be being entirely honest about the shmii hordes displacing and destroying the eloim homeland! :::
That voice group meeting was useful, also got a book suggestion from a coworker who moonlights as a voice actor, though it took him some convincing since he thinks sounding feminine in retail makes customers less mad or some silly shit. Naw, they were mad long before they got to the line.
Otherwise not doing so well, this sinus infection is kicking my ass and draining me, I know its related to that never ending dental abscess, it just took until this month to finally get scheduled to be seen by a somewhat affordable dentist, though still ouch. I hope when I finally get seen that's the resolution of it, it doesn't come back to pester.
I recently made a friend that I’m getting to know. He’s a very nice guy, but is very clear that his life is being steered solely by toxic masculinity. I genuinely feel bad for him because it seems it’s making his life feel empty regardless of the sheer success he’s enjoyed in life so far. Fortunately it doesn’t seem like he has been scooped up by the likes of Shapiro and the like, so maybe I can help steer him somewhat.
It also made me realize that a lot of my time spent before my egg cracked was influenced by the toxic masculinity that I grew up with. I didn’t realize how much of it adversely affected me all this time and how much I still unconsciously espouse into daily thought. Fortunately most of it is shed now aside from a few things. Hopefully the rest will leave soon.
this is so interesting, and something I've experienced as well, as an enby who very likely is on the autism spectrum. since the only way I knew to perform manhood was to emulate the men around me, and so many of them were toxically masculine and misogynistic, I would act toxically masculine and misogynistic in an effort to fit in as one of them. I'd actually say that unlearning the fake masculinity is part of what helped me come to terms with being cisn't, come to think of it.
Starting to shed that masculinity is what helped me along with actually exploring my gender. It became heavily internalized and made it very difficult to shed. Once the pieces started falling is when I slowly started to realize I was trans.
But gods did my upbringing really fuck me up. I still have really bad thoughts that were kinda ingrained into my brain from my upbringing that I struggle to remove to this day. I shan’t repeat them here obviously, but I am very ashamed that they still exist.
this is such a mood. what's funny is I thought I was bisexual and just weird about being a man for awhile, then I read the Gender Dysphoria Bible to try to understand my trans nephew better, and ended up muttering "oh, fuck me" about once or twice a paragraph as the realization that this shit applied to me was slowly dawning on me, and now I'm a non-binary transbian who's realized fae's not really interested in men at all.
if it makes you feel any better, you're absolutely not alone in this – it's not uncommon for me to have a profoundly incorrect dogma-addled negative internal reaction to something that's actually totally fine, or even good, and then have to put in effort to redirect my brain to not be a total asshole. it's a process, and I fucking hate it, but it's a process I'm glad to have undertaken rather than staying in the quagmire into which I was born and in which I could easily still be without kind people loving me and giving me space to figure out who I actually am.
Hey, I'm just glad we all realized who we are at some point in our lives. It's a moment that none of us will ever forget I'm sure. I remember it mine happened in the middle of a convention in a crowd of like...a lot of people. I'm shocked I didn't get stared at.
It does make me feel better as I just feel like a complete and utter fuck that I have these thoughts cross my consciousness at all. I talk them over with my girlfriend from time to time to help just kinda get it out there so I can confront it directly and properly. It's not easy and it is not a comfortable thing. But you know what? We are fighting them and that's what's important. Even if it's pretty hard to dislodge them from our brains.
inhales
UNJUST DEPTHS