Lately, I’ve been realizing I’m really fucking unfunny, and I genuinely think that quality is important when building any type of relationship with someone, friendship or otherwise. I know people always say that there are no “rules” but I genuinely believe they don’t understand how neurodivergent people view rules, but it seems that there is one rule guiding everything. Because a shit ton of anything in life comes down to verbal delivery. I can speak fine, but the tone of my voice has been the source for a shit ton of trauma.
the_itsb [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
the tone of my voice has been the source for a shit ton of trauma
ME TOO
I don't know that there is a single person in my life, including the person I married and also the person I birthed, that doesn't have a hard time understanding / consistently misunderstands my tone.
Literally every single person in my life
13
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.4yr
The literal tone police coming at us, hate to see it.
9
stigsbandit34z - 2.4yr
Oh my god thank you so much for this validation
I’ve tried to explain to people that I’ve lost relationships/opportunities for my tone and repeatedly been told that it’s “just not a good fit”
My sister who works with kids on the spectrum that tone is something that you must change in autistic people. That, and filtering yourself. Filter in a “now that was a good sentence, but did we need THAT many words? :) (was treated like this multiple times irl this week)
Maybe it’s just an extremely soulless truth, but I don’t understand why we don’t acknowledge the pain that comes with it. Feels like I don’t exist
7
the_itsb [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
this comment hits me on so many levels, this is my entire life
never a good fit, always too many words, always the wrong tone
I feel you 💔
4
stigsbandit34z - 2.4yr
lol put that way, it’s kinda incredible how people can call themselves progressive while seeing something like this as authoritarian and violating
Example though- actually had a childhood friend who was actually based as all hell in retrospect, but she was always quick to point out how not abridging the rights of others was a key feature of free speech, contradictions in what we were being taught about the government and usually to the tune of “awwww she’s so cute and sooooo smart!”
No idea how she slipped through the cracks, but it’s that behavior my sister works to destroy. She would’ve preferred a “Now do we have enough evidence for that? Maybe we should get back on topic” and the topic is learning about how thanksgiving was the pilgrims and native Americans living happily ever after
4
EllenKelly [comrade/them] - 2.4yr
I was bullied in school for having a monotone voice, it's been over a decade and i'm not really over it, I hate my voice
but my deadpan delivery comes in handy pretty regularly tbh, I'm funny as
5
the_itsb [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
You're totally deadpan, I sound like I'm wildly ranting when I'm just trying to tell someone about my day — if we could combine our two voices, we would have the societal ideal 😂
we should have a comedy show, in which you say the most insane shit in your deadpan voice and I say the most boring drivel in my screaming rant
4
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.4yr
I know people always say that there are no “rules”
Kill whoever says this
Fucking ridiculous notion.
9
stigsbandit34z - 2.4yr
So there are pretty established rules then?
If there are, it seems like there should be a field to study that. Because it seems a lot of those “unwritten” rules are pretty oppressive.
Yeah yeah super autistic sentence, whatever. But neurotypical vs neurodivergent seems pretty fucking reductionist from that POV. Almost like neurotypicals “gatekeep” social order from that POV. Similar to the patriarchy, it seems extremely harmful to everybody
6
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.4yr
Not "established" beyond you running the risk of being shamed out of social groups or whatever if you break one. No, they're deliberately unwritten, impossible to understand and purposefully inconsistent for the express purpose of fucking with us. There are rules, and the only way to tell you've really broken one is if you feel painfully embarrassed or someone doesn't talk to you, or whatever.
Nobody studies them because neurotypicals just GET IT, which is stellar for them.
Almost like neurotypicals “gatekeep” social order
Yes.
9
stigsbandit34z - 2.4yr
Well Godamn. You kinda just stressed the importance of disability rights as a part of intersectionality huh
8
ashinadash [she/her] - 2.4yr
Wow I did do that, and all I was doing was posting while being really bitter and angry! Good stuff, intersectionality HAS to include disability rights and neurodiverse people.
9
stigsbandit34z - 2.4yr
I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s how most progress is made :) I think I might have found a calling, I did just rejected from a job for no other reason than my personality
This is also why affirmative action is so fucking important because I’m speaking as a pasty ass mayo. Forget about the neurodiverse aspect of it all, think about it if you’re anything other than white or come from a different culture
6
Yurt_Owl - 2.4yr
This is why I rely largely on dry deadpan humour. Advantage being its a very popular type in the UK.
5
NewLeaf - 2.4yr
One thing I'm running into is that I'm 35 and humor has changed. I dont mean that we can't say G*mar words or be rude, I just mean that the internet dictates what's funny now, and creativity in jokes is not working for me anymore. Fads in humor (and really everything) come and go so quick, it's bonkers!
I guess maybe my references are too old and my jokes are too esoteric
5
Thordros [he/him, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
The trick is to have had kids a decade ago, so they can feed you all the fresh memes*.
* LATEST FAD
5
Thordros [he/him, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
(it doesn't work, by the way)
3
un_mask_me [any] - 2.4yr
I've actually found success in quoting or repeating other people's jokes. I think I just mimic others from various places like streamers, YT personalities, and movies/tv. Also that's a huge part of my mask...so idk if that's something positive or negative at this point, but I have been told I'm funny when I'm not talking about serious politics or taboo stuff. It's hard not to look around and just laugh at the absurdity of our existence some times, which gives a weirdly positive perspective compared to many NT people I meet.
stigsbandit34z in neurodiverse
Hmm comedy
Lately, I’ve been realizing I’m really fucking unfunny, and I genuinely think that quality is important when building any type of relationship with someone, friendship or otherwise. I know people always say that there are no “rules” but I genuinely believe they don’t understand how neurodivergent people view rules, but it seems that there is one rule guiding everything. Because a shit ton of anything in life comes down to verbal delivery. I can speak fine, but the tone of my voice has been the source for a shit ton of trauma.
ME TOO
I don't know that there is a single person in my life, including the person I married and also the person I birthed, that doesn't have a hard time understanding / consistently misunderstands my tone.
Literally every single person in my life
The literal tone police coming at us, hate to see it.
Oh my god thank you so much for this validation
I’ve tried to explain to people that I’ve lost relationships/opportunities for my tone and repeatedly been told that it’s “just not a good fit”
My sister who works with kids on the spectrum that tone is something that you must change in autistic people. That, and filtering yourself. Filter in a “now that was a good sentence, but did we need THAT many words? :) (was treated like this multiple times irl this week)
Maybe it’s just an extremely soulless truth, but I don’t understand why we don’t acknowledge the pain that comes with it. Feels like I don’t exist
this comment hits me on so many levels, this is my entire life
never a good fit, always too many words, always the wrong tone
I feel you 💔
lol put that way, it’s kinda incredible how people can call themselves progressive while seeing something like this as authoritarian and violating
Example though- actually had a childhood friend who was actually based as all hell in retrospect, but she was always quick to point out how not abridging the rights of others was a key feature of free speech, contradictions in what we were being taught about the government and usually to the tune of “awwww she’s so cute and sooooo smart!”
No idea how she slipped through the cracks, but it’s that behavior my sister works to destroy. She would’ve preferred a “Now do we have enough evidence for that? Maybe we should get back on topic” and the topic is learning about how thanksgiving was the pilgrims and native Americans living happily ever after
I was bullied in school for having a monotone voice, it's been over a decade and i'm not really over it, I hate my voice
but my deadpan delivery comes in handy pretty regularly tbh, I'm funny as
You're totally deadpan, I sound like I'm wildly ranting when I'm just trying to tell someone about my day — if we could combine our two voices, we would have the societal ideal 😂
we should have a comedy show, in which you say the most insane shit in your deadpan voice and I say the most boring drivel in my screaming rant
Kill whoever says this
Fucking ridiculous notion.
So there are pretty established rules then?
If there are, it seems like there should be a field to study that. Because it seems a lot of those “unwritten” rules are pretty oppressive.
Yeah yeah super autistic sentence, whatever. But neurotypical vs neurodivergent seems pretty fucking reductionist from that POV. Almost like neurotypicals “gatekeep” social order from that POV. Similar to the patriarchy, it seems extremely harmful to everybody
Not "established" beyond you running the risk of being shamed out of social groups or whatever if you break one. No, they're deliberately unwritten, impossible to understand and purposefully inconsistent for the express purpose of fucking with us. There are rules, and the only way to tell you've really broken one is if you feel painfully embarrassed or someone doesn't talk to you, or whatever.
Nobody studies them because neurotypicals just GET IT, which is stellar for them.
Yes.
Well Godamn. You kinda just stressed the importance of disability rights as a part of intersectionality huh
Wow I did do that, and all I was doing was posting while being really bitter and angry! Good stuff, intersectionality HAS to include disability rights and neurodiverse people.
I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s how most progress is made :) I think I might have found a calling, I did just rejected from a job for no other reason than my personality
This is also why affirmative action is so fucking important because I’m speaking as a pasty ass mayo. Forget about the neurodiverse aspect of it all, think about it if you’re anything other than white or come from a different culture
This is why I rely largely on dry deadpan humour. Advantage being its a very popular type in the UK.
One thing I'm running into is that I'm 35 and humor has changed. I dont mean that we can't say G*mar words or be rude, I just mean that the internet dictates what's funny now, and creativity in jokes is not working for me anymore. Fads in humor (and really everything) come and go so quick, it's bonkers!
I guess maybe my references are too old and my jokes are too esoteric
The trick is to have had kids a decade ago, so they can feed you all the fresh memes*.
(it doesn't work, by the way)
I've actually found success in quoting or repeating other people's jokes. I think I just mimic others from various places like streamers, YT personalities, and movies/tv. Also that's a huge part of my mask...so idk if that's something positive or negative at this point, but I have been told I'm funny when I'm not talking about serious politics or taboo stuff. It's hard not to look around and just laugh at the absurdity of our existence some times, which gives a weirdly positive perspective compared to many NT people I meet.