Hang out. Chat. Talk about what's going on. Have fun :3
Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
Ok so either I'm having a manic episode or the brain fog I've lived with my entire life is kinda lifting about 3 months into HRT? Honestly I feel like I can actually engage with my work and not barely tread water, and I have actual confidence? I'm not even out at work. It's kinda something I never thought would happen but it seems to be happening??!?
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JohannaChittarra - 2.4yr
Many such cases!
15
sharedburdens [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
Yo I'm like 2 months in as well and I've been more productive and confident than I've felt in years, I'm not even out at work either. I guess I was just depressed.
14
FemboyStalin [she/her,any] - 2.4yr
When I first started transitioning that exact feeling was the number one benefit I told people about. Like the engines running on new oil and it's running so smooth now
12
Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
I've heard trans people talk about it before bit tbh I also was very much in the thought process of "This will not just fix your life or be a magic drug. It will just make me grow boobs basically" but like I gotta say it's just way better than I ever could have expected
11
Raebxeh - 2.4yr
This will not just fix your life or be a magic drug
That’s what I’ve been telling myself for a while now. I’ve been avoiding estrogen because of constraints in my life. Are you saying this isn’t the whole picture?
8
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.4yr
estrogen isn't for everyone but personally it's been a lifesaver. i feel unbelievably better about everything
9
Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
What I'm saying is that, I had heard that estrogen was like life changing and changed many different parts of your life. But from other people, I heard it just made them grow boobs basically. I aired on the side of caution and just expected it to basically make me grow boobs and stuff.
Frankly I've been very pleasantly suprised. It's really life changing for me. Like I can exist in society. I can literally focus at work which I never expected to happen. I'm not even out there yet. I feel like where in the past I would jsut become depressed and anxious and really miserable about so many things I'm just... not. Like I feel good. It's really wild. I've never felt this way
7
ilyenkov [she/her, they/them] - 2.4yr
I wouldn't say it's fixed my life cuz I got all kinds of problems. But it is kinda magic and I feel mentally sharper and more in touch with my emotions and I've not been on it long
6
RION [she/her] - 2.4yr
incredibly envious/happy for you
9
Tommasi [she/her, pup/pup's] - 2.4yr
I'm getting my face lasered tomorrow
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Cromalin [she/her] - 2.4yr
congrats! it hurts, but it's a very short pain and the results are super good in my experience. they take time though, you won't notice much of anything after the first session
21
Tommasi [she/her, pup/pup's] - 2.4yr
Thanks! I really hope I have good results, but the nurse did warn me it could go either way with my hair color. I'm a redhead, but more brown-ish, auburn red, so it's apparently hard to say if my hairs have enough of the right type of melanin for the laser to be effective or not.
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Cromalin [she/her] - 2.4yr
i wish you the best!
16
khizuo [ze/zir] - 2.4yr
So excited for you!
11
Wake [she/her, they/them] - 2.4yr
I'm coming to the realization that I have no idea how to dress myself.
25
Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
Yeah its definitely a skill, but it's such a fun process. It's all about figuring out what fits on your body. Being AMAB I am quite limited honestly. Idk what you look like honestly but like, flared jeans do a lot... imo. Also thrift stores are your friend
19
Raebxeh - 2.4yr
Tell me more about flared jeans
5
Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
Idk why but for me, they look so fem. Nothing really matches up, especially ones that are very tight around the thighs and quite loose around the ankles. I love them. Also make sure they're high waisted. (High waisted jeans accentuate the hips that don't exist on me lol)
6
Raebxeh - 2.4yr
Hmmmmm I may have to look into it
5
Wake [she/her, they/them] - 2.4yr
Yeah I don't have curves so I'll have to give high waisted flared jeans a try. My body shape is about as rectangular as it gets.
3
Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
I think what it does is basically just adds curviness to your body. If you're in the US they sell some at target that are p good. And yeah, idk about you but I have the inverted triangle body shape so there's a lot of like, trying to hide that in my clothing. I use wraps, shawls, pashminas to cover my shoulders and stuff so as to mask the shape of my body
3
kristina [she/her] - 2.4yr
Skill issue, just wear a dress and then everyone thinks you're fancy for doing no effort
18
heartheartbreak [fae/faer] - 2.4yr
Most people don't!
12
Wake [she/her, they/them] - 2.4yr
I've dressed in blue jeans and band tee shirts for decades. Hahaha so outside of that, I'm lost. But I'm learning!
4
Saoirse [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
Protip: only wear black, everything will always match.
12
Wheaties [she/her] - 2.4yr
i like layering, seeing what shirts go well with a given jacket. good weather for it, if your in the northern hemisphere
9
EndOfHerstory [she/her] - 2.4yr
Hung out with one of my partners tonight. Found out they've been exploring some gender stuff a bit but insist "I don't have dysphoria so I'm not trans." Which, not how that works, but fair, you don't have to be trans to play with gender. Then I start thinking back through our relationship and I'm like "oh, this is all textbook trans shit... How did I not realize this earlier?!"
And now I'm just like, I guess I gotta pretend I don't know what's going on here for however long while they figure stuff out when all I wanna do is laugh maniacally and be like "WELCOME TO THE CLUB"
Of course I would never do that. But like, come on.
25
SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them] - 2.4yr
My usual for these threads
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RION [she/her] - 2.4yr
Thank u king
12
Ocommie63 [she/her] - 2.4yr
🫡🫡🫡🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵🫡🫡🫡
11
KittyBobo [he/him, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
The past couple of days it's felt like my brain was in a pinball machine, rapidly bouncing between "I want nothing more than to unalive myself right now" and "wow I haven't felt this good in a while".
IDK if anyone is doom scrolling Following the Nex Benedict case as closely as I am, but earlier today, the preliminary police autopsy allegedly found that Nex's death was not caused by the head trauma they received the day prior, during the incident where they were beaten.
Now I'm not a medical professional, so I could be really off base here, but.... That sounds like a load of shit to me. What else could it have been?
22
TheSpectreOfGay [hy/hym, she/her] - 2.4yr
i started playing final fantasy 14, and i wanted to add a mod so my character would have top surgery scars. but i couldn't find any mods for editting the vanilla body texture to have that, so i basically had to download 2 gb worth of mods just for top surgery scars.
but i mean it worked so i guess it's fine
21
JohannaChittarra - 2.4yr
Worth it, imho
16
Ocommie63 [she/her] - 2.4yr
Hiii, everyone how are you all doing. Hopefully well!!! 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵
20
anothertranscomrade [they/them] - 2.4yr
I'm switching to weekly injections. Please send help.
18
Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
From what?
15
anothertranscomrade [they/them] - 2.4yr
Biweekly. I've been doing it for almost a year, but it feels like my body spins the roulette wheel every time. Sometimes I'm so nervous my hands shake. Sometimes it feels like the needle (21 gauge) doesn't want to go in, even though I feel like I'm applying the same amount of force and coming straight down. Sometimes the estradiol will seep out of the injection site after leaving the needle in for a few seconds after I inject and I slowly remove the needle. Sometimes it's absolutely fine and I feel amazing afterwards.
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Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
Oh wow yeah biweekly is not a lot. That's what my doctor prescribed bur I b just skipped to doing once every 5 days and it's been perfect.
6
JohannaChittarra - 2.4yr
Took me an hour and a half to muster the courage to do my first injection. Now I look forward to it when it comes up.
14
Kuori [she/her, pup/pup's] - 2.4yr
injections aren't bad! i had a panic attack doing my first one but after that it's been fine
don't freak out if you bleed like a stuck pig btw, just make a reminder not to stab that area again
i recommend looking up YouTube videos on the injection BUT ALSO the drawing up process if you haven't already. there's a specific technique to getting the needle into the bottle without shooting chunks of rubber into it
12
Saoirse [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
You get used to them. My top tip, tap around the area you're injecting for a spot with fewer nerve endings. You'll feel it less, or if you're lucky, not at all.
10
anothertranscomrade [they/them] - 2.4yr
I'll try this for my next one, thank you
9
DerEwigeAtheist [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
My hormone-doctor meeting was delayed till the middle of march. Very unhappy that this is the case, but happy that I have such clear feelings about it.
I have talked with a local transwoman about hormones and she recommended hormone patches(need to be exchanged every 3.5 days). She said that they go directly into the bloodstream, as opposed to pills, and are less of a bother than injections. They are also paid by insurance here(injections are not)
I never see them talked about online, are they uncommon in the anglophone world?
My mother has been proposing female names for me, now that I am out to her. It's appreciated, I am still hesitant to commit to one.
17
Cromalin [she/her] - 2.4yr
doctors here generally want to prescribe pills and be done with it. i think it's usually possible to get patches but you need to know and ask
15
Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
Injections aren't covered?! Kinda crazy imo. That's like, THE way to take hormones imo. I've heard good things about patches
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SILLY BEAN - 2.4yr
in germamy injections dont even exist. The only doable way to get them is the gray market.
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Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
What the hell??? I wonder why. To me they are so easy and consistent.
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SILLY BEAN - 2.4yr
couldn't find any reason.
the prefered way here is gel or pills.
gel is pretty great from what i've heard. Pills are kinda ugh. I have to take pills though because of a skin condition.
9
AutomatedPossum [she/her] - 2.4yr
I wonder why.
There was just one company that offered them and they went bankrupt. Because trans women are such a small market and estradiole is mostly produced for menopausal cis women who do fine with gels and do not need the high monotherapy doses that benefit the most from injections, nobody has bothered going through the approval process for a new injectable product.
So much for "transgender ideology is a big pharma conspiracy".
8
DerEwigeAtheist [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
I am hearing very different stuff on injections, some people hate them and find them bothersome, and often I hear the opposite.
I guess it is personal preference and comfort with needles?
7
Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them] - 2.4yr
Yeah I mean I don't like the needles part. But I also did not want T blockers. I just wanted to do monotherapy and injections are the best for that as far as I understand. That being said also injections really don't hurt or anything, it's just a little weird stabbing yourself with a pointy object
9
AutomatedPossum [she/her] - 2.4yr
They do exist if you find a pharmacy that custom makes them for you. Let's not talk about the price, though. I hear that they're easier available in Hamburg because a trans celebrity there has them produced in bulk so that they're more affordable. I wonder if regional crowdfunders would be a possibility, it's really about scale with this stuff.
6
AutomatedPossum [she/her] - 2.4yr
You don't have to commit to a name right away, it's ok to try them out. I ended up sticking with my first pick because it just felt lived-in and authentic after half a year or so, but i know a lot of people who've switched things around a bit.
6
SnowySkyes - 2.4yr
I got a lot of new clothes come in today. Put it on and I think it's a great look, but I'm not so confident in my body shape as of yet. I'll just need to get over it at some point.
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RION [she/her] - 2.4yr
Thinking about how my voice training would/will go. My current voice varies so much based on situation, comfort, even topic and I do funny voices/impressions on the regular. I guess maybe that should make it easier/more familiar? But it still seems so daunting and impossible to arrive at something I'd consider natural and fitting for me
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SnowySkyes - 2.4yr
Most voices vary depending on the situation. So that's a pretty normal thing altogether. And as you slowly train your voice, it'll move the needle slowly but surely. Your voice will modulate from a new neutral every time you move that needle. As for something that sounds natural to you, that may be a mental block that's a smidgen difficult to overcome. I voice trained last year and sit on a voice that's apparently indistinguishable from any other woman's. But in my head, I still have remnants of the old me hanging around and it causes me a neurosis of sorts. That's coming off a nice compliment I got last night saying my voice sounds cis and that it's smoother than most ciswomen this person has seen. idk
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RION [she/her] - 2.4yr
I know most voices vary, but I feel like mine varies a freakish amount to where I feel like a different person is talking at times
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SnowySkyes - 2.4yr
I used to feel like that in the past, so I understand you. I would have a wildly different voice depending on the emotion that was dominant. It kinda flattened for me though, but I wonder if that's because I speak from the tippy top of my range now. Interesting.
Either way, I suppose the only real way to see what happens is to just go for it. I know that's fairly straightforward and probably not a big help, but you really won't know what it'll all come to if you don't start, y'know? I know when I started that I never thought that my deep voice could ever amount to anything remotely useful. But here I am I think.
10
grym - 2.4yr
This is honestly really heartening to hear, I haven't started voice training yet.
Do you know if it's affected by age, like if you start later in life, is it harder to voice train?
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JohannaChittarra - 2.4yr
It’s only affected by age so much as our voices are affected by age! That is, an older woman sounds different than a younger woman. It is entirely possible to voice train at any stage of life. Here’s a fun example of someone doing it later in life with amazing results.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yhDzwADP000&pp=ygUTbXRhIGFubm91bmNlciB0cmFucw%3D%3D
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HexReplyBot [none/use name] - 2.4yr
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
Sure hope this vendor reaches out to me about shipping my meds soon. This is slightly longer than she has taken to get me tracking in the past, so clearly I should catastrophize things.
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FemboyStalin [she/her,any] - 2.4yr
Tw: Death/Doomerism
The murder of Nex Benedict is really getting to me. It's really caused me to reckon with all the compartmentalizing I've done for all trans death for so long. Like I've said "their death is tragic but we're dying to create a better world for the future". But Nex's death doesn't do that, their death is going to drive more young people to stay in the closet, and the way the authorities are handling it, it feels like that's the point.
Im beginning to lose hope for a better future. I know that's how they win but they are factually winning. Idk, just venting. I can't stop crying all the time.
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Cromalin [she/her] - 2.4yr
ugggh
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Cromalin [she/her] - 2.4yr
::: spoiler dysphoria (vague)
having one of those nights where i can't stop staring at my wrists. dysphoria is a fuck
:::
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Raebxeh - 2.4yr
I’m considering that I may be genderfluid. I have days where being more masculine seems fine and that would historically make me panic about not actually being trans. But maybe I can just roll with that and know that the feminine days will return.
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GayBot - 2.4yr
GayBot loading------
Gaybot Online-------
Gay
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ilyenkov [she/her, they/them] - 2.4yr
Wore a bralette outside the house for the first time today (I've only been on HRT for 2 months, I definitely don't need it just like how it looks/feels). When I bent over and could see a bit of it under my blouse it felt so incredible. Time to wear one all the time
I'm very, very pro trans gun ownership, but I think a gun isn't really the best way to be safe during early transition. For one this, a trans person actually using a gun in self defense is going to face a lot of pushback. The cops, courts, and media will not be on your side. Bystanders can't be relied upon to be accurate witnesses. But there are good ways to keep yourself safe. You can meet other trans people who can look out for you, and go with you during those terrifyingly early transition excursions we all deal with. You can avoid being publicly trans until you've been on hormones for a while and have practiced your presentation. You can move to a safer area. If you do those things, you'll be in a much better place than you would be right now with a gun.
I saw a pic from a couple years back and realized my boobs haven't grown at all and I can't help but feel just disgusted at my body. It's so frustrating and feels like something nobody cares about which makes it feel even more alienating. I think also about the doctor I specifically tried to get for 2 years to do anything about it and I just got handwaved away saying "there's nothing we can do". I really hate it so much and wish there was anything I could do about it.
Ive been on 8mg e sublingual plus 100mg spiro since the beginningand my family has relatively big breasts. I fucking hate it so much.
10
Tommasi [she/her, pup/pup's] - 2.4yr
Is it only the breast growth that's missing or is feminization slow in general?
I know some people who struggle with spiro have more success with different test blockers and it really sucks if your doctor isn't even willing to have that conversation. Is there any chance you could switch to another, hopefully more trans-friendly one?
8
heartheartbreak [fae/faer] - 2.4yr
I think it's just breast growth. It sucks that there's just so little evidence of anything for us. I was also thinking I should try to start progesterone or mayb switch to injections although I'm again unsure what would be effective or do anything if at all
7
frankfurt_schoolgirl [she/her] - 2.4yr
I started rectal prog and injections at about 2 years and they started growing again. It can definitely work.
7
TerminalEncounter [she/her] - 2.4yr
A lot comes down to genetic lottery, you can expect to have about a cup size less than the cis women in your family.
Also, have you been eating? You should be gaining body fat%, women are supposed to. You can try weight cycling, it works for some trans women! Prog, I've heard differing results. One of my trans friends says her growth was stunted by starting prog - its helped me, but only a little bit.
6
TerminalEncounter [she/her] - 2.4yr
And spiro eventually stopped working for blocking my T levels. I got on cypro. I still had good growth on spiro - but I guess see where your T is at.
And this all takes time. It does sound like you've done a lot of time though
5
TerminalEncounter [she/her] - 2.4yr
I got to dom the girl I liked and top her for like an entire weekend and it was sooooo good
9
vertexarray [any] - 2.4yr
Impossible desires!
8
Tommasi [she/her, pup/pup's] - 2.4yr
First laser session went well (I think? It's gonna be a good while until I can tell if there's any results), but I'm forbidden from shaving for the first 4-5 days to give my skin time to rest, so I'm holed up in my home this weekend and avoiding all the mirrors.
7
queermunist she/her - 2.4yr
So so so glad masks have become somewhat normalized. I could still show up to work and not have to explain anything 🤫
8
Tommasi [she/her, pup/pup's] - 2.4yr
That's what I did Friday!
7
DragonBallZinn [he/him, they/them] - 2.4yr
I may be cis, but damn I wish that recreational hormonal cocktails were legal.
I want just enough estrogen to be a pretty qt twink.
SnowySkyes in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
Weekly Trans Megathread for the Week of 2/17
Yes we're late >.>
Hang out. Chat. Talk about what's going on. Have fun :3
Ok so either I'm having a manic episode or the brain fog I've lived with my entire life is kinda lifting about 3 months into HRT? Honestly I feel like I can actually engage with my work and not barely tread water, and I have actual confidence? I'm not even out at work. It's kinda something I never thought would happen but it seems to be happening??!?
Many such cases!
Yo I'm like 2 months in as well and I've been more productive and confident than I've felt in years, I'm not even out at work either. I guess I was just depressed.
When I first started transitioning that exact feeling was the number one benefit I told people about. Like the engines running on new oil and it's running so smooth now
I've heard trans people talk about it before bit tbh I also was very much in the thought process of "This will not just fix your life or be a magic drug. It will just make me grow boobs basically" but like I gotta say it's just way better than I ever could have expected
That’s what I’ve been telling myself for a while now. I’ve been avoiding estrogen because of constraints in my life. Are you saying this isn’t the whole picture?
estrogen isn't for everyone but personally it's been a lifesaver. i feel unbelievably better about everything
What I'm saying is that, I had heard that estrogen was like life changing and changed many different parts of your life. But from other people, I heard it just made them grow boobs basically. I aired on the side of caution and just expected it to basically make me grow boobs and stuff.
Frankly I've been very pleasantly suprised. It's really life changing for me. Like I can exist in society. I can literally focus at work which I never expected to happen. I'm not even out there yet. I feel like where in the past I would jsut become depressed and anxious and really miserable about so many things I'm just... not. Like I feel good. It's really wild. I've never felt this way
I wouldn't say it's fixed my life cuz I got all kinds of problems. But it is kinda magic and I feel mentally sharper and more in touch with my emotions and I've not been on it long
incredibly envious/happy for you
I'm getting my face lasered tomorrow
congrats! it hurts, but it's a very short pain and the results are super good in my experience. they take time though, you won't notice much of anything after the first session
Thanks! I really hope I have good results, but the nurse did warn me it could go either way with my hair color. I'm a redhead, but more brown-ish, auburn red, so it's apparently hard to say if my hairs have enough of the right type of melanin for the laser to be effective or not.
i wish you the best!
So excited for you!
I'm coming to the realization that I have no idea how to dress myself.
Yeah its definitely a skill, but it's such a fun process. It's all about figuring out what fits on your body. Being AMAB I am quite limited honestly. Idk what you look like honestly but like, flared jeans do a lot... imo. Also thrift stores are your friend
Tell me more about flared jeans
Idk why but for me, they look so fem. Nothing really matches up, especially ones that are very tight around the thighs and quite loose around the ankles. I love them. Also make sure they're high waisted. (High waisted jeans accentuate the hips that don't exist on me lol)
Hmmmmm I may have to look into it
Yeah I don't have curves so I'll have to give high waisted flared jeans a try. My body shape is about as rectangular as it gets.
I think what it does is basically just adds curviness to your body. If you're in the US they sell some at target that are p good. And yeah, idk about you but I have the inverted triangle body shape so there's a lot of like, trying to hide that in my clothing. I use wraps, shawls, pashminas to cover my shoulders and stuff so as to mask the shape of my body
Skill issue, just wear a dress and then everyone thinks you're fancy for doing no effort
Most people don't!
I've dressed in blue jeans and band tee shirts for decades. Hahaha so outside of that, I'm lost. But I'm learning!
Protip: only wear black, everything will always match.
i like layering, seeing what shirts go well with a given jacket. good weather for it, if your in the northern hemisphere
Hung out with one of my partners tonight. Found out they've been exploring some gender stuff a bit but insist "I don't have dysphoria so I'm not trans." Which, not how that works, but fair, you don't have to be trans to play with gender. Then I start thinking back through our relationship and I'm like "oh, this is all textbook trans shit... How did I not realize this earlier?!"
And now I'm just like, I guess I gotta pretend I don't know what's going on here for however long while they figure stuff out when all I wanna do is laugh maniacally and be like "WELCOME TO THE CLUB"
Of course I would never do that. But like, come on.
My usual for these threads
Thank u king
🫡🫡🫡🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵🫡🫡🫡
The past couple of days it's felt like my brain was in a pinball machine, rapidly bouncing between "I want nothing more than to unalive myself right now" and "wow I haven't felt this good in a while".
IDK if anyone is
doom scrollingFollowing the Nex Benedict case as closely as I am, but earlier today, the preliminary police autopsy allegedly found that Nex's death was not caused by the head trauma they received the day prior, during the incident where they were beaten.Now I'm not a medical professional, so I could be really off base here, but.... That sounds like a load of shit to me. What else could it have been?
i started playing final fantasy 14, and i wanted to add a mod so my character would have top surgery scars. but i couldn't find any mods for editting the vanilla body texture to have that, so i basically had to download 2 gb worth of mods just for top surgery scars.
but i mean it worked so i guess it's fine
Worth it, imho
Hiii, everyone how are you all doing. Hopefully well!!! 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵
I'm switching to weekly injections. Please send help.
From what?
Biweekly. I've been doing it for almost a year, but it feels like my body spins the roulette wheel every time. Sometimes I'm so nervous my hands shake. Sometimes it feels like the needle (21 gauge) doesn't want to go in, even though I feel like I'm applying the same amount of force and coming straight down. Sometimes the estradiol will seep out of the injection site after leaving the needle in for a few seconds after I inject and I slowly remove the needle. Sometimes it's absolutely fine and I feel amazing afterwards.
Oh wow yeah biweekly is not a lot. That's what my doctor prescribed bur I b just skipped to doing once every 5 days and it's been perfect.
Took me an hour and a half to muster the courage to do my first injection. Now I look forward to it when it comes up.
injections aren't bad! i had a panic attack doing my first one but after that it's been fine
don't freak out if you bleed like a stuck pig btw, just make a reminder not to stab that area again
i recommend looking up YouTube videos on the injection BUT ALSO the drawing up process if you haven't already. there's a specific technique to getting the needle into the bottle without shooting chunks of rubber into it
You get used to them. My top tip, tap around the area you're injecting for a spot with fewer nerve endings. You'll feel it less, or if you're lucky, not at all.
I'll try this for my next one, thank you
My hormone-doctor meeting was delayed till the middle of march. Very unhappy that this is the case, but happy that I have such clear feelings about it.
I have talked with a local transwoman about hormones and she recommended hormone patches(need to be exchanged every 3.5 days). She said that they go directly into the bloodstream, as opposed to pills, and are less of a bother than injections. They are also paid by insurance here(injections are not) I never see them talked about online, are they uncommon in the anglophone world?
My mother has been proposing female names for me, now that I am out to her. It's appreciated, I am still hesitant to commit to one.
doctors here generally want to prescribe pills and be done with it. i think it's usually possible to get patches but you need to know and ask
Injections aren't covered?! Kinda crazy imo. That's like, THE way to take hormones imo. I've heard good things about patches
in germamy injections dont even exist. The only doable way to get them is the gray market.
What the hell??? I wonder why. To me they are so easy and consistent.
couldn't find any reason.
the prefered way here is gel or pills. gel is pretty great from what i've heard. Pills are kinda ugh. I have to take pills though because of a skin condition.
There was just one company that offered them and they went bankrupt. Because trans women are such a small market and estradiole is mostly produced for menopausal cis women who do fine with gels and do not need the high monotherapy doses that benefit the most from injections, nobody has bothered going through the approval process for a new injectable product.
So much for "transgender ideology is a big pharma conspiracy".
I am hearing very different stuff on injections, some people hate them and find them bothersome, and often I hear the opposite. I guess it is personal preference and comfort with needles?
Yeah I mean I don't like the needles part. But I also did not want T blockers. I just wanted to do monotherapy and injections are the best for that as far as I understand. That being said also injections really don't hurt or anything, it's just a little weird stabbing yourself with a pointy object
They do exist if you find a pharmacy that custom makes them for you. Let's not talk about the price, though. I hear that they're easier available in Hamburg because a trans celebrity there has them produced in bulk so that they're more affordable. I wonder if regional crowdfunders would be a possibility, it's really about scale with this stuff.
You don't have to commit to a name right away, it's ok to try them out. I ended up sticking with my first pick because it just felt lived-in and authentic after half a year or so, but i know a lot of people who've switched things around a bit.
I got a lot of new clothes come in today. Put it on and I think it's a great look, but I'm not so confident in my body shape as of yet. I'll just need to get over it at some point.
Thinking about how my voice training would/will go. My current voice varies so much based on situation, comfort, even topic and I do funny voices/impressions on the regular. I guess maybe that should make it easier/more familiar? But it still seems so daunting and impossible to arrive at something I'd consider natural and fitting for me
Most voices vary depending on the situation. So that's a pretty normal thing altogether. And as you slowly train your voice, it'll move the needle slowly but surely. Your voice will modulate from a new neutral every time you move that needle. As for something that sounds natural to you, that may be a mental block that's a smidgen difficult to overcome. I voice trained last year and sit on a voice that's apparently indistinguishable from any other woman's. But in my head, I still have remnants of the old me hanging around and it causes me a neurosis of sorts. That's coming off a nice compliment I got last night saying my voice sounds cis and that it's smoother than most ciswomen this person has seen. idk
I know most voices vary, but I feel like mine varies a freakish amount to where I feel like a different person is talking at times
I used to feel like that in the past, so I understand you. I would have a wildly different voice depending on the emotion that was dominant. It kinda flattened for me though, but I wonder if that's because I speak from the tippy top of my range now. Interesting.
Either way, I suppose the only real way to see what happens is to just go for it. I know that's fairly straightforward and probably not a big help, but you really won't know what it'll all come to if you don't start, y'know? I know when I started that I never thought that my deep voice could ever amount to anything remotely useful. But here I am I think.
This is honestly really heartening to hear, I haven't started voice training yet. Do you know if it's affected by age, like if you start later in life, is it harder to voice train?
It’s only affected by age so much as our voices are affected by age! That is, an older woman sounds different than a younger woman. It is entirely possible to voice train at any stage of life. Here’s a fun example of someone doing it later in life with amazing results. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yhDzwADP000&pp=ygUTbXRhIGFubm91bmNlciB0cmFucw%3D%3D
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
Sure hope this vendor reaches out to me about shipping my meds soon. This is slightly longer than she has taken to get me tracking in the past, so clearly I should catastrophize things.
Tw: Death/Doomerism
The murder of Nex Benedict is really getting to me. It's really caused me to reckon with all the compartmentalizing I've done for all trans death for so long. Like I've said "their death is tragic but we're dying to create a better world for the future". But Nex's death doesn't do that, their death is going to drive more young people to stay in the closet, and the way the authorities are handling it, it feels like that's the point. Im beginning to lose hope for a better future. I know that's how they win but they are factually winning. Idk, just venting. I can't stop crying all the time.
ugggh
::: spoiler dysphoria (vague) having one of those nights where i can't stop staring at my wrists. dysphoria is a fuck :::
I’m considering that I may be genderfluid. I have days where being more masculine seems fine and that would historically make me panic about not actually being trans. But maybe I can just roll with that and know that the feminine days will return.
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Wore a bralette outside the house for the first time today (I've only been on HRT for 2 months, I definitely don't need it just like how it looks/feels). When I bent over and could see a bit of it under my blouse it felt so incredible. Time to wear one all the time
i feel like i can't transition until i get a gun
I'm very, very pro trans gun ownership, but I think a gun isn't really the best way to be safe during early transition. For one this, a trans person actually using a gun in self defense is going to face a lot of pushback. The cops, courts, and media will not be on your side. Bystanders can't be relied upon to be accurate witnesses. But there are good ways to keep yourself safe. You can meet other trans people who can look out for you, and go with you during those terrifyingly early transition excursions we all deal with. You can avoid being publicly trans until you've been on hormones for a while and have practiced your presentation. You can move to a safer area. If you do those things, you'll be in a much better place than you would be right now with a gun.
Why
unsafe
I saw a pic from a couple years back and realized my boobs haven't grown at all and I can't help but feel just disgusted at my body. It's so frustrating and feels like something nobody cares about which makes it feel even more alienating. I think also about the doctor I specifically tried to get for 2 years to do anything about it and I just got handwaved away saying "there's nothing we can do". I really hate it so much and wish there was anything I could do about it.
Ive been on 8mg e sublingual plus 100mg spiro since the beginningand my family has relatively big breasts. I fucking hate it so much.
Is it only the breast growth that's missing or is feminization slow in general?
I know some people who struggle with spiro have more success with different test blockers and it really sucks if your doctor isn't even willing to have that conversation. Is there any chance you could switch to another, hopefully more trans-friendly one?
I think it's just breast growth. It sucks that there's just so little evidence of anything for us. I was also thinking I should try to start progesterone or mayb switch to injections although I'm again unsure what would be effective or do anything if at all
I started rectal prog and injections at about 2 years and they started growing again. It can definitely work.
A lot comes down to genetic lottery, you can expect to have about a cup size less than the cis women in your family.
Also, have you been eating? You should be gaining body fat%, women are supposed to. You can try weight cycling, it works for some trans women! Prog, I've heard differing results. One of my trans friends says her growth was stunted by starting prog - its helped me, but only a little bit.
And spiro eventually stopped working for blocking my T levels. I got on cypro. I still had good growth on spiro - but I guess see where your T is at.
And this all takes time. It does sound like you've done a lot of time though
I got to dom the girl I liked and top her for like an entire weekend and it was sooooo good
Impossible desires!
First laser session went well (I think? It's gonna be a good while until I can tell if there's any results), but I'm forbidden from shaving for the first 4-5 days to give my skin time to rest, so I'm holed up in my home this weekend and avoiding all the mirrors.
So so so glad masks have become somewhat normalized. I could still show up to work and not have to explain anything 🤫
That's what I did Friday!
I may be cis, but damn I wish that recreational hormonal cocktails were legal.
I want just enough estrogen to be a pretty qt twink.